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(Buffy Actual Play) The Watch House Season Five

Craig Oxbrow

Ah, y'know. This guy.
Validated User
The Watch House Season Five, Episode Five, Act Three

Matthew looks excited. Natalie looks startled. Lucian looks bemused.

Lucian: You'd never met your mother?
Matthew: They, ah, split up before I was born.
Natalie: Was she a - ?

She mimes horns. Matthew laughs and shakes his head.

Matthew: No!

The door flies open and Milli, William and Charlotte burst in, weapons drawn.

Milli: Er... hello?
Charlotte: We heard -
Matthew: I met my mum!
Milli: What?
William: When?
Charlotte: That's great!
William: Oh, ah, that too. When?
Matthew: In London. Penelope Reynolds?
Milli: Really?
William: She is about the right age...
Charlotte: And she's sort of small, and has glasses...
Matthew: And she's a sorceress.
Lucian: Eh?
Milli: Matthew!
Lucian: She's a seamstress?
Matthew: N-
Natalie: Yes!
Matthew: - Nnyes.

Lucian gives the group a look.

Natalie: What happened? Did she call your dad after you met her?
Matthew: Oh, ah... I didn't ask. I just mentioned her and he got very quiet. I thought he'd gone away to look her up and left the phone sitting there.
Natalie: So. Um. What are you going to do?
Milli: Oh! I have her email! Somewhere. What did I do with it?
Natalie: Well, you should take this slowly... Don't get too... but it's really good.
Matthew: Don't get...?
Charlotte: It's fantastic.
Natalie: It is.
Matthew: Except that she never contacted me in my entire life.
Natalie: Yeah...

She reaches over and gives him a pat on the shoulder. He smiles up weakly.

Milli: Anyway, um. You're here. We'll be back for the second shift. And take a nap before that.
William: Yes.
Charlotte: ... Cheerio.

The three of them file out.


Milli joins Andy in the back seat of Charlotte's car, right across the road.

Milli: Wow. Matthew's mother.
William: What do you think he'll do now?
Milli: Well, he'll want to contact her...
Charlotte: Why did she leave him?
William: Well, erm...
Charlotte: She wasn't a Watcher?
William: It... was a bit more complicated than that.

Charlotte frowns and looks out of the driver's window, at the windows of Lucian's first-floor flat.

William: Hang on. Here they come.
Charlotte: So we stop them now?

Milli nudges Andy to wake him.

Andy: Huhnn? Breakfast already?
Milli: Two shadowy figures breaking in in the middle of the night? How nice could they be?


Lucian lies on the couch, still in his coat, eyes closed, holding an unopened wine bottle like a club.

A hand clamps over his mouth. He flails with the bottle.

Lucian: Mmph?
Natalie: (whispering) Shh.
Lucian: Mmmph!

She lets go, shifting her crossbow into her other hand. She's fully clothed apart from a jacket. Matthew stands behind her.

Natalie: (whispering) Don't turn around.
Lucian: (whispering) I'm lying down on a rather small couch. Where am I going to go?
Natalie: (whispering) Just get... up...

He gets up, she hands him his scarf, looks him up and down for a moment and nods.

Then the door creaks open and two figures come in.

Lucian looks at them for a moment, and then Matthew pushes him towards the bedroom door.

He runs for the window and dives out.

Natalie: Not that way...

As she watches him go, one of the figures turns to run back out - and the other spreads a pair of leathery wings and flies out after him.


Craig Oxbrow

Ah, y'know. This guy.
Validated User
The Watch House Season Five, Episode Five, Act Four

Milli, William and Charlotte watch the still-apparently-humanoid figure running back out.

Milli: That's one of them.
William: Do we stop them?
Milli: Yes.

She clambers out of the back seat of Charlotte's car and tackles the man.


Lucian climbs out of a Dumpster, into the street Natalie saw him running down in her vision.

Matthew runs to the window and stretches out a hand. A flash of light illuminates the winged creature as it swoops after Lucian.

Milli dodges a punch from the man as he turns to look at the flash of light around the corner.

Natalie shouts out of the window as William joins Milli.

Natalie: That way!
Andy: Ooh! Where?

