FUSION: Writing Challenge/Sgt. Storn's Bootcamp

[Lord Iron Wolf]

To the Writers of the Group,

This is the assignment for the Fusion exersize between the two creative sides of this board. Use the Spycraft d20 system to describe the second part of the writing exersize. This assignment is due on August 19, 2002; any earlier or later and it will not be evaluated!!!

See Writing Challenge II to get the background for Zeppelin Krieg. This assignment is to be an action sequence with a cliff-hanger ending. In the second part of the assignment, you are to describe the action in game terms to show a referee how to apply the rules to a scenario.

On to the description of the Action Piece:

Part I: In the wilds of the Amazon Jungles, the Agents the Dragon-Eagle Throne have set up an advanced base in their initial invasion of the League of the Americas. Hearing this through Jungle Telegraph, Dakota Johnny has contacted Virginia Sweet Bird and arranged to sabatoge the forward camp of the Germans and Chinese.

The red-headed American and the half-amazon indian/european girl have managed to infiltrate and plant bombs in sections of the airfield. During the escape they have been discovered by the local tribe of savages (allies to the Dragon-Eagle throne) and they are in pursuit. Dakota Jonney has been hit by a blowgun dart tipped with curare poison--it is affecting his strength and coordination. Virginia Sweet Bird has to help him along.

Dakota Johnny is armed with a pair of Colt .45 peacemakers. Virginia Sweet Bird is armed with a 1911 Colt A1, both have fired several shots.

It's two miles to the river and a concealed float plane. If the savages catch them first they will be tortured and interrogated under drugs to give up information and then turned over the the savages--and they are cannibals!!!

Part II of this assigment is to describe the action piece you wrote in game terms of both characters and combat.

You are getting two weeks to allow you to balance the two together. The pair of them should provide the referee with a scenario and also clear up how to run an action sequence.

You have 1,000 words to play with for Part I and 300 words to describe the action in game terms.
---------------------------------------------

To the Artists of the Group;

For the Artists this is to be a full page plate to be a frontpiece for this section. It should scream action and danger.

Dakota Johnny is dressed in calvery boots, jodhpur pants, open shirt, a flying jacket, and has a gunbelt with a pair of Colt .45 peacemakers. He has been hit by a dart in one arm. The drug is starting to sap his strength and coordinaltion.

Virginia Sweet Bird is dressed as a native woman and is in that dress. One incongruity is the cross necklace she has, a gift to her from the missionary couple who took her in as a child and raised her. Although bare breasted, try to minimize or conceal the aureoles and nipples due to our target age group.

The near background is a crude airfield hacked out of the jungle. Various shacks and native huts serve as offices, hangers and quarters. Far background will be the immense trees of the jungle.

The Germans and Chinese are in their own uniforms but should have accents of each other: dragon sash upon the germans, pickle helmet upon the chinese--see what you can come up with. They are armed with modern weapons and swords.

The savages should be naked except for a breechclout. They are painted and wear feathers in their hair--avoid the north american indian look. Their weapons are blowguns or bows and arrows.

In the distant skies there may be a zeppelin and/or thunderhead clouds.

Try to keep a single focal point in the picture. I'm expecting a highly finished pencil/Ink Wash or Pen/brush and ink for the finished piece.

This second part is strictly dependant upon Storn's approval. He will give the okay modify or veto any part of the art description.

Have Fun,

Lord Iron Wolf

...and now Storn please interpretate this to what you want to see and the wording of an AD. ;)

[MetalMan]

Assuming that Storn doesn't change anything - this will be useful to anyone needing a good source for the pickelhaube or "pickle helmet" (the spiked helmet).

http://www.kaisersbunker.com/pe/pe.htm

Ironically enough, they pretty much disappeared from active German service c.1915 - but hey - this is fantasy afterall - they made a comeback. :)

The rest of the site is a goldmine for anyone needing historical German WWI reference - so don't only just look at the page that I linked!

[quozl]

Are we making up our own rules for this or did you have a specific ruleset in mind?

---Jon

[Storn]

Originally posted by quozl
Are we making up our own rules for this or did you have a specific ruleset in mind?

---Jon

I believe that the system is Spycraft (a free download is available at AEG, I think) and it is a d20 game.


