[D&D 3.5] Actual Play: The Ring of Darak

[Curt]

Last night Heronymus started a classic D&D campaign. The game is set on his homebrewed version of Niven’s Ringworld (albeit a much smaller Ringworld) and more specifically, in the floating city of Ninespires.

Last night was mostly devoted to character creation and we ended up with the following party:

Inga, an Orcish fighter with an attitude, played by RPG.net’s Torawashi.

Sloknar, a Kobold monk with dominance issues, played by VoiceofIsaac.

Larkspur, a Halfling paladin who could best be described as a pintsized David Niven, played by me.

Topaz, a shady Halfling sorcerer played by Whatismagic.

Gaius, a Human rogue who is apparently the Hannibal to this motley little A-Team, played by JasonHinds.

Character creation went smoothly, though it did take about three hours to get four characters rolled up, assigned skills and feats and equipped. Thanks to the feats, our two melee heavy hitters are nothing alike even though they both favor the great axe. Inga is a straight up ‘chop in half and keep going’ gal and Larkspur is more focused on mounted combat.

In our brief introductory session, we discovered a few things about our hapless heroes….

Gaius is the clerk and general dogsbody for a wizard who is (in typical wizardly fashion) long on theory and short on personality. Jason’s comment was ‘think Ningauble of the seven eyes crossed with the pointed-haired boss from Dilbert’. He leaves a note for Gaius to assemble the usual suspects and show up at the HQ of the local ruling body. The clerk sighs and stops off first to pick up ….

Larkspur, paladin of Onyx (the Halfling goddess of travelers and protection). Larkspur was enjoying a quiet morning of light gardening and meditation in the temple when Gaius started knocking at the second story windows. After convincing himself that Gaius would do more harm without a moral guidepost, Larkspur threw on his breastplate, grabbed his axe and started to leave.

Only to find that the leader of his order had saddled him with a squire. A thirteen year old girl named Lotusblossom. Unable to shake her without disobeying his masters, Larkspur let her tag along. The riding leopard she owned did nothing to reassure him that she wouldn’t be a problem. We left to pick up the other Halfling in the quarter ….

Topaz was having an exciting morning already. The group arrived just in time to see a female associate of his depart in a huff. After hearing Gaius’ pitch (gold!), he agreed to come along and gave the young squire a sly look and the question, “How old are you, anyway?” The response came from Larkspur, who had a sudden urge to sharpen his great axe, all the while staring steadily at Topaz. Topaz responded quickly enough with “Ah. That old.”

That having been settled, we went to the Market district to pick up ….

Inga, a strapping Orcish warrior and occasional carver of curios. The thought of a little adventure excited her and she quickly joined up. Topaz promptly hit upon her and was told in no uncertain terms, “I will break you, little man.” Larkspur nodded approvingly and told his young squire that she could do worse than Inga when it came to role models.

And we were off pick up our last member, Sloknar. Who was engaged in a pit fight at the time. The diminutive Kobold defeated his opponent and greeted Gaius, who he considers the undisputed leader of our little band.

Gaius also noticed that we were being trailed by a human in a brown cloak. He asked if anyone else had seen the man and the two Halflings, the Orc and the Kobold all agreed that Humans all pretty much look alike to them, so they hadn’t seen anything special.

After a little wrangling, the monk joined up and we headed for the Spire of Thrones.

Essentially the hall of government for the whole country, the Spire of Thrones was not the usual place you’d find a pack of motley adventurers. Which is probably why they had us take the back way up to the office of one of the most powerful men in the government.

Our mission, as it turned out, was worryingly simple: Take a scroll to the roughest neighborhood in the city, wait for a response, return with same. Hardly sounded like something that would require an entire party ….

Which is why we started to worry.

--------------------------------------------------------------

It was a brief session, but we really managed to see that everybody already had a distinct ‘voice’ and style for their characters and the group dynamic was already working well. Looks like it is going to be a fun game.

[Heronymus]

As the GM, I have to say that the quality of players is impressive.