Charlotte starts the car. Andy grins at her.

Andy: Oh, come on! They're busy.
Charlotte: Bloody hell...


Lucian stops and looks around, then heads across the College Green, towards the History Department.

Simon: Hey!
Lucian: Whoa! What are you -
Simon: I was going to... my shift at... keeping an eye on... I guess I've arrived.
Lucian: Well, it's definitely not the Brooks boys. Unless they've branched out a lot.
Simon: What happened?
Lucian: I dived out of a window. Into a bin. Is that a crossbow? Excellent!
Simon: Ah.

A shadow falls across the moon as a bat-winged figure swoops down at them.


William prods the man with his cane.

Milli: See, now try and punch me, Mister Bad Guy. What were you doing in my friend's flat? By which I mean Matthew.
Crook: I was here to open a door. A... Mister Highmore wanted a word.
Milli: Ah. Why?
Crook: I'm paid quite well not to ask questions.
Milli: Ah. I see. Open a door for whom...? I assume you had to know that.
Crook: A "big scary thing".
Milli: Like a big scary person?
Crook: More... batlike than that.
Milli: Well. I'm done with you.

She lets him drop.

Milli: Don't tell the police that "batlike" bit. I'll know.

She hurries off.

Matthew and Natalie run out to join William.

Natalie: Got that tracker working?
William: Yes.
Natalie: Oh, good... Now where's Lucian?
William: Pretty much going the way Milli went.


Simon fires, tearing through the demon's left wing. It falls, landing on all fours, and then rushes forwards.

Lucian throws the wine bottle at it, catching it across the face. It emits a high-pitched shriek and shakes its head as the bottle breaks.

Simon reloads, cocks his crossbow and fires again. The demon takes a hit in the shoulder, yowls angrily, and lunges at Lucian.

It grabs him by the arm and springs into the air.

Simon grabs it by the leg.

It flaps its injured wing weakly and falls back to the ground. Lucian lands with a groan. Simon rolls away and scrabbles for a bolt.

Milli runs around the corner, surveys the battle scene, and opens her beg.

Milli: Hey! Over here!

The demon's head snaps around, it bares its teeth - and Simon shoots it in the back. Then as it turns back to him, Lucian grabs the neck of the bottle and cuts it across the right wing joint. Its shriek rises in pitch sharply, and then Simon kicks it in the face and it collapses to the ground, groaning its last breath.

William and Natalie arrive to find Lucian looking nervously at the fallen monster as Simon and Milli cover it.

Milli: There you are.
Lucian: Thank God it's you.
Milli: (startled) Really?
Lucian: There's trouble afoot!
Milli: Yeah, and you jumped out the window and ran off!
Lucian: Believe me, I thought I was in more danger in there...

He looks down at the winged demon.

Milli: What was it?
Lucian: And why was it in my flat?
Milli: And the booksellers' too, I'm sure...?
Lucian: I don't know, trouble of a mystical nature seems to follow... you people...
Milli: No. Much as it pains me to say it... you're gonna have to stay close to us.

Neither of them look thrilled by this prospect.


Natalie: So going to have Lucian to stay?
Matthew: I can. It's just me, after all.
Andy: I should help you stand guard.

Milli looks over at Natalie.

Milli: I'm glad you're back. You've already saved a life.

Natalie nods slightly.

Matthew: He's not safe yet.
Milli: (sighs) Don't remind me...


Craig Oxbrow

Ah, y'know. This guy.
Validated User
The Watch House Season Five, Episode Five, follow-up

Next time, on The Watch House:

Lavinia smirking.

Natalie glowering.

A handsome young man taking Natalie's hand.

Milli kicking a door open.

The next episode of The Watch House is Find The Centre.

DVD Commentary

(Kitten poker)
Craig: One of the arcs planned for the season involved Milli being adopted by a kitten. With everything else that went on, the kitten only actually appears now and then.
Jamie: Also, it means we could have a crossover with Clem at the international Kitten Poker tournament!
Craig: ... Yeah...

(Cut to Lucian, running for his life from two figures in black.)
Cat: Yay! He's in danger. It's all good.

