[Let's read] A Practical Guide to Monsters!

[Kreuzritter]

Published in 2007 by Moonstone books, APGtM is one of a series of liscenced children's books set in the world of D&D 3.5 edition.

but as the title says, these aren't just regular fantasy lit, these books are for teaching "Apprentice wizards" about the world past their town gates.

as such, these books can be read to your kids, either as something fun or teach them about your hobby, but it's also something you can use as an in-game prop, that the 1st level wizard or cleric might have (or to show what passes for common knowledge in-setting)

So, let's begin

A practical guide to Monsters

The Cover

While it uses a children's hardcover binding, the cover design is painted to resemble a leathery spellbook, much lie other 3rd era books (PHB, DMG, etc.), complete with "Brass bindings" where the cover meets the spine

And on the front cover we have an eye catching picture of a chimera perched on a snowy ledge. the first thing i noticed is that the goat head doesn't really convey the "back off" impression of the other two heads (actually looks nervous, to me), and hte second is that since this is some sort of 'mountain chimera', they used a mountain lion as the feline aspect

on hte back cover, we find a 'vellum' notice attached to the back by a wax seal. the notice stresses (in big red letters, no less) that any potential wizard has to know this book backwards and forwards. not just for our safety when we go a'questing, but because this book is required reading for our final exam! the postscript revealing this last fact, and the address where we're to send our exam suggests this book is meant for a correspondence course.

Up next: The Preface

[Kreuzritter]

The Preface

Not a preface in the traditional sense, but rather a letter to apprectices from the instructor, High Wizard Zendric, apologizing for how he's gotten roped into a party and (probably) won't be back to teach for the rest of the campaign.

however, Zendric reminds us that just because he's leaving, that doesn't mean the course is over, and this book will have to substitute for his lectures. he breifly goes over the very basics of monster variety (some are urbann, others are in the wild, some can shapeshift and others are actually good-aligned.

it's a nice opening, not quite a letter from gandalf but more personable than other wizards i've read about

so, we turn the page and we come to the

Title Page

fairly standard, using the same font and border as the cover, inscribed By Zendric, high Wizard and Master Of magic. on the opposite page from thitile is something more eye-catching, a full page illustration that actually goes wih Zendric's letter. (sort of)

it's your classic spoooky forest, with dead trees, a full moo and mist, and 4 monsters. A young goblin, dressed as a PC-In-Training, moving very quickly away from the other three monsters. A mummy, classicly bandaged and wearig some tattered finery, looks like he's about to give chase. his werewolf companion hoever, has noticed the very large bugbear (or is that an ogre?) behind them, brandishing a greatclub and giving the reader a "don't worry, i got this" expression.

the end of this book's beginning is

Monster Protection, which is a two page spread of various weapons from the PHB, (most of which a wizard can't use), each with some quick hand-written note under them. it's a nice touch, suggesting Zendric's made some last minute additions to the book to account for his abscence (or the time honored practice of students writing the answers down for rference)

from here on out, it's all monsters, so I'll by doing this like he Let's read of the Monster Manuals, covering each monster individually.

so, feel free to speak up about how I'm doing or what I can do to improve my style, and join us next time for Chapter 1

Creepy Crawlers

[mythSSK]

Subscribed. I was thinking about picking this book up, and this thread may very well be the deciding factor. Looking forward to seeing what sort of stuff is in it!

[Kreuzritter]

Chapter 1: Creepy Crawlers

"all vicious hunters, these creepy crawling beasts scutle under and over the ground, searching for prey."

quick and too the point, this chapter introduction (despite the big font of a header) is easily ignored on account of our firSt monster, the second place winner of the Monster Manual 2 Creature Competition

REMORHAZ

a magnificent two page spead of the remorhaz bursting out from the sow, eager to devour our hapless PC in Training (hereafter referred to as Pit), who has that hapless "i have soiled myself" look of fright a first level adventurer should have if they see this thing

and much like our old books on dinosaurs, there are all sorts of notes to us from zendric directing s to the beast's anatomy, such as "when attacking, the beast beats its wings, rears back, then snaps forward and strikes".

on the opposite page from the beast proper (and above the rest of hte picture), is the actual information. of particular importance is the red ettered notes explaining the thrym that courses through the remorhaz, which is the source of it's reddish exoskeleton and is hot enough to melt any weapon that hits it. the rest of the entry describes its habits, tunneling under the ice and bursting onto the surface in a shower of ice and snow.

this info also features a sidebar of vital stats, which is included for each monster.

