Actual Play: Buffy - The Watch House

[Craig Oxbrow]

Seeing a good thing, the BBC have launched a spinoff of Buffy spinoff The Night Watch (website here (http://www.geocities.com/buffynightwatch/)) concerning another group of Watchers in training, set in King's College, Cambridge. After the unaired pilot (http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?threadid=81263) tested well but one of the cast departed, a new cast member was recruited and the pilot partially reshot...

Essentially, it's a variant on the TNW premise, Watchers in training (Prentices) and other interested parties at an Oxbridge university. I'll be using TNW as a sourcebook for ideas, but not for episode plotlines directly, so that a crossover is possible without dimensional travel.

Currently confirmed main cast:

Mekhi Phifer (http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0298203/Ss/0298203/K3582-26.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Phifer,%20Mekhi) as Ziggy Roots, dispatched from Jamaica by Kendra's former Watcher Samuel Zabuto after seeing something, er, Watchery.

A young Lori Petty type as Millicent "Milli" Blackhurst, former star pupil of the Watchers' Academy who took a year out that lasted over two years, and came back with pink hair and a stud in her nose. Is this the extent of her rebelliousness? We'll see...

A purposely nondescript young actor as William Grove, former Hall Monitor of the Watchers' Academy. Socially uncomfortable and bookish. In some ways the ideal Watcher. Just not any of the ways that involve dealing with people.

A rather athletic and laddish type as Jack Stevenson, lock of the Cambridge freshers' rugby team and group Cordy.

Alfred Molina (http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hc&id=1800018903&cf=pg&photoid=470531&intl=us) as Michael Henry Escher, the group's Invigilator (Watcher trainer). Rather gruff so far. Will he warm to his charges, or remain distant?

[Craig Oxbrow]

Watch House 1.1 - Our Sword And Our Shield

We open on a shot of Cambridge by night, then three men in dark clothing watching another cross a road...
"Yes, he's doing it!" one of them whispers.
"Don't speak too soon," another growls.
"No, look, he's there!" the first points.
"Good," the second smiles, fangs gleaming. "It works. Now our hopes rest with him."
Across the road, the fourth man... the fourth vampire smirks as he passes a sign marking the boundary of pre-industrial Cambridge, and takes out a chain necklace to look at it - a splinter of stone and a glowing crystal. He heads further into town, finally reaching a small house. Opening the door with a lock taken out of an envelope, he heads inside. Waiting in the front room is a shortish, slight man with thinning hair, wearing a dark suit.
"So, proof enough?" he asks. The vampire nods.
"Yes. Now, what about these?"
"Oh, they'll open when you want them to," the smaller man says with a nod to the four coffins lying on the floor...

Credits to be inserted here. Theme: Ash, Evil Eye.

After the credits, a shot of King's College (http://www.kings.cam.ac.uk/chapel/gallery/) with a voiceover by Ziggy going over the touristy details... and a few that the Watchers have added. Founded in the 1440s, it has been a base for Watcher tutelage since a few decades later. The shot moves to Ziggy looking at a map, surrounded by tourists and fellow pre-Freshers' week freshers. Eventually, he finds the private office of Mr. Escher, and inside he hears metal clashing against metal. Knocking harder, he is greeted by Escher.
Escher: Mr. Routs?
Ziggy: Roots.
Escher: I see... Well, how is Mr. Mbotu?
Ziggy: Zabuto.
Escher: Good. Come in.

Inside, Ziggy is slightly perplexed to find William and Milli in fencing whites, Milli prodding William with her epee as he struggles to his feet.

Some rudeness follows:
Milli: You know what this is, right? Right?
Ziggy: So this is a special class then. Riiiight.
Milli: Perhaps not the one you're looking for.

This is interrupted by Escher somewhat wearily explaining that Mr. Zabuto is a well-respected Watcher, and then handily expositioning to Ziggy (and thus the audience) that the Watchers ensure that their main centres of tutelage (Oxford, Cambridge, Cologne) are safe to study in:

Escher: We are protected by a warding shield. It essentially grants the same protection to an area that the dwelling ward does to a home. Vampires and other "ungodly possessing demons" cannot enter within an area bounded by leylines marked by a series of standing stones. Now, the city has expanded past the boundaries since the Industrial Revolution, but we should be largely safe from the Watchers' main foes here..."

He then receives a phone call from the coroner at the city hospital. A body has been stolen.

Fade to black here, so that advertisements can be added when the Americans show the series.

[Craig Oxbrow]

We quickly establish that Ziggy hasn't sorted out a bus pass yet, and doesn't have exact change. Milli is good enough to front him the price of a ticket.

According to the preliminary report, the late Matthew Cobb was 18, in good health, and didn't have a mark on him. "The last seven bodies disappearing were stolen by med students... and the one before that by a Biology student... but since term hasn't started yet and the death was suspicious, I thought I'd better let you know."

Fearing the worst, Milli suspects Matthew could have left under his own power. Establishing that he was in one of the body drawers rather than on the examining table, she decides to test a theory.

Milli: Could you do me a favour?
Ziggy: No.
Milli: Go on.
Ziggy: What is it?
Milli: Get in the drawer.
Ziggy: I'll... think about it.
Milli: You owe me sixty pence.

It's quickly established that you can't easily get out of a drawer, as the coroner lets Ziggy out to stop him denting the metal as he kicks it ineffectually...

Milli: Were you trying?
Ziggy: Yes!

And so the class go to investigate the victim. Visiting Matthew's landlady under the pretence of needing a room - "It's just a single, I'm afraid" - they learn that he'd arrived a week early to settle in before starting a course, kept to himself...

Going over his personal effects at the pub after dark, they find that he didn't have anything unusual - no phone numbers with purposely vague descriptions suggesting drug dealers, for example - and what he looked like. Milli looks at the victim's bus pass... then looks up and sees him at the bar.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Milli attempts to gain the others' attention by surreptitious elbowing and making an alarmed noise without opening her mouth.

Ziggy: Hey, quit it!
Milli: Bvv...
Ziggy: Huh?
Milli, nodding at the bar: Bvv! Bv-bv-bvbv-bvv-bvv!
Ziggy: Oh, I know that guy. Where from... (as Milli holds up the dead guy's bus pass) Ohh. That's...

Matthew, looking a little poorly but rather less than a corpse should be, chats with various already-in-town students including the freshers' rugby team. Apparently there's a house party tonight...

Meanwhile, our heroes discuss what to do in quiet hissed tones.

Milli: We should go and talk to him.
Ziggy: What do I say? "So, how is being dead?"

This quandary is resolved when one of the rugby freshers, one Jack Stevenson, heads out by himself to go to a cashpoint and Matthew follows him. Sneaking after, the Prentices watch Jack head into an alley - and be grabbed by clawlike hands!

Spending a Drama Point to have a stake in her bag, Milli rushes forwards, just as Jack throws the vampire Matthew over his shoulder and slams him against a wall. Milli dives to stake the snarling horror, but Ziggy pulls out a cross with less than perfect timing and repels the vampire away from the stake. Matthew growls and grabs Jack by the shoulder, trying to drag him away.

William dithers with a phial of holy water, Jack flails at Matthew, Ziggy holds his cross as far away from his body as possible and smacks Matthew with it, and Milli spots an opening and EEEYYYAAA WHOOMFF vampire scream and exploding effects.

Milli: Well, I guess they won't be getting their body back...

In the struggle, a key fell out of Vampire Matthew's pocket. It's for 37 Barns Street. The house where the party is happening, Jack dazedly confirms.

Jack: The rugby team's heading down there.

A vampire rugby team. That could be, like, a bad thing.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Jack: So, uh, what happened with... uh...
Milli: Oh, we're, uh, the medieval staking society.
William: Yes.
Jack: Oh, okay.

Dragging Jack along with them to receive first aid for the nail marks in his shoulder, they had back to Escher's office to re-equip and inform him. He isn't there, so they confirm no sign of a struggle and re-equip anyway.
Milli gives Jack her mobile number, in case he was a specific rather than opportunistic target.

Milli (Attractiveness 2): This is for emergency use only.
Jack (Att 3 but not her type): Suuure.
Milli: This. Is. For. Emergency. Use. Only.

Collecting an axe, a short sword, more stakes, a heavier bottle of holy water and the like, the Prentices step out and prepare to do battle, leaving a message for Escher in hopes that he hasn't been kidnapped.

"Please call. Gone to 37 Barns Street. Matthew gone with the wind."

Arriving at 37 Barns, they find a seemingly abandoned detached house. Unlocking the door, they find darkness within.

Milli's player: Do the lights work?
Me: Are you reaching in to check?
Milli's player: That's a very Cthulhu question.

Overcoming her player's years of Cthulhu playing and GMing, Milli leads the team inside, eventually finding a hint of light and noise from under the stairs. Opening the basement, they come face to face with the vampire from the pre-credits sequence charging up at them, while they can hear screams from below.

Milli pushes forwards to try and stake him, Ziggy hides behind his cross and gets past, and William realises that he much prefers the academic side of being a Prentice to the vocational training.

Ziggy gets a good look at a basement full of earth and coffins, then returns his attention to the vampire as it lifts Milli off her feet with one hand around her throat. As well as choking her, this gives her a good view of the little glowing light around the monster's neck.

Ziggy empties a bottle of holy water down the vampire's back, and he convulses and steams. As he's distracted, Milli snags the necklace and pulls it off him.

The glowing crystal fades. The vampire looks at it, and at Milli, twitches... and then flies backwards. Ziggy has to duck as the vampire smashes into the floor above and explodes in a shower of dust.

Ziggy: What did you do?
Milli: I, uh...

As William elects to guard the door rather than going into the basement, Ziggy and Milli open the coffins with crosses and holy water at the ready, duly splashing three kidnapped freshers and a French tourist.

Student: I'm awake! What the hell happened?
Milli: Oh, uh, the rugby club. Some sorta prank. You know what they're like.
Student: Yeah. Bloody rugby club! Bastards!

Just then, Jack phones.

Jack: Yeah, um, just checking the number works. I don't need stitches apparently. So, are you at the party?
Milli: I think the party's been cancelled.
Jack: It's only like nine o' clock.
Milli: Yeah, well, it was dead shortly after we got there.

Next day, Escher taps a map of the city with blue lines drawn on marking the boundaries of the shield, and holds up the necklace.

Escher: It's a chip from one of the standing stones, bound to a portal crystal. It allows any barred demon to cross the shield. Then, he could sire vampires inside it safely. When you removed it, the barrier threw him towards the nearest boundary.
Milli: Splat.
Escher: Quite. What really concerns me is where he acquired it, because it seems we face a cult of vampires who know our secrets and how to strike at us inside our refuge... as well as the panoply of demons, creatures and magics not held back by the spell. Many of which will doubtless join an attack against us... This may be the gravest threat the Watchers' training has faced for decades, even centuries. But face it we must. The world is counting on us. The Slayer is our sword, but we are their shield.
Ziggy: Go to Britain, they said. Have a good time, they said. Learn safely, they said.
Escher, quietly: The Earth is doomed.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Next time on The Watch House:
Milli and William sitting at a freshers' fair stall.
Ziggy looking at a flat.
Jack looking bemused as half of the rugby offensive line slam into each other clumsily.
Ziggy looking at a different flat.
William glaring at a fresher couple in the library.
Milli trying to convince a girl that she wasn't making a pass at her boyfriend.
A drink being thrown in someone's face...
Which leads to a punch...
Which leads to an all-out bar brawl.
Escher V/O: The next episode of The Watch House is Envy. Sunday at Six.



And now the Actual Play bit:

Two of the players - our own Joe Dizzy, playing Ziggy, and David, playing William - knew the game beforehand, Cat (playing Milli) is on her second session and Jack's player was still adjusting his character after he was written in. Nobody had a hard time picking anything up.

I used the Drama Point for Dramatic Editing and two DPs for a retroactive Heroic Feat houserules, so fails became passes after rolling and Milli happened to have a stake in her bag and Ziggy had a cross. Indeed, Milli and Zig burned through three or four DPs apiece in the two shortish fights.

I borrowed the game setup page from TNW and let the players read it. This lead to Jack being a fellow student entirely out of the loop. We'll have to tie him in more closely, sooner rather than later, because having him occasionally sniping from the sidelines and being kidnapped like first season Cordelia doesn't give his player very much to do.

I also prepped a poster showing King's by night and a gallery of the college School of History, casting all the supervisors (Cambridge for "lecturers") and possibly dropping hints for later. Or possibly not. Anyway, I'll carry on and cast NPCs as I introduce them. Next week, lots of students... And I mean lots. I've already started...

[SteveD]

Damn. Now I know why some people find it hard to comment on TNW. Everything there is worth commenting on. Every joke is hilarious, the plot is cool, the images perfect. It's an episode I wish I could have seen from a show I wish was real.

Don't bring Jack in too quickly. A few contrived reasons for him to be there a small sacrifice to have an outsider type.

Was this online, as I thought Dizzy was German?

Steve

[Jeffwik]

Damn.

[Professor Phobos]

Nice work. We should organize some sort of League of Buffy Actual Play report writers, compare notes, or somesuch.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by SteveD
Damn. Now I know why some people find it hard to comment on TNW. Everything there is worth commenting on. Every joke is hilarious, the plot is cool, the images perfect. It's an episode I wish I could have seen from a show I wish was real.
:eek:

I'll gladly take a bow, and lead the applause for my Cast.

Don't bring Jack in too quickly. A few contrived reasons for him to be there a small sacrifice to have an outsider type.
I don't plan to, but I'll have to find a fair few contrived reasons...

Was this online, as I thought Dizzy was German?
He's actually Greek raised in Germany, but he's in Edinburgh studying.

[colbabe]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
Jack: Yeah, um, just checking the number works. I don't need stitches apparently. So, are you at the party?
Milli: I think the party's been cancelled.
Jack: It's only like nine o' clock.
Milli: Yeah, well, it was dead shortly after we got there.

I like it already. Hot damn, this is going to be a good show.

I also liked "gone with the wind" as Watcher Slang for "staked vampire". That sounds like it could have come from Eddie.

[Jody Macgregor]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
I don't plan to, but I'll have to find a fair few contrived reasons...

Give him a cursed Rugby jersey.

[Mytholder]

If it's the game I'm thinking of, *waves at Cat*.

[morgue]

It is indeed that game.

*waves at Cat, and at Craig*

~`morgue, in awe of industry personage Gar

[Craig Oxbrow]

Gah. It's already being talked about by my players while they're elsewhere?

was she positive? :confused:

[Garry G]

Wow that's fucking great. I'm totally unable to be as organised as you lot. My games tend more towards the chaotic.

[Craig Oxbrow]

It just looks organised after the fact. I had three pages of printed material (one of them a poster) and one page of adventure stuff, of which 1/4 was the pre-credits teaser...

Thanks for the "great" bit though. :D

[Craig Oxbrow]

The Watch House 1.2: Envy

The Freshers' Fair for the whole university. Upwards of 5000 people coming and going.

For an idea of how many societies there are, look at the 2003 list here (http://www.cam.ac.uk/societies/).

And somewhere in the centre, the History Society. William and Milli manning it. William checks his watch and sighs. They've been on the stand for almost 38 minutes.

Milli: You know, if we're not careful, people will actually join.
William: Well, yes.
Milli: We could be more exciting.
William: I don't do exciting. I hang around with you while you do exciting.

They have, among other things, been told to keep an eye out for one Andrew Samson, a new student who is "in the know" for a reason that Escher neglected to explain fully. He duly turns up and asks to join, seeming very enthusiastic despite being a math student.

Milli: What do we do?
William: Get his money. Oh, and his student number.
Andy: Is anything happening?
William: We're the history society. Everything has pretty much happened.

They only realise it's him once he's wandered off again and they read his signature. So Milli heads off in pursuit, to William's consternation. She's here to present the image of a modern inclusive history society, something he isn't any use for.

Milli: I'm following him.
William: Getting details is good.
Milli: Or following.

So off she trots, leaving him alone armed only with some hastily photocopied flyers.

She doesn't find Andy, but she does see Timothy Wendell, president of the Latin Society, smile cheerily to the crowd he's gathered, gladhanding a bespectacled fresher with the skill of a seasoned society politician.

"Look at it this way - We find Latin all the time in our daily lives. Status. Status quo. Ergo is Latin for therefore. English is littered with Latin-isms. Look at Veni, Vidi, Vici. I came, I... uh... damn. It's on the tip of my tongue..."

"I saw, I conquered?" prompts the young man, adjusting his glasses.
"Yes! Damn it, why couldn't I remember that..."
The fresher shrugs lightly with a placid smile and turns to go.

Outside... he adjusts his glasses again, squints through them and sighs... then looks across at the archery society demonstration and narrows his eyes jealously, then heads off that way...

Credits!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Milli, wandering back, passes the fencing demonstration team as the coach complains "my arm's been cramped all day... can't hold a sword." She starts to form an opinion, and goes to check it.

Consulting the map of the societies' hall, she finds the French language society, after trying the French students' society, and confirms that they still know French.

Milli: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
French language guy suppresses a snicker.
Milli: So you know what that means?
French language guy: Yeah, that's, uh, what you tell girls.

Where's Ziggy in all this? Cut to Ziggy standing outside a tenement block with a "rooms for rent" sign, checking the street on the map... finding it's outside the shield... and leaving.

Milli wanders back, looking a tad puzzled. William looks up from his Times crossword.

Milli: Not a lot of takers?
William: We're rushed off our feet here. Do you know what this is? "Butterfly weather", three letters...

"Jake" (not his real name) a would-be musician that the Watchers in training know because he apparently has psychic visions, stops by and duly refuses to join the society.

Jake: So what do you get for the fee?
Milli: A flyer.
Jake: ...
Milli: It's a good flyer. Oh, and evening lectures, and a concession for museum trips. If you're not a student. Which you are.

Jake: I'll join your society if you come to my gig later.
William: What do you play?
Jake: Ironically progressive rock.

Andy returns, and this time Milli and William try to be more welcoming. This confuses him.

Milli: So, we see you're a mathematics student, so what's your interest in history?
Andy: I, uh, have a genuine interest in history.
Milli: So why are you interested in history? What in particular interests you?
Andy: Uh... Well, uh, if you don't learn from history you're doomed to repeat it?

As they try and decipher the meaning of this and thereby guess at Andy's significance to the Watchers' Council, they head off to practice:

Milli: You want to practice with me again, or have a chance against someone else?

The Brody is the main King's "undergraduate common room". It and the other three pubs on King Street are bustling tonight. And not just because the rugby club are camped out at the darts table. The freshers are enjoying the luxury of real ID allowing them to drink. "One hundred and eighty!" shouts a rather small woman, as a guy who doesn't look much like one of the rugby team (it is, in fact, the bespectacled fresher, now not bespectacled) removes the perfectly-places darts, smirks, and pats the startled and glowering rugby types on the shoulders.

That evening is the gig by Jake's band with no finalised name or lineup. Clare College Entertainments run a club every night in a basement space. The midweek and weekend nights are among the biggest on any campus in town.

Lush's Ladykillers fills the floor. A stylish young couple show off in the middle while a red-haired girl seethes silently at the nearest table.

And a dark-haired girl would appear to actually be checking William out...

But she's gone, perhaps behind a convenient nearby pillar, when Milli gets him to look.

At the bar, she happens to end up next to the ex-bespectacled fresher.

Milli: That was kinda odd with the Latin president losing it, wasn't it?
The Fresher: I guess some people just aren't good public speakers.
Milli: Yes, but he's never had a problem like that before. I guess you won't be joining the society then?
The Fresher: No, I learned all I need to know there...

Then a young woman shakes her head and puts up a hand to wave him off as he points over to the bar, and his shoulders slump... but there's a hint of a glare in his frown.

Cut for advertisements!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Jake's band takes the stage. They rank. Jake doesn't help by letting rip with a massive showoff guitar hero moment, then noticing the band are still here, rolling his eyes and storming off the stage.

William: This isn't progressive. I see no progress. Is loudness progress?

And in the audience, the fresher nods slightly, eyes narrowing...

Next day, our heroes are back in the societies fair. Milli is still looking around for further outbreaks of incompetence, and hears about the rugby team...

Coach Harrison (Steven Waddington (http://www.empireonline.co.uk/img/features/events/theparoleofficer/large9.jpg)): what the bloody hell kind of throw was that? It's supposed to go to his hands, not his ankle! Arse! Elbow! Not the same thing! Rrrr... let's try a snap forward. You should be able to manage that!

And so the offensive line set up. Shaking his head, the coach boots the ball - all five go for it - and slam into each other, collapsing in a heap.

Coach: You could bloody do this three days ago!

Milli: That's not exactly normal, is it?
William: It'll be a curse. Or they're just really uncoordinated.

Jake, meanwhile, overhears the head of the wine tasting society explaining why he's drinking water:

Wine Guy: I must have picked up Fresher Flu or something, I can't taste anything.
Jake: Well, you're drinking water...

Later on, as he wanders by, Milli asks if he's seen anything like that.

Jake: Yeah, the head of the wine society says he can't taste anything.
William: That doesn't surprise me. Have you seen some of the brands he likes?

William's wine snobbery aside, Milli is concerned.

Milli: Don't you think it's getting a bit weird?
William: Weird as in 'hit the books' weird?
Milli: I think it's weird.

The rugby freshers seem a tad subdued at the pub that night, for some reason.

Checking for Looky Girl prompts her to go and be Disappeary Girl.

Checking for Latin Guy reveals him striding up to the bar in a sharp black suit, being ignored by the same girl, and stomping off with a scowl.

And meanwhile:

What d'you mean that's it?
I mean that's it! I don't even know what I saw in you!

The female half of last night's coolest couple storms away from her brand-new ex, who glumly flicks at his now unruly hair, sticks his hands in his pockets, turns to go, and bangs his leg against a stool with a grunt...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Next day, our heroes take a headcount of all the societies with this kind of problem.
The head of the Karate club has been having muscle cramps since Monday.
Same with two of the fencing team.
One of the best in the Chess Club now can't remember how a knight moves.
A guitarist who was thinking of forming a band complains "I've lost my muse... y'know?"
The Archery Society don't seem to have lost anyone directly, but one of the freshers who showed a lot of promise hasn't come back... "Who? I don't know, didn't get a name."

Milli: No sign of any problems with the acrobatics team.
Jake: You do acrobatics?
William: Her mother was a monkey.
Jake: That was mean.
Andy: Yeah man, that was low.
William: You should see her father...

They don't get chance to ask outside the societies hall, but there's also a mechanic in town who can't remember how to change a car's oil, and a gourmet chef who now burns cheese on toast.

Obviously, the thing to do is to go and see Mr. Escher. So, naturally, Milli decides the best tactic is to try and draw the suspects out with - a pub quiz!

Milli: A quiz. With prizes.
William : We don't have prizes.
Milli: Right. Uh... Jake, can you organise something?
Jake: Um... Like what?
Milli: Beer. Beer is a good prize.

Later, there is discussion of the plan between Milli and William.

William: What exactly are you planning?
Milli: Well, I figure either Jake stole his ability, or he's a good target.

Also, it's a history quiz, and the history society hasn't been hit by whatever it is yet. So this might draw whoever it is out. In the meantime, they go to Escher's office just in case their Watcher invigilator, a man with decades of learning and years of experience in this subject, might happen to have some insight on a supernatural occurrence...

They find Andy there. He and Escher appear to have been discussing something... which they stop discussing as they arrive.

Escher: So, let me see if I understand this. You think that someone is using magic to steal people's skills and knowledge?
Jake: Is that impossible?
Escher: Oh, it's quite possible... with magic, obviously. Let's consult our books."

Escher: Yes, here it is. Theft of the Blessing. Listed in the Libra Memoria. Now, I think we... yes.

So he unlocks the even more secure bookshelf of his hidden private library. Flick flick...

Escher: For the Theft of the Blessing, 'the caster must lay a hand upon the blessed one within twelve hours of the invocation and the sacrifice of the beast. Should you be among the blest and stolen, these words only must you say as you lay hand upon the thief: This offering was not rightly taken, and I will it back.'

Milli: We're going to draw them out. With the pub quiz. And our special guest historian.

She looks to Escher and grins enthusiastically. He raises an eyebrow, blinks, and carries on.

Escher: Well... it's probably someone consumed by envy. They want what they cannot have. And once you've taken something once, it must be tempting to take more... Anyway, we can find recent spell activity with a map and a plumbline.

So out comes the map and the plumbline and... dowsing takes a while... Because there are rather a lot of leads. By the time Milli's done noting locations with her pen, the map looks like it has measles.

Escher: Hmm. Well. Narrowing it down, I can spot at least three significant spellcasters.
Milli: And how many minor ones?
Escher: Well, a city with such a large population of intellectuals is bound to attract an unusual number of mystics...

Milli also, as an aside, asks Escher if he can spot mystical activity on people. He asks why.

Milli: Jake totally killed with a guitar solo the other night.
Escher: Really. Well, of course, I saw Hendrix at the Isle of Wight.
Milli: Who? I grew up listening to classical music, remember?

Meanwhile, the rugby team still suck a bunch of ass.
And our heroes head off to check out possible leads.

William: Animal sacrifice. You check out pet shops, I'll go to the science lab.
Milli: It's like eight o' clock.
William: And?
Milli: The pet shops will be shut.
William: Oh. Uh, look for ones with broken windows?

So Milli ignores his idea but he goes to the lab anyway, and finds that a delivery of mice was signed for by Illegible Squiggle That Looks Like A Couple Of Ms, and never handed in.

On being informed of this as she tries to organise the pub quiz in under thirty minutes, Milli's lip trembles...

Milli: Somebody killed mousies?

The rugby club lurk sulkily in one booth, jabbing thumbs at the dartboard.

Player 1: Get up an' play.
Player 2: You get up an' play!
Player 3: Let's get some drinks in, we'll feel better.
Player 4: Yeah, right, the last batch were like, poisoned or something. Why we can't walk straight...
Player 1: Look, just because you're bloody useless...

Milli, still both suspecting Jake and wanting to use him as bait in case she's wrong, asks his to hand out questionnaires.

Jake: I'm not dishin' out papers.
Milli: Well, then, you can be the compere.

And as Milli goes to hand out questionnaires, William spots Looky Girl pointing her out to a girl, who marches over as she gives one to a random guy...

Shouty Girl: You makin' a pass at him?
Milli: Uh... No?
Shouty Girl's Guy: No, I never even looked at her!
Shouty Girl: You did too!
Shouty Girl's Guy: Look, just cool off!
Shouty Girl: Why should I?
And Shouty Girl's Guy, getting riled, splashes his drink in her face.
And she punches him right on the jaw.

"FIGHT!" someone shouts. William can spot it's Looky Girl.
The glaring rugby clubbers look up, then at each other... and then Player 2 pounces at Player 1 with a snarl...

William points out Looky Girl, and so Milli speeds off to give chase. Andy, covering the exits, and Jake, still handing out flyers, both miss her disappearing act as well, but as it happens Jack spots and follows her.

William looks around as well... And then a hand lashes out from the phone booth behind him with a perfectly-executed karate chop to the neck.

And when he wakes up, he's tied to a chair. And gagged. And in the middle of a circle of candles.

And the formerly bespectacled fresher, now standing taller and looking with clearer eyes, smiles a winning smile.

The Fresher: You're awake. Oh, good. I'd hate for you to miss this...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

The Fresher: I suppose this is where I explain my evil plan.

William, being gagged, manages a shrug.

The Fresher: It's simple enough, really. You go through life with a little interest in magic, come to the university Crowley studied at... but I figured I wanted a bit more. And apart from that, I saw all these people, more successful, more skilled, better looking... having a lot more luck with women... I was jealous. And when I found the Blessing spell in the library at Trinity, well, I had to give it a shot. But, I admit, I got greedy. I've learned my lesson...

He grins evilly as he leans in.

The Fresher: You won't tell... will you?

As the rest of our heroes find William gone and rush outside, they're confronted by Looky Girl!

Looky Girl: You're the Watchers, right?
Milli: I, uh, ah... that is... uh...
Looky Girl: Your friend's been taken.

She closes her eyes, holds up a key, lets it spin, looks at it.

Looky Girl: Come on.

Looky Girl: I know you guys are Watchers, so I was just keeping an eye on you. Then this. I don't feel entirely happy having another mystic on campus, let alone someone who'll start draining powers...
Milli: So, are you a witch?
Looky Girl: Not as such. Just a dabbler really. I can cast from books pretty well.
Milli: What's your name?
Looky Girl: Hm? Oh, sorry. Emma.

And meanwhile, someone stalks after the four.

And meanwhile meanwhile, the Fresher reaches towards William...

The Fresher: Let's see what you know...

And William pitches backwards in his chair, landing with a painful thud.

And then the cavalry arrive! Hurrah!

As the group approaches the location, their shadow turns out to be Jack, who has decided to follow Emma because she's purty. With the coordination of a rugby player who's lost all his coordination, he smashes into the door of the Fresher's hideout and nearly topples down the stairs.

The Fresher snarls, slams his hand down on a candle and a jet of flame bursts from his other hand!

As William whimpers and struggles with his bonds, the Fresher picks up a rapier with an expert's flourish, Jack staggers forwards and the rest of the group rush through the smoking doorway. Milli leaps over the banister and grabs another sword from the lair's selection.

The Fresher: Oh, I am so taking that!

The group fan out, covering William's escape and Jack's uselessness, Milli discovering that the Fresher is now a significantly better swordfighter than she is as Emma tries to position herself behind him to cast a counterspell...

Andy throws a brick at the Fresher. He slices it in two without looking at it, before pressing his attack.

Jack tries for a bearhug from behind. The Fresher's muscles snap and ripple and he flings him off, now looking a bit Mr. Universal.

William gets free and moves to swing his chair at him, just as Milli forces him into a step back and Emma puts a hand on him.

Emma: These offerings were not rightly taken, and I will them back!

A WHOOSH and a flash of light, and the Fresher, now skinny again, falls to his knees and topples face down, eyes rolled back in his head and drooling. Then William hits him with the chair.

William, guiltily: He moved!
Emma: Because you hit him...

Jack duly regains his abilities, and is rather baffled as to his presence.

Emma: I suppose you'll have to report this to your teacher, won't you? You're very good with records, I hear.
Milli: Well, we don't have to mention you, if you'll agree to help us if... something like this comes up.
Emma: Sure.

And we close on the fallen mystic in a hospital coma ward.

Orderly 1: So, what happened to him?
Orderly 2: No idea. He came in like that. No prior history or signs of trauma.
Orderly 1: You think he'll ever wake up?
Orderly 2: Who knows?

And close on his eyes... as they roll back down and look around...

[Craig Oxbrow]

Next time on The Watch House:
Lightning over Cambridge.
A deserted manor house outside of town.
Milli flailing at something in the darkness with a burning torch.
Ziggy stepping into a darkened room, sniffing the air, and looking nervous.
William desperately flicking through a book.
Jake holding a door shut as something slams into it from the other side.
Andy tensing up and clenching his fists as he looks around and the darkness seems to move about him.
Escher V/O: The next episode of The Watch House is Get Out. Sunday at Six.

Actual Play bit

Because Buffy gives out much the same experience points as full Unisystem games, but has a significantly shorter list of significantly broader skills, each XP is more powerful. One of the players pointed this out, so I'll be chopping the XP system around a bit.

With two new players (both moderately familiar with the system and the setting) the group has become more varied - and gained its first mysterious secret. The arrivals did mean that we started a bit late and I had a bit of a tricky time working everyone in. Hopefully things will be a bit clearer next week.

[morgue]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
Then a young woman shakes her head and puts up a hand to wave him off as he points over to the bar, and his shoulders slump... but there's a hint of a glare in his frown.

I got confused by this paragraph.

Cool account! Luv the French Society bit...

~`morgue

[Craig Oxbrow]

The Fresher (for it was he!) asked the girl for a drink. She waved him off. He duly looked disappointed... but a bit glary.

The French soc, and the pub quiz, are all Cat. Yay Cat!

[Joe Dizzy]

Sounds great. I'm looking forward to joining you all again next week.

[David Goodner]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
Because Buffy gives out much the same experience points as full Unisystem games, but has a significantly shorter list of significantly broader skills, each XP is more powerful. One of the players pointed this out, so I'll be chopping the XP system around a bit.

No, Wait, stop!

Advancement is way, way more expensive in Buffy.

Everything is 2x desired (IIRC) stat. So, to increase your Get Medieval from 3 to 4 costs 8, whereas, to increase your Hand Weapon (Swords) from 3 to 4 only costs 4.

Attributes really feel the burn. In Full Uni, it's usually just 5 points to bump up a stat.

David G.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Yeah? oh. Hmm.

Let me consult my books...

[Professor Phobos]

Not only does that sound enjoyable, but I really like the premise behind it. Yoink.

[SteveD]

Perfection. I look forward to reading this series every week now.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Yikes. Pressure.

Also, Thank you. :D

[sasori]

Hey! That sounds like a cool game! Wish I was playing...


...Oh, hang on, I am! :D

"Jake"!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Gabba gabba hey! One of us!

[colbabe]

Yay! A player! :D Now I'm getting all nostalgic about how I joined RPG.Net after TNW started up... ah, the glory days...

Hey Craig, could you give us extended character info? Start off a new thread if there are spoilers for the players...

[Craig Oxbrow]

I can probably manage that...

[Craig Oxbrow]

Watch House 1.3: Get Out

Lawrence: Here we are.
Kelvin: Okay, Halloween, but are you sure this is a good idea?
Lawrence: It's perfect. What could be better than a party in a haunted house?
Kelvin: A party in a house that's supposed to be haunted but actually isn't?
Lawrence: Exactly!

This agreed, the two men return to the door of a large, lightless house. The first to speak looks around warily as the second unlocks the door... shoves against it... gets his friend to help... and finally the door bangs open and they both stagger inside.

Lawrence: See? The lighting works and everything.
He flicks a switch and a large, two-storey hall is dimly illuminated.
Lawrence: Pays to be the son of the top estate agent in the southeast.
Kelvin: Well, it's very...
Lawrence: Atmospheric?
Kelvin: Gloomy is what I was going for.
Lawrence: All the better. We don't need to decorate it. It's pre-spookied. And just think: looots of bedrooms.
Kelvin: With, uh, beds?
Lawrence: Fully furnished.
Kelvin: Right. Well... if it's so perfect... why hasn't your father been able to let it for the last six months?
Lawrence: Well, it's perfect for us. That doesn't mean it's perfect for, say, double income no kids yet. They tend not to want atmosphere...
Kelvin: And it being haunted is a bit too much atmosphere.
Lawrence: Precisely. But for us, haunted is just what we want...

And as he says this, one of the shadows in the corner behind him moves, ever-so-slightly... and then another... and another...

MEANWHILE...
Ziggy runs headlong through the streets, pursued by three snarling vampires.

Ziggy: Crap crap crap crap!

The first rakes a clawed hand through the air right behind him and then slams face-first into thin air. It ripples like steaming water as he staggers back, shaking his head and growling, confused...

Whiz thud EEYYYAAA as a crossbow bolt slams into him. "Jake" reloads as Andy covers Ziggy slowing down and wheezing.

Andy fires off a bolt, and the second vampire ducks, then turns to run again.

Jake bolts it too, the third flees and has to be chased.

Ziggy: Right... huhhh... next time... wait for my witty comment before you kill them... Ugh. I'm never running bait again.
Andy: I don't do the running thing. I do the hiding in a safe place thing.
Ziggy: Yeah, well, sending out the black guy to be bait, that's not good.
Jake: I'm an artist. I don't run.
Ziggy: Sure you do. You run from your landlord... women... their parents... their boyfriends...

Could he have found a flat any closer to the end of the shield? Sure, by about twelve feet.

Jake: Anyway... we have a party to go to tomorrow.

And that night, Jake receives his first Psychic Vision. Or Recurring Nightmare, possibly. But anyway, he sees darkness moving, coiling, spreading and lashing out...

Lightning over Cambridge, as if on cue, and then Credits!
(Hear a live version of the theme, Evil Eye by Ash, here! (http://www.ash-unofficial.com/mp3.htm))

[Craig Oxbrow]

And so, as Jake's hangers-on, some of our heroes attend the soiree held by Lawrence Pendleton and Kelvin Andrews, the first and second speakers from the precredits.

The place is busy, garbage are on the boombox, and assorted students mingle. Ziggy, feeling that Halloween requires a bit of showmanship, turns up in a suit, and attempts to impress the partygoers with his John Cleese impression. This extends to saying "Splendid!" quite loudly.

Emma Radcliffe we have already met, of course. Jake goes over to talk to her, after explaining who she is:

Jake: She's a wannabe witch. And she's not registered.
Ziggy: They register that kind of thing?
Andy: Yes, you do.
Ziggy: We do. Yes.

Francis, Barry, Tim and Freddy, of the freshers' rugby team, hanging out with Jack. Gits.

Ginny, Michelle, Nicole, Amanda and Naomi, sorta friendly. Andy realises he can't talk about anything except math, and so goes away and ponders an exit strategy.

Ziggy: This is a party. You're not supposed to plan on running and hiding. Unless it's one of those parties.
Andy: One of those parties?
Ziggy: I'll tell you when you're older.

So we get to see various people outside of class, get a sense of who likes who, hates who, whatevers who and so on...

And of course Lawrence brags and Kelvin whimpers about the place being haunted. Lawrence smiles amiably as he conducts a tour of the haunted mansion.

Lawrence: There's the basement. But you don't want to go down there.
Andy: No, we don't.
Emma: Why don't we?
Jake: Basement in a haunted house.
Lawrence: It's simply not done.

And then, to help underscore his point, the light goes out and the basement is flooded with darkness.

Emma: So, upstairs then.

Lawrence: Well, my father's been trying to lease out the house for six months now, and the previous owners only stayed for a month... and the owners before that for two... And so on. The house stands idle more often that not, as it has ever since the Thirties.
Andy: What happened in the Thirties?
Lawrence: Murder, old chap. Murder.

Everyone exchanges a knowing look. Jake, meanwhile, pauses as he steps onto a spot on the landing and shivers...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Lawrence: Technically, the house still belongs to the ancestral owners, the Cranshaws, but none of them have set foot in here since 1936. That was the year that Morris Cranshaw, heir to the family estate, was murdered by his wife of six months on this very floor, before she hanged herself. Ghastly business... Bathroom, en suite, very nice. Guest bedroom, double... ah, sorry... Anyway, there are all kinds of rumours about the reasons, but all we know for sure is the result. Nobody has had the courage to live here for more than two months in the last sixty years. Indeed, few people have the guts to spend the night alone... all the more reason to spend it with friends, hm?

He adds that last remark with a sidelong smirk to Sophie as she passes, and sidesteps to intercept her and slide his arms around her shoulders.

Jake: Smooth line, man. Smooth line.
Sophie: Oh, I thought so.
Jake: So, which is the big haunted room?
Lawrence: Well, one of the bedrooms, of course. The, ah, master bedroom.

The slight pause indicates he's making that bit up, but the group go and look anyway, noting that the door is shut but there's nobody inside.

Lawrence: Hmm. Well, obviously someone wanted to "reserve" it.
Andy: Wishing you'd thought of that?
Lawrence: Yes...

There's a whole lot of nothing unusual there.

Jake: Okay, the flickery lights, nice touch, but you could have had something drop on us or something.
Lawrence: Yes, well, I didn't want to overdo it.

When they double-check with Kel, he confirms the following.

Kelvin: Well, yeah. That's the story. I don't know how much I'd believe Lawr, but still... place is creepy, isn't it?

Jake attracts the group's attention to the "cold spot" on the landing.

Jake: Shift your hand over here.
Ziggy: Wow. At one point it's right and then it's left. That's amazing, Jake, really.
Jake: So you're not getting anything?
Ziggy: Wait, just when you thought the lack of anything was scary, just then, it does nothing!
Jake: Okay, normally I'm right with the 'repeat until funny' trick but now you're just taking the piss.

And then Emma comes over and recoils from the cold spot as well. So the four of them discuss what there is to discuss. They conclude that there's a cold spot.

Ziggy: You pull my hand around and there's nothing.
Andy: Pretty much a lack of anything frightening. Bit disappointing for a Halloween party really.
Ziggy: You see all those girls over there?

Andy remains unwilling to talk to girls, so he goes to hide in the kitchen as the rest of our heroes go exploring.

Ziggy: He's going to the basement. He insists.
Jake: I don't remember insisting on anything.
Ziggy: Should we inform anyone of your passing?

Emma rolls her eyes and heads for the basement. Jake follows and Ziggy trails along behind.

Ziggy: It's mature this way, it doesn't look like he's trying to pick you up... you're not, are you?
Jake: Ah... I think we should go and look for torches, just in case.
Emma: Good idea.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

So they divert to the kitchen, where Andy greets them in triumph.

Andy: I found beer!
Ziggy: Where?
Andy: In the fridge. See?

The fridge light fizzles out.

Andy: I'm having issues with my fridge.

Jake finds a battery torch and checks it with the thoroughness of a Boy Scout. He checks the bulb, the batteries, the connectors. If something goes wrong with this torch, he'll know it's supernatural.

Ziggy: Satisfied? Okay then, you go first.
Jake: I think he's making sure I get used as bait this time.
Emma: You guys play bait a lot?
Jake: More than we'd like.

And so they descend into the gloom, with Ziggy standing by the door. And the lights go out.

Jake: Did you do that?
Ziggy: No.
Emma: Could you say you did?

Jake switches on the torch - and it goes out. Then comes back on as he swings it away from the centre of the basement. So he swings it back. On-off-on. He tries his cigarette lighter and that works fine... but he gets a strong feeling of being watched from the darkness.

Jake: Something watching - and not the right kind of watching.

They take stock.

Jake: So. Something downstairs that doesn't want to be seen... and maybe something in the fridge too. Hm. I've been in flats with fridges like that.
Ziggy: Well, it's something spooky. Which is appropriate.
Jake: Oh, now you're with me on the whole spooky thing.
Ziggy: Well, maybe it's just a random odd thing. But let's make sure nobody gets hurt anyway.
Andy: So keep an eye out, in case we see anything odd or hear any scream-
Scream from upstairs: GYAAAAH!
Andy: Or do we follow the screaming from upstairs?

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

A minute ago...
Naomi leads Tim into one of several hotel-sized double rooms, and pauses to look up and around. Naomi: Cool...
Tim: Yeah, very cool.
He smiles and leans in to kiss her. He quickly pulls his top over his head and drops it on the floor, where the shadow pools... and slides under the bed as the couple drop onto it...

Tim struggles with Naomi's second button and she tries not to roll her eyes - when the bed shifts under them, bouncing an inch or two to the left. Tim unbalances and pitches face-first into Naomi's cleavage. She swats him on the head.

Naomi: Get off!
Tim: I didn't do it on purpose... The bloody bed moved.
Naomi: Oh yeah, pretty conveniently, wasn't -

And then it shifts again. And as Tim grabs the side, Naomi looks up and sees a black stain crawling up the wall and across the ceiling towards her...

So as our heroes rush up the stairs, Naomi runs out of the bedroom, clutching her top closed, quickly followed by the shirtless Tim. Nicole and Amanda for a defensive line around Naomi as he approaches.

Nicole: Did he...?
Naomi: No, he didn't. I just... gaaaahh...

She makes the universally-understood "creeped out" gesture of waving her hands around shakily and hunching her shoulders. And she makes a beeline for the door, Nicole and Amanda trailing after...

Barry: Oh, very smooth, Tim, very smooth. You're Don Juan, you really are.

Jake: Okay, this is bad.
Ziggy: I thought you wanted a Halloween scene.
Jake: So you've entirely reversed your position just to disagree with me?
Ziggy: Basically. I'm saying whatever pisses you off.

Jake looks in the room and sees nothing unusual... until the door slams shut behind him. Andy tries to pull it open on the other side. Eventually they realise they're pulling against each other, and the door opens. Of course, next time they look, the now-empty room is locked.

This puts something of a damper on proceedings, as Tim stalks out looking irritable and the rest of the rugby lads fall in, the various groups or girls and boys fragment and drift off... So our heroes go to see what Lawrence actually knows, as well as encouraging those remaining to depart.

Jake: Well, we could put an Aqua CD on.
Ziggy: Or Phil Collins.
Jake: That would sure make me run.
Emma: Yeah, but we don't want to make the ghost more angry.

Knocking on the door of the master bedroom, there is no answer. So they try the door, and Lawrence emerges holding his shirt closed. Behind him, Sophie pulls up the bed covers.

Lawrence: Don't you knock?
Ziggy: You didn't.
Lawrence: Fair point. What do you want?
Ziggy: Naomi just ran out screaming.
Lawrence: Well, obviously some people are more sensitive to the psychic aura of the house than others.
Jake: Riiight. Well, people are leaving anyway.
Lawrence: Damn.
Jake: No, that's good. In case there's actually something going on.
Lawrence: Something? Like what? Ghosts?
He smirks.
Jake: Like, er... somebody peed in the punch.
Ziggy: Like the rugby team.
Lawrence: Wouldn't put it past them. Blame the rugby team. Good. But, what, you want to evacuate?
Jake: Yes.
Emma: Say it's the ghosts.
Lawrence: Why?
Emma: They're leaving anyway, and this way it'll be memorable.

So Lawrence sighs and goes to button his shirt up. And, looking back, the group notice that all the empty rooms' doors are now shut and that the lights are dimming.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

So our heroes make sure they're the last out. By that point, the whole house is dark and all the doors except the exit are shut.

Ziggy: You think that's a sign?
Jake: I hadn't picked up on it.

And now they're all getting that feeling of being watched. Andy in particular grits his teeth as he glances around warily...

Andy: Well, we're in trouble if we want to get back in.
Ziggy: And we'd want to get back in why?
Andy: Well, we might. Maybe with a chainsaw?

Andy says that as they step out, and the door slams behind them.

Andy: Maybe we shouldn't mention that chainsaw bit.
Jake: It's that one step too far...

Andy: Well, we could knock and see if there's an answer.
Emma: And say what?
Jake: Trick or treat... Not what you want to ask a ghost.
Ziggy: Why not?
Emma: They tend to go for "trick".

Andy shoulder-barges the door, and yelps as it doesn't budge and his arm does.

Andy: just testing?

Obviously it's time to hit the books. With William and Milli having been off practising, Andy calls Escher. As it turns out, he's actually out on a Saturday night.

Andy: Hi, Mister Escher... We noticed some, uh, super things. We let a ghost lock us out...

And as he shuts his phone:

Andy: And how come you get to have a social life when every time we go to a club or a party a monster attacks us or something?

They ponder their options.

Jake: It's just not cricket, as you would say.
Ziggy: As who would say?
Jake: As you would say. If you're still doing that pretending to be English thing.
Ziggy: Ah. Er... Splendid...

Emma: Well, we're locked out and we hope we got everyone out... but if it wants one specific person... I wish I hadn't thought of that...

Making the rounds to ensure there's nobody banging on any of the windows, they pause at the backdoor and listen, and find that they can hear the darkness hissing...

Andy: Look in the keyhole. You know you want to...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Emma decides to sneak off at this point, as Watchers are getting involved in an official capacity.

Emma: Call me if you need me, okay?

Milli is likewise indisposed but, sure enough, William is found in his room studying.

William: Yes, well, I wasn't invited to the scary party, was I?
Jake: Sure you were. You were just reading at the time. You nodded and went "uh-huh" and turned the page.
William: That means I'm not listening.
Ziggy: Well, uh, less sulking, more working.
William: I can sulk and work at the same time.
Jake: And you're damn fine at both.

And so William demonstrates his research-fu and his library access privileges.

It turns out that Morris Cranshaw actually died in 1955, of heart failure, in Bristol. But his young wife, Barbara, did indeed die in 1936, of "death by misadventure". Some kind of disagreement over the ownership of the house following the separation...

Ziggy: So we have a ghost who just doesn't let people into her house.
Jake: Well, we need to do something.
Ziggy: We do? We do. We watch. William, what do you think?
William: Well, I'd rather not have a haunted house with a ghost that can totally control it in town.

Ziggy: Is there a ritual we have to do? Like, dancing around? With sticks?
Jake: You're taking the Englishness thing too far if you start Morris dancing.
Andy: Well, what about an exorcism?
Jake: Where are we going to find a priest at half-eleven on Saturday night?
William: Midnight mass?
Ziggy: And won't we all die with exorcism?
Jake: That was just the movie.
Ziggy: Oh. Okay.
Jake: No, what we have to do is talk to her.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

So, obviously it might help if they had the keys. So they knock on Lawrence's door. No answer.

