[Actual Play: Buffy] The Watch House Season 3

[Craig Oxbrow]

(The Watch House is a series concerning Watchers in training at King's College, Cambridge. Season One begins here (http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?threadid=84440) and Season Two here (http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?postid=1988746#post1988746).)

The Watch House 3.01: New Blood

Jake: psychic, plagued by visions and memories
William: Watcher in training, starting to make his own way

(absent)
Andy: easy-going hereditary lycanthrope

Escher: dour Watchers' tutor

Emma: Jake's ex, a somewhat capable spellcaster

--
A train pulls in to Cambridge by night, brakes screeching and echoing across the near-deserted platform. Dozens of young people step out, looking around, following signs to the exits and the taxi racks. A handful head for telephone booths and lavatories. The crowd thins and disperses, leaving the station silent again.

One backpacking student steps out of the bathroom, looking around the gloomy station... and a vampire snarls as it skulks towards her. Then it pauses and looks over as someone standing in the shadows snaps open a lighter and lights a cigarette.

Jake: Disgusting habit...

He throws the lighter at the vampire. It swoops towards it, opens mid-flight, twists around in the air and shoots a gout of flame into the vamp's face. The lighter flies back into Jake's hand after the vampire has burned to nothing, and he steps out. The backpacker looks around briefly, spots him and smiles.

Backpacker: Uh, hi, I'm going to King's College, do you know the way?
Jake: Yeah, head down the main street...

The route he describes isn't a shortcut, but keeps to well-lit main roads.

William groans as he sets down the last of Charlotte's bags by her bed.

Charlotte: Thanks for your help. I guess you've got to check in as well?
William: Yeah, I suppose so.
Charlotte: See you afterwards?
William: Sure.

Andy pads through the corridors, dragging a trolley of bags. The wheel snags on the rim of the door, and his eyes briefly flash golden as he grits his teeth and pulls the trolley inside.

Emma sits on the bench outside Escher's office, watching the door. She looks up as Jake approaches, smiling softly, sadly.

Emma: Hi. Um... how was your summer?
Jake: Oh... it was fine. Quiet.
Emma: Yeah. Mine too. This is everyone, I guess... (frowns)
Jake: Everyone that's left...
Emma: Yeah... we should probably check in.

Jake knocks, and before long the door opens. Escher smiles slightly and waves them all in. Emma pats his shoulder lightly.

Looking around, the group note two unfamiliar satchels sitting on the main desk.

Escher: Everyone... the first year class.
Jake: (Under his breath) Freshers... we're gonna die.

CREDITS!

Theme: Ash, Evil Eye

The full moon over Cambridge, behind the tower of King's College Chapel (http://www.kings.cam.ac.uk/chapel/gallery/).

The Watch House

James McAvoy (http://www.jamesmcavoy.com/albums/album02/nd_3.sized.jpg) as Jake - spinning a sword, gritting his teeth as a stake floats above his hand and flies away, playing his guitar

Mark Hamilton (http://www.esatclear.ie/~ash/TMB-Mark1.jpg) as William Grove - flicking through an ancient tome, adjusting a taser, hefting his axe

Hans Matheson (http://uhms.thathughsongirl.com/CIHeadshot.jpg) as Andy Sampson - charging with a baseball bat, howling at the moon, briefly glimpsed in werewolf form

Vampires and demons charging, a swirling black and purple tear hanging in mid-air, hands bursting out of the ground

Monica Keena (http://www.monica-keena.com/images/ud/02.jpg) as Natalie Derby-Moore - firing a crossbow, kicking a demon in the face, smirking

Gabriel Thomson (http://www.ycdtotv.de/mf_img/b9_069.jpg) as Matthew Fairweather - looking nervous, raising a torch, throwing a punch

Laura Fraser (http://www.miranda-richardson.com/laurafraser/lfapril2004.jpg) as Emma Radcliffe - raising her hands in warding, looking thoughtful

And
Alfred Molina (http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/columbia_pictures/identity/alfred_molina/identity.jpg) as Michael Escher - loading a crossbow, glaring

Vampires, demons, gravestones, skulls, sinister rituals, strange flashes of intense light, bodies being flung through the air, the full moon again, and the show logo and the 'call to arms' shot of the Watch loading up and striding purposely in slow-motion towards the camera...

Created by Oxbrow, Tobin, Windmill, Robertson, Prentice, Neil, Dizzy, McCraw, McIntyre and Darlington

[Craig Oxbrow]

A bespectacled boy in sweater and college scarf, and a fair-haired girl in blouse, jeans and stout walking shoes.

Escher: William Grove, Emily Radcliffe, Jackson Deville, Andrew Sampson - Matthew Fairweather and Natalie Derby-Moore.
Natalie: Of the Aylesbury Derby-Moores.
Matthew: Tcch.

She glances at him, he looks at the desk.

Escher: They will be studying, learning, observing patrols.
William: (casually) So, back to patrolling then...
Natalie: (excitedly) Patrolling?
Emma: (groans) My favourite part...
Jake: (groans) It's good to be home...

Natalie: So, who are you people?
William: Who are we?
Natalie: Well, I know you, but...
Jake:...
William: Oh, we're the Watchers.

Natalie nods, apparently satisfied. Matthew wanders off to resume looking at the stacks.

Emma: So what did you guys do over the summer?
William: Stayed with my family. My family's not very exciting.
Jake: (quietly) At least you got one.
William: Er... so we spent a fortnight at the lakes.
Emma: You and Charlotte?
William. Yeah. That was nice.

Jake: So, what have we missed?
Escher: Not much, thankfully.
Jake: Keeping tabs on Ziggy's family?
Escher: We were supposed to be. They vanished after a few days.
Jake: That Watcher skill again.
Escher: Quite.

William: So, can the new recruits fire a crossbow?
Jake: Take 'em down to the practice room and see.
William: Show 'em all our cool weapons.
Escher: Here's the key.

The practice room hasn't been used since June. The targets are draped with dust sheets. Jake pauses on the threshold, listening to the echoes of the last time he was here, then presses on inside.

Natalie: Good space. Lots of room to run in.
Jake: Yeah...

William: Now, crossbows, and -
Natalie: Are these repeating crossbows? I'm mostly used to using sporting bows, but I imagine these are more practical in the field.
William: Uh, yes.
Natalie: Hard to conceal though, of course.
William: Yes, and we also have melee weapons. Combat does get a little too close sometimes.
Matthew: Oh, good...

Jake throws Matthew a fencing foil. He manages to catch it before it hits the floor.

Jake: We don't tend to bother with masks. They're a little conspicuous. I mean, we could probably find one...
William: I think they're behind the hand axes... have to blow the dust off...
Matthew: (warily) No, no, that's fine.

He takes up a competition-perfect fencing position, one hand behind his back, drops his foil, starts to salute - and Jake jabs him in the ribs.

Matthew: Hey!
Jake: It's all very well in here but don't go saluting vampires. Cross that off your list right now.
Matthew: Hm. What else?
Jake: They're stronger, faster -

Matthew yells and charges. Jake ducks away and kicks Mathew's legs from under him.

Jake: - And don't let them know you're coming.
Matthew: Screaming, not a good idea.
Jake: They're faster and stronger than you are, and they like to hear people scream.
William: Although it can be helpful if we're on patrol and you're attacked while out of sight.
Natalie: So have you slain a lot of vampires?
Jake: Well -
William: Don't worry. We haven't seen any for a while.

Jake says nothing about his encounter the night before.

Jake: In the Shield it's fine.
Matthew: Of course it doesn't keep everything out.
Jake: Well, no. But it'll let you sleep at night.

He hands Natalie a crossbow. She tests the weight, nocks a bolt, turns, and fires into the centre of a target.

Natalie: Not bad.
Jake: From a standing target at twenty feet.
William: It's a little different against a charging demon.
Natalie: Well, that's what we're here to learn.
Matthew: (quietly) I'm here to learn geography...

Natalie gives him a look, and he takes the crossbow... aims... adjusts his glasses... aims again and fires, hitting near the centre.

William: You might have to fire a bit faster than that if things start happening out on patrol.
Jake: If things start happening out on patrol, stay back.
William: Was that "out on patrol" or "out of control"?
Jake: On patrol.
Emma: I heard out of control too...
William: But, anyway, most patrols are somewhat uneventful.
Matthew: (unreassured) Good...
Jake: Don't feel like you have to go. There's plenty to do here.
Matthew: No, we kind of do have to go...

Natalie nods curtly. Matthew looks at his shoes. She goes to look at the selection of weapons and he trudges after her. Jake watches them go, brow furrowed.

Jake: Babysitting them both at the same time?
William: Oh, what's the worst that c-

Emma quickly puts a hand over William's mouth before he can finish that sentence.

William: Sorry.
Emma grins.
Jake: I guess we're out tonight. (to William) In the meantime, find some book thing for Matthew. Coming from you it'll seem useful.

They nod, and head back to the office.

Natalie: So do we go into battle a lot?
William: We have quite often -
Matthew: (nervously) Often?
Jake: Often's too strong.
William: Sometimes we have been known to... er... read up. In the event that something bad - in case something happens.
Jake: Check out the local fauna and flora. Read William's reports...
William: And leave some of the magic books alone.
Matthew: Magic books?
William: They're mostly in Mister Escher's locked collection, of course.
Natalie: Gosh. So will we be going patrolling?
Jake: Once it gets dark.
Natalie: Oh. (looks out the window) Right.
William: Well, we could go now but it'd be rather uneventful.
Matthew: I don't mind -
Natalie: We'll be ready in a couple of hours then.

Once the freshers are out of the way:

Jake: We are so screwed.
Emma: She seems enthusiastic... (ponders) is that good?
Jake: I hope so.

They share a look as they head back to their rooms to unpack, and in William's case to help Charlotte unpack.

CUT!

[SteveD]

Oooh, can I get transcripts sent to my work again?

[Craig Oxbrow]

Two hours later, on the dot, Natalie leads Matthew back to the office. They're kitted out for action - well, he's kitted out for orienteering really. Escher shares a look with William, Jake and Emma.

William: Well, what do you guys want to take?

Matthew clasps a stake tightly, and a cross hangs down his front.

Matthew: I, ah, understood we'd be going along in an observational capacity -
Natalie: Can I have a shortsword?
Jake: Just stay at the back, okay guys?
Matthew: Well, not the back exactly? Can we have someone behind us?
Jake: Right, stay in the middle...
Natalie: Can I have something concealable? I mean, more than a composite bow.

She mimes firing a longbow.

William: Well, yes. English longbows are a little outdated, even for our traditions...
Jake: I hear they use them in Oxford, but that's probably just the rumour mill.
Natalie: Um, well, anyway. Do we get a map? Or do we frown on maps?
Jake: We don't want to be too predictable.
Matthew: And do we patrol inside the Shield or, er... outside?
Jake: What would be the point of patrolling inside the Shielded area?
Matthew: Well, it doesn't cover everything, and, er...
Jake: It'll be fine. Don't point that thing at me.

He gently moves the point of Matthew's tightly-held stake to the side.

Matthew: Sorry.
Jake: Ever used one?
Matthew: Of course... (quietly) On a practice dummy.
Jake: Well, there are two ways to use it. Overhand like this, through the ribcage. Or underhand like this, through the soft part under the ribs.

Matthew duly nods and looks appalled. Natalie tuts.

Natalie: We did graduate from the Watchers' Academy, you know.

Jake shakes his head and walks off in a random direction.

Natalie: Why that way?
Emma: Why not?
William: Because that's the way.
Jake: As long as we cover the whole are in a week...

Natalie and Matthew hurry and trudge after respectively.

William: We can't let them straggle. They'll end up in some pub.
Emma: That'd be bad. It's all a question of when they end up in the pub.
Jake: It'd help if we had vampire detectors. Y'know, glowy things.
William: So they can see us coming?
Jake: Not that glowy. Like Zig... (trails off)
Emma: Yeah, well...

The three of them lapse into silence. William adjusts the sight on his crossbow. Jake speaks up a little too quickly.

Jake: They can smell us anyway. Even without Jack here.

Will and Em smile. Em looks back and beckons the freshers to hurry up.

And then four veiny, sallow-skinned demons charge around the corner.