OK, onto the art. I think LIW did a great job of describing what was needed. This is a big project, budget your time carefully. A lot of time is going to be needed to handle all the detail.

If you want an extra challenge, have V Sweet Bird using Thompson SMG .45 instead of the pistol. That is one of the most difficult firearms to depict correctly, IMO, due to its really interesting stock and handle curves, the fact that the "breech" area is slightly sloping to the barrel and is not parallel.

You wouldn't get this from an Art Director, but since this is a teaching thing as well, you'll get a tip from me.

Due to the amount of figures involved, the amount of detail and elements... Overlap is your friend. If you can, look at Hal Foster's battle scenes (Prince Valiant) and see how he handles overlap. Really study how figures can still "read" even when partially obstructed from the "camera/viewer".

Also, really think about camera angle. It is a vertical piece, most RPG games are going to have a full page illo at 8x10 final size. A long horizontal is just not going to work in the format of the book, even though I can think of many illo "solutions" that would call for a long horizontal.

Remember, I need to see pencils good enough to go to finals. That means scribbly thumbnails are not acceptable. YOu should probably do a few scribbly thumbnails to work out where you are going to put your elements... but a pro working relationship between A.D. and freelancers doesn't have thumbnail coordination all that often (it does happen on logos and particularly hard projects, like covers though... just not on interiors)


Lastly, have fun!!!

[MetalMan]

Originally posted by Storn

OK, onto the art. I think LIW did a great job of describing what was needed. This is a big project, budget your time carefully. A lot of time is going to be needed to handle all the detail.

LIW specifically mentioned Aug. 19th for the writing sample but didn't give a time for the artists. When would you like to see the pencils?

[Storn]

Oh, sorry... lets see pencils on August 19th. Finals will be two weeks after that.

[jerO]

gah.... too ... much... gencon... work... ;)

*wishes this assignment sounded easier*.

i'll try to give it a shot.
jerO

[Sleeper]

Is the writing portion supposed to be based on the Lite version of Spycraft (at http://www.spycraftrpg.com/resources/index.html)?

Until Storn mentioned that Spycraft was available on the web, I assumed the contest was only open to people who went out and bought a copy.

-Pat

[dalziel_86]

Just curious about the writing part:

So, am I to understand you want our two heroes to confront the overwhelming odds of the German/Chinese soldiers and the savages, and NOT just beat a strategic retreat (aka run like funk)into the jungle?

Also, I take it you want the rulesy stuff to be something like an example of play, yes?


Woohoo! 200 posts!

[Samurai]

Hmmm, my picture has them on the run from the enemies... that is the feeling I got. However, once the soldiers have been drawn into the jungle, the heroes can ambush them a few at a time. The Jungle Men, used to the environment, may be more trouble though...

[MetalMan]

Originally posted by Samurai
The Jungle Men, used to the environment, may be more trouble though...


That's one interpretation of it... Mine is going for a more pulpish feel where hordes of spear-carrying natives can be held off with a single gun as they recklessly charge headlong into the withering fire laid down by our heroes. :)

Oh well... enough talk ... more drawing! I've still got huts and a jungle to draw in!

[MetalMan]

Here are my pencils. Thanks to my less-than-adequate scanner a lot of the more subtle pencil shading (especially on the Dakota Johnny figure) didn't show through even at 600dpi. Still, this should at least give you an idea of the composition that I'm going for.

[David Goodner]

Sadly, once again I don't have time to play.

Happily, it's because once again I need to be working on something for which I can get paid. (and I don't have the energy to learn Sypcraft)

Hope ya'll have fun.

David G.

[Mock]

Likewise, nothing from me this time. I spent the last couple weeks preparing for a move to a new house (moved Saturday...thank God that's over), and didn't have the time to commit (and didn't want to try to do anything last minute). Good luck everyone; looking forward to lurking about and seeing your work!

-Chris

[Samurai]

Well, despite being quite busy, I decided to stay up late a few nights and sketch this out... I'm not entirely sure I'll have time to finish it, but I'll try.

Self-analysis:

Needs more guys on the ground chasing them, I know.

