The Night Watch: Series Two, Thread Two

[SteveD]

(Series Two, Thread One here: http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?threadid=97116)

For those of you just joining us….none of this will make any sense. It’s not easy to write up, either, because there were so many undertones and hints. I’d like to know what my players thought about those.

Also, kudos to Scott and Colin for playing their PCs at the same time as playing their opposite’s father. Dualistic fun that could have easily been a nightmare, but they kept them separate and made them work. And not just work, but come alive as characters. Amazing, guys.

Okay.


For those of you just joining us, here are the dramatic personae:

Edward Hunton-Smythe: (Rupert Penrys-Jones) Rebellious son of a VERY well respected Inner Council member. Became a Watcher because his father expected it, and is rapidly reaching the conclusion that he can’t stay there because he rejects who they are and what they stand for. Also gay. Both of these things have hurt his father badly. Watched a big spiky demon kill his mother as a young boy, and has hated monsters ever since, but later discovered his cousin and close friend John is a monster at full moon, and has had to adjust a lot.

Sir Charles Hunton-Smythe: (Ian Richardson) The father. Staid, solemn, taciturn. Probably the smartest man in Britain. Has been estranged from his son since his wife died. Now dying of cancer, he is trying to rebuild the bridges but cannot hide his deep disapproval of everything his son does.

John Chetwynd-Talbot (Cary Elwes): Cousin and best friend of Eddie’s, at least until the monster thing. Turns into a porcupine demon at full moon, apparently due to a family curse, which affects his brother constantly – all of which he only discovered last Christmas. Initially not a Prentice (watcher-student), he became one last year because he wanted to fight evil. His father does NOT approve – and nor does Eddie. Apart from this, is trying hard to be groomed for the high peerage he will inherit, and follow his father’s wishes in this.

Lord Charles Chetwynd-Talbot (Christopher Plummer): As posh and polished as would be expected for one of the highest and oldest peers in England, he never puts a word out of place. A famed hunter, he could have been a great Watcher, but never liked their politics – nor, he’s hinted, are they happy about his family secret. There’s some bad blood there, particularly with his former close friend and relative, Sir Charles. They were at Oxford together….before the feud began.

This week is a special second year occasion – a parental weekend, when all the parents come and actually reside in college with their children (or nearby) and see everything of their lives. It will be, therefore, the first time Lord Charles and Sir Charles have seen each other since the feud. It should prove…interesting.

Also:
Tom (Eddie Kaye Thomas): the Greatest American Hero. Has no angst, no hang-ups and no clue what’s going on, ever. Has a girlfriend called Miranda, a geeky swot with a crazy streak who has been known to use magic for her own selfish purposes. Has a large magic sword which makes him bad-ass. Has a small role in this episode.

Charlotte (Aishwarya Rai): this beautiful Asian (as in Indian) telekinetic feels like a freak because of her new-found powers and sudden shunting into watcher-dom. She longs for approval from her rich and glamorous parents. New to the show in series two and yet to really fit into the group, she has bonded with the other outsider, Eirion.

Eirion (Paul McGann): A poor boy and a misfit. He comes from a family of bucolic Welsh demon worshippers. The Watcher’s Council killed them all, burnt his village to the ground and one raised the boy as his ward. His lower-class status has made him something of an outsider at college. He recently tried to redress this by magicing himself up a horse, but when his Invigilator (Watcher-teacher) discovered he was doing Sorcery (which is very much against the rules) she suspended him on the spot.

Now read on…

[SteveD]

Previously, on The Night Watch:

We flash back to Eddie’s dad saying he’s dying of cancer (1.4). Then to Eddie telling his dad he’s gay after his dad yelled at him to be a better Watcher (1.7). Then to John’s trip home and the legend of the beast (1.5). His father forbidding John to go into the woods. His father holding a shotgun on John and his brother, both in beast form, as John changes back. John’s father talking about how the Watchers are narrow-minded fools. Eddie’s father talking about how he should get away from those Talbots lest he ruin his reputation. (1.7)

2.5 Pater Familias

(For those of you don’t read latin – the patriarch of a household, or great family).

We begin with a scene we’ve seen twice before: Eddie’s recurring nightmare which awakes him all too often. Little Eddie (aged maybe 6?) walks downstairs in his pyjamas. It is a big Edwardian house. He walks into a parlour, and sees a ghastly spiky shadow thrown against the wall, the claws and teeth clearly visible. He turns around, eyes wide. The beast holds his mother – her throat slit - in its bloody claws. Hidden in shadow, we can’t see it very well before it leaps out the window in a shatter of glass – a shatter which becomes the boy’s scream.

And then Eddie’s scream and he sits up in bed again. He gets up and walks to his desk – shot from behind so he can do a long naked buttwalk for all the straight girls and gay men in the audience. He gets out some alcohol, pours a glass, drinks, shudders and stares out the window. The full moon hangs low over the college walls.

Next morning, the crew are in the library. Pru stands to attention. John, Eddie, Charlotte and Tom sit in silent vigil. Eirion stands to attention. Pru announces that the Council has agreed that his punishment shall only be a mark on his record and the suspension he has already served. He is welcome back to his studies – but with conditions: Pru has to closely manage his magical studies. She gives him a list of books he can use. He is of course way past that level already, but says nothing.

Next Pru explains that one reason Magdalen likes having the Council as a partner is it also opens its doors to some of the less human students and families in Britain. Which means that every year on parents’ day the demon-proof Shield around the twon must be dropped to allow everyone the freedom to attend.

Eddie: Lower the shields? What is this, Star Trek?
Tom: If Wil Wheaton shows up, I’m leaving.

The gang demand to know why they weren’t told of this last year.

Pru: Well, I didn’t want to alarm you….and I’m going to show you how to do it, as part of your studies.
Tom: What, alarming people?
Eirion: We already know how to do that.

Pru tells them to hush and go get their dowsing rods (see 2.2). There was lots of OOC giggling here which I chose to make in character so I could do my Pru face and stare down my glasses at them. The verisimilitude between teacher/student and GM/player worked marvellously. Meaanwhile, Eddie asks John if his father needs the special pass. John returns that it can skip generations. They speculate on who the families might be. People tried to explain the backstory about John to Charlie but they did it badly and she told them to stop. Then two men in black arrive and ask to speak to Eddie.

They inform him that he is the sole beneficiary of the will of Corporal Susan Brackenwood. Eddie knew her only as a student (up to the point when she was brutally slain by the evil homunculus-doll thing wearing Fay’s face, see 1.9), but she was working for a special “initiative” of the CIA to study occult phenomena. Being a spy and having no family, Eddie gets her stuff.

And roll credits on this shocking reveal! Play Pulp’s Common People!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Bloody 'ell!

[SteveD]

(just to warn you guys - I do not have time to write this all up now. You're only gona get some of it. Consider it a long commercial break.)

Back in his room, Eddie opens the box. There’s some investments and cash, an air-force uniform, her medals, some jewellery, a watch, a journal. Not much to add up to a life. Eddie looks at his car out the window – a car he named Susan after her. He’s gay, but they shared something, if only briefly.

Meanwhile, the rest of campus is buzzing to prepare for their parents. Chaos reigns. Eirion puts on the only suit he owns (John gave it to him for Christmas last year). Charlotte is running around panicking looking for an iron for her designer dress that her socialite mother bought her. Charlie opens John’s door as he runs to it, and they both yell at each other at the same time:

Charlie and John (together): Have you got an iron? (pause) No! (pause) DAMN!

John is trying to dress like the son of a lord and has no idea whether to go with the long tie or the cravat, let alone which suit to wear. He begs Eddie for advice. Yes, that’s right: it’s Queer Eye for the Watcher Guy!

Which explains the riding crop he’s holding when they finally come down to the courtyard. String music plays. Parents of varying states of snobbery and decay mill in that vaguely predatory way they can. The gang split up to find their parental unit and give them a tour of their digs. Tom’s father (Gene Hackman) is keen to make sure his son is sucking seed from his education, not to mention sowing his wild oats, but not letting said oats go to seed in any way. Charlie’s mother is absent, her aunt Constance (Maggie Smith) is here instead, and she too is keen for her daughter to, as she put it, to “shag everything in trousers”. Eirion’s guardian Terrence Blake (Alan Rickman) is as bored with these rituals as Eirion is, but sends greetings from Charity (see 2.1). John’s father is cordial but demanding, and John defers to him. Eddie’s father is cold and distant, and uncomfortable. Eddie is defiant; he explains he’s been ill, and has “come over all queer”.

Eddie and John cross over on their tour, and each side indicates disdain that their son rooms with the other. They are not happy that their sons have crossed the lines of their feud.

There’s LOTS of undercurrents to which I cannot do justice in text. I wish I’d taped the whole game because there was some glorious stuff which will never exist again. Such a transient art form we have.

After the tour, there is the obligatory father-son rugger match. Charlotte and her aunt watch with Sir Charles - too weak to play. The other fathers get stuck into the rucking. Most of the boys have the sense not to play too hard but Tom well...is Tom. He body slams Lord Charles and wins the game. Then they hit the showers.

That night, it is time for a progressive dinner through the many dining halls of Magdalen. The boys are in black tie and a bit uncomfortable. While ascending the stairs from entree to first main, there is a disturbance outside. A dishevelled lower-class man (David Jason) in a mac bursts in and starts shouting Eirion's name. Then the porters throw him out.

Eirion, Charlie and Tom go to investigate - Eddie and John could not leave their fathers. Outside, they find the man dusting himself off. When he sees Eirion he gasps in disbelief, does a "as I live an' breave" and gives him a hug. A hug from his long-lost uncle Dennis!

Commercial.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by SteveD
There’s LOTS of undercurrents to which I cannot do justice in text. I wish I’d taped the whole game because there was some glorious stuff which will never exist again. Such a transient art form we have.
This is why my notes sprawl across multiple pages and I still get told off for missing stuff.

[SteveD]

Uncle Dennis says he has an amazing story to tell Eirion - if he can buy his uncle a drink.

And cloth cap on, I go into long exposition mode. Worked okay though.

Uncle Dennis explains that the Council lied to Eirion - yes, his Uncle Nathaniel took things too far, but mostly, his family are all peaceful, good-working earth sorcerers. Eirion was the son of a particularly talented one, who took steps to ensure his son would be as powerful as he was, perhaps more so. When the council came to Eirion's village, they did burn it down but there were only five deaths and four arrests. The rest of the town moved on but kept practising. Believing Eirion dead, they only just tracked him down last year, seeing his face in the paper after that scandal with the dead girl in the hotel room. And only today, when the shield is dropped could they come get him, because some of Dennis' friends (who are waiting in the car) have some earthblood taint.