Jake fires his crossbow first, asks questions later. The lead monster takes a shot in the heart and flinches.

Jake: What are they?
William: Could be a... no, they're found much further south...
Jake: Dude, stop thinkin' about it and fight!

A bolt through the (glowing green) eye drops one of them.

Natalie: Take that!
Matthew: Uh... uh...
Jake: Anybody wanna pipe up?
Matthew: Uh... probably not a Trivlos...

Emma tuts and raises a hand, slamming two of them back with a wall of force, away from Matthew as he adjusts his glasses and tries to draw a bead on the probably-not-a-Trivlos.

Matthew: They can't abide the cold, which isn't very hel-WAHA!

One of them lurches forwards, dodging a sword swing from Jake, dodging into William's axe.

Emma: The dead ones are starting to melt. Oh, guys, don't step in the goo.

Matthew blanches and looks at the ground. Jake grabs his crossbow and fires it into the last demon's mouth. It starts to liquefy as well.

Matthew: Good God.
Natalie: Smells like someone let one off in the chemistry lab.
Matthew: Judging by the dispersal, they're probably Etruscan Havlos. A related subspecies. They don't mind the cold as much, but this is still pretty far north for them.
Jake: Hang on.

He retrieves a single solid item from the steaming mass of yellow goop - a pewter signet ring marked with a black circle lined in red.

Emma: What is it?
Jake: I doubt it's the eye of Sauron. Any ideas?
William: Take it back to the office and see?
Jake: Might be a homing device. Not that I'm being paranoid about that or anything.
Emma: Oh, no, of course.
William: It's a healthy paranoia.

Jake sketches the symbol then puts the ring down.

Jake: See if you can smash it. Just in case.

William hefts his axe. The ring smashes into itty-bitty pieces.

Jake: Just checking.
William: And here I was worried it'd damage my axe. Like last time...
Matthew: Last time?
Jake: Long story.
William: Vitrified Hanelorga skull.
Matthew: Ahh, I see.
Jake: Well, that's the short version.

A closeup of the ring - on another hand, clawed, sallow with bruise-black veins.

Demon: The Watchers are weak, broken. The warrior is slain, the warlock gone. Their heart and soul are lost to them. And now they must guard the children in their midst.

We pan up to a face literally pockmarked with stubby horns. The demon sneers as he continues.

Demon: Which they will fail.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Escher looks at the sketched symbol.

Escher: Hmm.
Jake: It always lifts my spirits when he says hmm like that. I just want to skip around the room...

Jake heads out for a smoke.

Escher: It could be the mark of the Black Sun... or the Blood Sun... or the Blood Moon... probably not the Night Sun... there really aren't enough ominous signs that can easily fit onto a signet ring... I'll draw up a list, you can all help to research the cults in question. In the meantime, keep an eye out for more of these things.
William: I think Matthew might need something a bit more effective than a stake, then.
Jake: Want to give him...?
William: He's not bad with a foil. Of course, a foil is bloody useless... (ponders) assuming it wasn't modified to shoot bolts of electricity... Hmm...
Jake: Remind me to bring that mobile Faraday cage with me next time we patrol.
Emma: Pub?
William: Well, it is traditional.
Emma: Should we bring them?

She looks over at Matthew and Natalie, both looking up attentively at the mention of the pub.

The Brody is already coming back to life. Tessa and Rachel greet familiar faces at the bar. Sophie and Lawrence still aren't talking to each other. Blur's Tender plays in the background.

Jake: I'll get a round in. What does anyone want? Usual? Matthew, Natalie?
Natalie: Just an orange juice.
Matthew: I... (looks at Nat, sinks into his seat) orange juice too.
Jake: It's okay, you can have something else.
Matthew: Um... can I get a beer? (carefully avoids looking at Natalie)
Natalie: Well then, I'll have a vodka and orange. (cocks a snook at Matt)

Tessa smiles cheerily as Jake approaches.

Tessa: Hi, how was your summer?
Jake: Oh, it was... quiet.
Tessa: We solved a murder!
Jake: Uh... what?
Tessa: (nods) Crazy mad scientist and everything. Put our journalism courses to good use.
Jake: Uh... right... (blinks) Well... less of that here.
Tessa: Oh, yeah.

Jake returns to the booth, not sure if she was joking.

Natalie: ... the Classics Society, of course. Apparently it has a second-year President after the last fella dropped out. Need to keep my Latin up. And Archery, naturally, and the pony club goes without saying.
William: Right... got a pony yourself?
Natalie: Her name's Star...

Jake: Haven't seen the rugby club yet.

He looks around, and spots Michelle hustling Matt and Alan of the Society for Psychical Research at the pool table.

Michelle: Hiya. Glad to be back?
Jake: We'll see.
Michelle: Haven't seen Jack have ya?
Jake: Trying to avoid him. I imagine you are too?
Michelle: Oh yeah.

Will joins them at the pool table.

William: So did you guys find anything, ahem, haunted over the summer?
Alan: Oh, we found a very promising sight. It has a cold spot on the landing!
Jake: A... cold spot.
Alan: The temperature varies by about three degrees!
Matt: Centigrade, of course.
Jake: Near a window, is it?
Alan: No!
Matt: And half the pictures came out with spheres!
William: Spheres...
Matt: You know, inexplicable white dots!
Jake: Like you messed up the exposure.
Alan: (defensively) Well, like that, yes...

Jake shakes his head and steps out to get some air. He looks over the familiar faces in the pub, thinks about the familiar faces that aren't there. Emma watches him go, almost hiding a frown as she turns back to the freshers. He heads over to see Andy, finding him staring at his PlayStation.

Jake: Some sorta demon frat boys in town. And Watcher freshers.
Andy: Sorry I missed that. I was... umm... busy.

William waves to Charlotte as she enters, and gets up to greet her.

Matthew: Who's she? Another Prentice?
William: No, she very much isn't.
Natalie: A civilian?

She seems puzzled by this concept. Matthew shrugs and takes this opportunity to go and play darts. Natalie joins him and promptly trounces him.

Charlotte: So, all checked in and all, and all?
William: Yeah. I saw a few of the freshers too. All new and... stuff.
Charlotte: We're like grownups now. Kind of.
William: Yeah... wanna rent a movie and eat popcorn?
Charlotte: Cool!

Next morning, the group reconvene at the office.

Jake: So, have you found The Cult Of The Black Circle With The Red Circle Round It yet?
Escher: I've isolated a few possibilities. I've ruled out the Black Sun, and a group annihilated by the Black Moon...
Jake: Hostile buyout?
William: Obviously they really liked the symbol.
Escher: We found three groups that might be reasonably local and that might use Havlos.

He hands one of three files to Matthew, a second to Natalie.

Jake: Since we know they're active, we can't let them get too close to the middle of civilisation... not that Cambridge isn't in the middle of civilisation...
Natalie: Why here, then?
William: We tend to draw them to us...
Matthew: That's reassuring.
William: And Jack's not around, so no smell to drive them away.
Jake: Not so much cannon fodder, either.

He looks sidelong at Matthew, who very quickly starts reading, and smirks. As the new bugs read, the others step outside.

William: Emma, you and Natalie can talk about leads.
Jake: Take her under your wing a bit. Round the edges off.
Emma: Hm?
Jake: She's a bit... square.
Emma: If she takes me riding I'm takin' you with me.
Jake: (smirks) Oh yeah, that's gonna happen.

Matthew: Aha! Here we are. The Sect of the Eye of the Night, worshippers of Darokin the Shadow.

Natalie looks up, blinks, mouth hanging open.

Natalie: Darokin? The cult of Darokin?
William: Yes...
Natalie: (quietly) Oh dear.
Jake: What's goin' on?

Natalie pouts slightly, looking flustered.

Jake: Anything you want to tell the class?
Natalie: Well, erm, Darokin of the Burning Eye was a Trivlos demon seer. He formed a cult in the Sixteenth Century which we - the Watchers fought with on and off until we killed him and wiped the other leaders out in 1836. June. Anyway, the survivors pledged death for the descendants of the Watcher who lead the charge.
Jake: And that would be...
Natalie: Harold Derby. Before his son Henry married Juliet Moore. But, but father assured me they were all dead. They haven't tried to kill any of us since the War...

The second-years share a look.

William: Dead is kind of a loose term in our profession.
Jake: Yeah, if he'd said dusted we might rely on that.

And meanwhile, in a large, dark room, robed figures walk widdershins around a small fire, chanting in Etruscan...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Jake: So, what are the weaknesses or these demons?
Escher: Well, there's the cold. The Trivlos hibernate in winter.
Jake: So they're summoned. Or they're tourists.
William: Maybe I can build a freeze ray... hmm, suppose I don't have time... a dry ice catapult?
Matthew: You build things a lot?
William: I made a lightning gun once. Kinda got exploded by this evil guy.
Matthew: Maybe something less ambitious then?
Jake: A bucket of ice?
William: Some cold beers!... (ponders) Cans... liquid nitrogen... hmm...

Jake: They'd have to have somewhere warm. And they probably don't mind the bills.
Escher: Places large enough to have furnaces and boilers.
Jake: That's most of the colleges. Hospitals, schools...
Escher: Hotels...
Jake: Have you got the map?

Spreading out the large map of the city, annotated with the radius of the Shield and other points of interest, Jake taps the street the Havlos attacked them on.

Jake: What's nearby?
Escher: Hmm... the Crown Hotel. Currently closed for renovations. Two streets along.
Jake: That's handy.
William: I'm just off to borrow the thermal imaging goggles. Then I'm going to the lab.
Jake: Gonna make up some fizz bombs?

William nods as he goes. The group split up to equip.

Escher: Now, this is just reconnaissance. If there's something there, assess the situation before confronting it.
Matthew: Reconnaissance. Right.
Natalie: Absolutely.

William returns carrying thermal goggles, thick padded gauntlets and a black box with a digital thermometer display. He sets it down on the table with a heavy clunk.

Emma: That's in no way intimidating.
Jake: You put that together this afternoon?
William: (shrugs) Just grabbed some stuff from the chem lab.
Jake: It's not flammable is it? (lights a cigarette)

Will opens the box, and reveals three heavy glass flasks held in packing foam. Jake nods. Emma looks nervous.

Jake: You guys up for this?
Natalie: Absolutely!
Matthew: ...
Jake: You don't have to if you don't want to.
Matthew: Right!

Natalie gives him a look.

Matthew: ... But I suppose I'm here to learn.
William: Researching their motivations may be more useful.

Matthew looks to Natalie and shrugs slightly.

Emma stands up and gets ready to go. Jake turns to her.

Jake: You don't have to come either. We're just doing recon.
Emma: I know what recon's like. I'll get my coat.

William: That makes five.
Jake: Is he coming anyway?
William: Yeah...

The group reach the site and look around. No major security except a video camera watching the workmen's Portakabin. William puts on the huge thermal vision goggles as surreptitiously as possible. No major heat sources above ground. Jake leads the way sneaking inside, where Will notes that the floor is slightly warm.

Jake: Of course we did the proper reconnaissance. We know how many doors there are, how many stairs down, how big the basement is...
Emma: Of course!
William: We always do!

William duly unfolds a floorplan. Jake covers his surprise.

Jake: See?
William: Right, the basement's over here. The furnace's flue is here...
Jake: Could we drop one of your bombs down into the furnace? It'd announce our presence but... it'd be fun.
Matthew: I thought we were just here to look.
William: Matthew, you want to check with these? (offers him the goggles, points to the basement door)
Matthew: Uh... I could look...

Jake goes and looks, then waves William up. Down below, he notes three robed figures chanting, and more Havlos demons lurking in the shadows.

Jake: Latin of the chanting variety. You listen. Gimme one of those things.
William: Remember to use the glove.

Jake nods, takes the glove, and while William's looking away he uses telekinesis to lift the glass globe out of the box and send it on its way into the fire.

William: No, it's... I think it's Etruscan. I'm a little rusty. Something shadow, something fire...

And the chanting is interrupted by yelling as William, using the other glove, throws the second nitrogen bomb into the now charging mass of demons.

Jake: Everybody ready!
Matthew: No?

There's crashing, the hissing of liquid nitrogen hitting fires and splashing onto warm demony flesh, a gurgling noise from the most vocal of the robed demons as it tries to move its flash-frozen arm...