Ziggy: If you don't answer I'll start singing.
Jake: For God's sake answer!
Ziggy: How does Rule Britannia go?
Jake: I'm not telling you!
Ziggy: Fine. Always look on the bright side of life...

The door opens in a shot. Sophie, clad in a sheet and a scowl, looks around the door.

Sophie: YES?

Andy: (gulp)
Ziggy: Ah, we, ah...
Jake: That is...
Ziggy: We forgot something at the house. So could we get the key?

Lawrence is briefly visible, hiding his modesty with a pillow, as he quickly hands the keys over.

And so we return to the house. Midnight. Total silence and pitch darkness.

The key doesn't turn. So they knock. A low, dull knock echoes from within.

Ziggy: Do the talking thing.
Andy: I -
Ziggy: Not you.

Jake: Mrs. Cranshaw? We're here to help you.

And the door bangs open.

As Jake steps inside, the wave of darkness recedes like a time-lapse shot of low tide, until finally a column of darkness coalesces into the black shape of a woman standing on the cold spot, looking over the balcony.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Jake: We know you died here.
A nod.
Jake: Were you murdered?
A shake of the head.
Jake: Oh. So why are you still here? Why can't you move on?
Barbara: this house is mine.
Jake: Right. Uh, so, do you just want to stay?
A shake of the head.
Jake: Well, what do you want? Revenge? Your husband's already dead.
Barbara: yes...
Jake: Did you...?
Barbara: no... but I would have liked to have seen it.
Jake: Well, what else?
Barbara: proof. this house is mine.
Jake: And then you can rest?
Barbara: I don't know, I've never been able to rest. but it might be something.
Jake: Okay. Proof. Like how?

The door to the study swings open and the lights come on.

Jake: Right...

And as he steps into the room, a drawer in the bureau flies open. Inside is a deed, dated June 1936, declaring the house belongs to Barbara Cranshaw (Mrs.).

As he steps back out, the landing is deserted. The door slams behind him as he leaves.

Closer perusal reveals the deed was signed by the firm of Pendleton and Associates. Pendleton...

Cut to Lawrence's door again.

A knock is greeted by the distinctive thud of a boot being thrown at the door.

Ziggy: God save our gracious Queen...
Lawrence: Piss off!

Lawrence appears at the door, holding up a pair of unbuttoned trousers.

Jake: We need you to get these deeds to your dad. There's been a mixup.
Lawrence: Good. Thank you. Bye.
Jake: It's important.
Lawrence: Right. Yes. Bye.
Ziggy: Do it as soon as possible, okay?
Lawrence: Yes. Bye.
Jake: Thanks.
Lawrence (slamming door): Bye.

And so out heroes withdraw. And as Jake gets into his digs... the lights don't work.

Jake: Aww noooo... what more can I do?

Mrs. Cranshaw's ghost sits on the edge of the post. A hint of a smile on her shadow-black features.

Barbara: I just thought you should know I'll be moving on now.

And the room fills with light, and Jake can just see Barbara clearly for a moment before she vanishes in a flash. He blinks, smiles weakly, slumps onto his bed and is soon in a deep, dreamless sleep.

Cut to the formerly haunted house, with the head of a large family taking down the "FOR SALE - SOLD" sign...

[Craig Oxbrow]

Next time on The Watch House:
Milli rolling to duck away from a clawed hand slashing over her head.
Escher loading a crossbow.
William filling a bag with holy water and garlic.
Emma hiding behind Jake as something looms out of the dark...
Andy narrowing his eyes and tensing up.
Ziggy grimacing...
Escher V/O: The next episode of The Watch House is Nocturne. Sunday at Six.

Actual Play bit

I was down three players this week. tpo William has withdrawn (leaving me with an NPC, since William is the norm for the setting from which the other PCs deviate) tpo Milli was away, and tpo Jack was struggling with a computer science problem. At the game table.

So this writeup is longer because I took more notes of the dialogue, because there was more dialogue, because there was less actual game. No Milli to chase after the vampire fleeing out of the shield, no William to bring his research materials to the haunted house...

We finished early, and this became the first episode centring on a specific character (Jake) by default as his player (hey Derek) had the scary vision and lead from the front from then on while Andy and Ziggy made snarky asides...

And how much XP do Qualities and Drawback removal cost? 1 for 1?

[SteveD]

I can't read all this right now, I'm paying for my net access. I'll try to read it tonight.

I'd say charge double, but one for one would work fine, too.

Drawbacks are pretty hard to remove, though. Forex, if you kill your adversary, you just get another one.

What's being changed?

Steve

[Craig Oxbrow]

Yeah, it's nine pages in Word here...

Jake's player noticed the psychic stuff in The Magic Box and decided he wanted Spirit Medium after the night he'd had, and to cut back on his smoking (and drop his Addiction by a point) in hopes of neatening himself up a bit.

[SteveD]

If it's retooling characters, it should be a free shift. I always allow my players some grace in this regard. EG John discovered after the pilot that he was a Clown. He asked if he could thus take Clown, I said yes.

But if it's getting over his nicotine addiction, you are completely within your rights to make him roleplay out every single agonising moment of the withdrawal from the world's most addictive narcotic.

That is to say, it's gotta be part of the plot.

Gaining psychic abilities should be likewise, and a one-for-one XP cost on top of that seems fine.

Steve

[colbabe]

Originally posted by SteveD
EG John discovered after the pilot that he was a Clown. He asked if he could thus take Clown, I said yes.

But if it's getting over his nicotine addiction, you are completely within your rights to make him roleplay out every single agonising moment of the withdrawal from the world's most addictive narcotic.

Not that John has one. I mean, really. Second-hand smoke from the pub is bad enough.

Craig, lovin' the stuff. Bring it on.

[SteveD]

Short and sweet. Simple concept, kept alive by excellence in dialogue throughout. I especially liked:

Ziggy: Basically. I'm saying whatever pisses you off.

How did you handle NPCs talking to each other? I can never do that. I just summarise instead.

Steve

[Craig Oxbrow]

I keep it to an absolute minimum. Emma made a few asides when other NPCs were talking, and avoided being in the same scene as NPCified William.

I had the Lawrence and Kelvin precredits bit worked out, and used the simple method of making Lawrence loud and well-spoken and Kelvin a lot more soft-spoken and reticent.

(About halfway through, I realised I was basing Lawrence's level on self-confidence on James Wallis.)

Likewise, there were all of five lines in the Naomi-Tim-Nicole scene.

And, of course, thanks. :D

[Joe Dizzy]

It was lots of fun, but then again I enjoy character interaction much more than solving any plot problems or beating up monsters.

Joe

[Craig Oxbrow]

Watch House 1.4: Nocturne

Previously on The Watch House:

Escher V/O: We are protected by a warding shield. Vampires and other "ungodly possessing demons" cannot enter within an area bounded by leylines marked by a series of standing stones...

We see a vampire slamming into the Shield, as if hitting a wall in mid-air, and staggering back.

Escher V/O: A Mr. Ziggy Roots. Sent to study with us after he witnessed too much at home...

We see Ziggy lying on grass at night, eyes wide in shock, looking up at something...

Escher V/O: Andrew Sampson...

We see Escher and Andy interrupted in the midst of a clearly tense discussion, falling silent.

Escher V/O: Keep an eye on him.

A shot of Andy tensing up, hands clenching and unclenching into fists, eyes narrowed.

Escher V/O: Jake here is apparently slightly precognitive and clairvoyant.

Jake wakes from a nightmare.

Escher V/O: He may prove useful.

Jake V/O: Emma's a wannabe witch.

Emma (Laura Fraser (http://www.miranda-richardson.com/laurafraser/lflaurfr34.jpg )) explaining: I'm not that powerful.

Emma lays a hand on the power thief and there's a blinding flash...

And finally a shot of a familiar middle-aged man meeting a vampire, showing no fear.

Middle-aged man: Proof enough that it works?

And a shot of the vampire holding up a small necklace containing a glowing gem and looking across at the library of King's College...

[Craig Oxbrow]

It's Sunday, November the First, the First Day of Winter, and Cambridge celebrates in traditional style. No, the drinking comes later. And the streaking too. And the idiots climbing the buildings. Instead, at ten King's begins the day's festivities with the ceremonial herding of the cattle.

Cattle?
Yes, cattle. The fields behind King's were given by the Crown to the college as pasture for no fewer than eight cows. Generally, these visiting cows only see the meadows during the holidays, in tourist season, but they sometimes visit for special occasions such as the first day of winter.

It being slightly crisp by Cambridge standards, Ziggy arrives with three layers on under his jacket, a hat, gloves and a scarf. No-one says anything.

He looks at the crowd on the stands, watching the time-honoured spectacle of all of eight cows being moved around a field.

Ziggy: You British are weird.

And the stipulation often leads to rustling by undergrads from other colleges, so the Queen has had to waive the reversion of the lands on several occasions. Andy finds the concept of rustling just for a prank especially puzzling.

Andy: Who'd steal a cow and not eat it?
Jake: Is there a lot of rustling where you come from?
Andy: Er... no.
Ziggy: I refer you to "you British are weird".
Jack: Well, what traditions do you have in Jamaica?
Ziggy: We sit on the beach and smoke, and watch bikini girls...
Jake: We British are weird...

And off our heroes meander to meet assorted individuals. Jake waves and heads over to see Emma.

Ziggy: Well, I could follow and cause trouble, but that wouldn't be very friendly.
Jake: No, it wouldn't.
Ziggy: So I won't.

And he follows anyway.

Today Emma has her hair tied back, sunglasses, and a vending cup of cola and straw, despite the supposedly inclement weather.

Jake: Aren't you cold?
Emma: Cold? This isn't cold.
Ziggy: Yes it is!
Emma: I'm Scottish. This is like September back home.
Now, see, if these were Highland cows they wouldn't have to go indoors in this weather. Also, cuter.
Ziggy: Cows? Cute?
Emma: Well, compared to these. They got the long shaggy hair and fringes and, uh...
Ziggy: Cows are cute?... You British are weird.

And they talk about cows and college and everything and nothing...

[Craig Oxbrow]

(Wow, this pre-credits is really long.)

And other people get up to other things too.
The last ice cream of the year - unless you buy some in town - sold next to the first roast chestnuts of the year - unless you had some already...

Ziggy tracks down Sophie (Jade Ball (http://www.livinginhope.com/stills/lih_cast_12.jpg)) among the stalls. Out of a general need to tempt fate? Who knows?

Ziggy: Y'know, the not just wearing a blanket look isn't that bad.

You can actually hear the look as he heads away... (See for yourself.)

Jake: You should maybe have gone with something about togas.
Ziggy: Y'know, maybe I'll go back in about five minutes with another line.
Emma: I'm sure she'll appreciate that.

The cows duly go back inside. There is applause, to Ziggy's further bafflement.

Ziggy: This is amazing. First they're in, then they're out, then they're in again! Now I understand why your country was the supreme power and the height of culture for centuries.
Jake: It's this or socialising with William in the library.

Andy, meanwhile, demonstrates his leet striking out with girls skill. We won't dwell, except to note his gloomy demeanour. In close-up.

We return to Jake, Emma, Ziggy and the passing Jack, as Em spots Rosalind Beckett (Rosamund Pike (www.tccandler.com/Rosamund_Pike_bw_HS.jpg)), daughter of the Earl of Hertfordshire and expected valedictorian of the College. If it had a "head girl" she'd be a shoe-in.

Emma: Don't look now, Rosalind's organising the winter Mingle and she probably didn't know you were a musician till Ginny and/or Nicole just reported it.
Jake: Winter Mingle?
Emma: End of term ball.
Ziggy: ... What's a term?
Jake: It's a kind of sea bird.
Ziggy: Right, I see...
Emma: Um...?
Ziggy: Really, I'm just giving you jumping-off points for jokes, you know?
Jake: We appreciate that.
Jack: You know how long it takes to come up with one-liners?
Ziggy: No, it takes long?
Jack: You've been working for half an hour on that one for Sophie.

Emma grins. And on the road across from the green, someone takes a photograph of her smiling.
And within an hour, a middle-aged man hands it, and a portfolio of other photographs, to a figure standing in the shadows of a windowless room. We see Jake next to Emma, Milli in profile at the Societies Fair, William loading a bag with books, Ziggy looking up at a sign pointing to the library, Andy nearly stepping out of shot, Escher walking to his car...

Middle-aged man: So, we will ensure that you can pass through the shield. And, in return...

A dark-nailed hand rifles through the selection of images, and pauses, tapping one with its index finger.

Scary voice: This one. We will do as you ask if you guarantee we can kill this one.
Middle-aged man: Well, there's no problem there. We have a deal. It's a pleasure doing business with you...

As all the players point at each other accusingly, roll credits!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Ziggy: That was almost a life-changing experience. Cows. Moving.
Jake: I'd think you'd have had more life than that.
Ziggy: I said almost...

And so there are silly but traditional activities from here to the pub. And in the pub too. Pennies are dropped into pints, rubber ducks are set free on the river, Jesus College has a display of near-nudity unbecoming its dignity, the ten-foot pillars lifting Sir Christopher Wren's library at Trinity off the ground is the site of an overly complex game of Tig... There is much, much to do and see.

Jake, meanwhile, ponders the practicalities of musicianship as Rosalind looms ever closer.

Jake: She didn't know I play? I should fire my publicist.
Emma: You have a publicist?
Jake: Well, no. I do it myself.
Emma: Ahh...

Rosalind: "Jake", right? I believe the air quotes are important?
Jake: Not really, no. Jake is fine.
Ziggy: We mostly call him "dude".
Rosalind: I see. Well, anyway. I understand that you have a band?
Jake: Not in so many words, at the moment. It's in a state of flux.
Rosalind: I see. I was just wondering if you might be able to fill a slot at the Mingle, so might you be able to, ah, de-flux by then?
Jake: Six weeks? Probably.
Rosalind: Oh, excellent. I look forward to seeing you then. And if you need rehearsal space I'd like to hear it, of course.

Jake: Guess I better find a band then...

Andy and Ziggy happen to meet William. Andy suggests the library, as it may be slightly warmer in there. Ziggy concurs. William mentions that he's currently researching one of the Trinity collections, and they head that way... only to find half of the freshers playing tig. William looks suspiciously at Andy.

William: Was that all planned or was it just luck?
Andy: It was just luck.
Ziggy: You should never say anything you've done was just luck. It was all planned.
Andy: It was all planned.
Ziggy: And if something's bad luck, it must be a conspiracy.

Ziggy wanders off to harass Jake and Emma some more, and finds them watching a flotilla of rubber ducks float down the river Cam.

Ziggy: Is there more "you British are weird"? I seem not to think rubber ducks are funny.
Jake: It's one of the basic forms of comedy. Juxtaposition of elements, things being out of context. And you're not drunk enough.
Ziggy: I'm just wondering who is releasing them, and for what purpose? I mean, what if there's some darker motive? Someone takes the rubber duck thing too far... maybe invests them with life?
Emma: Um...
Ziggy: Imagine an evil spirit in the form of a rubber duck. Now, see, that'd be funny.
Jake: I'm scared.
Emma: Let's get away from the river. And Ziggy.

Andy, following, decides to play saviour of ducks, and possibly also confirm a lack of evil spirits therein.

Andy: There's tig, and people are naked, and I'm sure this must all be significant in some way.
Emma: I think the cold's getting to him.

It being the last punt of the year, it's his only chance to commandeer a vessel and rescue the innocent bits of plastic. Sadly, the last punt of the year is also the first punt of his life and, as it turns out, it really is harder than it looks. He swims to shore, rubber ducks in hand. Nobody offers applause, let alone a towel. One of the girls rolls her eyes at his shiver-inducing antics. He can't win. Bedraggled and lovelorn, he suggests a nice, healing trip to the pub.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Ziggy: Want a drink?
Jake: Yeah.
Ziggy: Bar's over there. Could you get me one too?
Emma: Good one. You've been using the time well. Honing.
Ziggy: Yeah, only took me five minutes!

Despite this cruel attack, Ziggy does at least help Jake carry the round.

Ziggy: So, you and Emma. Interesting.
Jake: What do you mean?
Ziggy: What do you think I mean?
Jake: She's a nice girl.
Ziggy: Yes, and...?
Jake: Yes.
Ziggy: You disappoint me.

Ziggy: Y'know I don't actually know that much about you.
Jake: Well, y'know, I'm studying music...
Ziggy: I'm just trying to make dumb jokes, and you block me with your serious answers.
Jake: What, you wanted this big talk about me and Emma.
Ziggy: Here you are trying to be 'meaningful' and make a 'connection'... Just go play naked tig.

Ziggy: At some point I'm gonna kick all yo' asses. Pick a number.
Andy: Seven.

Andy fights the jukebox, and eventually succeeds in persuading it to play some Bowie.

With Jake and Ziggy at loggerheads, Zig turns to Andy.

Ziggy: So, since he's not willing to tell me about his past, what about you? Tell me about his past.

Not actually knowing anything about Jake, Andy proceeds to talk about himself.

Andy: We have a mansion in Yorkshire.
Ziggy: A mansion?
Andy: It's a very small mansion. Really. You can call a small house in the country a mansion.
Emma: If you have land as well...
Andy: Er, what about you? All I really know about Jamaica is that you have an Olympic bobsleigh team.
Ziggy (deadpan): Why yes, Jamaica is exactly like you see in Cool Runnings.
Jake: I imagine you didn't try it. I'd hate to see how you deal with snow. I mean, you can't handle the weather like this.
Ziggy: In the pub? I can handle it.

Ziggy: So, why math?
Andy: I thought it'd be fun. My parents want me to lead the exciting life of an accountant in dad's firm.
Emma: So you're rebelling? You're going to be the wild man of maths?
Ziggy: Have some really radical statistical analysis named after you?

Meanwhile, a pair of hands emerge over the lip of the Clare College chapel roof, and a body hauls itself up. The head, silhouetted by the moon, turns to look from side to side, and then the climber carries on, and turns to shout behind him...
"C'mon, you wankers!" Behind him, two more undergraduates struggle up onto the roof.
"Why are we doing this again?"
"Because it's winter, and it'll be too dangerous to do it soon!"
"As opposed to just dangerous enough?"

Regardless, they run on, whooping, towards the chapel spire... until the first stops short.
"Oh, God..." he murmurs, and slumps backwards on the sloped roof as his legs give way, clambering up... and away from the body lying face down in the dip of the roof.

As our heroes head over to the Basement for The First Gig Of Winter, they hear sirens, go over, and see the fire service retrieving the body.

Her injuries suggest she was thrown up there. Two storeys. After she died of severe neck trauma. Puncture marks in the neck.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Emma: I'd kind of like to go home now.
Jake: I'll walk you.

The group split up, with Andy and Ziggy heading for King's school of history in hopes of finding William and Escher.

Jack, who also saw the girl being brought down, goes off to prod people about this, and notices Andy and Ziggy being followed. He goes over to warn them... And since they've been rumbled, the following guys reveal themselves to be vampires and charge.

And meanwhile, Jake and Emma spot they're being followed and start running too.

Jake: Have you got any spells that could help?
Emma: Just a book caster, and I don't have my book in my bag...
Jake: Well, I've got a pencil...
Emma: See anywhere we can run to?

Ziggy: Over there!

In one of those clever tension-increasing jump cuts, we move back to the other chase, as Ziggy points to the Trinity College chapel and he, Andy and Jack rush in.

Andy: They can't come in here, right?
Ziggy: Actually, no, they can.
Andy: Buh?
Ziggy: But they don't like to.
Andy: Buh?!
Ziggy: And there are crosses, and maybe holy water.

As Andy ponders how reassuring that isn't, Ziggy makes a call.

Ziggy: Mr. Escher? We need your help. Really. Now.
Escher: What is it?
Ziggy: We're trapped in the Trinity chapel by two vampires who are inside the safe area, that safe one we were told was safe, and they've probably killed somebody already and they're right outside.
Escher: ... We're on our way.

Escher puts his phone down, goes to the weapons locker, pulls out a crossbow and loads it. He nods to William, who starts to load a sports bag with supplies...

Noticing that they haven't been attacked as they rifle the pews for Bibles with crosses on the front and Jack scoops some holy water into the communion cup, Andy and Ziggy look back to the threshold. The vampires stand there, snarling but not entering.

Andy: They're not coming in. That's goo...

And then a pair of blazing white eyes open, seven feet up, in the darkened doorway as their owner, something huge and dark, steps over the threshold.

Andy: ...d.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Jake and Emma wheeze as they round a corner, their pursuers still gaining. As it happens, they're just along from the Trinity chapel too. Of course, they stop in mid-sprint as they spot the vampires lurking in the doorway... and the huge dark shape blocking it as it stalks in.

Ziggy, Andy, and Jack get a better view than they'd like of the seven-and-a-half-foot thing with slick purplish-black skin, glowing eyes, and jagged fangs and claws as it stomps towards them.

Jack: That'd be... a really... g-good... wingman...

Ziggy: Is... there... another exit?
Andy: How about we look?

Jack hits the demon with the communion cup full of holy water, then runs past screaming as it snarls at him while the water steams...

Ziggy: Oh good, you just made it angrier and bailed. Thanks, rugby guy...

Outside, Jake and Emma realise that they're about to be caught, and they can get a great view of the vampires guarding the chapel door... as they're illuminated by the headlights of an E-Type Jaguar swerving across the pavement and slamming into them!

Escher steps out of the driver's seat, readying a crossbow and making Watchers in general look that much cooler. William drags the bag of supplies out of the back seat, somewhat lessening the effect.

Inside, Jack runs for the side door and gets batted aside by a swipe of a massive clawed hand, slamming face-first into the wall and sliding down, unconscious. Andy hides behind the altar as Ziggy prepares for a last stand armed with an iron candelabrum...

Escher reloads and throws the crossbow to Jake, who catches it and fires. He misses the charging vampire's heart - as it grabs the other one to use its arm as a shield - but at least he slows it down and looks real manly doing it. Of course, he only had the one bolt, so they retreat as Escher and William advance.

Ziggy manages to prop the demon up and keep it just beyond arm's length... but the candle stand starts to buckle under its weight...

Andy curls up into a ball, sweating and shivering...

Escher, William, Jake and Emma falling back into the church full of monster, as Emma flings a bottle of holy water at one of the advancing vampires while William struggles to load a crossbow, about to be overwhelmed...

Ziggy is pinned as the demon swipes at the stand, trying to knock it aside.

Ziggy: I didn't know she was your daughter!
(DP time, oh yeah.)

Emma screams, and Andy's eyes are suddenly lit from within by an angry golden glow...

And then there's a monstrous howl as a different kind of seven-foot monster rises from behind the altar, Andy's body warping and growing as he charges, tearing out of his clothes.

To reveal... this (http://www.geocities.com/buffynightwatch/demon3.gif)!

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Vampire: What the FYAAARRR...

- as it's fatally distracted for a quick staking.

Andy charges, slamming the demon sideways away from Ziggy, gets clawed, claws back, and slams it into the pews, knocking three rows over, not all ten...

Jake: What is that thing?
Escher: I would have to get a clearer view of its eyes, but I'd say it's a Katokka Demon.
William: And the other thing?
Emma: You mean Andy?
William: I know what I mean.

Ziggy gets clear.

Ziggy: This is the part where we evacuate Tokyo!

The Katokka slashes the Andy-Thing across the chest twice as he grabs it and shoves it towards the font, charging after to slam its head into the water. It shrieks as the water scalds it, flails wildly and knocks him away, then lurches over and raises a claw for another strike...

William: Why aren't we shooting it?
Escher: You might hit Andrew.
William: And...?

Growling between laboured breaths, eyes narrowed by anger as well as pain, the Andy-Thing waits... and then strikes, tearing out the Katokka's throat with a savage bite.

The Katokka shatters, and the pieces of it flap like black leaves and dissolve as they hit the floor. Then Andy reverts to human form with a succession of shudders and spasms... and drops to the floor unconscious and bleeding.

He is duly helped, Ziggy giving him his jacket and Escher bringing out a blanket as Jake and Emma retrieve the semiconscious Jack, and everyone withdraws.

Ziggy, now out of danger, decides it's a good time to go into shock. Emma shivers and keeps Jake between her and the sleeping Andy. William glares straight ahead throughout the retreat.

Jake: So he's a... what?
Escher: A Manticore.
Jake: I thought those were just a Greek myth.
Escher: Unfortunately not.

William, riding shotgun, turns and glares at the invigilator, speaking in a low voice...

William: When were you going to tell us about this?

Escher glances at him, and drives on in silence.

And a little later, the middle-aged man sits behind a cherry wooden desk in a well-appointed office lined with books, looking through the file of photographs as there's a knock at the door.

Jenkins: Mr. Taylor?
Taylor: Come in, Jenkins. I take it you have news?
Jenkins: The secondary objective has failed with eighty percent casualties.
Taylor: Oh well, what about the primary?
Jenkins: No word as yet, but that's their group leader... One more thing, sir. We've established that Andrew Sampson definitely has inherited the Chetwynd-Talbot traits from his mother.
Taylor: Interesting... And that wasn't even the one they wanted.

He studies one of the photos for a moment, smirks, and then closes the file...

End Credits. Special thanks to RPGnet Tangency for research on some of Cambridge's freakier traditions. Grr! Arg!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Next time on The Watch House:
A coach drawn by four black horses emerging from the mist.
The Watch seated around a table, arguing. William points accusingly at Escher.
William: You should have bloody well told us!
A group of figures emerging from one of a caravan of four black coaches.
Andy sitting by himself, looking up at someone.
Andy: They hate me now, don't they?
The occupant of the head coach steps out, looks up at the lights of foggy Cambridge, and smiles as he places an undertaker's top hat on his head.
"This will do nicely," he says...
Escher V/O: The next episode of The Watch House is Wicked. Sunday at Six.

--

Actual Play bit:

I like the fact that, if split up, White Hats know to run away.

I don't like the fact that, if I'm down one player, my game is about half an hour shorter. :(

The shocking revelations would have been a tad more shocking if everyone at the table didn't know OOC...

[Joe Dizzy]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
Ziggy: Really, I'm just giving you jumping-off points for jokes, you know?

That bit was actually supposed to be OOC. What with the guy who plays "Andy" complaining about his allegedly lacking ability to come up with witty one-liners, I thought I might try to give him something to work with.

(And failing almost as gloriously as with my own attempts at creating "teh funnay".)

The shocking revelations would have been a tad more shocking if everyone at the table didn't know OOC...

Or if a certain player wouldn't constantly comment on everybody else's "secrets" and compare stats and life points with other players.

Joe

[colbabe]

Hooray! Andy is one of the family!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by Joe Dizzy
That bit was actually supposed to be OOC. What with the guy who plays "Andy" complaining about his allegedly lacking ability to come up with witty one-liners, I thought I might try to give him something to work with.

(And failing almost as gloriously as with my own attempts at creating "teh funnay".)
I figured... But it was funny in and of itself. There's probably a few more like that throughout.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by colbabe
Hooray! Andy is one of the family!
Shouldn't that be "Bummer! Andy's cursed too!" there? :D

[colbabe]

Nah. John hasn't had much contact with the family since Christmas, just Eddie and his father. A little familial loneliness has set in.

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by colbabe
Nah. John hasn't had much contact with the family since Christmas, just Eddie and his father. A little familial loneliness has set in.

Fine. I'll just go the club. Again. By MYSELF!

Hmmphh!

:)

*dancing the Night Watch away Eddie*

[Burgonet]

Originally posted by Joe Dizzy

Or if a certain player wouldn't constantly comment on everybody else's "secrets" and compare stats and life points with other players.

Joe

Bad Player! The soap of secrets is only fun if the players remember that they themselves are also audience.

This is an important rule of playing Buffy, in my humility-is-for-other-people's experience.

I teed up some things with Colin for The Night Watch but would try to keep the actual specifics of the secret/revelation exactly that. It's more fun that way.

:)

[morgue]

Originally posted by Joe Dizzy
That bit was actually supposed to be OOC...

That was one of the best lines in the thing!

Ziggy is teh coolest.

I'm having trouble keeping track of who is a PC and who is an NPC in a given session, and I find it important to understand what's happening... Craig, for future write-ups, do you want to kick off by saying who's playing that day?

Loving reading this game.

~`morgue

[Craig Oxbrow]

This week:

Andy (Jamie, present)
Ziggy (Joe, present)
Jake (Derek, present)
Jack (Chris, present)

Milli (Cat, absent :( )
William (full-time NPC now, now a teaching assistant and liable to graduate and be written out at the end of the first season)

Thanks.

[dunlaing]

Maybe William can be the Doyle of your series? Or the Jesse, if you want to be old school?

[Craig Oxbrow]

Having him leave is less permanent (and mean) than having him die.

And this is the thread my players read. Shhh! :D

(Not that it hadn't occurred to them - William was high on their list of likely assassination targets. Poor old William.)

And that said, he isn't entirely safe... he may be hospitalised by a cloud of sentient gas in an elaborate homage to Scary Go Round (http://www.scarygoround.com/?date=20020604)...

[Craig Oxbrow]

Watch House 1.5: Wicked

Escher, the Watchers in training, Jake, Emma and Jack seated around the reading table in Escher's office, arguing. Andy and Jack are still bashed up, now bandaged. William points accusingly at Escher.

William: You should have bloody well told us!
Escher: I know the dangers of his condition well enough, and that was all that was required!
William: He isn't human!
Escher: On the contrary, the Manticore is quite human when not affected by the change. Which, in this case, he can control.
William: Can he? And we should believe you?
Escher: And what would you have had me do? Inform you that this ally is not to be trusted? Or simply remain silent on this, as you did with me regarding Miss Radcliffe here? Hm? I told you to watch him. Watch him you did. And now you know why.
William: What other secrets are you keeping?
Escher: The secrets I keep are for the good of the society as a whole. When you are in my place, you will understand that. I, in turn, understand your frustration. But in this world, secrets must be guarded...

Milli knocks on the door, carrying her bags from her weekend away.

Milli: Did you miss... me... what happened?
Escher: We had another breach in the shield.
Milli: What happened?
Escher: Several vampires circumvented the warding.
Milli: How? Isn't it supposed to keep supernatural creatures out?
Ziggy: Allegedly.
Emma: And Andy's a monster.
Milli: What?
Andy: Look, I'm not a monster...
Jake: Not all the time...
Milli: I was only gone two days...
Escher: Quite. One wonders what is coming next...

Meanwhile... a coach drawn by four black horses emerges from the mist. The grinding of wheels suggests more following it, and sure enough, three more pull up, forming a ragged circle, on the grass of a large field. On the side, we can make out a gaudy sign on the otherwise dark carriages. "Doctor Blake's Grand Carnivale of Wonders and Delights". Figures emerge from the coaches, swathed in dark coats, hats, gloves and mufflers. Only one stands out, the occupant of the first carriage. A tall, whip-thin man wearing a long back coat over a matching three-piece suit. He smiles slyly as he places an undertaker's top hat on his head, opens a pocket watch and then snaps it shut and looks up.
And all around him, the carnival is already in place.

Doctor Blake: Yes. This will do nicely.

CREDITS!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Theme: Ash, Evil Eye

The full moon over Cambridge, behind the tower of King's College Chapel (http://www.kings.cam.ac.uk/chapel/gallery/).

The Watch House

Mekhi Phifer (http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0298203/Ss/0298203/K3582-26.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Phifer,%20Mekhi) as Ziggy Roots - looking around warily, wielding an unwieldy candleholder, flailing with a burning torch.

Sophia Myles (http://media.movieweb.com/gallery/633/uw_20.jpg) as Milli Blackhurst - fighting with a sword, throwing a stake, looking intense.

Mark Hamilton (http://www.amh-ash.freeserve.co.uk/pictures/markwave.jpg) as William Grove, seen slamming a book, looking forlorn, wielding a stake warily.

A vampire smacking into the Shield and being hit by a crossbow as he staggers back.

James McAvoy (http://www.jamesmcavoy.com/albums/album02/nd_3.sized.jpg) as "Jake" - elbowing a vampire in the face, clutching his head as a vision hits him, playing his guitar, standing with his shirt off for no good reason.

Hans Matheson (http://uhms.thathughsongirl.com/CIHeadshot.jpg) as Andy Sampson - looking confused, looking angry (http://uhms.thathughsongirl.com/ArtZhivago.jpg), looking glowy-eyed...

A half-glimpsed image of Andy's Manticore form, rearing up and howling at the moon.

Orlando Wells (http://www.tvtome.com/images/people/84/7/17-4500.jpg) as Jack Stevenson - shoulder-barging a door, giving Milli a boost, crashing into someone else and falling over

Laura Fraser (http://www.miranda-richardson.com/laurafraser/lflaurfr34.jpg ) as Emma Radcliffe - blasting the power thief, flicking desperately through a book, dancing, smirking.

Alfred Molina (http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hc&id=1800018903&cf=pg&photoid=470531&intl=us) as Michael Escher - looking around warily, taking off his glasses, loading a crossbow.

Vampires, demons, gravestones, skulls, sinister rituals, strange flashes of intense light, bodies being flung through the air, weird flappy dark things we haven't actually seen yet, the full moon again, and the show logo and the Watch loading up and striding purposely in slow-motion towards the camera...

Created by Oxbrow, Dizzy, Tobin, Windmill, Robertson, Prentice, Neil and Darlington

[Craig Oxbrow]

And we return to the Watch glowering at each other.

Milli: So...
Escher: So, a group of vampires entered the protected area, apparently targeting us.
Jake: They killed at least one person to feed.
Ziggy: Oh, yeah.
Emma: I think that's important.
Ziggy: Oh yes, important.

Milli looks askance at Jack.

Milli: Why is he here?
Emma: He got knocked out, we felt bad. I think.
Jack: I helped! At least I did something.
Ziggy: Yeah, made the demon mad and got unconscious.
Milli: There was a demon?
Escher: A Katokka. A physically manifested demon, a basic strongarm.
Andy: Which tried to kill Ziggy.
Ziggy: Just because I was in front of you.
Emma: And Andy killed by turning into a monster.
Andy: Look, will you...
Milli: I'm feeling a lot of aggression here.

More tense silence is finally broken by strategy talk.

Jake: We need to make sure there aren't any more in town.
Emma: *gulp*
Jake: So we step up patrols, look for places vampires hide.
Ziggy: We certainly need some strategy to make sure we don't get killed randomly.
Emma: So we only get killed specifically.

Jake: How about we all take turns as bait?
Ziggy: There's that word again.
Milli: Sure, um, where do we go wandering?
Ziggy: Stay in the shield, make sure it's clear.
Jake: that would make sense.
Ziggy: Right, let's not do that then.

Andy: It looks like they were after me or Ziggy
Jake: But two of them followed us.

He indicates himself and Emma, Milli arches an eyebrow.

Jake: I was walking her home after we saw the body.
Jack: Because she's no good in a fight at all.
Emma: Huh?
Jack: Anybody who can turn someone into a vegetable by patting him on the back... well, it'd be useful in the starting line.
Emma: I didn't do that to him, he did that to himself by misusing magic. I just reversed his spells, I didn't know about the feedback...

Milli: I think we're missing the main issue here... You were walking her home?
Jake: Uh, yeah, I...
Emma: Or that Andy's a monster! That's a big issue!
Andy: Let's not dwell...
Jake: That's hard to avoid.

Another uncomfortable pause.

Jake: I mean, it was pretty hairy.
Andy: Oh, good grief.
Ziggy: That was actually painful.
Jake: Um, yeah. Sorry.

Ziggy: Right, well, everybody should hit the books. So that's William and Milli.
Jack: And if there's a party we can all go to and be targets.
Jake: I don't think it's a good idea to run out there and shout "Hi, kill me!" until we know what's going on. We got lucky this time. Andy was a bit of a surprise to them...
Emma: Not just them.

Escher: So, yes, we need more information.
Milli: William, you're the expert, can you find something?
William, after long minutes of silent brooding: Oh, sure.
Milli: I can't believe that worked... Anyway, what do we know about this, er, Kalabala Demon?
Escher: You really have neglected your reading, haven't you?

Ziggy looks up from a book.

Ziggy: Hey, I just found that the two longest-serving porters in the college were both called Bob.
Jake: Oh, that's very helpful.
Ziggy: At least I'm looking. Belittle the man with ambitions...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

It carries on in this vein for over two weeks.

Ziggy: I spend all my days locked up in my room holding a cross and watching soaps. And I'm stating to like them.

Escher takes a few notes about Emma, gives her a form to fill in, and shrugs.

Emma: Somehow, I expected a lot worse.
Escher: Well, you do have to sign it in triplicate.

William uses research as an excuse to avoid Andy.

Andy: they hate me now, don't they?
Escher: Not all of them. But, I suppose, we have both lost their trust.

Jake drags Emma along when going out to see Andy, somewhat reluctantly. Milli comes along somewhat less reluctantly.

Milli: So, what do you eat?
Andy: Er, when?
Milli: Well, do you eat animals?
Andy: I'm not a vegetarian if that's what you mean. We eat, er, whatever.
Emma: That isn't exactly reassuring.

Pretty much the only thing the group does together at this point is patrol. This, rather pointedly, turns up nothing.

Ziggy: Usually there's something unusual. Nothing unusual? That's unusual.

Ziggy: We could try and check pubs and clubs.
Milli: So, your plan is to go to the pub every night.
Ziggy: It's dark and dingy, and people are out to meet people, and their inhibitions are lowered...
Jack: Even you could score.
Ziggy: I score more than your team does.
Jake: So what we should do is act like students.
Milli: Think you can manage that?
Jake: It's a stretch, alright, but I'll do what I can.

Milli: If we go clubbing most nights, that's going to cost a bit.

Andy points at Jack.

Andy: He can pay.
Jack: Er, why should I?
Andy: Saving your life and all.
Jake: Dragging your sorry ass out of danger.
Ziggy: After you made the demon mad.
Jack: I was helping...

The group discuss the practicalities of this plan.

Milli: How do we separate him from his cash... oh yeah. A fool and his money are soon parted.
(Drama Point and saucer of milk for Milli.)

Jack reads up on Slayers.

Jack: Uh... so, Milli isn't a Slayer then?
Milli: Uh, no.
Escher: Although she has trained alongside potential Slayers.
Emma: You have?
Escher: You didn't think she picked up all those combat skills in the circus, did you?

And meanwhile, flyers for Doctor Blake's Grand Carnivale of Wonders and Delights have begun to appear in the city, handed out by short men in heavy winter coats, hats, gloves and mufflers... with none of their bodies visible between their clothes except their shining eyes...

Jack: So, there's only one Slayer at a time? That isn't very fair. We could do with one. Can we make more?
Escher: One dies, another is called.
Jack: So, could we flatline her? And then revive her? Then we'd have two. Y'know, stop her heart...
Escher: And see how much she appreciates that.
Ziggy: No, no, it's valid... Jack, you go to California and ask the Slayer if you can try that...

Jake: Is it time to patrol yet? I really want to hit something.

That said, our heroes rise and head out, pausing to pick up the Cambridge Evening News...

"SECOND CHILD MISSING"

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Peter Lawson, 9, failed to return home from Cub Scouts last night, less than 24 hours after Dora Brant, a single mother, reported her daughter Rachel, 6, missing after going to play in the garden.

Milli: That's a bit... coincidental.
Jack: I think that's more of a police thing, surely.
Escher: Ah yes, protecting the world, not our job at all...

John Lawson works as a schoolteacher in the suburbs (outside the shield) and Mrs. Brant lives in the suburbs and works as a bedder (a housekeeper) at Girton College.

Once all of this has been gleaned, Escher makes a few calls, confirming that Mrs. Brant is at work. Although the rest of the staff are trying to make sure she takes it easy, she wants to keep busy.

Jake, meanwhile, keeps looking through the paper.

Jake: The lonely hearts, that's how they advertise.
Milli: How do you know?
Emma; Yeah, how do you know?
Jake: Uh, well, just a guess really.

The group discuss the possibilities of talking to Mrs. Brant. Ziggy looks at Milli.

Milli: Why do I have to be the one to talk to people?
Jack: Would you rather Ziggy did it?

William bravely volunteers, Jake and Emma going as backup... which is handy, as William utterly dries up.

Jake: We were sorry to hear.
Mrs. Brant: That's very kind of you.
Jake: I'm sure there are plenty of leads.
Mrs. Brant: So they tell me. But the first thing they checked didn't pan out at all. Didn't think it would though. She was excited about the circus coming to town but she wouldn't run away...

As they discuss their lack of knowledge of a circus coming to town on the way back, a flyer drifts on the wind and stops at their feet. Sure enough...

DOCTOR BLAKE'S GRAND CARNIVALE OF WONDERS AND DELIGHTS!
ACROBATS!
ANIMALS!
MAGIC!
MYSTERY!
DELIGHTS FOR YOUNG AND OLD!

And as he picks it up, Jake sees a flash of something dark scuttling across a ceiling and snarling at him...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

The news is duly shared.

Emma: This is a bit of a stretch, isn't it? A carnival?
Jake: I got a jolt from the flyer.
Andy: And, a circus? Hello? Clowns! Do you know how scary they are?

Milli, pondering the familiarity of the name, makes a call to the director of the circus school she attended in her year out.

Director: Ah yes. The name comes up every now and then, vanishes for years at a time. You know how civilians talk about circus people? That's how circus people talk about them...

Andy: You worked in a circus?... You weren't a clown, were you?
Milli: Acrobat. Why?
Andy: Er, nothing.
Emma: You're in no position to be scared of people's secrets.

Ziggy: Well, it's outside the shield. So, maybe... machineguns?
Jack: This is Britain, we can't carry machineguns here.
Ziggy: Let me explain to you the concept of 'irony'.

And so our heroes proceed to Doctor Blake's Grand Carnivale of Wonders and Delights. Emma decides not to come along.

Emma: Much as I'd like to come to a circus that might be full of monsters...

It's already overcast, and a little misty, as the Watch reach the Carnivale. The barker cackles as he waves them in.

Jake: Well, that was a nice laugh.
Milli: He wasn't laughing, he was cackling. That means he has an evil plan.
Ziggy: No, a real evil laugh is more like... bwahahahahahaaa!
Jack: Eep.

Ziggy: Hey, food! And... some kind of pink stuff that looks like packing foam.
Jake: That's candy floss.
Ziggy: Is it any good?
Jake: You don't need to sleep nights, do you?

Jake: So, we have acrobats and animals, magic and mystery...
Jack: Well, we have an acrobat and an animal.
Andy: Look, will you...
Jack: I'm just saying if we take this guy down, we could keep his stuff and start our own show. And Emma can do magic...
Jake: The kind of magic you find in a circus is, like, rabbits outta hats and stuff.
Jack: What kind of witch can't pull a rabbit out of a hat?
Jake: The real kind?

Jack: Should we split up?
Milli: Oh yes, let's do.
Ziggy: Yeah, you go that way, we'll go this way.

And yet, they split up anyway, to look around the creepy carnivale...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

The coconut shy would appear to be rigged, as is the way of such things.

Ziggy: Oh, bloody hell... Hey, I said bloody hell! I'm almost British!

Most of the group head for the Ghost Train, as one does in such situations. But Ziggy goes for...

Ziggy: The hall of mirrors. Anyone wanna come along and look at me from lots of angles?
Jake: Not high on my list.

Heading in by himself, he soon gets rather lost... and sees a fleeting glimpse of a dark figure in the mirror behind him... or one of them...

Meanwhile, the rest of the group are unimpressed by the ghost train's dusty skeletons and headless mannequins... until halfway around William recognises one figure, distinctly out of place. A gleaming greenish-black carapace, face full of mandibles, and six giant spidery legs ending in hooks.

William: That's a... Goliul Demon.
Milli: A real one?
Jake: I hope not.

The gang pile out of their car... noticing that the two hooded figures in the car in front have now vanished... as William checks his mobile phone reception inside the ride by calling in the expert.

William: Hello, Mr. Escher? What can you tell me about Goliul Demons?
Escher: What? Where are you?
William: We're in the ghost train.

Ziggy turns a corner, catches sight of the exit... and slams into a clear panel in between. Over his curses, he just makes out a snorting sound from somewhere inside the maze...

The group examine the model Goliul, determining that it is just a model rather than a stuffed or, indeed, live one... but clearly the work of someone who's seen the real thing.

Escher: The Goliul is a summoned assassin and thief. Very fast and stealthy. Occasionally used as a kidnapper... no, childnapper.
William: Any weaknesses?
Escher: I'll have to look that up and call you back.

He explains that, and the group discuss what to do and what this means.

Milli: And this is the only one?
William: Yes...
Milli: That's really...
Jack: Andy, what do... Andy?

Yes, they've lost their Manticore.

And Andy comes out of the ride, looks behind him, and finds them all gone...

As he manages to restrain his animalistic whimpering, he sees Ziggy stumble backwards out of the Hall of Mirrors, clutching his cross and stake...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

As Ziggy and Andy pace around warily, flinching at the hints of movement from the corners of their eyes, they jump as Ziggy's mobile rings.

Milli: Where are you?
Ziggy: Where are we?

The side exit of the ghost train opens and the others stumble out.

Milli: Okay, we found a really good model of a, er, Gurana Demon in there.

Their guard even more up, they make the rounds of the other displays. They determine that the animal act is some dancing dogs and that the acrobats are dreadful. The Fortune Teller, on the other hand...

It helps her act a great deal that she's blindfolded, but turns to address each of them in turn as she lays out a tarot hand. And that Jake backs away as he touches the tarot pack.

To Milli: You will not find them here. But you will find them soon.
To Jake: You are right to doubt.
To William... she says nothing, but hands his coin back.
To Andy: What you fear will come to pass, unless you conquer that fear itself.
To Ziggy: You will find what you seek.
Ziggy: Lots of chicks?
To Ziggy: Not what I meant...

Milli: So, that was vague.
Jake: Yeah, well, she was for real. Trust me there.

William looks back in. The Fortune Teller's head swivels to apparently meet his gaze through the blindfold.

William: So, why didn't you tell my fortune?
Fortune Teller: Oh, nothing you need worry about.

As William tries not to look worried, everyone compares notes.

Milli: Okay, everything's crap or scary.
Jack: We haven't tried the hoopla yet.
Jake: It'll probably have babies' heads as prizes. So, we do the sneaky searchy thing tonight?
Andy: Or we could follow all those circus people sneaking off into town... Following that, er, dog-like thing...

And thus they gather the troops, retrieving Ziggy from the hoopla.

Ziggy: I was just about to win!

He hoops a skittle, and the hoop seems to fall through the skittle.

Ziggy: I'm not staying here.
Jake: Good idea.
Ziggy: ... because they're cheating.
Jake: Less good idea, to say that out loud.

Jake: Come on. I'm the bait this time. You get to save my ass.
Ziggy: Cool. But if nothing attacks you, this time doesn't count. So I still have the bait card.

As they discuss this, they turn the corner, and run into the whip-thin, top-hatted figure of Doctor Blake (played by Voltaire (http://www.voltaire.net/music/graphics/Voltaire2.jpg)).

Doctor Blake: Watchers. Always Watchers.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Doctor Blake: Watchers. You always think you're the only ones qualified for the task at hand.
Milli: Uh, what?
Andy: Watchers?
Ziggy: Er, no sprechen ze Englisch. Non!

Doctor Blake leans on his silver-tipped cane and smiles thinly.

Doctor Blake: Please, credit me some intelligence. Doubtless you're looking for the Goliul and the children?
Milli: Er... yeah.
Jake: So, what, you too?
Doctor Blake: We are hunters, dear boy.

Jake nods warily at the lank-haired quadrupedal thing in a full-head muzzle, its long chain being held by one of the shortish wrapped-up circus staff.

Jake: So that's a sniffer dog?
Doctor Blake: Essentially.
Jack: Is it called Fluffy?
Doctor Blake:... Yes.
Ziggy: It doesn't eat people, does it?
Doctor Blake: Of course not. It's muzzled.

Milli: So, uh, how did you get into this business?
Doctor Blake: A matter of honour, young lady. I am bound to hunt and destroy the Goliul, and foil the plans of its masters.
Milli: Do you know who its masters are?
Doctor Blake: Sadly, I was never able to find a definite answer in the past hundred and twenty years.
Ziggy: Bound like...?
Doctor Blake: Yes. Like that. Anyway, the hound has the scent.

As the hellhound-looking thing charges off, our heroes follow rather warily. Ziggy isn't scared, he's just keeping his cross and stake to hand. All the time.

Ziggy: Am I the only one who's slightly unnerved by his appearance and his sinister mute servants and his big evil dog?
Jake: Well, if someone says they're good, obviously they are...