Why have they come to get him? To make him an offer to take up his destiny. After all, what has he got here? A common boy, never accepted by the toffs, never to be accepted. Always their monkey boy. Never taught what he's supposed to know. And never, EVER taught real magic. Or he could come with them back to the farm, and live again amongst people of his blood and homeland and social class, people who care for each other and do for each other and come from the same place. And people who can show him the potential he really has. People who can make him achieve his destiny to be the greatest earth-warlock who ever lived. Isn't that worth something?

Particularly, if he comes tonight, he could see something very special, to convince him - a ritual to contact the giants from the old days. Cor, should be a right laff, eh?

Uncle Dennis also asks about Eirion's activities:

Uncle Dennis: Come on, my son, you've been doing magic haven't you?
Eirion: No
Charlie: Maybe
Tom: Yes

Totally unscripted, and marvellous. He assumes Charlie is Eirion's girl and tells him he can bring her along to the show - cos she's a very pretty bird, and a total keeper - and it's not like the boys club will be opening the books for her either. He asks Tom what his story is, if he's an outsider too:

Tom: I'm an American!
Dennis: You poor bastard. Anyway...

He bids them think it over, and come see him at the pub by midnight if they are coming. No questions asked. Then he shoos them off to think.

And cut back to dinner, with John and Eddie...

[Elemental]

Say, have you ever thought of crossposting the story here? (http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/forumdisplay.php?f=14) I know it's mainly d20 stuff, but there's no prohibition against accounts that used other systems.

[Craig Oxbrow]

The audience... think of the audience... *cackles*

[thenewgirl]

Originally posted by SteveD
Uncle Dennis says he has an amazing story to tell Eirion - if he can buy his uncle a drink.
*snip*

It was a very good game...:)

[Burgonet]

I'll be saving my comments overall until such time as the episode is posted in full.

But yes, it was a very good episode. It was fun to play John's Dad.

More later.

[SteveD]

Again, I must stress that Scott and Colin were superb. Not only were they perfectly getting their characters, sniping at their old enemies and their sons perfectly, with subtle jokes and barbed remarks...but they did it all while playing two characters at once. Unbelievable.

Inspires me to do an idea I've been thinking about - where there's two parallel stories in past and present, and each player plays themselves now and a similar character in the past.

Anyhoo.

Earlier, Aunt Constance had explained about the feud - and why it started. The two old friends were fine until Sir Charles discovered Talbot's many-year affair with his wife, Elizabeth. BIG scandal back in the day, and after it, Sir Charles almost wiped Lord Talbot's finances out, they say.

John and Eddie and their fathers spent the dinner nibbling their fish and withstanding the bickering. Lord Talbot commented that it was good to have a legacy, grandchildren...not that Sir Charles would know. Sir Charles attacked his son for not getting a woman. Eddie, sick of the fish, asked for the chicken. Sir Charles: "Well, that's the first bird you'll have eaten in a while". The disapproval between Talbots and Smythes and fathers and sons is THICK. You could cut the tension with a knife.

CUt back to Tom, Eirion and Charlie walking home. They discuss things. Eirion is confused. The others urge him to go - but stress he shouldn't tell Blake, as he will just forbid him to go. Tom points out that there's a whole college full of watchers on campus, they can't get away with this. Eirion points out that they're not watching them, their minds are elsewhere.

Quick cut back to the dining room. Over port and cigars, Sir Charles is leading the room in The Hedgehog Song. Especially the dirty verses.

Disgusted, Lord Talbot leaves - the hedgehog song is an attack at him, as he tells his son when he finds him in the cloisters. Another superb conversation occurs. Lord Talbot demands John stop being a watcher before it goes bad - and it WILL go bad. John adds irony on irony when he says "I'm sure Edward will watch over me". Lord Talbot shuffles off, shaking his head.

Eirion and Charlie head up to say goodnight to their parents.
Charlotte: I'm going to bed now
Aunt Constance: TAKE. SOMEBODY. WITH YOU. That country boy looks nice - bet he has strong hands...and knows how to use them....

Tom heads off, as he put it, "to have some confusion with Miranda". Eddie and John grab Susan and get ready to follow Eirion and Charlie when they go meet Uncle Dennis. The latter is rather drunk and hits on Charlie terribly before they go and get in his Reliant Robin with Derek and Eric, two big-necked stupid twin bruvvers. Uncle Dennis explains a bit more about the rit-chool.

Uncle Dennis: I won' beat 'round thuh bush - there will be a bit o' blood
Eirion and Charlie (together): Whose?!?

Charlie has her mobile on and comments on their directions - "oh, the M4 huh? HEading east? Wow, I normally drive west on it..." While they follow, Eddie seems to be hitting on John almost. He talks about Susan and the past and the future, and their fathers and choices. God, I wish I could have taped it all.

But then the mobile goes funny and drops out. Back in the car, Uncle Dennis mumbles some latin. The old AM radio jumps and starts talking latin. Eirion slumps against the window. Charlie shakes off her wooziness and demands to know what's going on. Uncle Dennis turns around and says "sorry about this, love. Really. But we can't have any distractions..." And a massive hand grasps her mouth and throat...

[Burgonet]

Don't forget that Eddie and John DID pop out, to have a yarn with their compatriots, who were already into the 'What should Eirion do' discussion.

To which Eddie said, in proof that he's come full circle:

"That all fine and good. But there's only really one person who should answer this. Eirion, what is it that your heart is telling you to do?"

The rest of the group seemed more concerned with the pros and cons as if it was a strategy meeting for a team sport or a battle.

For Eirion, as Eddie saw it, it was family. And Eirion's call, only.

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by SteveD
While they follow, Eddie seems to be hitting on John almost. He talks about Susan and the past and the future, and their fathers and choices. God, I wish I could have taped it all.


That wasn't it at all, exactly.
It was John and Eddie...relating. Like they used to, before they had their falling out. How close they were (like brothers!) before John was drawn into Eddie's dark world (as Eddie saw it at the time).
I saw it more as a close knit, brotherly conversation. There was certainly intimacy, but more the kind that comes from a close relative, rather than a lover.

For you see; Eddie had come full circle, and had realised that he still had his best friend. More on all that, later.

[SteveD]

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply it was a lover's chat. It just was so intimate it almost seemed like it. Certainly John was confused for a moment, then we realised what was going on.

[SteveD]

Meanwhile, Tom has found Miranda - Miranda who a few weeks ago cast a spell so she could have a perfect day with Tom, the love of her life - talking to Alan Lourdes (Toby Stephens). Alan Lourdes is of course the majorly talented (and VERY good looking) new star of the English sci-fi shows Lightning Bugs. He's VERY cool. And Miranda is laughing at his jokes and HE JUST TOUCHED HER ARM.

Miranda introduces Tom. Alan explains he is, as well as an actor and a Magdelen alumnus, a collector of antique swords. He'd love to see Tom's, if only to appraise it - and make an offer. Tom flatly denies - it's personal. Alan assures him he understands but could provide a VERY generous sum, enough to look after other personal matters very well (looks at Miranda). Tom remains hostile. Miranda chastises him, but Alan leaves anyway. Tom and Miranda go back to his room to have No Sex At All.

Whereupon he gets a call from Charlie. John and Eddie eventually found her in a phone booth somewhere in the Costwolds, freezing her butt off and lost. She tells Tom to tell Blake and send the cavalry. Then the three decide they need to find a big surge of magic - maybe their dowsing rods could help?

Charlie: Hey, did anyone bring their stick?
Eddie: (whipping it out) Got wood!

Cut to the gang driving Susan at high speeds while Charlie is leaning out the sunroof, legs clutched by John, waving her rod around in big crazy circles. Eddie's yelling "Anything yet?"

Back at the library, Tom and Blake are in the library - with Sir Charles and Lord Talbot. Sir Charles was involved with the cleansing of Eirion's village...and if Sir Charles is doing something involving his son, Lord Talbot WILL BE THERE. Besides, he is not clueless in the ways of watchery. Oh no.

They know that they'd need a place to group, but private. In the Cotswolds, where there's lots of magic (which is like looking for a crepe stall in Paris). But Blake does some divination on a map...and comes up with an answer. In that circle, there is only one place it could be.

Silbury Hall.

Built on a hill near the infamous stone-age burial mound Silbury Hill, Silbury Hall is a massive Edwardian boardingschool-cum-hotel built on the ruins of a pre-norman churh and probably a pre-christian cult site. It's safe, well protected, comfortable and a major magical hotspot. Over the years - centuries - it has been a thorn in the Council's side - Sir Charles had to throw some hippie demon worshippers out of it in the sixties - but they've never been able to burn it down and salt the earth because it's heritage listed. Tom nicks the keys belonging to one of the drunk watchers upstairs (probably a Bentley) and soon Blake is driving the four of them east. Tom sits quietly and worriedly in the passenger seat as in the back, Sir Charles and Lord Talbot enjoy another chance to snipe and bicker. Eventually Blake yells "Hey! Do you want tme to pull this car over?"

They find themselves driving down a B road when out of nowhere, Susan screams past, swinging all over the road, with a girl spinning a dowsing rod out the window. "That would be them then..."

The two cars pull up and decide to go on together to the house. Which sparks another wave of bickering about who goes with who and what the hell is my son doing out here and so on. Tom unable to follow all the Charles-es, asks: "so which Charles is in charge?"

The answer of course is Charlotte. As the bickering starts again, she just grabs people and goes:

"uh, guys? Imminent death?"

And they got on with it.

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by SteveD
Sorry, I didn't mean to imply it was a lover's chat. It just was so intimate it almost seemed like it. Certainly John was confused for a moment, then we realised what was going on.

No worries, as we Aussies say.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by SteveD
Tom heads off, as he put it, "to have some confusion with Miranda".
That's my girl. :D


Silbury Hall.
Not to be confused with the Silbury Hall in Cambridgeshire that fell in Victoria Valdermar in TWH 1.10 The Watchtower. Since, y'know, it's in Cambridgeshire. And it fell on somebody.

[SteveD]

Not to be confused with the Silbury Hall in Cambridgeshire that fell in Victoria Valdermar in TWH 1.10 The Watchtower. Since, y'know, it's in Cambridgeshire. And it fell on somebody.

Absolutely. They just look exactly the same, and have the same name.

Silbury Hall looms menacingly from the hilltop - a dark, sombre place with too few lit windows. The gang stop at the burial mound, however, because C&C know a shortcut. It's all coming back to them and indeed, as they get back into the fray, just like old times, the sore backs and short steps are disappearing. Sir Charles doesn't seem to need his cane any more. The two old hands take to the lead down the passage, although Lord Talbot still has time for a gay slur against his old enemy (about back passages).