Jake: Don't struggle too much, your arm'll fall off.

The still-functioning demons charge up the stairs. Emma makes a forceful open-handed gesture and the three nearest go toppling back down. William fires his crossbow into a second robed demon's hood. Matthew aims, adjusts his glasses, aims again...

Jake: (sarcasm) Take your time...
Matthew: (ditto) Oh yeah, because pressure really helps...

To prove a point he fires, and gets a demon in the thigh.

William: (encouragingly) Well, you hit it. That's good.

Jake drops his crossbow and takes up his sword. The leader of the charging pack deflects his blow with its arm. But this leaves it open for a swing by William's axe and a jab from Natalie's dagger. Behind them, the surviving robed demon runs over to the furnace, opens it up... and sticks its head in.

Demon: Darokin, take meeeeeaaaaaggghhhh!

The group share a look.

It stumbles back, its head on fire, its burning body tearing out of its robe. It points a fiery claw at Natalie.

Darokin: Now you buuuurn...

Natalie whimpers. And opens the box.

Jake levitates the remaining bomb upside its head. It solidifies like lava cracking underwater.

The remaining demons howl as they charge. Matthew clubs one with his crossbow, firing it into its face. Natalie hacks across another's chest. Jake runs the last through.

Having despatched the survivors, they warily approach the smoking immobile thing as its still-burning eyes glare at them. William retrieves his insulated glove and prods it.

Jake: Not looking so hot now, are you?
Emma: Groan.
Jake: (grins) Sorry. Had to say it.

He lights a smoke off Darokin's outstretched finger and turns to Natalie.

Jake: So, want to uphold the family tradition?

Natalie nods as William offers her his axe.

Jake: We find it better if you sing while you work.
William: Ah, the Lumberjack Song. Brings back good memories...
Jake: (thoughtful) Yeah...
Matthew: (deadpan) I didn't know I'd joined Footlights.
Natalie: (enthusiastic) Ooh, I should join Footlights too!

Natalie shatters Darokin with a single blow to the head. And we cut to her on the phone, pacing around the office.

Natalie: Daddy, I swear, it was the cult of Darokin. It was, in fact, Darokin himself! You assured me - you assured me this whole group was dead. Which they weren't. I'm not happy. Well, yes, they are all dead now, but that's really not the point, daddy! - No it's not!

And we pull back from Natalie pacing, to Matthew watching her pace, to Escher shaking his head and going back to his book, to Emma smirking at the freshers and looking sidelong at Jake, to Jake half-smiling and William grinning as he goes back to reading.

CREDITS!
GRR! ARG!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Escher V/O: Next time on The Watch House:

Natalie pointing and Matthew trudging after her dejectedly.

Charlotte wincing in sympathy as she gently touches a dark bruise on William's cheek.

Emma looking worried as she looks out from the wings of a stage.

Jake waving to the crowd at a fair-sized gig venue (not the Basement).

Three vampires on the balcony overlooking the stage, grinning...

Escher V/O: The next episode of The Watch House is Play Dead.

--

DVD Commentary

Craig: New season, new cast, no new writing staff, one of my producers off running his own show, one of my writers missing the jam session. Still, I think it turned out fun. I'm worried I had to rely on the supporting cast too much, but we've established the shape of the new season already.

(Matthew backs down as Natalie looks at him)
Craig: I wasn't sure how the dynamic was going to work here, but I think they're a fun double act.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Oooh, can I get transcripts sent to my work again?
I'll think about it. :D

[Varyar]

Sweet! New blood.

I love the William and Natalie interaction. They're definitely quite the pair.

I can't wait to see things progress.

[Joe Dizzy]

That was quite cool. Makes me all nostalgic and stuff.

Maybe one day I will also be able to put together a regular gaming group that isn't about to fall apart due to scheduling conflicts after only two sessions.

Natalie and Mathew are quite a fun. They have a very strong Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley vibe to them. I'm curious just how far Matthew's hapless geek shtick will go.

Keep 'em coming.

[Coffee_Lifeform]

I love the William and Natalie interaction. They're definitely quite the pair.


Do you mean Matthew and Natalie there?

[Varyar]

Do you mean Matthew and Natalie there?

:o Oops. Yeah. That's what comes from posting early in the morning.



relatively early

[Craig Oxbrow]

:o Oops. Yeah. That's what comes from posting early in the morning.



relatively early
Bah. I'd been up for hours.

(Damn telemarketers.)

[sasori]

I'll think about it. :D

There'd have to be regular transcripts first! ;)

[Varyar]

Bah. I'd been up for hours.

/me points out that you're in GMT.

(Damn telemarketers.)

Ack. What a way to wake up on Sunday.

[Craig Oxbrow]

The Watch House 3.02: Play Dead

(thanks to OneSmallGod on Eden's Buffy RPG forum for the idea)

Jake: psychic musician plagued by visions and memories
William: Watcher in training starting to make his own way
Andy: hereditary lycanthrope who assures us he's in control

Escher: dour Watchers' tutor
Emma: Jake's ex and a somewhat capable spellcaster
Matthew: bookish Prentice fresher
Natalie: horsy Prentice fresher
Charlotte: William's uninformed civilian girlfriend

--

We open on moonlight reflected in the river Cam. Disrupted as Andy goes headfirst into the water.

Five tall, slender figures chuckle throatily as a sixth turns back to the group after throwing him in, pinkish-white eyes blazing in the dark.

Tall Demon: That all you got, little Watchers?
Jake: Hardly.

And with that, he fires a crossbow into the speaker's mouth, then kicks it into the river.

Andy: Hey, you know how "The Werewolf" goes?
Tall Demon 2: Huh?
Andy: Something like this.

Tall Demon 2 is duly rent in twain, which it seems not to enjoy. Tall Demon 3 looks down at the red dot glowing on its chest, then the crossbow bolt protruding where that was as William reloads. Matthew aims warily. Natalie charges forwards with a croquet mallet. Andy struggles towards the shore, as the dying demon tries to drag him under.

Emma: We should really check on him.
William: What? He's wet, is all.

Matthew loses his aim as the fourth demon surges forwards and punches Jake in the gut, knocking him off his feet. The fifth kicks William over. Natalie clubs it between the legs. Jake flings his sword into the looming demon's chest. William leaps up and lunges with his axe.

William: Die, you evil demon! Yaaaaagh!

The demon rather wisely steps away from that swing. Matthew retreats as he tries to draw a dagger, while Natalie runs into the fray - and gets knocked aside. Matthew charges forward to cover her, jabbing at the demon. Then Jake blindsides it and skewers it, and William stumbles over.

William: Let's try that again...

The demon's head rolls down the riverbank, barely missing Andy as he holds the last of them under. It bubbles and dissolves, and he quickly gets out of the river, shaking water off his hands.

Andy: Eeeeuggh!
William: C'mon Andy.
Andy: Buh-bloody hell that's cold.
William: At least you got a soft landing this time.
Andy: What were those guys after?
William: A fight, apparently. Duerlags. Basic marauding types.
Matthew: So, these things just come and hassle us because we're there?
Jake: Well, if they weren't fighting us they'd be able to attack everyone else. We stand in the way.
Andy: Plus, we go looking for trouble.
Matthew: Well... well... why couldn't we study Prenticeship by correspondence course?
Natalie: Oh, come on Matthew.
Matthew: (sighs) Right.

Their elders watch the freshers depart, and share a look.

Andy: So anything coming up this week?
Jake: Got a gig.
Andy: What, a real gig? Congratulations.
Jake: Well, it's fifty quid for the entire band... but yeah. A real gig.

And we cut to a stack of flyers advertising the gig. And someone picking one up, and grinning. Fangs glittering in the darkness...

CREDITS!

[Craig Oxbrow]

And we cut to a flyer again. The camera revolves from a vampire holding it, to the flyer itself, then back - to reveal Charlotte looking at it, sitting on her bed, in broad daylight (in case anyone was wondering if this was just a jumpcut - which it is).

Charlotte: So this is Jake's band, right?
William: Right.
Charlotte: That's the name they settled on?
William: Think they've changed it again.
Charlotte: So can you get us in for free? (grin)
William: I'll talk to Jake, if you want to go...
Charlotte: Sure. I mean, I'd like to know your friends better. Your friends in that special section of the History Society which I am not a member of.

And she gives him a suspicious look.

William: Er, well... some of them should be there...

And there's another flyer on the noticeboard at the Brody. Which is heaving. Rachel hides behind Tessa as the bar is swamped three rows deep with freshers. Jake sighs as he looks over the bar.

Andy: I dunno, you're sitting quietly having a drink when a pub crawl goes by. They occupy the bar for twenty minutes, take over the jukebox, then vanish, and you're like "what happened?"
Jake: Find another bar?
Emma: We'd lose our booth. I mean, it has so many memories. We were threatened by vampires there, attacked by crazy anger-spell people, it was bugged to monitor our... yeah, maybe find another bar...
Andy: Fear not, I have a plan. (heads into the fray)
Emma: I fear his plans...

Natalie chatters away as the group convenes. Matthew looks up from a copy of 2000AD.

Natalie: So apparently the Classics Society exec all failed or dropped out, which is why they've got a sophomore as acting president. So I was thinking we could...
Matthew: Hmm. Well, you know what happened there. Whole Sorcos Demon summoning thing.
Natalie: Ohh. Well... All the more reason for us to take over!
Matthew: I don't think taking it over is really necessary...

Some big lads pass the booth.

Big Lad 1: Well, I heard the forward line collapsed after Barry an' that Jack guy fell out.
Big Lad 2: I heard something about 'em clobbering each other with pool cues.
Big Lad 1: These ones?
Big Lad 2: Well, obviously not. They're no' broken.

Michelle pitches up through the sea of fresh faces.

Michelle: Oh my God there are so many kids here. It's like some kind of - are we really just a year older than them?
William: We weren't this bad.
Emma: No, you weren't. You still aren't.

Andy: I hear there's a special offer on beer down the road!

The crowd at the bar thins to maybe two and a half freshers' thick.

Jake: Nice try... Anyway, one beer, then I'm going back to practice.
William: Oh yes, Charlotte was wondering about tickets.
Emma: Aw, that's nice.

Escher looks up as the group comes in next day and nods slightly.

Escher: Good morning. How's everyone settling back in?
Jake: Alright.
Andy: Been a good long break. Nice to be back.
Escher: Good... Some research needs to be carried out - there's a notable lunar conjunction in eight days' time and it might draw out certain interested parties.

He points to a stack of thick and weighty-looking books.

Jake: Oh, good.

William's eyes light up.

Jake: So what sort of conjunction?
Escher: Nothing particular tied to it. It's on my charts, though. (quietly) Mostly it's an exercise on cross-referencing.

Jake nods.

William: So, this lunar conjunction, will this affect your problem?
Andy: Problem? Oh. It's not a problem.
William: Maybe problem's... not the word.
Emma: There are worse words for it.
Andy: I've got it under control!
Emma: So you keep saying.
Andy: Look, I only attacked you once. And (points at Jake) I was under your control at the time.

Jake doesn't look up. But Andy does feel a smack upside the head. Jake withdraws, taking a star chart with him, giving a dirty look to Matthew as he opens his mouth. Emma comes over.

Emma: Wanna get out of here?
Jake: I thought you were into all that prophecy stuff.
Emma: They're gonna ask questions. And they won't get much sense out of Dog Boy.
Jake: It'll be in the report.

He stands up and announces to the room in general:

Jake: I'll be in the practice room.
Emma: And I have to... um... observe!

They quickly withdraw.

Emma: We know it wasn't your fault. Even Andy knows that.
Jake: Yeah...
Emma: We forgave you. All of us...

He nods slightly, and turns to go.

Jake: I should probably go rehearse.
Emma: Okay. Um... see you for patrolling?
Jake: Sure. If you wanna come and listen beforehand we'll be in the hall.
Emma: Um... okay.

She smiles wanly as she watches him go, looks at the ground, and then heads back inside.

Rich, Lee and Sam attempt to look busy adjusting their instruments as the gig's organiser, Farley from Clare Entertainments, looks around.

