Tell Me About Your Character

[Peter Svensson]

You put time and effort in it. Costuming, posture, finding the right voice, and probably a lot of thought into their history. Let us know about it. Tell me about your character. Preferably one you are playing now, but also cool ones that you've played in the past are good too.

[winterknightmare]

hum. . . so i play NERO ATL and am on plot for ETN. my first (and currently only) PC is bithaney indiago. she's a half gpysy-half human who dresses as a gpysy, carries a staff, and is the guildmistress of the food and entertainment guild. it's highly amusing because most people assume that she's a gpysy scholor, when in fact she's a human rogue. i can think of at least 2 high leval PC's who i've tooled because they turned their back to me. silly nobles. ah the joy of having a +3 magic weapon!

and my favorite thing about her is that she's a happy mistake. on my way to my first game (and i mean my first ever experiance with role-playing, i did it backward, and started with LARPs and moved to table top) i decided that the character i'd made was way too complex and annoying and on the 2.5hr drive i made up a simple concept with a skeletal history and let the cahracter create herself through role-play. about a year after i started playing, i actually sat down and wrote her back story, and it's one of the best things i've ever written. since then i've created some more characters as NPC's, but she's my favorite.

[bink]

Fontain, Kalish, Juan, Stephen with the very rarely last name Brotovich
Tzimisce brotovich on the path of the beast in a darkages larp thats older then the system we use.
short background: kalish grew up as a servent and slave to the tzimisce. He even was blessed with a body of a pure warrior. Devil hunters found his master, who embraced him to travel with him to a new city. Master sent off his war gouls to delay the hunters, he whent with them not understanding to fight. To his surprise and disapointment he survived. Being a vampire wasn't that hard of a transistion, he knew his capabilities. Lacking the ability to track down master he wandered nomaticly untill he met a gangel vampire on beast as well. Who named him fontain, as he was unable to speak hard sounds effectivly. A pure warrior needs not the ability so it was removed. After traveling with him they came to visit barcalona spain.

Fontain's character sheet is basicly a fighting tank with some love of animals, he also hates the idea of relaying on others so has some craft skills but very few backgrounds.

The costuming for him was real fun, I got my friend to sew a large circle with a head hole cut into it. I used crutches on both my arms to simulate his large spike and elephant arms. I also had a hood and I cut up a pant leg to simulate dred locks. I also used a filled backpack to give myself a hump. I walked on all fours and couldn't sit down on a chair without great effort.

Speach impedimate was very fun to play, I determined that hard sounds hurt him and took the wind out of him. Wiched caused me to speak in very simple and none threating words not sentances and sometimes phrases. I found out that most people thought that the character was mentally retarded. Wich I suppose wasn't that bad of an assumption. Also the speech impediment helped me stay in character running inner monologes.

If your still intrested I can post more things about his adventures and background. I hope my spelling and grammer arn't to bad.

[Regis]

A fantasy LARP system run at my University. One of the gods in the system is called Helios, and his faith is the Catholic rip-off. Evangelical, obnoxious, absolutist, designed to support the sort of characters that give paladins a bad name. However, things being what they are, he's still listed under the Good gods section.

There is a family in the system called the Galways, the name taken from a PC of one of the system refs in a different game. The Galways are a massive, extended clan and make up about 50% of the hierarchy of the church of Helios. My character is Sebastian Galway, youngest son of a lesser branch of the family. He is my attempt to remind people that yes, Helionites are in fact good guys. Seb has skills in Theology and Philosophy and has actually questioned his faith over the course of his life. He gives no truck to complicated codes of behaviour and rants about evangelism - as far as he sees it, all a follower of Helios has to do is accept the existence of Good and Evil as concrete realities, strive to uphold good and to oppose evil with all their strength. Admittedly there are some non-negotiables - Demons and the Undead are Evil, always - but most of the time it is fine to think of things as 'complicated'. Seb is a genuinely nice guy, who generally thinks the best of people and isn't suspicious and judgemental. His character note is that he is strongly religious, he does have a moral code and he does believe that it is right for everyone, and he doesn't act like an arrogant cock because of it.

In mechanical terms, Sebastian is a Tank. His main role is to soak damage in combat while his cousin Isabella deals damage with her bow and other party members lend support. He's also party to the system's big metaplot, currently wielding a sword and shield made of Pure Elemental Chaos (although he doesn't know that) and has managed to deal with some of the system's most powerful and grumpy people without making them angry.