(Natalie: Hi, I'm... Who are they?)
Craig: It's the "back to normal" episode after the mini-arc introducing the new Cast Members and the seasonal Big Bad, as well as Natalie's first episode of the season, and the start of her seasonal arc.

(Milli: Mild peril.)
Cat: Oh no, Mild Peril!
Craig: I should... try and explain. Film and DVD rating in Britain has started including explanations of ratings and warnings of specific content. So Finding Nemo was rated U, but with a proviso that it "contains mild peril". Somehow this became a catchphrase of ours... Even though The Watch House contains "frequent fantasy violence" and "scary scenes". And occasional swearing.
Cat: Bollocks it does!


Emilie Dequenne Fanboy
RPGnet Member
Validated User
Re: The Watch House Season Five, Episode Five, follow-up

Yay, Natalie's back!

Craig: One of the arcs planned for the season involved Milli being adopted by a kitten. With everything else that went on, the kitten only actually appears now and then.
Awwww :(

Craig Oxbrow

Ah, y'know. This guy.
Validated User
The Watch House Season Five, Episode Six, Pre-Credits

The Watch House 5.06: Find The Centre

Milli: The prodigal daughter of a Watcher family saved the world by killing the man she loved, after her attempt to restore his soul went horribly wrong. Now, she wants to try and make amends.
William: The best Watcher student in the college survived Jacques's reign of terror, although he now walks with a limp and carries a cane.
Matthew: The born sorcerer continues to practice with his gift despite his guilt over the spell going so far wrong.
Natalie: Gifted with visions by a descendant of the shamans who created the Slayer, she returned to Africa to find out why...
Lucian: He seems to be of good family but lacking in money, and to have an interest in something the Watch are involved in...
Simon: His sister murdered by a demon, he joined the Watchers' hunt for the killer and was unable to find it.

Andy: The inheritor of a lycanthropic curse he can control is in mourning for his friend.

Escher: The Watchers' Invigilator holds himself partially responsible for the disaster of the summer.
Charlotte: William's girlfriend wants to support him, but would rather not have to do so from the front line, or in sight of Milli.
Helen: wannabe witch Watch wish wouldn't wannabe

Cassandra: the redhead one
Jessica: the brunette one
Tiffany: the blonde one

Lavinia: head of the Classics Society
Thomas: head of the Latin Society

Sullivan: half-demonic artefact dealer

Buffy: The Vampire Slayer


Previously, on The Watch House:

Natalie coming back from Africa.

Matthew: I met my mum! In London. Penelope Reynolds?


We open with All Saints' Pure Shores playing over a party. Lucian stands at the bar, watching the waiters pass. Natalie looks around, checks her hair, starts waving to people. William sits to the side, drawing schematics for a death ray cannon. Milli lingers by the door, watching the exits.

Milli: (mutters) Said we'd be going patrolling... better after closing time...
Natalie: I should mingle.
Milli: What? This isn't a Mingle, is it?

Natalie gives her a smile as she heads off. She leans against the wall, frowning, and looks down at William's drawing.

Milli: What are you drawing?
William: Death ray.
Milli: A death ray?
William: A sonic death ray. A ray of sonic death.
Milli: Should I ask why?
William: No reason really.
Milli: I see... could you build it?
William: It's not really practical. Power output and all.
Milli: Could you power it with magic?
William: Hm.

Natalie air kisses Lavinia, head of the Classics Society, who smiles thinly and inspects her from head to toe.

Natalie: Lavinia!
Lavinia: Natalie. You're looking well.
Natalie: Africa. Heard it was a little overcast here.
Lavinia: Wouldn't know, I was in Nice.
Natalie: I hear it wasn't so good there either.
Lavinia: Well, I'm not as beige as you.
Natalie: I believe it's called 'tan'.
Lavinia: I meant your hair... So, working on your lion-taming?
Natalie: I'm sure it'll come in handy. Possibly at the society elections.
Lavinia: I don't think that many of the voters dream of seeing you cracking a whip at them...

Milli watches them go, takes William's pen and draws two stick figures in skirts aiming squiggly lines from their heads at each other, then points the lines towards the death ray.