Light is dim and dark in the narrow, musty burial mound. To which Charlie says "Don't you guys have rods that glow in the dark?"

Long silence.

"What?"

She meant in their eyes - guys have more rods (as opposed to cones) than girls, so see better in the dark, but it was a marvellous wtf moment.

Reaching the end of the cave revealed a tunnel, and then that revealed a rockystaircase. And up and up into a stone cellar, and then a trapdoor into a big warehouse-like room with stone floors. On the floor a pentagram had been drawn in blood and in the middle of that stands Eirion, wearing ceremonial robes (think Klan sans hood), looking a little out of it...and tied to a sheep.

Charlie (looking at the sheep): So...is there something you want to tell me?

I must say, I should get some kind of medal for Most and Cruelest Railroading That The Players Still Enjoy. I cram crap down their throats and they keep coming back for more. I mean, I forced a character into being tied to a sheep with no explanation or choice. Sometimes I'm sure my players will rise up and strike me down for my crimes, but not yet...

Eirion explains that he woke up groggy, was told Charlie was freshening up and then put in strange clothes and prepared. He was still a bit out of it, but nobody had actually harmed him. Hearing someone coming, Charlie disappeared again. Uncle Dennis explained that Eirion just had to follow his lead and cut his arm at the right time, and then the giant will come. He hands Eirion a dagger just like the one he saved the day he was rescued as a kid. Eirion asked about Charlie again (hey, those two spend a lot of time together...) and was again told she was freshening up. Eirion nods, not giving anything away.

Listening downstairs, Sir Charles explains that you never have two sacrifices - one must be the prize and the other the catalyst, or target. Given what Dennis said about Eirion's planned conception, he may have some kind of link to some kind of demonic force or mirror identity, and that link might be about to be restored. Neither Charles, Charles or Charlie would allow that to happen. As Tom put it - it was time for an episode of Charlie Angels....

KAPOW! Mid ritual, our heroes burst from their hiding spot. Dennis curses "Gordon bennet - never a moment's peace. Kill them!" and it's ON for young and indeed, for old.

Lord Talbot charges into the fray, shotgun in one hand, sword in the other. Sir Charles slashes with deadly accuracy. Charlie uses her TK to yank Eirion over to her, knocking herself off her feet. Sir Charles calls out "Look out, they're using telekinetics!". John and Eddie put the boot in as best they can but the cultists are tough bastards and all have swords. There is the clash of steel and the flow of blood. Eirion gets back on his feet and is soon fighting back to back with Blake (metaphortastic). Charlie tries to follow the fleeing Uncle Dennis but he spends a DP and she loses him in the crowd. Lord Talbot shoots another one and Sir Charles throws a fireball. The tide is turning, despite their injuries...but then the cultists pull back and start using guns.

Lord Talbot yells out "Plan Four!". Sir CHarles casts a wall of force around Lord Talbot and he charges into the cultists, using the sword to break the pack down. It's brutal, but it's amazing to see the old dogs not need to learn any new tricks. The cultists are beginning to run. The day will soon be won and then...

BOOM.


BOOM.


BOOM.


And the doors creak open revealing a, well, giant. Fifteen feet tall and armed with a tree trunk. It BELLOWS in fury.

John: So...they have a cave troll....

[SteveD]

The mighty beasts, it's brown body more stone than flesh swings its club. John and Eddie, stepping up as their fathers are otherwise occupied, roll to get clear. John makes it. Eddie doesn't and is crushed against the wall with a sickening snap. Tom sees his chance and runs along the club, up the giant's arm and stabs him in the eye with his massive sword. The giant roars in fury, allowing the others to get in closer and try to stab it. Lord Talbot gets an idea and stabs it in the thigh and makes it angry. It turns as he ducks past it, and chases him out of the room and into the house. Walls smash and collapse. Uncle Dennis ducks for cover, and runs.

Eddie somehow pulls himself up (the club did forty damage, and he'd already been stabbed clean through by two cultist swords) and follows. He too climbs up the giant. Tom cuts a slice of shoulder and Eddie rams his sabre down into it. The giant slams his body into a wall. Tom falls, smacking into a cupboard and shattering his arm. Charlie tries to hold Eddie up with her TK...at which point something snaps in Eddie's shoulder. Eddie falls too - but is caught by TK again. Sir Charles looks at his son, but sees him still concious and chases after Lord Talbot. If he's doing a plan 19, he may need back up.

At this point, Scott spends a DP to put Silbury Hall on top of a cliff. Nice.

It is John therefore who cradles his friend's broken body. Eddie assures John he's okay, then passes out. They need a medic.

Meanwhile the giant is tearing the evil old house apart. Through a gaping hole, a storm is breaking over the cliff. Electrical damage starts a fire. The cultists who are still alive are long gone i the confusion. And Lord Talbot keeps dancing in front of the giant, luring him ever on. Slash slash, dodge dodge, and finally the beast is at the top of the cliff, and out the wall and it lunges for Lord Talbot...and....

f
a
l
l
s

down to the rockpool below. A second later, there is nothing but a rockfall where it lay.

Of Lord Talbot there is no sign, but Sir Charles walks confidently to the edge of the cliff and sticks out a hand. Lord Talbot pulls up from the bush he grabbed and takes it. There's a moment of respect between comrades that might just erase the anger of so many years. Sir Charles nods - a plan 19. Make the large creature's weight be its downfall. Lord Talbot agrees - it was a good day. And a good thing none of theirs got hurt.

Cut to the hospital. We pan around slowly. Eddie is in emergency, with lots of doctors. John is having a head wound patched, Eirion is having his stomach sewed up again. A sheep nibbles on some paperwork. Charlie is hugging her knees and drinking tea. Tom is having his arm plastered again.

Nurse: How did this happen?
Tom: I fell off a giant.
Nurse: Fell off a giant what?

Blake is on the phone calling in the coverup - lightning strike, terrible damage in the fire, many killed. He'll call Pru next. Sir Charles and Lord Charles sit waiting, expectantly. The doctor comes out.

He explains that Eddie's organs were severely damaged, more than they'd expected. During surgery, they had all shut down at once. They fought hard, but there was nothng they could do. He died.

John goes very quiet. Sir Charles makes some bold statement that Eddie went down as he should have, fighting the good fight - proving that he STILL doesn't know who his son is. And Lord Talbot simply stands up straight, stares coldly at Sir Charles, turns and walks out the door. Only when he is outside does emotion begin to creep into his walk. We close in on his face as he whispers with black rage and a need for vengeance:

"You Watcher bastards, you killed my son..."

BLACKOUT.

Credits. Grr. Arg.

[thenewgirl]

T'was a good game....

[U_C]

Originally posted by SteveD
Lord Talbot simply stands up straight, stares coldly at Sir Charles, turns and walks out the door. Only when he is outside does emotion begin to creep into his walk. We close in on his face as he whispers with black rage and a need for vengeance:

"You Watcher bastards, you killed my son..." So Eddie and John were brothers, or am I confused?

Great episode by the way.

Cheers
Steve

[Craig Oxbrow]

Funny, exciting, depressing.

Naturally I'm focused on the depressing.

Good work as usual.

[SteveD]

So Eddie and John were brothers, or am I confused?

Remember how I said that Lord Talbot (John's father) had a many-year affair with Sir Charles' (Eddie's father) wife?

Remember how young Eddie found his dead mother in the arms of a demon?

The best bit on Sunday was watching Adrian's face as the penny dropped.

Steve

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by U_C
So Eddie and John were brothers, or am I confused?

Great episode by the way.

Cheers
Steve

Half brother, actually.
A secret concealed by the two Charles (Lord and Sir), and unknown to either John or Eddie.

[colbabe]

Thanks very much to the wonderful Scott for all of his work on the series as Eddie. Scott is moving to Cairns to be with his lovely girlfriend. We'll miss you! And Eddie!

I must confess to being suddenly struck by tiredness toward the end of the episode, right after the odd conversation in the car. Still not quite sure how I managed to pull off the double character portrayal after that...

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by colbabe
I must confess to being suddenly struck by tiredness toward the end of the episode, right after the odd conversation in the car. Still not quite sure how I managed to pull off the double character portrayal after that...

I found the sock puppet analogy worked well.
Left hand = Eddie
Right hand = Lord Charles

It may have looked odd at times, but raising each of the arms acted as a physical reminder. Which you will need in a game that was fast and flowing, as this one was.

[colbabe]

-stifles arrogant dialogue about accent, pitch, posture, gesture and other theatrical/kinesthetic devices-

Pardon me, something in my throat.

;)

[thenewgirl]

I must say, I should get some kind of medal for Most and Cruelest Railroading That The Players Still Enjoy. I cram crap down their throats and they keep coming back for more. I mean, I forced a character into being tied to a sheep with no explanation or choice. Sometimes I'm sure my players will rise up and strike me down for my crimes, but not yet...

I'll let the ninja's do it.

It was so sad when Eddie died... everyone (except Scott and Steve) went a bit pouty... it was a good scene.

He was a good character, I will miss him (and you too Scott), very much.:(

[thenewgirl]

It may have looked odd at times, but raising each of the arms acted as a physical reminder. Which you will need in a game that was fast and flowing, as this one was.

The really cool thing was, that there was no need to ask at all who each of you were playing- it was so very very good!
:D

[colbabe]

Originally posted by SteveD
Pru tells them to hush and go get their dowsing rods (see 2.2). There was lots of OOC giggling here which I chose to make in character so I could do my Pru face and stare down my glasses at them. The verisimilitude between teacher/student and GM/player worked marvellously.

That was mainly me and Helga. To be honest, I can't even remember why that happened. It sure was hilarious though.

[thenewgirl]

Originally posted by colbabe
That was mainly me and Helga. To be honest, I can't even remember why that happened. It sure was hilarious though.

I think it's 'cause it was after all the tension of what was going to happen to Eirion. Somebody said something silly about rods, which set us off, then our giggling escalated, like the arms race! ;)

"In a world gone mad..." ;)

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by colbabe
-stifles arrogant dialogue about accent, pitch, posture, gesture and other theatrical/kinesthetic devices-

Pardon me, something in my throat.

;)

A sock puppet can kick Marlon Brando's arse any day of the week.

Such is their power... and majesty!

;)

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by thenewgirl
I'll let the ninja's do it.

It was so sad when Eddie died... everyone (except Scott and Steve) went a bit pouty... it was a good scene.

He was a good character, I will miss him (and you too Scott), very much.:(

Mission: Accomplished.