In fact, right now, I think he's the favourite character I'm playing.

[Ambrogino]

I'd been playing combat gods pretty exclusively for a few years - ones with personality and background, but nevertheless most of their points were spent on being hit, staying up and hitting back. So when the company that runs my main game declares they're going to be running a post-apocalypse zombie western I decide it's time to go completly the opposite tack.

Enter Buckingham Palace, proffessional Lara (tomb-raider scavenger). Cowardly, unlucky, illiterate, and the most fun to play I've had in years. Unlike all the other guys playing scavs I didn't actually bother putting extra points inot the scav skill, but instead bought a (undeserved) reputation instead. So NPC's (and now most new PC's) flock up to me with "you're the Buckingham Palace!" followed by offers of quests, all of which end hysterically badly as I run screaming out of the mission, leaveing the poor saps who've accompanied me to their horrible fates. My crowning achievement at the last game was getting made captain of the riverboat Serenity after the unfortunate death of Captain Malcolm Reynolds (yes, really).

Since my wife decided she wasn't going to be attending these games I couldn't see the point in hauling a huge-ass tent for one person and struck upon the idea of scavenger style carrying everything with me at all times. So attatched to my rucksack I have my tent and sleeping bag, as well as assorted cutllery, stuffed toys, and tools, all covered in soldered flux, hazard tape, rips and stitches.. I pitch just before going to sleep and unpitch again first thing, leading to me being able to crash in the middle of the main tavern, during an "acid" rain storm on the beach and generally all over the place. The costumes tattered and badly repaired long dusters, waistcoats and shirts, all of which are made from at least two originals (legs from two different pairs of trousers for instance) suitable taped up and dirty. Throw in a hood, cowboy hat, rebreather mask and goggles with radioactivity symbols for lenses and I'm good to go.

[James Holloway]

In a MET VtR game, I'm playing Danny Kovacs. Danny is a low-life, bottom-feeding scavenger, the kind of petty criminal you'd find in <i>Snatch</i>, although because of accent problems, he's an American living in Britain (he was embraced while serving in the Air Force during the cold war -- there's a big base not far from here. In his Air Force days, I imagine him as a <i>Buffalo Soldiers</i> kind of guy).

Danny speaks and acts in a way that's very different from me. He's incredibly foul-mouthed, for instance, and very hyper (well, that's a little like me). Before game starts, I walk around ... not so much "getting into character" as getting into the physical habits of the character. I have a little "Kovacs affirmation" I repeat, which goes "Bitch. Punk! BITCH PUNK MOTHERFUCKER!"

Danny wears sneakers, jeans, a wifebeater, loose shirts (I have a bowling shirt I wear as him, or other similar stuff), and a leather jacket when it's cold -- of the Joe Pesci variety rather than the biker variety. I also take off my glasses when I play him.

I enjoy playing Danny: it's important to me that at least some of the blood-sucking parasites in this game be, you know, blood-sucking parasites.

[tetsujin28]

I tend to LARP in one-shots at conventions. I feel they produce a more intense and focused LARP experience, and at local conventions I know all the LARP GMs.

Then again, I played Stephen (Glass Walker) for quite a long time in a Vampire/Werewolf LARP, and he was a lot of fun. I can still remember the first time I pulled out my .45s with bound fire elementals when the Prince decided it was time to get rid of the local werewolves :D

[DariusSolluman]

Mm. My favorite character...

I was (still am, actually) playing in an OWBN VtM LARP. The plot line was a Cammarilia resistance trying to retake Atlanta from the Sabbat- but a lot of the people were either making only two types of characters; combat monsters or completely-random madness. Not the bad, game disrupting kind of madness, but the kind that makes you wonder what they were planning to do at game.

Into this, I created Zalman Harl (who went by Sal for short), a coporate spy turned Malkavian. A fairly smart fellow, who took to Obfuscating and taping the goers and comers into suspected Sabbat feeding grounds with both a regular and thermal camera, then using a computer to superimpose the two images and pick out people with no body heat. Then take pictures of them.

Then slightly misinform the people in charge- enough so they could get themselves into a great deal of trouble.

