[Destriarch]

Blood Bathers: are you doing YOUR bit to help protect the environment? Try taking blood showers instead of full baths to save time and money. In this week's issue of Reprehensible Murderers Monthly, we show you three labour-saving tips pioneered by the Countess Erzebet Bathory herself!

*Pulleys and Icepicks: how a simple pulley system and a few carefully placed thrusts with the pointed implement of your choice can produce a simple yet effective blood-saving shower.
*Knot Tying: for that luxurious, relaxing effect, we show you how to restrict blood flow before the cut in order to produce a superior fine mist spray, or even a power shower!
*Plumbing Tips: let's face it, blood gums up your pipes. Reviewed this week are the top three drain clearers guaranteed to remove a clot in the drain.

Plus, much, much more! Remember, just because you're an amoral psychopath doesn't mean you don't care.

-Ash