They are both looking toward the "camera" instead of behind them at the explosion. You can say they are focused on getting out of there, but my original intention was to add some natives in the foreground blocking their escape. The camera angle makes this a bit hard, though, as it is too low for an over-the-shoulder shot and too high for a between-the-legs shot... Might still do it somehow, or might turn his face and gun and point them back at the enemy... if you think it is needed at all. They might just be intent on getting the heck outta there...

The villains on gliders were my idea, and were not stated as existing in the rules. They are easily removable if needed, though it will leave the sky rather empty...

I made the girl black. Again, this may contradict the story. However, I remembered that thread a while back about increasing racial diversity in your art, and while I draw lots of whites and asians (and occasionally American Indians), I couldn't remember the last time I included a black person in a drawing, so I went ahead and claimed artistic license... Oh, I also gave her a matching top... kids might read this thread... :)

Edit: Just noticed that he is supposed to have a Peacemaker... I'll change that before the final... I knew the number 45, and I though a 45 Automatic was a bit modern looking, but it was supposed to be the 1930s or 40s...

I'm interested in seeing everyones' different takes on this scene... Nice job on yours, Metalman!

[MetalMan]

Originally posted by Samurai
... Nice job on yours, Metalman!


Thanks Samurai - you just made me look like a chump though ;)

I only wish I could draw as good as you can!

C'mon guys - some of you must have something done for the art other than us two! This one was too fun to pass up not working on it.

[Bluemage]

Hmm, the 19th today already. Drat. When I'd gotten a chance to write lately, I was working on finishing up my own story, and completely forgot about this. Although, hopefully, I'll actually have a chance to play some D&D IRL soon, so I'll be able to get more familiar with the whole D20 thing, which was one of the other things that kept me from this a little.

[Storn]

Ok, first one, here we go!

You sure jammed a lot of info into this drawing. Great try! However, there are some things that aren't quite working. But first, let me say what I do like.

1) The native in the foreground, clutching his chest as he was running forward. Great motion, great storytelling.

2) The cross covering up her nipple. If that won't give the conservatives in this country fits, I don't know what will. Great way to show her topless, w/o going overboard. Her face is pretty good too, like the hair and the marks on her face.

3) The foliage is nice to hint at what kind of terrain and to back up the natives.

4) kudos to trying to do a Thompson with a drum.
Shows that you did research.

What needs work:

1) Anatomy. There is some good passages here an there, but the anatomy overall is weak. Her head is too big for her body. Hero's hand is too small (and a Peacekeeper .45 revolver is slightly bigger..not by much..but slightly bigger)

2) Perspective. The huts are playing havoc with our perspective perception when lined up against the figures in the background. Not easy stuff... but needs to be solved. Marvel's Drawing Comics the Marvel Way has a very simple 2 or 3 pages on perspective, but it is surprisingly good and succinct.

3) Some storytelling elements: Who is she shooting at? We don't see any trees...so we cannot even suppose a treetop sniper. And most like,the watch towers would be behind them.
b) He is firing at nothing too. While it can be considered "suppression" fire, it really, in this pose, looks like a waste of bullets. Nice to see some brass flying around too!
c) The Dragon Empire dude in the back looks like he is laying down fire from a Thompson with a straight clip (like most G.I.s were using, not the drums, drums jammed too much and weighed too much). I would prefer to see him using a MP-38 or 41 (aka, Schmiesser). MOre research, ain't illustrating fun!?!

But overall... great try. You've really pushed the boundries of what you can do. And art is one of those things were you don't learn by succeeding. You learn by mistake.

[Storn]

Damn... there is so much here that works.... and yet, so much that doesn't.

What I like:

1) the main figures are well done. She is exquisite (except for that really limp knife and sheath on the thigh... that doesn't look like an object with solidity at all)

2) Love the glider guys.

3) The radio detonator is a good storytelling prop and connects us to the explosion.


What isn't working.

1) His knee has no wrinkles, it looks like he has naked leg. But, we see fabric wrinkles in the crotch area. And the other leg has asuggestion of wrinkling too. This really jumps out at me.

2) Even if you wanted to do a .45 automatic, this one is too small. A .45 is a big honking gun.

3) Her rifle is cheesed in. That isn't a real rifle. That is a barrel, with a badly hinted at stock. That needs work.