Zalman's derangement was compulsive liar. :D

Sadly, he ended up getting eaten during a more invasive stake out than I cared to go on, because the Sabbat can apparently use Heightened Sense to pierce obfuscate in a noisy, strobe lit club. I was a triffle miffed about that.

But he didn't help focus me in on exactly what I like doing at game- making characters that can Find Stuff Out. Contacts are your Friends (tm) :D

[Arnino Storm]

In a local Dark Ages Vampire LARP (sadly deceased), I played a Tzimisce philosopher who, due to a bad accident, had lost all use of his right leg. He also had Furore sympathies. He also became Chamberlain for a while, due to his theories on psychology.

He did pretty much nothing but sit and talk all night. He was a LOT of fun. :D

[Tylorva]

I have way too many that I could list.

But the most amusing one that leaps to mind was part of a group that four of us created for a one-off Wraith LARP.

Now, Wraith LARP is usually very dark and very serious and very intense. But it doesn't have to be.

On this occasion, the four of us all created a circle of Doomslayers. A Doomslayer is a very insane ghost who goes hunting spectres in a very dangerous way. But we weren't any Doomslayers. We were all Australian Doomslayers! And we all based our characters on Steve Irwin and Crocodile Dundee stereotypes. We had all died by having our heads bitten off by crocodiles and so on.

Our characters were named Bruce, Bruce, Bruce and Sheila (that was me!). We all turned up in bush gear and corked hats, proceeded to talk in very exxagerated Aussie accents all evening, and resulted in some wonderful quotes such as "See this nephrack right 'ere? 'E's sleepin' at the moment, but let's see what 'appens if we bring this crystal of soulfire close to it. Blimey! 'E's a crankey one alright!"

Very silly stuff, but it still makes me laugh to this day. :-)

[Snoopy]

Australian Doomslayers! ... named Bruce, Bruce, Bruce and Sheila ... quotes such as "See this nephrack right 'ere? 'E's sleepin' at the moment, but let's see what 'appens if we bring this crystal of soulfire close to it. Blimey! 'E's a crankey one alright!"

A Mage character I had once was named Peter Bruce, and talked much like this. Wasn't based on Steve Austin, though, he was more a Crocodile Dundee type.

And this LARP sounds great! Something I might have to try at some point in the future.

As for LARP characters, my current is Rhapsody, a Fae. The original Rhapsody was in a different system (at my Uni) and was originally created as a way to spam the Glue spell as much as I could. However, he turned out to be a lot of fun to play, and so I migrated systems with him to the LT (what I guess would be termed a boffer LARP), where he was a spellcaster (although in a much more limited way, due to the restrictions of having so many players!) until a slight... accident with a transport circle twisted much of his spellcasting ability into an affinity for ritual magic. (OOC, I changed skills!) He's very childlike (not childish!), only being 5 years old, although physically he looks mid-twenties. Quite frighteningly, he's High Ritualist of my Faction, so he's beginning to learn responsibility.

[Ambrogino]

Damn. I played Steve Irwin at Labyrinthe when a bunch of us went back to Labyrinth after a ten year gap, and I discovered an old Spirit warrior character card called Karakoa. Worst adventure I'd played in years, but the fun of trying to "disbelieve" in someone who'd stolen my hat, in a bad australian accent was very entertaining.

[Peter Svensson]

Current favorite? Da Chaz, an unseelie Boggan sensationalist reporter. He's got this frantic run that he uses whenever I remember that I established a walk for him, he keeps getting upset that he allows people to walk all over him, and that he doesn't get paid for his hard work.

He's a bit of a jerk, very gullible about what he prints, and totally energetic. And he publishes an in-game newspaper!

[JustinCognito]

This is my first LARP, and I've only been roleplaying for a year now, yet I think I love this character the most of all I've played.

Sundance, Seelie Troll gunslinger/Criminal Justice student in a Changeling LARP. Came to Boston up from Texas after his mentor vanished under very mysterious circumstances; after having his fears put to rest and realizing the mentor was okay, he decided to stay and help the fae of Boston fend off Winter.

I might mangle the accent at times (my main experience with a Texan accent is having watched George Eads on CSI), but the LARP's great fun, and I like playing the salt-of-the-earth steadfast lawman.

[Airk]

I don't have that many characters to choose from, mainly since I've been "behind the scenes", so to say, in nearly every LARP I've been to. Of course, I've usually had a character anyway, but that's the quick, blend into the background NPC type thing (ranging from a mentally handicapped farm boy to Loki...).