:)

[SteveD]

I'll add my voices to missing Eddie dearly - a fantastic character - but not as much as I'll miss Scott. You're a fantastic roleplayer and I think I learnt mroe about GMing from you than any other player I've met.

Plus you've been a great friend, too. Don't lose touch! For one thing, you'll have to keep reading TNW write-ups...and come back for that ghost/memory episode in series three....

Steve

[SteveD]

... it was a good scene

It was a fantastic scene. And I'd like to thank the writers of ER for giving me my lines.

Steve

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by SteveD
I'll add my voices to missing Eddie dearly - a fantastic character - but not as much as I'll miss Scott. You're a fantastic roleplayer and I think I learnt mroe about GMing from you than any other player I've met.

Plus you've been a great friend, too. Don't lose touch! For one thing, you'll have to keep reading TNW write-ups...and come back for that ghost/memory episode in series three....

Steve

Not to worry.

I could not function without an Internet connection, so I can imagine we'll be keeping in touch.

As to when I go up North, the date is not set.
It's contingent, based upon something that I've mentioned before, that you lot known I'm up to.

So, when something in that vein is done, I'll be heading up.

[SteveD]

Sweet.

I'll definitely have some guest spots available for you before you go, if you can take the time out to let us visit your house....and you, too. :)

BTW, I love where the game is now. Somebody told me back when I was plotting this series that it's ALL about the character arcs. And now that's become so true. After this ep especially, but in general we're in a very sweet spot. The characters are just naturally generating plots at a massive rate and the show effectively writes itself now. I have so many places to go now, and all of them are stacked with impact.

I think my problem in series one was following the show too closely, and having too much emphasis on monster-of-the-week episodes with little trickles of chargen. But RPGs not being TV shows, they work better with less MotW and much more character stuff, so I'm stuffing everything in I can and it's rewarding me with even more stuff coming out. See, originally, the episode with Eirion's secret was going to be completely separate from the one with the parents, but put them together and everyone has something to do...and new plot hooks at the end. Woot!

Course, that does mean the series might not be as long as I thought...

Steve

[BethDragon]

*loud clapping from the audience*

Bravo.... *flowers thrown onstage for Eddie* This is just fabulous....simply fabulous. *happy sigh*

All of the twists and turns and the funny (I loved the rods comment. :D ). And I see Steve went with the sheep. Good choice.

Craig wrote:
This is why my notes sprawl across multiple pages and I still get told off for missing stuff.

That's why I game online. Instant quotage. :)

More? Please? Lots more?

Beth, probably with more commentary when her brain stops reeling...

[SteveD]

I should point out that the sheep came from the chatroom. I would have gone with a pig, but they pointed out that sheep are always funnier. Once again, I owe much of this game to them!

Steve

[colbabe]

Originally posted by SALette
A sock puppet can kick Marlon Brando's arse any day of the week.

I heartily agree. I think Brando sucks ass. Notice that I didn't mention anything about Method Acting, which sucks even more ass.

I gave Steve a good idea for a guest appearance by Rupert Penry-Jones. You should take it up next time you're in town.

Oh yeah, and Rupert was apparently in the third season finale of Absolutely Fabulous. thenewgirl, am I right in thinking that he was the boy who was desperately trying to roll a joint, and Saffy had to correct his technique?

[SteveD]

Forgot a GREAT quote:

John (to Pru): And how is Professor X?
Pru: (with relish) Fan-TASTIC.
John: Ahh! Too Much Information!

[thenewgirl]

Originally posted by colbabe
Oh yeah, and Rupert was apparently in the third season finale of Absolutely Fabulous. thenewgirl, am I right in thinking that he was the boy who was desperately trying to roll a joint, and Saffy had to correct his technique?
I think so, I'd have to check my DVDs!;)

[colbabe]

Damn, I've got those... They're just too good... Joanna Lumley is so damned hilarious... Steve! I want a guest appearance by Ms Lumley!

[The Architect]

Damn. Now that's a way to write out a character. Not onlywere you able to remove a character that circumstances forced you to remove, but you were able to use it to advance the plot.

Well done to TNW cast and crew.

[Mortality]

Oh my god, you killed Eddie!
You Bastards!

...Sorry.

[SteveD]

Ha! Somebody had to say it, Mortality.

Steve

[thenewgirl]

2 days and counting!
yay.
:D

[Burgonet]

Not long to go, then.

Sent Steve stuff via email.
If he doesn't get it, have him call me on Mister Mobile.

[The Architect]

Originally posted by thenewgirl
2 days and counting!
yay.
:D

2 days too long if you ask me.

C'mon people. There are GMs out there who need you guys for their vicarious playing experiences.

[Craig Oxbrow]

If it makes you feel any better, I'm done with my previous three-day distraction and 3/4 of the way through TWH 2.5.

[Burgonet]

Ooooooooh!

*rattles his chain*

Here me, living ones!

The Spirits of the Dead Demand a Session Summary!

Ooooooh!

;)

[Burgonet]

*rattles his chain and entertains himself with strange pantomime*

The dead are restless, restless!

Oh where art thou, actual play?


*the clink of two beer bottles together in the loneliness of the night...*


;)

[colbabe]

Originally posted by SALette
*the clink of two beer bottles together in the loneliness of the night...*

Damned free VB from the trivia night... Guuuuhh... Don't feel well... Steve, you weren't drinking any, were you?

[SteveD]

I think what worried me most about this session is how effortless it was. Partly because the players were running things (which always makes me a bit worried because I just love to tell stories), and partly because I seem to think that it should be hard work to be great. But it was great without effort - well, without strain, I mean. Because the characters are so well defined and the players know them so well (and I the NPCs) that it writes itself and plays itself. Each plot giving way to a new idea, and the ideas I throw at them instantly suggesting appropriate and entertaining scenes.

Which is another reason why episodic TV shows like Buffy so perfectly suit campaign play: exactly like a TV show, the players can get a real feel for their characters as time goes on, returning over and over to the central concepts but at the same time deepening and strengthening them as they know them better. Rock.

And now, without further ado:

2.6 Keeping Up Appearances (title change, guys, this is better)

Cue Dido's "Here With Me", which begins with the line:
"I didn't hear you leave/
I wonder how I'm still here..."

We pan down onto the funeral. It's a cool but still bright September day. There's no sound, only that haunting Dido song. Everyone has come: lecturers, students, Eddie's friends from London, Charlie's brother, Jack Agamemnon lurking at the back. Sir Charles in his wheelchair. John, Eirion and Tom are three of the pallbearers, John particularly stony faced at the front, his back straight, his mind fixated on the task. Charlie leans on Pru for comfort. The coffin is lowered, the priest makes a blessing. Dirt falls. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.

(At this point, I depressed everyone to the point they didn't even feel like roleplaying any more. Sorry!)

The mourners peel off and head home. We jump cut to a bedroom the next day. The camera pans around, we think it's probably Mirandas. There's a sense of clothes scatter...male and female. Then we pan across a neatly folded pink sweater and a pair of white cotton gloves. Yes, it's Fay's room. And in bed with her is John. He stares at the ceiling and she nervously lies her head on his chest.

There's some awkward questions, as Fay has never done this before, and neither has John, he returns. They try and say it doesn't mean anything and so on. Then Rebecca, fay's roommate, swans in and laughingly announces that Pru is on her way to see John. John panics, pulls his pants on and leaps out the door - right in front of Pru.

"Ah. Givng Fay some private tuition, no doubt?" she asks.
"Yeees..."

Actually I think the joke was better than that. We really need to tape these sessions...

And roll credits!

[thenewgirl]

We think it was "extra-curricular activities", it may have been funnier but we only came second at trivia, so we could be wrong.

thenewgirl & MrMacgregor

[SteveD]

The gang meet up at the breakfast table, the rest unaware of John's actions. They are all eating "sad porridge" as Tom puts it - the porridge you move around in the bowl, pick up and drop back down off the spoon. Charlie moodily crunches bacon. John is having none of it, and tells them off for not eating well when they are warriors still fighting a battle.

After breakfast they meet Pru and the Master in the library. The Master gives his condolences and tells them they have one more week of grace - after that, they must decide if they will resume their studies for Michaelmas term, or defer until the new year. John, he adds, has chosen to work even over this break time they've been given, but there is no need.

Pru also gives her condolences and then says she has a project for them to take their mind off things. She introduces them (after about half an hour of beer slash jokes) to a mundane type, one who can't be told about the supernatural, with a problem. He's the Rector at Keble college and head antiquarian, curator of their world famous sword museum, which posseses 309 swords from around the world. In classic Jonathan Creek fashion, last night they all completely disappeared. A single man was seen on the premises, but how could one man steal 309 swords?

The Crime Club is engaged.
Charlie: Yeah, crime. We know crime.
Tom: I read a Hardy Brothers novel once!

Of course, Pru suspects it might be magical, so Charlie is ready:
Charlie: I'll bring my stick!

At the college, Charlie investigates security
Charlie: I see you use Yale deadbolts, they're good.
Tom: But not as good as Harvard ones.

Eirion and Charlie stay to examine the empty hall, John and Tom go look at security tapes. Of course, this means that John and Tom can see and overhear everything the other two say.

Charlie: That reminds me, John needs to pump Fay for information.
Tom in control room: (spits coffee everywhere) (pause, then without irony as he didn't hear it after all) This is cold!

E&C find tears in the walls and tiny slivers of iron and steel.
Eirion and Charlie start waving their sticks around. Eventually, they end up backs to the camera, bobbing up and down, as Eirion shows Charlie how to hold it.

Eirion: You have to hold it tight. You grab it like this until it jumps around.
John in the camera room puts his hand discretely over the screen. Tom resolutely pushes it aside...

They establish from the porter that a man in a black overcoat was seen leaving.
Eirion: that narrows it down, it's either a flasher or a goth
Tom: or Angel, who's both.

Porter: but one man could never carry all those swords!
Tom: hang on. How big was this coat?

Charlie: He was wearing a hat? What kind of hat?
Porter: A cloth cap.
(everyone looks at Eirion)
Eirion: Look, not everyone from Wales is a thief, alright?

John and Tom find a mysterious figure on the video. When Fay calls, John makes weak excuses and goes off with her to analyse it. They talk briefly about how they have to...keep things quiet, for the moment. Again, the undercurrents are wonderful. Half the time this show works almost entirely in subtext - like Firefly.