Farley: So, first off-campus gig. Excited? Scared? Intimidated?
Sam: Only by you.
Jake: Should we be?
Farley: What I like ta hear! Ay-way, I gotta... you know, organisers.

And off he trots to meet the investors. Three of them seated in a booth in the club, well out of the light.

Farley: It's gonna be a good gig. Lotta fun. Lotta people there. Good buzz on these bands.
Investor: That's good. Wouldn't want our investment to fail us.
Farley nods, gives the investors the thumbs up and departs. They look at each other, smile. One lifts an empty glass as another pulls out a bag of blood and pours it in...

Investor: To a good gig. Lotta fun... lotta people there...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Emma sits at the side of the rehearsal room, listening as Jake plays.

Jake: Whatcha think?
Emma: Well, the new songs are... gloomy.
Jake: Thanks...
Emma: Well, they are.

She smiles wanly and shrugs slightly.

Jake: Yeah, probably...

He puts the guitar down, and winces as the strap hits his bruised ribs.

Emma: Are you -
Jake: I'm fine. Anyway, we're meeting them at the bar. Or outside it if we can't get in.

At the bar, Michelle holds up a flyer.

Michelle: This is Jake's band, right?
Andy: Yeah...
Michelle: What's with the name?

Emma: So, did the research turn up anything?
William: The conjunction will be best visible from the top of Devil's Thumb Hill. There's a standing stone there that isn't hooked into the Shield.
Jake: Hmm.

And our heroes head out on patrol.

Andy: I was thinking. Since we go out on patrol a lot, I could turn beforehand...
William: Er, well, we're trying to be inconspicuous.
Andy: Well, it'd scare the bad guys.
Emma: And the good guys. (off Andy's look) I mean Matthew and Natalie... are... still a little wary...
Jake: It's never taken you any time to change anyway.
Andy: Well, what about if something gets the drop on... us...

And out shamble a group of things humanoid in rags, with grey-black skin pocked with sickly yellow.

Jake: (casually) What's that then?
Andy: Five ugly demony guys. (to the demons) Are you evil?
Lead Demon: Rrrrr...
Andy: They're evil.

One of them throws back its hood, revealing a skeletal face and a seam running down its bald head.

William: Anqmurt Demons.
Jake: Weaknesses?
Matthew: Cleave their -
William: Now, Natalie, I expect you to know this...
Jake: Could someone tell me?
Natalie: The... the seams in their skulls! Yes!
Jake: Right!

He duly buries his sword in the gap and the thing gurgles and spasms.

Andy grins at Matthew, Hulks out, and grabs both sides of a second demon's head, pulling them apart, cracking the thing like a lobster.

William misses with a shot...

William: Wish I'd gotten that taser I ordered from eBay!

... and gets punched upside the head. The Anqmurt grabs him and uses him as a human shield against Andy. Jake circles around it and stabs it in the back of the neck.

William opens his eyes and looks around.

William: Ow... ah. Good!
Jake: That's teamwork for you. So what were they after?
William: They're low-level thugs from the Minosch Wars.
Jake: So they're professionals? They're crappy demon hitmen?
Matthew: They might have just been hunting... I hope...
Jake: Anything's possible.
William: Anyway, the bodies are flammable after a few minutes.
Emma: We'll deal with that. You get that head looked at.

Natalie heads home and Matthew trudges dejectedly after her...

Charlotte winces in sympathy as she gently touches the dark bruise on the side of William's face.

Charlotte: How did you get that?
William: Fresher at the bar elbowed me in the face...

She nods, and looks like she'd like to be convinced...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

The Portland Arms, on Clifton Street, is pretty much full. A banner for the gig flaps in the wind, falling over the band's name. Our heroes sit backstage...

Sam: Wow, look at all the money we got. At this rate, we'll be playing Wembley in about seventy years.
Jake: Cheers.
Sam: Always there to support you.

The support act, Sugarbuzz, are loud and guitar-y.

Emma: Good luck... or break a leg... no, that's actors... (shrugs) oh, you'll be fine.
Andy: Macbeth!
Emma: Tcch.

Jake shakes his head as he heads on stage, slinging his guitar on, adjusting the strings... touching the silver cross on a chain around the neck of the guitar.

Jake: Deep breath... and go.

Emma looks worried as she gazes out from the wings of a stage. And three vampires look down from the balcony overlooking the stage, grinning...

Jake:
You do what you do
You say what you say
You try to be everything to everyone
You know all the right people
You play all the right games
You always try to be everything to everyone...

Sam: Isn't it good how they mix the drums up so you can' hear the singer...

Jake's listless, distracted, looking for something to take his mind off what he's doing... he looks over at Emma, looking concerned, William and Charlotte near the front smiling at each other, Matthew watching Natalie bop around on the dancefloor... then he notices a thin man leading a girl into the back manager's area, while another keeps watch.

Andy glances around as Jake watches the men, but doesn't see where he's looking.

Jake:
You spin around and fall down and do it again
You stumble and you fall, yeah you do it again
You spin around and fall down and do it again
You stumble and you fall...

He pauses between songs, and sees the same guy leading a second girl out...

He heads off to the bar. Andy joins him and beckons William over.

William: Did you see something?
Jake: I saw some guys acting a bit suspicious... but maybe I'm just looking for distractions.
William: What was it?
Jake: These two guys being shifty when one of them tried to pull... two girls. Maybe he struck out with the first one... Don't see the girls though.
William: I'll keep an eye out.

Jake nods and they head off to take a quick look. Sure enough, they find the second thin man watching the door.

Thin Man: Shouldn't you be on stage?
Jake: I don't play for two hours without a break. That's why you got the jukebox playin'.
Thin Man: Well, maybe you should be backstage then? Or enjoying our complementary bar?

William tries to push past him.

Thin Man: And you'd be goin' where?
Jake: I thought the artists' toilets were back here?
Thin Man: Tsk. On the left.

He nods, and promptly heads for the door on the right, out into the club courtyard.

William heads out to the front of the building, and out the main door.

Andy tries to bag his way past as well.

Thin Man: Yes?
Andy: Hey, you were there last night, weren't you? When Freddy got up on the table and whizzed in the bottle?
Thin Man: No...
Andy: Oh. (quietly) Bugger.

Meanwhile, Jake steps out and find a van parked next to the band's.

Jake notes the blacked-out windows. Looks around, notes he's outside of the shield, and sighs, his shoulders slouch.

Jake listens at the side, and hears muffled sobbing. Jake heads over to a packing crate and breaks a bit off, about stake size, then heads round to the back of the van, and fiddles with the lock.

Inside, he finds the two girls, one unconscious, the other checking her breathing. She looks up, fear turning to hope - then back to fear.

Girl: Behind you!

Jake turns, just in time to see the chattier thin man, in vamp face, swing down from on top of the van, feet first towards his face.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Jake steps back and holds out his impromptu stake as the vamp jumps down on him. The Vamp slaps the stake aside, and grabs Jake by the collar.

Inside, Andy hears the noise and shoves past the probably-undead bouncer.

William rounds the corner of the building, hearing noises from the parking lot, he picks up the pace.

Outside, the vampire turns and slams Jake into the side of the van. Jake tries feebly to break the vamp's grip on him.

Andy runs out, pursued by the thin man, who is indeed now snarling and yellow-eyed.

Jake raises a hand. A beer keg flies at the vamp holding him, knocking him off his feet, Jake drops, and holds his side where it connected with the van. William rounds the corner, and catches up with Andy, as the thin man chases him out the door. William punches the thin man, who laughs off his attack and picks him up off the ground...

William: Little help? Andy? Please?

Andy grabs the undead bouncer by the waist even as he sprouts claws. The first vampire watches, shocked and more than a little puzzled, then charges the lycanthrope as dust rains from his claws.

Jake concentrates, and his discarded stake jumps into the air and slams into the vamp's chest.

Jake: Good... okay, that hurt...
William: Yeah... I didn't wanna bring my axe to your gig. Sorry.

Andy reverts out of sight and recovers his shirt. William frees the girls, confirming that the unconscious one has been bitten but not too badly.

Girl: Did you see where they went?
William: We, ah, chased them off.
Girl: Chloe got bitten!
Jake: What a freak...
William: Probably, er... on PCP...
Jake: Maybe you should report this. You'd recognise them, right?

Jake: I think there was another one.
William: I didn't see any...
Jake: Yeah, well... I better get back on stage. But we should check first

As they head inside, up towards the balcony, Emma catches up with them.

Emma: What's going on?
William: There seem to be vampires around. We dusted a couple...
Jake: There might be more.
Emma: Great, that's - look out!

A vampire dives down the stairs to the balcony - chest-first onto Jake's stake.

The group head up onto the balcony. They find Anqmurt Demons lurking in the shadows, guarding a pile of unconscious freshers, and two vampires watching the show: the investor and a henchman.

Jake: We need something to split some heads open...
Andy: Can't really change in here...

The vampire investor turns and smirks.

Investor: Well done. You brought in quite a crowd. The sacrifice for the conjunction will be quite impressive...
Jake: Yeah, well, I have to be back on stage in five minutes, and you and your friends are getting in the way of our gig.
Investor: Not to worry. You've done what we hired you for.
Jake: You know, it's kinda ironic that you hire a Watcher-associated band to draw in a crowd. But I really don't like being used like that. Gets me a little riled!

With that, he flings the stake. It accelerates in mid-air and turns to slam into the vampire's heart. The hench-vamp blinks.

Jake: You might wanna take your boys and -

The remaining vamp jumps over the balcony.

Jake: Okay, you could do that...

With that, the Anqmurts charge.

William stakes the first in the face, the stake jutting out like a horn and the demon clawing at it. Jake brings his hands together, and two of the demons slam into each other.

William picks up a beer tray and hammers the stake in with it.

Emma raises her hands in warding and two more demons skid to a halt in front of her. She shrinks away all the same as they punch and kick at the barrier.

Anqmurt: Hunh? Hunh! - Unh?!

William clubs one on the back with a chair. The second kicks him across the room.

Andy gets a similar idea and tries to lift a table. His eyes glow briefly and he manages to lift it slightly, then it crashes down and he groans... He looks around for something, picks up an aluminium pole from the balcony bar fittings, weighs it, and throws it away.

Andy: Grrr-
William: Somebody'll see you!

Jake, on the other hand, lifts the table with a thought, turns it in the air so that the surface is pointed at the demons, and rams their heads into a wall with it.

Andy picks up one of the demons and throws it over the balcony bar, smashing the mirror behind it. He grabs a shard to use as a knife, and drops it, screaming and clutching his hand.

Andy: Weapon - Aaaagh! Silver!

William retrieves the shard and turns to the last two demons. Clearly not being paid for their tactical sense (or aware that they won't be getting paid since their employer is now a pile of dust) they charge. Jake raises his hands and the remaining shards fly into them.

The group limp over to the pile of victims.

William: They're alive.
Jake: They're freshers, aren't they?
Andy: Once again, Cambridge is safe... but the vampires failed to make it safe for second-years to get to the bar.

As they head downstairs, they are confronted by Natalie.

Natalie: Did you drop a vampire on us?
Jake: Uh... not exactly. He jumped. Where'd he go?
Natalie: Oh, we chased him down and staked him. Always have a stake to hand, at least...

William finds Charlotte at the bar.

Charlotte: I thought you were gonna get us a drink.
William: I had to... make a call first.
Charlotte: Did you see that guy jump off the balcony? He just got up and ran off. He looked really mad about something... And that horsy girl chased after him.
William: Really? Huh.

Jake walks on-stage, almost covering the limp, picks up his guitar with his back to the audience, closes his eyes, rubs the cross, turns and starts to play.

Jake:
I just don't understand how
you can smile with all those tears in your eyes
Tell me everything is wonderful now...
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...

Emma smiles sadly as she watches him play. Natalie bops her head, oblivious to Matthew sitting at the bar. Andy rubs the already-closed wound on his hand. William tries not to wince as Charlotte slides an arm around him...

CREDITS!
Everything To Everyone and Wonderful performed by Everclear
GRR! ARG!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Escher V/O: Next time, on The Watch House:

A medieval army besieging a castle, as a ball of burning pitch arcs overhead.

William leafing through a yellowed tome in a churchlike library.

Jake and Emma sitting apart and looking out of different windows of a 4x4.