The three probably favorite characters of mine though, would be


- Belsemdoralas, Dark Elf King. This was for a LARP called Stulaaria: The Wedding (I posted a picture of the Dark Elf group in the picture thread, BTW), and the Dark Elf king had come to pledge his friendship to the new human High King and Queen, who were uniting the two greatest human kingdoms by their marriage.

This is beyond all doubt the sneakiest bastard I've ever played. Before coming to the LARP we read and re-read Way of the Scorpion for L5R, and I had Machiavelli's "The Prince" in our off-game chest, to read at oppurtune moments. The challenge here was to play an "evil" character, who everyone knew to be evil, and yet have my strength in social and political quarrels. I also had to keep secret the fact that I was directly responsible for our last King's failed attempt to assasinate the Elven Queen, and that I had a very significant part to play in his murder. Both my wife (the dead king's sister) and my brother (the dead king's Executioner...) were at the LARP, plotting revenge against the person directly responsible for such murder.

The best part? I pulled it all off. Not by making them think I was good, but by making everyone (well, not the Elves) think it was in my best interests to back the new Kingdom. I also had one of the best staged combats in my LARPing carreer against my 'brother'. Also, since Norwegian LARPs don't use stats or any kind of social mechanics, generally speaking, every plot I played was my own to succeed or fail with.




Second character was Hans Karlstein, jack-of-all-trades and fugitive from a Southern plantation owner's wrath. The LARP in question was called Wanted (a Western LARP). Hans' father had come from Germany, in a deal with a plantation owner that for all practical purposes had led to him being an indentured servant for the rest of his life. Hans had fled the plantation at 14, but ended up killing the owner's son as he escaped, and there was a large bounty on his head. As a result of that incident, Hans never used a gun of any kind, and though he wasn't lost in a fight, refused to do anything that might actually kill someone.

In the LARP's prologue, Hans got mixed up in a plot concerning who really had the rights to the land the small gold rush town was built on, and during a midnight run-in with the Klan, he got shot in his shoulder. When he returned for the main LARP, he brought some friends, and was sporting an iron cast around his arm (best boffer thing I've ever made - three sets of padded plastic rulers taped up and sprayed for color, tied around my arm)..




Last character started out as an NPC of sorts, in the longest-lived Vampire LARP in Norway. I was GMing, and since I needed a character to actually be among the players, I played the Ghoul of a recently Embraced Brujah (and the Brujah were, not surprisingly, 'my' players) played by someone new both to the system and the setting, so I could advise her a bit during the game.

Now, after a year's worth of play, Kent got killed during a huge fight with the Sabbat, and with the Prince's permission, was Embraced to 'save' his life. His Sire then died a few months later, leaving Kent with the interestingexperience of going through no less than three Mentors taking him in and claiming him as their Childe as players dropeed out of the game. Shortly after he was declared a Neonate, he left town, as the composition of GM's had changed and it was hard to be accessible to all my players with that character.

Two years later, I burn out on GMing the thing, and drop back to being a player. Thus, I un-retire Kent, who come back from L.A. less an eye, an injury he refused to heal, saying it was a reminder of who and what he was. He'd also radically changed his looks, going from wannabe street-punk to something resembling the way Raven used to look in his ECW and WCW days, and his Humanity had dropped... drastically (actually, he was now on a Path of my own and the GM's devicing)

Oh, yeah, and he'd brough a Coterie.


That Coterie - Raven's Flock - was a whole heap of fun. We were so low-power that we could weird out a bit without truly being disruptive, and we were playing young, thouroughly brainwashed Neonates, glorying in their Vampiric existence, as close to being Sabbat you can get while your brainwashing compels you to uphold the Masquerade at any costs, and the number one tenant on your Path forbids you to try to change what you are - and this includes Diablerie.

We were trying to start a Brujah/Toreador clan war just for shits and giggles, and had a totally staged storyline going where we harassed, kidnapped, anf finally recruited a young out-of-towner Ventrue.

Good times.

[Requiem_17_23]

Well, my characters have all just either died or retired, so I'll tell you the story of my first character.