Commercial around here.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by SteveD
Charlie: That reminds me, John needs to pump Fay for information.
Tom in control room: (spits coffee everywhere) (pause, then without irony as he didn't hear it after all) This is cold!
:D

[SteveD]

The gang return to the libary to discover John has gone insane - he's made powerpoint slides. Breaking down the images on the video show a figure moving at blinding speed, removing all the swords in one frame. But not fast enough to hide its tall green form and curly, ram-like horns. Time to hit the books...although everyone is still wondering why Fay is sitting in. It's a "when did she get to join the club" moment. John does not see the need to explain, so Charlie tries to welcome her...and interrogate her at the same time.

Charlie: Can you do anything?
Fay: Well...maybe I can help. Can you show me which books to look at?
Charlie: Yes. (beat) Pru, can you show me which books to look at?


Somewhere around here, the actor and all round super cool guy Alan Lourdes (Toby Stephens) returns. He swishes in, flicks his hair, smirks and introduces himself to everyone. Tom sneaks up behind him and is about to hit him with a book, but John shakes his head. Alan turns around suddenly and tom has to quickly pretend to be reading. masterful physical comedy.

Alan again asks to buy the sword, but before he can even finish his spiel though, Tom (and John) say the sword isn't for sale. He hands Tom a cheque for twenty thousand pounds, unsigned, to show his interest. Then he meets Charlie, and is quite taken by her. He asks her out that evening. This relieves Tom as Alan also has his eye on Miranda, maybe. Also, there's a coincidence here, and they might want to follow Alan. Tom and Eirion volunteer, but Charlie points out that Tom should really be with Miranda. Before she finds out Alan is in town...

Back to the books, Charlie thinks out loud.
Charlie: So what do you think about fairies?
Tom: It's a totally valid lifestyle choice.

Meanwhile Eirion has found their target - either a Chinese demon called a scisovore, a snake creature famed for swallowing swords and spears, or an ancient fairie rhyme about the widdershins ("a demon that can only walk left!" says Eirion).

Copper and tin!
Copper and tin!
Copper and tin for the widdershins!

Basically, you have to put some scraps of copper and tin on your porch or in a shrine or the widdershins eats your knives and daggers and pins and needles and maybe your scythe. They're household nuisances though...and they're three feet tall. Seven foot ones which eat 309 swords doesn't fit. But the figure in the video didn't look like a snake-man either.

John meanwhile has left with Fay again. He has essays to write. Tom gets off the net (he was checking out Alan on the IMDB) and makes a statement:

Tom: I've been doing some research on Alan Lourdes, and I've figured it out. He's a werewolf.
Eirion: But we've only got one cage, and tonight is full moon.
Tom: That's okay, they can go in their together. They'll sniff each other's butts and become friends.
Eirion: Say, you don't think John's forgotten do you...?

Commercial.

[SteveD]

(Forgot to mention: The Master also told the gang (actually, he told the boys, old habits die hard) that the will would be dealt with tomorrow. So that's coming up.)

And so begins a strange night...

Alan arrives to pick up Charlie. He takes her to the restaurant at the Randolph Hotel (cnr of Broad and St Giles for those location spotting). He's quite a confident man.

Alan: Order whatever you wish, I'm terribly wealthy.
Charlie: It's so rare to meet a man who doesn't mind bragging about his wealth.

Indeed, he takes confidence to the point of arrogance, managing to flatter Charlie and insult her commonness at once.

Meanwhile, John and Fay have arrived at the same restaurant for their first real date. there's a lot of nervousness, Fay's really excited - she's never been anywhere this nice before. John grabs a menu and asks "what should we order?"

Jump cut (the first of many, this ep was rife with these and they were all genius - every time someone said something which worked for one, we did one) jump cut to Tom saying exactly the same line to Miranda. She sighs and says "I'll have a chicken kebab, with chips."

Pull back, Tom's taken her out to Kebab Kid, the greasy kebab shop across the road from the Randolph. Miranda isn't happy. Sure, she likes kebabs, but they come here every week. The romance has gone from their relationship. She wants to feel special again. Tom thinks. A bubble appears above his head with Charlie in it.

Charlie: Tell her she's pretty...and talk about the view!
Tom (to Miranda in her low cut dress): You've got a really nice view.

Cut to Eirion and Pru. They're waiting at the cage, in their winter woolies. Pru passes the thermos. Eirion wonders if John's forgotten. Pru dials John's mobile. Cut back to the restaurant as John turns his mobile off, for privacy. John tries to tell Fay that he has...familial responsibilities. Fay says she understands, him being a lord and she being common, he can't promise anything and she should just go...John says that's not what he meant, it's just...sometimes he has to...take care of duties. He looks at his hands. The hairs on his fingers are growing.

You need to understand the subtlety and building that Col was doing here, though. It was masterful. He drew it out long and slow, and he communicated his meaning and change so very subtley...again, subtext won the day.

Speaking of subtext, after some name dropping (Alan: The new show is fabulous. In fact I was just telling Bobby yesterday - that's Bobby De Niro - that...) Alan and Charlie start talking about swords...but really they're talking about women and/or sexual prowess. Tom has only one sword, so he's very protective of it. Someone with a lot of money and experience like Alan has many swords...but not so many that a new acquisition isn't a special thing, of course. Indeed, he knows the value of a new acquisition more than anyone. Whereas Tom has no idea how to handle his sword, on the market.

Cut back to John and Fay. John is dizzy, thinks the wine is too strong. Might be ill. Fay is worried. John thinks maybe they should leave. Fay says no, this is a nice place.

Miranda (entering with Tom): See? This is a nice place.

They sit, oblivious to the other two couples. Miranda is smiling, but says they still need to talk about him taking her for granted.

John meanwhile is out of control and takes his only option - he bolts like crazy for the toilet. On his way, he knocks an ice bucket all over Charlie and Alan. Alan demands reparations, lest he sue. Charlie rolls her eyes and chases after John, despite him being in the mens. The toilet attendant simply smiles, nods and says he'll ensure their discretion.

Charlie blocks the door with a chair and steps quietly down to the cubicle John's barricaded himself into, trying to stop the change. His muscles bulge, his fingers grow and shrink, sweat runs down his face. There's a lot of grunting. Guarding the door, the attendant's face twists into one of horror and concern about that man's bowels. John yells in panic: "Get Eddie!"

Charlie calls Pru, who is already on her way. She and Eirion grab an old Watcher cover, the animal retrieval van and white overalls, and head over. Meanwhile Charlie has climbed out the window to be safe, and is trying to keep John calm by telling him to name roses.

Charlie: Lady Jane! Eglantyne! ...the pink one! ....the one without the different facing petals in the middle!

Downstairs, and Eirion try to get past the maitre'd by saying they have a dog on in their bathroom.

Eirion: uh, we're with the Animal Protection........League. We're here to collect a wild dog. We've got a dog truck!

The maitre'd thinks its just a prank and refuses to let them in. Eirion goes around the back to find a way in...just in time to catch Charlie as she, trying to reach the window to the women's toilets, falls. She lands in his arms. There is a moment of contact and eye staring....then an embarassed break.

Inside, Alan is yelling and hammering on the door, demanding answers and trying to solve everything. Tom wonders if it is all some prank.

Eirion climbs up to the window to get John, but he's too late. Flowers don't work. John hulks out BIG. The cubicle door rips off its hinges, the toilet cracks and floods the floor and charges out the main door.

Alan: Now, listen. If you let me handle this, I'm sure I can find a simple solu - (SMACK - he gets hit in the back of the head by the door as John barrells out)

Charlie joins Eirion, standing in the flooded bathroom.
Eirion: Roses didn't work.

Eirion chases after John. Alan is getting back on his feet just as he crashes through the door and Alan goes down again. Eirion finds Pru knocked down at the bottom of the stairs. Passing the maitre'd, Eirion says "Uh...it is a prank. Ha ha." They get in the van and drive. Charlie tells her date off for ruining everything and storms out. Tom tells Miranda he has to go. He finds John's pants in the bathroom, grabs his keys and he and Charlie get in Susan and chase after Pru and Eirion.

Left at the bottom of the stairs, Alan and Miranda both stare out after their dates. Then they glance across at each other. Without a word, Alan sticks out his arm, and Miranda takes it...

Upstairs, the maitre'd is trying to make sense of the carnage the "dog" left behind.

"Oh my god, it took all his clothes off and then it ate him!"

Commercial.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Oh dear.

It must be the shock. Yes.

Oh dear...

[SteveD]

Soon enough, we have a sight very reminiscent of last week: Eirion drives the van and Pru hangs out the window with a dowsing rod.

Pru: No...no..not getting anything. Are you sure this works?
Eirion: (shaking his head) Girls just can't hold the rod...

Soon they've left the city behind and are heading west. Stopping to look for tracks, Eirion figures out exactly where he's going - to Sidbury Hall. They arrive to see him rearing up on the battlements, howling at the moon, with unstoppable rage and pain. John couldn't let it out...but maybe his demon can.

But this can't go on, so Pru asks someone to take him down. Charlie is volunteered. She shoots the tranq gun kinda badly. There's a pause.

Tom: Hey, why does my neck hurt? Oh great.... (and he passes out)

And John begins to run again. They chuck Tom in the back of the van and give chase again. But Charlie is a bad shot and John has a titanic constitution, and he can almost out run the van. After a few shots, Tom wakes up and staggers into the front, just as Charlie misfires and slams him with the butt of the rifle.

Tom: hey, what's going - ow. (and he passes out)

Pru gets sick of learning by doing and grabs the gun. Four dead shots and five minutes later, John goes down with a sad, tired growl. The four drive him home and throw him in his cage. Tom and Charlie head back to the Randolph to try and salvage their dates. They discover Alan and Miranda dancing. Fairly closely, too.

They cut in. Miranda is guilty, flushed, and quick to overcompensate. Tom tells her to stay away from Alan, as he's an asshole. Except he's still tranquilised so it comes out "Heth an ath-owe". Alan is all smooth and says he was merely filling in time until she returned, as he knew she would. Charlie flirts a bit and they dance for a bit. Then she goes home...and waits up for Miranda to return. They have to have words about stealing boyfriends.

And meanwhile, dateless Eirion sits in silent vigil by the cage. Then he hears some sobbing from around the corner of the gameskeeper shed. He walks around to find Fay, crying. She says that John faked being ill and ran away because he's repulsed by her and she's so boring and he's so lovely and so of course he could never want her and WHY DO ALL MEN HATE ME? Eirion comforts her, saying that John has been having a lot of problems since Eddie died, and he just didn't want her to see him break down. Fay is comforted and goes home happy.

Going back around the corner, the moon has gone down and the first lightening of the horizon is coming on, and a naked John sits in the cage again. Eirion passes the thermos and they talk.