A gauntleted hand bursting out of the ground.

Matthew and Natalie pointing in different directions.

Andy loping through dark woods.

William looking rather nervous as he hefts his axe while a man with a lance rides at him on a motorbike...

Escher V/O: The next episode of The Watch House is By The Sword.

--
DVD Commentary and Actual Play

(Andy landing in the water)
Craig: This was originally written with Jack in mind, but since he didn't appear for the rest of the series, Andy drew the short straw in the reshoot. The "soft landing" line was originally Jamie's, too.

(The first Anqmurt fight)
Jamie: I'm sure these used to be easier.
Derek: There used to be more of the guys. And, well...
Craig: Yeah. I wanted to have you beat up a bit, and of course William had to take a hit.

(Charlotte looking after William)
Craig: She knows something's wrong. Of course, she has no idea what it is...

(Outside the gig)
Derek: The banner falls just so we can't see what the band's called.
Craig: Like all the shots miss the band's name on the flyers. The script read "the band should really have a name" but when we couldn't come up with one we just went with the gag...

(The gig itself)
Craig: As you can tell, all the songs are massive bummers despite their bouncy guitar hooks. Oddly enough, the bits you hear in the episode aren't even the biggest bummer moments in the songs...

[Kasumi]

Mmmm...it's that good Actual Play taste, you can't beat it.

Thanks, Craig!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Mmmm...it's that good Actual Play taste, you can't beat it.

Thanks, Craig!
You're very welcome.

[Craig Oxbrow]

The Watch House 3.03: By The Sword

Jake: psychic musician plagued by visions and memories
William: Watcher in training starting to make his own way
Andy: hereditary lycanthrope who assures us he's in control

Escher: dour Watchers' tutor
Emma: Jake's ex and a somewhat capable spellcaster
Matthew: bookish Prentice fresher
Natalie: horsy Prentice fresher
Charlotte: William's uninformed civilian girlfriend

--

It's a beautiful, clear night. As the catapult throws the burning ball of pitch at the castle wall.

The County of Cambridgeshire. 1462 AD.

Archers rain fire down on the besieging army. The master of the castle stalks the ramparts in heavy plate armour. He stops to grab a soldier climbing a siege ladder and pull him up, then throw the ladder off the wall one-handed. The knight raises his visor to reveal a mouth full of fangs.

Jourdan: A pity you people need no invitation to enter our homes.

He's so engrossed in biting the soldier that he doesn't notice the lead ball arcing overhead until it slams into the wall above him, bringing it down on his head.

The dust settles... and is brushed away. A group of archaeologists dig through the ruins. The group leader, a middle-aged man called Eric Farmer, shouts:

Farmer: C'mon, we're going to the pub!

The last of them, his teaching assistant May Neilson, downs tools. They leave the site for the night...

And a gauntleted hand bursts up out of the ground.

CREDITS!

[Craig Oxbrow]

It's a warm September evening and the Watch seat themselves at the Brody, groaning with the effort of sitting and stretching out after a long patrol. All except Natalie, who dashes off to talk to some of the other members of the Classics Society. Matthew arches an eyebrow at not being dragged along with her.

Jake: Well, it's good that she's meeting people...
Matthew: Hrm.
Jake: You're not in the Classics Society too?
Matthew: I'm in danger of becoming treasurer.
Jake: No-one else'll do it?
Matthew: Hrm.
Jake: Ah. Her idea. Part of this thing with her.
Matthew: Huh?
Jake: Nothin'... Um, so, gonna drum up support? I assume there'll be an election.
Matthew: I assume.
William: I'm sure you'll get in.
Matthew: So am I... (sighs)
Jake: What, is there a more glamorous job than treasurer?
Matthew: Publicity?
William: Librarian? (off Jake's look) Nah, that'd be boring. No, you want to do something impressive. Kill a vamp, maybe...
Jake: Can't show off too much these days...

The older members share a look.

Jake: Well, it's only Classics. What harm can they do?
William: Well, the old Classics exec trafficked with demons...
Jake: Well, yes...

Natalie leaving does leave room for Charlotte to sit as she comes over.

Charlotte: You look puffed out. Have you guys been jogging or something?
William: Erm... long walk to the museum.
Jake: Yeah, what was that in aid of?
William: Er... someone we needed to talk to. Anyway, we got done, thought we'd relax after a night's, er...
Jake: Walking.

Jake: How's it going with you two? Plans for the weekend?
William: Well, they have to be a bit flexible. Never know when we... might have to... walk to the museum.

Natalie dashes over and drags Matthew away.

Charlotte: What is it with those two?
William: I think he's a pawn in her evil schemes for power.
Charlotte: Bummer.
Jake: Yeah, but he seems quite content with it. And it might bring him out of his shell a little.
Emma: Or crack him.
Jake: Yeah...

Escher frowns as he reads a memo when the group come in next morning.

Escher: A university-funded archaeological dig has been closed down after a body was found on the site. As opposed to in the site. He'd been run through.
William: By what? A sword?
Escher: That's what it sounds like.
Jake: Eww. So what's the site?
Escher: Here we are. Sir Jourdan the Red... His castle was besieged and destroyed during the Hundred Years War, but no-one is entirely certain by which side.
William: An old sword lying around? Wouldn't be much use.
Jake: Wounds'd go septic...

William: Digging up ancient things... always a bad idea.
Jake: Pessimist.
William: I'm going on experience.

Matthew: So, what do we do?
Escher: You need some practice with field research. We're going on a field trip.
Jake: Guess it's better than sitting around the office... we can go sit in another dry, dusty library.
William: I hear there's an excellent collection, and... (off Jake's look) er... we'll be out and about.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

St. Ives, Cambridgeshire, the market town of the popular trick riddle, is fairly small and fairly quaint.

Jake and Emma looking out of different windows of a 4x4. Natalie sits between them, looking from one direction to the other.

Natalie: This is pretty country, isn't it? Oh, what are you looking at?

Matthew studiously does the Times crossword and occasionally glances at Natalie, brow furrowed. William looks over his shoulder.

William: As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives. Every wife had seven sacks, every sack had seven cats, every cat had... seven kittens... Kittens, cats, sacks and wives, how many were going to St. Ives?
Jake: One.
Andy: Huh?
Jake: It doesn't say where this guy's going.
Natalie: Oh, very clever.
Jake: I mean, if you had seven sacks full of cats you wouldn't be goin' very far with 'em.

Andy: So was the sword still there? I mean, would he just abandon his weapon or was it part of a ritual or something?
Escher: The report doesn't say. That would be one of the reasons we're going.
Jake: We don't have any contacts in the area?
Escher: We are contacts in the area.

Mr. Farmer, the archaeology supervisor, three of his class and his teaching assistant, May, meet the group in the Coachman pub on Market Hill. They look tired and drawn. May holds a cup of coffee with both hands. Alec, Deb and Julie, the students, have something of a thousand-yard stare.

Farmer: Ghastly business, this. Seems he was some local type out walking his dog. Dog hasn't been found, actually... but anyway, I got there just before sunup and there he was. Must have been lying there for hours, the blood had mostly soaked into the ground...

Jake looks around and notes that there aren't a lot of people looking suspiciously at the strangers... but there is a youngish vicar at the bar, looking away as he glances over.

May: That's Reverend Dean. The dig's on parish land, and he keeps the church records, and runs the local library part-time.
Jake: Perhaps we should talk to him.
May: He... isn't terribly chatty.

May: The site itself is cordoned off. There's a mobile incident room in the nearby carpark.
Jake: But we're all excited about the site...

The local inspector, DI Moffat, throws away a Styrofoam cup of tea as the group approach the site.

Moffat: Mister Farmer, Miss May... and some other people?
Jake: History society.
Moffat: Ah, well, the body was here, next to the hole.
Jake: Hole?
Moffat: The caved-in bit down to the lower level.
Jake: Caved in?
William: Never said anything about that...
Moffat: No? Oh. Well. Might want to take a look then.
Andy: Were there signs of a struggle?
Moffat: I wouldn't say so. I'd say he was surprised.

And he leads them to a freshly-dug hole in the earth, big enough to clamber down into. Some five feet below that there's a broken, uneven wall. And next to it, emerging from the earth, is a pile of bones.

Jake warily stretches out a hand to the skull...

And gets an image of the battle, the soldier whose body this is climbing a siege ladder, a tall figure in armour looming over him, a stabbing pain, and then falling rubble...

He pulls his hand back as if burned.

Emma: (concerned) What did you find?
Jake: Never get a nice vision. Just once...

Then he notices that she has her hand on his shoulder, and it slides off as she steps back, looking at the exposed masonry...

Emma: Um.
Jake: Yeah... Skeleton down there. Don't move anything.
William: Is there a metal detector I can use?

Jake steps away to get a smoke.

Emma: What did you see?
Jake: Wonderful visions... Bite to the neck. Really bad hicky if you've got the right sort of teeth.
Emma: Vampire?
Jake: I dunno. William's the expert at this sorta thing.
William: Ooh, a penny!

Jake smiles weakly.

Emma: You okay?
Jake: (shrugs) What's one more vision of mutilation and death? Wasn't mine or anybody I know... but let's go talk to this deacon bloke.

William looks at his metal detecting results.

William: Much clearer picture than they had yesterday. Looked like there was a lot more metal there...
Jake: How much...
William: Like... something's been removed. Something big.
Jake: Like a guy in armour?
Matthew: Like someone got up and walked away after five hundred years?
Andy: Oh. I see. Vampire. Got you.
Jake: Let's go talk to the rev.

They go over to the vicarage. Reverend Dean looks the group over.

Dean: Ah, yes. Hello.
Jake: Hi. We're down with the history society crowd from Cambridge.
Dean: I suppose you'll be wanting into the library, then...
William: That would be brilliant.
Jake: All goes towards our thesis.

Cut to William leafing through a yellowed tome in the church library.

Dean: This is the prize of the section on Jourdan. The only remaining copy.
William: Sir Jourdan is said to have... made a pact with Lucifer for eternal life and power over his enemies.
Jake: Oh, that old chestnut.
Andy: Well, if you're going to make a pact with someone, the former head of the Lord's angels and the most powerful and beautiful being in the universe...

Reverend Dean arches an eyebrow.

Andy: Er... Satan bad.
Dean: Quite. Anyway, you know how it is. Anyone unpopular enough was accused of selling their soul.
Jake: So what did he do? I know he was involved in the war, and nobody's sure which side killed him, so was he just a backstabbing... person?
Dean: All we know is irretrievably muddled with rumour, hearsay and superstition. These were unenlightened times, when people still believed demons walked the earth...

They discuss things in rather more detail as they go.

William: So, a pact? That'd make him a demon.
Jake: Started out human. Could be anything now.
Emma: And we've got a vicar who doesn't believe a word of it.
William: At least he'll be safe. All those crosses.
Jake: Do vampires have a sort of... hibernating thing?
William: They generally become weak if they don't feed.
Jake: Well, what else could live for five hundred years under two tons of rock?
William: Oh, quite a few things. I'll compile a list of the ones that could pass for human...

Jake looks up at the darkening sky.

Jake: You should put in a call with the coroner, see what he found.
William: I've had many interesting conversations with him. He has some fascinating hobbies.
Jake: I don't wanna know.
William: Dead bodies are a job, not a hobby.
Jake: Yeah...
Emma: Just make the call...

Doctor Brown, the Cambridge coroner, sighs.

Brown: Oh, it's you.
William: Ye-es. Some poor guy got stabbed in St. Ives.
Brown: Large single wound. Heavy blade. There was dust in the wound as well, it hadn't been cleaned in a long time. He bled out quickly.
William: A sword?
Brown: Could be.

Jake: Dust, not rust? You're sure?
William: Yes.
Jake: Makes a difference.

Our heroes retreat to the pub.

Andy: So we've got a crazy ancient demon with a sword that isn't rusty after five hundred years in the ground?
William: The ground is quite sandy...
Jake: We've also got a dog gone missing. How do we find a dog... (looks at Andy)
Andy: Bloody dogs. Bastards won't stop barking at me... this one time I went to Crufts...
Jake: Is this a 'band camp' story?
Emma: Please say no.
William: Must be hard travelling abroad if sniffer dogs always go for you.