4) What are they looking at? Why are they simply standing, kneeling there? There are people shooting at them!!!! They are so still, yet there is all this wonderfully chaotic action behind them. They look seperated from it. Yet, it doesn't reach for the "movie poster" look either, but caught somewhere in betweeen. Hell! Our intrepid hero has been shot with a FREAKIN' DART AND HE HAS NO REACTION ON HIS FACE!!! I'll hit you with a dart and see how you react....<g>

5) You obviously put in tons of work into our heroes. But the background figures are hastily done. The german looking guys have way too much leg, a bit skinny. Not a lot of care went into them. Dartblowgun guy is really stiff.

6) The Zepplin is blah. The game is called Zepplin Kreig. We need gothic or baroque looking Zepplins!! That thing should have 4 inch guns, maybe on turrets, mgs sticking outof the coupala.

It sounds like I'm beating up on you bad, doesn't it. Well, the figures in the foreground are so lovingly done, if you can take that quality to the storytelling and to the back ground elements... you'll be cooking with gas.

[Josh W]

After a day or so of wrestling with my scanner, I've managed to get an image together.

It's, er, not nearly as clean as Metalman's or Samurai's, but I think the essence comes across.

While I'm reasonably pleased with the result, there are a few modifications I would like to do. That and I used the wrong guns on our intrepid hero (oops!). Teach me not ask questions during the briefing.....

[flyingmice]

Well, I had the itch last night and had to scratch it. The damn picture wouldn't get out of my head otherwise! I wasn't going to put up anything, but at 11:56 last night I sat down with a pencil and some Bristol board and started drawing. At 3:05 I finished it up and went to bed. I know I got an F on this one, but I'm posting it anyway. Ready to get hammered, Sgt. Storn sir! :D

http://jalan.flyingmice.com/Jungle_Raid.jpg

[MetalMan]

Originally posted by Storn
But overall... great try. You've really pushed the boundries of what you can do. And art is one of those things were you don't learn by succeeding. You learn by mistake.


Thanks, Storn! I really worked hard on this one and really let it down at the end by poor background elements. All your points are being addressed now before I start inking. I'll see you again in two weeks when I can try to put that info in "The Art of Comic Book Inking" to practice (no Photoshop on this one - all hand!)

[flyingmice]

Originally posted by MetalMan



Thanks, Storn! I really worked hard on this one and really let it down at the end by poor background elements. All your points are being addressed now before I start inking. I'll see you again in two weeks when I can try to put that info in "The Art of Comic Book Inking" to practice (no Photoshop on this one - all hand!)

Yeah, James. I can tell you lavished care on the main figures. The background figures are all the more jolting because the foreground was done so well! :D

[flyingmice]

Originally posted by Josh W
After a day or so of wrestling with my scanner, I've managed to get an image together.

It's, er, not nearly as clean as Metalman's or Samurai's, but I think the essence comes across.

While I'm reasonably pleased with the result, there are a few modifications I would like to do. That and I used the wrong guns on our intrepid hero (oops!). Teach me not ask questions during the briefing.....

Ummm, those sure look like Peacemakers to me! I like the grim expressions on their faces. They look dirty, tired, and worn down, which is very realistic. The arm Our Hero is shooting with is not right. It looks short, not flung back. There's a lot of detail in the background, and your zeppelin is excellent! The fold in the paper really detracts from the pic, though. :<

[flyingmice]

Originally posted by Samurai
Well, despite being quite busy, I decided to stay up late a few nights and sketch this out... I'm not entirely sure I'll have time to finish it, but I'll try.

Self-analysis:

Needs more guys on the ground chasing them, I know.

They are both looking toward the "camera" instead of behind them at the explosion. You can say they are focused on getting out of there, but my original intention was to add some natives in the foreground blocking their escape. The camera angle makes this a bit hard, though, as it is too low for an over-the-shoulder shot and too high for a between-the-legs shot... Might still do it somehow, or might turn his face and gun and point them back at the enemy... if you think it is needed at all. They might just be intent on getting the heck outta there...

The villains on gliders were my idea, and were not stated as existing in the rules. They are easily removable if needed, though it will leave the sky rather empty...

