Zork Movie to Be Released In All Its Full Text Glory
By Brian Briggs and Francisco Rangel
Hollywood, CA - Lion's Gate Films, which had secretly acquired a few years ago the rights to produce a Zork movie, has announced that it will be released in summer 2009.
The movie is set in a first-person perspective, and will be filmed in full text video, and narrated by Morgan Freeman.
I sense someone got the April Fools Day date off...
__________________
It’s not the tree that forsakes the flower
But the flower that forsakes the tree
Someday I’ll learn to love these scars
Still fresh from the red-hot blade of your words
I sense someone got the April Fools Day date off...
Me too. Even with the low production values of a text-only movie with a voiceover, I still can't see this even breaking even. While geeky movies are making a lot of money these days, the ones that do are the action-driven comic movies, which appeal to a large portion of the general public. This movie would be the definition of 'niche market'.
__________________ My randomly updated LJ
Playing: Unhallowed Metropolis: The Baker Street Irregulars
Running: Nothing currently
My ottoman doesn't have a vagina. I'm pretty sure it's a boy ottoman. - Orsino
"I'm glad they are keeping true to the spirit of the game. Had they given it to Uwe Boll, it would have been a nonstop frenzy of exploding grues," commented Dan Pewters, who has been playing Zork for over 17 years.
No one has been playing Zork for over 17 years.
(Also, 1991? Little late to the party on Zork.)
As for actually taking it seriously, it's BBspot. It's clearly a joke.
__________________
"Guess why the Taliban is so deadly and effective: Hapkido training. Where'd they learn that? From Steven Seagal's fat ass! Why do you think Kelly LeBrock left him? 'Cause he's Taliban!"
"'Stress' doesn't fill up two whole vacuum-cleaner bags!"
"Bags? What is this, 1930? Get a bagless upright!"
In order to be a true representation of Zork, it has to be full of this sort of thing:
"Go West"
"You are still in the gazebo"
"Leave Gazebo"
"You do not have the gazebo"
"Exit Gazebo"
"Exit to where?"
"Exit to the fucking west, what's wrong with you?"
"Such language in a civilized world."
ARRRRRRRRRGGGGH!!! *SMASH SMASH SMASH*
__________________ Banshee's Law:"In order for any idea to work for a large group of people, you *Must* plan from the theory that some people, no matter what the incentive to do otherwise, will be dicks."
Laugh Point: 1 from Jason K 1 from Wields-Rulebook-Heavily Made Me spill Coffee On My New Tie point: 1 from joenr76 Zing points: 1 from Wields-Rulebook-Heavily Awesome and Win points: 1 from Lazarus 1 awesome post-would read again from CanoeMan 2 I can breathe, I'm laughing so hard points From Critical Liz and SorcererNinja
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