Jake: If it was a vampire, why take the dog and not bite the man?
Emma: Well, he was bleeding anyway.
Andy: And a dog's easier to carry off.
Escher: If we could get on... We may have a hunger-crazed vampire or other immortal monster roaming the countryside in well-preserved heavy plate armour.
Jake: This is not good. I mean, armour...
William: Good thing I brought this.

He brings out his brand-new taser.

Jake: So we can fry it. If we can find it.
William: We could go for a patrol of the area. Look for places something like that could hide.
Escher: Well, there are some cave structures in the woods outside of town.
Jake: A-caving we will go...
William: Hmm.
Jake: So, checking those caves before it gets too dark?
Emma: It's getting kind of dark already.
William: And all sensible people aren't out after dark. Fortunately we're not sensible... or is that un-fortunately...

Jake: We should get some lights and such then.
Matthew: Natalie might have some. And probably caving gear.
Jake: Natalie does spelunking?
Natalie: Oh, yes!

Farmer and May approach.

Farmer: Judging by the broken artefacts around the body, he was probably a foot soldier caught in the castle's collapse. There's some interesting space next to him, though.
Jake: Space?
May: Like there was another object there which shifted after the fact -

Then they're interrupted by loud engine noises from outside.

May: Bloody boy racers playing motocross...

And outside, sure enough, three young men speed by on dirt bikes.

And a pair of gleaming eyes watch them pass from the shadows of a nearby alley...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

And so the group head out to the caves, where they soon find footprints. Big, heavy footprints.

Jake: Great. We've found the right place. So, how does that taser work?
William: One shot.
Jake: Make it count.
Matthew: What do we do?
Jake: Stay behind.
Natalie: Provide covering fire?
Jake: And if that doesn't work, run away.

William: Do you really think you needed to say that?
Jake: They seem like the kind who'd go down with the ship. Watcher obligation and all. Makes 'em stupid.
William: Hey...

Andy: So what now? We track his armour with the metal detector?
Jake: Or follow the footprints.
Andy: ... Could do that... I suppose...

Jake: Well, onwards and up... well, downwards.

Andy: These caves are a bit cramped...
William: Yeah. I've found the end.
Jake: Nobody home, huh?
William: Apart from... found the dog...

He grimaces as he shines his torch into the corner. Everyone else avoids looking.

Andy: We could camp here until he comes back?
Jake: And in the meantime he can kill everyone in town.
William: And then come back here where we're cornered.
Andy: So... let's go back to town and look. Would it be wise to go to the dig?
Jake: It's on the way in.

They head back out.

William: More patrolling. That's nice.
Jake: Well, it's more scenic.
William: It's dark. Not much of a view... less tourists though...
Emma: Except that we're tourists.

They reach the site and find Mister Farmer's already there. There's now another unexplained dig. He looks down, arms folded, frowning. One of the students, Alec, clambers out.

Alec: Goes pretty deep, sir. Looks like a crypt or something.
William: Oh good. More dark holes in the ground.

So they descend into the darkness with only a few torches for company, pausing to note more big, heavy footprints in the dirt.

They find a largely undisturbed crypt... with weapons racks. Some broken shields, and space for another. Some shattered lances, and space for another...

Jake: Er, yeah, he came in and took a lance...

The group share a worried look as the rest of the dig team arrive.

May: Well?
Jake: We'll let you guys in. It's getting a bit late.

As they withdraw, Jake spots a thin figure observing the comings and goings. Reverend Dean.

Jake: We're being watched.
Andy: Where?
Emma: Oh.
Jake: Could just be a nosy parker.
William: Nothing exciting happens here, I suppose... unless you really enjoy market day... but then again, he has the book.

They discuss how best to patrol.

Matthew: He'd be rather obvious in town.
Jake: Woods. Lotsa trees.
William: Better than dark caves.
Andy: Should we split up and... only said that for the reaction. (grins)
Jake: We should stay close together.

Andy nods. And then runs off into the dark.

Jake: What did I just say? Not with the splitting up, dude!

As they run after him, Jake spots two figures in the woods, a man with his arms around a woman, holding her close...

The group approach and... May shrieks, blushes and hides behind Reverend Dean. He cringes. So do the group, as they hide crossbows and axes and swords.

Dean: Ah... er... good evening...

Matthew tries to stop laughing. Natalie elbows him in the ribs.

Jake: Evening. (grins uncomfortably)

They sidle away.

William: We should leave them to it... but they're in danger. Axe-wielding maniacs and all.
Jake: You hang back then. Let's find Andy.

Cut from Matthew and Natalie pointing in different directions to Andy loping through dark woods, pausing to sniff the air...

Jake draws his sword and runs into the woods... then gets blindsided and flattened with the pommel of a sword.

William looks up as he hears a dirt bike engine somewhere in the darkness up ahead.

Emma stands in a clearing, shouting:

Emma: Jake? Jake!

Natalie runs the way Jake went. Matthew yells:

Matthew: Hey! Stay together!

But she doesn't seem to hear him over the engine noise... as we cut to a POV shot speeding through the woods towards William's back.

William looks rather nervous as he hefts his axe while a figure in full plate rides at him on a motorbike... with a lance.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

William holds his ground, raising his axe, as Jourdan bears down on him with a lance... then holds out his taser and fires!

The darts strike the knight's breastplate and shoot twenty thousand volts through him.

He flies backwards off his stolen bike and sprawls on his back, shuddering.

The taser whines as its charge runs out. William and Matthew approach warily. Then Jourdan gets up.

He draws his sword and advances, steam rising from his joints.

Then he gets hit by a monstrous hairy figure.

Matthew: Oh my G- oh, it's him.

Andy snarls as Jourdan slashes at him with his sword, howls in pain as he headbutts him on the snout.

Then Jake charges in, his own sword raised.

Jourdan shoves Andy aside and kicks Jake off. He rolls, lands badly and slams his head into the ground.

Jourdan stalks towards him, but Andy charges him from the side and slows his advance as he pushes him away.

Jake raises a hand, and focuses his power to tear Jourdan's armour off. The breastplate spins around, levels with Jourdan's neck, then he ducks as it flies at him and it buries itself in the side of a tree.

Matthew takes a shot, striking Jourdan in the leg. Emma runs back, looks understandably surprised, and tries to think of a spell. Natalie loads her crossbow.

Andy takes a punch in the face and stumbles away, growling. William swings his axe, getting the knight in the back. Then Andy stumbles forwards, grabs his head and pulls.

Jourdan's sword and the remains of his armour crash to the ground as his body explodes into centuries-old dust.

Jake limps over to the sword and picks it up. His vision is filled with images of blood, warfare, beheadings. He drops it, his hand jerking away convulsively.

Jake: Yeah.

William looks at the scattered armour.

William: I'm sure the archaeologists will be interested in all this.
Jake: Nah, nah nah nah.
William: What, why?
Emma: Well, for one thing, how do we explain how it got here?
William: Oh. Er...
Jake: Besides, it's had a vampire inside it for five hundred years. It might have picked up a few bad vibes. Probably not the kinda thing you want in a museum.
Matthew: Well...
Jake: Okay, maybe a Watcher museum.
Andy: C'mon, let's take this guy's bike home.

Jake nods slightly as he pulls the breastplate out of the tree.

On the way home Jake lies in the back, an ice pack on his head. Emma looks over at him, concerned...

CREDITS!
GRR! ARG!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Escher V/O: Next time, on The Watch House:

Andy chatting with a dark-haired girl.

Jake and Emma sharing a look.

Andy chatting with a fair-haired girl.

William and Charlotte sharing a look.

Sunita grimacing as she examines a demon corpse.

Sunita: He's been shot...

Andy stalking through the woods, seen through a sniper scope...

Escher V/O: The next episode of The Watch House is On The Hunt.

--
DVD Commentary

(The opening scene)
Craig: This isn't just here because we had some money spare. War is something of an ongoing theme in this season. Plus, y'know, it looks really cool.

(Natalie dragging Matthew around)
Derek: What is going on with those two?
Craig: Obviously something is. I mean, even Charlotte sees that.

(Reverend Dean)
Craig: Ah, The Creepy Red Herring Vicar. It was that or The Vicar Who Gets Killed, and I thought this was funnier.

(Jourdan charges William)
Craig: This episode started with the central image of William facing a guy on a motorbike with a lance. The Evil Dead style POV shot as he rides at him... I just couldn't resist.

[Varyar]

Sweet, as always. I love the image of a vampire knight jousting on a motorcycle. Poor doggie :( Good fun. I need to have a castle seige scene.

Ah, I know. mwahahahahahaha.

And next ep, Sunita returns. Yay!

[colbabe]

Hooray for a traditional, down-and-dirty dusting. And an homage to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. :D

[Craig Oxbrow]

Hooray for a traditional, down-and-dirty dusting. And an homage to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. :D
What? Where? :D

[Craig Oxbrow]

The Watch House 3.04: On The Hunt

Jake: psychic musician plagued by visions and memories
William: Watcher in training starting to make his own way
Andy: hereditary lycanthrope who assures us he's in control

Escher: dour Watchers' tutor
Emma: Jake's ex and a somewhat capable spellcaster
Matthew: bookish Prentice fresher
Natalie: horsy Prentice fresher
Charlotte: William's uninformed civilian girlfriend
Sunita: Watcher biologist

Previously, on The Watch House:

Andy transforming under the full moon.
Escher: The Lycanthropus Manticora is quite human when not affected by the change. Which, in this case, he can control.
William: Can he?

--
The welcoming parties for the new academic year are out of the way, and it's time for the first parties of the autumn proper. It's the first night of the first full moon of the new academic year, and that's plenty reason for an event.

Rosalind smiles winningly as she plays hostess.

Rosalind: Jake! Emma! So good to see you again! Charlotte! William, don't you look dashing? And... (pauses on Andy, thinks, looks to Natalie and Matthew) Oh my! Young people!
Jake: Yeah, Matthew and Natalie.
Rosalind: Aaah, the new Classics Society. Terrible business, that. Fiscal irregularities, wasn't it?
William: Er... yeah.

William: I could be home adjusting the double-tap on my taser.
Jake: C'mon and be the life of the party...
William: Civilians. (sighs)
Jake: Dude. I'm a civilian.

Natalie spots someone (played by Keeley Hawes (http://www.keeleyhawes.co.uk/pics%20general/keeley3.jpg)) waves enthusiastically and hurries off. Jake watches an eyebrow as he watches her go and looks for an explanation.

Rosalind: (sniffs dismissively) Abigail Spencer-Churchill. Daughter of a baronet. Goes to St. Catherine's. Head of the bloody pony club.

And as Natalie turns to talk to someone else as well, a girl in red briefly between partners on the dance floor...

Rosalind: Serena Westingham. Fresher. Apparently a rising star of the dance society. Too thin by half.

Andy glances out of the window.

Jake: You feeling alright today?
Andy: Absolutely fine. No problems. Hey, look at that girl in red. Nice... in... red.
Jake: If you start growlin' now I'm puttin' you in a cage.

Matthew lurks at the canapés, endeavouring to be polite as required.

Natalie returns when it's time to go, taking Matthew's arm before he really manages to offer it. Serena comes over as well and appraises the assembled.

Serena: (at Andy) Well... aren't you going to introduce me to Mister Brooding here?
Andy: Oh, um, hello. Andy Sampson. Andrew.
Serena: Charmed...

Abigail passes by as well.

Andy: So, you ride horses then?
Abigail: That would be what a riding club does, yes.
Andy: How many hands?
Abigail: Your hands or mine? Mine, twelve.
Jake: You sound like you know what you're talking about.
Andy: I like... horses.
Jake: Do they like you?
Andy: Uh... (turns back to Abigail) so, what's your control method?
Abigail: Mostly keeping them sweet. But I have a riding crop. (smirks) For the horse.

Jake and Emma watch Andy chat with Abigail, and share a look.

William: Must be pheromones.
Jake: Pheromones?
William: With the moon and all.
Emma: It can't just be his brooding outsider charm?... What?

Natalie chatters away at Matthew as he escorts her to her stair...

Jake: They want to be together. That's sweet.
William: Or he does, anyway.
Jake: He does... just doesn't know what to do. And she can see it...