John: I don't blame you, you know.
Eirion: Maybe you should.
John: No, it wasn't your fault.
Eirion: It was my problem. And I let it effect everyone. I shouldn't have done that.
John: If I've learnt anything these last two years, it's that sometimes we inherit our problems, and there's nothing we can do about that. I was following the scent of your family, you know. They're still out there.
Eirion: You think you could find them?
John: Do you want me to?

Cut.

An amazing conversation. The dialogue was insanely good and incredibly acted. I had chills.

Oh, and one last scene that was missing at game day, but I'll add it here because it belongs in this episode.

Cut to a place we've never seen - another posh hallway leading to a big oaken door. A figure we see from the back, in a black suit, opens it. He stares in horror. The walls are bare. Every sword rack and hook is empty, display cases smashed, walls torn. The dust marks clearly show that hundreds of blades are missing, vanished. The man can't comprehend it. His mouth opens wide. He grasps at his chest. He grimaces in pain. Then he falls over, dead.

And from the darkness, a shadow coalesces over his back, and there is an inhuman, childlike laugh...

Blackout. Caption: To Be Continued...

Roll credits. The zombie makes the noise John did when he got tranqed to sleepiness. Damn it was funny.

Ah, my first two parter. Thanks to Adrian for coming late, and my players for just taking my idea breadcrumbs and making them into plots all on their own. Marvellous.

Next week: what is in Eddie's will? Will John ever be able to move on? Who is stealing swords, and why? What is Alan Lourdes really after? And will there be more full frontal nudity?

Find out next week, in Keeping Up Appearances, Part Two...

Steve

[Burgonet]

Good episode.

Particularly liked the Eirion-John conversation towards the end.
Both of them have moved on nicely as characters since the series started and I am curious as to why the pair are seeking out Eirion's family.
Is the motive revenge or re-unification? Or both?? Eddie, before his demise, thought it would have been a good thing for Eirion to get in touch with his actual family, despite all the previous nastiness. Although, as this is increasingly seeming like a road-accident idea (with casualties!), I suspect no good will come of it. Yay!

Tom is still being Tom. Whoops, there go three nuns, and all. Getting a clue could be Tom's Season 3 sub-plot, perhaps...

Charlie really needs better men to date. Toby Stephens was obviously the rotter this episode. Although he's managed to get himself killed. By some nasty types... I have a theory, but we'll see how the rest of the seaon pans out. Still, Charlie needs a man of character to date. One who recognises the value of wealth... because he has virtually none of his own! I have no idea who that might be, really!

I felt like I put Old Yeller down (again) when I decided to kill/write Eddie out of the series. Still, looks like you are all capitalising on the changes post funeral, so will continue to read future write ups with an renewed interest that comes with a change of perspective - from player to solely audience.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Nothing. Will Ever. Be The Same. Again!

[thenewgirl]

(extra bits that SteveD forgot and stuff that's important to the player of Charlie- me!)

Charlie and Alan:
Charlie asked Alan if he would show her the sword collection at Keble College, 'cause he was so knowledgable etc.. etc.. THEN he asked her out, for dinner. It would have to have been the worst date ever, as he spent a good deal of their initial time together NOT admiring Charlie at all, and talking about Miranda. *sigh*

Sidbury Hall:
Pru was all for shooting John right away and gave Eirion the rifle, but Charlie argued that he wasn't doing any harm sitting on the ruins and howling at the moon and took the rifle off him. It was only when he found a scent and began to run off that she shot him.
(I just want to be clear that Charlie wasn't very gung-ho about the shooting John thing.)

In Miranda and Charlie's room:
The girls had virtually a word for word echo of the conversation they had about Tom in "Perfect Day".
Charlie meets Miranda, her new roommate. Miranda gets to the point,
Charlie: I saw Tom, he's lovely.
Miranda: Yes. And if you steal him, I will rip your fucking skull off. except this time obviously it's about Alan, and how he is Charlie's..

There was more but I forget.. it was a good game. Everyone was a pretty depressed at the start; it was weird not only for the characters to be without Eddie, but for the players too! (Although we did get some Scott goodness at the start!) :)

Oh, just after the funeral I think it was, Charlie read through the "Colonel X Rides Again" book to see if "The Pink Rider" was there and to make sure he was happy in there.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by thenewgirl
Oh, just after the funeral I think it was, Charlie read through the "Colonel X Rides Again" book to see if "The Pink Rider" was there and to make sure he was happy in there.
Awwww... that's lovely...

[colbabe]

Originally posted by SteveD
The gang return to the libary to discover John has gone insane - he's made powerpoint slides.

On Eddie's laptop.

Just thought I might mention that.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Oh, this just gets sadder and sadder... :(

[colbabe]

Originally posted by SteveD
Jump cut (the first of many, this ep was rife with these and they were all genius - every time someone said something which worked for one, we did one)

We reckoned that, although the writing team was the same, a new director was on the scene. One of those experimental people. ;)

You need to understand the subtlety and building that Col was doing here, though. It was masterful. He drew it out long and slow, and he communicated his meaning and change so very subtley...again, subtext won the day.

Oh, you flatterer.

[colbabe]

Originally posted by SteveD
An amazing conversation. The dialogue was insanely good and incredibly acted. I had chills.

Yeah, that was really excellent. That just all came out, no interruptions, no rewrites. I think we've really got a hold of these characters now.

[colbabe]

Originally posted by SALette
...I am curious as to why the pair are seeking out Eirion's family.
Is the motive revenge or re-unification? Or both??

You'll find out soon enough. :) Jody specifically asked for the session to end before Eirion could answer the question. Hey audience, is the curiosity beginning to hurt yet? :D

[Craig Oxbrow]

Yes. Ouch.

[Heronymus]

Originally posted by colbabe
You'll find out soon enough. :) Jody specifically asked for the session to end before Eirion could answer the question. Hey audience, is the curiosity beginning to hurt yet? :D

Shut up and play, bitch.

SteveD and The Gang, you're my heroes.

(Of course, I will never again be able to make a reference to this game without hearing Kool and The Gang in my head...)

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by thenewgirl
There was more but I forget.. it was a good game. Everyone was a pretty depressed at the start; it was weird not only for the characters to be without Eddie, but for the players too! (Although we did get some Scott goodness at the start!) :)

Oh, just after the funeral I think it was, Charlie read through the "Colonel X Rides Again" book to see if "The Pink Rider" was there and to make sure he was happy in there.

Aww...

:p

Although I was mortally afraid the 'beersex' skit would destroy the sombre mood of the session. I had no idea where that came from!

Nice touch checking on Eddie's alter ego. I'm sure he's happy wrasslin' cattle and eat'n the fine pie of his good wife Susan.

:p

Okay, I need to find an outlet for this crude humour I developed while playing Eddie. Crude humour levels building... need... release.

Somebody stop me, please.

:rolleyes:

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by colbabe
On Eddie's laptop.

Just thought I might mention that.

Don't make me come back from the dead to slap some sense into you!

....

Although, if you start hanging out at the right clubs... I approve.
After all, being dead harly excludes one from continuing one's reputation.

;)

[thenewgirl]

Okay, I need to find an outlet for this crude humour I developed while playing Eddie. Crude humour levels building... need... release.

Somebody stop me, please.

:rolleyes:
Nah. Go ahead!

You know you want to!:D

[BethDragon]

*catches up* Ooooooo..... _Nice_ episode! (And I think the Angel crack is high on my fave list. ^^ ) Man, wish you guys played more often!!! And yes, the curiosity is hurting.

Beth, who would also like to chip in money for the fund to get Charlie together with a certain character man...I mean, man of character, yeah, that's it...

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by BethDragon
*catches up* Ooooooo..... _Nice_ episode! (And I think the Angel crack is high on my fave list. ^^ ) Man, wish you guys played more often!!! And yes, the curiosity is hurting.

Beth, who would also like to chip in money for the fund to get Charlie together with a certain character man...I mean, man of character, yeah, that's it...

I hear that men of character have a Cornish farmer's Dinner set, somewhere in their meagre but sensible collection of personable assets.

;)

[SteveD]

I didn't know if the Miranda thing happened, or if it was happening next week, so I left it out.

I also wasn't sure if the Pink Rider thing happened on stage.

But yes, it was Eddie's laptop. And Eddie's car John was driving.

Although he's managed to get himself killed. By some nasty types... I have a theory, but we'll see how the rest of the seaon pans out.

Almost consistently, Scott's theories have been wrong. You're even wrong about Alan Lourdes being dead. Not that I'm complaining - I like that I keep y'all guessing.

Oh man, what you don't know....it makes me giggle.

Steve

[Burgonet]

So, are you lot playing this coming weekend, or in two weekends time as per normal?

[thenewgirl]

This weekend! We couldn't wait to finish the two-parter!:)

*Charlie looks at her feet and realises she is standing on some railroad tracks.... *

hmmmmmm

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by thenewgirl
This weekend! We couldn't wait to finish the two-parter!:)

*Charlie looks at her feet and realises she is standing on some railroad tracks.... *

hmmmmmm

Good oh.

Still, at least this way, you'll get to see the train coming.

Much better than other forms of Death Trap(tm).

;)

[Jody Macgregor]

Originally posted by SALette
I hear that men of character have a Cornish farmer's Dinner set, somewhere in their meagre but sensible collection of personable assets.
I have no idea who or what you speak of :)

Although Eirion did sneak off to read 'Colonel X Rides Again' with Charlie while they were supposed to be researching. He now knows more about Pru than he really wants to, but the Pink Rider does seem happy.

[thenewgirl]

SteveD and The Gang, you're my heroes.
Does this mean I need to start wearing pink?
you know.. like all gang members on that other thread....

ah forget it....

[BethDragon]

Originally posted by SALette
I hear that men of character have a Cornish farmer's Dinner set, somewhere in their meagre but sensible collection of personable assets. ;)
Hmm...good for an impromptu picnic. Or a dinner for two on a rooftop under the stars....

^^

Beth

[dalziel_86]

Originally posted by SteveD
John hulks out BIG. The cubicle door rips off its hinges, the toilet cracks and floods the floor and charges out the main door.
Just as HulkJohn barreled past, and Tom got up to follow him, he turned to Miranda and said, "This is not a nice place." :)

[Burgonet]

I think it needs a cumback... (http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?s=&postid=2190724#post2190724)

[Unregistered steve d]

We definitely have to play next week, as the week after is Easter and may screw things up.

Meanwhile, I can't believe I forgot Tom's line - I even remembered the feed line.

As for Eirion and Charlie, let me quote Col, John's player:

"Hey, I had to wait a series and a half to get my girlfriend! You two can't just jump into bed!"

Expect it to be long and painful. cos you love it.