This was a chance for everyone to step away from the serious role-playing and kill some stuff...and all of the players brought out fully formed, interesting, and active characters who interact naturally and organically with each other. That they haven't killed stuff yet is entirely my fault.

I'm looking forward to next Monday, when I'm more organized and able to really screw--er, make things interesting for the characters.

Mine is an evil laugh! Bwah hah hah hah!

[theCimmerian]

(Subscribing solely to follow future progress.)

Nifty.

[Dalton]

This sounds like so much fun. Keep us updated.

Nick

[Jason Hinds]

This was not a good day for Gaius Livius Sulla. He gets stuck with poison darts, a poisoned stilletto and has a band of assassins sent to retrieve the message he's carrying. Thanks to his team, he stumbles upon a secret entrance to where he was going in the first place (though he was unaware of it at the time). All he wants to do is deliver his message, get his money, and go home. Compared to the hit-people members of the team, and even the non-hit-people members of the team, he's a greedy coward who would rather avoid trouble instead of face it head-on.

His general response to being anywhere near peril? "LA LA LA I'M NOT SEEING OR HEARING ANYTHING HERE! LA LA LA NOT MY BUSINESS TO SNOOP!"

His merry band of adventurers? Oh, no... they're curious. They're interested in why someone would create a secret entrance.

Steve Buscemi is playing the part of Gaius in the movie.

[Heronymus]

This was not a good day for Gaius Livius Sulla. He gets stuck with poison darts, a poisoned stilletto and has a band of assassins sent to retrieve the message he's carrying. Thanks to his team, he stumbles upon a secret entrance to where he was going in the first place (though he was unaware of it at the time). All he wants to do is deliver his message, get his money, and go home. Compared to the hit-people members of the team, and even the non-hit-people members of the team, he's a greedy coward who would rather avoid trouble instead of face it head-on.

His general response to being anywhere near peril? "LA LA LA I'M NOT SEEING OR HEARING ANYTHING HERE! LA LA LA NOT MY BUSINESS TO SNOOP!"

His merry band of adventurers? Oh, no... they're curious. They're interested in why someone would create a secret entrance.

Poor Gaius. You realize, of course, he's being set up for this. I've been thinking about Prestige Classes, and something Curt and I talked about on the ride home last night was the Conspiracist, who sees persecution and conspiracy in every corner. I think it'd be perfect for Gaius...

Steve Buscemi is playing the part of Gaius in the movie.

And Larkspur is being played by a half-size David Niven. Heh.

[Torawashi]

Inga, on the other hand, will be designed and portrayed by the Henson Creature Shop. :D

[Curt]

Well, as Jason mentioned, last night was a little trying for our token human.

The city of Ninespires is basically on a giant floating disk. The topside of which is fairly respectable and the bottom, not so much. To reach the undercity, one must travel through the disk, which is fairly thick. (About thirty meters deep as I recall.)

On the way down the stairs through the disk, Gaius heard voices through the walls. Which really wasn’t supposed to happen, because as far as anyone knows, the disk is solid. Against his rather sound advice that we keep moving, the party voted to investigate and found that there was a secret passage built into the very disk itself. A secret passage guarded by an annoying falling blade trap. Happily, the damage was absorbed by the taller members of the party (Inga and Gaius) and the normal sized people (the Halflings and Kobold) avoided damage entirely.

Opening the passage revealed a short hallway and what we later discovered to be a sort of magic elevator shaft. After a bit of misadventure in which we discovered that riding dogs can’t jump well, we followed the shaft down and found a store room. Unfortunately, our passage was not unnoticed and we had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of two Orcs who were unhappy to see us. Negotiations on passage were flowing smoothly, if not well, when one of those Orcs decided to pick up the Kobold and throw him out bodily. At that point, as gentlemen (and a lady) of honor, we were obliged to assist our comrade.

