Writing Sample?

[AdrianChapman]

Hello everyone....
I'm a bit new at this so please go easy on me.... I'm a aspiring writer (read unemployed) and trying to get somewhere in this industry, but I don't really have that many people who could give me much feedback.... sooooo I've decided to post something here.... by all means tell me what you think of it.... so far Matt Drake is the only one who has seen it, and he seemed to like it a little.... hope you enjoy it....
Adrian Chapman

[AdrianChapman]

For some reason my sample didn't attach.... I think it's fixed now

Adrian Chapman

[Jerry D. Grayson]

No you havent;)

Maybe you should post it on a website and link to it

[AdrianChapman]

Ok, so this didn't quite work....
Does anyone know why I can't post the story here?... does it have something to do with me being new?.... oh well.... I'll accept a moderator answer if one is around....
Thanks
Adrian Chapman

[Tomasz Zieba]

Well, if it is short then you could simply post it right here.

[Holy Bear]

Adrian, a few things to bear in mind:

-is the file format correct? You can't post all formats on these boards. When writing a post, check below the 'attach file'-bit...it says which file extensions are valid.

-how big is it? You can only post up to 102400 bytes. (still, it would tell you if you've exceeded this)

-did you attach it using the attach file -> browse function? This has always worked for me.

I'm sorry if this is all simple stuff you already know...just thought I'd chip in and see if this helps any. :)

Asbjørn

[AdrianChapman]

I tried to do all the things you asked, thanks alot for your help! I tried to convert the document format, I hope this works....
Thanks again

Adrian Chapman

[Holy Bear]

There ya go! I'll have to read it later though. :)

[Tomasz Zieba]

I read it and here is my opinion.

I think that the main problem is the inconsistency of the main character. He is shown as a coward, but time and time again he does heroic stuff and voluntarily takes risks.
I simply can't understand him.

[Tomes]

Well, I just finished, and here's my thoughts.

I liked the whole sci-fi film noir feel - but then I'm a sucker for the disenchanted and cynical over the hill type of character.

I only wish that I'd known about the implant a little earlier, even if only a hint. It seemed to come outta nowhere and save the day.

Good work Adrian.

Incidentally Tomas, I didn't feel that the character was a coward - scared, sure - but not shivering in his boots at the first sign of danger.

:)

Edited for spelling !

[Tomasz Zieba]

Well, he does seem to admire Scooby Doo:)

[AdrianChapman]

Thanks everyone for the feedback on this, it's the first little story I've ever tried to send to anyone, but since I've updated it a little bit...... I'm actually planning on trying to make it a serial sorta thing, kinda like the old dime store pulp scifi/noir books..... glad everyone has liked it

Adrian