And he tightens his grip on his own stake.

The scary dog thing stops outside a large house at the end of a seemingly abandoned street, shrouded in mist. Doctor Blake's servants charge the door as the good Doctor unsheathes his swordcane. One of them bursts through the door, stumbles inside... and is grabbed by huge spidery legs and dragged up out of sight.

Ziggy lights a burning torch as they all charge inside, illuminating a shell of a building with a huge, stringy, translucent web covering the roof fifteen feet above. With two bundles hanging down... which prove to be Peter and Rachel as they start screaming.

Something greenish and scuttly races over above their heads, dropping an empty pile of black winter clothes, and turns to shriek at them, mandible flailing and multiple eyes gleaming in the torchlight...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Milli: Did Escher call back?
William: Huh? Oh...

And he discovers that he turned his phone off. Checking his voicemail, he informs the group that the Goliul's main weakness is the join in its carapace between its abdomen and thorax.

Doctor Blake, needing no such outsider information, grabs one of his two remaining servants and flings it at the Goliul. It parries with two of its bladelike arms, knocking the servitor away with a thud into the wall, a pile of clothes tumbling to the floor.

Milli turns to Jack as the group flail at the air above with stakes and torch and Zippo.

Milli: Gimme a boost!
Jack: Huh?
Milli: I'm going to get the kids.

And so Jack gives Milli a boost up and she flies ten feet into the air, grabbing and sticking to the webbing cocooning Rachel. She starts cutting the ropelike strand holding her up.

The Goliul skitters towards her, and the group rally around to prod at it with their too-short weapons and nearly set Milli's feet on fire with their burning brands.

Doctor Blake proves slightly more helpful as he somersaults into the air and duels with the demon, his sword sparking off its armour blades.

The strand melts in the heat and gives way unexpectedly, and Milli rolls to cushion Rachel with her back, as Jake misses a heroic catch and lands beside her. Handing Rachel over to William, she straightens her back, stifles a shriek of pain, and staggers over to help Peter.

The Goliul smacks Doctor Blake out of the air with all three of its left legs as Milli jumps to reach Peter's legs and pull him down from the weakening web with her weight. This naturally leaves her dangling in mid-air as the Goliul charges towards them, so she flips and swings, the web tears, Andy manages the catch this time, and they hustle Peter outside double-time.

This done, Ziggy lights a dangling strand on fire and they all run for the door.

Unfortunately, the Goliul ricochets off the upper walls as its web catches fire and lands between them and the door.

Fortunately, Doctor Blake steps up to impale it.

Unfortunately, it parries his killing blow - losing one and a half arms in the process, but still. The sword goes flying. Doctor Blake is now trapped under the shrieking demon, mandibles clacking an inch from his unfrightened-but-still-perturbed face.

Doctor Blake: Little help here?

Jake slides across the floor, catches it, and rams it into the Goliul's side.

It curls up like a dead spider, oozing yellowish-white ichor. Doctor Blake kicks it into the flames, gratefully takes his sword back, and tears the softening cocoons off the children.

Doctor Blake: Well. See them safely home, eh? In time, they will think of this as just a nightmare. Which, in some ways, I suppose it was. But now, the Goliul is defeated, and I can rest, for a time.

That said, he disperses like a swirl of black and grey cloud.

Ziggy: We've got to stop meeting people who dissolve...

And on the edge of the city, answering some unseen, unheard signal, four black coaches start up, drive off into the mist... and vanish.

CREDITS
Grr! Arg!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Next time on The Watch House:

Jake: I have two weeks to find a band!
Emma: Well, don't look at me...

Rosalind making several phone calls.

Rosalind: Yes, hello, you do? Excellent. We'll see you there, won't we? Wonderful, ciao!

Sophie cornering Ziggy.

Sophie: Have you asked anyone to the Winter Mingle yet?
Ziggy: Er...

Ginny and Nicole discussing something in great depth.

Ginny: You have to come with me to the beautician. You know I can't do the Mingle without a facial, manicure and pedicure. It's practically winter! My toenails will be so disgusting if I don't do this...

Nicole: Oh yes. And we need to get HER to go, too...

And she subtly nods towards Charlotte as she passes.

Nicole: Yes, well...

And William near enough to hear that.

Rosalind on the phone again.

Rosalind: Is it ready? Wonderful, thank you dear.

Amanda: Oh God, the ball's only in ten days, and all I have in my closet is that awful peach taffeta thing I wore as a bridesmaid for my brother's wedding! Mad shopping help!

Jake looking quizzically, and a little warily, at various bustling cliques of girls as Amanda runs past. Emma trying to sound reassuring.

Emma: See, apart from Milli the guys, are, well, all male. So a ball is wearing a tux, drinking cheap wine and dancing badly to Footloose. To us it's... a little more involved than that.

Milli fiddling with her hair, glowering at her reflection.

Nicole:... and he says, get this, 'What's wrong with my double-breasted blue suit?' I mean .. oh God. Have you seen that mothballed nightmare? There is NO way I am going to try to match with that. No no. He's going to the tux rental shop pronto, or I'm going to drop him for David. I don't care if he's gay.

The Sneaker Pimps playing live. Quick images of people dancing. Possibly some of the cast? Too fast to tell.

And a flicker, just for a moment, of Jake rehearsing with a female singer... and the entire band stopping to gaze open-mouthed at her as she sings.

Escher V/O: The next episode of The Watch House is Winter Song. Sunday at Six.

--

Actual Play bit

William was played by a new player (and new to gaming, not just the game) so I spent a while (but probably not long enough) explaining the rules and the game to him while, notice the huge section of round-table dialogue, the players just talked for about half an hour. The uncomfortable silences were partially in-character. Then I moved time on as everyone ran out of steam.

This also meant that William's righteous indignation was NPCish. It isn't really fair dropping a new player into an established character, so we'll see what to do about that next time.

My pacing's still all floopy. We ran a bit over instead of a bit under, partially due to the full complement:

(Joe as Ziggy, Derek as Jake, Cat as Milli, a different David as William, Jamie as Andy, and Chris as Jack actually talking to the others in-character)

... and introducing a new player, but also partially due to my general uselessness pacing-wise.

Emma being scared to come fits character-wise, but meant I had no one-liner character until Doctor Blake came along. And, damn, I need a one-liner character. :D

Pretty simple episode: It applies the logic of The Puppet Show from Buffy season one to Something Wicked This Way Comes instead of Dead Of Night. I could have kept going with The World's Creepiest Funfair for a lot longer if I'd had a bit more prepped, but I think I got a bit of the surrealism and creepiness I wanted.

I'm angsty about my ideas and my pacing, but I'm having a roaring great time.

There was much post-game talk of subplots and more important NPCs, hence the really long trailer above. And it's the much promised Whimsical Christmas Adventure... and the end-of-term cliffhanger too...

[colbabe]

Blimey, how many players is that now? I am in awe of your ability to tell a good story with an abundance of players.

[SteveD]

I agree, it's all a bit of a blur sometimes. :)

Also, we don't need all the dialogue in the write-ups.

That said, nice twist and the Doctor is a wonderful character. Bravo!

[colbabe]

Originally posted by SteveD
Also, we don't need all the dialogue in the write-ups.

I'm getting the idea that this is just the highlights... Craig? Care to clarify?

[morgue]

Yay creepy carnivals! They are the coolest.
(Let me plug my own Buffy game ep based on creepy carnivals, but ending up way odder than that. It'shere (http://www.apocalypse.gen.nz/slayerseast/html/ep6synopsis.htm). There, maniacal ego satisfied.)

Hey, Craig, you should write up Doctor Blake and make him available to all the other Buffy GMs out there... he's a perfect crossover character, isn't he?

Originally posted by SteveD
Also, we don't need all the dialogue in the write-ups.

Put me down as a vote *for* the dialogue. Just so you know there's no consensus on this issue :-)

~`morgue

[SteveD]

That sounded really bitchy, sorry, I was in a hurry. It was just a lot of that dialogue didn't seem critical to me, and I thought it might make Craig's job easier if he cut it down more.

See, I read very, very slowly, so it's a lot of work....

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by SteveD
That sounded really bitchy, sorry, I was in a hurry. It was just a lot of that dialogue didn't seem critical to me, and I thought it might make Craig's job easier if he cut it down more.

See, I read very, very slowly, so it's a lot of work....
This is the highlights as noted down, but this week was the most highlights noted evar. I could probably trim it down more, the non-funny exposition and such.

I could write Doctor Blake up... but then I'd kinda have to figure out what he actually is...

Thank you, thank you, players take a bow.

[Coffee_Lifeform]

*bows*

*then wonders how all the guys seem to have dates sorted for the Mingle when she doesn't*

*then realises it doesn't matter cos she's not going anyway, so there*

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by Coffee_Lifeform
*bows*

*then wonders how all the guys seem to have dates sorted for the Mingle when she doesn't*

*then realises it doesn't matter cos she's not going anyway, so there*
Oh, you think so... (Darn, there's no Evil Grin smiley here.)

So far Jake has a date, of sorts as he's supposedly working. Ziggy will be cornered. As for everyone else, I dunno. Wolf Boy doesn't seem to be gettin' much play...

First post... joinnnnn ussss... (And no zombie smiley either...)

[Craig Oxbrow]

Watch House 1.6 - Winter Song

November becomes December and the country is blanketed in... Christmas decorations.

And in among them all, preparations for the Winter Mingle continue apace. In one of the college's larger halls, Emma watches Rosalind pace with her mobile phone while Jake adjusts his strings between auditions.

Rosalind: Yes, hello... you do? Excellent. We'll see you there, won't we?... Wonderful, ciao!

She turns to our heroes.

Rosalind: Sorry, can't stay and chat, some sort of immense catering emergency that Genevieve can't handle on her own, poor thing...

Jake: I need to find a band in two weeks!
Emma: Don't look at me...
Jake: We've got a bassist. If need be, I can sing. But I can't look intense and play the guitar and sing at the same time.

Rosalind's on the phone again before she reaches the hall door.

Rosalind: Is it ready?... Wonderful, thank you dear...

Meanwhile, out in the court, Sophie corners Ziggy.

Sophie: Have you asked anyone to the Mingle yet?
Ziggy: Er, no.
Sophie: Because I was hoping you could ask Ginny.
Ziggy: Ah, um...
Sophie: She likes you, for some reason which currently eludes me. She finds you charming in some strange Ginny-like way. She's quite mad, obviously, but she's my friend so I thought I should ask.
Ziggy: Um... okay?

And she beams. Ziggy departs, having apparently agreed to a "will you ask her out me?" arrangement.

Ziggy: I feel so mature suddenly...

Andy makes a list of several girls to ask, to no avail.

Jake: So this is the shotgun approach?
Andy: Well, if I ask every girl in the college eventually somebody will say yes. If only out of pity.
Emma: Maybe it's because they think you're gay.
Andy: Uh...?
Emma: The whole moody outsider with a secret thing. I mean it's not like you can tell them what it actually is.
Andy: Um. Maybe I'll go by myself. It's a "Mingle", after all, some people will.
Jack: Except nobody ever actually does.

Next day Jake despairs of how much people can suck musically. Which, as it turns out, is a great deal.

However, the flyers for the as-yet unnamed band spread throughout the university, and one is picked up by a petite, dark-haired girl. She reads it, notes that the band will hopefully be playing to a big crowd at the Winter Mingle, and smirks... eyes glowing an eerie pale blue...

CREDITS!

[Craig Oxbrow]

(Recasting news: Shawn Wayans (http://www-personal.umich.edu/~patanash/thewayans/wayans_shawn01.gif) as Ziggy. Ideally with dreads of more length than this.)

Milli, meanwhile, ducks out of hanging around the auditions and goes to see Escher.

Milli: I think my combat skills need sharpening up. Any chance we can practice more in the evenings until... the end of term?
Escher: Yes... but... you're the best fighter in the class...
Milli: I fell on my ass fighting that spidery thing last month.
Escher: Yes, but -
Milli: So, how about every evening. Seven till eleven? Or I could come earlier, I get out of my last class at half-five.
Escher: Are you trying to avoid something?
Milli: Um, no. I really feel, um, inadequate. In combat capacity.

Despite her best attempts, Henry from Early Modern Philosophy (played by Conor Oberst (http://www.britishpunk.com/images/Conor/conorbpsite.jpg) of Bright Eyes) approaches her over lunch... Well, he approaches, pauses... sees that she noticed and takes a step closer.

Henry: Ah, um, erm, I was wondering if perhaps you might have decided to attend the, er, Mingle.

Milli demonstrates The Look, that keep-your-distance stare known to destroy boys at a distance of fifty feet. (And I make sure that The Look is in-character, as I start involuntarily backing away from Milli's player.)

Milli: I'm not going.
Henry: Where, you know, people mingle. Even if they don't have, er, dates. As such. Or if they do.
Milli: I'm not going.
Henry: Right. Me neither. Well, I won't see you there then, won't I?... Will I. Yes. Will.

And he retreats, looking nonplussed. Perhaps to slam his head against the wall a few times.

The rugby team are out in spite of the distinctly seasonal weather. Coach Harrison looks even redder in the face against the pale grey sky.
And then Barry throws the ball full-force at Jack's head. Catching it and throwing it back, he asks:

Jack: What was that for?
Francis: You know.
Jack: Uh, no, I don't.
Tim: Where were you last night?
Jack: Uh, nowhere important.
Barry: And Tuesday?
Jack: At the pub, and nowhere important...
Francis: You're still chasing that library troll with the mad hair, aren't you? Hanging out with that bunch of geeks...
Jack: Uh... no? She's not a troll anyway. More like an ogre maybe.

Francis snorts derisively.

Francis: Wanker...

Jack charges Francis and tries to get him in a headlock. Barry and Tim grab his arms and wrestle him off. The Coach's shouting hits a pitch that makes people check their car alarms.

Coach Harrison: GetToTheBloodyShowersNOW!

Meanwhile...

Amanda: Oh God, the ball's only in ten days, and all I have in my closet is that awful peach taffeta thing I wore as a bridesmaid for my brother's wedding! Mad shopping help!

Jake looks quizzically, and a little warily, at various bustling cliques of girls as Amanda grabs Fionula and runs past. Emma tries to sound reassuring.

Jake: I don't get it.
Emma: See, apart from Milli the guys are, well, all male. So a ball is wearing a tux, drinking cheap wine and dancing badly to Footloose. To us it's... a little more involved than that.
Ziggy: More involved?
Emma: Mm. Anyway, one more audition today. Sara... just Sara apparently. Should fit right in.
Jake: Yeah, yeah.

The petite girl from the precredits smiles a little shyly as she approaches the microphone, pushes her dark hair away from her face, taps the mic and softly says "key of B". Then as Jake plays she starts to sing.

Sara's voice is captivating, beautiful. Jake only remembers to play when she points at his guitar.

Jake: You're in.
Ziggy: It took you like a minute to remember to play.

She smiles slightly. Emma raises an eyebrow at the reaction and goes back to her clipboard, while Sara's smile widens...

Andy: So, have you decided what your band's called?
Jake: Ah, no.
Andy: Death Monkeys!
Jake: Ah... no.

Milli: That was great, wasn't it?
Emma: I suppose.
Milli: Hey, can you imagine Jake and Sara together?
Emma: ...
Milli: His guitar, her singing...
Emma: ...

Emma glowers and ticks Sara's name on the clipboard rather forcefully.
And CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Ziggy goes to pick on Jack at rugby practice, where he's already looking a tad isolated. He notices the rest of the starting line looming a bit closer as Ziggy ambles up.

Ziggy: So, have you asked anyone out yet?
Jack: Please don't stand here. And no.
Ziggy: No, I'm NOT going out with you!

Ziggy storms off melodramatically as Jack tries to restart his cognitive functions, then throws the ball at him as the rest of the team roar with laughter.

Milli and Escher fencing and cramming.

Escher: You should probably concentrate on your studies. I mean, a Guarana Demon?
Milli: I'm just no good with names.
Escher: It's basic Mesopotamian. You should know this.

Milli somewhat grumpily jabs him in the ribs.

Escher: Ooomf!... Well... ouch... perhaps some further reading since you want to occupy your time. Since I need to sit down. For an hour. And a half.

As he stumbles off to gather some field guides, Ziggy comes in to find Milli kickboxing a punchbag.

Ziggy: I'm sensing tension.
Milli: Who, me? (As she kicks the target's "face" brutally)
Ziggy: Yeah, um... what? Nobody asked you out?
Milli: (kick kick ignore kick)
Ziggy: Uh, did someone say you were fat?

She turns and, off her look, he runs for his life.

William, heading to the office, jumps back as Ziggy tears around the corner.

Ziggy: Tell her I went that way!

As he runs the other way. Milli duly runs after, pauses by William and asks which way he went. William points her the wrong way, so she goes the right one.

Carrying on, William passes Ginny (Naomie Harris (http://www.livinginhope.com/stills/lih_cast_06.jpg)) and Nicole (Mischa Barton (http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Events/2188/MischaBart_Vespa_1891770_400.jpg)) discussing something in great depth.

Ginny: You have to come with me to the beautician. You know I can't do the Mingle without a facial, manicure and pedicure. It's practically winter! My toenails will be so disgusting if I don't do this...

Nicole: Oh yes. And we need to get her to go, too...

And she subtly nods towards Charlotte as she passes.

Ginny: Yes, well...

Nicole: I mean... really. We do. The poor dear needs a serious assist...

William heads over to Charlotte.

(Charlotte (Kelly Harrison (http://www.holby.tv/images/Web/wpe408.jpg)) seen in passing in previous episodes, is the only History student who routinely rates a better score than William, because she doesn't have to stop herself talking about demons like he does when he gets too deep into a subject.)

William: Hi, um, has anyone asked you to the Mingle?
Charlotte: Oh, ye-well, no.
William: Would you like to...
Charlotte: Um, if I, um... sure.

Ziggy hides out at rehearsals. Jake flicks through a list of possible cover versions, scratches one out.

Jake: We're really coming together. (off Emma's look) As a band.
Emma: I'm... very pleased.

Sara warms up next door, and even her vocal exercises are a lilting wordless song...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

The Brody, our home from home.

Ziggy sidles in, glances around, and sneaks over to Jake at the usual booth.

Ziggy: Is Milli here?

Cut to Milli kicking the punchbag hard enough that it swings crooked. Muttering, she goes to get her jacket. Those at the pub discuss the forthcoming event. Jake prattles on about music, and something occurs to Ziggy.

Jake: We got a singer now, she's so cool.
Ziggy: Have you even remembered to ask Emma out?
Jake: Huh? I just figured...

As Emma gets back, Ziggy opens his mouth and Jake kicks him under the table.

Jake: So, you are coming with me to the Mingle, right?
Emma: I was hoping you'd ask.
Jake: Sorry... So, will you?
Emma: I could...

Milli enters, glances at the group, and promptly heads for the bar. Tessa, the barmaid, raises an eyebrow.

Milli: A triple tequila and two pints.
Tessa: Is that for the table?
Milli: Uh... sure.

She doesn't help her ruse by downing the tequila. Then William enters, smiling. Everyone is suspicious.

Ziggy: William! You're out!
Milli: And you're smiling.
Ziggy: Are you possessed?
William: No, I'm just happy.
Ziggy: Whyyyyy?
William: Got a girl to go to the Mingle.
Andy: Huh?
Jack: You - ?
Emma: Well done, who?
William: Charlotte.
Andy: Buh...
Milli: I think it's brilliant.
William: Thanks. What about you?
Milli: Oh. I'm not going.
William: Why not?
Milli: I need to practice. I mean, did you not see me fall off that ropy web thing?
Ziggy: Yeah, and you didn't catch me today.
Jake: Well, you do run pretty fast with all the bait practice - OW!

As Ziggy kicks Jake under the table, Milli fiddles with her hair, glowering at her reflection, and finishes off a pint.

Jake: So, you haven't asked anyone out yet?
Ziggy: Uh, well. Sophie asked me to ask Ginny, but how high school is that...
Jake: I want to see that. It's probably an evil plot and Ginny hates you.
Emma: You're not selling him on the idea.
Ziggy: I'll do it. If you ask Sophie for me.
Milli: Oh, good call. (hic)

Seeing the rugby guys arrive, Jack stomps off to try and pick up girls like a proper grownup.

William: I'll come with you, give you some pointers.

As William smirks and Jack tries not to whimper, Ziggy resolutely sits looking at Ginny and not approaching.

Milli: Ziggy's scared of girls...
Ziggy: Yes, I am...
Milli: It'sh hokay. We'll arshk her for youse. Girlz know. Girlz... Yes! Is it Sophie? I go arsk Sophie...

Milli totters to her feet, and sways outside. Ziggy follows.

Ziggy: Uh, how much have you had?
Milli: That much. Oh, and that much. And that. Was a triple. And some of that green shtuff Jack had. 'm not drunky.
Ziggy: Okay. Why are you drunk... on Wednesday?
Milli: I wanted... drink a bit. Today... don' like you.
Ziggy: I know you don't but that doesn't answer my question.

She bursts into tears. Ziggy attempts to respond.

Ziggy: No crying. Uh. Please. Crying bad. Upset me. It's scary and... unpredictable. Uh... I've been watching all the Bond movies on tape and now I can do a really good Sean Connery impression. (Really bad Sean Connery impression:) Come on now Mish Moneypenny... (gives that up) No? Okay, I can make you laugh... do you want to go to the dance with me?

She blinks, gazes at him, and he grins... then she starts crying even louder.

Scratching his head and furrowing his brow, he tries patting her on the shoulder. She slaps him, less precisely than usual but still painfully enough, and stumbles off.

Ziggy: Okay, I'm never going to help you when you're drunk again.

She slumps her shoulders, turns, mumbles "'m sorry" and carries on. Ziggy goes back in, shrugging dejectedly. Emma, seeing this, heads out to catch up with her.

Andy: I was gonna get drunk but now I don't want to...
Jake: I'm not getting drunk either. I should catch them up, and I have practice tomorrow anyway.
Ziggy: That's pathetic, what kind of a musician are you?
Jake: Well, if you put it like that, it's your round.

And so Ziggy goes to the bar.

Jake: He'll just get me a water anyway. Freak. I don't know what Jack sees in him...
(Drama Point and good thing nobody was drinking at the time.)

Outside, Milli vaguely shoos Emma away.

Emma: C'mon, I'll get you home. Taxi!
Milli: No, go back in, 'm fine. Just walk it. I know the way.
Emma: It's over there.
Milli: So it is. I was just testing you. Well done. You go.
Emma: C'mon. Get in.

Milli sniffles and takes a proffered tissue as she gets into the cab. Emma looks concerned, and more than a little baffled...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Next day, Milli sips water and rubs her forehead as the group assemble at Escher's request.

Ziggy: HI, MILLI! HOW'S YOUR HANGOVER?
Milli: I was going to do a whole apology thing, but now, you can piss off.
Ziggy: Oh. Okay...

Escher informs the group that one Martin Halsall of Caius and Gonville College has fallen into a coma for no apparent reason. Not liking that sort of thing, our heroes go and investigate. They quickly confirm that Martin had a date with an "S" that night, and that other than that his life revolved around his classes, the Latin Society and the choir. The flyer for Jake's still unnamed band sticks out in his pristine room.

Emma: So we're looking for something that hunts stay-at-home types who study a lot and don't date much?

Everyone looks at William...

William: What?

Checking with various other members of the C&G choir baritones, they confirm that S is...

Baritone: Something like Sharon.
Emma: Not Sara?
Baritone: No, more like Sharon.

Jake: Anyway, I got practice.
Ziggy: Ooh, I got practice. I got Sara. Oh, Emma, Sara, Emma, Sara...

They split and head off to practice or research, while Milli sits in the corner rubbing her forehead.

Ziggy: Feeling any better?
Milli: Not really.
Ziggy: Aspirin?
Milli: Already.
Ziggy: Start crying again. Maybe that'll help - OW. Well, if that's how grateful you are I'm going back to my Bond movies. It's Timothy Dalton Day!
Milli: You have no life.

The group look through the list of Sharons at G&C, then all the colleges of the University, and confirm that it isn't any of them. Meanwhile at the pub, rugby git Tim's supposed date for the Mingle Julianne looms over him sitting in a booth with... Sara.

Julianne: You know, when you ask a girl out to a dance, she doesn't generally appreciate you snuggling up with another girl the day before.

Sara stands up and whispers inaudibly to her... and she runs out, distraught. Jack comes in as she goes, and asks what's going on. She claps her hands over her ears.

Julianne: No... just... don't TALK!

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Jack demonstrates the fine art of shrugging off a clue and doesn't pass any of that along. Instead, he goes to try and chat up Rosalind, who stays on the phone throughout.

Rosalind:... and he says, I swear, 'What's wrong with my double-breasted blue suit?' I mean .. oh God. Have you seen that mothballed nightmare? There is no way I am going to try to match with that. No no. He's going to the tux rental shop tomorrow, or I'm going to drop him for Jack. I don't care if he's gay.

Jake and Ziggy meanwhile continue to discuss Ziggy's dance plans. Ziggy asks Sophie and he'll ask Ginny for him. Milli tags along.

Ginny: He can't ask himself?
Jake: He's shy.
Ginny: Shy? That's really not the vibe I get from him.
Milli: Oh, uh, it's all an act. He's really -
Jake: Small and pathetic.
Milli: No... he's sensitive.

Cut to Ziggy looking sensitive, or at least crestfallen, as Sophie smirks.

Sophie: Of course I'm already going with someone. And even if I wasn't I'd say I was...

Ginny agrees, rather suspiciously, and they withdraw to plot.

Jake: So we need to meet up, make sure he gets there and dances with her.
Milli: I'm not going.
Jake: You're going to miss my gig?
Milli: Just... wearing a dress and heels and dancing and stuff... not my thing...

Meanwhile, Andy confirms that he isn't going either, because he was too nervous to actually ask anyone. After some light cajoling by Ziggy, he approaches Nicole.

Nicole: It's tomorrow. Could you have waited a bit longer maybe?
Andy: Er, yes, well...
Nicole: I mean, I'm going with Geoffrey, but it isn't a super date date. We could dance, sure. But I thought you... Or is that Jack?
Andy: I'm not, anyway.
Nicole: Oooh...

Jake gives up trying to get any more out of Milli.

Jake: You've been on a complete downer for weeks... Look, if you want to talk, you know where I am, okay?

Milli nods slightly and wanders off to go and catch up on her reading.

And so she sits out the Mingle as the rest of the group arrive.

Rosalind (http://www.tccandler.com/rosamund_pike_silver_HQHQ2.jpg) smiles on the arm of Forbes, head of the college (Jonathan Rhys-Meyers (http://www.dee-dee.net/jonny/caps/ambersons04.jpg)). Jake's enthusiasm for Sara's singing annoys Emma (http://www.miranda-richardson.com/laurafraser/lftoo03.jpg) enough that she leaves before the still-unnamed band starts. Ziggy arrives in a kilt and Ginny (http://www.empireonline.co.uk/img/gallery/large749.jpg) just smiles. Jack turns up with Genevieve (Anna Brewster (http://www.empireonline.co.uk/img/gallery/large513.jpg)) as grabbed largely at random. William comports himself like the perfect gentleman with Charlotte (http://www.holby.tv/images/Web/wpe466.jpg). Andy looks around for Nicole (http://www.mischabarton.net/gall3.jpg)...

And as Milli elbows the punchbag in the "face" repeatedly, Escher comes in, watches with a grimace, and clears his throat to get her attention.

Escher: Young Mr. Halsall has awoken. He said something about "that voice".
Milli: Oh God.

She runs. She's already halfway to the door when Escher's phone rings.

Escher: Yes, hello?... Julianne Green... scratching at her ears, screaming about "the singing girl" and a voice in her head?

And on stage... Sara starts to sing...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

And as she sings, everyone stops and gazes up at her, open-mouthed... including the band... and their breath steams... and the steam trails extend, and twist, and gather, drawn into her glowing blue eyes...

Outside, Emma sees this and shoves at the door, to no avail, as Milli races up and immediately shoulder-barges it. Escher catches up, looks through the window and wheezes out a theory.

Escher: A Siren...
Milli: What's she doing?
Escher: Drawing out... (puff, puff, puff) their... (puff) lifeforce...
Milli: Oh God how do we stop her?
Escher: The... (puff) the eyes. But first you have to... block her song out.
Emma: I think I can help there.

Grasping Milli's ears gently, she mumbles a spell.

Emma: Words be unspoken, words be unheard, guard these ears from harm... How's that?
Milli: Huh? Sounds like tinnitus or something. Anyway... you go help Jake. He's closest, he's in most danger.

Emma gives her the thumbs up and proceeds to mystically deafen herself and Escher, and the three of them barge through the stage door.

Milli charges Sara and rushes her through into the wings, as the Siren shrieks and slashes at her with suddenly clawed hands.

While the trails of energy cease and fade, the crowd are still enraptured. Emma rushes over to Jake, still standing gripped by the Siren's Song. Waving her hand in front of his face elicits no reaction. Grabbing his ears and enchanting them doesn't work either. Jake can almost see her, as if from the bottom of a pool...

Emma: Damn it!

Sara sends Escher flying as Milli jabs at her blazing eyes with a stake.

Emma realises how to break the spell. She kisses Jake, their first kiss...

Milli glances over to check on Escher, sees the kiss and blinks. Sara backhands her across the stage and charges, howling and slashing the air with her talons.

Milli struggles to get a good grip on the stage - then kicks out at the perfect moment, sending the Siren flying over her head, spins around and slams her stake into her eye. Sara shrieks and explodes in a burst of blue light, leaving Milli holding a stake and Sara's dress.

The crowd stir, blink, shake their heads. Emma and Jake break off the kiss and look out at the confused crowd.

The band's bass player asks where Sara went.

Emma: Um... stage fright. (hissed to Jake) Play something.
Jake: Uh... what...
Emma: Play something!

Still trying to clear his head, he launches into the intro for Johnny Be Good...

Escher and Emma stumble over, straightening his back, as Emma returns her and Milli's hearing, then his.

Escher: Well done, both of you.

Milli nods slightly, glances over to the stage, and goes to sit down outside.

Later on, as the Sneaker Pimps play, Jake dances arm-in-arm with Emma. Ginny manages to drag Ziggy onto the dancefloor as well. William and Charlotte sit at the side sharing a cup of punch. Matthew from Biology asks Andy "is it true that you and Jack...? No? Oh, would you like to..."

And Milli's still outside. Escher comes over and sits by her.

Escher: You really did very well tonight. Only a few of them will know to thank you, but every one of them should.
Milli nods and says nothing.
Escher: Now, I'm sure this isn't the only reason you're upset, but I know you don't get on well with your family... but while they may not be proud of you, I am very proud of you.
She nods again.
Escher: And if you need to talk... or to get away. I'll still be in town. So will Ziggy, but don't let that put you off.

She looks up and almost smiles, as the camera tracks onto the stage, around the band, circles over the crowd, and tracks back into Cambridge by night as a light snow starts to fall.

CREDITS
Special thanks to Elissa Carey for her contribution to making the preparations so much scarier for the guys.
The Mutant Enemy wears a party hat...

[Craig Oxbrow]

Escher V/O: Next year, on The Watch House:

Soundtrack: Ash, Kung Fu
The group charging, weapons readied.

Andy clutching his head, shuddering and screaming:

Andy: No, not now!

Ziggy listening on the phone, his other hand clenching into a fist as he swallows hard...

Charlotte screaming in horror as William tries to comfort her, while he's wide-eyed with shock himself.

Jake trying to ward off a vision.

The group looking down on a ballroom full of red-robed cultist types.

William: Uh-oh.
Emma: That's all you can say? Uh-oh?

Jack getting kicked in the face.

A stitched-together monster lurching out of the darkness.

Soundtrack: Mozart, The Magic Flute
Milli sitting arms folded in a large, staid sitting room, being glared at by her parents.

Mr. Taylor on the phone.

Taylor: They're gone. Move now.

Soundtrack: Ash again.
The window of Escher's unlit office shattering and someone or something diving through...

Escher V/O: The Watch House returns in the New Year.

--

Actual Play bit

A full complement, and all the same players, for I think the first two sessions in a row ever!

Anyway, my pacing's still wonky (and my mystery just kind of happened) but this time I have an excuse. The game just danced along for two hours before I even dropped a clue about the Siren. We started early, we ended late, we could have run on longer except we had a wrap party to go to. It's reached the point of really coming alive.

A new subplot came in (details in the Spoilers thread), some existing character conflicts (both serious and comic) were strengthened and advanced, and the mix of comedy (I was laughing so much Cat accused me of a "very girly giggle" during the wrap party) and angst is starting to reach the right level.

I'm having a great time. :D

[Professor Phobos]

Sounds really cool, Craig.

[Joe Dizzy]

Hehe... having a fun Rashômon flashback here.

Was a fun game though, looking forward to continuing it next year.

Joe

[colbabe]

I almost hate to say it, but this ep was better than our own ball episode (http://www.geocities.com/buffynightwatch/Episode1_8.html) - higher stakes, the ball as the centre of the mystical-problem du jour, and the humour factor. Sorry Steve.

[Craig Oxbrow]

:eek:

Nuh-uh! This didn't have the level of comic confusion and misunderstanding, let alone any massive ouch-inducing lines to even begin to approach Miranda's dismissal.

(But I was still really happy with it, and I'm glad my Cast were.)

[colbabe]

There is that, I guess. Sometimes you just can't beat a traditional British farce. :D

[Craig Oxbrow]

Darn tootin'.

[NPC Steve D Gone Troppo]

Crap - time running out at net cafe, so no time to read this. (hmm...unless I...no)

"I almost hate to say it, but this ep was better than our own ball episode - higher stakes, the ball as the centre of the mystical-problem du jour, and the humour factor. Sorry Steve."

Dammit, this is turning into a competition! Now I have to make the second series as cool as this one. Good thing they're not too similar...

It is worth pointing out that my ball episode hinged on the players abilities to be the big bads that ep, hence the mystical mystery plot was far more vague. And in fact, absent in one case. My bad, I didn't prep Jody enough on being evil. I ran out of plot ideas and gave all such duties to him, which was unfair and difficult for anyone to pull off.

One script in my head had "Fay" attacking Susan with a pair of darning scissors, trying to cut her eyes out to complete a ritual, on the roof of Queen's College, as a massive thunderstorm crashed above.

Keep it coming, Craigo.
Steve

[Unregistered D]

Put some more money in the meter and read it. As you said, it's come alive and hit the sweet spot, and that's really obvious in the write-ups. Angst is firing, dialogue is hot, characters really nailing their niches and plots zooming along perfectly, even without pacing. Hooray!

Steve

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by Unregistered D
Hooray!
Yay!

And I'm the one that has to make my series cool.

Unfortunately, there's now a month-long break in the game just as we start rolling. Damn you, Christmas holidays! Daaaamn yooooou!

(I'd cheerfully run the Odd Couple adventures of Ziggy and Milli staying at Escher's house over Xmas...)

[Jeffwik]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
Yay!

And I'm the one that has to make my series cool.

Unfortunately, there's now a month-long break in the game just as we start rolling. Damn you, Christmas holidays! Daaaamn yooooou!

(I'd cheerfully run the Odd Couple adventures of Escher and Milli staying in town over Xmas...)

Yes... sadly the episode before the season finale and season finale itself IMC have been separated by about a month.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Yeowch. Sorry about that.

(And gah - wrong Odd Couple in my original post!)

[Joe Dizzy]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
(I'd cheerfully run the Odd Couple adventures of Ziggy and Milli staying at Escher's house over Xmas...)

...

Buh-rilliant! Simply buh-rilliant!

Joe

[Coffee_Lifeform]

I'm up for that - if Mr. Escher offers crash space, Milli'd totally prefer to stay on-campus, and her player'll be approximately sixty miles from the middle of nowhere for the festive season... :)

[Craig Oxbrow]

Aww, why do you guys have to go? :(

*looks at the live chat function...*

Happy with the writeup otherwise?

[Craig Oxbrow]

The Watch House 1.7: Blood And Family

Previously on The Watch House:
Escher: I know you don't get on well with your family... but while they may not be proud of you, I am very proud of you.
Milli nods.
Escher: And if you need to talk... or to get away. I'll still be in town. So will Ziggy, but don't let that put you off...
Milli looks up and almost smiles.

Pre-credits

Professor Francis Baker, Master of the College (Bill Nighy (http://humans.bitofearth.net/bill/bill2.jpg)) leans against the fireplace with a brandy in hand.

Baker: They finally determined the body was Gordon's by his dental records, but how they thought of that is beyond me. After all, the state of the body indicated he'd been dead for at least seven years...

Gathered around the fire, the rest of the supervisors of King's College school of history, and a handful of other courses, laugh and applaud as he sketches a bow and raises his glass.

Baker: Now, who's next? Michael, another of your 'true' stories is it?

Escher half-smiles as he stands and clears his throat, ready to add to the annual tradition of ghost stories before the Christmas break, dating back to M.R. James's tenure as provost of the College.

Escher: Yes, another of my 'true' stories. Comes from one of my students this year...

Fade to William arriving at the Groves family's country house on edge of Teversham, Cambridgeshire...
Jack reaching the family home in London. His father Alistair (Ron Leibman, seen on the left here (http://66.70.254.21/boxart/HostileWitness.jpg)) shakes his hand and doesn't offer to carry his bags. Neither do his brothers Rob (Kevin McKidd (http://www.alternativehollywood.de/bilder/mckidd5.jpg)) and Gavin (Douglas Henshall (http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Film/Close_Up/Players/1999/07/21/henshall.jpg)).
Andy climbs out of a cab at the door of a well-appointed Yorkshire farmhouse. Somewhere a dog howls mournfully...
Jake helps Emma out of the train at Waverley Station, Edinburgh.
Ziggy stands in the hall of Escher's house, on the phone to Jamaica, waiting for an answer...
And Milli reaches the Blackhursts' house outside Stapleford, south Cambridgeshire,just an hour and a half on the bus but it may as well be the other side of the world...

And back in Cambridge, across the road from the bus depot, a familiar car sits unnoticed as Mr. Taylor's spy calls his employer.

Spy: The Blackhurst girl finally left, sir.
Taylor: Tut tut. It's Christmas Eve. Trying to avoid her family. These young people today, no sense of loyalty...
Spy: No sir.
Taylor: Still, at least we don't have to pay our freelancers double time, despite the season.
Spy: Just Escher and Roots left.
Taylor: Jolly good. You have a go for tonight...

CREDITS!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Andy's mother Celia (Harriet Walter (http://www.next-stage.co.uk/images/Patron%20images/harriet_walter.jpg)) greets her son at the door with a brief hug.

Celia: Your father's still at the office, of course. Why he can't call is quite beyond me. But anyway, how was university?
Andy: Fine. I met lots of people, made some friends. They're in with the Watchers so they know. Now.
Celia: And how are you, ah, feeling?
Andy: Oh, uh, no problems there.
Celia: Oh good, very glad to hear that.
Andy: Yeah, um... any word about Liz?
Celia: Still too early to call it, I'm afraid...
Andy: We can hope. I mean, sometimes it skips a generation.
Celia: Yes, well, we can hope.

And they carry on inside, passing a picture of the Sampsons... including Elizabeth, Andy's younger sister...

Emma roots around her bag for her keys, and looks over at Jake as she does.

Emma: Now, before you ask, no they don't.
Jake: They don't...?
Emma: Know about the magic.
Jake: They don't?
Emma: Nope. I mean, they know I have an interest in the subject, but they don't know it's, er, an active interest.
Jake: And you'd rather they kept on not knowing?
Emma: Yeah. So I met you at a club. Which is essentially true...

Mrs. Mary Grove (Celia Imrie (http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/climate/whoswho/images/auntsadie.jpg)) knits.
Mr. Edward Grove (Bernard Hill (http://us.ent4.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/universal_pictures/the_scorpion_king/bernard_hill/kingpre.jpg)) taps his finger against the spine of a leather-bound treatise on images of demons in pre-Christian religious art. William listens to the click of knitting needles, the tap of finger on cover, the tick of the grandfather clock in the hall. Finally, his father looks over at him.

Mr. Grove: So. How is the old alma mater?
William: Oh, it's... very good. I've been keeping up with my studies.
Mr. Grove: That young Escher keeping you busy, eh?
William: Yes, quite busy. And I've made some friends. Oh, and I met a girl.

The clicking and tapping stop. William looks over to make sure the clock hasn't stopped as well.

Mrs. Grove: That's nice, dear.
Mr. Grove: From one of the old families, or is she a civilian?
William: Uhh, yes.
Mr. Grove: Smart, though. I trust.
William: Yes, very.
Mr. Grove: Good, good. But could she keep a secret?
William: Oh, uh, well, uh, I don't know. I haven't asked her to yet.
Mr. Grove: Good lad.

And with that, he turns his attention back to his book...

Jack's parents are on edge during the holidays. They're on another of their trial separations, and this one has listed since the summer. Rob and Gavin both have girlfriends with them, both different girlfriends than they had last time Jack saw them... in September.

Rob: So, on the team yet?
Jack: Starting line.
Gavin: Christ, they must be hard up. Oh deary me...
Alistair: Any chance we could have one quiet meal in the next three days?
Rob: Statistically, sure. Actually...

Ziggy hangs on the phone, pacing impatiently.

The Blackhurst house is large enough to hide in and feel like you're the only person there. This has proven useful more than once in Milli's life. Today, however, she is the centre of attention.

Mrs. Diana Blackhurst (Jenny Agutter (http://www.bbc.co.uk/drama/faces/images/jenny_agutter.jpg)) peers at her daughter as if studying a hieroglyphic inscription that turns out to say something rude about the Pharaoh's wife. And this after Milli flattened her hair down. Mr. Alexander Blackhurst (Peter Mullan (http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Film/Pix/pictures/2001/01/26/mullan.jpg)) grimaces as she starts her attack.

Mrs. Blackhurst: Well, it's obvious you've been... busy. Mister Escher tells us you've kept up your studies and your training, so I suppose we should be grateful for all small mercies. Hm. (points to earlobe ring) Does that hurt?
Milli: Erm. No.
Mr. Blackhurst: Well, I'm sure that it's the style these days.
Mrs. Blackhurst: That's hardly an excuse, now is it?
Mr. Blackhurst: Harrumph. I wasn't about to say it was, Diana. Looks like the sign of an impressionable mind to me...
Milli: May I, uh, go to my room?
Mr. Blackhurst: Certainly. Dinner at five.

Jake meets the Radcliffes, Peter (Michael Palin (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/excessbaggage/images2001/palin-train-fs.jpg)) and Sarah (Emily Watson (http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Events/1295/EmilyWatson_DeGuire_315643_400.jpg)). They're all smiles and warm greetings. Jake has a comfortable spare room downstairs, as well as getting a look in Emma's room, which has a fair amount of New Age reading on the bookshelves next to well-read Tolkien paperbacks and a stack of movie magazines. Cauldrons and medieval weapons are conspicuous by their absence.

Ziggy bounces a ball against the wall like Steve McQueen in The Great Escape, and then looks up his mobile's phone book for people to prank call.

Mr. Blackhurst comes to Milli's door, knocks, but doesn't enter.
(Cat: Is he talking through the door, so I can make any faces I like?)

Mr. Blackhurst: So, are you doing all this just to anoy my wife?
Milli: All what?
Mr. Blackhurst: The hair and the earlobes, and the nostril.
Milli: I'm just trying to express myself.
Mr. Blackhurst: And you can't do that verbally?
Milli: It's very different in uni.
Mr. Blackhurst: Clearly.
Milli: And I'm twenty years old!
Mr. Blackhurst: hmm, thought she was eighteen.
Milli: ... I think I'm allowed a certain freedom to do what I want.
Mr. Blackhurst: make your own mistakes, hm?
Milli: I'm not making mistakes.
Mr. Blackhurst: Yes, well. You're free to come down if you want. Or not. Er, dinner at five.
Milli: ... Yes, father.

Confirming that she doesn't have a phone in her room (of course she doesn't) Milli takes out her mobile. The ringing of a telephone echoes through the quiet of the Grove household.

Mrs. Grove: Grove residence...
Milli: Hi, can I speak to William please?
Mrs. Grove: Just a moment... it would appear to be a young lady.
William: Oh, er, uh... thank you. (takes the phone) Hello?
Milli: Hi... can you do me a huge favour?
William: Ah...
Milli: Call my house and pretend to be Mister Escher. Say there's, uh, a Watcher emergency, that, uh, only my special skills can deal with.
William: Uh...
Milli: Please?

William looks perplexed. Milli goes to the kitchen, as she'll be missing dinner, and makes a big sandwich while she waits. William being a good guy, she doesn't have to wait too long.

Mrs: Blackhurst: Hello, Blackhursts.
William: This is Mister Escher. Can I speak to Milli... cent please?
(This after spending a Drama Point to get out of having originally asked to speak to Mr. Blackhurst...)
Mrs. Blackhurst: It's Mister Escher. I think he has a cold...
Milli: Oh. Gosh. I wonder what he wants on Christmas Eve. (takes the phone)
William: I think she fell for it?
Milli: Really? A Rashnakh Demon? Oh my God. Terrorising the university you say?
William: Huh?
Milli: But it's Christmas, and I'm with my family... he's destroying my schoolbooks? I'll be there as soon as possible! I'll meet you at the bus station!

Milli fights to maintain a straight face as she looks in on her parents. Mr. Blackhurst looks up and raises a quizzical eyebrow. Mrs. Blackhurst doesn't look up.

Milli: There's a Rashnakh Demon threatening the library! We dealt with one this term, and I'm closest.
Mrs. Blackhurst: I'd have thought the Groves were closer.
Milli: Not quite, no. But, yes, I really have to get ou-over there, it's a scared duty, I'll probably be home at Easter, bye.

A quick peck on each cheek and out she runs. Her parents look over at each other.

Mrs. Blackhurst: She gets it from you, you know.
Mr. Blackhurst: Hmph. Sounds like your side to me. Just like a Giles...

Milli gets a bus back to Cambridge forthwith. And she calls the real Escher to warn him. Naturally, Ziggy answers, breaking off a display of unskilled shadow puppetry.

Milli: Ziggy?
Ziggy: Oh, it's you. You interrupted me there. What do you want?
Milli: To talk to Mister Escher?
Ziggy: Oh. Why?
Milli: My parents' house burned down, and I'm much too traumatised. I. Don't. Want. To. Talk. About. It.
Ziggy: Uh, right. Here you go.
Milli: Uh, hi, Mister Escher, sir.
Escher: Milli? What is it?
Milli: I, uh, kinda lied and said you called. I told my parents that you need me to come back to Cambridge to help with an emergency.
Escher: I see. If you'd asked, I would have covered for you.
Milli: Oh, um, thanks.

By the time she gets there, it's nearly three.

And by then, the plan is already in action...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Escher pauses and swirls his glass of scotch, before continuing.

Escher: So, I now had two of my class staying over...

While unknowingly waiting for Milli to arrive, Ziggy finds the Radcliffe family in the Edinburgh Yellow Pages and attempts a prank call of his own.

Ziggy: Yes, this is Inspector... Stevenson, Cambridge CID. We've had a report of a case of indecent exposure, suspect referred to as 'Jake'...
Sarah (laughing and calling out): Jake? It's one of your friends from uni!
Ziggy: sigh.
Jake (taking the phone): A'right, how you doin'?
Ziggy: I'm bored to bits here. The whole town basically shuts during the holidays.
Jake: Sorry. Weren't you going home?
Ziggy: Yeah, right. Nothing to do there either.
Jake: Oh, sorry man. Wait, what's that? I hear the pub calling! One of many in this beautiful city. And t says Emma's dad's buying!
Ziggy: I hate you. Merry Christmas.

Jack's brothers argue, their parents glare silently. Rob makes a point of calling the office.

Rob: How's the Bali deal going? Good, good. And Singapore?
Gavin: Yes, yes, the stock market's so bloody exciting.
Rob: Well, compared to I.T. obviously.
Gavin: Can't rest, even on Christmas Eve, Mister Scrooge...
Rob: You must have been up all night coming up with that one. Did you get Jack to help you? Maybe call the writers at Footlights for some material?

Jack goes out for a walk, head down, hands in pockets.

Milli drops her bag in one guest room and Ziggy sticking his head out of the other.