The resultant brawl was bloody and brief and we discovered that Orcs, much like most other people, have surprisingly vulnerable legs. At this point, Inga pointed out that technically, we might be in the wrong and trespassing. Larkspur thought this over and used detect evil on the Orcs. As they lacked the stench of evil, we deemed it unseemly to continue hacking them up and apologized most profusely while tossing them a couple of healing potions and our sincere wishes for a better day and then departed back up the shaft.

The undercity was as disreputable as one might guess from the name but the journey to our destination (a tavern and inn called The Shades) was uneventful except for our mysterious brown cloaked stalker, who vanished when Sloknar attempted to track him down.

Fortunately, this person presented himself to us just before we reached out destination. Unfortunately, he demanded that we surrender our message to him. Larkspur, unsure of the moral underpinnings of attacking everyone we meet who hinders us, once again used his divine ability to detect evil. The brown cloaked fellow (who introduced himself as Farouk ibn Faisal) fairly reeked of it. This was the happiest of coincidences, given that the party was quite willing to go through the gentleman if need be.

Farouk took first attack and proved by his use of poison that he was no gentleman. His companion, a druidically inclined Kobold who dropped from the overhangs above was little better. The two put up a good fight but thanks largely to Gaius and Inga they were dispatched in a regrettably piecemeal fashion. The other companions went to complete their business while Larkspur waited with the bodies to make a full report to the local guard.
The message was delivered and the party discovered that the Orcs that we …differed with… earlier were in the employ of the man to whom we delivered the message, one Ali ibn Suffach. He dismissed the group while he prepared a suitable reply and Larkspur met the group back in the tavern. They had thoughtfully arranged the attentions of a Halfling courtesan for the Paladin. He remarked happily that his was not a celibate order and accepted the bounty in the spirit in which it was offered (and was happy to find that the young woman was also a follower of Onyx, being in her own way, also a person who provided succor for travelers).

We returned to the Tower of Thrones with the return message given to us by the owner of The Shades and were given a bit of coin for our trouble. It seemed like a reasonably pleasurable and well-done morning’s work and we were congratulating one another as we went back down the stairs. Which is when the top of the tower exploded in a massive fireball that left no survivors. Suffach’s response was apparently a bit heated.

And so the session closed, with the party being the last people of record to visit the man who was widely accorded to be the most important member of the nation’s government directly before he was assassinated.

And everything was going so well until we got to the explodey part.

[Heronymus]

I would point out, as the GM, that I underestimated CONSIDERABLY the power level of the PCs; the two NPCs they were dealing with were supposed to be much more deadly than they actually were. The loot they got off the baddies is really quite valuable.

That said, I had a blast, and the Exalted experience that some of the players have encourages some very interesting attack descriptions...especially the Monk.

I'm not sure I've yet found my "voice" as a GM with this group. Everyone is quite impressive as players, I will say.

Now things get fun.

[Lizard]

How can it work without Thrug? Or "You're not on the list"?

[Curt]

How can it work without Thrug? Or "You're not on the list"?

The bouncer at The Shades was named Thrug. He wasn't that impressive. ;)

[Lizard]

The bouncer at The Shades was named Thrug. He wasn't that impressive. ;)

Obviously, someone of no relation.

And why didn't I get a message indicating someone had replied to this thread? Hmmm...methinks gmail is acting wonky again.

[Curt]

Obviously, someone of no relation.


Wellllll, we also didn't fight him as much as basically follow him around. But there were a lot of rebellious looks and very stern (if subvocalized) words.

[Heronymus]

Wellllll, we also didn't fight him as much as basically follow him around. But there were a lot of rebellious looks and very stern (if subvocalized) words.

Yeah, well, let's just say that Thrug has hidden depths.

And they're not quite to The List yet.

[Wakshaani]

I'm curious what level these little fellows are.

I'm also getting quite jealous of Curt's writing ability.

I claim his hands upon his death. They might proove ... useful.

[Curt]

I'm curious what level these little fellows are.

I'm also getting quite jealous of Curt's writing ability.

I claim his hands upon his death. They might proove ... useful.

The PCs started off at level 2 and we haven't advanced yet. The bad guys were around level 5, I believe.