James 'Sesqui' Fishman, Paladin of Humact, arrived in our fair city looking like Mr. October in Callow Youth magazine. An orphan taken in by the Church of Humact when he was but five years of age, he knew very little about those parts of life that did not pertain to slaying the undead, praying to Humact and obeying the commandment "Speak no Word that is not the Truth".

His first evening in the city, he turned up to the Wessex Arms pub and bought a drink. In the undead attack that evening, his major achievement was to be nearly cut in half due to having left his sword at home as the law advised.

He turned up the next week with sword and armour, and a mission to protect the pub from the undead. He quickly acquired a reputation for being almost the single greatest provider of business to the group's healers, and being almost completely ineffective at slaying anything. There was one evening where a major attack occured; he was struck down in the first few moments, but healed himself and dragged himself back into the fight. He was cut down again, but fought on despite serious injuries until knocked out and dragged back so the other healers could get at him. He fought his way clear of the healers and slew several of the undead by hacking off their ankles (by this point he was lying under a table in a pool of blood, with one functional arm, his armour in tatters) until one of them managed to knock him out. This led to the great exchange: "Recognise Wounds?" - "Lying in a pool of blood here... er... both arms and both legs incapacitated... I think I have a hitpoint left somewhere..."

Having survived that and several other incidents, worshipping the God of Death by basically living on his doorstep, Sesqui eventually learnt how to fight. He assisted in the slaying of the demon prince "Tormentor" (once again being cut to ribbons but managing not to die) and in the putting down of the great necromancer Antenor (the first adventure he went on where he did not lose consciousness even once).

From somewhere he acquired a girlfriend (bright purple aspiring catgirl... don't ask) and a small but growing Fan Club (somewhat embarassing). By the time I'd been playing him for two-thirds of a year, Sesqui was one of the more powerful PCs there and the self-appointed guardian of the Wessex Arms - there were others with greater power, but everybody ducked when he raised his voice.

Eventually, however, his luck ran out. Betrayed by his friend August (who, it turned out, was a necromancer all this time), he was put under a mind-control spell and forced to kill a great friend of his. He cried out to Humact for help, and was rewarded with instant death.

He was great fun to play. Uptight as all hell, naive and innocent (at least to start with), and by the end an embittered borderline psychopath who'd been forced to grow up very fast. I got a lot of enjoyment out of playing someone who was a truly incorruptible, virtuous and noble follower of a moral code completely alien to my own - lying, to him, was worse than murder.

Kit, for reference, was entirely jet black. Black leather armour, black vambraces, black trousers, black shirt. Add to that the fact that I'm two metres tall and the armour made me look larger - Sesqui was intimidating in a way that none of my characters since have quite managed. I was just about to add a black cloak, as befitted his status, when he died.

[Merten]

Carmine Delucci is a small time made-man of a mob family operating in New York and the surroundings, doing small time mob business with his batshit-crazy partner. Once a month or so, the family organizes a poker night for those with enough money and connections - politicians, film stars, used car dealers, lawyers, you name it. Carmine and his assosicates - act as The House and run the event for the family, looking over things and making sure everything runs smoothly. They participate on the table every now and then.

Carmine is slowly going batshit crazy himself, or so he thinks. He's seeing things, imagining things, running through the woods during the game evenings, trying to catch Them, whatever it is they are. And while it's easy to shoot the shit about tittie bars, girls, money, business and everything with the assosicates - friends - it just ain't the same thing when you're trying to find the words for the fact that you're losing your grip on reality. That shit ain't just something a made-man does. You gotta be reliable. You gotta have a grip.

So, Carmine's been seeing the family doctor in secret and he's on medication. He's slowly getting better. He doesen't switch the safety on his gun on and off as a compulsive motion any more. He's behaving, participating and being a good boy in general.

The game is called Executive Game and it's very Sopranos-style stuff, the actual game events being, well, poker evenings for the wealthy. Stuff happening in between the game events are either player out in tabletop format or written in player briefings. You get to play poker in a smoke filled room with real chips and the stuff, eat quality food and make security walks armed with 9mm and baseball bat. While slowly going insane.

It's been almost a year since we had the last game and I'm getting cold turkey from writing this.

[Gaming_Butterfly]

In the Old WoD LARP at my college, I play a Ventrue Psychology professor named Marie Conley. Her emphasis is in developmental psychology and counseling with a little behavioral neuroscience. She tends to dress in bussiness casual, unless there's court in which case she'll opt for a tasteful pants suit or dress. She has a very warm and friendly demenor without seeming annoying. She has the kind of personality that people feel like they could open up to.