Ziggy: So, what, you're staying here?
Milli: Well, yeah.
Ziggy: So, house burned down, eh? (Bad Sean Connery Impression) Shocking. Family alright?
Milli: They're fine. They haven't changed. (She shares a look with Escher, who nods.)
Ziggy: So, where are they staying?
Milli: Neighbours.
Ziggy: And why aren't you staying with them?
Milli: There was only enough room for them.
Ziggy: Unfortunate.
Milli: Yes. So unfortunate that I. Don't. Want. To. Talk. About. It.
Ziggy: ... Right. Well, nice to have you. Boring here. Shadow figures only keeps you amused for up to fifteen minutes, tops.
Milli: Shadow figures... You... oh, never mind. Um. Mister Escher, have you got any board games? Play board games at Christmas.
Escher: Um, yes. Cluedo, Monopoly...
Milli: Especially really boring ones.
Escher: Well, there's always Chess. Backgammon?
Milli: I know! We could play Cluedo, except we actually kill you (points at Ziggy) and hide your body somewhere. Like Cluedo and Hide And Seek.
Ziggy: ... I'm going out.

Milli: I know, maybe we should call everybody, see how they're doing.
Ziggy: Or, we could talk trash about them behind their backs.
Milli: But it's not as much fun when they aren't here to hear it.
Ziggy: So we can take notes and tell them what we said... Anyway. Going out wandering. Bored.
Milli: I'm boring?
Ziggy: Yes. I try to talk about fun stuff like your parents' house burning and you shut me down.
Milli: So... Andy's a werewolf, huh? What's up with that?
(Drama Point time, yeah)
Ziggy: I dunno. I just know I'm gonna spend the entirety of the holiday resenting them all having more fun than me.

Cut to Jack kicking a can down the street, Andy pacing around the back field throwing stones across the pool at the bottom...

Milli: What about William? He's probably bored out of his head.
Ziggy: Well, he can come and be bored here... Hrm. Do you think Jake and Emma will work out?
Milli: I... Uh, you're a guy, what d'you think?
Ziggy: I doubt it. I mean, if they can avoid having to fight monsters all the time they could be fine.
Milli: Stress on the relationship?
Ziggy: I guess. Where it started, I suppose...

Cut to Jake, Emma and her parents sharing a funny story at their local...

Ziggy: Hey, you want to go loot Escher's office?
Milli: How about we go to the pub?
Ziggy: I like the way you think. So how's you, trying to break the hearts and ribcages of guys?
Milli: I don't do that, generally.
Ziggy: There was that guy who asked you out.
Milli: Henry? Well, he's… nice, but... not exciting. I like exciting.
Ziggy: There can only be so much excitement in one person. I mean, probably the most exciting person I've met here is Mister Escher, and that's really sad.
Milli: Jake?
Ziggy: After like two weeks he got caught by a girl.
Milli: He's in a band.
Ziggy: And he just threw that away! I mean, Mister Escher was out on Saturday nights more than we were!
Milli: Anyway, are we goin' out or not?

Ziggy looks out and find that it's snowing. He blinks and turns to Milli.

Ziggy: Uh... does that happen very often, the clouds falling apart like that?
Milli: It's called snow. Snoooow.
Ziggy: Do I need to explain the concept of irony again?

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Despite the seasonal weather, they go out on an attempted pub crawl.

Ziggy: How many pubs in a crawl?
Milli: Just one for you.
Ziggy: You've never seen me drink.
Milli: Exactly. Let's have a pub competition.
Ziggy: Fine, you pick.
Milli: Let's see if the gay bar's open...

(Cat: Do we have to roll for this?
Me: Constitution rolls, yeah...
Cat: Constitution and Getting Medieval?
Me: Only if you're drinking mead...)

Their constitutions being pathetic, they give up halfway to the second pub and go back to Escher's where it's warm.

Night falls sometime before four. King's College Chapel has a service for those in town at six, and the Master of the College hosts the traditional storytelling evening afterwards.

Andy and the rest of the Sampson clan gathered around the TV. John Sampson (Nigel Terry (http://www.zeitgeistfilms.com/current/caravaggio/nigel.jpg)) finally arrives. As they get up to shift the dishes, Liz (Honeysuckle Weeks (http://www.honeysuckleweeks.co.uk/hw_cr02.jpg)) leans over and murmurs:

Liz: So, how's your cycle?
Andy: My whuh... Oh. I'm pretty much in control.
Liz: Pretty much? Had any close calls? Emotional, maybe?
Andy: Well, I did turn once. But we were being attacked by this big scary thing... And my friends were talking to me again after three weeks... Well, most of them... Are you okay?
Liz: I've just been... moody lately. It could just be, y'know, normal girl lunar cycle but... if it's not...
Andy: Right. Um.

Jake and Emma with the Radcliffes, watching Jonathan Creek.

Jack in the pub, by himself.

William in his room, reading one of the pulp adventures of Colonel X. Downstairs, his parents listen to a new recording of the Moonlight Sonata.

Mr. Grove: Hmm. Found a girl at last.
Mrs. Grove: Early days yet, Edward.
Mr. Grove: Hm, perhaps. Still, it's not like our day. Can't just meet at the library during the Council Lectures, go to a coffee house and discuss Akkadian symbology.
Mrs. Grove: I suppose not. And at least he isn't carrying a torch for that Blackhurst girl.

(Cat: Everybody's parents hate me!
Joe: Oh come on, only the ones that know you exist.)

That Blackhurst girl, meanwhile, huddles on a pew in the chapel between Escher and Ziggy, listening to a hymn of celebration...

6.30 a.m. Christmas morning. Still dark. Absolutely nobody awake. Not even a mouse.

Until Milli runs into Ziggy's room and jumps on the bed, landing on his legs. We confirm that Ziggy sleeps clothed... considering his feelings about the cold, he has his coat draped over the bed too.

Ziggy: ooowwhatthehell?
Milli: It's Christmas! Yay!
Ziggy: Urrrh... it'll still be Christmas after sunrise, you know.
Milli: It's Christmas! (And I'm not at my parents'!) C'mon!

And meanwhile a window shatters as someone leaps through it...

And in suburban Edinburgh, Jake rolls over in his sleep as he "hears" glass breaking, "sees" dark figures smash their way into Escher's office...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

A manlike figure in dark clothing clambers through the broken window as a second rolls and climbs to its feet next to Escher's desk. It lopes towards the door, undoing a lock and opening it for a third figure, a young woman with long dark hair (Fairuza Balk (http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/1375/Events/1375/FairuzaBalkattheChry_Wargo_322779_400.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Balk,%20Fairuza)) pacing impatiently outside. She looks up and smiles as she leans in. The male figures nod, light from the corridor revealing their mottled, reptilian green and blue skin.

Jake shakes his head as the vision fades. And gets up to call Ziggy.

Jake: Get up, get up. I had a vision.
Ziggy: I don't care. Milli's on top of me and I'm drunk.
Jake: Huh? Uh, anyway. Vision.

Ziggy hands the phone to Milli.

Milli: Hi, what's up?
Jake: I had a vision. Some kind of things breaking into Escher's office.
Milli: Oh God... when?
Jake: Just now. Maybe it hasn't happened yet. But anyway, be careful. They look mean.
Milli: We'll check it out. Yeah... so how's your Christmas been?
Jake: Uh, whuh? Uh, fine. How're you, not at home?
Milli: It was bad.
Jake: Must be, to go and stay with Ziggy.
Milli: Yeah, when are you coming back?
Jake: New Year, I guess. Shouldn't you be going, with the vision and all?
Milli: Oh, uh, right. Bye.

She tosses the phone back to Ziggy.

Ziggy: he sounded weird on the phone, maybe he's not having such a great time with Emma.
Milli: You think?... Nah, probably just the vision.

Milli goes to wake Escher:

Milli: Uh, Mister Escher, Jake called, he saw your office being attacked by demons.
Escher: What? Oh. Bloody hell. Thank you. Ah, Merry Christmas. I'll be down in five minutes.
Milli: We're going over now.
Escher: Right. Well, don't go in. Just check the perimeter. Oh, and presents on the kitchen table.

As they make coffee and retrieve hats and gloves, they do indeed find gifts Ziggy gets a King's scarf and Milli gets a Hendrix CD.

And off they go on this cold and frosty morning to the college, fifteen minutes' walk away. Milli shoves the slightly unsteady Ziggy.

Ziggy: Shove me again and I'll punch you.

Sure enough, a shove or two later, they find the door to the history building slightly open, and the window of Escher's office smashed in. They approach the office door, ready their weapons, listen at the door:

Ziggy: The wind...

So Milli opens the door onto darkness. Ziggy flicks on a Maglite and sweeps it around, catching no movement except... oh, it's the curtain. Milli charges in, elbows the light switch, stops in the centre of the room and finds... it's deserted. She relaxes... and Ziggy slaps her on top of the head.

Ziggy: Still owed you a punch.

It's been ransacked, overturned. At least the locked bookcase with the most sensitive items is still in one piece... but something must have been taken. But what?

Escher arrives, says "Bloody Hell" and double-checks the lock on the bookcase.

Milli: So what do we do?
Escher: Well, we need to find what they've taken. So we need to catalogue everything.
Ziggy: Could we maybe get the window fixed as well?
Escher: Hm? Right. Yes. I'll need to call Baker about this... God, this'll take until Boxing Day.
Milli: So, any idea what the things were?
Escher: Let me consult my books, he says standing in them...

Going over to one of the bookshelves and rooting around in the pile below it.

Escher: Mottled blue and green, reflective orange eyes, prominent brow ridges and curved fangs... Ah, yes. Probably Kejalda Demons, a subspecies known for their mercenary tendencies and their diet of dried red meat, particularly pork.
Ziggy: Dried pork?

And at Ivor Preston Farms, in a meat packing plant currently closed for the holidays, one of the Kejalda takes a torn pig carcass down from its hook, smacking his leathery lips together...

Escher: Besides pork, Kejalda have a weakness in their skin over the belly and under the jaw. Something to do with... unhinging their jaws to take larger bites... Hmm.

Milli calls Jake to give them the 'good' news.

Jake: So, Kettle Demons huh?
Milli: Something like that.
Jake: No sign of the girl, either?
Milli: no, no really pretty black-haired girls loitering being sinister and pretty.
Jake: Uh... good.
Milli: Anyway, we're going to sort out a roomful of overturned books. Enjoy your Christmas...
Jake: Yeah, you have fun with Ziggy.
Milli: He's sacked out hung over in the corner.
Jake: That'll help...

Ziggy looks up from a book about magical events around the seasons.

Ziggy: Apparently there are Christmas leprechauns. These guys were green, right?
Milli: I wish they'd at least let us take Christmas off.
Escher: Well, they have their own celebrations of midwinter. Vampires tend to celebrate with, ah, feasts.
Milli: Lovely.
Escher: And they don't have to shop for presents, either.
Ziggy: Bastards!

Escher looks through his desk, finding one drawer open. He looks through it and grimaces.

Escher: Well, there's one thing missing. A Cambridge Streetfinder.
Ziggy: Huh? They broke in to steal a map?
Escher: The one with the annotations.
Milli: Er...
Escher: The map of the Shield.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Our heroes discuss the possibilities of someone knowing the exact location of the Shield.

Escher: It doesn't note the standing stones...
Milli: But someone could work it out.
Escher: Well, we did choose strong stones five hundred years ago.
Ziggy: Five hundred years ago we didn't have bulldozers.
Escher: Hrm.
Milli: We'll go and look. How many are there?
Escher: Seven. Three are in town now.
Milli: So the other four could be out in fields unguarded. Right, we'll go check on them.
Ziggy: To confirm we're too late.
Escher: Maybe we need more numbers.
Milli: But it's Christmas...
Escher: Yes, I know. But I think that they should be informed at least.

And when William is informed, he goes to grab his coat.

Mr. Grove: And where would you be rushing off to?
William: That was Mister Escher. His office has been ransacked by Kejalda Demons.
Mrs. Grove: Edward, warm up the car.
William: Huh?
Mr. Grove: It's a matter of duty, my lad.

As the Groves prepare for a family outing, Milli drives to the first of the standing stones.

Ziggy: I'm calling Jack.
Milli: Uh, why?
Ziggy: If we're going to be disturbed by this, so is he...

Looking at his arguing brothers and silently fuming parents, Jack says "I can be there in an hour." Andy, likewise, ponders the options and starts to get ready to go out.

Andy: I'll be there in about four hours.
Ziggy: We'll hopefully still be here. If not, avenge my death!
Andy: Uh, right...

Finally, Ziggy calls Jake.

Jake: Hey dude, Merry Christmas. Sorry about earlier.
Ziggy: Right, yeah, happy holidays. Well, as you may know, Mister Escher's office was ransacked by demons.
Jake: I told you.
Ziggy: So you know. Anyway, they might be trying to destroy the Shield and wipe us all out, so could you come help out?
Jake: I'll see if I can get the train company to put a special train on just for me...

After putting the phone down, he looks in on Emma.

Jake: Do you have any teleportation spells?
Emma: Fresh out. Sorry! Uh, why?
Jake: Oh, Ziggy called, some kinda Watcher emergency. Entire city destroyed by monsters or somethin'.
Emma: Right. Um. Are you going?
Jake: Well, if the trains are running, maybe.
Emma: We can borrow the car, be there in about six hours.
Jake: I don't want to take you away from your family on Christmas Day.
Emma: And if the world's about to end...
Jake: Oh, that's just Zig being melodramatic.
Emma: Yeah, well. C'mon, I'll get the keys off my dad.
Jake: I should point out I'm against you coming, but I can't stop you.
Emma: Damn right you can't...

By the time Milli and Zig return, Jack and Andy have arrived, and they, Escher and the Groves have catalogued the books. Milli manages the "how nice to see you, what the hell are you doing here?" grin on seeing the Groves, who return "what do you look like?" smiles in turn.

Milli: Mister Grove, Mrs. Grove! What a surprise...
Mrs. Grove: Millicent... what have you done to your hair?
Milli: I've dyed it pink! I also have lots of rings in my ears and a stud in my nose!
Mrs. Grove: That's nice, dear. (To her husband) Diana must have hit the roof. Sorry I missed that.

Milli: I can't believe you brought your parents!
William: I couldn't do anything, they insisted... sacred duty?

Escher: They appear to have taken three books. The Streetfinder. "Ley Lines: Their Empowering And Application". That combination immediately worries me. And "A Discourse on the Prophecies of Obearsain and the Time of the Protector from On High". First edition, typically enough.
Milli: Who's the Protector from On High?
Escher: Well, that's what the Discourse is about...
Milli: It'll be me, knowing my luck.
Escher: No, this is in the Americas if I recall...

Once Jake and Emma arrive shortly before five, the ten-strong assembly discuss what to do.

Mr. Grove: Well, we know about the Kejalda diet. Has anyone checked for a local butcher? They like to lair near supplies of food.
Escher: Yes, there are a few possibilities. Associated Meat Packing... Too big, might still be open. Preston Farms...
Andy: That's a good one. Pig farm, small, out of the way...
Jack (suspiciously): How do you know that?
Andy: Uh... I live on a farm. I went on a tour. I like to know these things. About the industry.

They discuss tactics.

Ziggy: So there are, what, three exits? Jack, you and the Groves cover the big door. Mister Escher, you me and Milli at the one side. Jake, Emma and Andy at the other. Jack, could you stop interrupting me?
Jack: Huh? I was just saying we should...
Ziggy: Planning! Shut up now!
Jack: What about a solid charging line?
Emma: We're using crossbows. No crossbows in rugby.
Jack: You can't reload faster than I can tackle them.
Jake: This is a repeating crossbow.
Jack: Oh.
Jake: I'm not that good of a shot.

Jack: I want to go in the same door as Milli and Andy.
Ziggy: We're splitting you up because you (Milli and Andy) can fight and we can watch you (Jack) get killed.
Jack: Gee, thanks.
Ziggy: I don't want anybody getting killed. Except you.
Milli: Okay, seriously, you have to look after William's parents.

Cut to Mrs. Grove casually loading and cocking a crossbow as Mr. Grove whirls a sword around expertly, testing its weight.

Mr. Grove: Nice balance. Bit of a heavy swing around the pommel, maybe.
Escher: Well, let's see what else we have, since you didn't bring your own sword with you...

And so the posse proceed to Ivor Preston Farms. Sure enough, they find one of the meat lockers has a dent where the lock on its side door should be. They cover the doors, listen at one of them and hear crunching, and get back into a debate about who goes where.

Jack: This one's still locked! They're not gonna come out here!
Emma: You see how they broke that lock open? I think they could do that again...
Jack: Oh bollocks, We go through one door and drive them this way...

Milli rolls her eyes and charges in. That's my girl. Best use of the Reckless Drawback ever.

She duly finds two Kejalda Demons working their way through a mangled pig carcass. They look up, understandably startled. Then a crossbow bolt thuds into the wall next to the larger one's head.

Mr. Grove: Always a little to the left dear.
Mrs. Grove: Yes, well, these are my reading glasses.

One of them charges as the other pulls out a mobile phone

Smart Kejalda: Sir? They're here! Do we fight them or flee?... Er, sorry, what was that, you're breaking up, flee, right, got it!

And he duly flees. But he gets a few bolts in the back, and then Jack charges and goes to tackle him.

Mr. Grove: That one would be the lycanthrope, I trust?
William: Uh... actually, no.

The smart Kejalda elbows Jack in the face and he goes flying. Milli runs out of crossbow bolts and resorts to throwing a snowball, getting him right in the eye. He whirls around with a snarl, giving Jake a perfect shot at his throat. The dumber Kejalda continues his charge with half a dozen crossbow bolts stuck into him. Mr. Grove steps forward

Dead Kejalda don't have the common decency to explode or melt or anything, so they have to be incinerated. The assembled Watch have the good taste to drag the bodies outside, rather than smoking the salted pork in the locker.

And thus, our heroes successfully recover... the Cambridge Streetfinder. Looking through the smarter Kejalda's mobile's phonebook, they find a mobile number marked "Boss" as well as two for butchers.

Escher: We must assume their employer, whoever this is, has the other books. I'll find out who this number belongs to.
Mr. Grove: Good man. Now, I think we can just about manage Christmas dinner for all of you.
Mrs. Grove: Just about, as long as at least three of you don't want turkey or beef.
Emma: Anything as long as it isn't pork...

Mr. Taylor smiles placidly as the dark-haired girl taps her foot impatiently, looking around at the door of the bar.

Dark-Haired Girl: Where is he?
Taylor: I am certain that he shall be on time. He seems the sort.
Dark-Haired Girl: Rrrrr.
Taylor: I must admit, I always find impatience a positive characteristic, except when it leads to carelessness. Ah, yes, here he is now.

And in strides a tall, distinguished man in black wool winter coat and scarf. (Derek De Lint (http://members.fortunecity.com/derekrayne/gallery/affairs/image-09.jpg)) The girl rises the greet him, with a light embrace and a kiss on the cheek.

Dark-Haired Girl: Father.
Distinguished Man: Virginia... Mr. Taylor. Merry Christmas, and here's your gift.

He hands Taylor a small, leather-bound book. The balding man inspects the inner flyleaf.

Taylor: The Protector from On High. A first edition, no less.
Distinguished Man: The Watchers do tend to keep such things in-house.
Taylor: Quite. Thank you. Did you find what you went for as well?

The middle-aged man smiles wickedly and holds up "Ley Lines: Their Empowering And Application".

Distinguished Man: Yes and no. I found a start, at least. We just need a few more sources, helpfully listed in the bibliography, and then the Shield will shatter and the Watchers will be defenceless...
Taylor: Excellent. Well then. A toast to a prosperous and successful New Year!

And meanwhile, in the Grove house, another toast is being proposed as Escher comes in.

Mr. Grove: To the next generation. Our sword and our shield...
Escher: I've confirmed that it was a newly-bought "pay as you go" phone, of course. Still, we have some clues at last. I'll see about having a sketch of the girl drawn. It's a start, certainly.
Mrs. Grove: That it is. And I have every confidence that a way can be found.

The assembled group raise and chime their glasses, and we pull out through the window to the snow over the countryside...

CREDITS!
The Mutant Enemy wearing a Santa hat.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Next time on The Watch House:
Escher speaking before a council of elderly men.

Escher: This is part of a systematic attempt to undermine the Shield.

Milli ducking as a fist punches a hole in the wall where her head was.

Escher V/O: We must assume that we are under attack...

William flailing somewhat desperately with a burning torch.

Escher V/O: ... from some agency that is fully aware of our vulnerabilities.

Andy cornered, back to a wall, hunching over, narrowing his eyes and baring his teeth.

Escher V/O: The very foundations of our society are threatened.

Jake and Emma running as something lurches out of the dark behind them.

Escher V/O: As never before...

Jack being grabbed by the collar and thrown fifteen feet.

Cut back to the round table. Quentin Travers, the Council's head of security, nods slowly.

Travers: The threat is significant. Therefore, we have assigned one of our best and brightest.

And enter... Wesley Wyndham-Pryce.

Escher V/O: The next episode of The Watch House is Oxford Blues. Sunday at six.

Actual Play bit

My pacing's still all over the place. This week not helped by the intercutting of the Cast's separate lives. We ran over by fifteen minutes and the fight scene was still a rush job.

It probably says something about the game and/or me that I think of it as a "fight scene" rather than "combat", that traditional cornerstone of the fantasy adventure RPG...

[Phantom Stranger]

Very cool.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Thank you. :D

[Lord Darkblade]

Thrown another 15feet... this time I am sooo going to do more than go unconscious this time!!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Like what? Break your arm as well? :D

[morgue]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
Ziggy: Uh... does that happen very often, the clouds falling apart like that?

Hah!

And the rest. But that especially.

~`mrg

[SteveD]

I don't know if your pacing is problematic so much as different. Your show seems to be differently structured to Buffy, and to TNW. You have much looser plots. The MOTW doesn't show up till halfway typically, and is usually pretty easy to defeat. Therefore, you fill with buckets and buckets of pure character stuff, which works because you have a large group of main characters and oodles of NPCs which you can seemingly handle expertly.

Myself, I can rarely handle more than Pru, and my characters are all - by comparison - somewhat close-mouthed, so my show HAS to focus more on plot, so event pacing is perhaps a little easier.

Not that I mind them being a bit close-mouthed, it amuses me and it suits them all being boys. They're gruff adolsecents who never talk about anything. I hope that Charlie throws them all off balance by taking Cordy's approach to tact, and Xander's approach to babble.

Interesting take on Mr Taylor...I never imagined him ever leaving his office, although I suppose he must occasionally.

Or did I just give myself an idea....

Steve

[Craig Oxbrow]

The Watch House 1.8: Oxford Blues

Previously on The Watch House:
The Kejalda demons smashing into Escher's office, opening a door for the dark-haired girl.
Escher V/O: In all, three books are missing.
A Kejalda talking on a mobile phone as the group charge.
Escher V/O: I've confirmed that it was a newly-bought "pay as you go" phone, of course. Still, we have some clues at last.
The distinguished man smiling, holding up the stolen book on Ley Lines.
Distinguished Man: The Shield will shatter and the Watchers will be defenceless...
And on Buffy The Vampire Slayer:
Giles glaring at Quentin Travers, his superior on the Watchers' Council.
Travers: You're fired.

New Year comes and goes relatively peacefully, and soon after that the University comes back to life.

Gomez's Tijuana Lady plays as the camera tracks a single snowflake wending its way down over Cambridge, past the spires of King's College, and into the central court, bustling with activity. The snowflake settles on the ground... and a shoe promptly treads on it.

Charlotte pulls her scarf up to cover more of her neck and holds her arms close to her chest as she hurries from her cab to her room. Frank and Tim each shove a handful of snow into Barry's hood and pull it up. Navinder makes a point to go around the square rather than going anywhere near the rugger buggers. Nicole blows on her hands as she strides purposefully along. The Brothers Grimm, the five medical students that go everywhere together, go somewhere together. Rosalind and Genevieve shriek rather unnervingly and run over to hug each other. Sophie smirks darkly as she promenades along on Lawrence's arm, with Kelvin jogging to keep up. Ginny waves to Sophie, and then goes back to looking on the noticeboard. Henry leans against it, trying to persuade his Zippo to light by frowning at it. The camera curves around to both of them looking a tad wistfully as Milli and Ziggy pass, heading for the School of History and Escher's newly reorganised office, now with a larger lockable bookcase. The group file in at their own pace and sit.

Milli: So, are you like going out with Charlotte?
William: Me? Oh, uh, we just went to the, I dunno, maybe...

Jack arrives last.

Jake: Why were we waiting for him?
Emma: Good question.

Escher: I have been called to the In Camera lectures of the Watchers' Council at Magdalen, in Oxford. The Council's security subcommittee want my personal report on the breaches of the Shield before the weekend lectures. Now, it isn't essential, but they generally appreciate Prentices attending. (He looks to William, Milli, Andy and Ziggy.) They feel you might learn something...

(In Camera: private, literally "in the room", as opposed to In Publica. See, gaming can be educational.)

Milli: Oh, but I have the thing that weekend. You know, very important.
Ziggy: Yes, and I have... there's a Fawlty Towers marathon on cable. I've never seen it, and it's apparently a British institution.
Jake: That's next weekend.
Ziggy: Ah, no. No! Not on, ah, cable. I have cable. Yes.
Milli: So, yeah, we're all busy next weekend.
Escher: Well, that's good, because it's this weekend.
Milli: Ah, I mean this weekend. Yeah...

Milli: But, ah, you'll be going? We can learn from you. You're a very good teacher. I've always thought so.
Andy: And I can't. Time of the month.
Milli: Oh, me too.
Emma: And me.
Andy: Is this a compulsory thing?
Escher: I can make this compulsory.
William: We better go then.

Milli: So, while we're threatened by an enemy that can send vampires through the Shield and may be trying to destroy it, we're going off to another location covered by the same kind of shield that's full of Watchers hanging out and letting their guard down?
Jake: Yes... but they're smart and powerful and I'm sure it's perfectly safe.
Emma: Oh yeah.
Milli (quietly): maybe we should go...

Milli (sighing): Will my parents be there?
William: My mother will be baking cakes for it already...

Jack (to Jake and Emma): Hey, you two can always lurk in the back together.
Jake: We can do that in places that aren't full of Watchers wanting to ask us questions.

Milli: I don't get that prophecy book. It doesn't connect with the other two, so why take it?
Escher: Quite. I will be examining the copy in the Magdalen Library to see its importance. I believe one of the lectures concerns the Protector from On High, as this is a current event... in the Americas...

Leaving the group to stew in their self-pity, Escher goes off early to speak before a council of elderly men.

Escher: This is part of a systematic attempt to undermine the Shield. We must assume that we are under attack from some agency that is fully aware of our vulnerabilities. The very foundations of our society are threatened, as never before...

Quentin Travers, the Council's head of security (Harris Yulin (http://www.buffytvs.de/btvs/Serie/Charaktere/Pics/travers.jpg)) nods slowly and steeples his fingers.

Travers: The threat is significant, indeed. Therefore, we have assigned one of our best and brightest.

And enter... Wesley Wyndham-Pryce.

CREDITS!

[Craig Oxbrow]

(Special Guest Star: Alexis Denisof (http://www.scoobygang.net/wesleypic1.jpg).)

The group head for their natural habitat, the pub, to discuss things and possibly drown their sorrows.

Jack: So, Milli, how was Christmas?

Milli's use of The Look could kill a more sensitive man at fifty paces. Then Jake asks her:

Jake: With all the training you're doing, can I come along?
Milli: Sure.
Jake: I feel like I should get more practice in case everything goes tits-up and the dome falls.
Milli: Sure.
Jack: Can I come too?
Milli: No.
Jack: Aw, c'mon, can I play around with one of those crossbows?
Milli: No. It has sharp edges.
Jake: Yeah, I did some martial arts training while I was travelling -
Milli: You went travelling?
Jake: Just for a while. But I didn't get much use with the swords and stakes though.
Milli: Oh, I can totally help you there -
Ziggy: Get a room, you two...
Milli: What?
Emma: What?
Jake: Huh?

Ziggy stomps off ahead and holds the door for the group as they catch up.

Jack: So can I play with one of the crossbows now?
Emma: Only if you point it at Ziggy...

William: Anyway, we should get something from the bar.
Jake: Yeah, I mean you can't go this weekend. Your mum and dad'll be there.
Milli: And you should call Charlotte.
Ziggy: No, make it a guys' night out.
Emma: Uh, we're right here.
Jack: What we should actually do tonight is patrol.
Jake: Sure, you go do that. Take Ziggy.
Ziggy: Why do you hate me?
Jake: You go train in your gym and we'll do that hard work in the pub. These places are hives of vampire activity.
Andy: Yeah, and we should check the old graveyards and abandoned crypts as well.
Jake: Nah, you won't find vampires there...

William calls up Charlotte. She agrees to come over. He looks puzzled by how easy this was.

Ziggy: Now, we have to grill Charlotte. To see if she's not, you know. Evil.
Milli: Everyone be really nice. You especially.
Ziggy: I'm always nice.
Milli: In fact, you wanna just go somewhere
Ziggy: Um...
Milli: You know. Away.

Unfortunately, Charlotte arrives too quickly for this stratagem to pay off.

Ziggy: So, Charlotte. Are you a vampire?
Charlotte: Uh...
Milli: Don't mind Ziggy. He's drunk. And he has Tourette's. So, where are you from?
Charlotte: Uh... Dulwich?
Ziggy: I do not have Tourette's! We were all wondering it! Is this a race thing?

And Milli starts firing off questions, drowning Ziggy out but not proving much more comforting.

Milli: So how are your studies?
Charlotte: They're good.
Milli: What do you want to do with your degree?
Charlotte: Maybe teach.
Milli: That's nice. How many boyfriends have you had?
Charlotte: Two?
Milli: Were they serious?
Charlotte: Well, this was in high school...
Jack (interjecting): So, many exams?
Charlotte: You'd know if you attended your course instead of drinking with the rugby team.
Jack: Erm...
Milli: See, William's a nice guy, I don't want anything bad to happen.
Charlotte: Sure.
Jack: We like Bill.
Milli: When did it become Bill?
Jack: Jack and Bill.
Emma: That's not an image I needed.
William: So... you want to go to the club tonight?
Charlotte: W-will your friends be there?
William (glaring at them): No. They're busy.
Milli: Yes. We're busy.

The week passes peacefully enough. William and Charlotte go to the Basement again on Wednesday...

Ziggy: It's sad, you know. William's the only one of us with a girlfriend.
Jake: Uh, hello?
Emma: I'm right here?
Ziggy: Sorry. The only one with a pretty girlfriend.
Emma: You knock him out, I'll grab his legs, we can drop him into the lake...

The group's patrols turn up nothing of real interest, Escher works his way through the Magdalen copies of the stolen books, the rugby gits fling snow at all and sundry, Rosalind swans around with her entourage, Ginny looks wistfully at an oblivious Ziggy, and so on. Eventually, inevitably, the weekend approaches and the In Camera lectures loom. Looking over the programme, they groan.

Andy: Half an hour for lunch?
Escher: Well, at least most of you can safely avoid the lecture about family curses and demonic progeniture.
Andy: Most?
Milli: The one about current prophecy lasts three hours. Does it have to be three hours?
Emma: Ohhh, yes. We'll be lucky if it doesn't run over.
Milli: And "Acts of the Council" is two hours.
Jake: And what's this one about demonic parentage anyway?
Andy: ... That's my family doctor.

Everyone looks at Andy as we CUT!

(edit: Magdalen. Not Magdalene.)

[Craig Oxbrow]

The group's hired van pulls up at the Sheldonian Theatre (http://www.sheldon.ox.ac.uk/), the scenic location for the In Camera lectures.
William takes notes and tries not to yawn. Milli passes out, having driven, after making sure her parents aren't waiting to pounce. Ziggy drinks from a hip flask and tries to explain what she missed when she wakes up again.

Ziggy: There was this guy, talking to this other guy. Oh, but he was older...
Milli: It's the way you tell 'em. You should be up there on stage debating. Instead of talking to me.

Emma and Jake, meanwhile, are given forms to fill in and sign in triplicate. Jake in particular is tested with Zener cards (http://skepdic.com/zener.html) and the results are inconclusive.

Jake: It doesn't come on demand. It's not like I have a tap in my head and I can just turn it on.
Travers: Hmm.
Jake: I mean, it would be great if I had more control. Can you help with that?
Travers: Hmm...

Everyone else (except, notably, Jack) is asked for a "quiet chat" as well.

Milli is more looked at than talked to. She kindly obliges by giving the group a good look at all her earrings.

Sir Charles Hunton-Smythe (Ian Richardson (http://www.tvheaven.ca/nowir.jpg)): One thing we wanted to ask you. There was a fragmentary report of a Rashkakh demon?
Milli: Ah, that turned out to be the Kejalda. I have this blind spot for demon names.
Sir Charles: They are both green under certain light, I suppose...

Ziggy is questioned thoroughly about his background, all behind closed doors of course.

Andy is asked about his levels of control... and tries to suppress a growl in his voice as his stress rises...

Ziggy: Are you alright?
Andy: Oh, no problem, just a bunch of stuffy old men who could have me killed.
Ziggy: Oh, you're alright. I'll protect you.

And William comes out after a minute, smiling placidly.

Sir Charles: So, studies going well?
William: Yes, it's going very well.
Sir Charles: Excellent. Nothing too risky with the fieldwork I trust?
William: No, nothing so far.
Sir Charles: Jolly good.

The group compare their experiences.

Milli: Of course they like William. William's just a likeable guy.
Emma: Not a hint of nepotism.
Ziggy: He doesn't talk back.
William: That too.
Milli: So they didn't call you in?
Jack: Nope.
Milli: They called Ziggy in, for God's sake.
Jack: Well, he's a junior Watcher. And Emma's a witch, and Jake's a weirdo.
Emma: I'm not a witch!
Jake: I am a weirdo though.
Jack: Anyway, what's it matter? They're old, and nobody pays attention to old people.
Ziggy: That's the kind of forward thinking that'll see you through life.

Escher arrives, Wesley trailing behind him, before the argument degenerates into fisticuffs.

Escher: I've checked the Magdalen copies of the missing books. I can confirm that the Discourses are, for one thing, spectacularly dull and, for another, they concern an event that is apparently already coming true. Now, the text on leylines examines and discusses the history of their use rather than being a guide. But, it has a bibliography for that kind of thing, and could lead to a number of texts which could be used practically. Several of these books are now long since lost, but a few are in the Magdalen and King's libraries, a few more in the London headquarters collection...

Wesley: And copies of two of them are in the hands of an Oxfordshire private collector called Robert Dexter. A former tutor in history and comparative religions, a known expert on the subject who has never been brought into the fold, as it were. Good morning. Wesley Wyndham-Pryce.

Jake: So, what, he's a suspect, or a target?
Escher: Well, that's for you to determine.
Milli: Not us to determine?
Escher: I have a meeting with my opposite number, the Invigilator for Magdalen.
Wesley: Ah, dear aunt Prudence.
Escher: Mr. Travers suggested Mr. Wyndham-Pryce accompany you. An outside observer of your fieldwork. (quietly to Milli) Look after him.
Milli: You give me all the hard jobs...

Jack: So, what's the plan? Get the books and leave them out somewhere obvious so we can trap the thief?
Jake: Yeah, and then pull of his mask and find out it was the janitor all along.

Ziggy empties his flask and fishes out a bottle of Jack Daniel's on the way. Milli suggests he cut it out.

Milli: I don't want anyone drinking, ah, on duty.
Jack: So, are you a prude Milli?
Milli: Whaaaaat? Don't make me kick your arse.
Jack: You could loosen up.
Ziggy: A piece of advice. Don't listen to his advice. Or mine.
Milli: Give it here. You'll get it back when we're done. Promise.

In the other car, Jake discusses the Watcher First Class they're accompanying.

Jake: Wesley. Not a name that inspires confidence.
Emma: Like Wesley Crusher.
Jake: Yeah, Wes Crusher was so... right there.
Andy: He was only cool because his mum was hot.

And so, our heroes arrive at Mr. Dexter's impressive country house to find, oh bugger, a For Sale sign.

Wesley: Well, ah, well, we should, well, ah, well. Ah, we should see about making ingress somehow. Well. Maybe, ah, call the estate agents, hm? Well?

After determining that the front door is locked, Jake volunteers to go check the back door, with a nod to Milli to keep Wesley busy. And sure enough, a moment and a Crime roll later, he opens the front door from the inside.

Jake: It opened.
Wesley: That was lucky!
Emma: Yes... lucky. Lucky us.
Jake: Anyway, everything's still here but covered by sheets.
Wesley: To the library, then.

And so our heroes prod around the deserted house. They quickly determine that everything is here except the books. Which is impressive, because as well as the library, there are bookshelves in the sitting room, the study, three of the five bedrooms and the hall... and, as they soon find, the basement.

Milli: Maybe we should check for a safe... or secret passages!
Wesley: Secret passages?
Milli: Yeah! An old house like this, a secretive owner, there'll at least be a hidden safe.
Wesley: And how are we supposed to find it, if it even exists, hm? I mean, the whole idea is quite absuUUUUAAAH!

Wesley leans against the wall behind the empty wine rack and it rotates behind him.

Milli: Well done!
Wesley: Yes, yes, thank you very much.
Milli: Did you find anything?
Wesley: Actually, yes.

Looking in, the group find a hidden safe and another bookshelf, this one full of rare volumes... with one noticeable gap, labelled "Leys".

Jake: Any footprints?
Emma: Just Wesley's assprint.
Jake: Oh yeah. Watcher First Class.

Wesley turns around to look for any other clues, and blanches. Everyone turns, rather reluctantly, as a trapdoor opens next to the wine rack and a grey-haired vampire in a smoking jacket crawls out, snarling.

Wesley: Mister Dexter!
Jake: Has he always been a vampire?
Wesley: Not since, ah, we last checked...
Milli: Which was when?
Wesley: September? Of 1997...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

At the Magdalen library, Escher and his opposite number Prudence Pryce (Prunella Scales (http://www.arcos.org.uk/gfx/photo_fame_p_scales.jpg)) compare notes over a fresh pot of tea:

Escher: Do you think they'll be alright with Wesley?
Pru: He's not such a bad sort, really.

Meanwhile, Wesley pulls out a cross and Dexter backs off, growling.

Milli: Do you have anything else?
Wesley: Ah, I think I have a stake, and holy water... In the car.
Milli: Honestly!

And with that battle cry, she rolls her eyes and charges into action. Dexter lurches to the side and gets a staked nipple instead of a heart. Everyone winces. Wesley averts his eyes. Jack body slams Dexter and gets knocked fifteen feet into a wine rack for his trouble. Emma grabs a book from the shelf to throw. Jake sweep kicks Dexter and Milli punches him when he's down.

Pru: And Millicent, how's she?
Escher: She's doing very well in several areas. She's definitely our strongest combatant.

Milli stakes Dexter clean through the heart and he explodes in a shower of dust.

Pru: What is with the hair?
Escher: You've met her parents, haven't you?
Pru: Ah.

Ziggy wanders in from upstairs as Wesley coughs and cleans the vampire dust off his glasses.

Ziggy: You guys find anything?
Emma: Oh, not much...

The group discusses the practicalities of going into an unlit cellar of unknown size which a vampire was using as a lair when nobody brought a torch. Milli solves this problem by lighting up the bottle of whiskey and climbing down. She soon pops back up with a shrug, and Jake follows her lead.

Emma: Okay, I like that you're brave, but I also like you being around to help me up here...
Wesley: Don't worry miss, we're on the case.
Emma: Oh God...

Milli finds a stack of books in the lair. Looking for leylines, she finds instead that Dexter was reading up on vampirism. Jake, meanwhile, searches through Dexter's wallet and finds a business card for Fortnum and Cartwright, Antiquarian Booksellers.

Wesley: Ah, yes. Local firm, they'd take an interest in a collection of this quality, he probably dealt with them, ah, before.

Milli returns the blackened and empty bottle to Ziggy. And so off we drive to Fortnum and Cartwright (established 1871). The door chime rings briefly and then makes a clunking noise, but this is enough to call out Mr. Cartwright, a slight and balding man.

Cartwright: Ah, good afternoon. Can I be of some assistance?

Wesley looks around for someone else to take the lead, so Milli prods him to do the talking.

Wesley: Ah, yes, we were just at the Dexter estate and we heard that you had acquired the collection.
Cartwright: Yes. We were called in by the estate agents, Taylor and Tyler.
William (quietly): Do estate agents actually deal with, well, estates?
Milli (quietly): I dunno, I guess so. Maybe they're lawyers too.

Ziggy squints at a few of the titles, and lifts one off the shelf.

Ziggy: How much is this?
Cartwright? Oh, that's three hundred, sir.
Ziggy: I'll think about it.

He puts it back quickly as Jack tries to look.

Jack: What is it, Victorian porn?

Wesley: Ahem. Anyway, we were interested in some rare volumes from the collection.
Cartwright: Ah, we haven't had a chance to divide the collection yet. It's available complete for two thousand.
Wesley: We'll, ah, get back to you.

And so they retreat to discuss... and as they do, Jake mentally "overhears" a phone conversation.

Cartwright: Yes sir, they were just here. The people you described. Yes, they just left. No, I told them nothing. No, sir. Right, sir.

And so they come back in.

Milli: Yes, I was wondering, could we take a look at the collection, see if the volumes we're especially interested in are still there.
Cartwright: Ah, of course. This way.

Ziggy hangs back to look at the book that caught his eye, Jake slips away to look at the phone.

Jake: Typical, phone's bloody ancient, no redial button... no buttons...

Cartwright leads the rest of the group into a back room.

Milli: Now, we're particularly interested in his collection on leylines, would you know about them? I'm a bit of a dowser myself.
Jack: Yes, she douses our fun regularly.
Cartwright: Ah yes, they're over here...

He points to a corner of the back wall and, as they all look that way, he locks the door behind them and heads for the exit...

Wesley: Ah, hello? You've, ah, shut the door...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Jack gets a run up and barges into the door, bouncing off with a pained grunt. Meanwhile, Milli calls Ziggy, and the phone ringing alerts Cartwright, who makes a run for it. Jake rushes out and tackles him, grabbing his sleeve. Ziggy comes in from the other side, jostling them both, and the bookseller shrugs off his jacket and bolts for the door.

Escher: Chetwynd-Talbot, how's he doing?
Pru: Oh... he manifested the family curse over Christmas. Terrible thing, the boys are barely talking to each other now.
Escher: Hmm. Hardly his fault. At least his second cousin can control the change.
Pru: Oh, yes, how is he?
Escher: Anti-social, really...

Andy charges the door, growling in a most offputting way, then bounces off it. Jack shoves him aside, slams into the door again, takes two steps back, and charges again...

Wesley: So, which book did he point out?
Milli: The one that would get us trapped in the room.
Jack: Oh yes. Good book, has a bit of a twist ending...

Ziggy tackles Cartwright and Jake pins him as Zig's phone finally rings off.

Then as Ziggy keeps him in place, Jake heads over to release the others.

One, two, WHAM. One, two, WHAM. One, two... Jake opens the door and Jack sails past, landing face first.

Ziggy drags Cartwright to his feet as Milli suggests a stratagem. Milli snarls at Cartwright threateningly, and Emma and Jack hold her back.

Milli: Okay, weasel, you'd better tell us what we want to know!
Jake: Why did you lock our friends in?
Jack: You missed a perfect opportunity to say "our friends, and Jack"...
Jake: I was making the appearance of a concerted front...
Milli: Talk!

Cartwright: I hardly know anything! I just know that Mister Smith wanted to know if anyone, including a girl with pink hair and boy with piercings and such, wanted to know about the collection. Not this one, though. (pointing at Wesley)
Milli: I don't think we're gonna keep him.
Wesley: Mister Smith, you say?
Cartwright: Well, of course that isn't his real name, is it ever? But he did give me a contACK!

He gurgles and slumps forward, since he has been stabbed in the back. While he has his back to a wall.

(The fact that I can get away with this, having entirely forgotten about his back being to the wall, is just one of the things I love about the Buffyverse.)

Wesley blanches as a spindly, chitinous greenish arm emerges from a "watery" haze in the stone and plaster wall, grasping a thin-bladed sword.

Cartwright breathes his last with a shocked Milli cradling his head to hear his dying words.

Milli: What, what are you trying to say?
Cartwright: I should have... let the cat out...

Jake moves to grab the sword, Jack grabs the arm, and in the confusion the sword goes flying, and Jake is now face to face with...

Milli: A Rashnakh Demon!
Wesley: Ah... well spotted!

Wesley hides behind his cross to no apparent effect, as Jack gets elbowed in the face and crashes into a bookshelf. Milli kicks the Rashnakh in the unprotected ear membrane, and it howls in pain.

Wesley: Now, ah, how do you kill a Rashnakh? Come on...
William: Right, you have to stab it in the ears and the...
Wesley: Eyes!
Jake: Thanks for the input there!
Milli: Best and brightest, huh?
Wesley: Ahh, but you have to do it quickly, or it will start to regenerate. See, it's already... oh God, that's disgusting...

Jack runs off to get a pair of scissors from the desk.

Jake brings the sword down on its head. It bounces off its natural armour with a spark. Milli attempts to hold the thing so that Jake can run it through and Jack can stab it in the eyes with scissors. Milli gets flung aside, rolling with the throw but still landing badly. Wesley moves to help her up, and the Rashnakh smacks him upside the head with its other hand. Emma throws a book at its head. It snaps its head around... and Jake jams the sword between its ears.

Rashnakh: Reeeeeee-

It slumps forwards, onto the scissors, and then collapses into a foul-smelling ichor that eats a hole in the carpet.

Jack: Euuugh...
Wesley: Ah, uh, you all did very well. Very good show. Glowing report. Ow.

As everyone gets up, Jake looks at the sword, frowning intensely.

Pru: They get into quite a few scrapes, of course, especially since Tom found that magical sword.
Escher: A magic sword?
Pru: I know, but what can you do? He is American.
Escher: Ahhh.

Jake stares at the sword and, as he does, he gets a glimpse of the Rashnakh stepping through a portal in mid-air, observed by the distinguished man and the dark-haired girl. He focuses on the room (it's dark and basementy) and the occult sigils on the floor. And not on the girl, even though she's wearing a really short dress.

Wesley: Mm, yes. A portal of some kind, range... no more than a hundred miles.
Jake: So that could be in Cambridge.
Wesley: Or London.
Emma: So, that's narrowed it down to an area twelve million people live in.
Milli: Why are you grinning?
Jake: Huh? Oh, uh, because we have a clue.
Milli: Riiiight.

Wesley: Right, I'll have a sketch artist draw up a picture from your description, and I'll have someone clear up the, ah, body... Oh God, excuse me.

Wesley covers his mouth and races for the door. And on the way out, Jack asks Ziggy:

Jack: You still want that book?
Ziggy: Nah.

As he hefts his bag and rechecks that he closed it properly...

Nobody recognises the people illustrated, until Sir Charles Hunton-Smythe, the Watchers' most studied chronicler, narrows his eyes slightly.

Sir Charles: Ah. Damn.

To be continued!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Next time, on The Watch House:

The Watch charging across a darkened field.

A dozen vampires charging to meet them, snarling.

Milli parrying a swinging sword.

The dark-haired girl resting a hand on Jake's chest with a smile.

William flicking desperately through a book, muttering "where is it, where is it..."

Ziggy ducking.

Emma gasping in shock.

Andy clutching is head, teeth gritted, and opening his glowing yellow eyes.

Jack kicking in the door of a manor house.

Escher pointedly loading a crossbow.

The distinguished man screaming "I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"

A massive bolt of lightning striking a standing stone.

Escher V/O: The season concludes with The Watchtower. Sunday at six.


Actual Play bit:

Early Useless Wesley Is Teh Most Fun NPC EVAR. Every game should have Early Useless Wesley.

Organising things so that the action comes earlier than at the climax leads to actual action scenes. These still only take a very few minutes, which is cool.

The high wonkiness of my pacing is such that everything after the first chat with Mr. Cartwright was carried on in the pub after the games society closed...

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by SteveD
I don't know if your pacing is problematic so much as different. Your show seems to be differently structured to Buffy, and to TNW. You have much looser plots. The MOTW doesn't show up till halfway typically, and is usually pretty easy to defeat.

Generally because, by the time I get sufficiently motivated to do more than sit back and occasionally contribute to teh funnay, I don't actually have time for a proper rulesy action sequence. This week, I changed that up, and this contributed a bit to the extension of the session...

Interesting take on Mr Taylor...I never imagined him ever leaving his office, although I suppose he must occasionally.