Also, you are more than welcome to my hands when I'm done with them. Assuming that I don't get a whole post-mortum 'Creeping Claw' thing going. :D

[Curt]

This chronicle will now continue from the viewpoint of Adham Abbas al Qahar, due to an unfortunate and untimely realization of metaphysical goals on the part of Sir Hyacinth Larkspur.

As one might infer from the preceding paragraph, our diminutive Halfling Paladin become one with the cosmos early in tonight’s session. The game started immediately after the party escaped a fiery death in the fireball that apparently wiped out the city politician and most of his staff.

While the rest of the party wished to flee, Larkspur wanted to stay and make his report to the local guards, implicating Ali, the crime lord we met, in the assassination and confessing to unwittingly carrying the lethal bomb. To that end, he presented himself to the guard and their mage leader instantly when they arrived.

Said leader got as far as ‘assassination’ before he was apparently possessed and tossed a disintegrate spell, reducing Larkspur to the sort of fine dust one would find under one’s bed. The rest of the party ran like hell. Sloknar and Gaius ran back to Gaius’ master’s house, only to find that he was most likely assassinated as well and the Guard crawling all over the building. Inga undertook telling the temple of Onyx that they were short (heh heh) one Paladin and was offered temporary sanctuary. She soon left to find her friends and bring them there.

Meanwhile, Ali summoned Abbas to his quarters and told him to go take his regrets to the messengers, along with a sum of gold, his sovereign word that he did not take part in the assassination and an offer of help to the party. Using a magic map, Abbas was able to track them down and deliver said message shortly after Inga arrived and after providing the gold and a small bit of healing he was accepted as a conditional member of the group.

The party traveled to the temple of Onyx, where they unhappy to see Abbas, as his patron deity has an unfortunate and undeserved reputation. None the less, having offered sanctuary, they made good on the offer, if only by teleporting the party into the Undercity (Onyx is a god of travel and her priests have such abilities).

They decided to teleport to Ali’s storeroom and after a night of Sloknar interpreting the exotic dancers as martial artists going through drills (his species reproduces in a manner much like salmon), they met with Ali again over breakfast and he suggested that they isolate who had audiences with the leader before his untimely demise and find out who his enemies were.

As we prepared for another day in the big city, the session came to a close.

Unfortunately, the funniest part of the evening (Voice of Issac acting out Sloknar’s X-rated ‘kung fu’ moves learned from the dancers) violates most of the good rules of the board and I can’t describe it. Trust me when I tell you it was hilarious.

As always it was a lot of fun, if a bit short tonight. :D

[Heronymus]

Sometimes, my brain is broken, and it comes back to haunt me.

The party is currently hiding out at a sleazy strip joint.

There is dancing and other "entertainment" in the strip joint.

So, naturally, the MOST WRONG THING I could think of is what I mention out loud: an Orc-Halfling combo pole dance.

This has become the basis for the Kobold's martial arts style (remembering that Kobolds are egg-layers and therefore don't really get the whole mammalian obsession with the procreative act...).

Also, Sloknar had figured out that you can track by scent better if you don't smell yourself, and has dedicated himself to the use of soap. The other party members are greatful, as Kobolds, being carrion eaters, tend to give of a particularly malodorous ovure. Interesting cultural note: the kobold word for "perfection" translates literally into Common as "three-days-dead".

Gaius has raised the concept of "tactical retreat" to an artform.

Inga also did a runner, but impressively lithely for a two-metre-tall wall of flesh.

And, I might just say, it is refreshing to have a party who, when faced with implacable and overwhelming odds, runs away.

[Lizard]

And, I might just say, it is refreshing to have a party who, when faced with implacable and overwhelming odds, runs away.

That's only because they didn't have a Celestial Badger. Or a Chuk. I still have problems with my games, in that I instinctively add a 'Chuk Factor' to the CR of encounters.

[Wakshaani]

You need theMount spell.

That thing solves every problem.

[Heronymus]

That's only because they didn't have a Celestial Badger. Or a Chuk. I still have problems with my games, in that I instinctively add a 'Chuk Factor' to the CR of encounters.