Steve

[BethDragon]

Originally posted by Unregistered steve d
As for Eirion and Charlie, let me quote Col, John's player:

"Hey, I had to wait a series and a half to get my girlfriend! You two can't just jump into bed!"

Expect it to be long and painful. cos you love it.
Awww... Well, yeah, expected it to take a while. It _is_ Buffy after all. (Anyone have Tragic Love? ^^ )

And there is a difference tween getting a girl and sex! :) Eirion could get Charlie and no horizontalness need happen for a while.

Beth, hopeless matchmaker.

[thenewgirl]

I wouldn't be counting any chickens, Jody and I have plans of our own for the characters!;)

[The Architect]

At the risk of encouraging longer delays between episodes, I have to say it was worth the wait.

[BethDragon]

TNG & Jody - :p Spoilsports!

Beth

[SteveD]

Beth, you think that's bad, they won't even tell me what they're planning!

And John has Tragic Love. Poor, poor Fay....

Arch - huh? This was another two weeker, same as the whole second series.

Steve

[colbabe]

Originally posted by SteveD
Beth, you think that's bad, they won't even tell me what they're planning!

I've just CCed you an e-mail with some dastardly stuff. Muahahahaha! Well, actually, it's not all that malevolent.

And John has Tragic Love. Poor, poor Fay....

:D :( :) (This is me having mixed emotions about Fay's fate. I deserve it though, I took the Drawback, and I have to pay for it. Let me just put this to everyone out there in TVland: Fay doesn't know about the demon half yet...)

Arch - huh? This was another two weeker, same as the whole second series.

I think Arch knows that. Two weeks is still a long time for fans. Still, thank you Arch and Beth and Heronymus and everyone for being wonderful fans.

[SteveD]

Let me just put this to everyone out there in TVland: Fay doesn't know about the demon half yet....

How DO you break that to a girl?

Steve

[The Architect]

Originally posted by SteveD
Arch - huh? This was another two weeker, same as the whole second series.

Steve

How odd. Seemed longer. Damnable anticipation.

[thePill]

Originally posted by SteveD
------------------------------------------
Let me just put this to everyone out there in TVland: Fay doesn't know about the demon half yet....
---------------------------------------
How DO you break that to a girl?

Steve
I've got a couple of things to do 'til tomorrow. Oh, I've written it down somewhere.

Let's see, I've got to pick up John and take him to pick up a couple of books for class, drive him back to his dorm, get some metal polish and a couple of toadstools from the magic shop for Prue, go lock myself in a cage for the night, turn into a demon thing, bay at the moon, and then hurry back for a shower in the morning, and a quick cram session for that quiz tomorrow afternoon, before meeting you for breakfast.

What have you got to do 'til tomorrow?

[thenewgirl]

WOOT!

Another excellent epsiode- with sadness and twists and more disasterous dates!
:D

[Elemental]

Originally posted by SteveD
How DO you break that to a girl?

Steve

"Hey, baby, I'm a demon in the sack...no, it's not a metaphor...." :p

[Burgonet]

Look forward to reading the write up in time.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Now you know how we feel. Sorry dude.

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
Now you know how we feel. Sorry dude.

I find human emotions highly illogical.

ermm... Captain.

;)

[SteveD]

This week's episode would have made Craig's head explode...except he already knew about the twist.

But those of you near Beth might want to, I don't know, put on some goggles or something.

:)

Tonight, I promise.

Steve

[colbabe]

All I can say is: Darn that pesky Tragic Love drawback.

Oh, and: Thank you Scott for the added material in this ep. This should last us a few seasons more at least.

[The Architect]

Something just occured to me.

It's the 21st century. Why aren't the Watchers teaching Prentices and Slayers to use spear guns instead of crossbows?

They're more efficient, easier to conceal, more common and a touch less likely to get you weird looks if someone sees you with one.

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by colbabe
All I can say is: Darn that pesky Tragic Love drawback.

Oh, and: Thank you Scott for the added material in this ep. This should last us a few seasons more at least.

Season 4 for at least one of the threads, I reckon.

;)

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by The Architect
Something just occured to me.

It's the 21st century. Why aren't the Watchers teaching Prentices and Slayers to use spear guns instead of crossbows?

They're more efficient, easier to conceal, more common and a touch less likely to get you weird looks if someone sees you with one.

Easy to answer.

There is a Watcher Oligarchy in the Buffyverse, which own a sizable 85% of the tree farms and crossbow factories necessary in the creation, production and distribution of crossbows.

I understand a rival faction is trying to bring these new-fangled spear guns in... but are struggling in anything beyond a niche.

:)

[thenewgirl]

Originally posted by colbabe
Oh, and: Thank you Scott for the added material in this ep. This should last us a few seasons more at least.
Yeah! You managed to depress all our characters thoroughly and give us plot without even being there in person!
:)

[SteveD]

Spearguns are not PROPER. They're unseemly, unwieldly and well, American.

I mean, we're talking about an English society that has existed in its current form since the thirteenth century. Consider the fact that every year, Magdelen college gives the Oxford town council 4 shillings to pay for straw in the castle prisons. The castle burned down in the Reformation.

Now, what was this about change and the modern Watcher?

Steve

[The Architect]

There's a difference between respecting tradition and being hidebound. Especially in the case of an (ostensibly) secret society dedicated to training a select few to defend humanity from what would threaten it, while preventing the bulk of humanity from discovering it was ever at risk to begin with.

Crossbows are obvious (threatening the secrecy of the mission) and obsolete (threatening the success of the mission). For an organisation that is so pragmatic about its members (and charges), you would think they would be more practical in their methods.

The Watchers really need a modernizing influence in its membership.

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by The Architect
*SNIP*
The Watchers really need a modernizing influence in its membership.

It's a game where far sillier things are real; ie. Magic and Monsters.

It's a fashion statement.
I honestly don't see any problem.

Now... onto the matter at hand... what happened this session?

[Mortality]

Originally posted by The Architect
The Watchers really need a modernizing influence in its membership. Well, the watcher in the game I'm running is a robot. That good enough for you?

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by Mortality
Well, the watcher in the game I'm running is a robot. That good enough for you?

Is it a good, or evil, Robot Us'es?

;)

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by SteveD
This week's episode would have made Craig's head explode...except he already knew about the twist.
I have my own game (and life) for head explodey.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by SALette
Now... onto the matter at hand... what happened this session?
Hear hear!

[SteveD]

How exactly is a speargun concealable?

And have you used a modern crossbow? They're pretty reliable and sturdy, and have heaps of penetration. Accuracy not so much but I bet they reload faster than a speargun. On account of using quarrels, not spears.

Episode? What episode?


Oh riiiiiight....

[SteveD]

Not the greatest of sessions. Tiredness in both GM and players. A lack of Eddie depression and a distinct missing of Scott. :( I was resting on my laurels a bit after last week. THing about two parters is you can't just pick up where you left off. Because writing for act 3 is totally different from writing for act 1 and 2 of next week. I didn't have enough act 1 and 2 stuff going on (because 3 was going to be peppered with date and hulking out chaos) so it dragged a bit. It climaxed very well though, which is good, and prompted many jokes about me climaxing.

Me: I'm building to a narrative climax.
Col: So Steve - do you ever fake your narrative climaxes?

The Carry On spirit was with us again, as we went from waggling sticks to spraying cream. We once planned to do a Carry On episode, but we don't need to. Although it was almost Benny Hill this ep, which was so very wrong...

Anyway....

[Random Nerd]

Originally posted by SteveD
But those of you near Beth might want to, I don't know, put on some goggles or something.


If you cause Beth's head to explode, I hope you at least have the decency to put a tarp down first, mister!

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by SteveD
Not the greatest of sessions. Tiredness in both GM and players. A lack of Eddie depression and a distinct missing of Scott. :(

I'm not dead yet!!

:)

Cheer up! You're affecting my Shiatsu!

:)

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by SteveD
Episode? What episode?


Oh riiiiiight....
I endeavour to look patient.

[dalziel_86]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
I endeavour to look patient.
I don't. I have Mozilla Firefox set to reload this page every thirty seconds. :D

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
I endeavour to look patient.

You want me to Shaitsu you while we wait...?

You look tense....

;)

[SteveD]

2.7 Keeping Up Appearances Part Two

After a brief discussion about "slashfact" (the opposite of slash fiction) we come in on Pru's study (not often seen). John stands to attention, having been called on carpet. Pru takes him to task for endangering himself, endangering the secrecy of his heritage, endangering the secrecy of the supernatural and endangering the very watcher's council itself! Not to mention the risk to innocent people. She tells him he's lost concentration and she'll be checking up more from now on. John breaks down and tells Pru about Eddie being his brother. Pru melts in a moment and clutches him to her bosom.

Then she also tells him not to endanger poor naive Fay with his advances, and demands that he be gentlemanly and honourable. She'll help him tell her about his condition if and when it becomes the right time. John says thank you. He is dismissed. Roll credits.

At breakfast, Miranda is suddenly closer to Tom, and Charlie is talking to Fay. Charlie checks if Fay still wants to come to London for their girl's day out.

Fay: Would John be coming?
Charlie: Well....see, he's not really a girl.
Fay: (big happy sigh, eyes in the distance) Yeah....he's really not...

Fay is still worried about John, and how to get close to him.

Fay: What does he like?
Charlie: I don't really know...
Fay: But does he like me?
Charlie (sees John standing behind Fay with a bunch of white roses): Oh I think he definitely likes you. And uh, now, I have to go...and do...a thing...

They have a very amusing and very nervous conversation about meeting later, after Fay's 10am tutorial session. For lunch, or something. Fay skips off as Pru comes bustling in. Round up the troops, something has happened. John has a tray full of breakfast and looks dismayed. Eirion comes in after mucking out John's cage and is equally annoyed at missing breakfast.

Last night, someone at the Ashmolean museum was checking on their extensive sword collection and found them all gone. He instantly died of a heart attack from the shock. It's all over the papers, and some bright spark also broke the Keble robbery story. Art thieves don't make big news but it's a national tragedy. The gang speculate:

Charlie: Wait a minute. Why do all these people keep checking on their swords? Who checks their sword collection in the middle of the night?
John: You're not a boy.

Reading further they discover it wasn't quite the middle of the night.

Charlie: Oh, it was only eight pm.
Tom: Well, that's practically the middle of the night
Charlie: Especially for English people
John: Yes, it's past Second Horlicks Time.