Or did I just give myself an idea....
Sorry to Steve's players. ;)

It's the preferential system of the old boy network: he's been dealing with my Big Bads long enough to make that extra effort, and could possibly stretch to calling them "friends". Evil friends, obviously...

[Craig Oxbrow]

Watch House 1.9: A Night Like This

Previously on The Watch House:

Jake describes the subjects of his visions to a sketch artist. Nobody recognises the people illustrated, until Sir Charles Hunton-Smythe narrows his eyes slightly.

Sir Charles: Ah. Oh, damn.

--
Victoria (Fairuza Balk (http://www.fairuza.com/articles/images/Copy_of_Times_1.jpg)) stretches lazily on a chaise-longue, dipping a strawberry into a crystal dish full of cream and swirling it around. She bites into it and leans back with a Cheshire smile, then rolls her eyes with a sigh as her father comes in, followed by a burly guard in a sober suit and a thin, bespectacled man carrying three antique hardback books.

Mason: I tell you, Mister Valdermar, this will only work if we have enough goat blood!
Valdermar: Then get enough, Mason. I employ you to cover these little details so that I do not have to be bothered with them...
Mason: Ah, of course, sir.
Valdermar: Curtis, make sure he gets what he needs.
Curtis: Sir.

Mason scuttles away and Curtis stalks after him. Virginia exaggerates a yawn.

Victoria: All this work just to kill off some Watchers. Honestly, daddy, couldn't we just have hunted them down when they left for Christmas?
Valdermar: Yes, my dear, we could have, but their power base would still be intact. I want to make sure that everyone who survives knows that their order is doomed. While the old men will survive, their children will die, and we will have their collected knowledge.
Victoria: Oh, I suppose... but do they all have to die?... Can I keep one?

Valdermar smiles indulgently.

Victoria: Pleeeease?
Valdermar: Just one, dear...

Sir Charles grimaces as he leafs through a faded photograph album, and compares the illustrations with the images. He removes two photos (Valdermar in old-fashioned clothes (http://members.fortunecity.com/delint/gallery/misc/escape-04.jpg), Victoria with a Louise Brooks bob (http://www.fairuza.com/filmography/shadow_of_a_doubt/images/Shadow_52.jpg)) and shows them to our heroes.

Emma: Well, the first thing I notice is that these are in black and white. And going yellow with age.
Sir Charles: Quite. Matthew Valdermar and his daughter Victoria. Mister Valdermar was one of ours, but they went missing after an operation some time ago... Look on the back.
Milli: 1922.
Sir Charles: While I am not one to be hasty in my suppositions, I think we can reasonably suspect that in addition to having gone over to the other side they are, in some way, no longer human.
Emma: No, really?

CREDITS!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Milli: Not human... Any idea how?
Sir Charles: There are a few possibilities, but our records indicate that the Valdermars were last seen going to investigate rumours suggesting a nest of vampires in Fen Ditton. A routine operation...
Milli: Could we get an address for that? And their last known address?
Sir Charles: It was over seventy-five years ago, Miss Blackhurst.
Milli: It's somewhere to start.

She looks over at Jake, who nods slightly.

Leaving Jack and his broken collarbone in an Oxford hospital, but taking his new BMW, the group return to Cambridge. Shortly after lunchtime, they arrive in front of the Valdermar family's last known address. It was part of a post-war suburban estate, probably new when they moved in. And a few streets outside the Shield, for those keeping track.

Milli: What, no dark gothic mansion?
William: You know, other people may be living here.
Milli: Oh. Good point...

Andy squints at the curtains, making sure they aren't thick and velvety. Everyone else wonders why he's so interested in curtains. Meanwhile Jake sneaks around the back, and confirms that the place is indeed occupied.

Jake: The bin's half full.
Milli: So we know there are people here, and that they're optimistic!

Knocking on the door, they meet the new occupant, a Mrs. Green. Milli's powers of bluff desert her.

Milli: Er, um, we...
Jake: ... are history students, and we're doing a project on the history of the local area.
Milli: Erm, history, yes.

Mrs. Green confirms that she owns the house (well, apart from the mortgage) and bought it eleven years ago "from the Thompsons, or possibly Timsons, I can never remember..." the basement's pretty much a crawlspace, the Council dug up the street three years ago, and they added a conservatory recently.

Milli: That's very nice. Oh, and your curtains are lovely.
Mrs. Green: Why, thank you.
Andy: Were they there originally?

Bidding the amiable owner goodbye, Jake slaps Andy on the back of the head. As they head back to the car, he puts a hand on the wall... and the sky goes dark above him. Then his mind's eye swoops through the house to the master bedroom... a yellowish gas light starts up, and he sees two figures on the bed. Victoria in a torn flapper dress hunched over an older woman... her mother? Then Valdermar rushes in, right past him. "Eleanor?... Victoria?!" he gasps in shock as his daughter looks up and snarls, golden eyes blazing, her face slick with dark blood from her mother's ruined neck. "Oh God... no..." her father stammers as she pounces on him, shrieking...

Jake shivers and stumbles away.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Milli: Are you okay?
Jake: Y-yeah.
Ziggy: LSD flashback.
Jake: They're vampires, guys.
Milli: Well, not really a surprise.
William: But good to know, so it won't be murder when we kill them.
Ziggy: And that's the important part!


They discuss their next step. To the Fen Ditton farm or not?

Milli: We should check it.
Emma: While it's daylight.
Milli: How long till dark?
Emma: A couple hours.
Jake: Drive fast.
Andy: So you can tell if they're there?
Jake: No, it just sorta comes and goes.
Andy: Well, I don't know the depth of your psycho-psycha-power thingy...
Jake: I just have visions and sometimes I see things when I hold stuff.
Milli: I think it's part of growing up. Happens to every boy.

The group pile into Jack's brand-new Beemer.

Emma: Will Jack not mind us driving around in his car?
Ziggy: You're good friends with Jack, sure he wouldn't mind.
William: You're not good friends with him, and I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

They make for the farm, going cross-country and spattering Jack's car with dirt. Ziggy also looks through the car's CD collection, and disparages them viciously. Then the group start flinging CDs out of the window...

Andy: Oh No! We Were Burgled! (fling)
Ziggy: Humperdinck?
Emma: Humperdinck!
Ziggy: What are... steps?
William: We could tell you, but then you'd have to kill yourself...

The farm proves to now be a few outlines of stone in a field, since the larger farm next door bought it out. Finding a partially collapsed cellar, Jake and Milli take torches in hand and drop down. Emma hangs back at the car, keeping watch. Once he's sure it's safe, Ziggy climbs down a rope. They look for bones on the floor, occult imagery on the walls... and find old furniture. But then, as Jake turns over a chair... a vampire in a ragged coat smirks as Victoria steps down the ladder which has long since rotted away.

Vampire: So, did you enjoy the taste of your parents' blood? I imagine it was rather... dry.
Victoria: Quite sweet actually.

She smiles as her father drops down and unloads a crossbow into her sire. The vampire manages to gasp "you little ingrate..." as he explodes. Valdermar looks over the cellar with a sneer as its occupant joins the collected dust.

Valdermar: Who could live in such squalor?
Victoria: Well, not me for one.
Valdermar: Indeed. From now on, only the best for my little girl.

Ziggy and Milli look quizzically at Jake.

Ziggy: So, you like the chair...
Jake: I had another vision. They killed her sire, they planned to go live in luxury.
Ziggy: Oh yeah? What did the chick wear?
Milli: I have a feeling you're not taking this threat seriously enough.
Jake: Vampire, but yeah, hot chick...
Ziggy: We may have to fight her, but we can appreciate her hotness.
Milli: And I'll be waiting with a crossbow when she bites you.
Ziggy: She won't bite me.
Milli: Probably just kill you, yeah.
Ziggy: No, because I won't be there.
Jake: Why not?
Ziggy: You British people make no sense.
Milli: Yes, that's right, it's the rest of the world that's crazy...
Ziggy: See, now you're getting it.

Milli heads up to the surface...

Milli: Maybe you should let the rope drop, give them some time to think about what they did.
Emma: What did they do?
Milli: I'd tell you, but then you'd want to kill them. Or at least him.

CUT!

--
(And now, in the commercial break, a true secret from behind the GM's screen)

Craig offers some Smarties.

Craig: Smarties?
Jamie: Noooo, Smarties are evil. Evil sweets.
Joe: Even the orange ones that taste different?
Cat: Didn't we have this exact conversation last week?
Craig: Yes, and that's why I brought them again.
Cat: Ahhhhh. "I have no plot, but if I bring Smarties they'll talk about them for ten minutes!"
Craig: Damn! Rumbled!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Our heroes drive back before it gets dark.

Andy: Chris De Burgh? (He moves to throw it out)
Jake: No no, allow me. (He flicks on the car's cigarette lighter)
Milli: The best sound to ever come out of that will be the crackling of it on fire... Guh. This car is Jack's major babe magnet pulling wagon thing...
Jake: And you're in the back seat.
Milli: GNAAAAH!

Milli climbs through to the front, sandwiching herself between William driving and Ziggy riding shotgun for the entire ride back to King's. There, they discuss matters arising with Escher.

Jake: Well, we know that they're vampires.
Ziggy: Which we kinda suspected.
Jake: And that they don't live at their old house anymore. Maybe try the property office?
Milli: Like they'd buy things under their own name.
Jake: Well, it's a very uncommon name, won't take too long to look.
Ziggy: Good for you. I'll make sure the pub is safe.
Andy: Good plan.

William hits the books to find out a bit more about the Valdermars while Jake, Emma and Milli head to the records office and Ziggy and Andy go on their vital mission...

On arrival, they find that the Brody is mired in a pall of gloom. Blur's To The End reaches "Well it looks like we mighta made it, yes it looks like we made it to the end..." as they enter. Ziggy picks up on the vibe, which says a lot. He inquires about the dour mood with the nearby Kelvin.

Ziggy: Do you feel like the end is coming?
Kelvin: Well, I could have revised more, looked at the past papers...

While Ziggy makes a panicked call to ask for an extension, William surfs the web for the Valdermars. "Hot vampire girl" gets a lot more hits... Jake and Emma, meanwhile, sit very close and lean over each other casually as they find records...

Milli: Oh God, I'm the research gooseberry.

... suggesting that the Valdermars sold up and the "Valmont" family bought a farm manor in 1922, which was found abandoned when the government bought the land in 1940.

As Ziggy and Andy have a quiet drink in what feels like a wake, the others convene.

Ziggy: The pub is secure.
Andy: Very secure.
William: I'm going to see if Charlotte's in.
Emma: Good idea.
Milli: Yeah, bring her along!
William: I'll... see...
Milli (as William goes): He didn't seem keen.
Ziggy: Wow. You're even more antisocial than I am.
Milli: Me? He's being antisocial.
Ziggy: Well, I have my theory, but it's all about Chickworld.
Jake, Milli and Emma: "Chickworld"?
Andy: Huh? What?
Ziggy: I mean, Jake, you're in a band, yet you have one steady girl. You're being like a chick. You want to live in Chickworld?
Emma: ... I feel like I'm learning so much.
Milli: That it's good to be single? But you got the good one...

Jake buries his head in his hands and assumes on his best "I'm not with him" stance. Then, before Milli, Emma, Tessa and Rachel (http://www.scarygoround.com/?date=20020604) at the bar, and all the other women in the pub descend on Ziggy, someone leans in with a cigarette.

Victoria: Can I get a light?
Milli: Sure, here you... (sees who it is) go...
Victoria: Thanks. Sweet of you. So, what are we talking about?
(Milli fumbles for a weapon)
Victoria: Oh, please. What are you going to do here, in public? Hm? Nothing. Now, I just wanted to come and say hello. And that you're doing ever so well. But, well, really, your efforts are going to come to nothing. It's sad, really. (smirk) So, if you feel like not dying, you should get out of town. Whatcha say? Hm?
Jake: Uh...
Milli: I'm going to bloody kill you, you bitch.
Victoria: Well, really. I mean, sure, good, evil, but here I am trying to help you. How evil is that? Hm? Oh well. You can't say I didn't offer. Honestly, some people!

And she flounces off to the ladies' room. And when Milli rushes over to look in it's empty...

And she steps out of thin air in the carpark across the street, getting into the back of a Mercedes next to her father, giggling wickedly.

Victoria: Oh, you should have seen the looks on their faces. It was priceless!
Valdermar: Hmm. You didn't manage to convince any of them, did you?
Victoria: Probably not, but they all looked pretty rattled.
Valdermar: Good girl.
Valdermar: Have you decided which one you want yet?
Victoria: Ohhh! There's two and they're both so pretty... I mean, he's got those big pretty eyes that can see the future and the past... but she's all cool with the fighting and the rings in funny places... Can I keep them both? Can I?
Valdermar: I said one and I meant it, dear.
Victoria: Oh, but faaaaather... It's not like I can't just kill them if we don't get on.
Valdermar: Oh, alright. But no more.
Victoria: Thank you! You're so sweet... I knew I sired you for a reason.

They watch the group depart soon after, obviously not feeling much like talking any more.

We drift over the lightless countryside, under a cold spring moon, towards a manor house in the hills. We circle around it. Then Victoria smiles softly down at Jake as he settles into bed, unbuttoning his shirt and resting a hand on his chest. Then her head tips back and we see blazing yellow eyes and glittering white fangs, before they dive towards his throat.

Jake wakes with a start, shivering...

TO BE CONTINUED!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Watch House 1.10: The Watchtower

Jake turns up at Escher's office before he's even made his first cup of tea.

Escher: Are you alright? You look awful.
Jake: I, uh, couldn't sleep. Had another vision. They seem to be coming faster. And this one... they've been the past or the present, or maybe just a little bit in the future. But this one... (shudders)
Escher: What did you see?

Flash cuts to the house flyover, and Victoria vamping out and biting him, as he describes it, while drawing a rough sketch of the house.

Escher: Hmm. Well, if nothing else you got a good view of the house. And it does sound familiar.
Jake: There was a name too. Aghk, I'd know it if I saw it.
Milli: Saw what?... Are you okay?

Enter Milli, having been off typing up an essay to actually get it in on time.

Jake: A name for this place.
Milli: This looks familiar... from when we went to check on the standing stones. Mister Escher? Have you got the map?

As the others arrive, they look over the four standing stones outside of the city limits.

Escher: Wilbraham, Harcamlow, Silbury -
Jake: That's it. Silbury Hall.
Milli: Right.

And Milli heads over to the weapons locker.

CREDITS!

Escher: I think that scouting by daylight would be advised.
Milli: Right. Scouting. (stuffs a pair of short stakes into a pocket of her combats)
Escher: Scouting until we can determine what they actually plan to do.
Milli: Scouting, charging through the front door. Same thing. Maybe I should get my leather jacket... There may be only two of them.
Escher: And they're both about a hundred years old.
Milli: Stakes, holy water, crossbows... Emma? Have you ever found, like, a freeze spell?
Emma: None that don't involve touching the target. Which I, uh, don't want to try...
Milli: Right, we want ranged attacks first. What about that teleporting thing?
Emma: Might be able to block that, actually.
Milli: Good.
Ziggy's Game Boy: CLANG!
Emma: Yiii!
Ziggy: I score!
Milli: Well, you won't be scoring any other way.
Escher: Hmm. Well, anyway, if we have to go overland, neither of the cars we have is suitable. I'll call the groundsman about borrowing a four-wheel-drive.

Milli heads off to change out of her general everyday asskicking boots into her special occasion asskicking boots. When she gets back, the groundsman's Land Rover is waiting, and so is Emma, looking nervous.

Emma: I, um, I don't if I can really help.
Milli: Why not?
Emma: I just... I'm scared, okay? I'm really scared. I mean, if you guys are relying on me, and I screw up...
Milli: We can take care of ourselves. Jake's tough and fast, I'm not so bad... it's just, if you can help with the magic, that's an added bonus.
Emma: Okay. Hey, thanks. You're a good friend.
Milli: ... I. Um... Okay.

Milli nods slightly, bites her lip and carries on, managing to hide her furrowed brow and moistening eyes.

Jake: You guys ready? (to Emma) You coming?
Emma (smiles at Milli): Yeah.
Escher: Now, I want you back inside two hours. Any problems, call right away.

Escher returns to urgently flicking through his books. Ziggy returns to tapping his Game Boy.

Ziggy: Yeah, and you have a good time.
Milli: You're not coming?
Ziggy: What am I, an idiot?
Milli: If you don't come I am so going to kick your ass. This is an all hands on deck situation.
Jake: C'mon, you can kill them with our razor wit.
Milli: Okay, so he is defenceless...
Ziggy: Scouting. Powerful old vampire. Powerful hot vampire. Demons. Magic rituals. I'm not going.
Milli: If we go in and we find vampires we kill them... Are you okay?
Jake (ashen-faced): I'm fine.
Milli: I'm just on a big thing because I seem to be the only person going.
Ziggy: If you want to go out in a blaze of glory, go ahead.
Andy: I cannot let a poor defenceless girl go by herself.

Everyone looks at Andy. Milli actually smiles.

Emma: Well, I'm going too.
Milli: You don't have to. I mean, Ziggy isn't, there's still research to do.
Emma: I'm coming.
Milli: Okay. Um, good to have you.

And off they head, leaving Ziggy to sit by himself as Escher researches the rituals for empowering leylines.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Open on the group in the four-wheel-drive, looking over at the standing stone and down at Silbury Hall. Jake looks white as a sheet. His hands tremble. Emma takes them in hers, and her shivers just about cancel his out.

Looks like all the curtains are drawn. Two outbuildings... a garage and maybe a generator hut.

Milli: I didn't bring anyone here... Sorry if I dragged you to certain death. So, are we taking a closer look?
Emma: Yeah.

And nobody gets out of the truck.

Cut back to Escher reading, taking off his glasses and massaging the bridge of his nose, replacing his glasses...

Milli: Okay, let's just go.

A slight pause, and then Milli opens her door and gets out. The rest follow.

Sneaking up (despite the clank of bagfuls of weapons and holy water...) they confirm that the outbuildings are indeed a garage - Milli slashes the tyres - and a generator hut.

Milli: Should we take the electricity out?
Emma: And maybe plunge a house full of vampires into darkness before we go in there.
Milli: Or not.

They head over to the front door, and confirm that, yes, it's locked. They head around the sides, glancing through windows.

Andy: Thick curtains. Probably velvet.
Jake: What is it with you and curtains?
Milli: Anyway, do you know a way in?
Jake: I didn't see one.

Milli glances at Jake.

Milli: How did you know about this?
Jake: A vision... more like a nightmare.
Milli: I seem to be missing something. You don't normally look so freaked out.
Jake: Um, yeah.
Milli: Did you see any of the inside?
Jake: ... Some.
Milli: See any of the layout?
Jake: No... Maybe we can get in upstairs.
Emma: There was a ladder in the garage.
Milli: Let's just try this back door here.

Jake leans in to try and pick the lock... hands trembling. He curses silently when it actually opens...

Inside, they find a kitchen. William pulls a hatchet out of his bag, hefting it in both hands. Milli presses on. Then she pauses at the door as, up ahead, they can hear a rhythmic beat and a hint of brass playing.

Milli: What's that?
Jake: Well, it ain't the Charleston. It's... Portishead.
Milli: Oh no.
(Cat: They're the band that scares me most in the world.)

Milli: Just keep an eye on Jake. He's got a personal thing here.
Emma: I know, he's not normally as scared as me.
Milli: I don't think that's it. He's not just scared, he's freaking.

Victoria reels around the ballroom, hands spiralling in the air, feet stomping on the dancefloor, singing along "Make no mistake, you shan't escape, tethered and tied, there's nowhere to hide from me... so don't resist... we shall exist... until the day, until the day I die... all miiiiiine!"

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Our heroes advance warily as the music fades out. They just miss Valdermar's hulking lieutenant Curtis patrolling, idly swinging a sword...

Milli: This is really brave of you.
Jake: I'm used to bad dreams.

Behind the door next to the ballroom, they can hear murmured conversation. Through the door, Victoria sits by a makeup mirror, smoking as a young woman polishes her fingernails.

Victoria: I swear, daddy doesn't understand me at all. Why on Earth do I want to come to Mason's silly old ritual anyway? It'll just be a bit of lightning and an exploding lump of rock. I mean, come on! We could be taking our amulets and lying in wait to kill the little Watchers, but nooooo, he says I have to attend. Still, he did buy me a new coat for it, so I really shouldn't grumble. Are you done? Now do my eyes.

She leans forward, and empty chairs swivel in the mirror where she and her stylist should be sitting...

At this point, Milli leads the charge into the makeup room. Victoria snarls.

Milli: If you're human, get down!

The girl doesn't get down. In fact, Victoria picks her up and hurls her at the group. The girl growls and gamefaces as Milli turns, rolls with the impact and tosses her into William axe-first. Victoria bolts away at superhuman speed, crossing the ballroom and screaming:

Victoria: Daddy! Let the dogs out!

As the group stumble away from the monstrous makeup girl, William tugs at his axe, stuck in her collar bone.

Milli: Holy water?
Emma: Good call!

Emma smashes the bottle on the cosmetician's skull, and her head starts to dissolve. Amazingly, nobody thinks of making a moisturiser joke.

Victoria: You killed my makeup girl! You utter cow!

Jake sprints after Victoria, Milli charges after Jake... they both pause as heavy footsteps thunder up to the door outside and the plaster in the ceiling cracks... then the door crashes open as three Rashnakh Demons burst through, charging on all fours. William finally recovers his axe as the cosmetician explodes. He and Emma dive behind the door as Andy runs forwards to meet the Rashnakhs, eyes glowing and teeth bared - and gets tossed aside as if hit by a car.

More plaster rains down as Victoria tries to slam the door while Andy crashes into a bookshelf. Jake and Milli fumble with their crossbows.

Jake: Eyes and ears, right?
Milli: Right...

And behind them, Andy suddenly rears up, howling and snarling, and bounds across the ballroom to meet the demons' charge. The two sides crash into each other, and were-Andy propels two of them into the back wall while the third ducks to the side - into the path of a crossbow bolt to the ear. More plaster rains down. Victoria stares in abject disbelief.

Curtis storms downstairs and growls "Humans!" to Valdermar. He nods slightly, and starts to draw in the air, which thickens with transparent "smoke" trails spreading from the symbols he draws...

Andy smashes a puny demon head, another tumbles away, big chunks of plaster start to fall as Andy hits the first through the wall, the third tries to tackle him and slams him into the floor, he tears the second's head off and then smashes the third's eyes out.

Andy reverts, clothes ragged and covered in Rashnakh goop, as Jake and Milli turn back to charge Victoria's position... just as she looks up and gasps, when the roof above her caves in. A beam smashes through the door and dust covers the ballroom. The cracks in its ceiling start to spread rather rapidly...

Emma: Guys? The roof is collapsing! Like now!

Andy, William and Emma run out through the kitchen. Jake grabs Milli and jumps through the window, taking a velvet curtain with them. They roll across the lawn in each other's arms, stopping with her on top. She looks stunned, eyes wide, then realises where she is, goes red, and scoots out of his arms double-time...

Emma helps Jake up, and looks at Milli, who suddenly finds her boots fascinating.

Emma: So, scouting, huh?
Then Escher calls.

Escher: I have confirmed that a ritual of this kind would be most likely at the night of the new moon. We're on our way?
Milli: Uh... right. We kinda just demolished the house.

Escher: So, are you coming?
Ziggy: I guess I better, huh?
Escher: Quite.

Ziggy irritably follows along as Escher picks up his keys... then sets them down and picks up Jack's.

And as the east wing of Silbury Hall caves in, the group look around... and notice that the standing stone is suddenly right at the centre of a jet black stormcloud in an otherwise clear sky...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Fifteen figures step out of thin air. Curtis leading twelve more vampires carrying swords and chalices, Mason carrying a large, leather bound book, and finally Valdermar, carrying nothing but a scowl and looking by far the most dangerous. The vampires spread out, amulets glowing as they circle the standing stone.

Mason: Now, pour the blood widdershins.
Curtis: No, you idiot, that way.
Mason: Gods below, amateurs...

The BMW whines and groans as it turns off the road onto the track toward Silbury Hall. Meanwhile, the group advance to the shadow of the hill. As the stormcloud crackles with lightning overhead, Valdermar looks up with eyes narrowed and turns to look across at the group as they climb up onto the long, wide hill.

Mason: As the axe strikes the shield in twain, so the thunderbolt shatters the -
Andy: Hey Valdermar! We dropped a house on your daughter! Are you pissed yet?

Before the vampire can answer, Milli and Jake stand and unload crossbows... into Mason. Milli's bolt catches him in the mouth mid-chant as Jake's flies through his heart. The occultist explodes in a shower of dust, book and all.

A massive bolt of lightning arcs down and slams into the stone... and earths itself, crackling harmlessly.

Valdermar: Well. Without Mason's knowledge I cannot complete the ritual and destroy the shield. Ah, me. I suppose I shall just have to settle for KILLING YOU ALL!

And as he roars, Curtis and his twelve supporters throw down their bowls and pick up their swords, charging towards our heroes!

Those with crossbows start firing, and the horde loses two members to Jake and Milli's aim. Valdermar grimaces and starts to weave symbols in the air, which starts to shimmer in front of him...

Andy charges and hulks out as he goes, running on all fours before he's halfway to meeting the advancing vampires. And then a BMW ploughs through the field behind the group and Escher and Ziggy get out. Zig lights a bolt on fire and shoots it into one of the charging monsters, who shrieks but remembers his "duck and roll" training. The second isn't as smart, as his head bursts into flames.

Andy grabs one of them by the legs and swings him around, striking two more with him he flings him away...

Milli's crossbow jams. Escher steps up beside her, holds it until she clears the jam, and nods with the approval of a drill sergeant... but by now they're just about on them. Milli fires the previously jammed bolt at the vampire about to charge her down and it explodes... its sword embedding itself by the point in the ground just in front of her. She grabs it just in time to parry the next vampire's strike!

Valdermar steps around the stone, his portal twisting the air all around it now... The stone seems to flicker in the air...

Ziggy slides over into the driver's seat.

Ziggy: Now, which is forward? Ah!

And he promptly slams into two charging vampires. One dives away, the other goes under the wheels.

William hefts his axe and follows the swathe of destruction left by Andy, as the undead rout before the lycanthropic charge. A vampire leaps in to meet him and he takes his arm off... then with his other arm he brings the pommel of his sword down on his face!

Jake swings the Rashnakh assassin's sword two-handed, stepping to the side to join Milli and Escher, fighting back-to-back with swords of their own.

Escher: Good to see you!
Jake: Glad you could make it!

Then they separate as Andy crashes through the line behind them and they push forwards, past the stone. Escher peels off to the side, duelling with and beheading one of the vampires, and Jake stumbles back as two more pile on him, as another charges Milli, parrying her blows perfectly and jarring the sword out of her hand. Grabbing a crossbow bolt, she tries to ram it into his heart but he brings his arm up, dropping his sword with a roar of rage... then swings at her with the broken bolt sticking out of his arm!

William stumbles back, clutching his head, and the one-armed vampire brings his sword up again...

Two vampires get behind Andy and slash him across the back...

Then Jake pulls out a pair of stakes and jabs one of the two attacking him in the heart. The second rolls away and Jake gives chase!

William brings his axe down on the vampire's foot, then up through his neck as he rears back in pain.

Andy grabs one of the vampires and rips his head clean off, then throws it at the other.

Milli ducks under the vampire's swing, spins, and kicks his arm, sending it and the bolt back into his heart!

Ziggy leans out of the car and bullseyes the fleeing vampire in the back.

Andy grabs his stunned assailant and tears him in two!

Milli recovers her sword and charges again, her wild swings forcing Curtis, the last of them, back. Then he grabs the sword and leers...

Curtis: Nice try, little girl.

And she grabs his amulet and rips it off. He moves thirty feet in a second, his head unfortunately passing through the sword as he goes...

As Curtis disintegrates, the group start to surround Valdermar. He sneers.

Valdermar: You're called the Watchers for a reason, children. Because that's all you're good for. When you try and do something useful, you fail. Like the Watchers failed my daughter. My wife. Myself. And you.

With that, he steps into the shimmering portal... which crackles, flashes and winks out.

Valdermar: Whaaaaat?

Emma leans up from behind the Land Rover, holding a fist closed.

Emma: The key does not turn. The door holds closed. No vampire may cross this barrier.

Valdermar looks over the ruins of his estate, the Watchers and their friends and allies bearing down on him from all sides, and locks eyes with Ziggy, a look of grim determination on his face as he forces the car to lurch towards the vampire. Valdermar sighs.

And pulls out a gun, firing three shots at Ziggy.

Ziggy ducks behind the wheel and the car stalls. Jake, Milli, William, Andy and Escher charge. Valdermar turns slightly to face Jake, then spins with unearthly speed and lashes out with a sidelong kick, sending him flying twenty feet backwards. He rights himself and easily sidesteps Escher's swing, pinning his sword with his foot and snapping it in two. Catching William's axe mid-swing, he casually pushes him off balance and onto his back... and then Milli cartwheels and leaps, landing feet-first on his face.

He stumbles back and lands on the hood of Jack's car. Ziggy dives and puts both hands on the accelerator, and the car lurches forwards. Valdermar puts a fist through the hood and starts clawing at the engine but the car carries on, rolling downhill... towards the edge of the stormcloud.

Valdermar looks up at the sun in the sky as he starts to burn, then back at Ziggy. They lock eyes, and Ziggy spits:

Ziggy: 0WN3D!

The car catches alight as Valdermar burns. Ziggy stops glaring and lunges for the door. Valdermar smashes it inward with a burning fist. Ziggy climbs over the seat and dives out of the back, then runs as Valdermar, and Jack's car, explode!

The stormcloud dissipates as the ruined car flips in the air twice and lands hood-first. Like a standing stone...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Mr. Taylor looks up from a file as Jenkins looks around his office door.

Jenkins: Reports of a fire and an ambulance being called to the Valdermar house, sir. And the shield still holds.
Taylor: After a fashion. We still have the ability to send vampires and other clients in, when called for. Let the Watchers have their victory. Let them regain their sense of security... And when a client wants to strike around the shield, they won't be expecting it.

Andy, human again, massages the painful-looking welts where the cuts had been in werewolf form. William holds a cold compress over the gash on his forehead. Ziggy takes the weight off his twisted ankle. Escher grimaces at the livid bruises on his face. And Jake shows off the huge angry bruise on his side where Valdermar's kick broke three ribs.

Jake: I hurt all over. We got 'em all, right? How many did I get?
Milli: I'll give you the extra one, that still makes you even. You should have tried a defensive stance when they charged.
Jake: I did that back there. Didn't work.

He stretches, winces with a sharp intake of breath, and Milli stares at his wounded chest.

Ziggy: Y'know, and this sounds weird telling a girl, his eyes are up there.
Milli: Huh? Oh. Right.

Escher manages to convince himself to stand up.

Escher: Well, I think you've all earned some time off.
Milli: Great... can you tell my tutor that?

CREDITS!

The Mutant Enemy lurches across the screen, and then flies backwards screaming.
GRR! ARG! ... WAHA!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Actual Play bit, as DVD audio commentary:

Well, that "three hour" session started almost on time and ended and hour and a half late, in the pub.

(Guys, did anyone look at me funny as I shouted "I shall just have to settle for KILLING YOU ALL!"?)

Horrendous levels of violence can be meted out on most White Hats with relative ease. William was about two rounds away from being beaten into a coma, even if the vampire hadn't used his sword, Andy only avoided a Consciousness Check because I figured reverting to human form took off some of the accumulated damage, and Valdermar's kick took out about 2/5 of Jake's Life Points, necessitating his first use of the I Think I'm Okay rule.

Portishead are the scariest band I've featured:

Cat: They're the band that scares me most in the world.
Derek: You know when Portishead are playing it's gonna be baaaaad.

The Valdermars did just what I wanted:

Andy: The child siring the parent, that's just... euuugh...
Derek: Yeah, that's pretty f***ed up.
Cat: She was f***ed up before she became a vampire. I've decided.

Using a villain's Drama Points for a Mysterious Death results in:

Cat: I'm so gonna get her.
Craig: Well, it depends on how much the audience likes her.
Cat: Oh, the audience loves her.
Derek: Oh yeah. We do.
Craig: I dunno, if they like her enough, I'll have to keep her around, but make her part of the group. So you'll get to be mean to her for an extended period.

--

Next time: A Watch House spring break special.

Two figures in purposely concealing coats carrying a third, totally covered in a sheet, out of a room in what looks like a hospital. The room is marked CORONER.

A leathery hand with blackened fingernails twitches and grabs the side of what looks like a hospital bed.

Charlotte screaming in horror, trembling and tearing up, looking away from something in front of her. William trying to comfort her, while he looks down at whatever she's trying not to see, wide-eyed with shock himself.

Stitches
Coming soon.

[Lord Darkblade]

So who do I sue over the car? And how did they get my keys...

Shame I missed this one, however its cruel to destroy my car, I might just have to buy another :)

[Professor Phobos]

Smashing, Craig. Absolutely smashing.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by Lord Darkblade
So who do I sue over the car? And how did they get my keys...

Shame I missed this one, however its cruel to destroy my car, I might just have to buy another :)
This is your concern, and not the accusations of Humperdinck or Chris De Burgh CD ownership? This worries me. On several levels.

Originally posted by Professor Phobos
Smashing, Craig. Absolutely smashing.
Yes, many things were smashed. A house, a car, some heads, several ribs, a Cast Member's fragile little heart...

Thank you. Players, take a bow.

[thenewgirl]

Very cool.

Nice work!

When's the next one?

[11 days 'til The Night Watch continues....]

[Professor Phobos]

I especially liked the vampire driven into the sunlight bit.

[Craig Oxbrow]

The timing of the next episode... probably Sunday, assuming it stops snowing sometime between then and now. It's a "spring break special" because at least one of my players is away (off to WarpCon)... again, assuming it stops snowing between then and now.

[SteveD]

Dammit. TWH has what I have yet been able to pull off: good action scenes. THis time, it had why I might never be able to do: a fantastic MASS action scene, with some amazing set pieces and legendary kung fu. Not just one, but TWO exquisite death moves.

I can't believe that's a PCs first ITIOK though. My players usually spend about two per combat. So, no, White Hats are really hard to kill, actually.


And you're playing again next week? What are you, superhuman?

Steve

[Craig Oxbrow]

It did take an hour and a half. And there was a lot of luck in it working as well as it did.

I had the "vampire catches stake or bolt in arm and flails around with it" shot in mind for a couple weeks, so it was pretty much a "feed line" for a stunt. The fact that it worked perfectly (and got a huge grin and an enthusiastic "oh YEAH!" from el player del Milli) is just one of those "great players" things.

Likewise, the edge of the stormcloud was mentioned in passing before Ziggy got behind the wheel, the whole cloud thing having been decided in a moment of "necessity is the mother of invention" thought. I originally figured I could stall the PCs until it got dark. I am a colossal pillock.

I managed not to give Curtis a name in-session (c.f. "I am a colossal pillock"); he was just the big vampire. More individualisation of the ravening horde: a good thing.

I've been low on action, hence Jake not having actually had more than a few cuts and scrapes in the first nine episodes.

And I find it hard to believe that the Architect of TINS is worried about the quality of his action scenes.

(Hmm. Note to self: huge land battle between Agents and rebels in the Matrix. Cool. :cool: )

Superhuman? Running a game after a year-long dry spell? Dumber than a mud fence? You decide!

[U_C]

Great writeups Craig it seems to be getting better week on week, I do read them just rarely have anything to say.

Cheers
Steve

[colbabe]

Agreed, superb denouement to the season.

And hey, what's so bad about Chris de Burgh?

[Craig Oxbrow]

Note to self: have Bill Bailey turn up in TWH, just so he can explain what's so bad about Chris de Burgh to Col...

Thank you, thank you.

[SteveD]

Chris de burgh rocks, not least because he's so easy - and so deserving - to make fun of.

This is called bisocialising.

I created TINS so I could concentrate fully on description. I have trouble doing that and remembering rules at the same time. My combat scenes tend to be very general and minimal - I just describe the impression of the battle, not the details (which is why, I just noticed, that the body count is usually lower than it should be on the website)...I find it hard to make them particularly interesting, or particularly central, because I guess they're not very important to me. I always tune out when the fighting starts in Buffy.

But I need to stop doing that, or all my episodes will look the same.

Steve

[thenewgirl]

I like that there's relatively less fighting in our game- we are not slayers after all!

I suppose this is largely because I have been somewhat jaded by too many games which have the potential for actual role-playing but end up as smash and grabs.

[SteveD]

The initial brief was less combat, partly because I wanted the show to be different to Buffy, and partly because of the lower power level. In the first series, I was planning on you to run away more and such, but instead you just armed yourself to the teeth, used good group tactics and spent Drama Points like they were going out of style.

This series, partly because of style, partly because of laziness, I seem to be avoiding combat generally. I'm actually trying to force myself to write an episode where combat plays a major part, but it's not easy. Combat is Buffy the show isn't interesting, and it's certainly not greatly interesting in the game - especially since none of us really knows the rules, nor feels like using them. We're all better - and, methinks, having more fun - when we're not rolling dice, so I try to avoid it.

But yeah, I don't want to rest on my laurels. sometime I may want combat and dice rolling, so gotta make sure I can do it if needed.

Steve

[Craig Oxbrow]

This was our "biggest can of whupass I can find" episode. And emptying the can lasted as long as half a normal episode.

Next, at the suggestion of my most actively-involved-behind-the-scenes players, there'll be a lull in the fighting. More "situation of the week", less "monster of the week". (TNW 2.2 Perfect Day is a great, dare I say perfect, example.)

And a seasonal arc story that can't be resolved by whaling on it.

Well, not fully resolved by whaling, anyway.

Due to some discussion last night/this morning, Stitches will now be shuffled back a week. In its place, Wild Boys.

Trailer when available.

[Mytholder]

And now I've got Holtz and Captain Ahab teaming up to hunt the Great White Vampire Whale with wooden harpoons in my head...

[SteveD]

Another reason I dislike combat is that these days, I feel it an imposition to even think about rules. That's also why I don't want Eirion to learn magic - it means I have to read the fucking rulebook.

I have far more important things to do.

Steve

[Quasar]

Nicely done.

Though I think I've been permanently scared off ever running a Buffy/Angel game.

[SteveD]

This is the way it is. Craig's game intimidates the hell out of me, and mine probably intimidates him. It says nothing about the quality of our games and everything about our insecurities.

So run, boy. Run.

Steve

[Craig Oxbrow]

Pretty much, yeah.

When I got a group for a TNW type game, I went back and read over TNW, and I thought: "what was I thinking? I can't do anything this cool!"

And I can't.

I massively lucked out with players.

[thenewgirl]

Originally posted by Quasar
Though I think I've been permanently scared off ever running a Buffy/Angel game.

Be brave!

How could you live with yourself knowing you did not help more gamers live briefly in the buffyverse!

[SteveD]

I massively lucked out with players.

What he said.

[Quasar]

Originally posted by SteveD
This is the way it is. Craig's game intimidates the hell out of me, and mine probably intimidates him. It says nothing about the quality of our games and everything about our insecurities.

So run, boy. Run.

Steve

Oh beyond the quality of the Buffy games posted around here is my fear of my inability to use the TV episode and season structures. I've never really played (let alone) run games which were so heavily structured as Buffy promotes.

[Professor Phobos]

Oh beyond the quality of the Buffy games posted around here is my fear of my inability to use the TV episode and season structures. I've never really played (let alone) run games which were so heavily structured as Buffy promotes.

You know, I keep meaning to start a thread about this. Well, that and the problems of having so many strong iconic characters that inevitably my NPC's reflect them in some ways.

But as I've been running Buffy, I find that scripting too much is a pain. It's an RPG first and an emulation second, and I think it works best with an RPG's unpredictably.

So, no, Buffy doesn't necessarily promote "structured" play. Just soap opera subplots and humorous dialogue.

[Craig Oxbrow]

The Watch House Spring Break Special: Wild Boys

A couple weeks have passed since the battle of the Silbury stone. There's been no sign of Victoria, Jack has just been released from hospital, Jake hasn't had any visions, things have returned to relative normality. Ziggy strolls into Escher's office of a Friday afternoon and looks over the assembled group... no sign of Milli or Emma.

Jack: So what exactly happened to my car?
Escher: It was, ah, very brave.
Jake: It was a vampire car. It had to die.
Jack: Er, but why wasn't it parked where I left it?
Jake: Look on the bright side. Now you can spend some of that money you have.
Ziggy: It's a long and tragic story that William can explain far better than I can.
William: Um... Er, well...
Jack: You stole it, didn't you?
Ziggy: This is starting to border on harassment.
Andy: Let it go. It was possessed.
Jack: By...?
Andy: Well, by us actually.
Ziggy: By Chris de Burgh.

Jack mutters under his breath as Ziggy effortlessly changes tack.

Ziggy: where's Milli?
Escher: Attempting to deal with her family, I believe. Her aunt and uncle are visiting.
Ziggy: Oooh. That must be fun.
Jake: Double threat.

Cut to Milli sitting, hunkered down to make herself as small a target as possible, as her aunt and uncle examine her new look and try to tut quietly.

Ziggy: Emma?
Jake: Studying.
Ziggy: Friday night, no girls? Hmm...
Jake: Hmm?
Ziggy. I think that we should patrol the clubs tonight.
Jake: Oh yeah?
Ziggy: I want to make sure the city is safe...
Jack: From vampire girls wearing very little?
Ziggy: Definitely.
Jack: Well, there's that new club in town...
Jake: Why not just say you want to go clubbing?
Ziggy: I like to look like I have some greater purpose.
Jake: Yeah, okay...
Ziggy: Why are you so down? The ball and chain is away and you're still mopey...

Emma pages through a large, thick tome of a book, grimacing. Then she takes out her highlighter pen and applies it... to her course notes. She looks over at Jake, idly practising on his acoustic.

Emma: Uuuurgh. I'm snowed in here. Can't really come out tonight.
Jake: Awww.
Emma: Yeah, I know. You should go to Ziggy's boys' night out thing.
Jake: Ugh.
Emma: Oh, c'mon. How bad can it... I shouldn't finish that question, should I?
Jake: No, you really shouldn't.

And as she manages not to, we cut to an aerial shot of the city, winging away from the spires of the colleges to a back street court. We hear heavy wings flapping quickly, then see three seemingly-human pairs of feet land gracefully in a courtyard. Women's voices chat as they head indoors, and we just glimpse the back of the third woman... and her wings retracting as she shrugs a jacket on over them.

CREDITS!
Episode written by Craig Oxbrow and Cat.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Jack spends the afternoon getting a car.

Andy: Go find your car. See if we care... But if you could get one that's armoured, that'd be good.
Jake: Or a station wagon, with all the wood panelling.
Andy: Make sure it can drive through a wall...

Ziggy: Cars are the new bait.
William: Meals on wheels.
Ziggy: Full of live meat.

William: I still can't quite justify destroying his car.
Ziggy: Things to say when he's not around...

Night falls, and lo, the guys head to the pub.

Ziggy: Milli's not here. What of Milli's can we destroy?
Andy: Her My Little Pony collection!
Jake: Er...?
Andy: Bet she does.
Jack: You could always just steal her diary.
Ziggy: What am I, an idiot?
Andy: We want a bloodthirsty unstoppable maniac to hunt us down and kill us?

Ziggy: Since everybody's mopey about girls, I propose we find new girls - easy girls!
Jake: All I said was "yeah, okay"...

Andy: So where are we going?
Ziggy: Somewhere we don't normally go. Like something might happen, and we don't want to leave a trail. Not that we'll do anything stupid. Five guys out on our own.
Jake: Oh no, absolutely not... I'm just gonna make a phone call.

Emma: Hello?
Jake: Looks like we're doing the boys' night out thing.
Emma: Well, you look after them.
Jake: Yeah. Gotta go, Ziggy's about to explode.
Emma: Righto.
Ziggy: Jello Shots!

The Cure storm through A Night Like This as they head into Eidetic, the much discussed newish club on Duke Street.

Jack: So, should we be expecting trouble?
Jake: Nah, the shield's secure. You car died so that we could have a safe night out.
William: Actually, the shield ends back there.
Jake: Oh.

Looking around, they note Tim, Frank and Barry the rugby gits, the Brothers Grimm (barely recognisable without their labcoats), five girls from Lucy Cavendish, assorted young women in twos and threes, three blonde sisters...

Seeing the gits looming, Ziggy suggests:

Ziggy: Jack, you go talk to them.
Jack: You kidding? I'm gonna try it with the sisters.

The guys compare strategies.

Jake: See those five girls? Forget it. Five girls, they gang up to take guys down. I mean, it could be a hen night, they'd skin us alive. Maybe try one of the two or three. And take wingmen.
William: Wingmen?
Jake: I'm not after somebody and I'm glad to help.

Ziggy: I have a five step plan.
Jake: Aaauugh.
Ziggy: First, eye contact.
Jake: Ziggy goes around staring.
Ziggy: Subtly. I have sunglasses!
Jake: You can't make eye contact wearing sunglasses.
Ziggy: Details, details. Step two would be to smile.
Andy smiles.
Ziggy: No, smile. Not "bare your teeth".
Jake: You just look hungry...
Ziggy: Step three, get 'em a drink. Step four, go over, say something witty.
Jake: How you doin'?
Ziggy: Witty, not ironic. Step five... introduce them to you outcasts.

Jack: We only need three girls. Jake and Will are taken.
Ziggy: See, the basic idea is we all have fun, not for the single guys to charge the first girls we see...

Ziggy: Anyway, I should apply a little natural charm.
Jake: Wait, we're talking about you here.
Ziggy: You've never seen my natural charm.
Jake: Why I have doubts. Anyway, we just got in. Don't look desperate. Get a round. Chill.
Ziggy: I don't like the pressure. Cramping my style...

Jake: We can't leave him. He needs wingmen.
Jack: Yeah, but does anybody wanna go on that trench run?

Ziggy gets up to head for the five Cavendish girls.

Ziggy: See, I like a challenge.
Jake: I think you're going after the impossible so you can't pull but you say you tried.
Jack: We can go as your wingmen.
Ziggy: The day I want you as my wingman... (turns to Jake) Please shoot me. Guh, why am I the only one who talks to people?
Jake: I talk to people.
Ziggy: You only talk to girls you know will respond. So he never has to face defeat. I go for the impossible girls.
Jake: Impossible. IM-Possible. Not possible!

Shaking his head, he goes to the bar to get a round in. And finds himself next to the triplets. They chatter among themselves:

Ellen: Is that the one?
Laney: No, and he is protected as well.
Trish: But he is a friend...

And they smile brightly as he says hi...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

William: You know, I don't think Jake's coming back...
Ziggy: I'll go check on him.

And Zig finds him at the bar, talking to...

Jake: The Harper sisters.
Laney: Laney. And this is Ellen and Trish.
Ziggy: Ziggy. So you're, what, triplets?
Laney: Yeah. Ziggy? Is that your actual name?
Ziggy: Well, my parents and I had a disagreement. They wanted me to have a traditional Jamaican family name.
Ellen: What is it?
Ziggy: Y'know, I can't remember.
Trish: You forgot your own name?
Ziggy: Haven't used it since I was three.
Laney: So, Ziggy, like Marley?
Ziggy: It's a coincidence. One of his roadies owes me some money though.
Jake: You know roadies. Deep pockets, short arms. So, what are you three studying?
Laney: Biology, Classical Languages and Pre-Med.
Ziggy: What about music?
Laney: I like indie. She (Trish) likes rawk.
Trish: And she (Ellen) likes soppy ballads.

Jake picks up that all three are more interested in Ziggy.

Jake: Cute triplets. Bastard, I hate you.
Ziggy: You got it, you got it.

William: I don't think either of them are coming back...

Laney: So is this a boys' night out thing?
Ziggy: Who, us?
Jake: Nah, just out with a mate for a bit.
Ellen: Cuz you know what they say about boys' nights out.
Trish: Boys go on them, not men.
Ziggy: No, no boys' night out here.

And he attempts to shoo away the approaching Andy. Looking slightly affronted, he heads for the dancefloor.

William and Jack, left to their own devices, find a pool table. They also bring an ongoing out-of-character joke about Jack's poor perception in-character.

Jack's player: I can only get as high as Decent (on the successes table) if I roll a 9 or 10. So I can only find Adequate girls most of the time, not Good or Excellent girls.

William: What do you think of those (rolls dice) decent girls over there?