Dear Darwin, yes. I've been adjusting for my natural Chuk Factor, and I think I swung too far the other way.

Oh, and for the record: "The List" will be making an appearance next game.

[Heronymus]

Curt is planning on making a more in-depth covering of our adventures last night, but this comment is for Lizard (and for Ben Brown, if he's still around):

I found a New Chuk.

Curt is the New Chuk. He broke my combat with a summoning. A Feindish Dire Ape summoning.

Curt is...the Evil Chuk.

All is good, however; I have a response. They will learn...oh yes, they will learn.

In all seriousness, however, last night was fun. And everyone seems to be having a good time...

[Curt]

I am not Chuk. I am Inukchuk!


Last night was a combat heavy session. Well, with heavy being a relative term.

We started off the evening with our host of the last few days, who may or may not be the man behind the assassination of the late Count running down a list of his enemies, people who might want to see him framed. When narrowed down to those still alive, it was a short list, showing that due care and pride in one’s work pays off in every field.

Next we prepared to find out who had visited the late Count (other than the other members of the party) before his unfortunate (if a bit hypothetical) demise. At this point, Giaus suffered a moment or two of stress and decided to surrender leadership. As my character’s contract was in Gaius’ hands, he helped persuade the party to put our human friend back in charge, eventually.

Meanwhile, said leader tapped a contact at city hall and managed to get a copy of the log made. Hopefully, the names will give us another avenue of investigation.

From there, we went to visit Giaus’ master’s estate agent. She informed Giaus that his former employer (also hypothetically deceased and at this point, one should note that we are racking up more potential corpses than an unfortunate meeting of the Schrödinger fanclub in an ASPCA building) left him a shipping business. Gaius, being the man he is, was momentarily blinded by the twin stars of commerce and a clean getaway.

As we left the office, we encountered another pair of agents bent on our destruction. Well, actually they just wanted the human, but it is bad form to let people hack up your employers. Word gets around and it makes it tough to get a job. In this particular instance, we faced off against a rather large Orc barbarian and his sorcerer kobold sidekick. There were a few ritual exchanges of insult, warning and general threat displays and then we got down to business. And business, as they say in the mortuary trade, was stiff.

The Kobold launched a magic missile spell, plinking each of us for one point. It was … a tactical error. My character summoned Gorefang, a fiendish ape and pointed at the Kobold, saying, “Eat him please.” Gorefang, it should be noted, is not a banana kind of ape. He’s more of an ‘Oh gods, my spleen!’ kind of ape. So he was happy to oblige.

Inga, Giaus and Sloknar took on the Orc. He turned out to be a lot tougher than his companion and their first attacks either missed or barely grazed him. On the other hand, his answering slash played havoc, raking Inga for about half of her total hit points.

In the second round, the ape ripped off the sorcerer’s arm and did a hatdance on his body. If only we could all enjoy the simple pleasures of life the way that nature’s untainted creatures do.

Abbas, figuring that his ape had things in hand, so to speak, cast Bane on the Orc.

Meanwhile, Inga managed to get in a very solid chop, getting the barbarian’s attention. Sloknar demonstrated lizard kung-fu by using Inga’s axe haft as a parallel bar on her backswing, monkey flipping over the barbarian’s head and raking his claws down said barbarian’s back on his way to a perfect three-point landing. Giaus feinted and then nailed the barbarian with a critical from his rapier, sliding the blade in under the armpit.

In the third round, Gorefang began eating the arm he ripped off the sorcerer and continued to stomp on the remains, though with a certain relaxed insouciance at this point. Abbas tried to use a spell to command the barbarian to fall to the ground, but he shrugged it off and went into a berserker rage, swinging a mighty blow that nearly dropped Gaius on the spot.

Inga swung mightily and her axe bit through the barbarian’s armor and rage alike, with a critical for somewhere in the low 30s. We all winced in sympathy for the barbarian. Gaius pinked said barbarian again and then Sloknar climbed him from behind, using his claws as pitons and basically ripped off the barbarian’s head.