I made the girl black. Again, this may contradict the story. However, I remembered that thread a while back about increasing racial diversity in your art, and while I draw lots of whites and asians (and occasionally American Indians), I couldn't remember the last time I included a black person in a drawing, so I went ahead and claimed artistic license... Oh, I also gave her a matching top... kids might read this thread... :)

Edit: Just noticed that he is supposed to have a Peacemaker... I'll change that before the final... I knew the number 45, and I though a 45 Automatic was a bit modern looking, but it was supposed to be the 1930s or 40s...

I'm interested in seeing everyones' different takes on this scene... Nice job on yours, Metalman!

The heroes are very well done, Samurai! I also love the gliders! Very cool! As for Virginia, she looks very african. Whether or not the AD likes it, that was well done! Because of this, the whole jungle scene seems african, and the indian in the background looks out of place. The guy looks like a young Sean Connery Bond. :D

[Josh W]

Originally posted by flyingmice


Ummm, those sure look like Peacemakers to me! I like the grim expressions on their faces. They look dirty, tired, and worn down, which is very realistic. The arm Our Hero is shooting with is not right. It looks short, not flung back. There's a lot of detail in the background, and your zeppelin is excellent! The fold in the paper really detracts from the pic, though. :<

Thanks Flyingmice. I can't seem to open your pic, though and would really like to.

The arm was changed at the last minute for some terribly important reason I can recall right now. The problem is the arm and the gun are on completely different receding lines, and Johhny's eyes are not looking in that direction either.

As for the zeppelin, I hapened to find a cross-section kid's book on the Hindenburg for $10. Wonderful source material.

[flyingmice]

Hi Josh!

The arm can be fixed! It's worth fixing, because the pic has some very good points.

As for my pic it somehow got screwed up. I have posted another copy. :D

[Samurai]

Very nice picture, Clash! I especially like the Kraut with his arm up and the burning zepplin. The whole picture has a very nice, sketchy quality to it that seems to fit the theme and period well. The guy on the ground though... his pose isn't very... manly... if you get my drift... :) Also, the head on the Indian at the far right seems a bit large.

[flyingmice]

Originally posted by Samurai
Very nice picture, Clash! I especially like the Kraut with his arm up and the burning zepplin. The whole picture has a very nice, sketchy quality to it that seems to fit the theme and period well. The guy on the ground though... his pose isn't very... manly... if you get my drift... :) Also, the head on the Indian at the far right seems a bit large.

I don't know what you mean! I had Magic Pink pose for it and... oh! Damn! :O

I hadn't noticed the Indian's head. That's easy to fix digitally. Thanks for the nice remarks and the crit! I appreciate it! :D

[flyingmice]

What? No rip up and start over from the dread Sgt. Storn? No agonizingly merciless post-mortem? I'm severely dissapointed! Here I sit, erasers at the ready, for days! Is this some subtle new torture technique devised by our peerless leader? Ach! No one could be that cruel! :O

[Storn]

Originally posted by flyingmice
What? No rip up and start over from the dread Sgt. Storn? No agonizingly merciless post-mortem? I'm severely dissapointed! Here I sit, erasers at the ready, for days! Is this some subtle new torture technique devised by our peerless leader? Ach! No one could be that cruel! :O

dude, you were late.

However, I have been cranking on meeting two seperate deadlines for two different companies... and September looks to be equally as busy. So I've just been working my tail off and have not had the time to really participate online as much as I would like.

Also, the steady stream of house guests didn't make it any easier to stick to a schedule although I loved having them all!!!

And now, your file doesn't download for me. Although I remember looking at it quickly when first posted.

[flyingmice]

Originally posted by Storn


dude, you were late.

I know! Mea Culpa, just like last time. :O

Originally posted by Storn

However, I have been cranking on meeting two seperate deadlines for two different companies... and September looks to be equally as busy. So I've just been working my tail off and have not had the time to really participate online as much as I would like.

Also, the steady stream of house guests didn't make it any easier to stick to a schedule although I loved having them all!!!

Figured you were real busy! But the priviledge of being ripped to shreds by Sgt. Storn is not one I take lightly! I shall wait, giving a reasonable approximation of patience. :D

Originally posted by Storn

And now, your file doesn't download for me. Although I remember looking at it quickly when first posted.

Ack! I just tried it myself, and had no problems - even refreshed twice on it! I don't know what the matter is :<

[MetalMan]

Well... pencils due on the 19th - finals due two weeks later - TODAY.