(Drama Point nomination from Ziggy's player)

Jake: I think they're into you.
Ziggy: All of them?
Jake: Yeah.
Ziggy: What do I do?
Jake: I can't figure it either.
Ziggy: Hey, what's that supposed to mean?

Tim, Frank and Barry pass the bar. Laney murmurs something to Tim, glancing at the other two. They blink, nod and head off.

Jake: You know Tim?
Laney: Sorta.

William beats Jack at pool.

William: All those years of Spatial Geometry paid off.

And then the three gits loom into view, surrounding Jack and cornering William as Tim picks up the cue ball. William takes cover, taking his cue with him.

Tim: So what happened to you, man? I thought we were pals.
Jack: I could ask you the same thing. How hard did that ball hit you?
Frank: Now, see, that isn't nice.
Jack: We gonna do something? Cause I got better things to do.
Tim. Well that's a shame...

And Tim hefts the cueball and takes a swing at Jack...

On the dancefloor and oblivious, Jake introduces Andy to the Harpers. They look at him rather curiously, Ellen glances at Laney, Laney nods, and Ellen murmurs something.

Andy: Eh? Sorry?

He leans in, and Ellen's eye gleams cool blue like the full moon.

Ellen: Hecate, Moonwitch, hear our call. This beast is thine, this beast be ours. Hecate, moonwitch, hear our call. This beast -

Andy stands, wide eyed, as Ellen murmurs her chant. And Jake, who notices this kind of thing, grabs Ellen and takes her for a spin.

Andy blinks and shakes himself, eyes turning less yellow as he blinks.

Jake: So, what's going on? And did I mention my girlfriend's a witch?
Ellen: Ahh. I knew you had a girlfriend. Shame.

And with that, she runs off the dancefloor. Trish follows suit. Laney pauses by Ziggy.

Ziggy: Hey, what-?
Laney: Don't worry about it.

And she pats him on the back... and scratches his shoulder blade, drawing blood.

The sisters withdraw. Laney smirks and licks her fingernails clean as they go.

Ziggy: Why do all the chicks have to be supernatural? It's like a curse... Let's get William and Jack. Where are they?

Jack takes a punch across the jaw. William smacks Barry's arm with the pool cue to shake him off Jack and let him punch Tim across the table.

Tim: Uh, sorry mate, what were we fighting about?
Jack: You don't remember?
Frank: Nah, sorry about that.
William: Should I hit him again?

Jake, Ziggy and Andy head outside, and the sisters are nowhere to be seen... Because they don't look up.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Making their way outside, they compare notes as to what happened.

Andy: She was saying something...
Jake: It sounded like a spell.
Andy: Oh.
Ziggy: And she scratched my back.
Jake: Dude, you're bleeding.
Ziggy: Hm? Oh yeah.
William: Let me take a look.
Ziggy: Um, nah, it's not that bad.
Jack: Well, I didn't see anything.
Andy: Were you gonna?
William: We had a fight with the rugby guys. And I won a game of pool!

Calling Escher's office, they find him absent. They head over there all the same.

Andy: If this is spells, we should call Emma.
Jake: Um, let's see what we can find first.
Ziggy: Why?
Jake: She's studying.

Ziggy checks his back and uses most of a box of sticking plasters.

Ziggy: She killed my shirt.
Jake: It's not that good a shirt.

Jake: First off we need to find out what they are. What happened to you guys.

William unlocks the door to Escher's office.

Ziggy: How come you have a key? (looks at Andy and Jake) Do you have a key?
Jake: Nope.
Andy: Uh-uh.
Jake: Must be a trust thing.
Ziggy: I bet Milli has a key. Hmph.
William: Yes, she... so, what are we looking for?

William goes and sends a message to Escher's pager.

Andy: So, what are they?
William: Three of them, blonde, spellcasting, calling to a Greek goddess, claws... What were their names?
Jake: Harper... Harpies? They're bloody original, aren't they?
William: Right, harpies. Celeano, Aiello and Ocypete.
Jake: Ocypete doesn't sound like Trish.
William: Patricia.
Jake: Ah.

William checks his phone. No answer yet.

Andy: So what do harpies do?
William: Creatures of theft and vengeance.
Andy: Vengeance? Well, I don't remember killing anyone... Apart from a bunch of vampires. And some demons...

Ziggy: You should really call Emma.
Jake: Who else could we call? I guess we can't call Milli, she's with her family.

Cut to Milli sitting quietly reading, and looking hopefully at her phone, as her elders discuss the minutiae of long barrow excavations over a hand of bridge...

Ziggy: Yeah, any excuse and she'd be on the bus over here.
Jack: Do the buses even run this late?
Ziggy: She's steal one.
Andy: So call Emma...
Jake: But we get our story straight first. They were after you two.
Andy: They were after us two.
Jake: Exactly.

And so reluctantly he makes a call.

Emma, as it turns out, is at the Basement with Ginny, as Sophie drags Lawrence onto the dancefloor.

Emma: Yeah, Ziggy's just kind of clueless sometimes.
Ginny: Ah, don't worry about it. I'm not pining or anything.
Emma: Y'know, that guy's been checking you out all night.
Ginny: No way, he's looking at you.
Emma: Only when you look over... Anyway, I'm seeing someone, remember?
Ginny: And he's not here.
Emma: Yeah, he's looking after... 'scuse me. Hello?
Jake: Hi, not studying too... does turning your stereo right up help you study?
Emma: What? Oh, Ginny and Soph dragged me out about an hour ago.
Jake: Oh, I see.
Emma: Well, you had your boys' night out thing.
Jake: Yes, well... um... what do you know about Harpies? H-A-R...

(Jake's player: My diction has never been clearer.)

Emma: Uh... ancient Greek flappy monster girls. What about them? You didn't meet one, did you?
Jake: Possibly. We're trying to find out what they wanted.
Emma: Are you okay? Should I come over?
Jake: I don't wanna ruin your evening.
Emma: You guys got attacked by harpies. My evening's kinda ruined already, y'know?

Jack: So what's the story?
Jake: Andy and Zig got harpies.
Andy: That joke never starts getting funny.

William gets an answer from Escher:

Escher: Harpies... Well, there should be a means of calling them to answer and reveal their purpose.

Jake: Oh, so you have a beeper for him? That's handy!
William: Er, well.

And so our heroes assemble.

Jake: So, what don't they like?
Emma: Um, nets?
Escher: Fire.
Jack: Well, there's the gym, with the nets. Not with the sire though.
Andy: Outside would be better for the fire.
Emma: But they can fly.
Ziggy: And no nets in the trees!
Jake: What else?
Escher: Well, we need to speak this phrase. And I believe there's an animal sacrifice involved.
Emma: Eeeughh... does it have to be live?
Escher: Not necessarily.
Jack: How about the cows?
Jake, William, Escher, Emma: No.
Emma: Well, does anyone have any meat spare?

Everyone looks at Andy.

Andy: What?

Escher: Right, here it is. Do you know Greek?
Emma: No.
Escher: Shame. Beautiful language. I'll have to do it.
Jake: So just speak this phrase and they come and tell us?
Escher: Or at least they come. After that we'll have to play it by ear.
Jake: Right... Tool up.

As the group gather their weapons:

Ziggy: The funny thing is, when he said "we ran into harpies in a nightclub" that seems normal.
Jake: That's not funny.
Ziggy: No, no it's not.
Jake: The thing is, they didn't have wings. I could tell. Those little tops don't leave much to the imagination.

Emma demonstrates The Look.

Jake: Hey, I wasn't interested. And neither were they. Anyway, they backed right off after I said my girlfriend's a witch.
Emma: Well, maybe it's because they don't go after those who... and hey, I'm not a witch.
Jake: Well, I was getting them to back off.
Jack: They didn't go after us either.
William: Well, we were fighting the rugby guys.
Jack: Yeah, and then they couldn't remember why...
Jake: Why didn't you mention that sooner? Laney talked to them...
Jack: Oh, didn't think of it. So, little tops, huh?
Jake: Halternecks.
Emma: ...
Andy: It could just be an illusion. They could look like anything. I mean, they didn't have claws to look at them.
Jack: They could be naked and we wouldn't know...
Emma: Or they could have dual forms. (glares at Andy) It's not like we never see that.
Andy: Huh? Oh, come on...
Jake: No, we're fine with it.
Ziggy: The fact she's on the other side of the room is just a coincidence.
Jack: So, Emma, is that a new silver cross you're wearing?
Emma: Um... yes, actually.

They head off to the gym, muttering and occasionally glaring.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Jack climbs off the ladder after stringing up a netball net as the group position themselves, crossbows at the ready. Escher clears his throat rather self-consciously.

Escher: Celeano, Aiello, Ocypete. Come. Retell the call you answer. Unfurl the banner you fly for.

Silence.

Jack: Maybe we need bait.
Ziggy: Shaddap. Maybe we should get something from Jack's new car.
Jack: Not my car.
Ziggy: Ah, bait!

Above them, the upper window opens. This is actually above the net, which is soon slashed down.

Laney: Come on. Like we haven't seen the movie.

Laney, Ella and Trish circle to the ground and land silently. Same going-out outfits, but without jackets or shoes. Hair swept back and plaited, tied with feathers. Clawed hands and feet, eagles' eyes. Wings folding behind them. Sharp teeth revealed by smirks.

Jake: What are you here for?
Laney: Sorry boys. We already did what we came to do.
Jack: Which was...?
Laney: Wouldn't you like to know.

Laney stretches and yawns, and the three of them take off again. Jack leaps and grabs Laney's feet. She rolls her eyes and climbs until he dangles twenty feet off the ground. Ziggy fires his crossbow to make a point, knocking out one of Laney's feathers. She scowls, bearing her sharp little Archaeopteryx-style teeth.

Jake: Don't mess with the hair!
Jack: No, never mess with the hair!

Jake: Who called you?
Laney: Please. We have to maintain client confidentiality.
Ziggy: Come on, they're evil, they're going to come after us.
Emma: We could just keep summoning you whenever.
Trish: Just try it...
Jake: You can give us a clue.
Ellen: He wishes you ill.
Ziggy: Well, that narrows it down. Wait, no it doesn't!
Laney : Fine. It was Skel. Now, how much help is that?
Jake: Uh...
Escher: No.
William: Um...
Emma: Drawing a blank here.
Jack: Don't look at me.
Emma: We weren't.
Ziggy: Uh, maybe he's a He-Man bad guy? Anybody? No?
Laney: Well, we'll let you worry about that. Are we done? Can we drop your idiot off now?
Jack: So why did you target Ziggy?
Ziggy: Sorry, we just picked him up off the street, we didn't know he was that stupid...

Laney: We swear not to harm you and yours again. Satisfied?
Jake: No. You could threaten anyone else in the city.
Ellen: Hardly likely.
Trish: Someone has to be pretty mad to call us in.
Jack: So, why us?
Laney: You were the best targets. Well, not you personally.
Jack: That's the nicest thing anybody's said to me all night.
Laney: Fine, we'll throw in the whole shielded area. Sheesh. Are you done?

Laney drops to a mere fifteen feet up and shakes Jack off.

Escher: We're done.
Jake: Why are we letting them go?
Emma: Because they're monstrous flying witch assassins who could kill us all if we gave them an excuse?
Jake: Right. Just checking.
Escher: And because we can dispel them.

He picks up the fallen feather and taps it against the book he read from, then starts to read another passage... The harpies snarl, and fly out at speed.

Laney: Toodles!

Escher: They won't come back. We can dispel them now.
Jake: And they don't have to. They did what they came for...

Jake: Thanks for your help. Sorry to have disturbed you.
Escher: Not at all. Hmm. Surprised you didn't call Milli.

Cut to Milli sneaking out of the sitting room as her elders continue their debate...

Jake: Wish we knew what they came for. They may have finished casting the spell.
Andy: Gnaaaaah...

The group depart, Andy looking around nervously, and up at the half moon over Cambridge...

End Credits!
GRR! ARG!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Actual Play bit

The idea for the episode was Cat's, as she (and thus Milli) had to miss this session.

Cat: You should definitely do a boys' night out.
Craig: With some boy-targeting monsters.
Cat: Well, you've done sirens, but what about harpies?
Craig: Good call.

And from such discussion episodes are born.

I was worried about a lack of material (as always) but this was the first episode to come in exactly on time rather than under or over. There was some "dead air" in the pre-weirdness clubbing scene, but not too much. There was also a little bit of action, just a couple minutes' of shuffling and dice rolling.

I prodded Joe in advance to suggest the guys go out:

Joe: What's my motivation?
Craig: Don't make me hurt you.
Joe: That's a good one.

So a bit of player-as-author is definitely helpful...

And yes, the whole Skel thing will be important later. (Not exactly a huge spoiler there...)

[Lord Darkblade]

Like our group needs an excuse to go out to the pub... for at least the first hour and a half!

[Professor Phobos]

Jake: Andy and Zig got harpies.


Genius.

[Coffee_Lifeform]

They shoulda called Milli. I think she gets some kind of frenzy/berzerker bonus when the Big Bads are female, and coming onto one of the other PCs. :)

[SteveD]

QUEEN OF THE HARPIES!

Took me ages to get that spelling joke.

I had an idea to help people understand our write-ups: short character summaries at the start of each one. I can never remember the difference between Jack and Jake in TWH.

Steve

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by Coffee_Lifeform
They shoulda called Milli. I think she gets some kind of frenzy/berzerker bonus when the Big Bads are female, and coming onto one of the other PCs. :)
Remind me to show you the Righteous Fury rule next time this happens.

Anyway, what did you think of my co-writing of your pitch?

Originally posted by SteveD
I had an idea to help people understand our write-ups: short character summaries at the start of each one. I can never remember the difference between Jack and Jake in TWH.
Jake's cool. Jack's a plank.

Not enough? Okay...

Now with new pictures! That work!

Milli (coffee_lifeform: Sophia Myles (http://www.angeltowns.com/town/sophiamyles/mag/200202.jpg) with pink hair and a ring in her nose) is the rebellious child of an incredibly stuffy Watcher family, following the family tradition in her own way. She's also the token girl, a bit of a twelve-year-old around a guy she likes, a former classmate of a Slayer in Training at the Watchers' Academy, and a whirling dervish of asskickage.

Ziggy (Joe Dizzy: Shawn Wayans (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/PersonDetail/personid-46230)) was sent to Cambridge after Seeing Too Much back home in Jamaica. He supplies much-needed sarcasm as well as grounding the group in something resembling reality.

Jake (sasori: James McAvoy (http://www.jamesmcavoy.com/modules.php?full=1&set_albumName=album02&id=jimmy&op=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php)) is a guitar playing psychic. He's tough, brave, handsome, funny and cool. His nightmarish psychic visions make him sensitive and troubled too. Girls seem to like this combination...

William (Mark Hamilton (http://www.amh-ash.freeserve.co.uk/pictures/markmypic.jpg)) is the norm for Watchers in training from which all the other PCs deviate. Bookish, quiet, cautious rather than cowardly, and just starting to open up, stumbling through his first kinda-sorta relationship with the equally bookish and cautious Charlotte.

Andy (Hans Matheson (http://photo.gentor.com/photo%5Cstar%5Cha%5C5693%5C5693.jpg)) is a hereditary lycanthrope trying to make good by proving himself to the Watchers. This gives him moody outsider chic.

Jack (Lord Darkblade: casting currently in review) is a rugby-playing moneyed braggart who has Seen Too Much. He comes from a mundane but massively dysfunctional family, and became noisy and combative as a result.

Escher (NPC: Alfred Molina (http://www.cineclub.de/images/2003/09/identitaet_5.jpg)) is the group Invigilator. He tries to be gruff but has grown fatherly towards his charges, notably Milli (having grown up in a similar environment himself).

Emma (NPC: Laura Fraser (http://www.miranda-richardson.com/laurafraser/lfpub01w.jpg)) comes from a happy, normal environment with no history of supernatural involvement. Getting into spellcasting was just one of those things, and she turned out to have a knack for it, like some people do for cooking. She and Jake are involved, and it may be love. She provides magical plot devices and an in-character voice for my own sarcastic asides in group conversations.

[sasori]

Jake: Andy and Zig got harpies.

Genius.

I thank you!

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
Jake's cool. Jack's a plank.

Again, I thank you! :D

[sasori]

Originally posted by Coffee_Lifeform
They shoulda called Milli. I think she gets some kind of frenzy/berzerker bonus when the Big Bads are female, and coming onto one of the other PCs. :)

Maybe we wanna get caught sometimes though...

[Craig Oxbrow]

That way madness lies. And punches. :D

[sasori]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
That way madness lies. And punches. :D

Punches from who? Bads we can take, but if you mean Milli?? :(

[Craig Oxbrow]

I meant Emma actually, but she and Mil can gang up if need be.

Em has leet "dead arm" skills.

[sasori]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
I meant Emma actually, but she and Mil can gang up if need be.

That comment has connotations I probably shouldn't discuss on a forum, but I'm sure "Jake" will spend many hours mulling over...

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
Em has leet "dead arm" skills.

Ah, in that case, scratch last comment... ;)

[Craig Oxbrow]

Watch House Spring Break Special 2: Stitches

Milli: Slightly rebellious Watcher-scion asskicker
Ziggy: Wrong place, wrong time guy
William: Nerdish academic, impeccable Watcher student
Jake: Sensitive musician, psychic, babe magnet
Andy: Shy hereditary lycanthrope made good
Jack: Moneyed rugby-playing group Cordy
Emma: Amiable nervous spellcaster, Jake's SO
Escher: Gruff but fatherly Watcher Invigilator
Charlotte: Civilian, history nerd, seeing William

--

A hospital side room. Muffled voices from inside.

Muffled Voice 1: Is this the one?
Muffled Voice 2: Yes.
Muffled Voice 1: Are you sure this time? I don't want to get to the car and have to come back. Again.
Muffled Voice 2: I said sorry...

Then the doors swing open and two figures in purposely concealing coats, hats and surgical gloves step through, carrying a third, totally covered in a sheet, out of the room. They pass a sign noting the purpose of the room... It's marked CORONER.

CREDITS!

Next morning, the guys assemble at Escher's office to find Milli still not back (this evening, hopefully) Escher laying a newspaper down over his desk.

Escher: Ah! I've received a call from the coroner's office.
Ziggy: Again?
Escher: ... Yes, actually. Sorry.
Jake: This happens a lot?
Ziggy: Hence my use of "again".
Escher: Anyway. Another body has been stolen. The second since the term started - I confirmed the first was just med students messing around, but this one could be more significant. For one, there aren't a lot of immediately incriminating fingerprints and empty cans of cider at the crime scene.
Jake: This is the grossout question, but what do we think happened?
Ziggy: Do we have a "rarrrgh!"?
Escher: Well, that would be what to investigate.
Ziggy: So Commissioner, you want us to take Amazing Boy and head down to the lab?
Escher: if it isn't too much trouble.
Ziggy: Do we need to come up with a cover story? I mean, we tend to do odd things in the coroner's office.
Escher: Odd things?
Jake: Should I even ask?
Ziggy: Well, like the time someone got me to lie in the tray and try to get out.
Jake: Oh yeah. That was funny.
Ziggy: It was cold...
Escher: The coroner, Doctor Brown, is expecting you.
Jake: They know? They're on our side? But then we can't lie!
Ziggy: Doctor Brown...
Jake: We don't have to send everyone. William, Ziggy, you've been there before.
Ziggy: But you can touch something and stare into space.
Jake: Right.
Ziggy: No time to lose! No time to lose! No time to lose!... No time to lose! Hmm... No time to lose?
Andy: I'm definitely not going. I mean, dead bodies? (shudders)
Jake: You're definitely not coming, wolfboy. You do the research.

So off our heroes meander, somewhat sulkily, to look at the crime scene.

A policeman sits outside the morgue reading the Evening News. Nothing about the missing body on the cover. He looks you over suspiciously.

Officer: Yes?
William: Uh, we're here to see Doctor Brown.
Officer: Right... sign here please... And here...

And inside, the coroner taps a pen against a clipboard.

Jake: Doctor Brown?
Doctor Brown: Yes, Mister Escher's students?
Ziggy: Have we met before?
Doctor Brown: Paul Osterman. Thirty-three, worked in a chipshop.
Ziggy: Chip shop? You have a shop for chips?
Jake: Chips are like fries here.
Ziggy: Oh. Weird.

Doctor Brown: Anyway. He was run over by a car. Left arm and leg broken in the impact, as well as several ribs, and his skull was fractured.
Ziggy: So he was dead then?
Doctor Brown: Hence his being here.

Jake: So how healthy was he? ... before? Did he keep fit, did he like his work?
Doctor Brown: He was relatively fit, to look at him.
Jake: Any other bodies here?
Doctor Brown: A seventy-six year old man with renal failure and a sixty-eight year old woman with lung complications.
Jake: So he was the most healthy. Apart from being all broken.

William: So when was the body stolen?
Doctor Brown: Sometime between my leaving at seven and coming back at nine.
William: Security cameras?
Doctor Brown: Hah. Anyway, feel free to look around.
Ziggy (to Jake): And to touch things. (to Doctor Brown) He's a very touchy-feely person.

Putting a hand on the tray where Osterman vanished from, Jake gets... a cold hand.

Jake: I'm not getting anything.
Ziggy: What did we bring you for? Useless!
Jake: Oh, thanks!
Ziggy: Well... I suppose you knew what a chipshop is.

Looking around, Jake notes a rack of tissue samples missing. Sure enough it's Osterman's. Looking in the waste disposal, they find it... and a broken phial of an unknown opaque green liquid. Reaching in very carefully, William retrieves it, looking at it rather puzzled.

Ziggy: This is... huh? Obsessive-compulsive bodysnatchers?
Jake: We've seen weirder. Three girls with wings and claws wanting to kill you.
Ziggy: That's not that unusual. Apart from the wings.
Jake: And the claws.
Ziggy: Nah...

William: Any idea what it is?
Doctor Brown: It's not one of our phials... An apple smoothie?
William: Oh-kay. Maybe we should take it to the lab.
Ziggy: Thanks, doc. We'll see you in... The Future!
Doctor Brown: Oh, yes. Doc Brown. Well done. That never gets tired.

Jake informs Escher et al that the body has indeed vanished.

Jake: We should also check his background.
Ziggy: See if he knows any pasty people.
Andy: See if anybody else at the chipshop died recently...

Jack calls Osterman's flat, tells one of his flatmates "sorry, wrong number" and hangs up.

Jack: Right, there are people there. Can't really go look now. So, anything on demons that steal bodies?
Escher: That shelf. And that one. And the first half of that one. And books scattered throughout these shelves...

Taking the mystery fluid to the lab, William discovers that it's a synthesised adrenal booster with a high electrical convection level. And he notes the Brothers Grimm, those five medical students that hang around all the time, arsing around at the next table. Cue suspicious frown...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Andy goes to scout out the pub. Just in case, y'know. Everyone else congregates there after research.

William: Well, it's a synthetic adrenal booster with a high electrical convection level.
Jake: Huh?
William: I dunno. Like an adrenaline shot that's also a convector.
Jake: Uh, like a steroid? How do you enhance the performance of a dead guy?
Emma: Well, at all really...
William: It could be to jumpstart... bring someone back from the dead?
Jake: Frankenstein-style?
William: More ER-style really.
Ziggy: How does a ster... can I talk to Escher?

William heads back to the lab to run further tests. Not feeling like he can contribute, Andy goes drinking. Sure, it's been done before, but at least Andy has the relevant Addiction drawback...

William: Well, we have a list of chemicals now. No idea of how to source them...

Then he looks around the lab and shuts up.

Ziggy: We'll check his background.
Jake: Give that to Jack. He wants to stalk his flatmates.
Jack: I say we go to his flat and leave Andy at the bar.
Andy: I concur...
Ziggy: The reason we leave you at the bar is... Jake, you continue.
Jake: I think he knows.

Wanting to pull his weight, Andy goes to check on William. As he does, he hears muffled voices from the chemistry supply room.

Muffled Voice 1: Get the adrenochrome!

Finding William, they confer and decide to:

William: Call backup!
Andy: There's some guys in the lab doing something dodgy.
Ziggy: Like homework?
Jake: We're coming over.
Ziggy: That's very brave of you.

Andy attempts to use his uncanny lycanthropic senses to follow a scent trail... and his eyes water.

Andy's player: I follow the direction my nose hurts most!

Arriving, the group split up to check the various doors. Jake spots two figures in dark clothes hustling out and cutting across the green. Heading for that exit, he finds it locked. Picking the lock, he keeps his distance and follows them quietly, and they head into one of the residential staircases.

Jake: Well, they're in the staircases.
Ziggy: So that narrows it down to students and professors. So that's, what...
Emma: Five hundred or so?
Ziggy: That's narrower than anyone in Cambridge.
Jake: I guess they won't be keeping the body in their room.
Jack: They could have a really big fridge in a larger kitchen.
Jake: If it was that big, they'd make it into another bedroom.

Checking the room directory, they find that the three staircases off that corridor include a number of medical and chem. students... including the Brothers Grimm.

(From the left, played by Finch (http://www.scarletpage.com/Images/finchobb2.jpg): Terry Compton, Simo Lassiter, Paul Finch, Eddie Davis, Hairy Anderson)

Andy: I knew it!
Emma: Well, why didn't you say anything?
Andy: Erm...

Heading over to the house of Grimm, they check to see if anyone's in, and then break in.

Andy: Well, this smells like... socks.
Jake: They always wear labcoats, right?
Ziggy: It's possible for them to change.
Andy: Not judging by the smell...

Searching, they find a box of phials matching the mystery liquid container, and also that this is what happened to those two Bunsen burners that went missing.

Checking the telephone book, Ziggy finds:

Emma: Nothing marked "secret lab".
Ziggy: Curses! Foiled again!

Ziggy: Well, right now we don't really have anything.
Jake: Okay. We watch them, follows them... find the body and then jump them.

The Watch agree a watch schedule. Then Milli calls.

Jake: Good to have you back. We're having a stakeout, wanna join us?
Milli: Uh, what?
Emma: How was it?
Milli: Don't... ask... what are you guys up to... stakeout?
Jake: Oh, y'know, body snatchers on campus.
Milli: Good to be home...

Jack: It was like an adrenalinny convectivey electrolysis...
Milli: Riiiight. Annnnyway…

Jake: So we're keeping a lookout.
William: We can do the American cop thing, park outside with binoculars.
Ziggy: Jack isn't allowed binoculars on campus.
Jack: What have you heard?

Milli: So what have I missed?
Ziggy: Well, we haven't crashed Jack's new car yet.
Jack: Who crashed my old car?
Milli: Oh, Ziggy.

Our heroes continue to argue the details of the watch schedule.

Ziggy: I'm not going with Jack!
Milli: Me either!
Jack: Fine, I don't need much rest.
Jake: Right, we'll take first watch. (He indicates himself and Emma)
Milli: I think we should draw straws!
Jake: You're going with Ziggy.
Milli: Don't put it like that.
Jack: Or with me.
Jake: You can be the first girl in his new sportscar.
Milli: Please no.

Ziggy: Are they the "good boys back early" type or the "sway in at six in the morning" type?
Jake: They're med students.

Ziggy: This is like that movie Stakeout with Richard Dreyfuss and Emilio... Estifness. Esnevzes. Estrada...
Emma: They're coming out.

Sure enough, out they come. Cunningly disguised by not wearing lab coats.

Milli elects to stay when Jake and Emma take first watch.

Milli: Uh, so we can watch while Jake looks around.

Which he doesn't do. So Milli stalks around, coming back every few minutes to interrupt Jake and Emma. In case they get distracted. Obviously.

And at about two, four figures return supporting a fifth.

Jake: Could be a body.
Emma: Or the fifth guy too drunk to walk.
Milli: So what were we doing here again?
Jake: Finding out what they're up to.
Milli: They were out getting drunk.
Emma: We didn't know that?
Jake: Well, we could go listen at their door.
Milli: We could... come on.
Jake: We shouldn't all go.
Milli: No, we should.
Jake: I'll go.

And so Jake leaves Milli and Emma to talk...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Emma: So, bodysnatching? That's just... horrible.
Milli: Hm. Yeah.
Emma: Gah... Sorry. Um.
Milli: Yeah.
Emma: So, how was home?
Milli: It was bad.
Emma: Sorry.
Milli: Yeah, well, we can't all have the happy wonderful homes like you do, happy Christmases and...
Emma: Um... yeah. Well, um, we did come back.
Milli: I did say not to.
Emma: Well, y'know, if something had happened to you guys I'd have felt terrible.
Milli: ... Yeah. I know.

Jake listens at the door.

Finchy: Anybody want a pizza?
Eddie: Oh, God no.
Simo: Mis-Shapes, mistakes, misfits... we'd like a' go ta town but we can' risk it...

Jake returns to find Mil and Em talking.

Emma: I swear, they were harpies. And I'm not just being bitchy... Hi.
Jake: Hey. They're pissed.
Milli: So... we sit here watching them sleep?
Jake: Nah. Jack can have his shift now. He can sit here all night. His CDs can keep him company.
Emma: Rather him than us.

And so as Jack arrives Jake goes to walk Emma home...

Jake: Well, goodnight then.
Milli: It's dangerous out there.
Jake: You want us to walk you home?
Jack: You can stay here and help me keep watch.
Milli: ohhhhh (yawn) gosh, I'm tired...

And so she heads off with Jake and Emma, leaving Jack looking a tad puzzled. They see Emma to her door.

Jake: So, are we...?
Emma: Well, I have that early tutorial tomorrow.
Jake: Oh, right.
Milli: Goodnight then.
Emma: It's great to have you back.

And she gives Milli a hug. Milli smiles uncomfortably.

Milli: Uh, thanks.

On the way home:

Milli: So, you're sleeping with her?
Jake: Er...
Milli: And you're not thinking of marrying her, are you?
Jake: Uh, what? I thought you weren't like your parents.
Milli: I'm joking! I am! I've had sex! I have had sex. With lots of people...

Awkward silence from Jake, Milli, and the three Newnham College guys walking home across the street. Somewhere an owl hoots. Milli attempts to withdraw her entire head into her coat.

Jack is woken at half-eight by William and Ziggy. They soon confirm that the Brothers head off... to lectures.

Milli: So they go to lectures. Whose idea was it that they stole the body? Yours?
Jake: William's.
Milli: Oh. Right.
Jake: So now it's more likely because it was his idea?
Milli: Well. Yeah.
Jake: oh.

Their next tactic is to follow them to the pub after daily lectures.

Ziggy: We need to get one of them alone. If they're a group they'll have bravado.
Jake: Milli, you go over, see who looks away first. Get him.
Jack: They'll be all like "a girl is talking to us". They'll freak.

Ziggy: Right, then we separate the weak one from the herd and question him.
Jake: Andy, you chase them and see which one lags behind...
Ziggy: Or with the questioning. Like good cop, homicidal madwoman.
Milli: I just spent the whole weekend with my parents. And my aunt and uncle. They played bridge. I watched. I think I can do that.

Milli's player: I think her ideas of "seduce" and "interrogate" are pretty much the same.

After twenty minutes, Finchy goes to the loo. Milli and Ziggy pounce, Milli slamming him against the wall and holding up at tiptoe height.

Finchy: I have a full bladder...
Ziggy: All the more reason to talk.
Finchy: About?
Milli: About the dead guy.
Finchy: I, uh, dunno what you mean.
Milli: Don't make me angry!
Ziggy: You wouldn't like her when she's angry.
Finchy: I don't like her now.
Milli: And I don't like you!
Finchy: I kinda figured...

Milli positions her knee between Finchy's dangling legs, preparing the way to drop him sharply onto it.

Finchy: Okay, okay, it was Eddie's idea! We synthesised this as a replacement for the old straight adrenaline shot, it's like CPR in a needle! But it's... well, Eddie made it, and he wanted to see how it works on, um, someone that's been down for too long for CPR. Y'know, a corpse. I was like, hey, bad idea! But then that guy dies and well they just gotta. But, uh, his arm and leg were broken...

Meanwhile, Charlotte and William leave Professor Kelly's Renaissance History class of a late afternoon.

Charlotte: So, I, um, I haven't seen you around much the past couple, um, days.
William: I have an assignment. Chemistry.
Charlotte: Anything I can help with?
William: Not really, but hopefully it'll be done soon.
Charlotte: Okay. Um... want to... get something to eat?
William: Oh, sure.

They head over, cutting through one of the arches leading to the refectory, and then... something on the ground. Two filled bin bags. William only notices as Charlotte's foot thuds into one... and an arm falls out.

Charlotte screams in horror, trembling and tearing up, turning and stumbling away.

William tries to comfort her, while he looks down at it, wide-eyed with shock himself.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Escher deals with the police. Charlotte in shock, shivering in a warm blanket. William with his arm around her, rage visible in his fixed thousand-yard stare.

Finchy rambles on.

Finchy: So at this point it probably just has one arm and leg. Unless they attached the leg that we, uh, stole from an amputation.
Milli: Where?
Finchy: One of the groundsman's sheds off Newnham.
Ziggy: Right. I say we knock him out and lock him up in here.
Finchy: I'm right here.
Milli punches him in the face.
Finchy: I - ut...

Milli drags him into the ladies' room and locks him into a cubicle.

Ziggy: Quick Batman, to the shed!
Milli: Should we get the others?
Ziggy: To deal with the dead body?
Milli: Yeah.
Ziggy: Only it's not dead. It's undead. Living dead. Seventy per cent dead. I can't believe it's not dead!
Milli: Jake, Emma, you two watch the other Brothers.
Emma: What did you do to the one you had?
Milli: Oh, I knocked him out.
Emma: Ah.

William catches them coming in and follows. The rest of the guys notice and follow as well.

Milli: Way to not draw attention to us, right?

They head over to the large shed (it looks more like a small barn) and find the door padlocked.

Milli: If only Jake were here... to unlock it.

Jack smashes the lock off. Inside, they find concrete stairs leading down into darkness. Milli snaps on her lighter.

Jack: Ladies first.

At the bottom, she finds another wooden door. One swift kick later...

Ziggy: I'm sensing you may have aggression issues.
Milli: Do you really want to know?
Ziggy: No, just making idle chit-chat.

She proceeds into the dark. Jack, following, fumbles around for a light switch, and finds a huge lever...

Pulling it down lights up the bunker-like basement. And starts up a Van der Graff generator and the crackle of electrical cables. Looking over, they say a complicated mass of chemical and electrical equipment surrounding a stolen hospital gurney.

Andy: Oh God, hospital smell.

A leathery hand with blackened fingernails twitches and grabs the side of the gurney, and the thing that used to be Osterman sits up, dull grey eyes narrowing with murderous hatred...

Andy and Jack back away. Ziggy stands and looks around for a weapon. William strides forward purposefully. Milli lunges forwards and slits its throat...

It ignores the bloodless injury and swings at her with its one arm.

It throws itself out of bed, tearing several IVs out of its mottled skin, grunting as it stands on mismatched feet.

Milli kicks at it, keeping it out of arm's reach. Zig runs over and grabs a flask of hydrochloric acid. William pulls at an electrical cable, trying to tear it off the wall. Andy keeps backing away. Jack picks up the door and slams it into the monster. It punches through it and grabs him.

Osterman: Nice... strong... arm you got there.

Milli ducks to the side as Zig throws the flask... and misses, shattering it on the floor behind the creature. Then William heroically wrenches the cable free and slams it into the pool of acid. It sparks and bursts into flames, quickly engulfing the thing's desiccated legs. It starts to roar and lash around in pain as everyone backs off. Its newly-transplanted leg comes loose and it falls face-first, engulfed in flames. It twitches and shudders, and then lies still.

Milli spots an axe inside a cabinet marked "in case of fire break glass", breaks the glass with a chunk of random electrical equipment, and takes Osterman's head off.

Ziggy: I think it's dead now.

Cut to Escher having a quiet talk with Brown.

Doctor Brown: Medical students?
Escher: Exactly.
Doctor Brown: They didn't...
Escher: Yes, they did.
Doctor Brown: Well. Haven't had one succeed for a while.

Finchy, Terry and Hairy blame Eddie. Eddie and Simo blame Finchy and Terry.

Milli: What'll happen to them?
Escher: They'll be expelled from their courses. Rather quietly, probably.
Milli: It's terrible. They started out doing something good. The one that did it, he's a genius.
Andy: With no morals at all.
Milli: Yeah.
Escher: We'll keep an eye on them... Add them to the list we have to keep an eye on...

Charlotte still looks shaky.

Charlotte: God... that was... that's the worst thing I've ever seen.

William looks troubled as he puts an arm around her.

William: It's okay... it's okay.

Grr! Arg!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Music: Ash, Burn Baby Burn

A thin man with a scruffy beard (David Thewlis (http://www.prisma-online.de/image/94/mmnet_8a570b272194.jpeg)) lights a cigarette, smirks and looks out at us.

Skel: Now this is where it gets really interesting...

As the drums kick in, the Watch charging, weapons raised.

Milli whirling a sword around.

Ziggy yelling in shock as someone pins him against a wall.

Jake and Emma dancing in each other's arms.

Andy clutching his head and screaming, falling to his knees as he transforms.

William screaming and brandishing his axe as the camera swoops towards him.

Escher taking off his glasses and massaging the bridge of his nose.

An old dark house suddenly lit up from within.

The entire barroom of the Brody erupting in a massive all-out bar brawl.

Milli punching Jack in the face.

A bolt of lightning, and a massive clap of thunder, out of a sky filled with snow.

Was that William playing the guitar? Nah... couldn't be.

A dozen snarling vampires charging across a street.

The group running from a horde of figures in red robes.

Ziggy sitting on the floor in a circle of candles, looking around nervously.

Ziggy: Uh... hello?

Escher V/O: The new series of The Watch House begins this weekend.

--
Actual Play bit

Another straightforward MotW episode, apart from Charlotte's reaction to finding the arm and leg. I would have liked to have done more with her reactions, counterpointing how most people would react compared to the Watch.

Now, after that break, next week comes the start of Season Two. Wish me luck!

[colbabe]

Bon chance, mon ami!

Well done this week. I knew those Grimm Brothers weren't bad guys. Well, deep down, anyway.

[Craig Oxbrow]

The Watch House Spring Break Special 3: Old Town

Ziggy: wasn't even supposed to be here today!
Jake: sensitive in both artist and psychic terms
William: bookish scion of venerable Watcher family

Emma: Jake's somewhat magic-capable girlfriend
Escher: gruff but fatherly Watcher tutor

(And brief appearances due to player absence by)
Milli: punky scion of venerable Watcher family
Andy: he has hereditary lycanthropic issues
Jack: "He's a rugby player." Says it all really...

--

The stars wheel slowly over the lifeless yew tree standing in the clearing. Five robed figures, faces concealed by hoods, circle it chanting in a low drone. They raise thin daggers over their heads as...

Deedle Dee Dee Dee...

Robed Figure 1: Bugger.

One of them retrieves his mobile phone.

Robed Figure 2: I told you to turn it off...
Robed Figure 1: Yes?... What? The calf's coming now? Oh, for the love of the Amaaten... I'll be there in twenty minutes. Okay. Love you. Bye... Bye... Right, sorry lads. That was the wife. Bloody cow's about to drop.
Robed Figure 2: Right you are Perry. We'll pick this up tomorrow.

The other three mutter and shakes their heads, as the tallest directs the other two to pick up the screaming girl dressed in white lying bound and gagged at their feet...

CREDITS!

The back streets of Cambridge are crowded with narrow winds and late medieval building.

And vampires. On bicycles.

William bombs along after them in a beat-up Raleigh, herding them towards the end of the street and the start of the Shield. Jack leaps out in front of them and gets run over. Jake pursues with crossbow and skateboard, Ziggy brings up the rear on his brand new kickboard.

William drags his axe along behind him, then attempts to jam a stake into the lead vampire's wheels, misses and gets his hands jarred. Ziggy misfires his crossbow and goes arse-over-tit, Jake rolls his eyes and bullseyes one of the others as the third slams into the Shield and his bike carries on without him. Then William drives the stake home and sends the lead vamp flying - and smacking into the Shield eight feet up, sliding down the invisible barrier...

Jake and William skid to a halt and Jake kicks his board up into his hand like Marty McFly.

Jake: Watch that last step, guys.

The lead vampire stumbles to his feet and William retrieves the stake and uses it the old-fashioned way.

Jake: You ruined our cool skid, man.
Ziggy: Bah, cool moves. You have no evidence! There's no body and none of the girls saw it.
Jake: Hey, I know I looked cool.

As they discuss this point, the third vampire tries to sneak off. Ziggy nails him with his crossbow.

Ziggy: See. I hit him.
Jake: I hit him first.
Ziggy: Shu' up.
Jake: Good shot though.
Ziggy: Shu' up! Anyway, what do we do with the bikes?
William: Just put them in the next rack.
Jake: It's one of the quaint customs of Olde English Cambridge. Most of them are so old nobody steals them, just borrows them.
William: There's a huge rack of them at the station... Some have plants growing through them...
Ziggy: Right...
Jake: Well, we killed three vamps, let's go to the pub.
William: I'll report in.
Jake: Your round Zig.
Ziggy: Nuh-uh!
Jake: I called it first.
Jack: What'd you call?
Jake: My round. NO! I mean his round!
Ziggy: Hah!
Jack: Heh... Uh... could someone help me up? I think I dislocated my ankle again...

Back at the office, they find Escher waiting to pounce.

Escher: Michelle Kendall, Anthropology and Psychology, Australian, missing since last night.
William: Where?
Escher: Elsley, about fifteen miles west. Apparently she was going to cover the spring fete procession. Goes back to the Fourteenth Century. Hmm. Sounds fascinating. So, best get an early night. We have a field trip tomorrow...

William: Something's come up. We have to investigate tomorrow.
Jake: So, what's up?
William: A student's gone missing. Michelle Kendall...
Jake: Yeah? I know her, kinda.
Ziggy: When do we have to go?
William: Early.
Ziggy: Nooooo! Why did we send him? You could have come up with a good excuse! I could have come up with a great excuse!
Jake: Just get up early with a hangover. Speaking of, it's your round. Hmm. Reminds me, where's Andy?

Cut to Andy looking out at the full moon, grimacing, and drawing the curtains.

Ziggy: Oh no, it's William's round now. Twice. Thrice. Four... ice.
Jake: What's the problem of getting up early?
Ziggy: What kind of student are you, man?

William: Hey, Milli, we're off to investigate tomorrow.
Milli (on phone): That's great... Remember that hand-in you were supposed to help me with? It's tomorrow.
William: Ah. Sorry...

Ziggy: So, how's Charlotte?
William: She's okay now. She was a bit shaken up, finding a severed limb and all. Understandable really.
Ziggy: Did you use the opportunity to... calm her down?
William: Opportunity?
Ziggy: Y'know.
William: Are you implying something?
Emma: Yeah, are you?
William: I would never take advantage.
Ziggy: Have you learned nothing from us? I mean, she needed calming down! How is that taking advantage?

Emma: You're quiet.
Jake: Worried about Michelle. She was interested in old pagan rituals carrying over into the present. She may have taken her studies too far. Still, maybe it'll give Zig a damsel in distress to... calm down.
Ziggy: What? That's crazy talk.
Jake: Oh, now it's you in the hotseat it's crazy talk.
Ziggy: She could be dead. Or a vampire. Or ugly.
Jake: Well, she's no' ugly. (starts sketching Michelle) The other option's just your type.
Ziggy: Bah. You just went an early night to canoodle.
Jake: It's not like that.
Emma: No it's not.
Jake: Shall we go?
Emma: Yeah!

William: So, early night?
Ziggy: I don't want to fuel the rumours that we're a cult or a giant all-in shagathon gang. I'm waiting at least half an hour, and you're waiting half an hour after that.
William: Riiiiight. See you tomorrow.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Jack pleads off, Milli has an important hand-in to finish, and Andy doesn't answer his phone. (Cut to Andy lying face down on his bed, his clothes in rags, picking up his phone and putting it down again.) So only William, Jake, Emma and a grumbling Ziggy get into the groundsman's four-wheel drive as Escher starts the drive. He's wearing a Barbour jacket and hiking boots for the trip.

Jake: Your outfit scares me.
Escher: Good, good.
Ziggy: It's too early.
William: It's nine.
Ziggy: I was trying to sleep.
William: Don't you have morning lectures?
Ziggy: No!
Jake: He's an English student. They only get up at three. And that's just because they're hungry.
Ziggy: More like four. The shops shut at five.
Jake: Sad but true.
Ziggy: What's sad about it? Anyway, I'll be sleeping in the back. Don't disturb me by... talking about things.

So, naturally, Jake puts a CD in.

Ziggy: Aaaugh. Play some Zeppelin or something.
Jake: I have this may CDs with me. (holds up six)
Ziggy: What kind of a musician are you?
Jake: I have that many at the flat. (puts his arms way out)
Ziggy: This does not help me.
Jake: Here's the key...
Escher: We do have to go, you know.
Ziggy: I offered you the chance to let me sleep. Any Who?
Jake: You're in luck... finally shut him up.
Ziggy: Now, for the way back... can't listen to the same CD on the way back.
William: Thought you were asleep...

It takes about twenty-five minutes to reach the picturesque hamlet of Elsley...

Ziggy: Is this where Jonathan Swift wrote his books?

And another twenty to get to a parking spot, let alone into town. Tourists clog the narrow streets.

Ziggy: Okay William, we have a mission. Counting the Japanese tourists!

Ice cream and candy floss sellers hawk their wares. Souvenir stalls groan under the weight of assorted tat.

Escher: Oh dear God.
Jake: Gah. Morris dancers. Where'd I put the crossbow?

Sure enough, as Escher recoils at the tourist trap Heritage England-isation of a heathen rite, Jake winces at the jangling of bells and dull thudding of sticks. A top-hatted Green Man walks in front of a troupe of Morris men, carrying a staff.

Jake: Don't let Ziggy see the Morris dancers. We'll have to explain. And I can't.
William: This one's yours. (flees)

Ziggy: Why are they doing that? With the balloons?
Emma: Nobody knows... Ice cream?
Jake: Sounds good.
Ziggy: Is this a... coming-out ritual? (seeing the Green Man) It's Hal Jordan on drugs.

The Green Man and his stick-wielding followers go around the church and meet a second procession lead by a pretty girl in white.

Ziggy: Stop staring. I'm the only one that's allowed to stare. (stares)
Jake: I'm... watching the procession.
Ziggy: I thought you were a better liar than this. So you've been telling me the truth more than I thought.

Jake: Morris dancers are just morally wrong. Men banging sticks and hopping.
Emma: See, we don't have them back home.
Jake: Lucky you.
Emma: We burn them.

Ziggy: My theory is that she died of shame on seeing her culture.
Jake: The girl in white? No, only men can be Morris dancers.
Ziggy: No, the student.
Jake: Oh. Right.

The Green Man waves his stick over the girl's head, they dance around clockwise, and separate.

Emma: What's it supposed to represent? Fertility and... er... what?
Jake: All I know is, the sooner we get an explanation, the sooner we can find her and get out of here and go to the pub.

After the procession breaks up, the Morris men linger but the Green Man wanders off to the Coach And Fours Inn, where the local youths snigger at his passing. Jake manfully approaches him.

Jake: So, ah, Mister, ah, Green.
Ted: Ted.
Jake: So what does this all mean?
Ted: Well, uh, it's an ancient fertility ritual to welcome the spring. As it were.
Jake: And the girl?
Ted: Holly Matthews? Well, ah, she's the promise of spring, there, you see.
Jake: Not a virgin sacrifice, then?
Ted: ... Naw.
Jake: Shouldn't the Church be down on this kind of thing?
Ted: Well, it was, er, Christianised in the Dark, no, the Middle Ages. And when Henry the Eighth did the Reformation thing and dissolved all the monasteries an' that, we held it out at the Blasted Tree. This old tree inna forest, that way.
Jake: Yew tree? They seem to like yew trees, these kinda rituals.
Ted: Oh, yeah actually.

Jake nods. Meanwhile...

Ziggy: William? Thirty-nine, including women and children.
William: Well, er, that's more than me.
Ziggy: You see? I'm focused on the mission!
William: Speaking of which, where's Escher?

Escher glares at a souvenir stall and heads into the church.

Ted: Well, if you, um, want the details, you'd be better off talking to Archie. Archie Wakeford, he's the organiser. Over there talking to the Morris guys.

Jake narrows his eyes at Wakeford, the country landholder type, standing looking a tad sinister and standing with the Morris dancers.
Jake's player: Which is far worse.