Gorefang returned to his Infernal jungle (taking the arm with him) and we cast detect magic, discovering the glow from the bodies of our foes rivaled that of a Fat Elvis rhinestone studded jumpsuit under full stage lighting. We recovered the Phat Lewtz and another summoning disposed of the bodies by feeding them to another friendly fiend, followed up by a quick clean up of the street. Because even when you are on the run, there is no excuse for littering.

We decamped to the shipping company office (Pestilential Shipping, I liked it already) and discovered that the airship in question was a little past her prime. As were the captain and crew.

And with that sad sight, we closed the session, having learned that A) Kobolds are apparently tasty, B) Gaius’ former employer thought well of him C) being on the lamb is actually kind of profitable, if you can manage to harvest the gear of the people being sent to kill you and D) in Heronymus’ game, magic using types can be ugly.

This campaign is very much the classic 'Kill them and take their stuff' style of D&D, which I haven't played in years. While I wouldn't want every campaign to be like this, it makes a nice palate cleanser and just a simple 'Mondays suck, let's kill stuff' way to relax.

[Heronymus]

One of the combat shortcuts Curt came up with was a list, letter coded, of pre-compiled summons. He gave himself five options.

All of them are nasty. ALL OF THEM.

The 15-foot-long centipede was unpleasant. The Fiendish Dire Ape was painful. And the others..., oh the others...

It did make things go LOTS faster, not having people looking stuff up in books and whatnot. Well, that and having all of the good guys make their saves, and all the bad guys failing them.

A lot of the mismatch is due to the fact that we've only been playing for three sessions, and so I don't have a good feel on the party's actual (as opposed to theoretical) power level. That they wiped the floor with a pair of 5th level characters indicates I'm doing something wrong, and I think I've figured out what. I guess we'll see two weeks from yesterday, at the next combat session.

In the interim, next monday, there will be...

...ACCOUNTING FOR EVERYONE!

[Wakshaani]

IThe Kobold launched a magic missile spell, plinking each of us for one point. It was … a tactical error. My character summoned Gorefang, a fiendish ape and pointed at the Kobold, saying, “Eat him please.” Gorefang, it should be noted, is not a banana kind of ape. He’s more of an ‘Oh gods, my spleen!’ kind of ape. So he was happy to oblige.

In the second round, the ape ripped off the sorcerer’s arm and did a hatdance on his body. If only we could all enjoy the simple pleasures of life the way that nature’s untainted creatures do.

Abbas, figuring that his ape had things in hand, so to speak, cast Bane on the Orc.

In the third round, Gorefang began eating the arm he ripped off the sorcerer and continued to stomp on the remains, though with a certain relaxed insouciance at this point. Abbas tried to use a spell to command the barbarian to fall to the ground, but he shrugged it off and went into a berserker rage, swinging a mighty blow that nearly dropped Gaius on the spot.

Gorefang returned to his Infernal jungle (taking the arm with him) and we cast detect magic, discovering the glow from the bodies of our foes rivaled that of a Fat Elvis rhinestone studded jumpsuit under full stage lighting. We recovered the Phat Lewtz and another summoning disposed of the bodies by feeding them to another friendly fiend, followed up by a quick clean up of the street. Because even when you are on the run, there is no excuse for littering.

I think that Gorefang has become my new favorite thing. The simple pleasures of life indeed. Dammit man, I had *tears* in my *eyes* at that line. Amazing.

[Jason Hinds]

And always remember:

Gaius Livius Sulla is a CERTIFIED WHINING COWARD, his business is TOTALLY UNWORTHY OF NOTICE, just IGNORE HIM. It will make his life much easier. If you must interfere with his business, just kill him and get it over with, but please don't bother with noticing him.

Especially when he goes off to do what he needs to get done at a city office, stabs someone in the back, and figures out a way to turn a worm-ridden skyship into a profitable company.

Step 1: The entire crew will require a keel-hauling, especially the captain.