Here it is. I added in the cyclic recoil yanking the thompson up along with muzzle flashes to emphasize the gun climbing. I also (hopefully) made the background elements better. I originally swore that I wouldn't use Photoshop on it but, after looking at the background (and remembering the black/white/grey compositional elements from The Art of Comic Book Inking), it needed something to make it less than a giant white morass.

This is my first attempt at inking anything. I hope that it at least didn't come out as completely horrible.

Thanks Storn and LIW - I very much enjoyed this and I hope that the lack of participation doesn't discourage either of you from doing another one. I'm very appreciative of the help and advise you give and they help me out a lot!

[Storn]

Metalman, you've added even more elements! Like the guy taking the bullet from the backwards firing Hero's gun. Unfortunately, I think its starting to get a bit crowded. It is a fine line between detail and too much detail. I've tripped over it many a time myself. All part of the learning process.

As far as pure inking goes, this is really not bad. There is somethings I would like to see concentrated on in the future...But this is adjustment stuff.

You need to think a bit more about line weight. Things in the foreground, tend to have a heavier line and things away from the light source (in this case, mostly indirect overhead light from the sun). So the bottoms of arms would be a bit thicker than the top of the arm. The line weight is varied a bit, but it can be pushed even more.

The biggest problem is that you have background figures on all kinds of different planes (I don't mean the crashing one <g>), yet there isn't the barest suggestion of rolling ground. The figures are all on different levels, yet way in the background, I see a perfectly straight line. Well, nature rarely provides a straight line... man does.... but not nature. If that is a tarmac, than we need to be told that more forcefully.

Also, I think it is interesting that you felt the need for grayscale way in the back there... yet didn't carry it throughout the whole pic. You could hve really had something sweet if you did.

Still a lot of drawing problems were not cleared up. Hero's face is still a bit wanky, pudgy. Her Thompson arm is too long and her head a bit big for her body. And still, who the hell is she shooting at?!?!? I see tracer bullets coming from the jungle (not particularly well done, this is an element that could hve been left out or made stronger), but they are coming way lower than were she is returning fire. If she is experiencing runaway (which can happen with a heavy Thompson, firing one handed) then her face, her hand position should reflect that.)

But damn, Man, you really tried to go for the whole ball of wax. Congrats. You really tackled very difficult issues and you should pat yourself on the back.

[MetalMan]

Originally posted by Storn
But damn, Man, you really tried to go for the whole ball of wax. Congrats. You really tackled very difficult issues and you should pat yourself on the back.


Thanks, Storn... I'll allow myself a very brief pat on the back. This one was tough! I've never had to do so complicated a composition before and it really put into contrast a lot of the areas that I need to work on and I thank you for pointing them out.

I guess I should have continued with the photoshop greys but I was trying to avoid them but I think that if I use them in moderation I should be okay (especially considering how I don't have or want to mess with ziptone).

I'm glad the inks were not too awful. I bought the new volume of Art of Comic Book Inking today and it looks to be as helpful as the first book.

Thanks again and I'm very much looking forward to the next instalment whenever you have the time to do so.

[Samurai]

I have received another paying gig and I'm trying for more, so I'm afraid I didn't have time to do the final version... (Hey, paid work has gotta come first :) ) If/when things slow down again, I'll try to get around to finishing my picture...

[flyingmice]

Samurai:

Damn! I was looking forward to seeing your finished work! Please post it if you do finish it!

Metalman:

Your inking is pretty damn good for 'just beginning", James! I agree about the shading. The lack of it makes the figures in the middle ground appear to be floating in a void. Carrying it forward would have vastly improved the pic. Sometimes attempting something big is the only way to really learn.

:P

I certainly learned from my mistakes in this exercise! :D

[Henderson]

Originally posted by MetalMan

I'll allow myself a very brief pat on the back. This one was tough!

No kiddin'! Being such a fan of the pulps, I wanted to have a go at this. But, after reading the description and trying a couple layouts, I got a terrible headache trying to fit everything in (I only got as far as the main characters by deadline day).

Big high five to you, James. You managed to get it all in there!

Storn--I think a cool way to finish these bootcamps would be if you were to do a rough breakdown of how you would've handled each situation (especially this one). I know there are more folks than just me who would appreciate this additional help.


Craig