The gang worry about Tom's sword:

Charlie: Maybe you should sleep with your sword
(Tom reacts with confusion)
Charlie: Just tie it to your leg or something!
Pru: He can't do that, do you know how big it is?
(Tom crosses his legs)
Charlie: But then someone can't grab it in the night!
(Tom crosses his legs the other way)

Possibly the thieves might target Alan's collection, or he might have something to do with it. Charlie has a plan:

Charlie: Maybe I could ask Alan is I could see his swords?
Eirion: (a bit too loudly and forcefully) No!

Pru also announces that they have to go to the reading of the will at 11am - the time John is meeting Fay. Despite needing to make a plan, John goes off to meet Fay anyway. Charlie stands by the phone.

Charlie: I'm going to ring Alan. No I'm not. Yes I am.

Finally she picks up the phone and dials. He's delighted to hear from her.

Charlie: I was wondering if I could see your sword collection. I like swords.
Alan: Well of course you do.

Pru tells Charlie to be careful, as the man probably only wants one thing from her. She then frets about John rushing into things and getting carried away. Charlie assures her its fine.

Cut to John sitting like a puppy dog outside Fay's tut room, watching the clock. It's 10.23 am. When he looks at the clock again, it is still 10.23am. He shakes his watch and listens to it.

Commercial.

[dalziel_86]

And in the ad-break:

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[SteveD]

You're going to hate me.

The next scene is the reading of the will, and dammit, I left the text at work. And it should be in here.

And I'm tired.

I'll write it in breaks at work tomorrow and post it by the afternoon.

But it does include the line:

Tom: Hey, everybody else got money and property! All I got was nudie cards!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by SALette
You want me to Shaitsu you while we wait...?

You look tense....

;)
I always look like this. :(

[SteveD]

Well, my players have come through, so let's crank this baby up again.

John meets Fay for a quick chat and then they go to the will reading. As in Fay comes too. The gang are a bit confused, and Pru can't stop scowling with worry.

Eddie's will is as follows:

This is the Last Will and Testament of Edward Hunton-Smythe



I hereby revoke all former wills and testamentary disposition made by me, and by this last will I do hereby give, devise and bequeath all my real and personal estate in the following manner.



To John Talbot; I bequeath the following moneys, items, assets and sundry notary-



My Rolls Royce motor vehicle, registration [rego and other details here]

Investment portfolio #817; as managed by Windsor, Tudor and Associates, London. [estimated value 50 million pounds].

Personal effects and assets as located in Oxford residence, with exception as bequeathed to other recipients.

Antique collection as located upon the Hunton-Smythe estate; Coventry, England. Includes artwork, weaponry, personal library and other valuable collectables. [Estimated appraised value 20 million pounds].



To Thomas ; I bequeath the following moneys, items, assets and sundry notary-



A collection of late Victorian era playing cards with risqué and lurid poses from naked ladies on each.



To Eirion; I bequeath the following moneys, items, assets and sundry notary-



Arrangements to continue your bursary supplement have been made.

The fund is to be managed by Windsor, Tudor and Associates, London; with the specifics of this arrangement to be discussed with you on my behalf at a future time suitable to you.

Upon reaching graduation from Oxford, the remainder of the fund is bequeathed to you.



To Charlie; I bequeath the following moneys, items, assets and sundry notary-



Part ownership of the Underground; public venue at the Goods Yard

London N1, United Kingdom. Details of this ownership are detailed in a separate document, to be part owned with her brother James.



This hereby ends the reading of this will.

In witness whereof I have hereunto set my hands this day, [date given].



Signed by the above name; Edward Hunton-Smythe: _________________


In the presence of us, who at the same time in the presence of him, and in the presence of others have hereunto subscribed our names as witnesses:

Charles Hunton-Smythe, [address given]: _________________

Prudence Price, [address given]: _________________

[SteveD]

A letter is attached to the will. Pru reads it out, and makes it the whole way through with only a few sniffles in her section.

The estate of edward hunton-smythe

Last updated: 20th of August, 1999

To the my fellows of the Watcher Academy,
Oxford, Oxfordshire
England.

To All Here Present,
If you are reading this, then I have met with an unfortunate end.
I hope that in reading this, all of you are otherwise alive and well.
I apologise for not being with you at this time, but due to circumstances most likely beyond my control you have been brought here today to hear these words.


Know that it has been a pleasure to have worked and served with each of you. I thought I’d take the time to say in words that which I’ve not had the chance, perhaps, to say in life.

To John – You were always like a brother to me; it shall be hard to imagine an afterlife without you. When you first became drawn into this murky, sublime world that is ours, I had my doubts. I feared that my childhood friend would find himself destroyed by what he experienced and saw.

Fortunately, I was proved to be quite wrong on this. You’ve thrived in this secretive, pressure-cooker environment and have proved yourself capable time and time again. I’ve no doubt you’ll go on to do great things. I only hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for the injustice I did you last year and in turn I hope that I in death can find peace within myself for my actions. I will miss you in death most of all.

Eirion – Our time in London was oddly a godsend. Despite the fact that we were perhaps over our heads, I’ll always treasure that time the most. For I realised that although we came from very different backgrounds, we had similar outlooks on life. That said always remember to stay true to yourself. Listen to your own heart Eirion but remember that part of a measure of a man is his judgement of other people as well as how he himself is judged.

Tom – I never really knew you. We served alongside each other, studied together. But I never knew you. I suspect this is because you do not know yourself. Get to know yourself, before it is too late! I’m not sure whether your emotional distance is an act you put on to compensate for your sense of alienation, or a reflection of a genuine gulf you have in your own heart. If there is one thing I have learned in the past year and some more in knowing you, it is that one should not be afraid to express your feelings and identity to others. Dare to be yourself!

Charlie – I sadly am writing this, only having known you for a week and a little more. I wish I’d had a chance to get to know you better and indeed I look forward to updating this letter in its next instalment. My initial impressions of you are quite positive. Although you should be aware that John, Eirion and Tom are all very awkward around you – very awkward. For reasons you can no doubt surmise! For now however I am glad that I had a chance to meet and get to know you, if only for a short time.

Prue – Ma’am, what can I say about you that will do you any justice? We haven’t always seen eye to eye, but you’ve always been there when I needed you. I am sorry to have left this world before you but know in your heart that you were my mother, in spirit. Stay well, Ma’am!

In closing, I am reminded by the words of Emily Dickinson, who wrote:

‘Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.

We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.’

I shall miss you all.
Your friend,
“Eddie”
Edward Hunton-Smythe

[dalziel_86]

Ad-break:

<center>Tommy Lee Jones Alan Rickman

What happens when the source of life...

...becomes the source of death?

TLJ: The sun is crashing into LA!


<b>VOLCANO 2:
Solar Impact</b>


Space Is A Harsh Mistress</center>

[SteveD]

Also included from Eddie's files are some notes to individuals. These are read out in voice over but not revealed to the whole group:

(To Charlie)
[written note]
Charlie,

There’s something you should know. Your brother and I are close. We met soon after you and I did, that weekend away in London at the FsoL ‘Paralstasis’ gig.

We became ‘friends’ (a nice way of putting it) at first but in a few weeks I think, and perhaps being presumptuous about it, more than just ‘friends’. James is currently having some ‘issues’ (to put it mildly) at the moment in coming out – he’s at that delicate age.

I’ve done what I can to help him deal with these resulting issues but he will need your help in ‘coming out’, so to speak. And no, I didn’t corrupt him! This isn’t a disease we gentlemen have, it’s a calling.

I’m including this note as an addendum to this damned macabre ‘will and testiwank’ letter. If all goes well, we’ll have this conversation in the flesh soon enough, and I’ll be able to tear this thing up and speak to you directly. Much the preference, dear lady!

-Eddie.

(To Eirion)
[printed note – I’d send it as email if Eirion knew what a computer was!]
E-
I’ve received word from Jackie the Greek a rumour that the terrible Woluf is again stalking the streets of London. I’ve included here his contact details. He says it’s urgent – but take everything Jackie says with a grain of salt. I think there’s more to Mister Woluf that meets the eye. I suspect there may be more than one.
-E

(To John)
[unsent email]
John,
I’ve been doing some research into your condition. I am not entirely sure as to the validity of the claims, and will have to do some further research and perhaps in turn I am being quite preliminary in raising this.

But I think I may have found a cure – well, more the source of your condition. I’ll discuss the details with you next week, right after the ‘Father-Son’ week. I’m really worried about Father, he’s becoming both more ill, and more aggressive. There was something in his voice on the phone last night. What the hell is going on in our fucked up family?

Yours,
Edward Hunton-Smythe
queereyeonthewatch@oxford.edu.uk
“I am young enough to know everything!”
Paraphrasing Oscar Wilde

[SteveD]

The mood (in and out of game) is sombre. Pru suggests they get back on the case to cheer up...but once again John has gone off with Fay. They go to the botanical gardens and hold each other for a while.

Attending the Ashmolean, the team find things much the same as at the last scene. Eventually though, they find a spot of blood in the body outline. Chest height. Not symptomatic of a heart attack.

At the morgue, Charlie uses her +4 hawtness to distract the geeky body pusher (he takes her into his office to show her his slides of dead bodies) and the others scurry past doing the scooby doo walk. Confirmed: a puncture wound to the chest. Reviewing the chart finds something metallic lodged in the left ventricle which may have exacerbated the attack. John tries to probe the wound for fibres and totally muffs it.

John: (off Tom's expression) What?
Tom: Nothing, I'm just waiting for his nose to light up.

They creep back, motion to Charlie to keep going with the distraction. Tom climbs a drain pipe and nicks the sample they took from the wound and the X-ray of the chest and shimmies down again. Col bursts into the office as the geek is asking Charlie out and tells her that she has to come immediately - it's a Crime Club Emergency! SOMEONE STOLE THE "E" FROM THE PARKS ROAD SIGN!

This is an Oxford in-joke as Parks Road has no E....

Back in the library, Tom waves his stick over the X-ray. Pru explains again that they detect large geographical magic concentrations like the barrier. Meanwhile, Eirion suggests it might be elf shot. Tom is confused.

Tom: That makes no sense. They're too big to fit in those tiny glasses.

John and Tom take the metal fibres to the lab girl they went to last series for an analysis. (I forget when and why, but Tom failed his charisma roll and she demanded payment up front) Upon seeing Tom, she repeated the same line: Twenty pounds. She took the bit of metal and moved it onto a slide with her finger - which is then cut very deeply. John sitting outside says:

John: I hope she remembers him. (Sudden sharp scream) Ah, she does remember him...

Charlie and Eddie, meanwhile, sit in the back of the stacks for some hot stack action. That is to say, they are reading everything in the library on fairies which is...not much. Not much that isn't legend, hearsay and vague reports. Compared to demons, these things are ciphers, never ca