Step 2: The surviving crew will be rewarded upon successful completion of repairs, and subsequent completion of cargo runs.

Step 3: No one gets in between Gaius and a chance to do bookkeeping.

[Curt]

And always remember:

Gaius Livius Sulla is a CERTIFIED WHINING COWARD, his business is TOTALLY UNWORTHY OF NOTICE, just IGNORE HIM. It will make his life much easier. If you must interfere with his business, just kill him and get it over with, but please don't bother with noticing him.



At least not before he uses your kidneys for target practice. :D

And yea, I look forward to the A-Team style merchant marine ventures that I'm sure are going to come from Gaius's twisted little brain.

[Jason Hinds]

And yea, I look forward to the A-Team style merchant marine ventures that I'm sure are going to come from Gaius's twisted little brain.

Wait a minute.

The skyship can be repainted.

There's Abbas, the smooth-talking dealmaker.

There's Sloknar, the crazy one.

There's Inga, the surprisingly even-tempered powerhouse.

Then there's Gaius... who loves it when a plan comes together...

Oh, no...

[Heronymus]

*cue horn section *

DA-da-dit-dah, Da-dah, da-da.

Oh, gods. Oh, gods greater and lesser.

It's so crazy it just might work.

[Lizard]

Just remember to include the following in any plan: "And then we escape in the confusion!"

[Jason Hinds]

Just remember to include the following in any plan: "And then we escape in the confusion!"

So far it's been more of "And after we're done, we need to make sure to use Prestidigitation to cover our tracks!"

[Heronymus]

So far it's been more of "And after we're done, we need to make sure to use Prestidigitation to cover our tracks!"


And don't forget "let the summoned centipede eat the bodies!"

But yeah, prestidigitation is getting a lot of workout with you guys...

[Heronymus]

Hopefully Curt will be posting last night's antics today.

It was a very...talky...episode. With one rather notable solution ot a problem that I had not thought of.

[Wakshaani]

At some point, you'll have to fill us in on what a 'Chuk' is, exactly.

[VoiceOfIsaac]

Some cultural notes from the cities of Nine Spires:

1) If you want to win the favor of a Kobold, don't buy him a beer, buy him a mug of "glop", which consists mostly of rancid clumpy milk, some unmentionable icky stuff sprinkled in for flavor, and a dead rodent floating in it (which is there to soak up flavor from the drink for awhile before being eaten).

2) Priests of "The Smiling One", one of the more notable elven gods (who is generally considered to be a rather sinister god by nearly everyone else, it seems) have friendly, brightly lit temples, and the priests conduct themselves rather like used car salesmen, albeit charming ones. Oddly enough, their god's portfolio includes both Chaos and Knowledge. If the Ring of Darak ever discovers the internet, these guys will be the first Hackers.

3) High Explosives Can Be Fun!


- Isaac

[Heronymus]

At some point, you'll have to fill us in on what a 'Chuk' is, exactly.

Chuk is, to his credit, an awesome RP'er and great all-around guy.

He's also the Platonic Ideal of Munchkin. This man can, within the space of a couple of days, figure out a way to break any system. He's a master of manipulation, a doctor of dodginess, and the capstone of character creation. His ability to warp, bent, fold, spindle, and mutilate characters, all without breaking the rules, is legend in the small circle of those who have played with him.

He's the guy who killed my demon (the demon that was WAY more powerful than the party, and supposed to be the "run away!" flag). With a celestial badger. And some holy water.

His exploits are legion, his reputation is legendary, and his character are laudable.

In any given GM experience with him, the "Chuk Factor" was figuring out how to appropriately challenge the characters without outright overpowering them.

And, despite this amazing ability to break the system, he was also a great player, and fun to have in a party. Especially because he could also think circles around the plot; I finally figured out he was always going to be smarter than me and just started letting him plot for me; it was easier, as a GM, to react to him as a player than to try and stay ahead of him.

[Heronymus]

3) High Explosives Can Be Fun!


*facepalm*

[Curt]

As VoI and Hero have hinted, last night’s episode was a little … odd. Even for our group.