Milli: You could power it by putting those two in a turbine...
William: Why does she do it?
Milli: I really don't know. But hey, why does Lucian keep talking to us?
Simon: He's at the bar at the moment.
Milli: I'll stay here then.
Simon: You want anything?
Milli: Just a coke. I'm patrolling. (mutters) Even if no-one else is.

As Simon steps up to the bar, Helen leans in, smiling brightly.

Helen: Hi!
Simon: Uh, hi. Helen, right?
Helen: Yeah. How's, y'know, hunting monsters?
Simon: ... Good! It's good... what are you up t-
Helen: (nervously) Nothing!

Simon blinks.

Helen: Er... nothing. Nothing much. I'm up to nothing. Studying. For uni. That kind. Nothing.

She looks over at Milli and smiles warily.

Helen: So, you and...?
Simon: hm?
Helen: Milli. Are you...?
Simon: Oh. No.
Helen: (hopeful) No?
Simon: Hadn't really... thought about it...

Helen nods, clearly interested...

Natalie's three friends Jessica, Tiffany and Cassandra catch up to her.

Tiffany: So, have you met the Latin Society?
Natalie: Latin has its own society?
Jessica: Sometimes -
Tiffany: And the president is sooooo cute.
Cassandra: Not that any of us might be interested.

Jessica glances over at Milli, William and Charlotte as Matthew joins them. Natalie follows her gaze, and then looks back.

Natalie: Of course not.
Jessica: That's him over there, trying not to talk to Vinnie for too long.

Natalie looks over, at Lavinia chatting rather predatorially with a dark-haired young man, and nods.

Natalie: I suppose I should say hello.
Tiffany: We got yer back.

She approaches once she sees Lavinia leave, and Thomas breathe a sigh of relief.

Natalie: You're head of the Latin Society?
Thomas: Thomas Lytton. President. Well, if eighteen people can have a president.
Natalie: Natalie Derby-Moore... I thought the Latin Society closed down.
Thomas: It's one of those perennials - it comes and goes.
Natalie: I didn't know it had come back.
Thomas: Hence the need for publicity.
Natalie: Ahh. (laughs)
Thomas: Quite recently. Just a few friends at present.
Natalie: Looking at the classics, then? And, ah, lost texts?
Thomas: Now and then. We have some real linguistics buffs, Honours and Masters and all, comparing the various translations, including the Greeks and their Latinised versions...
Natalie: Any really... obscure texts?
Thomas: It's mostly social organising at present, really...

He pauses and raises an eyebrow as he sees Jessica, Tiffany and Cassandra trying not to look like they're eavesdropping.

Natalie: I should... go and take these three away from you.
Thomas: It was a pleasure to meet you. All.
Natalie: And you be careful with those ancient secret texts.

He leans back and arches an eyebrow at her.

Thomas: I feel as if there's a private joke here that I'm not getting...
Natalie: Ah, well, er, long story.
Thomas: Then feel free to come to a meeting and tell me...
Natalie: (nods) I might do that...

He watches them go with a slight smile.


Simon hands Milli a glass of cola before opening his own beer bottle.

Simon: Y'know that Helen?
Milli: ... I am aware of her work... Is she up to something?
Simon: I think she just asked if I was seeing anyone.
Milli: (blinks) Oh! Erm. Well...
William: Maybe you should -
Matthew: Spy on her?
William: Not spy on her... per se...
Milli: It'd be good to keep an eye on her. I mean, she's across the hall from you, you could do that... generally. Without the spying...
Simon: Why?
Milli: Oh, y'know, keep your friends close... and your regular sources of trouble closer...

She looks over at Helen and gives her a thumbs-up. Helen looks at her nervously.


And cut to a group of vampires locked in discussion.

Vampire 1: So what if this doesn't work?
Vampire 2: Then we go back and beat Sullivan up again.

Vampire 1 smiles toothily at this idea. Then Vampire 2 pushes him past a road sign marking the Cambridge city limits. He stumbles, finds his footing, and stands.

Vampire 2: Cool. It works. C'mon. We've got a magic rock to steal.