Canvassing opinions of the local youth:

Bored Kid 1: It's just the bloody town council think it's a good idea. Brings in the money or something. Load've old bollocks if you ask me.
Bored Kid 2: Still, Holly looked nice.
Bored Kid 1: Shu' up!

Ziggy, getting back on track, heads to the pub with a copy of Jake's photo to grill the barman.

Ziggy: Hi, have you seen a friend of mine?
Barman: Sorry, eh? Right, prawn cocktail? That'll be fifty pee. What was that again?
Ziggy: Listen to the ten pound note.
Barman: I'm listening. Just a sec, there's your change... Now...
Ziggy: This friend. Was she here? (holds up the picture)
Barman: Oh yeah, student, asked a lot of questions, she were staying at the Coach an' Four. Ask Bob.

As Ziggy heads that way, Escher looks around the church, arching an eyebrow. In the barroom, the Sneaker Pimps' version of How Do plays, in a less than sly Wicker Man reference.

Ziggy: Have you seen this girl?
Bob: Oh... yes. She was here last night. Was going to watch the procession, but then she got a call on her mobile phone and headed out.
Ziggy: Did she talk to... anyone dodgy?
Bob: I dunno, she were on the phone.

As Ziggy departs, he misses the suspicious look Bob shoots him...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Jake and Emma drag William along as backup as they go to face the Morris dancers.

William: Could I try...?

Taking a proffered stick, he whirls it around like a skilled fencer. The Morris man takes it back, looking at him warily. Trying it again, he finds one of the bells has lost its clapper.

Jake: Dropped a clanger worthy of Ziggy there.
Archie: Well, what do you fine young people wish to know?
Jake: Well, we're curious about the significance of the ritual.
Archie: Well, I'd hardly call it a ritual these days, even though it does trace its roots back to pre-Christian times. Morris dancing began as a form of warriors' ecstatic dance.

Jake holds his rising eyebrow down as Emma holds in a fit of giggles. Determining that Archie is unwilling to share any useful information he does have, they meet up with Ziggy.

Ziggy: Okay, important things first. This town only has three pubs.
Jake: But did you find out about Michelle?
Ziggy: She was staying at the inn. The owner said she got a call and headed out early.
Jake: But where did she go?

Heading into the church, William finds Escher flocking through a tourist guidebook with a frown.

Escher: Well, despite what we've just seen, this town does have some pagan connections. Note the Green Man bosses in the ceiling...

Jake: We need to get into her hotel room and look around.
Escher: That won't be a problem. I booked three rooms for us, including hers.

Getting the keys from Bob's wife Maggie, they take a look around room three. Jake notes that the lamp is out of place, and moving it back finds that it's because this lamp is too big. Tapping the bedside cabinet, he gets a momentary glimpse of the previous lamp smashing in a struggle...

Ziggy: How does he do it, Watson? It's incredible. No, it's boring.
Jake: Bob's in on it.
William: Sure, we might as well start accusing the local businessmen of crimes...
Jake: Go see what happened to the lamp.

Ziggy: Hi, where's Bob?
Maggie: Oh, he had to run an errand.
Ziggy: So, what happened to the lamp in room three? It looks like that's a new one.
Maggie: Oh, fault in the wiring, I think.
Jake, coming down, mimes being strangled with a cord.
William: Like the cord was frayed or the wires were showing?
Maggie: I didn't see it.
William: Well, could we get a look at it?
Maggie: Er... I don't know where Bob put it...
Ziggy: My friend here is a... connoisseur of lamps. But he cooks well, so we tolerate him.

Ziggy: That Jake. He plays dumb but whenever there's something really pointless and impossible to do he knows to send someone else.
Jake: Right, here's the plan. We check out that yew tree. Then we find out the Morris dancers are involved and we beat them up.
Ziggy: Did a Morris dancer kill your father?
Emma: Scare your mother while you were in the womb?
Jake: Look, they're scary, okay? They rattle, and they come outta nowhere with those sticks.

Escher: Well, I've finished reading this so-called guidebook. That was a waste of two pounds ninety-five.
Emma: Still, it was that or a Green Man plate.
Escher: Or a clock. Or a cake tin...
Jake: You're supporting the local economy. Like us. (holds up his pint) Anyway, is the tree in the clearing on the map?
Escher: Yes, just.
Jake: There, worth your two ninety five.

Jake: So, could be the tree's evil. Maybe undead. So we could stake it.
Escher: Kill a tree with some... wood.
Jake: Oh, yeah, hmm.
Ziggy: Bright, this one.
Jake: Well, we kill undead people with wood, we can kill an undead tree with a bit of a person. Maybe we can cut a stake out of you.
Ziggy: I know where you live. I can wake you at two in the morning. With Chris de Burgh.
Jake: I was only joking. Don't hurt me.

Jake: Well, I think she's been kidnapped as a fertility sacrifice. Just a guess...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

And so our heroes head off to the forest to scout out the Blasted Tree, taking axes and crossbows as a matter of course.

Ziggy: So, why are we all here, not just you?
Jake: Well, Escher's driving, William wanted to come...
Emma: And I thought a walk in the woods sounds nice. (links arms with Jake)
Ziggy: Who are you?
Jake: Emma. Em Ma. One of the people here to annoy you.
Emma: The pay isn't that good but we do it for love of the job.

They pick up the trail, noting fresh footprints, and follow them to the clearing... and a tall, twisted yew tree standing alone. Like the other trees are afraid to come near it.

Heading over to take a look, Jake notes the boot prints around the tree... and then shudders and looks away as he sees robed figures stabbing a girl... different robed figures stabbing another girl... and the tree stretching and creaking above him...

Ziggy: Well, I'm not gonna hug him. I mean, he clings on for like fifteen minutes. And then the shaking. And the drool sometimes...
Jake: Cold. Dark. They've done this before. Didn't... didn't kill Michelle. But they were gonna.

Heading back, Jake outlines the plan.

Jake: Start with the innkeeper. See who he leads us to. Follow them and watch them. Being Watchers you should be good at that... right? Oh yeah, the Morris dancers may be part of it.
Emma: Now why would you think that?
Jake: I'm serious. Well, kinda. It's the people in charge. The innkeeper, the councillor, the shopkeeper, maybe the vicar. And the Morris dancers are this guy Archie's guys.
William: So, we just grab a random Morris dancer and ask where?
Escher: Well, let's call that Plan B.
Jake: So, where's Bob?

Cut to Bob standing in a darkened room with Archie, Perry (the local constable) and the Morris men.

Bob: And now we got city folk askin' questions!
Perry: Oooh, "city folk!" Do you have to put it like that?
Bob: Well, she ain't seen our faces, we could just drop her way outta town and go back to Plan A.
Perry: Look, just because you don't like old Matthews is no reason to be sacrificin' his daughter!
Bob: Well, now we got "city folk" thanks to you grabbin' the student.
Archie: Right. All those in favour of killing the city folk, raise your hands...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Our heroes head back to inquire with Maggie, Bob's good lady wife.

Maggie: Oh, he's off to set up the buffet for the after-fete party for the locals, oop at the Wakeford farm'ouse. Well, the grownup locals. Young'uns never want ta come, even with the free food.
Ziggy: Free food?

Jake: So, we go stake out the Wakeford place. Anybody that organised Morris dancing... (off Emma's look) I'd let it go, but I have a feeling I'm gonna be proved right.
Ziggy: Well, if you're right, you get the right to kick his ass all on your own.
Jake: Five guys with knives? Cheers.
Ziggy: Emma'll help you.
Emma: Um...

William: So, we can't slay them, right?
Jake: They're probably people. It'd be murder.
Ziggy: Oh, yeah.
Jake: We could blame it on the beast of the moors... but we left him at home.
Ziggy: And he twisted his ankle anyway.
Jake: I meant Andy that time.

After stuffing pillows into their beds a la Frodo and company at Bree, Jake, Emma and William head up to take a look around the side. Ziggy volunteers to stay in the car with Escher. So they get to spot the front door opening and four big guys with pig stickers come out and pile into a Land Rover (off to go and kill our heroes in the beds they aren't in). Escher hits a speed dial number for Cambridge CID.

William's player: I like that. He has 999 on speed dial...

And then, as William and Escher head up to join the forward team, the side door opens and out steps Archie, in robes. The two remaining Morris dancers carry the slumped Michelle out, followed by Bob and Perry. Michelle (Melissa George (http://www.melissageorge.co.uk/gallery/alias/henweb_mel_alias036.jpg)) groans weakly as she is half-carried, half-dragged.

Jake (quietly): I bloody knew it! Okay, we save the girl.
William: Yeah, save the damsel in distress... we could let Ziggy do that.
Ziggy: Ever since you got lucky you've got a big mouth.
Jake: You don't want to?
Ziggy: Yeah, but...

Bob: So, if this works, prize marrows again next year.
Archie: That is not why we do this. It is a sacred duty. In return for a plentiful harvest, Amaaten demands blood...

Escher: This stops right here and now...
Ziggy: You're taking this personally.
Escher: Human sacrifice. Disgusting.
Jake: Marrows? This is all about marrows? I'll bloody kill them!

And Jake heads up to clobber the first of the Morris dancers on the big of the head.

Jake: With bells on!
Bob: City folk! I told ya!

Our heroes charge into action, Escher punching Perry in the gut. Ziggy covers the battle with a crossbow.

Archie grabs Michelle and a dagger slides out of his sleeve into place, jabbing ever so slightly at her neck. She wakes fully, and looks around, as much puzzled as scared now. Ziggy, meanwhile, shoots a bolt into Archie's arm. Emma grabs Michelle and pulls her away from the cult leader.

Jake: Say goodnight Bob.
Bob: Goodnight Bob!

Jake and Bob exchange blows, but oddly enough an active young monster-fighter bests a greying publican. Bob sits down with a thud, raising a hand in surrender and wheezing.

The remaining Morris man, leader of the pack, whirls his cudgel around at dangerous speed, charging William (who upstaged him earlier). William takes out his axe and smashes the stick.

Archie: Owww... Amaaten! They supplicant summons thee to his aid!
Emma: Stop him! Stop! Him!
Ziggy: You want me to kick your ass, keep going!

To back up his point, Zig hits Archie in the ribs with the shaft of his axe. Unfortunately, by then the Blasted Tree has started to twitch and creak...

Jake: Use the axe!

As Archie keeps rambling, Jake grabs a spare stick and cracks him across the head with it.

Jake: Hey nonny NO!

Will and Zig go to battle with the stretching, groaning tree.

Ziggy: I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay...
Michelle: Hey, you know what that song says about you?
Jake: We just saved you from a killer tree, we can sing what we like!
Ziggy: We can sing George Michael if we want!
Jake: No, we can't.
Ziggy: Faith was a funny song...
Jake: Duck.
Ziggy: Huh?

THUD. A limb of the tree twists into a fair approximation of a human arm and swats Ziggy away. The ground around the tree splits as its roots start to pull themselves free. Seeing an opportunity, Bob retrieves his dagger and goes after Michelle...

Bob: Receive our tribute, this unspoiled virgin -
Michelle: Virgin?!

Michelle goes ballistic on Bob. Emma stops trying to protect her from him and tries to do the opposite.

Michelle: Who you callin' a bloody virgin, ya pommy bastard? (WHAM!) What, just because I have a cross necklace? (WHAM!) It was a gift from my mother, if ya must bloody know! (WHAM!)

She knees Bob in the crotch a third time before Emma drags her away.

By this point, Jake has taken the killer tree's arm off with his sword, and William and Ziggy have taken out the trunk.

Ziggy: Tim-berrrrr!

It decays at super speed, collapsing in a cloud of grey dust and splinters.

Escher looms the defeated cult, while Emma and Jake keep Michelle from beating them to death before Inspector Arnold of Cambridgeshire CID arrives, with the four assassins in the back of his van already.

William: So, what are they going to charge them with?
Jake: Morris dancing...
Emma: Yeah.
Ziggy: Kidnapping, assault, attempted murder... and slander.
Jake: Yeah, 'cos if that 'virgin' thing comes out you'll have people like Jack chasing you.

And on the way home...

Michelle: So, uh, do you do this a lot?
Escher: Ah... No.
Jake: It's not every day you stumble across a murder ritual.
Ziggy: Or a virgin.
Michelle: And the axes?
Jake: Uh... lumber shed.
Michelle: And the crossbows?
William: Archery club practice.
Jake (quietly): Make sure she doesn't see the axes, see they're ours... (normal volume) how about some music?

And so the four-wheel drive heads back to Cambridge with Blur's Country House playing and Michelle looking suspiciously at the group as they avoid her gaze...

Grr! Arg! *shake shake shake of Morris dancer bells*

--

Actual Play bit:

Why yes, it is a bunch of Scary English Village Horror clichés played for laughs. In my defence, I came up with it in an hour flat after unexpected shooting delays prevented the season premiere, freely adapting Cthulhu-style village cults and jokes about tacky packaging of pagan festivals for tourist revenue.

I like Michelle. I think I'll make her a recurring character. Heh heh heh...

Season premiere report in the next 48 hours. Probably.

[Orsino]

Waves of insane jealous emanate from my head. What? My Watch House Sense is tingling!

Fantastic stuff. You have tres witty players. :)

[colbabe]

Try as I might, I can't think about Melissa George without thinking about her in Home and Away. Which, I'm ashamed to admit, I used to watch.

Of course, there is always the more pleasant memory of her being naked in Dark City.

[SteveD]

Of course, there is always the more pleasant memory of her being naked in Dark City.

And dead.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Mutter mutter bloody Strayans mutter...

And a new complimenty type to thank! Thanks Orsino!

[Mantisking]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow.
Ziggy brings up the rear on his brand new kickboard.???? Is that slang for a skateboard in England? Because the kickboard I know is used in a pool.

[sasori]

Yeah, it drew some blank looks with us too, but apparently Kickboard means scooter. Dunno what that is in the US!

Ziggy's player is foreign, so we forgive him much...
;)

[Joe Dizzy]

Kickboard is what the wacky marketing types in Germany have come up with to name "scooters". It's actually a terribly lame translation of the german word for it, but as I couldn't actually remember "scooter" at the time I had to go with whatever popped into my head first.

Joe

[Craig Oxbrow]

I was thinking one of those segmented skateboards that attach to the feet and pivot in the middle.

But no, Ziggy was on a scooter.

:D

[Craig Oxbrow]

Watch House Season 2, Episode 1: Shadows

Milli: Slightly rebellious Watcher-scion asskicker
Ziggy: Wrong place, wrong time guy
William: Nerdish academic, impeccable Watcher student
Jake: Sensitive musician, psychic, babe magnet
Andy: Shy hereditary lycanthrope made good
Jack: Moneyed rugby-playing group Cordy

Emma: Amiable nervous spellcaster, Jake's SO
Escher: Gruff but fatherly Watcher Invigilator
Charlotte: Civilian, history nerd, seeing William

A ruined church lit by flickering torches. A massive vampire wearing a patched leather coat over piecemeal armour raises his sword to the night sky, addressing his fierce-looking followers.

Hulking Vampire: The prophecy comes to pass on the most sacred night, the waning moon of the fourth cycle. Our foes in the Order of Asmengra shall not hold us back. The blind fools in the cult of Carolus shall not stay our bloody hands. The mewling mortal masses shall not so much as delay our ascent! Blood shall run as a mighty torrent! The skies shall split! Nothing can sta - guh!

Half a dozen ragged vampire warriors turn, yellow eyes wide, as their leader clutches the bolt in his chest and collapses into dust.

Milli recocks her crossbow as the rest of the Watch charge...

Assorted crusty vampire swordsmen are cut down in a hail of crossbow bolts before they can unsheathe their blades, Andy hulks out and beats one to death with another one's head, William mistimes an axe swing and pins one's foot to the floor before being punched across the room, Jake stakes the puncher and Milli feints with a sword and thrusts with a stake.

Jake: Uh... something witty!
Vampire Warrior: Huh? foof!

(DP for Jake. We all laughed. Of course, most of us were very, very tired...)

As the Watch return to Escher's office off the history library for tea and bandages, the dust of centuries scatters on the wind.

Milli: Why were they doing this?
William: Ancient prophecy.
Ziggy: They're vampires.
Milli: Yeah, but why?
Ziggy: They're vampires. That was the extent of my argument.
Emma: Fair point.
Milli: It is?

A slight, thin man with shaggy dirty-blonde hair leans out of a broken arch, scratching his scraggly beard before lighting a cigarette, turning to look the way they departed.

Skel: Well now. That was fun, wunnit... But this... this is where things get really interesting...

Credits!

--

Theme: Ash, Evil Eye

The full moon over Cambridge, behind the tower of King's College Chapel (http://www.kings.cam.ac.uk/chapel/gallery/).

The Watch House

Shawn Wayans (http://www-personal.umich.edu/~patanash/thewayans/wayans_shawn01.gif) as Ziggy Roots - looking around warily, wielding an unwieldy candleholder, flailing with a burning torch, ducking under a swipe from an orange-skinned arm.

Sophia Myles (http://media.movieweb.com/gallery/633/uw_20.jpg) with pink hair as Milli Blackhurst - fighting with a sword, firing a crossbow, kicking the crossbow bolt lodged in a vampire's arm into its heart, looking intense.

A vampire smacking into the Shield and being hit by a crossbow bolt as he staggers back.

Mark Hamilton (http://www.amh-ash.freeserve.co.uk/pictures/markwave.jpg) as William Grove - flicking through a book, looking puzzled, wielding a stake warily, hefting an axe with a manly snarl.

James McAvoy (http://www.jamesmcavoy.com/albums/album02/jimmy.sized.jpeg) as "Jake" - elbowing a vampire in the face, clutching his head as a vision hits him, playing his guitar, standing with his shirt off (http://www.jamesmcavoy.com/albums/album21/Image1.sized.jpg) for no apparent reason.

A group of vampires stepping out of a shimmering portal in mid air.

Hans Matheson (http://uhms.thathughsongirl.com/CIHeadshot.jpg) as Andy Sampson - looking confused, looking angry (http://uhms.thathughsongirl.com/ArtZhivago.jpg), looking glowy-eyed... Then an image of Andy's lycanthropic form, rearing up and howling at the moon.

Someone like James Van Der Beek (http://www.allposters.com/IMAGES/54/039_36509.jpg) as Jack Stevenson - shoulder-barging a door, giving Milli a boost, getting punched in the face, crashing into someone else and falling over.

Laura Fraser (http://www.miranda-richardson.com/laurafraser/lflaurfr34.jpg ) as Emma Radcliffe - blasting the power thief, flicking desperately through a book, dancing in Jake's arms, smirking.

Alfred Molina (http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hc&id=1800018903&cf=pg&photoid=470531&intl=us) as Michael Escher - looking around warily, taking off his glasses, loading a crossbow, slamming a book shut and standing.

Milli and Escher fighting back-to-back with swords. A dozen vampires charging. Jake beheading a Kejalda. Three Rashnakh Demons charging on all fours towards the camera. Gravestones, skulls, Ziggy sitting in a circle of burning candles, sinister rituals, strange flashes of intense light. William in a tuxedo talking with Charlotte (Kelly Harrison (http://www.holby.tv/images/Web/wpe466.jpg)), bodies being flung through the air, Jack hanging off a harpy's leg in midair, Emma smashing a bottle of holy water against a vampire's head, Milli roundhouse kicking a vampire in the face, the full moon again, and the show logo and the Watch loading up and striding purposely in slow-motion towards the camera...

Created by Whedon, Carella, Oxbrow, Dizzy, Cat, Windmill, Robertson, Prentice, Neil and Darlington

[Craig Oxbrow]

Interior: Escher's office. Night.
Escher inspects a sword, and then sets it down on the table.

Escher: Well. It looks like the Order of the Seventh Sword is out of business. But with the servants of Asmengra and Carolus both seeking the same prize, we're hardly out of the woods yet. Still, well begun is... about a third done. Well, more like a fifth really, considering how many worshippers Asmengra has... Maybe a sixth...
Jake: Oh, don't be such a pessimist.

Ziggy: Sword of Asyenga? Didn't Pink Floyd do an album called that?
Jake: Yeah, probably. Maybe a Best Of.
Ziggy: Pink Floyd did a Best Of?
Andy: How'd they do that?
Jake: Good question.
Andy: I mean, they do albums.
Jake: Well, you get the CD, then you burn it and throw it into the Cam with Jack's CDs.
Milli: Y'know, apparently Chris de Burgh's psychic.
Jake: That's it, I renounce my powers. Please drill a hole in my head.

Milli: So, evil followers? What they doin'?
Escher: Hm? Oh, yes. It would appear that tomorrow night is the waning moon of the fourth cycle, when, hmm. Have to look that up...

Everyone talks quietly and compares unsightly bruises.

Milli: So Andy, how are you with waning moons?
Andy: Oh, waning's not a problem. Anyway, I can change at any time.
Emma: What a comfort...
Andy: And also not change at any time.

Escher: Ah. Here we are. The waning moon of the fourth cycle. Ah. Ah. Hmm.
Milli: Well?
Escher: Well. Ah. "Thou must disinter the long-dead Prince of War, let the wan moon's light caress his bones, and he shall rise at his full strength, most unholie and filled with the fire and fury of the nether realms."
Jake: It's amazing that you can all that with a straight face.
Milli: So, thou must... we wouldn't want to do that.
Escher: Well, no, they do. Clearly this is related to the Dark Ages tombs under the church in Martinwood.
Milli: Clearly. So they want to... dig him up and wave him at the moon?
Escher: Essentially, yes...
Milli: And then, what?
Jake: Well, you're a war god, obviously you're gonna help a bunch of little-league vampires.
Milli: Well, maybe he's grateful. And obviously he likes war.

Jake: So, what's the timetable on this?
Escher: The waning moon begins tomorrow, lasts for most of a week after that.
Milli: If we go dig the bones up, during the day...
Jake: We'll need a licence or we'll get arrested.
Milli: Like we have a licence for opening locked doors with bits of wire.

Jake: Anyway, we did the bones up and get rid of them somehow. Smash them, or keep them here.
Escher: Not in my office.
Jake: Inside the Shield.
Emma: Yes, because it's kept all the demons out before...
Jake: Well, we'll worry about all that later...

And so the plan is agreed. After William's morning lecture, they'll drive to the small nearby town of Martinwood and inspect the site.

Morning lectures turn to lunch on the tables outside the pub. It's a bright, clear Thursday afternoon and the air is starting to feel temperate rather than cool. Ash's Someday plays softly in the background. William and Charlotte talk happily...

And then a tall, broad man with brutally short hair looms over their table.

Mac: You spill my pint?
William: Um, no. I've never even met you before.
Mac: Don't mean you didn't.

And with that, he puts a calloused hand on William's shoulder.

Mac: You should be careful about such things.

And he smiles menacingly and steps back.

Charlotte: Wha... whuh... What was that about?
William: I don't know. That was... fairly random.

The big man lumbers down the street toward a visitors' car park and gets into a two-year-old Renault.

Skel: Make contact?
Mac: After a fashion, guv. Skinny guy looked nervous in front a' his lil gel.
Skel: Keep 'em wondering, I suppose. Anyway, you nick his keys?
Mac: Aye aye cap'n.
(Milli's player : Oh no.)

And the two of them step out of the car, Skel pausing to light another smoke as they head over to William's room on King's Stair Three...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Martinwood Parish Church is... nice. Rather picturesque. Pokey.

Jake: Not really the sort of place you'd look for the esteemed god of war.

The group split up and look around, inside and out. Jake spots a blackened area in the graveyard. Milli (cunningly disguised in dungarees and a baseball cap to look more like she should be working) tilts her head to get a better look at what Jake found, steps back, and trips over a gravestone.

Jake: Want a hand up there?
Milli: Fine. I'm fine.

She looks like she wants the Prince of War to burst out of the ground and eat her... Nobody really notices.

(Disastrous Notice roll, Drama Point for being the first Cast Member to trip over a gravestone.)

Ziggy idly sings along to Travis. Jake paces out the dark ground, taking care not to actually set foot on it.

Jake: This looks promising in a Nyaaaaaah! kinda way.
Milli: Or a... church burns it rubbish here kinda way.
Ziggy: Touch it. Go on, touch it.

Jake: So it's about coffin-shaped.
Emma: But about eight and a half feet long.
Milli: Someone has to dig. We can all stand around... like we're paying our respects.
Jake: We were coming here to take a look and then make a decision.
Milli: I've decided.
William: And we brought spades and got the archaeology permit and everything.

Jake nods and wills himself to put a hand on the ground. Something below freezes and burns at the same time. He jumps back.

Jake: Oh yeah, this is it.

Cut to Andy, Ziggy, Milli and Emma digging as Jake and William keep watch.

Emma: Is it just me or are we digging while two of the guys aren't?
Milli: Yeah... well, Jake's got that supervision and superhearing and all.
William: And I'm wounded.
Emma: He barely tapped you.
Jake: All right, all right. But we need a digging song. Something repetitive.
Ziggy: Girls, no fun... Oh girls, they're no fun...
Milli: We'll have to go on a girls' night out.
Ziggy: Can I come? That'd be fun.
Milli: See? We're fun.
Ziggy: To see you get in trouble and have to call us to save you.
Emma: Like you had to call me to save you.
Jake: Uh... yeah!

The spades hit something solid after a few inches. Finding the edges and levering up the heavy oak cover, they find that there is indeed a demonic-looking skeleton in this seven-foot grave. And it's doubled over.

Milli: Yike.
Emma: Yeah.
Milli: Oh, it's a... a... starts with an H... demon.
Jake: Well, the vamps will know we came... Everyone put the grass back down...
William: Should we leave them a note?
Milli: "This space to let."
Jake: "Gone fishing. Back in three days."

They carefully gather and bundle up the bones, in binbags within binbags.

Andy: Someone should, um, test it. Just want to make sure.
Milli: This is just an excuse to gnaw on the bones, isn't it? Hey, would eating them destroy them?
Andy: I'm not eating the demon prince!

Back to the office.

Milli: So Mister Escher, we got the bones.
Jake: They're real nasty.
Escher: Ah, yes. A Hanelorga demon. Particularly large example. They're extinct now, thankfully.
Milli: That was on the tip of my tongue.
Escher: Well, we have to dispose of them.
Ziggy: Let's try the old-fashioned approach.

Ziggy takes a lump hammer to one of the small knuckle bones. It doesn't break.

Ziggy: Owwww. Okay, smashing not an option.
Escher: Maybe drop them in concrete?
Ziggy: Could be bad for the building.
Andy: Ooohhh, yeah. You put something demony in the foundations and the whole building goes evil.
Escher: Where did you read that?
Andy: Uh... a Hellraiser movie.
Milli: There's a new carpark going up. Carparks are evil anyway.

Everyone looks at Milli. She shrugs lightly.

Jake: Let's not put all our monster bones in the one basket. Spread them out into a few bags, dispose of them separately.
Escher: Perhaps the medical waste incinerator? It gets hotter than furnaces could in the Twelfth Century.
Andy: Throw some into the sea?
Milli: A day at the beach! Cool! Maybe we can go paddling too!

Most of our heroes help mix up the bones and prepare them to be concreted over. William goes to Mrs. Green's Classical History lecture, then walks Charlotte back to her room.

Charlotte: Aaah, end of the week. Weekend. Only a morning lecture to go. Um... you want to have lunch? Maybe a picnic if the weather holds?
William: Ah, yes, that sounds nice.
Charlotte: It's a date. (smiles to herself.) Date. I'll see you tomorrow then.

And she tiptoes up and kisses him on the cheek. And then looks a bit awkward, hiding a smile.

And William heads off to find... His keys are missing. Or rather, they're in his door. Which is open.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Lots of stuff has been shifted, nothing's obviously missing... except a chicken sandwich from the fridge. Looking around, he calls Milli.

William: My flat's been broken into...
Milli: Oh God. Is anyone there?
William: No, but it was really strange... they had my keys.
Milli: When did you see them last?
William: This morning, when I went out.
Milli: Well, did anyone have a chance to lift them, at your lectures or something?
William: Maybe... maybe it was this strange guy.
Milli: Strange guy...
William: It was weird. And rude. He asked if I spilled his pint. I mean, me?

When Milli arrives they look around again. William checks the bathroom and finds a space where his razor should be. And his notebook is down one page, with indentations suggesting the burglars copied down the groups' room and phone numbers...

Milli: That's really not good.
William: Magic?
Milli: Magic.
William: That's bad. Better tell the guys.
Milli: Really bad. And I'll tell Emm-Maaa...

She makes a face and sticks her tongue out as she calls Jake and lets him know.

Milli: And I'll tell Emma.
Jake: She's right here.
Milli: Oh. Of course she is.

Jake: Hey Zig, William's been burgled. How's your flat looking?
Ziggy: I can't see the floor...

Zig heads out, pausing only to tape a hair to the back of his door... then thinks better of it, and heads into the shower room, retrieving a hair from there...

Heading over to Escher's office, the gang discuss the possibilities of this threat. Milli paces nervously.

Milli: Hair for magic... voodoo?
Jake: Voodoo?
Ziggy: Blood, killing chickens?
Jake: They did take a chicken sandwich.
Ziggy: There you go then.
Jake: Did they take his dolls as well?
William: (gasp!) Oh no!

Escher: Well, let's see. Voodoo is a form of sympathetic magic, of course.
Milli: Not very sympathetic to William. So how much can they do?
Escher: With what they retrieved from a razor? Probably just divination.
Milli: Well, what can we do? Put a shield up around William?

Andy: It could just be an ordinary break-in. One of the other students.
Milli: A normal student wouldn't... well, they would take the sandwich. And your computer. But not your razor...

Milli: Well, we can't stop. We'll dispose of more of the bones tonight, and dump some into the sea tomorrow.
William: I can't make it tomorrow.
Milli: Aw, no.
William: I'll just have to stay in the pub instead.

Our heroes keep busy. Jake sneaks into the building site and drops a bagful of Prince of war bones into the concrete. Ziggy heads off to the pub. Milli scrubs her flat clean.

And so to bed.

And in the morning, Jake stumbles into his bathroom, confirms his razor's there... and then looks in the mirror and sees no reflection.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Emma rolls over and shakes herself awake as Jake screams.

Emma: What, what is it?

He comes out of the bathroom and pulls her in, so she can see that she has no reflection either.

Emma: Oh no. Oh no. Okay... I'm just gonna open the window and stick my hand out, in the sun... okay, not burning. We're not vampires.
Jake: We're just invisi-WE'RE INVISIBLE!
Emma: Okay. We need to, uh, call the others. And, I need to sit down.

Emma taps her canine teeth and makes snarly faces, just in case, as Jake calls the others.

Ziggy: Nuuuh? Time is it?
Jake: Go to the bathroom.
Ziggy: Whuh? Right... aaaoww!
Jake: What?
Ziggy: Stubbed my toe. Hang on.
Jake: Look in the mirror.
Ziggy: Oh. Mirror's broken...

William staring wide-eyed at the empty mirror.

William: Yes. I'm looking at it now.

Andy: How am I going to shave?

Jake: Hi, have you been in the bathroom this morning?
Milli: Uh... pardon? I cleaned my teeth...
Jake: Were your eyes open?
Milli: ... Mostly...

She goes to look. Her eyes widen.

Jake: Mil? You there?
Milli: No I'm not. Okay. I take it because you're ringing me you can see this too.

She taps the mirror, breathes on it (getting condensation, which itself does not reflect), takes it off the wall and checks it against everything else, waves things around in front of it, looks in other reflective surfaces...

Getting dressed (and confirming that her clothes vanish from the mirror as soon as she puts them on) Milli heads to Escher's office.

Andy looks outside and calls to his passing neighbours. They ignore him. Stepping out, they swerve around him without seeming to notice him at all.

Ziggy, meanwhile, goes straight for the girls' showers.

Reaching Escher's office, Milli knocks quickly and comes in, leaving the door open for William as he rushes to catch up.

Milli: Mister Escher Mister Escher we're...
Escher: Hello? Anyone there?
Milli: Oh God...

Our heroine's eyes widen as Escher walks right past her to look out of the (to him) mysteriously opened door.

Milli: Oh no...
Escher: Anybody? Tsk.

She tries to prod him on the shoulder, and he instinctively leans away. She tries again, faster, and he does it again. She tries a kick, and he steps just out of the way.

And then he shuts the door in William's face.

Running to his desk as he shakes his head, Milli grabs a pen and scrawls on a piece of paper:

THIS IS MILLI. YOU DON'T SEE ME, HEAR ME, OR FEEL IT WHEN I TRY TO HIT YOU.

Escher seats himself, and looks up as the door opens again.

Milli: William! Eschercan'tseeorhearus!

Then he looks down at the note, and looks up with this expression (http://www.cineclub.de/images/2003/09/identitaet_5.jpg).

Escher: Milli?
Milli: YES!
Escher: Are you still there? One knock for yes, two for... well, none for no, I suppose.

One knock, then she boots up the office computer and starts typing.

Milli typing: DO YOU HAVE ANY INK OR
Milli: Gah, capitals...
Milli typing: any other liquid in the room?
Escher: Some correction fluid?

He holds up a bottle, she takes it from his hand and, from his POV, we see a white handprint appear in mid-air and slap down on a piece of paper. It fades again as it dries, leaving Milli's hand white and itchy.

Milli typing: So now you know we're here.
Escher: Someone's here, anyway.
Milli typing: Ask something only I would know. I hate visiting my parents!
Escher: Okay, it's you.

Milli takes out her phone and rings the office line.

Escher: Hello?
Milli: Can you hear me?
Escher: Hello? Can't hear anything.
Milli: Great...

The others arrive.

Escher: Who was that?
Milli typing: The others. Ziggy's grinning...

Ziggy: This is a great day!
Milli: What? We're invisible!
Jake: Why's it a great day?
Ziggy: I have a camera!
Milli: And you showed up in the camera?
Ziggy: Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. That's it. That's what I'd do when invisible.
Milli: I'm quite concerned that I don't seem to be real except to you guys.
Ziggy: C'mon. You oughtta look on the bright side.
Emma: Bright side?
Ziggy: 'Oh I'm so sad, oh the vampires are attacking again, oh Jake's with Emma...'
Jake: What?
Emma: Huh?
Milli: You... I... you went to the girls' changing rooms? You sexist bastard!
Emma: Huh?

Mil kicks Ziggy in the shin.

Ziggy: Ow... I have to enjoy life. What it's for.
Andy: What's sexist about that?

Ziggy thumps against the desk as Emma kicks him.

Escher: What was that?
Milli typing: Em kicking Ziggy.
Escher: Ah, right.

Milli: Well, I'm going to stay here and try to find a way to make me visible again at least.
Ziggy: Always all about you! Should have some fun with this!
Milli: The only thing fun that I can think of is sneaking up on my parents... and I guarantee it'd wear off halfway through.
Emma: And taking dirty pictures of unsuspecting girls isn't my idea of fun!
Milli: Yeah! I mean, what if Charlotte had been there?
Ziggy: I'd have looked away...
William: Oh God, Charlotte!
Milli: What?
William: I'm supposed to be meeting her in four hours!
Jake: You need someone to get her a note. "Sorry Charlotte, you can't see me right now". Heh.
Milli: That sounds like he's dumping her.
William: What do I do...
Milli: Family emergency. Nobody ever asks. At least, not with my family...

As the girls attempt to calm William down, the boys discuss what to do.

Jake: We should check on Jack. (writes a note, holds it up)

Escher: Ah yes, just calling to see if Jack Stevenson is in? Oh, he is? Thank you.
Ziggy: Well, we got to annoy Jack.
Andy: Definitely.

A book floats past Escher's face.

Escher: William? Good lad. I think some research would be a good idea... Although I have one suspect right away.

And he points at the remaining bag of Prince of War parts...

Grr! Arg!
Mutant Enemy dressed as the Invisible Man...

[Craig Oxbrow]

Next time on The Watch House:
Milli vaulting over a table and kicking a vampire in the face.
Emma flicking quickly through a heavy leather-bound book.
A stake floating up behind a vampire.
Rosalind slapping Jack.
Escher tripping over a pile of books.
William looking nervous as Charlotte looks right past him.
Moonlight streaming onto the Prince of War's skull, and a fiery glow igniting in the sockets...
Escher V/O: The next episode of The Watch House is Stand There In The Dark Until You See. This Sunday.

--

Actual Play bit:

My control of pacing is mostly down to my reticence as a Director, which is pretty bad. As such, the cliffhanger was something of a damp squib, although I definitely intended to give the players a few minutes to freak out in-character when they found out they were invisible...

Of course, the pre-credits dustup taking forty minutes of a three-hour session didn't help this time. We need to get faster with combat. Maybe I should dial the detail level back down again.

Great episode, and it would have been worth it just for the players' expressions as they realised they were invisible...

[Emprint]

Good read, as usual. I especially like William's freak-out. The invisibility gag is good for a variation, too.

Curiousity: are you narrating to the players the stuff that happens when they aren't around?

I sympathize with you on the combat pacing. It's been an issue over in my Demon game, too. We've more or less ditched dice rolling for combat, actually- even though it's fairly quick in Unisystem Lite, it was taking too long for something of its relative importance.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by Emprint
Good read, as usual. I especially like William's freak-out. The invisibility gag is good for a variation, too.
I thank you. :D
Curiousity: are you narrating to the players the stuff that happens when they aren't around?
Yep, I run "cut aways" pretty much as I write them up. It means trusting the players not to use their out-of-character knowledge, but it;s worth it because it helps to build a TV series feel. That said, I may have overdone it with the Valdermars (who hardly appeared outside of cut aways).

[Emprint]

Yep, I run "cut aways" pretty much as I write them up. It means trusting the players not to use their out-of-character knowledge, but it;s worth it because it helps to build a TV series feel. That said, I may have overdone it with the Valdermars (who hardly appeared outside of cut aways). [/B]

Cool. I do the same thing in Donjon. I actually wrote a bunch for Demon, but haven't really used them (other than the episode-starting flashbacks). I was going to post them in the thread, but then the player invaded. ;o)

[morgue]

This reads like the first half of a really good episode.

In other words, I think your pacing is fine, in terms of story. In terms of fitting-story-ups-and-downs-into-limited-realtime, maybe a bit wonky.

Yay! More!

~`morgue

[Craig Oxbrow]

Yay! More!

This was always going to be a two-parter, it was just a question of whether it was a two-session two-parter or a one-big-sessioner. And not knowing, I figured the latter, and thus we stopped at a less dramatic point than would have been ideal.

Oh well, more to come next week. Invisible Prentices and duelling monster cults and big noisy spell effects and a Scooby Doo ending and Jack getting slapped by Rosalind. :D

[Craig Oxbrow]

Watch House Season 2, Episode 2: Stand There In The Dark Until You See

Milli: pink-haired can of Watcher trainee whupass, pining for Jake
Ziggy: Jamaican supernatural war refugee providing much-needed sarcasm
William: bookish Watcher trainee starting to get a life
Jake: dashing kickass psychic guitar player
Andy: spawn of accursed lycanthropic lineage, nice guy otherwise

Jack: still a rugby player and currently an NPC
Escher: slightly bearlike Watchers' trainer
Emma: Jake's enchanting but sarky SO
Charlotte: William's wholly unaware student girlfriend
Michelle: psychology student curious about the guys who rescued her from "virgin" sacrifice
Rosalind: daughter of the Earl of Hertfordshire, King's College "head girl"
Skel: scuzzy agent of dark forces
Mac: lumbering agent of dark forces

Previously on The Watch House...

Our heroes taking out an order of vampire warriors.

Escher: "Thou must disinter the long-dead Prince of War, let the wan moon's light caress his bones, and he shall rise at his full strength, most unholie and filled with the fire and fury of the nether realms."
Jake: So we dig them up first, before the other cults get to them...

The Watch looking nervously at an open grave containing the skeleton of a fourteen-foot demon...

Milli: And then bury them.

A big shaven-headed guy patting William on the shoulder... and lifting his keys.

William finding his razor's missing.

Milli: So how much can they do?
Escher: With what they retrieved from a razor? Probably just divination...

Milli looking at her lack of reflection wide-eyed, tapping the mirror, breathing on it, looking behind it...

Jake: Mil? You there?
Milli: No I'm not...

Jake: We're invisible!

Milli: Mister Escher Mister Escher we're...
Escher: Hello? Anyone there?
Milli: Oh God...

William: Oh God, Charlotte!
Milli: What?
William: I'm supposed to be meeting her in four hours!

Ziggy: 'Oh I'm so sad, oh the vampires are attacking again, oh Jake's with Emma...'
Jake: What?
Emma: Huh?

Escher: I think some research would be a good idea... although I have one suspect right away.

As he looks at the bag of bones.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Nobody notices William as he heads over to the Trinity College library. Literally nobody. Cyclists swerve around him too late and he has to dodge out of the way. He looks in on Professor Kelly (Doug Bradley (http://www.dougbradley.co.uk/images/Visions/07_Doug2.jpg)) lecturing on Renaissance history, and spots Charlotte sitting near the front, glancing around and furrowing her brow. He waves as her eyes pass over him... and keep going.

Milli's player: Nothing? Not even a little pause? Oh God...

Milli, Jake and Emma sit quietly looking through the spell collection, occasionally glancing at each other, noticing the looks, and looking away... Andy reads through a book without noticing...

Ziggy gets ready to head over to see what's happened to Jack, and do mean things to him if he can't see him.

Ziggy: I might need help. Come on.
Andy: Ah...
Milli (quietly): ohmygodyoucan'tleavemeherelikethis!
Ziggy: You know you want to...
Andy: Not being invisible is more important than being mean to Jack.
Milli: Yes. It is.
Ziggy: Dude, she's brainwashed you.

Milli gives Andy the biggest smile he's ever seen.

Milli's player: Out of character, there will be revenge. When I can, he's going down.

Jack: Hey, what's up?
Ziggy: You can see me?
Jack: Uh... yes ?
Ziggy: Damn it! Never mind.

And he stomps off, leaving Jack looking confused.

CREDITS!

Escher reads through a typically heavy tome on Demonology.

Escher: Anyone there?
Milli types YES.
Escher: The Hanelorga. Fire and ice, regeneration in moonlight... nothing about invisibility...
Milli: Well, that was about as useful as a hole in the head. Thanks a lot.

Ziggy returns.

Andy: So...
Ziggy: What?
Andy: Was he visible?
Ziggy: Who?
Andy: Jack.
Ziggy: Oh, yeah.
Milli: He can see us? Oh thank God... why isn't he with you?
Ziggy: It's Jack!
Milli: But he can interpret for us...
Escher: Who was that?
Milli typing: Ziggy. Jack can see and hear us.
Escher: So why isn't he here?
Milli typing: It's Jack.
Milli: So, yeah, why not?
Ziggy: Again, it's Jack.
Jake: Last hope of mankind...
William: I'll go get him.

The group lapses into silence again. Ziggy checks for occult occurrences listed in Sports Illustrated. Finding none, he gets up.

Ziggy: Well I'm off to look in Escher's diary.
Milli: You can't do that!
Ziggy: Sure I can.
Milli: It's... um... almost like a waste of your invisibility. I mean, who's going to catch you?
Ziggy: Am I not allowed to be curious?
Milli: Well, yeah, I'm sure he has some crazy-ass past and secrets –

Cut to Escher sitting and reading, adjusting his glasses and stirring his tea, as they argue around him...

Milli: But why now? And I respect his privacy. As well as the women in the showers!
Ziggy: What? That was funny.
Milli: I was thinking more perverted.
Ziggy: Eh, you have no sense of humour.
Milli: I have a sense of humour!
Ziggy: You never laugh at my jokes.
Milli: That says more about your jokes than it does about me!
Emma: It says they're lame.
Milli: Girl's got a point.
Ziggy: Nuh uh.
Jake: Girl's got a point.
Milli: Because I'm right and you're wrong.
Ziggy: Yeah, I'm rubber, you're glue.
Jake: Huh?
Milli: I don't get it. Anyway, they're backing me up.
Ziggy: No, he's backing her up. Big difference.
Jake: No, I'm backin' 'em both up.

Ziggy shakes his head and stomps off, again.

Milli: I'm rubber, you're glue?
Emma: It bounces off me and sticks to you.
Jake: Okay, that makes less sense.
Emma: I know it from Charlie Brown...

Meanwhile, William knocks on Jack's door.

William: Hey Jack, has anything strange happened to you today?
Jack: Well, Ziggy came over...

William drags Jack over to the mirror. There's Jack, and no William.

Jack: Nyahh!
William: Yeah. We're invisible, except you can see us.
Jack: What is, I, wha?
William: We're not vampires or any -

Jack makes a cross with his fingers.

Jack: Back!... Oh. Right. Um.
William: So, we could do with your help.
Jack: So you guys are all invisible?
William: Yeah.
Jack: I feel all left out now...
William: Mister Escher can't see or hear us either. Just another problem in the long list of problems we've had today... Hey, how about I drive? You can pretend you're driving by remote control...

William smirks off Jack's look, and we cut back to Escher flicking through another demonology text.

Escher: Hmm. Here's something though. "The bones of the Prince of War are as stone when he sleeps as one dead. Only as... the waning moon bathes them and they begin to bleed, to grow flesh... do they soften and become as the bones of men. Then alone can they be split and sundered, and the Hanelorga Prince truly slain as his skull be cleft in twain." Oh... damn.
Milli: Oh.
Emma: Damn.
Andy typing: So, if we want to smash the bones, we have to dig them up again?
Escher: Exactly.
Milli shoving Andy aside and typing: Couldn't you have told us that before?
Escher: It wasn't in the original chronicle. The army that defeated him must not have known that. Er, sorry.
Milli typing: Can any part of him regenerate him?
Escher: It would appear that the skull is the seat of his power.
Milli typing: And we already buried that in concrete. So is it worth digging it up?
Jake: It's good to be sure, and it'll stop the evil carpark syndrome.
Milli: Nothing can stop that. There's millions of them all over the world...
Escher: Aside from the certainty of his actual death, there are the other cults. They may have some members able to breach the Shield, and perhaps they can find the bones through magic...

Milli yells in frustration and roundhouse kicks the door shut. In Jack's face.

Jack: Yow!
Milli: Oh God, William!
Jack: Dad's bwuddy vrenly izzen id? By bwuddy doze... Dowww. Worryin' boud Villyum...
Milli: You can hear me?

She grins, almost hugs Jack, skids to a halt and gives him a matey tap on the arm.

Milli: Sorry about that, didn't see you there! Ha ha!

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Escher: So, Jack, you can see through this effect?
Jack: Yeah, apparently.
Milli: So you're now our only point of contact with the whole world.
Emma: Apart from typing. And writing. And throwing things.
Milli: Apart from all that. Ziggy already used his 'power' for bad...
Jack: Naturally...

Jake: So why's Jack immune? If this has been done and it wasn't the big bad demon...
Jack: There was a big bad demon?
Milli: He's all bones now.
Jack: Uh, good?

William: Anyway, could you do me a favour? I need you to give Charlotte this note telling her I can't come...
Milli: Did you tell her what happened?
William: Not in so many words...

Jake: Well, anyway, if it wasn't him, it must have been someone else. So there are two or three contingents of vampires after the bones. They can't come into the Shield... as far as we know... so someone else?
Milli: We all protected our rooms. We'd have noticed if somebody broke in.
Jake: Would we? They made it obvious with Will's room.
Milli: They took a list of our names and room numbers.
Jake: But we'd been away all day.
Milli: Oh yeah...
Jake: They coulda searched our rooms but not been obvious about it.
Milli: Urg.
Jake: But, why make us invisible but not kill us? Pain and misery without killing... we can't fight, we can't interfere, maybe it's to stop us doing something.
Emma: Well, this is a bummer but it's not exactly pain and misery. Except for William.
Milli: There was the chick. Victoria. I mean, we dropped a house on her but she might not be dead. And she could hire people.
Jake: I dunno, she seems more like she'd want to toy with us more... hands on. Uh, don't ask me how I know.
Emma: How you know?
Milli: I wanna know too.
Jake: It was a vision. She was all torturey and... (mimes touching something at chest height) hands on.

Ziggy returns and, hearing the conversation, chips in:

Ziggy: Maybe it's not someone out to get us. Maybe it's us from the future!
Milli: Uh, yeah... it does have a very Ziggy or Jack theme.
Jack: Yeah, cos I'm the mighty spellcaster here.
Emma: Hey.
Milli: Emma's invisible. She wouldn't... I guess it's hit the known Watchers in training, so not Jack.
Jake: But we're not Watchers...
Milli: No, but you're known to be involved.
Emma: Yay us.
Jake: So Jack's left out because he's not a threat?
Jack: I can be a threat if I wanna...
Milli: Yes, loads of girls of my class find you threatening.
Jake: So we're all targets. Except Jack.