We began back down on the dockside with the drunken captain and his nefarious crew. Since the captain was rendered hors d’combat in his valiant struggle with the demon rum (and we gathered later sodomy and the lash were also usually in attendance), we met the acquaintance of the first mate, Grunth, an ogre of hidden talents. Grunth’s common was of the ‘Hulk Smash!’ variety, but his Elvish was very good.

Gaius asked Grunth to provide an object lesson by disciplining the captain for dereliction of duty. Grunth, perhaps a bit over enthusiastic, pitched said captain over the side. Nine Spire’s docks are approximately 1500 feet in the air. After a meditative and respectful pause, we sent the ship’s boy down to fetch a sack of captain back up.

Giaus spent most of the session getting various things in order, including inspecting the ship, which contained several (illegal) crates of Dwarvish fire bottles (naphtha) and several crates of flash powder (gunpowder) and a wooden crate full of dirt that was six feet long, three wide and three deep. The latter caused those of us with knowledge skills to twitch, violently. Closer investigation with Sloknar’s reptilian sense of smell indicated that something ‘three days dead’ was buried in the dirt.

In a quest for answers, Abbas and Inga took the sack o’ captain to the temple of the Smiling One and traded away a couple of magic half-spears for gold and a speak with dead spell. After a quick discussion of filial loyalty, the ex-captain was more than happy to spill his smuggling contacts, current contracts and general suspicions. Relaxed and happy from a nice day in church, the pair wandered back to the docks.

Meanwhile, Gaius and Sloknar discovered that the shipping office for his company had been the scene for a gory murder or two, which accounted for the messy, if homey aspect of the place. They looked for clues and such, though without a great deal of luck.

When all four were back together and dark approaching, they discussed the matter of the box of earth. Both Gaius and Abbas were pretty sure they knew what was in the box. And that they didn’t want it waking up with us around. The first plan was to stuff it in our handy portable hole, which, alas, didn’t have an opening large enough to handle it. (Though Inga did narrowly avoid poisoning and retrieved a pair of books from a chest that was apparently built inside the hole).

The second plan … Well, have you ever seen a DM gain a look of slowly dawning horror? We did. The second plan was to pitch the box over the side. Heronymus didn’t look particularly worried at that point. Thinking a little harder, we decided that if the box really contained what we thought it contained, simple falling wouldn’t be enough. Happily, we had these vials of Dwarvish fire. The DM informed us that such a large crate would be readily visible and easy to trace back up to us. The look of horror came when I reminded him that Abbas had an Invisibility spell handy. So, we used a Glue spell to attach three bottles of the naphtha to the crate, cast invisibility on it and chucked it over the side.

The fireball below was brief but exciting. The wildfire lasted most of the night. The party gained a ridiculous amount of experience. The GM railed against fate. The players laughed cruelly. It was, in fact, the very essence of D&D.

And that was pretty much it for the evening. :D

[Heronymus]

I would just point out that the fire is STILL burning. And the Condotierre are still investigating the explosion...

...but yeah. A mildly fun fight-and-flee villian was made into ashes. Never give the players explosives and then expect them to not use said explosives.

[Wakshaani]

For teh record, oh box-popping band, a small payment to the local mage can get those things Arcane Locked right tight.

-- Wak

[Curt]

For teh record, oh box-popping band, a small payment to the local mage can get those things Arcane Locked right tight.

-- Wak


Couldn't risk him turning into mist or being able to dimension door.

Besides, you don't have to worry about enemies if you don't leave any alive behind you. :D

[Jason Hinds]

I would just point out that the fire is STILL burning. And the Condotierre are still investigating the explosion...

...but yeah. A mildly fun fight-and-flee villian was made into ashes. Never give the players explosives and then expect them to not use said explosives.

You never know. Maybe there was a suicidal vampire who had a thing for Dwarvish fire, invisibility and bad placement with his teleportation skills.

[Wakshaani]

I still want to hear the story of teh celestial badger mentioned above. :)