Special appearance by Sarah Michelle Gellar

Craig Oxbrow

Ah, y'know. This guy.
Validated User
The Watch House Season Five, Episode Six, Act One

Next morning, Matthew sits at a computer in the office, staring at the screen.

Matthew: Is this alright?
Escher: I still say that you should send her a letter.
Matthew: I only have her email address -
Natalie: You've been to her house!
Simon: William could find her postcode -
Natalie: Ooh, William could find intimate details of her life!
Matthew: Yes, but she gave us her email.
Escher: A letter shows thought...
Matthew: I've been thinking about this for eight days now.
Natalie: What do you have?

Everyone looks at the screen.

"Dear Ms. Reynolds,
It has come to my attention recently that you are my mother. In light of this, I am writing to inquire whether it might be possible to meet somewhere to talk.

Yours sincerely,
Matthew Fairweather"

Milli: ... Bit formal, isn't it?
Natalie: Maybe you shouldn't start it with "Dear Ms. Reynolds"...
Escher: Like I say, it should be a letter...

Matthew ignores Escher's suggestion and hits Send, then rises unevenly to his feet.

Matthew: Right. I... need to get some air.

Milli gives Natalie a look. Natalie gets up and goes along.


Matthew: What if she doesn't want to know? What if she does? Will you - can you - would you come along?
Natalie: Of course.

She takes his shaking hand in hers. He looks up, into her eyes.

In the background, Lucian wanders along.

Lucian: Morning all!
Milli: Nnn.
Simon: Morning...
Lucian: No Matthew or Natalie?
Simon: They were going to go and get some air.
Lucian: ... Ahhh.

Matthew: She's replied. "Would tomorrow afternoon be convenient?" What do I say?
Natalie: Um... "yes"?
Matthew: She must be really keen to meet me.
Natalie: That's good... yeah?
Matthew: Um... Do I respond?
Milli: Yes.

He types up a reply.

Natalie: Are you alright?
Matthew: Fine, just... nervous.
Natalie: I can imagine. But she wants to see you. This is good.
Matthew: Are you sure... um, are you sure you can come too?

She nods with a reassuring smile. He hits send - and then jumps as the phone rings.

Escher: Hello... Speaking... I see.

Milli stares at him, then nods her head slightly at Matthew and Natalie. He shakes his head.

Escher: Where? And what was... really. I see...

He writes down some notes as he nods along, then hangs up and looks up at the group.

Simon: Some major evil?
Natalie: Run out of scones in the faculty room?
Escher: There's been a break-in at the Mother Moon Emporium.
Milli: Where?
Matthew: Never heard of it.
Lucian: Hippy shop. Incense and crystals and stuff.

Everyone looks at him.

Lucian: It's around the corner from the bookshop.
Milli: Ah. (turns to Escher) So why are they calling you? I mean, aren't we a secret society?
Escher: The police called me.
Milli: Oh. (thinks) Why?
Escher: Apparently only one item was stolen.
William: Which was?

Escher looks down and reads his own note.

Escher: A magic rock.

Off the generally less than panicked reactions, we...


Craig Oxbrow

Ah, y'know. This guy.
Validated User
The Watch House Season Five, Episode Six, Act Two

The Mother Moon Emporium proves to be exactly what Lucian described.

Charlotte: These things could be highly dangerous, if someone wanted to misalign your chakra.
Natalie: Emma never mentioned this place?
Milli: I think she muttered something about 'wannabes' once. (considers this, turns to Simon) Maybe we should ask your friend Helen?
Simon: What?
Milli: She... uh... she's interested. (quickly) In. This kind of thing.
Natalie: And I think she bought that velvet dress she was wearing here.

She points in the window.

Simon: But... my friend Helen?
Milli: Oh, are you not... interested?
Simon: You were suggesting I go out with her to spy on her last night.
Milli: Well, wouldn't be the first time someone...
William: Anyway. We're here now.

Milli nods and opens the door. The wind chime hanging over it tinkles.

Natalie: (faking excitement) Ooh! Look! Crystals!
Milli: (flatly) Yes, aren't they... pretty.

The store's owner, an ash blonde in off-white and purple, looks at the group with a vague smile.