Milli: Uh, can you ask Mister Escher if he has any connections we don't have? Enemies, maybe?
Jack: Oh, um, Milli wants to know if you have any enemies that aren't general Watcher enemies.
Escher: Enemies? Uh... no, can't think of any...
Jake: Any exes who are witches?
Milli: He must've. Everybody's doing it, all the cool kids - don't tell him that!
William: Won't be as popular once they start burning them again, like in the old days.
Emma: I am [I]so not a witch.
Jake: Well, so, what do you prefer?
Emma: Um.
Milli: Girl? Girl who casts spells occasionally?
Emma: Well, I don't want to put a label on it. It's just like some people can cook well, but they're not cooks. Well, they're not full time cooks...

Milli: Anyway. Forget about who did it, we need to work out how to not, to do it. As people who speak English put it.

Escher looks at his bookshelf, frowns, steps back, trips over a pile of books, checks through them and looks around.

Escher: Do any of you have the Goldcrest volume on divination and scrying? I can see the Asquith and the Van Dyck, the De La Poer is here... but I have a fourth book on the subject...

He looks under the table.

Milli: They broke in here and stole a book? Who the hell are these people?
Ziggy: For scrying out loud!

Jake throws a book at Zig's head.

Escher: Is that it?
Ziggy: Just for that you're not getting a donut.
Jack: You have donuts?
Milli: Are these someone else's donuts?
Ziggy: I resent that implication. I found them... at some... police station.
Milli: You didn't!
William: Good donuts.
Milli: I can't believe you're condoning this behaviour.
William: I'm hungry...
Jake: He didn't really. Probably swiped them from the canteen.
Milli: That isn't any better. It's less dangerous but it isn't any better.

Milli: Are there any more copies of this book?
Jack: Are there any more copies of this book?
Escher: In Oxford.
Milli: Let's go to Oxford then!
Jack: She wants to go. Like now.
Escher: It may be faster to phone.

Andy returns.

Ziggy: Donut?
Milli: Stolen donut?
Andy: Ooh, thanks. Have you got any of the strawberry ones with the icing?

Skel chain lights a cig and looks around.
Skel: Nah then. Where are they?
As Mac keeps a lookout, he takes a multilock to Andy's door, twists it forcefully and shoves the door open.
Skel: Tch. What a mess. Guess he's really taking to this whole student thing, in'e?

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Ziggy: Have we finished looking up old books yet?
Milli: We've sent for another actually. And there'd better be a spell in it to fix this, or I'm gonna kick Escher... not like he can feel it anyway.
Ziggy: Hey Jack, tell -
Milli: NO.

Jake: Hey Jack, did you feel it when she hit you?
Jack: Yeah... And I'd have said yeah anyway so you wouldn't hit me to test it.
Jake: Right. Hey, ask Escher what he sees.

Jake picks up a sword from the rack of weapons, holding it by the blade.

Escher (matter-of-fact): I see a sword floating in mid air.

Jake takes it by the handle. In Escher's POV it vanishes, handle first, up to the tip.

Escher: And now it's vanished.
Jake: Right, it's all about how things are used whether they vanish, that's how Ziggy could take the pictures.
Milli: You gotta stop reminding me of that. I still want to kick him.
Jake: Probably means I can't play my guitar.
Milli: Aw no. You should go get it and we can find out. The sounds come from you.
Jake: Well, my amp.
Jack: Yes, because that's what's important.
Milli: It's important to Jake.

Jake looks sidelong at Milli. Milli looks away.

Ziggy: So if something's important to Jake that's fine, but not to me. Is that how it is?
Milli: Erm...
Emma: If you have to ask, you'll never know...

Escher looks up at a knock at the door. Professor Baker, Master of the College, stands in the doorway. Jake sneaks behind him and makes bunny ears. Jack bites his lip not to laugh.

Baker: Apparently none of your, ah, study group have come to class today.
Milli: Oh no, we're missing lectures as well. What are we gonna do?
Ziggy: Eh, I don't have any lectures till... (looks at his watch) yeah, I'm missing lectures.
Baker: Now, after their rather abrupt departure yesterday and the sudden need for an archaeology trip permit, I'm used to sudden disappearances, but I usually get some reason. So...
Escher: Millicent, pass a book to Jake, would you? (She duly does so.)
Baker: Buha! (sharp intake of breath, then slumps shoulders) Well. Ask a silly question.

And off he goes.

Milli: he took that rather well.
Ziggy: Apart from the screaming. And the running.

William: Um, anyway, it's just about lunchtime. Jack, the note?
Jake: Yeah, send Jack. He won't slip up or let anything out at all.
William: Well I was gonna leave it at her room but she might not go there.
Jake: So go with, and keep his lines straight, in a Cyrano way.
Ziggy: You're Patrick Swayze and he's your Whoopi.
William: Huh? I got the Cyrano reference...

Milli: I could go with you, and keep Jack in line.
William: It's all rather... complicated.
Jake: Welcome to the world of girls.

Milli and Emma glare at Jake. He returns to the supremely difficult task of getting his jacket.

Ziggy: I'm coming too.
Milli: We need as many people on the books as possible.
Ziggy: Whatever...
Milli: When I kick you, you still feel it.

Jake: You go, I'll stay with Emma.
Ziggy: Good call.

Mill slaps Zig.

Zig: What?

Finding Charlotte seated at one of the outdoor tables at the Brody, Jack heads over.

Jack: Hi, um, William wanted me to give you this. He had to go do a project thing.
Charlotte: When will he be back?
William: Soon!
Jack: Well, uh, I dunno, soon? Maybe in the...
Milli: Shut up!
Jack: Um. He's not sure.
Charlotte: I've been trying to call him.
Jack: Um, yeah, bad reception or, something.
Milli: Stop talking now. Back away. (to William) Is there anything you want to say?
William: Nothing I want to say through Jack.

As Jack backs away, Michelle waves him over.

Michelle: Hey, have you seen Jake and that today? Jake wasn't in class, and none of them are here.
Jack: I, um, uh (looks desperately to William and Milli, then around) Hey, Ros!

He retreats to talk to Rosalind, leaving Michelle confused. And not just Michelle.

Milli: What was that about? Did he just run away from her?
Ziggy: Well, he's a terrible liar.
Milli: But that was really fast... Jack, are you in wuv with Michelle? You wanna hold her hand?
Jack: (go away) So anyway, how are the preparations for the Spring Mingle going?
Rosalind: Oh it's early days yet, I haven't even prodded Amanda to help me...

And then Ziggy sneaks an arm around her waist. She stiffens, scowls, slaps Jack and stomps off. Ziggy smirks. Milli furrows her brow very slightly...

Jake, seeking space to think, heads for his room... passes Andy's... and sees the door open. Leaning in, he confirms there's nobody there now... and gets a mental image of Skel and Mac opening it...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Jake rushes back to find the others assembling, Escher pacing on the phone, William tapping his mobile, Jack grumbling...

Jake: Andy, I think your room's been raided.

Cut to Andy's room. It looks just as much of a mess as it did beforehand.

Andy: They tore my Howling poster!
Milli: A poster you howl at?
Andy: My poster for The Howling.
Milli: Uh, okay, I'm gonna check my room.
Ziggy: Me too.

Andy sniffs around, determines two men were indeed here, and finds that the hair and gunk from his plughole are missing.

Andy: Uh... bad... I think...

Milli calls Jake, back at the office.

Milli: You know that trick where you can open doors? Do you know alarms? I was just thinking I could do with one.
Jake: William might be the guy to talk to about that... oh, and by the way, Jack just came in with the skull.

Sure enough, Jack has returned with a hammer and a bag of Hanelorga demon bones. The right one, even. Milli ponders this, and calls Emma.
Milli's player: See, I don't just call you!

Milli: Hi, I was just thinking, I know you know warding spells...
Emma: Well, against vampires, and to seal magical portals...
Milli: Well, could you come up with something for normal people? Could you try and botch something together?
Emma: Sure.

Third person to try is William, and he suggests...

William: I could hook my mobile to the door, to autodial yours when it opens...

Jake: So. They only just got hair from Andy. So that's like three lots of baddies after us!
Andy: So we wait and see what happens to you...
Jake: And you now.
Andy: Oh. Bugger...
Jake: But, anyway, this was probably done so we can't mess with... something.
Milli: Yes, we can.

And she pointedly picks up a crossbow and watches it vanish in the reflection of a window...

Milli: This is important to me. To see if they can see us...

Night falls, and the followers of Carolus are abroad. Their leader raises a burning red gem and circles around slowly. It pulses all the brighter one day, and he smiles, showing fangs. A lackey pipes up:

Lackey: But master, that way is the Watchers' Shield...

Sure enough, as they step forward they pause as the air shimmers ahead of them.

Asmengra: And once again we see why the Vampire must ally himself with others for the great work.

Out step a dozen black-coated figures. Some vampires, but also a stooped figure with four eyes and two short, hunched creatures with bald heads and deranged grins. The speaker lowers his hood, revealing burgundy alligatory skin bristling with horns and sickly yellow eyes.

Asmengra: They cannot even find someone... (he grabs the leader of the Carolus cult) to step through the Shield (and slams him against the Shield, head first) and retrieve (slam) the bones. (SLAM!)

As the cult leader's head shatters and he explodes into dust, Asmengra seizes the glowing gem as it falls from his dusting hand. While his followers tear the vampire cult to shreds, he murmurs to it.

Asmengra: Eye of Hanelorga, find your place, that you might open upon the world once more...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

As the waning moon starts to brighten the night sky in the deserted faculty carpark, William sets down the Prince of War's skull and takes a few practice swings with his axe. Milli looks out.

Milli: Well, here they come.
Andy: What if we can't hurt them?

Jake swings a club against a tree, and it connects solidly.

Jake: We can hurt 'em.
Milli: I'll go after the four, you gotta mind William.

Inside, Escher stops pacing and looks at his desk. There sits the missing book on divination and scrying. He picks it up, scowls, looks around and yells at Jack.

Escher: Who's here?
Jack: Emma and Ziggy.
Escher: So, where did this come from?
Emma: What would I do with a book like... that...?

Emma looks at Ziggy. Ziggy looks at the ceiling...

Outside, Milli takes cover despite herself, sees four black-hooded demons approaching without noticing her, and fires. As the bolt leaves the crossbow, it becomes visible, tip first. But not visible enough to allow Asmengra to dodge it. A perfect strike to the heart. Pity he isn't a vampire.

Asmengra: Nyaaaah! Where are they?

Jake takes his sword to one of the little goblin critters, who recoils out of the way. The four-eyed thing lurches forwards, swinging its clawed arms around in mid-air, as Milli closes to point blank range and fires again. They're surrounded, but invisible...

Andy hangs back to protect William, as the skull's eye sockets fill with a fiery glow and it starts to redden at the joins. He brings his axe down and... gets it caught in the bone of the skull. Looking around as he wrenches it free, he sees Escher, Jack and Emma shouting at Ziggy...

Milli gets ready to shoot one of Asmengra's eyes out, when it suddenly focuses on her.

The demons charging towards the skull pause and look at Milli and Jake.

Asmengra: Ach, kill them!
Milli: You can see me? Well, see this!

And she kicks him in the face.

William sets the skull down again, and the fires of its eyes try to lock with his. He brings the axe down - hard. The skull explodes into fiery bleeding shards!

Asmengra screams in outrage. Milli remembers she has a loaded crossbow and fires a bolt through the demon's palette into his brain. The goblins flee and the four-eyed giant howls. Jake puts the sword to its throat.

Jake: Okay, who are you guys?
Four-eyes: Well, we were the followers of Asmengra.
Jake: Were. I like that.
Four-eyes: I mean, that was Asmengra.
Milli: Oh. Right. Sorry. Well, I'm not really...

And they look down at the crumpled body, and Four-eyes takes a swing at them.

Milli: Kill him together?
Jake: Uh, right...

And so they run back in.

Milli: Mister Escher can you see us?
Escher: Yes, thankfully.
Emma: Do you know what he did? (points at Ziggy)
Milli: What did he do?
Escher: He took the book with the spell and the counterspell!
Jake: Well, there were naked women in his being invisible...
Milli: I'm loading my crossbow...

Jake: You made us invisible!
Ziggy: Not as such...
Jake: So, what, you've got a hobby, you're just not any good at it?
Milli: Oh, well, that's fine then!
Jake: So, what, you cast a spell?
Emma: To stop divination...
Milli: Well, he can cast spells better than you can.
Emma: I really don't think so... I'd really have to mean it to make you invisible.
Milli: But you don't need magic to know I'm going to go to my lectures and then go to the bar...

Ziggy: Look. I happened to know the people doing the divining are people we'd rather not see us.
Milli: How? If you got us in danger...
Ziggy: Because I know them. From back home. They're why I'm here.
Milli: When exactly were you going to tell us this?
Emma: In the fullness of time?
Milli: Don't give him ideas.

Escher: You should have at least told me.
Ziggy: I hoped it wouldn't be a problem. But the harpies, the name they mentioned...
Jake: Skel?
Ziggy: That's him. I might have...
Jake: Pissed off a fairly evil bastard in Jamaica?
Ziggy: One time, this guy wanted to teach someone a lesson. He sent Skel. He put the evil on his family, his friends, his co-workers, even a couple people he met in the street.
Milli: Magic?
Ziggy: And torture.
Milli: So if we were to kill you, would that get rid of him?
Ziggy (quietly): Probably. Look, just don't let them get your blood, or any prized possessions, anything emotionally important...
Milli: I don't really have anything like that.

Ziggy: If it's any consolation they don't need a lot of blood.
Emma: Amazingly, no, it isn't.
Milli: I can't believe you didn't tell us... we are... theoretically your friends.
Jake: It's fine, dude. What we gonna do about it, I dunno.

Ziggy: We could try the spell again. Problem is, casting is as much what you want as what you intend. And I really wanted it to work, so it worked way too well.
Milli: Well, Emma could do it more controllably.
Emma: Right now I'd really want it to work too...
Jake: And he enjoyed it.
Ziggy: Actually it had gotten kinda boring by four. Uh... let's go to the pub.
Jack: You're buying!
Andy: All night!
Jake: All week!
William: Uh, somebody I better see...

Milli: I can't believe you didn't tell us... now I'm wondering what else you didn't tell us...

Ziggy looks down and away as he puts on his jacket...

Grr! Arg!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Next time on The Watch House:
An old dark house.
Infrared footage of a corridor. Nothing happening.
The group assembled around a large dinner table in a gloomy dining room, glaring at each other.
Infrared footage of Jack thumbing his nose and sticking his tongue out at the camera.
A group of earnest-looking students holding up a microphone to an empty room, with Michelle smirking as one of them passes with a video camera.
The old dark house suddenly drenched in bluish light.

Escher V/O: The next episode of The Watch House is Haunted.

--

Actual Play bit

There was quite a bit of prep work in advance for this one, but there was still some paranoia-inducing note-passing and discussion with Joe (Ziggy's player).

Coffee_Lifeform (Milli's player): Just because this is a game partially about vampires, we don't have to play it like Vampire!

A bit more briefing would have helped things run a little smoother.

It would also have been better if there had been a PC other than Ziggy there when the pieces fell into place - which was timed to cause the maximum chaos, naturally. Not that there was any lack of chaos in this episode, of course. Probably the least preparation I've needed for a regularly scheduled episode, because invisibility equals chaos equals fun.

[Joe Dizzy]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
Milli: But why now? And I respect his privacy. As well as the women in the showers!
Ziggy: What? That was funny.
Milli: I was thinking more perverted.
Ziggy: Eh, you have no sense of humour.
Milli: I have a sense of humour!
Ziggy: You never laugh at my jokes.
Milli: That says more about your jokes than it does about me!
Emma: It says they're lame.
Milli: Girl's got a point.
Ziggy: Nuh uh.
Jake: Girl's got a point.
Milli: See?
Ziggy: I'm rubber, you're glue.
Jake: Huh?


Ah... see.. this doesn't make any sense because you're missing the line Ziggy was commenting on....


Milli: Because I'm right and you're wrong.
Ziggy: yeah, yeah... "I'm rubber, you're glue".


This makes slightly more sense in a... only to me.. kind of way.

And the other thing.. Ziggy wasn't actually trying to cop a feel on Michelle. It was more a grateful hugging for making Jack uncomfortable. :-)

Ziggy might be immature, but he's not pathetic. Well, not THAT pathetic.

Joe

[morgue]

Cool!

I have no other comments!

m

[Craig Oxbrow]

Comments like "Cool!" are always nice.
Originally posted by Joe Dizzy


Ah... see.. this doesn't make any sense because you're missing the line Ziggy was commenting on....

This makes slightly more sense in a... only to me.. kind of way.

And the other thing.. Ziggy wasn't actually trying to cop a feel on Michelle. It was more a grateful hugging for making Jack uncomfortable. :-)

Ziggy might be immature, but he's not pathetic. Well, not THAT pathetic.

Joe
Righto. Fixeded.

[Lord Darkblade]

Craig, Is Jack meant to like Michelle or not... or is it just Ziggy that makes him run?

[Craig Oxbrow]

It was more that Michelle is noted for asking awkward questions, and Jack was already dodging awkward questions from Charlotte, and doesn't handle being harangued from all sides terribly well...

[Craig Oxbrow]

Something else that got left out: the inevitable Britpop song!

This week, the visit to the Brody was soundtracked with Gomez, We Haven't Turned Around.

[thenewgirl]

Another stella tale of romance and adventure!

I love reading these!

:D

[Craig Oxbrow]

Cool!

More praise!

I love reading that!

:D

Seriously, thanks.

[Craig Oxbrow]

Okay, slightly delayed by some editing issues, and the Oscar party for DExM star Renée Zellweger...

[Craig Oxbrow]

Watch House 23: Haunted

Milli: currently furious (as well as Jake-smitten) punkette Watcher trainee
Ziggy: didn't previously mention his sorcerous abilities or list of enemies
William: Mister Watcher Trainee lightening up
Jake: psychic, medium, guitarist, girl magnet
Andy: quiet unassuming hereditary lycanthrope
Jack: concerned he may be useless

Escher: currently rather annoyed Watchers' trainer
Emma: Jake's sarky spellcasting Scottish SO
Michelle: psych student asks awkward questions

Previously on The Watch House...

Ziggy revealing that the invisibility spell was his fault.

Jake: So, what, you cast a spell?
Emma: To stop divination...
Ziggy: Look. I happened to know the people doing the divining are people we'd rather not see us.
Milli: How? If you got us in danger...
Ziggy: Because I know them. From back home. They're why I'm here.
Milli: I can't believe you didn't tell us...

Michelle questioning Jake and William.

Michelle: So, uh, do you do this a lot?
Escher: Ah... No.
Jake: It's not every day you stumble across a murder ritual.
Michelle: And the axes?
Jake: Uh... lumber shed.
Michelle: And the crossbows?

--

A dark and foreboding Regency manor house looms above the audience, framed against a gloomy twilight sky. Two young men trudge up the path. Matthew Brown, lugging a video camera, and Alan Debarry, carrying a tape recorder and microphone equipment. Matthew sets the camera down and fishes a ring of keys out of his coat pocket. He unlocks and opens the door, as Alan turns on a Maglite to illuminate the darkened corridor and search for a light switch.

Alan: So, scale of one to ten, how haunted can this place be?
Matthew: Well, the Society only sent the two of us, so probably not ver - your breath's steaming.
Alan: Not very, you reckon. Right. Sudden drop in temperature?
Matthew: Check.
Alan: Door opening of its own accord upstairs?
(Sound FX: Creeeeak)
Matthew: Check...
Alan: Feeling of being watched?
Matthew: Now you mention it...
Alan: So I'd say a three and we haven't even found the light switch yet. Ah, there it is.

And he throws the switch... and the lights flicker and go out again. Matthew and Alan look at each other, and back out the door...

Credits!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Afternoon in the King's College library, right after the day and night of invisibility, and eight figures sit in a circle of salt...

Emma: Let no eye that sees by magic alone find those within this circle. Let them be known to all mortal means, but beyond mystic sight. Let none scry or divine by sorcery or craft.

She looks around the circle and nods to each of you, holds up a mirror and waves into it, her reflection waving back.

Milli: See, that's how you do it! Check first!
Ziggy: Eh. We done?
Emma: We'd have to try -
Milli: Right. (And gets his Game Boy out.)
Escher: Hm. Well, best to lie low for a few days just in case. As it happens, I have the very thing for a long weekend away from the usual stamping grounds.
Emma: Here it comes.
Escher: The Society for Psychical Research will be spending a weekend researching Sanderson House. Now, we have some history with the Society - they're one of the reasons you're studying at King's rather than Trinity - but the modern group... well, they're not bad. And apparently Sanderson House is worth looking at, as haunted locations go. It isn't likely to spike with activity like the Cranshaw house did at Halloween, but there might be something worth looking into. And if not, well, it's just for two and a half days.

Ziggy: So does this place have a TV?
Escher: No.
Ziggy: Nooooo!
Jack: Don't you have a portable TV?
Ziggy: You have to carry that.

Milli: Will you be coming with us?
Escher: Ah, no. Sorry. Problems with security. (glances at Ziggy, frowning) But I will be reachable.
Milli: So who else is going to be there?
Escher: Matthew Brown and Alan... Debarry will be in charge of the technical equipment, which will probably keep them busy while you do the real investigating. No-one else as far as I know, but you can never tell with the Society...

Jake: So what's the history of this place?
Escher: No reports of murders, but this was a very moneyed family, so what does that tell us? One thing, though. The second son, Dudley, left for the Americas in 1831, never to return. Left his fiancée, took up with a local woman in 1836. His entire branch of the family remained estranged for three generations. And there's absolutely nothing about why... But considering the reported pattern of haunting.
Milli: Pattern of haunting? So someone died?
Escher: Presumably.
Milli: And... what are we supposed to do?
Escher: Investigate. Or, keep a low profile while I look into this situation with Skel.

William: So, equipment?
Ziggy: Do we get, like, psychokinetic energy um...
Jake: Nuclear accelerator backpacks?
Escher: Ah, no. I believe there is an infrared camera.
Milli: So what do we take? Crosses and holy water, crossbow bolts don't work on ghosts. Emma, do you have a -
Jack: Swimsuit?
Jake: Thought. Out of head. Now.
Milli: I should go pack. Crossbow, cross, stake, holy water, sleeping bag, (quietly) clean underwear...
Andy: Clean underwear?
Milli: Always.
Emma: Well, it is a haunted house.

Emma: So all you're bringing is booze?
Jack: I'm not scared. If I see something scary, Milli'll kill it. Everything scary, Milli kills. Well, except that thing with the eyes.
Milli: Nyiii, not talking about the eyes thing...
Jack: Get one of those crossbows that repeat on you.
Jake: As opposed to one of those easy to swallow crossbows.
Milli: Ooh, I had one earlier. (grabs stomach and moans)

Ziggy: So, Alan's a boy name, right?
Escher: Yes.
Ziggy: Damn! (off everyone's look) What? I can't try and meet new people?
Jake: Only if they're girls...
Milli: Oh, just cast a spell and create a girl.
Jake: You can do that?
Milli: Probably not on purpose.

Ziggy: If I don't make it, I don't mind.
Milli: If you don't make it, I don't mind...

The group go and prepare, rendezvousing outside where the four-wheel-drive awaits.

Ziggy: I shaved.
Emma: That's probably easier now you're visible.
Ziggy: Always down on the black man.
Milli: Yes, that's why we hate you.

(Jack's player: What did Ziggy do?
Me: You've really haven't read the last writeup, have you?)

Milli: Jack, this is Ziggy. You may not have met him.
Jack: You guys are really down on him today.
Milli: We're not picking on him because he's black, we're picking on him because he's an idiot.
Ziggy: I find your insinuations insulting.
Milli: Do you want to find them painful too?
Ziggy: Would this be kinky painful?
Milli: Do you think I mean kinky painful?

Ziggy: So, no TV. Is there a cellar full of beer and wine?
Jake: If we bring it.
Jack: Let's get some cans and some tunes.
Jake: I'll get my guitar.
Milli: Oh, yay...
Jack: Still need music.
Milli: We've got Jake's guitar.
Emma: So it's a party?
Milli: We were gonna go to the beach but someone turned us invisible. Because that'd be fun.
William: If it's not haunted we could pretend it is... Maybe cut eyeholes out of sheets and wear them?
Milli: Yeah, and we could hang Ziggy from the rafters!

Ziggy: So, just checking, Alan, boy?
Andy: Yeah.
Ziggy: Well, you know, Alan, Ellen. That Ellen's a check.
Milli: She's a lesbian.
Ziggy: Chick's a chick.
Milli: Try telling that to a lesbian.
Jack: Ziggy's right. A lesbian probably wouldn't mind being called a chick any more than a non-lesbian.
Ziggy: I'm surprised. Jack makes more sense than you.
Milli: I'm not.
Ziggy: Now that was mean.

The group pull up at the house, isolated by a large, barren lawn stretching a good hundred yards from the end of the street it's supposedly part of. They park next to the Land Rover used by the Society, on loan from the Psych supervisor in charge. Alan and Matthew are already waiting, equipment at the ready. And Michelle leans against the car, waving with a cheery smile. Jake looks duly unnerved, either by the vibe from the house, or the presence of Michelle...

CUT!

(Andy's player: So there's three of them, she has a woolly hat on, there's a video camera...
Me: Yeah? (I take off my longsleeve and show off my The Blair Witch Project T-shirt)
Andy's player: Nyaaah. Nice touch...)

[Craig Oxbrow]

Milli: What the hell are you doing here?
Michelle: Hi, it's Milli, right?
Milli: Oh, uh, yeah. What are you doing here?
Michelle: Well, my Psych lecturer mentioned it, and I rather thought you guys... so what are you doin' here?
Milli: Um... Psych as well. Yeah.

Ziggy: Cool, now we have two and a half girls here.
Jack: And the half a girl would be Milli.
Ziggy: I didn't think that had to be spelled out.
Milli: Be cautious about sleeping tonight...

Milli: Oh yeah, are there any empty rooms... duh.
Jack: It's an empty haunted house. There'll be rooms.
Emma: She gets that. Hence "duh".
Jake: We can work our way through all the rooms in the house.
Milli: Um... work our way... through...?
Jake: What-oh, I mean, we can check for like, haunted, er... ness.

Matthew: There are four "clean" rooms with relatively low incident rates we can use as bedrooms. I was thinking Alan and I in one with the monitoring equipment, as we'll be up and around at the most odd hours, and then...
Emma: Well, we could -
Milli: Take a room for the girls.
Emma: ... yeah, I guess.
Michelle arches an eyebrow.
Ziggy: What, you plan to sleep? (holds up two bags from the off-licence - that's British for "booze shop")
Jake: Oh yeah? I spy a drinking contest...
Milli: And then after that half hour we can sleep.

Emma: Well, someone has to take watch.
Milli: Yes, because so much is gonna happen.
Emma: Fine, we can do it.
Milli: Okay, okay, I'll join you.

Finding the upstairs sitting room is "clean" and has a fireplace, Andy goes to make a fire. The rest of the group eat, notably rather quietly.

William: Hey Zig, wanna go chop some wood?
Ziggy: Oh, definitely. (gets the axe out of his bag)

Jack: So, who wants to hear what?
Milli: Jake's brought his guitar, we don't need any more music.
Jake: I do requests.
Ziggy: The full twenty-five minute version of The Police's Doo Doo Doo Dah Dah Dah as played by The Stammering Trio?
Jake: Okay, you're the first to get hit with the guitar.
Milli: Don't break your guitar, I have a crossbow.
Jack: Can we stop mentioning the weapons around the other people? They might be freaks but not to that level.
Ziggy: Ah, they're dumb freaks.

Emma: So, what are we gonna do?
Milli: We're gonna sit around the fire, Jake'll play his guitar, we'll drink, we can sleep here. Because there's no point in us being here because we can't kill ghosts.
Emma: Maybe look around first, just in case?
Milli: Tcch. Fine...

Looking around the dark, silent, empty house, Jake keeps his hands in his pockets.

Milli: So no actual beds then? So we'll be in our own sleeping bags.
Jack: You can join 'em together.
Milli: Oh, that's not practical.

Michelle wipes the grime off a window and looks down at Will and Zig chopping wood. She arches her eyebrow again.

William and Jake question Matthew and Alan about the haunting.

William: So, what is there here?
Matthew: Well, we get anomalous light globes on some of the infrared images, and there's a "cold spot" in the hall...

Michelle: Hey, there's a slight drop in temperature on this room with single-glazed windows and a door outside! Ooh!
Milli: Wow!

Jack looks for secret passages, and pulls a candelabrum off the wall. He looks around for somewhere to hide it...

Jake takes his hands out of his pockets. He gets a vague melancholy vibe, but nothing ghostly.

Jake: So, nobody's around.
Disembodied Voice: Jaaaaaaaaake!
Jake: Ziggy, you're at the top of the dumb waiter.
Disembodied Voice: Hmph.
Milli: So this is a dead people free zone?
Jake: Seems so.
Milli: Great. Let's get drunk.

And Jake almost hears an echo of the clink of wine glasses...

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

The group, apart from Matthew and Alan, gathered around the fire, drinking as Jake strums his acoustic through the Pogues' Haunted.

Jake: Any requests?
Milli (starry-eyed): Oh, pretty much anything...

Andy slumps over, carefully setting down his second beer can as he goes. Milli gets into her sleeping bag.

William: So who wants to patrol for ghosts?
Jack: Yeah, alright.
Milli: You fin' ghosts, you ge' me, I kick they ass...

William and Jack come back in a few minutes later wearing white sheets, William playing a thunderclap from a sound effects CD. Only Jake reacts at all.

Jake: Man, you put me off my tune!
Ziggy: It was a crappy tune anyway.

Mil swings at Zig, even though he's across the room. Jake takes out a tin whistle.

Jake: Tryin' to learn this. The guitar thing was gettin' maudlin anyway.
Milli: Awww, play...
Jake: You can dance to it.
Emma: No, she really can't. She's just about passing out.
Milli: No we not. Can you play something soppy?
Jake: Like what?
Milli: Like Whitney, um, thing. Houston.

Jake thinks about this and takes Milli's bottle.

Jack: Hey, wanna do some donuts?
Jake: What, like a line of them?
Ziggy: Oh, that's what the hole is for...
Milli: You got it. He's Jack, he doesn't have to make sense.
Jack: No he didn't. I met doing donuts in the car?
Ziggy: Oh, thank you! See? Didn't get it!

Milli: So, how are things with Charlotte? All better?
William: Yeah.
Jack: So, strip poker?
Michelle: Piss off out of it!
Milli: I'm sure Ziggy would be up for that. He likes naked people.
Ziggy: Naked good-looking people.
Jack: So stay away from me.
Milli: And mirrors.
Jack: Why are you so down on Ziggy?
Milli: He's a git.
Jack: So apart from he's Ziggy...

Jake: Well, this party's turned into a slagging match.
Milli: No, 's party, stay, play... jus' cuz he's git an' turned up invizh'ble an'...
Michelle: What did she say?
Jake: I really don't know.
Emma: Go for a walk?
Jake: Good idea.

Jack picks up the infrared camera, taking a moment to thumb his nose and stick his tongue out at it, and sets it up watching the communal room.

Milli: Hey. You. What - doin' - what?
Jack: Nothin'...
Milli: I can take you... get outta... this... bag... take ya. Yeah.

Our heroine finds the zip and stumbles out of her sleeping bag, assuming a Drunken Boxing stance, or possibly a boxing stance while drunk. Jack smirks, but also looks a tad wary. Then Milli whips around in a roundhouse kick, and he dives to get out of the way. She smirks down at him on the floor, then drops to a sitting position.

Milli: Why ya not playin'?
Jake: Well, what d'you want?
Milli: Somethin' nice.

Ziggy: Wow, you are hammered.
Milli: An' inna mornin' I'll be sober an...
Ziggy: I'll still be pretty!
Milli: If yer not pretty when I'm drunky you're not gonna be pretty when I'm sober.

Jack: Fat Bottomed Girls?
Milli: You don' wanna take any musical suggestions from Jack.

And that said, she slumps back down and lies on top of her half-open sleeping bag.

Andy snores with a slight growl. Milli looks up at the ceiling and mumbles "spinny". William patrols somewhat idly. Jack tags along. Michelle watches the proceedings curiously, with the sobriety of an Australian student keeping pace with the English. Jake and Emma go for a walk. Ziggy shakes his head and goes to read a book from his backpack. The airport novel cover slides slightly from a much old leather cover...

Emma: So. Milli's...
Jake: Yeah? I dunno, Ziggy seems to think so, but what Ziggy knows about girls you could write on the back of a postage stamp.
Emma: Heh.
Jake: Maybe he's just taking the piss. It's hard to tell with him. What do you think, I mean you're her mate right? It's not like Milli's backwards about being forwards if you know what I mean, she usually says what she thinks. I don't think you should worry about it!
Emma: Yeah... I dunno, I guess I should talk to her. Yeah, hopefully this isn't anything... y'know. Gonna mess things up... We should maybe head back.

Jake gives Emma a hug, and the camera flicks from Emma's contented face, eyes closed, to Jake's face, eyes open, looking like he hasn't convinced himself...

Michelle goes over to check on Milli, who looks suspicious in among the maudlin expression.

Michelle: Look, you might not wanna hear this, but you like him, you want him to know he likes you?
Milli: Hm?
Michelle: Jake. C'mon. It's obvious. I mean, he's cute an' all, but this is me backing off.
Milli: Mm.
Michelle: Show off, see if he notices. I dunno, just wear a skirt even. Couldn't hurt.
Milli: Hrm...
Michelle: I mean, guys are easy. Watch...

Jack and William come back, as do Jake and Emma. Ziggy looks in as well, hiding his book.

Michelle gives Jack a big smile. He heads over. Jake and Emma share a look, roll their eyes, and Jake idly plucks the intro to Like A Virgin on his standing guitar.

Emma goes over to where they are sleeping, and Jake goes over to the fireplace to throw a dogend in the flames. By the firelight, he sees the sprawled shape of Milli on top of her sleeping bag. He reaches down, removes her boots, and covers her over.
(Milli's player: Oh, you can't do something nice for me when I'm unconscious!)

He hears Emma whispering over asking him to come here, he looks over to where Emma is standing, glances back down at Milli, then stands and walks back to Emma.

With Milli unconscious, her player takes over running Michelle.

Michelle: Hi.
Jack: I think we kinda got off on the wrong foot yesterday. How do you like Britain?
Michelle: Oh, I love it, but the weather sucks.
Jack: So, do you know Milli?
Michelle: Pink-haired girl? I, ah, don't think I ever talked to her.
Ziggy: If this guy's bothering you I can set his hair on fire.

Jack gets Ziggy in a headlock.

Ziggy: What, are you too dumb to act like a human being? You respond to everything with violence? You're like Milli!
Emma: Let him go...
(Milli's player: You're lucky I'm unconscious.)
Michelle: So you're on the rugby team, eh?
Jack: You a fan of rugby?
Michelle: I'm a fan of rugby men... only problem is yer all gay, aincha?
Ziggy: Steee-rike! I like this one!
Jack: Well, not all of us. I mean, Ziggy's the one to avoid in the showers.
Emma: They'll be marking their territory next...
Michelle: Oh yeah, I can see that, with the hand gestures.

Jake starts quietly playing In The Navy.

Jack: So what are they sayin' about you?
Michelle: I think that was all about you, mate...

He melodramatically deflates and she smirks.

And so the group rest up, with Milli sacked out, Andy growling in his sleep, Jake watching the fire, Emma with him but occasionally checking on Milli, William trying to sleep, Jack trying to impress Michelle, Michelle finding that amusing and Ziggy reading in the corner.

And then, at around two in the morning, the house is filled with screams.

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

A woman's scream, seemingly right in everyone's ear, coming from everywhere.

Ziggy wakes quickly, glances around and gets up to arm himself. William wakes with a start and checks he hasn't rolled over onto the Play button for the sound effects CD. Andy grunts and rolls over. Jake covers his ears in pain. Milli shakes herself awake as the scream is suddenly cut off.

Milli: What was that? Are all the girls here?
Michelle: Yeah?
Emma: Uh, yeah... Jake?
Jake: I'm okay...

Milli goes to her pack to bring out her crossbow, weaving slightly en route. William heads her off and slides it back into her backpack.

Matthew and Alan stumble in, ashen-faced. Everyone looks shaken, actually. Except Ziggy.

Matthew: Did you hear that? Where did it come from?
Jake: Everywhere...
Milli: Anywhere you thought might be... um?
Michelle: Wooo... probably Billy or Jack found a bike chain to rattle.
William: We should search.
Jack: Yes, there could be secret passages. And we should split up! One of the girls should go into the attic alone...
Emma: Oh, shut up.
Jake: Well, first we need to find out what the camera and microphone caught.
Alan: What? Oh, yeah. Right!

Ziggy shakes his head and goes to look in another room. He can still hear the argument down the hall...

Jack: Right, you do that, we'll look upstairs -
Milli: We're not splitting up!
Jack: C'mon, we have to -
Milli: Hey, where are my boots?
Echoey voice: - shame upon the family cavorting with this low-born cow -

He looks in on the continuing argument.

Ziggy: Did anyone else hear that?
Milli: What?
Ziggy: What's a low-born cow and why are people arguing about it?
Emma: Huh?
Jake: Where was this?
Ziggy: Dining room downstairs.
Jake: Right, let's take a look.

Milli: We only split up if we don't find anything where Ziggy says.
Ziggy: Why wouldn't we?
Milli: You have a habit of telling blatant lies.
Ziggy: I'm sensing a bit of hostility.
Milli: I have a lot of hostility. It's bad if you only sense a bit...

The group proceed, grumbling and hiding weapons. Matthew and Alan go to check their gear, Michelle lags a little behind... Entering the dining room, Jake raises a hand for quiet.

Jack: Do you hear anything?
Jake: I hear you.
Jack: Dead people?
Jake: Again, you.

Jack starts stamping on the floorboards.

Jake: What are you doing?!
Jack: I'm looking for loose floorboards.
Jake: I'm trying to listen!
Jack: You asked.
Jake: Because you were bangin' on the floor! And there's a basement!

Matthew: Now, at some point in the night somebody moves the camera...
Jack (off everyone's looks): What?
Jake: You wanted kinky pictures of you going for Michelle.
Andy: Kinky infrared pictures? That wouldn't be my medium of choice...

Milli: So are we directly above the basement? Uh... Um.
Emma: I think you need some more sleep, Mil.
Milli: ... Yeah.

Alan: Right, here we are...

A burst of static instead of the scream.

Jake: That's great.
Alan: Er, sorry.
Jake: Oh well. Could we set this up in the dining room?

CUT!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Milli clumps off to look in the basement. Ziggy tags along.

Milli: Of everybody, it would have to be you, wouldn't it?
Ziggy: I don't speak Crazy, what d'you mean?
Milli: ... Do you have a torch?

Looking around, they note that while the walls generally match, one is a little closer than it should be.

Ziggy: Wanna kick it?
Milli: Brick wall.
Ziggy: I really should get the hang of the whole irony thing.

And he swings at it with an axe, between two bricks. The plaster cracks easily. Milli kicks it, using it as a lever. The brick falls in, as do the two above it, as does the axe.

Ziggy: Great...
Milli: At least I did something with the axe. I don't see you doing anything...

Shining his Maglite in, Ziggy finds another wall about four feet back.

Ziggy: So we found a special room. Still no TV.
Milli: But there'll probably be some dead bodies. You can do magic with them.
Ziggy: You have some kind of compulsion...

William comes down and proceeds to knock at the wall, creating an opening...

Ziggy: I mean, I'm very sorry I dragged you all in...
Milli: You knew we'd be in danger.
Ziggy: I had my suspicions.
Milli: Well, what other suspicions did you have?
Ziggy: Nothing you gotta worry about.
Milli: I worry, actually!

Jake, upstairs, hears snatches of the argument, and another argument over it.

Echoey Male Voice 2: I love her!
Echoey Male Voice 1: I won't see you besmirch the family name!

A flash of a poker being grabbed from the fire, a woman's scream suddenly cut off by a dull thud, a shocked gasp and footsteps fleeing toward the door...

Jake: Jack? Did you hear, right, fair enough.
Jack: Huh?

Ziggy: What do you care?
Milli: I care, okay?
Ziggy: Really?
Milli: Yes.
Ziggy: Really?
Milli: Yes!
Ziggy: Shyeah...

William knocks out enough of the false wall to step onto the earthen floor beyond, and goes to find a shovel.

Milli: Why didn't you tell us?
Ziggy: If wishes were horses we'd all be eating steak.
Milli: I mean don't you trust me at all?
Ziggy: Can I count up all the times you've kicked me?
Milli: Well, uh, go ahead. Have I kicked any of the others? Except Jack.
Ziggy: Not so I've noticed.
Milli: See, it's... a sign of affection.
Ziggy: You have a very weird idea of affection. And does that mean you're affectionate towards Jack?
Milli: No, I really just don't like him.
Ziggy: Oh, riiight, that's much better!
Milli: If I stopped kicking you would that help? Would you maybe tell me important stuff? I mean, the point of having friends is to share your problems. Especially problems you can kick. I can really help there.

Ziggy nods slightly and looks away. Milli folds her arms and looks at her boots.

William returns with a shovel, followed by Jake, Andy, Emma and Jack. He starts digging without a word.

Jack: So, is there a dead body and he's digging for it, or is Milli about to make one and he's making a gap?
Ziggy: Yeah, we're gonna check for a corpse and see if that stops the haunting.
Jake: Never thought of that one...
William: Hey, I found something!... Yeah, I found a corpse.
Ziggy: I want to say yay, but eurggh.
Michelle: So how did you know to look down here?

Everyone looks over at Michelle, leaning against the stairwell with a curious expression.

Ziggy: I have the second sight!
Jake: Hey...
Ziggy: I'm also very sensitive! And I play the guitar!

William unearths a small skull with an obvious wound on the side. As he does, Jake sees a flash of bluish white. To him, the house is drenched in light. Then it flashes upwards and away. He looks around to see if anyone else noticed, and Ziggy echoes his movements and expression.

Ziggy: Wow! That was incredible! And scary!
Milli: That's a really scary gift, actually.
Ziggy: I'm taking the piss.
Milli: Out of... (quiet) the thing we're not talking about...
Ziggy: Eh, you British guys have no sense of humour. You only laugh when people get hit or fall down holes.
Milli: How about if I test that?
Ziggy: I thought you were gonna be nice to me now.
Milli: I'm trying.
Ziggy: There was something else, I didn't tell you... these jeans make you look fat!

And he runs. Emma slaps him as he passes.

Ziggy: Hey, whatcha do that for?
Emma: Sorry, had to do it.
Milli: Girl union rule.

Jake looks down at the half-revealed skeleton of a woman in servant's clothes killed with something like a poker to the head.

Jake: So we tell the paranormal soc people because they do this kinda thing all the time.
Emma: Yes.
Milli: Obviously.

Matthew looks at the body and blanches.

Jake: So what do you do now?
Matthew: Oh God, um, oh, um...

And so they call Dr. Brown at the coroner's office.

Jake: So do we have to go home now, or can we stay hiding?
Emma: I imagine the coroner will want us to shift.
Andy: Well, we got a lot of booze upstairs. Which we gotta take with us, or get rid of. Er, somehow. I mean, we hardly touched the green stuff. Anybody got some fruit? We could make punch.
Jack: Milli likes punch...

Milli resists the urge to punch Jack on the arm. Jake places a hand gently on the skull.

Jake: Her name was Mary. She was in love with Dudley... the second son. Charles wasn't having any of it. She got in the way, Dudley fled... Charles must have buried her down here. And we let her free.
Ziggy: Oh, so that's what I saw!
Milli: So, she's gone to a better place?
Jake: Well, I dunno where she's gone, but it's gotta be better than being trapped down here. But she's gone, at least.
Milli: Well, that's something...

And they head back out, leaving the house as the sun hits it, lighting it up brighter than it has for over a century...

GRR! ARG!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Next time on The Watch House:
Skel smirks as he looms over a handcuffed, woozy, black-eyed Ziggy.

Ziggy: So who are you working for?
Skel: Oh, yer hopin' I ain't still workin' for the ol' man, eh? Sorry ta disappoint ya. Although it'd actually be worse for ya if I wasn't...
Ziggy: Go on and torture me, then.
Skel: Now that's a thought, eh? An' don't think I ain't tempted, neither...

Escher V/O: The next episode of The Watch House is Secrets And Lies.

--

Actual Play bit

Long writeup this week, because there was a lot of dialogue, notably the argument between Milli and Ziggy. Of course, I could barely hear anything else, and had to sit next to their players to hear that, due to a change in venue. We also started late and couldn't carry on late, so we had to skip quite a few bits and pieces here and there. About an hour and a half of the disastrous party, then an hour after the screaming.

Still, this was essentially a backdrop for the characters to be stuck in close quarters when they really wanted to stay away from each other, so it worked reasonably well on that front. There were still a few points that had to be fixed in editing, though, so some of this dialogue (Jake and Emma, Milli and Michelle) is actually from discussions since.

[Joe Dizzy]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
Ziggy: I thought you were gonna be nice to me now.
Milli: I'm trying.
Ziggy: Your jeans make you look fat.


Again... with the missing important bits thing... Ziggy was reacting to an insult of Milli's (which I handily can't remember off-hand) and striking back.

Without it, there's really no reason for Ziggy to say that line, which was incidentally:
"There was something else, I didn't tell you... these jeans make you look fat!".

Also...


Ziggy: Chick's a chick.
Milli: Try telling that to a lesbian.
Jack:Ziggy's right. A lesbian probably wouldn't mind being called a chick anymore than a non-lesbian.
Ziggy: I'm surprised. Jack makes more sense than you.


And...


Jake: I do requests.
Ziggy: The full twenty-five minute version of The Police's Doo Doo Doo Dah Dah Dah as played by The Stammering Trio?


Joe, vain nitpicker

[Craig Oxbrow]

Grr. Arg.

[Lord Darkblade]

I feel upset... Jack wanted to talk to Michelle not get trapped by some Girly thing... plot changes after the fact... urghh its like the new Star Wars Movies!

[Craig Oxbrow]

Yes, he did. But these things happen. Sometimes people have varying motivations.

If anyone can remember what Milli said to cause Ziggy's "those jeans make you look fat" comment, let me know...

[Coffee_Lifeform]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow

Emma: So. Milli's...
Jake: Yeah? I dunno

...

By the firelight, he sees the sprawled shape of Milli on top of her sleeping bag. He reaches down, removes her boots, and covers her over.

...

He hears Emma whispering over asking him to come here, he looks over to where Emma is standing, glances back down at Milli, then stands and walks back to Emma.



Seriously though, what's a girl supposed to think?

Oh, wait, nothing, cos she was either unconscious or not there. Damn you all!

[Craig Oxbrow]

In this case, damn Derek. :D

I am, of course, already damned for my many sins against gaming.

(And any idea which comment caused Ziggy's jeans joke thingy?)

[sasori]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
In this case, damn Derek. :D

sorry! :p

(And any idea which comment caused Ziggy's jeans joke thingy?)

Pobably something about girls telling us they want to hear the truth, but don't!

[colbabe]

Originally posted by Craig Oxbrow
Michelle: Piss off out of it!

Damn, Craig, your Australian is good. Where did you learn?

[thenewgirl]

Emma goes over to where they are sleeping, and Jake goes over to the fireplace to throw a dogend in the flames. By the firelight, he sees the sprawled shape of Milli on top of her sleeping bag. He reaches down, removes her boots, and covers her over.

This is SO sameet....

[Craig Oxbrow]

Originally posted by colbabe
Damn, Craig, your Australian is good. Where did you learn?
I studied at the Sorbonne, dontyer know.
Originally posted by thenewgirl
This is SO sameet....
Yeah, it is. :) But, of course, it also causes angst...

And yay, people reading! Thanks guys!

[sasori]

Originally posted by thenewgirl
This is SO sameet....

Do you mean sweet? I'm not really up on the street slang of the kids these days.;)

[thenewgirl]

Originally posted by sasori
Do you mean sweet? I'm not really up on the street slang of the kids these days.;)

Supposed to be a cute way of saying it....

bless you for calling me a kid!

:D

[VoodooFrog]

I've just stumbled across this thread and have been trying desperately to catch up.
Really nice work!