A writer's post

[xanthron]

You previously said you want us writers to post more. But as someone mentioned you couldn't feasably post a whole work or people wont buy it or they won't bother to read. I decided to post not all the work but just a excerpt from the gaming suppliment I'm writing called The Carnorics. Let me know what people think.



Shaun Service

[Tomasz Zieba]

You might consider putting some sort of a sign between parapgraphs. When I write it looks like that:

Blablablablablablablablablabla

* * *

Blablablablablablablablablabla

Of course, what I write is usually better than "blablabla." Usually:D

[Storn]

Yup, paragraphs would help.

Of course, there are some problems pasting into simple text programs like notepad... perhaps there were paragraphs.

I really couldn't read it with it all so justified text wise....

But that amount of text, seems totally doable to me, as a sample of writing.

Lets get the formatting down, and I'll read it!

[Tomasz Zieba]

Is there no way to post documents in Word on this forum? I had to download his text and open it in Word. Reading notepad is tiresome.:mad:

[KingOfChaos]

Damnit..why is my browser asking me to download the txt file instead of just showing it as a webpage?

[xanthron]

Sorry about that note pad is weird that way with paragraphs. So here it is again with paragraphs this time.



Shaun Service

[Tomasz Zieba]

Since I was the one bitching about writers being absent on this forum, I will force myself to give my opinion.

I presume that this is fiction from this gaming supplement you mentioned? Without knowing the game I can't say on whether this fiction follows the game and its mood very well. If this is stand alone fiction then you should give some more details, such as how these wolves look like. Are they your typical human looking animals?

As for quality, I would say its decent. I can't find anything bad with it, but its not outstanding either. I would give it a 7.

BTW
Can this human guy kill a bunch of cops and walk away without suffering any consequences? In general, powerful criminals can do pretty much anything they want, but when they start killing cops in large numbers it is their end. Polic might take bribes and look the other way. They might even forgive a dead officer here and there. But if yoy start killing many of them, they will quickly kick your ass.

[Matt Drake]

The story was definitely interesting. It had some really cool elements, like powerful criminal animal-people and bad-ass butt-kicking humans. I have to say I liked it.

But there's no way I would consider publishing it without some hardcore editing. Too many sentences lacked verbs, or objects, or were otherwise incomplete. It raised my guard right off when the first couple paragraphs contained a sentence that started with 'Oh,...'.

There is a lot here that is commendable, but I see a need for a lot of work. Writers have to know when it's OK to dodge grammar for readability, but when in doubt, and I mean any doubt at all, go for grammatically correct.

Matt Drake
www.spectrepress.com