Remorahaz facts
---
max. height: 20 feet
max. weight: 10,000 pounds
habitat: snowy plains
society: tends to live alone
Diet: mostly deer, elk, and polar bears (NOTE: but it will eat humans and polar bears)
language: roaring, bellowing, howling
attack methods: swallow whole
best defense: weapons may be destroyed when they hi it - so use archery, magic and acidic flasks

but wait, there'smore, turning the page, we get a cutaway view of a remorhaz lair! a series of tunnels that's a certain deathtrap even without the beastie, filled with precarious stalactites, bolt holes, and slickly rounded sloping tunnels (GmS make note: this means the party can come to the remorhaz instead of the other way around by falling through the ice). the actual chamber with the remorhaz makes its nest is only about twice its size

finally, a quick lesson in remorhaz biology, mating once a year for about two months while their eggs hatch, the female guaarding her one or two eggs contantly until then, and their young are ready to leave the nest 4 months after hatching

so, it's a good first entry, but it looks like this level of detail's reserved for the monsters that start each chapter, and as yo can see, we aren't working in alphabetical order

so, let the wild guessing as to the next creepy crawlie begin!

[Kreuzritter]

wow, no guesses. it's a shame, given how many people were bummed our next guest hasn't appeared in 4e yet

Thri-Kreen

Yep, that's right, our second monster is D&D's iconic pc race of psychic bug people

bearing in mid this is a children's book, we can forgive how ithis writeup just covers the basics. Thri-kreen are giant intelligent insects that walk upright and hunt in packs, their other 4 limbs used like arms. they'll wear clothes and harnesses for carrying their stuff, but they eschew armor for their sandy-yellow shells

the last parapgraph describes their toxic bite and gythka weapon, whih is shown off by the loincloth wearing picture of a thri-kreen, which looks considerably more humanoid than my dim recollections of the Dark Sun pc game, which was a yellow praying mantis. of particular note is that he has regular eyes instead of compound eyes. actually reminds me of the code-master character that popped up on an episode of Reboot

Thri-Kreen Facts
---
Max height: 7 feet
Max Weight: 200lbs
habitat: Deserts and Savannahs
society: Lives alone but hunts in packs
Diet: Animals and elves
language: Thri-Kreen Language, some Common
Attack Methods: paralyzing Venom, Gythka weapon
Best defense: attack from a distance with a bow or whip

on a side note, I guess I should reveal this is just the first book in a series. other topics in the Practical guide series include Dragons, Magic, Faerie, Dragon-Riding, and coming soon, Vampires. depending on how popular this thread becomes, I may plunk down the cash for the dragons book and do that as a followup to this

[g026r]

Originally Posted by Kreuzritter

wow, no guesses. it's a shame, given how many people were bummed our next guest hasn't appeared in 4e yet

I'd have guessed, but I own a copy of the book. (Local chain-store put them on clearance recently, and I couldn't let it go for that good of a price.)

Edit: as a side note, the Thri-Kreen have had non-compound eyes for a while. I can't even recall if they ever had compound ones...

[Kreuzritter]

see, i see big, solid color eyes like that one any specimen of bugfolk, i'm gonna presume it's a compound eye and the segmentation can' be seen unless you get really close. the bugs i recal from the oc game had solid black eyes, whereas the practical guide's thri-kreen iris/cornea/whiteamber of a humanoid's eye

[Pete Whalley]

Hmm, I'd dismissed the Practical Guide line as being kid's books.

Looks like I should be thinking about picking a couple up after all.

[Kreuzritter]

Originally Posted by Pete Whalley

Hmm, I'd dismissed the Practical Guide line as being kid's books.

Looks like I should be thinking about picking a couple up after all.

oh no mistake, they are children's books, they're just written in-universe. case in point, the "practical guide to dragons" is written by a...unique author, and his particular style is very 'in character'

[Kreuzritter]

sorry for the delay, i'll try to keep to a more regular schedule

Ankheg

yep, everyone's mountrous hybrid of a giant ant and trapdoor spider

another two page s, showing the sot of thing they don't show you in monster manuals, namely, an Ankheg in the process of shedding it's old exoskeleton. unfortunately, something about this pic suggests hte bug saw our fearless painter. and underneat the pic is one of zendric's notes, noting the stench ankheg's give off to drive away predators smells like rotten fruit.

onto the bio itself, the ankheg is described a many-legged worm, with hooks on each leg for burrowing, and it's signature mandibles are believed o be able to cut down tres with a single bite.

much like the remorhaz, Ankegs are burrowing ambush predators, lying in wait just below the surface of their territory, and bursting out from underround to grap their prey, which i addition to getting hacked to bits by hte mandibles, are reduced to easily digested goo by the ankheg's acid squirt.

as for ankheg molting, that enters their life cycle when they turn two, and takes place over a period of two days which they spend deep underground

Ankheg facts
---
max height: 10 feet
max weight: 800 lbs
habitat: tropical plains and forests
society: cluster
diet: can eat decayed organic matter but prefers fresh meat
language: none
attack methods: squirt acid
best defense: stick it in place with a tanglefoot bag - wait what? i'e fought Ankheg's zendric, tanglefoot ags to jack all!