None of them notice the stealthy figures following them in the dark...

And equally, out in the farmland at the edge of the city, nobody notices movement in the bushes until it charges forwards into the sheep enclosure. The cold air lit by the moon is filled with terrified bleating and hungry snarls.

CREDITS!

[Craig Oxbrow]

(Guest starring Parminder Nagra)

Next morning, Escher looks up slightly from his paper and turns a page as Jake and Andy enter his office.

Jake: Anything going on?
Escher: Nothing out of the ordinary for a full moon weekend. Some mauled sheep in a farm out of town (glances at Andy) and a somewhat unusual number of bicycles in the river...
Andy: I had nothing to do with the bicycles.
Jake: It's okay, he was with us till after midnight.

Andy wanders off towards lunch, and spots Serena.

Andy: Hey! Uh... nice dancing last night.
Serena: Well, y'know, something I do. What about you?
Andy: Well, I do... maths...
Serena: I'm sure if I saw you doing math I'd be impressed too.

They share a smile, and we cut forward to the evening as the group gathers to patrol.

Jake: What are you smiling about?
Andy: I just love patrolling.
Jake: Love it?
Andy: Protecting the good people... like, saw this cute girl again. I wouldn't want her to get jumped by something...
Jake: Hairy?
Andy: Er, well no...
Jake: So you're saving her from you.

Andy: It's a tough job sometimes.
Jake: Got her number?
Andy: Got her room number.
Jake: Well, that's something...
Andy: You smell that?

Andy heads forwards, onto the green, and stops by a suspiciously body-shaped lump on the ground.

Matthew: Is he... dead?
William: Yes. And... it's a Kuval demon.
Andy: He's been shot.
Natalie: Who would do such a thing?
Jake: Apart from us?

The group share a look.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

And we return to a coroner's office, as Sunita Chadha snaps on a pair of latex gloves and examines the dead Kuval.

Sunita: You're right... He's been shot. Twice, in the back. Long range judging by the lack of powder burns. I'd say a sniper rifle, based on the precision of the hits.

William on the phone outside the Basement on-campus club.

William: I see... taking out both its hearts...

Jake: So, what did Sunita say?
William: Sounds like the killer knew what he was doing.
Jake: So, what's a Kuval demon anyway?
William: A fairly typical breed of carnivorous thugs, really. Sometimes used as ground troops in conflicts.
Jake: So what is this... a turf war?
William: Could be.
Jake: Whatever it is, it's somebody bringing guns to our fights. That can't be good news.

As Andy heads up to the bar, he bumps into Abigail.

Abigail: Oh, ah, hello again.

She looks a little surprised (as she glances out the window) then smiles.

Abigail: We weren't really introduced. You're Andy, right? Natalie pointed you out...
Andy: Yeah. Hi.

They talk at the bar... which leads to Serena noticing and heading the other way.

And on the way home it's Andy's turn to be tailed. By Abigail...

A call from Escher wakes William in the morning.

Escher: More sheep mauled last night. And these were right on the edge of town. Best patrol the outlying parks tonight. Perhaps with the tranquilliser guns.

Charlotte looks at him curiously as he gets up.

Charlotte: Vitally urgent business of a Sunday morning?
William: Uh... yeah.

When he arrives, he finds Jake already there.

Jake: I saw something tailing Andy on the way home.
Escher: Andy in particular?
Jake: Could just be because he was the first out.
Escher: Hm. Something to watch out for on patrol.

Andy is woken by a need for some breakfast, and wanders in late carrying a bag of pork scratchings.

Andy: Pig bit?
Escher: No, thank you... more livestock mauled in the night.
Andy: Uh, well, it's mauled humans that get people anxious.
Emma: True...
Andy: And we have dogs in this country, right?
William: Maybe you scared them all out of the city and they have to live wild.

Everyone looks at him.

William: Uh... anyway, keep an eye out this evening.
Emma: As well as the people shooting demons.
Jake: That too.
Emma: And in the meantime...
Jake: We could... go to lectures and stuff.
Emma: It's Sunday.
William: It's one of those weeks.

William: Anyway, I've got things to do at the lab. Y'know, reconfigure the taser, strengthen the base unit, check the output of the charge...
Emma: Well, be careful. Y'know, don't hold it without gloves.

Jake: We're gonna grab a smoke.
Andy: And I think I'll check in on the riding club...
Emma: Pheromones.
Jake: Better be careful, he hasn't been fed yet.
Andy: Hey! That's not it at all...
Emma: It isn't?

Andy picks up a familiar scent as he goes. Tracking it to its source, he finds Abigail doing her best to look inconspicuous.

Andy: Why are you following me?
Abigail: Well! I really don't know what you mean!

And across the quad, too far away to hear them but with a good view of them talking, Serena frowns slightly and heads off in another direction...

As Abigail storms off, seeming affronted, Andy shakes his head and heads off in another direction, catching up with Serena.

Andy: Wait up!
Serena: Er...
Andy: Spotted you running off.
Serena: I wasn't running, I was just... going.
Andy: Are you doing anything today?
Serena: Well, I have a recital I'm going to in the afternoon.
Andy: Oh! Um.
Serena: If you would... like to join me?
Andy: (blinks) Sure! Right! Yes. Well...

He returns to the office with a spring in his step. And doesn't notice that Abigail is, indeed, watching him.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Jake looks askance at Andy as he returns to the office.

Andy: Got her number this time.
Jake: Oh yeah?
Andy: We're going to a recital.
Emma: What kind?
Andy: Uh... I heard recital, I assumed poetry.
Jake: Just you and her, or... just you and her and a bunch of her friends?
Andy: I believe so...
Emma: Which one?
Andy: One of those.
Jake: But you don't know.
Andy: I could ask...
Emma: Yeah, but that'd be really uncool.
Jake: So would turning up with flowers and there's a bunch of her mates there.
Andy: I...
Jake: Quick work on her part. I thought you were going to the pony club.
Andy: ... Oh yeah. (shrugs) That'll wait.

And a shot of Abigail checking her saddlebags and unpacking a rifle.

Jake: So many women, so little time...
Andy: Hey, it's not my fault.
Jake: Of course not, firing off your fairy gnomes...
Andy: Right. Well, whatever it is, I should probably have a shower.

And as he runs off...

Jake: It always amazes me that he doesn't just shake himself dry...

Be that as it may, a cleaned-up Andy arrives to find that Serena has indeed come with a sizeable group. He settles himself in for an afternoon of remaining conscious, while Abigail slides into a seat behind him, his view blocked by a column as he turns around...

Meanwhile, Sunita puts one of the recovered bullets under a microscope, talking into a Dictaphone.

Sunita: .35 rifle... bloody huge... marks on the bullet... what are those - that's a cross...

Cut to the evening as the group prepares for a night patrol, with Matthew struggling with a tranq gun, and Natalie taking it off him and carrying it nonchalantly. Andy pauses, sniffs, and dashes off into the darkness.

Jake: Andy!
Natalie: We really should get him a leash.

And then we hear a crashing and thundering from the undergrowth. Hooves.

Three men on horseback, in dark outdoor clothing. They rein in their dark horses and peer down at the group, spreading out to encircle them. The handles of rifles jut out from harnesses on their saddles.

Their leader, a thin man with a grey beard (played by Jonathan Pryce (http://www.jamesbondfilme.de/autogramme/autogramm_pryce.jpg)) reins in his black stallion and studies the Watch.

Hunter: Ah. Yes! Watchers, is it?
William: We were out, uh, walking our dog. Seems to have wandered off.
Jake: Bit late for a ride, isn't it?
Hunter: Thought as much. Watchers. Chasing the beast, then? Well, be good boys and girls and don't get in the way of a clean shot, eh?

And as he says this, we see Andy through a sniper's scope...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

We cut back to the three horsemen surrounding the Watch.

Jake: Didn't catch your name.
Hunter: No. Have a good evening.

With that, the hunters spur on their horses.

Jake: Okay, what's going on? Anyone?
Matthew: Well, they know who we are and they're armed, and it sounds like they're chasing this thing.
Jake: Great. But who the hell are they?
William: And where's Andy?

A closeup of a tranquilliser gun being fired, and a dart striking dark-furred flesh accompanied by a snarl and a thud.

And Andy looks up, narrows his eyes and inhales, then turns and runs into the dark... until he runs across Abigail. Dressed for the outdoors (http://www.keeley-hawes.co.uk/pages/gallery/magazines/magazinesimages/g028.jpg). Wielding a rifle. Retrieving a dart from a large dark shape on the ground. She looks up and levels the business end of the gun at him.

Abigail: Close enough. This is a tranquilliser gun. The one on my hip isn't.
Andy: Right. Uh...
Abigail: Silver bullets, before you get any bright ideas.
Andy: Ah... uhm...

Hearing raised voices, the others catch up.

Jake: Okay, what's the head of the pony club doing with a gun and silver bullets? Natalie?

Natalie shrugs, looking like she has no idea.

Jake: Can you even keep a secret at all?
Natalie: Yes! I went to the Academy, you know!
Jake: You don't just go blabbing to absolutely everybody?
Natalie: No!
Jake: Only when it's politically expedient for you?
Natalie: No! And I resent the implication!

They glare at each other, then Jake turns as he hears hoofbeats coming closer.

The leader of the hunt hands the reins to his second and then levels a rifle at Andy.

Abigail steps out of the wood, raising and levelling a rifle. The leading huntsman looks... annoyed.

Hunter: Abigail.
Abigail: Uncle.
Andy: Uncle?!

Abigail: Bagged your beast. It's just a bloody panther.
Hunter: I see. Hm. Nice shot. All the same, I told you not to come.
Abigail: Yes, I know, the hunt is no place for a girl...
Hunter: I didn't say that.
Abigail: You didn't have to.
Hunter: Say hello to your mother for me.

With that, the huntsmen ride off.

Jake: You can tell your uncle and his crowd this area's covered.

And we cut to Escher nodding slightly as the tranquillised panther is loaded into an RSPCA van.

Escher: A hunting society. I should have remembered. They've been loosely affiliated with the Council for two centuries.
Sunita: Blessed bullets, good for five major religions.
Escher: They're in it for the thrill of the chase. Lunatics - no offence, Miss Spencer-Churchill.
Abigail: None taken. I don't even want to join, just prove that I should be allowed to. I find it all rather silly. Secret societies hunting monsters...
Jake: Quite.

And we cut to her uncle sitting by a fire, swirling a snifter of brandy with a frown. He looks up and confers with the man in the opposite armchair.

Hunter: Just a panther, and not even a panther to show for it. Poor showing, all round.
Shadowy Figure: Not to worry. You have the measure of the group now. Just in case. Especially the wolf.
Hunter: Just in case. Quite so, Mister Travers.

And Quentin Travers, the Watchers' master of security, raises his glass.

Travers: In case our sources are right... and there is a war coming.

CREDITS!
GRR! ARG!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Next time, on The Watch House:

Jake wrapping a cross necklace around his fist.

William loading up on crosses, stakes and holy water.

Andy growling.

Emma running through the dark.

Charlotte (in an evening dress) arching an eyebrow as William (in a suit) steps between her and someone else.

The next episode of The Watch House is Hiding From The Light.

--

DVD Commentary:

Craig: This is a little bit of a sneak preview. Lord Spencer-Churchill and his society will be making a more significant appearance at a later date, and not actually in this show. You'd have to ask our executive producer, Mr. Darlington, about that.

[Varyar]

DVD Commentary:

Craig: This is a little bit of a sneak preview. Lord Spencer-Churchill and his society will be making a more significant appearance at a later date, and not actually in this show. You'd have to ask our executive producer, Mr. Darlington, about that.

But I wanna know nooooooow!

Great episode. Vaguely sinister rival groups to the Watcher = kewl.

[thenewgirl]

Brilliant. As always.
:)

*weeps loudly*
wah!!! I miss my Buffy game!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

[SteveD]

But I wanna know nooooooow!

Great episode. Vaguely sinister rival groups to the Watcher = kewl.

If you wanna know, buy ESP Issue 5 - there are EIGHT sinsister rival groups, including time-travelling robots.

Great stuff as always, Craig. And thank you so much for using the Hunt Club!