Natalie: Hi, we're from the university paper... about the break-in?
Owner: Ahhh. Yes, strange thing.
Milli: I heard they rook a magic rock.
Owner: Well, it was a centring stone.
Milli: What's it do?
Owner: It costs seventy-nine ninety-five.
Lucian: For a rock?
Owner: It's not the most valuable thing in here. (flatly) Not even the most valuable rock.
Natalie: Well, was there anything special about the... stone?
Owner: I just got it in this week.
Milli: Oh? Where did you get it?
Owner: Second-hand, for a knockdown price. From someone in the trade in London. A Mister... Sullivan.

Milli's eyes narrow. William glances at her, sees the reaction and nods slightly.

She goes outside, taking out her phone. After eight rings, it beeps. She scowls.


Owner: Clearly your friend is very angry. And... carrying a great weight with her.


Milli pulls a second phone out of her inside pocket. She looks at it for a moment, frowning, then presses a button.


Sullivan looks at the number and his brow furrows.

Sullivan: (warily) Er... hello?
Milli: You wouldn't answer my number but you'd answer Jake's?
Sullivan: I thought it might be you but I wasn't sure - I was pretty sure it was you before.
Milli: Okay, that makes no sense.
Sullivan: I wanted to make certain.
Milli: It's not like I even know where you live now. I can hardly stop by to reminisce about old times...
Sullivan: You might still want to kill me. Er... so, how's things? Cambridge still nice since I left -
Milli: Did you sell a nice lady in town a magic rock?
Sullivan: ... Yes. Yes I did.
Milli: Why?
Sullivan: Couldn't get a decent price for it. Which is strange, really. Slayer memorabilia usually -
Milli: Slayer memorabilia?
Sullivan: You didn't know? It's a slayer's meditative centring stone. Belonged to one of them in the Sixties...

Milli scowls.

Milli: So murdered slayer memorabilia is a big trade?
Sullivan: Normally, yes. Couldn't shift this thing, though. Had a couple of possible buyers but they stopped answering.
Milli: Hmm... What does it do?
Sullivan: Nothing much, really. Might have picked up her mental resonance, though.
Milli: Ah. Erm...
Sullivan: How it works is not my department.
Milli: Well, anyway... Next time I'm in London I'll be sure to look you up.

She scowls as she pockets Jake's phone, and looks over as the others come out to join her.

Simon: So, who were you calling?
Milli: The demon that sold her the magic rock.
Simon: So... you mean kill him, right?
Natalie: Some demons are more... ambiguous than most -
Milli: He's worth more to us alive.

Simon doesn't look very happy with this rationale.

Milli: Anyway. Apparently the magic rock used to belong to a slayer.
William: Oh.

Simon looks between them as they nod gravely.

Simon: Is that bad?


Escher: This stone was the focus of the will of a slayer. It could be used to draw power into the wielder, or as a component for spells aimed against the next in line.
Milli: Like what?
Escher: Draining her of the energies it reflects? Her strength, concentration... power.
Milli: Ah. Right, we need to find it...


Craig Oxbrow

Ah, y'know. This guy.
Validated User
The Watch House Season Five, Episode Six, Act Three

Milli looks over at Matthew.

Milli: Trace this stone. Find its location...
Matthew: Right! I'll go... check my contacts!
Natalie: Yeah! Contacts! Sounds good.
Simon: You lot have some very interesting contacts.
Milli: (looking away) Yes, we do...

Natalie frowns.

Natalie: If it is that powerful, why would Sullivan sell it? For less than eighty quid?
Milli: He said his buyers stopped answering his calls.
Natalie: Or he could have smuggled it into Cambridge... using Mother Moon as an intermediary?
William: Then why would someone steal it?
Escher: Maybe they couldn't get to the shop within normal business hours...
Matthew: Like... oh dear. I'll... go ask my contacts now then.

Natalie follows Matthew into the side room.

Matthew: (whispers) Guard the door.
Natalie: (whispers) This is ridiculous.
Matthew: (whispers) You've seen what they're like. Lucian's jumpy and Simon's... fighty.
Natalie: (whispers) He wouldn't.
Matthew: (whispers) Wouldn't he?
Natalie: (whispers) Well... (stops) Why are we whispering? We're in another room!