Her demenor is caregiver but her nature is manipulator. Her agoge was to get a teaching job at her ALma mater, where it can be particularly hard to get since a Brujah is already a faculty member and tends to be resistant to other vampires. She was dignosed with Sheers before applying so no one is really suspicous. In her free time she also helps teach Ballroom dancing along with a friend from the computer science department.

She does have a passion for psychology and wants to use new advances in counseling and neuroscience. Currently, she's begining to explore the use of psychoanalytic drugs on Malkavians and how the dosage has to be abjusted in blood for it to be effective.

[Reverend Kinesys]

Merten is picking my mental pockets.

One of my favorite V:TM Characters was a rough little customer named Carmine Pentangeli. Rolled into town, got asked to be a primogen at my second game session. (I had skills and there were a total of 3 ventrue in the whole town)

Within 2 months i had inveigled myself into being the Prince and kept power longer than anyone expected by dint of doing things that kept the elders off balance (and therefore off my back.)

My favorite quote: "So, I figure, when my Brujah seneschal tells me i need to relax and calm down...Well. Maybe i need to relax and calm down.

[Allison Wonderland]

My current character is deeply nuanced (if I do say myself) and is developing in ways I didn't forsee and find really interesting. Which is good, I guess, since I'm playing her.

She's a Mekhet in a MET V:tR game (the same one James Holloway's in), and has recently joined the Ordo Dracul. I'm not going to go into this too much detail; I can't imagine it will mean much to most of you. I will say just that this is a very significant step for her.

She's blind, and has been since an accident in her mortal days. I've based her in parts on the cop from Intacto (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0220580/) (a superb film), Elizabeth Bennet from Pride & Prejudice (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112130/) (specifically Lizzie from this version) and Ivy from The Village. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0368447/) She's very proud and very passionate, but very, very reserved.

...I don't know, she's so fleshed-out it's as hard for me to describe her in one post as it would be for me to describe myself. Maybe harder, because she's older and I'm modest. ;)

[invisible_al]

Can I ask how you handle the blindness part of playing her? I've seen people do this in a few games and I always wonder how they manage it.

[Allison Wonderland]

Can I ask how you handle the blindness part of playing her? I've seen people do this in a few games and I always wonder how they manage it.
Well (and thank you for asking!), I cheat by being extremely nearsighted. ;) Mostly, though, I don't look people in the eye. I cock my head and keep my eyes downcast and unfocused, or look at their elbow when talking to them. I turn my ear toward them instead of my face. I stay seated and still whenever possible, and I bump into things if my character wouldn't know they're there. You know, stuff like that. :)

[nick whalley]

Howdy Regis, nice to see Seb's getting a mention. And in contrast to that charming fellow in the same system and place we have the mighty Gurgh.
Ok maybe not so mighty
Ok fine he's a bit squishy.
The original premise for this character was going to be an orc samurai. Not as daft as it seems, in the setting the big greenskin nation have an oriental culture. Starting at the bottom and working up the social hierarchy goes;
anything not on the list
orcs (samurai)
goblins (mages) ogres (monks)
snotlings (royal bloodline)

The creators are evil. However I found the concept cool and was ready to play a samurai orc, a mighty warrior yada yada yada.
Then the night before I had lots to drink. An dwoke up after 3 hours sleep still slightly drunk and feeling very energetic. I did not want to play a samurai. Furthermore the person who sells us our live kit at uni was up that weekend. I saw a large, ugly axe. And a fur waistcot that didnt close for £1.50 (since lost. sniff). I purchased these. Put on some pants. And greened everything else still showing. I adopted a foolish accent (which the character was also faking) and ran around enthusiastically, behaving like a stupid, blunt orc.
In the system we have you can be mage or warrior. Or a combination of both with a prefernce to one, making it more costly to do so but more tricks and still some focus. Or you can do what i did and be someone with no leaning towards any sort of magic or fighting. This made the character somewhat weak and he only survives cause i run fast.
He is fun simply appears, laughing maniacly, steps towards the heros... then suddenly from behind him are uttered the words "hey, you. I had your mum and she was ****". There is a pause. A moment of twitching from the god. Then there is a grinning lump of orc lying on the floor with an enraged god pounding on him.