Steve

[colbabe]

*weeps loudly*
wah!!! I miss my Buffy game!!!!!!!!!!!! :(
Me too! Waaah!

Silver bullets? Bah. Try that good ol' jade...

[Varyar]

If you wanna know, buy ESP Issue 5 - there are EIGHT sinsister rival groups, including time-travelling robots.

Me, buy an Eden product? That's just unheard of ;)

[SteveD]

Me too! Waaah!

Silver bullets? Bah. Try that good ol' jade...

Stop crying or you won't get any warhammer!

[thenewgirl]

*pout*
*whimper*

but... it's Buffy....:(

[Craig Oxbrow]

If you wanna know, buy ESP Issue 5 - there are EIGHT sinsister rival groups, including time-travelling robots.

Great stuff as always, Craig. And thank you so much for using the Hunt Club!

Steve
And there was me being careful and not using their name. :D

Thank you, thank you.

3.05 already written, up once 3.06 goes into final edit.

[Varyar]

3.05 already written, up once 3.06 goes into final edit.

Yay! Finish it now now now now now :D

[Craig Oxbrow]

The Watch House 3.05: Hiding From the Light

Jake: psychic musician plagued by visions and memories
William: Watcher in training starting to make his own way
Andy: hereditary lycanthrope who assures us he's in control

Escher: dour Watchers' tutor
Emma: Jake's ex and a somewhat capable spellcaster
Matthew: bookish Prentice fresher
Natalie: horsy Prentice fresher
Charlotte: William's uninformed civilian girlfriend

Previously, on The Watch House:

Escher looking over a map of Cambridge, with an irregular seven-pointed shape drawn over it.

Escher: We are protected by a mystical warding shield... Vampires and other "ungodly possessing demons" cannot enter...

A hand holding a glowing amulet on a loose necklace.

William: He had an amulet that let him pass through the Shield.

Victoria Valdermar passing glowing amulets out to a group of vampires.

--
Philip Nevins quickens his pace as he crosses the green. There's definitely someone following him... And now there's someone in front of him. Yellow eyes gleam in the dark...

Philip Nevins lies in the drawer at the coroner's office. Doctor Brown looks at the wounds on his neck and grimaces. He picks up the telephone and dials a number from memory.
Brown: There's a problem... a vampire attack. Inside your Shield.

CREDITS!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Jake grimaces as Escher sets down the phone.

Jake: It got through the shield?
William: Apparently, yes.
Jake: Not again. The shield's like tissue paper.
Matthew: So he got in and just killed someone?
Andy: Can't they do something original with this power?

William: Can we tell if it's still working at all?
Jake (growling): Throw a vamp at it, see if it bounces.
William: I was thinking of a less extreme test.
Jake: It'd be fun...
Andy: I'll go scout around the area.
Jake: I guess we can go see the coroner. I'm sure he'll be happy to see us, as he always is. Just one death?
Emma: So far.

Cut to the coroner's office. Doctor Brown opens the door for the group arriving.

Andy: Hello Mister Coroner.
Jake: Doctor Brown.
Brown: Yes, yes, come in. The body was in situ.
Matthew: He looks pretty... dead.
Brown: Yes, he would.

Jake gingerly taps Nevins's body on the forehead.

A thin-faced man in a black coat. A glimpse of a snarling vampire face. A feeling of falling, and the man standing over us, wiping blood from his lips and then looking around warily.

Jake blinks and shivers.

Jake: He only saw one of them

His hand is still shaking as he draws a rough sketch of the vampire's human face.

William: So, anything unusual? Apart from the vampires...
Jake: Just the one.
Brown (flatly): So far.
Jake: We'll try and keep it that way. Right?
William: Right. So, where was it?
Brown: On the green by Trinity.

Back in the office, Jake paces restlessly.

William: How many ways through the shield do we know? Magic? Amulets?
Jake: Didn't see an amulet.
William: So, someone forcing the issue?
Jake: Can we tell if there's been any forcing?
Escher: We can't.
William: Emma can tell, right?
Jake: They could also be vamps they made earlier, just popping their heads up now.
Matthew: Earlier?
William: If you create a vampire inside the Shield, that vampire may be immune to its effects. In theory.
Escher: Let's hope this isn't a test.
William: You gonna call her?

Jake nods and retrieves his phone.

Emma duly arrives, looks over the map and blows coloured sand across it.

Emma: Shield's up, captain.
Jake: But you can't tell if it's been forced open?
Emma: Not that I can see.
Jake: Call our wicca friends and double check.
Escher: Anyway, this is all we can do today. I'd suggest going to lectures, then an early patrol inside the boundary.

William heads upstairs to Professor Kelly's lecture on the Enlightenment, and sits by Charlotte.

Charlotte: Are we still on for tonight?
William: ... Well, yeah, sure.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Jake receives a call.

William: You guys can survive without me, right?
Jake: Yeah...
William: I totally forgot I'm taking Charlotte to a play.
Jake: Oh. Well, have fun.

The group meet up before patrolling. William leaves his axe behind.

Andy: How many vamps have you dusted with that axe? Or is it just for show?
William: Well, I'm sure it's intimidated some of them. (picking it up, chopping the air)
Andy: Yeah. I'm intimidated.

Jake: So we're looking for a vampire, or vampires, with some power we don't know about.
Andy: The demon always says there's some great mysterious power behind all this.
Emma: Just the two of you?
William: Going to the theatre. (looks at his shoes)
Andy: We're old hands. We'll be fine.
Emma: Never say something like that.
Jake: He's not worried. (to Andy) No wolfin' out in public.
Emma: Now he's worried.
Jake: Wanna come?
Emma: Really not. I mean, I can, but... you should ask Matthew and Natalie.

Jake looks at the reading desk where Matthew sits, paging through an issue of Blade.

Jake: Do we really have to?
Emma: Safety in numbers.
Jake: I'd have to look out for them. Matthew's not a fighter and Natalie's...
Emma: Too much of one?
Jake (quietly): yeah.

Andy picks up his baseball bat.

Andy: Hey, how's that taser?
William: Haven't had a chance to test the refinements on... I was about to say 'live' targets...
Andy: I prefer the old-fashioned way.
Escher: If you really did, that would be a cricket bat. Less conspicuous around here, as well.
Jake: We could start a baseball team.
William: Pretend to be golfers?
Jake: Have you seen the way golfers dress?
William: I never thought it was that bad.
Jake: Yeah, you never thought it...

William: Right. I have to get going.
Jake: It's just a couple vamps, it's fine. Keep your secret identity.
William: I think I should tell her...
Emma: Maybe...
Andy: Nah, tell her you're with another woman.
Jake: ... We got your number if something comes up.
William: Right.
Andy: We gonna patrol or just talk about it?
Emma: On you go.
Jake: Door's right there.
Andy: Lead the way... Matthew.
Matthew: ... I was going to stay and research.
Jake: Come on.
Emma: It'll be fine.
Jake: Maybe we should get neck guards.
Andy: Or tattoo crosses around our necks!
Emma: Yeah, that'd be inconspicuous.
William: Come on, I'll go with you on the way to my room.

The patrol starts around Trinity, where Nevins died. Andy pauses by the ground, then looks up and bares his teeth. Whatever those two are they aren't vampires. They're too green and spiky, for one thing.

Jake: We could go up and talk to them. They look a bit lonely...
Emma: Oh yeah, good plan.

The demons look up as the Watch approach.

Jake: Evening, gentlemen. Just visiting?

They look at the group for a moment, share a look, then hiss and charge. Drawing short swords. One of them taking up a shield.

Andy meets them halfway, driving them back towards the trees at the edge of the green. The rest race after him.

Jake: What are they? And what do we do to them? - Ow!

One of them smacks Jake across the back of the head with the pommel of his sword as he shouts behind him.

Matthew: Not that!
Jake: ... Smartarse!

Emma raises her hands and the demon is shoved off-balance by a wall of force, giving Jake time to get up.

Andy swings his bat into the second demon's shield. Jake parries the demon swordsman and presses him back. Andy staggers back as the second demon slashes him across the arm. His eyes light up and he grits his teeth.

Matthew tries to load his crossbow. William covers him with his axe.

Jake jars the sword out of the demon's hand and brings his foot down on it as he lunges to grab it.

Jake: Uh-uh!

He brings his sword down on the demon and it ruptures, covering the ground with brown and white fluid. He steps back to avoid getting any on his shoes.

Jake: Worse'n seagulls... Anybody got a hose?

Andy snarls and rears up to charge the remaining demon. Focusing his thoughts, Jake raises a hand and pins the demon against a tree with his thoughts.

Jake: Find out what it wants!

Andy blinks and his eyes are human again, and he looks a little disappointed.

Jake rubs his jaw, groaning in pain. As he does, the demon slides down the tree, then springs forwards, sword raised.

Emma: Watch out for the -

Andy spins and smashes the demon's skull in.

Emma: - oh, never mind.
Andy: Bugger. Got nothing out of that...
William: Bomahls. With swords. Odd.
Andy: Yeah, because spiky demon things being unarmed is totally normal.
William: Well, they normally go after weak targets and don't bother with weapons unless they're expecting combat...

Emma: You okay?
Jake: Yeah, fine. Fine. Thanks for the help.

Jake looks at the bubbling, dissipating splatters of fluid.

Jake: So these can just get through the shield normally?
William: I'm not sure. Uh... I can stay, if you want. Help with the patrol.
Jake: What are you, my mother? It's fine...
William: Right... See you later then.

He hands over his axe to Jake, and his stakes to Emma.

And as the group split up to go home, we pull back to a thin-faced man watching them... then stepping back into the dark.

William, in suit and tie, knocks on Charlotte's door, straightening his tie as he waits. She answers with a smile, wearing a long powder blue evening dress.

William: Now I feel underdressed.
Charlotte: Too much?
William: No, it's-it's, you look lovely.
Charlotte (smiling): Thank you.

They reach the theatre, he opens the door for her and they step inside. We cut back to the office, and Escher on the phone. Then to patrol, and Jake rubbing his jaw and trying to hang on to a cigarette. William and Charlotte watching, he looking sidelong at her with a smile. Emma looking sidelong at Jake with a concerned frown. Matthew wandering along behind. Andy glaring at the rip in his shirt as his cut heals quickly. And back to William holding the door for Charlotte during the intermission, and heading over to the bar. Where a thin-faced man sits next to him and smirks.

William: Are you who I think you are?
Vampire: Please, no autographs...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

William: So what are you here to do... apart from kill people?
Vampire: I can do that anywhere. I'm here to warn you.
William (flatly): Warn me.
Vampire: It's a "good time to leave town" sort of thing.
William: So, you're just taunting us before we kill you?
Vampire: ... She seems very nice.

William follows his gaze to see Charlotte still in line for the ladies' room.

Vampire: I wonder how she'd look in black.
William: Lay a finger on her...
Vampire: I see, like that is it? Bit of a sore spot for you, obviously. Well then, I'll just be on my way. Pleasure talking to you.

William watches him go, and stealthily turns on his phone.

Jake: What's up?
William: I think our vampire's at the play. Or possibly an entirely different bad guy.
Jake: So what do we do?
William: Note to self. Bring holy water next time I come to the theatre.

Jake informs Andy.

Andy: So what do we do, attack him?
Jake: We won't go in. I wouldn't want to interrupt their date. Just get a scent.
Andy: Vampires usually smell like earth. Well, apart from that girl -
Jake (interrupting): Right.

Jake: Let's pick up Natalie and look around.

Natalie: So will he still be around?
Jake: He might have a car.
Matthew: Cheating bastard.
Andy: How come bad guys never have to make do with bicycles or skateboards?

They return to the office. Jake drops his sword on the desk.

Jake: Got away. Again.
Escher: Right. I would suggest not going home alone.

Jake nods as he answers his phone.

William: Did you find him?
Jake: Sorry.
William: He came right up to me... said he was there to warn me.
Jake: About what?
William: Nothing in particular... Then he said something about Charlotte.
Jake: Good way to get to you.
William: I'm gonna walk her home.
Jake: Don't leave her alone tonight. If there's any trouble we can be nearby. And we can be subtle about it. I'll leave a bag with a stake by her door. Anyway... have a good night.
William: ... Thanks.

He looks back to the group.

Andy: So if we kill him, can I take his ca