Matthew: Okay, where... How do I look?
Natalie: Use your finding... thing?
Matthew: I don't have anything that belongs to the rock!
Natalie: Price tag?

He looks at her, eyebrows rising, and nods.


Charlotte: So, who could do something like this?
William: A sorcerer or demon who uses its mind as a weapon could potentially attack the current slayers with it, or someone else could draw out some residual power.
Milli: And who wouldn't want slayer powers?

Natalie and Matthew return.

Natalie: Super-strength? Not for me, thanks. Catlike dexterity, I suppose I could go for that...

Matthew: Okay, got the address.
Lucian: I must say, you've got some really good contacts!
Simon: Yeah... They just know, do they?
Matthew: Er, well... yes...
Lucian: You're very well informed.

The group tool up, gathering weapons and equipment with alarming (to Lucian) efficiency.

Milli: Right. Come on.
Charlotte: He's coming?
Milli: (sighs) Yes.
Lucian: Er... why -
Natalie: Still in potential danger.
Charlotte: So, you're taking him into battle.
William: (reassuringly) I'll be there too.
Charlotte: ...

Natalie: Well, Andy isn't here, you can get in the boot!
Charlotte: ... I'll stay behind. Just... be careful.
William: Of course...
Escher: Where is Andy anyway?


Cut to Andy face down in front of a half-finished essay.


And back to the group parking the car.

Natalie: So you called him on Jake's phone.
Milli: He answered, didn't he?
Natalie: What have you done with... the rest of his... things?
Milli: Well, I put the ashes on, um... Milli's grave.

Natalie looks at her, surprised.

Milli: I can't exactly call it my grave. Even though I remember now how she... how I...

She looks away and quickly gets out of the car.

Natalie looks at Escher. He furrows his brow and looks away.

William leans on his cane as he joins Milli in front of the house.

William: Well, this is... dilapidated.
Milli: I'll go round the back, get in subtly.

She holds up her lockpicks and points at them enthusiastically.

Natalie and William share a look.

Natalie: Subtle?
Milli: I can be subtle.

She stops waving her lockpicks and holds them behind her.

Milli: I'm sure I was subtle once. At a party or something.
William: We're not sure they're vampires.
Milli: But we are sure they're bad guys.

She turns to go, then pauses and turns back.

Milli: Matthew, you... no, wait... no... yes! ... No...
Natalie: Should come with you.
Milli: Right.
Matthew: Um?
Natalie: Lucian, stay behind us... well, not behind all of us. Between us. Sort of in the middle of us. And, er, I don't think you're quite ready for a crossbow yet. Here's some holy water...
Lucian: And could I maybe get a stake as well? Not a very big one, even...
William: This'd be easier with more of us.
Natalie: We might not have time -

She looks over to Milli for agreement, and sees that she's already gone.

Milli is, in fact, already unlocking the back door.

Natalie: Can I kick it down now?
Milli: Almost... got it... And if anyone's kicking this door down...

She opens the lock, looking pleased with herself.

Matthew follows her inside, looks ahead, and goes to open the front door for the others.

Matthew: Smells like incense.
Milli: Sounds like chanting. What language is it?
Matthew: It's... English. How disappointing.

Milli puts her ear to the door to the basement:

Vampire 2: - And we shall draw out the strength and fire of the slayer -

Milli looks back, sees that the others are coming in, and kicks the door down.

Seven vampires turn and snarl at her.

A stone hangs in mid-air, glowing from within.

Vampire 2: And we'll draw your strength out first. Kill them!


Craig Oxbrow

Ah, y'know. This guy.
Validated User
The Watch House Season Five, Episode Six, Act Four

Sunnydale, California

Buffy Summers wakes with a start and rubs her forehead, wincing in pain.

Buffy: Ow... what the hell...?


Milli tuts disapprovingly as the vampires charge up the stairs.

Milli: Vampire hippies!
Matthew: They don't look like hippies!
Milli: Chanting? Incense?

She keeps up her stream of invective as she parries the lead vampire's sword.

Milli: Crystal power! Magic rocks!
Vampire 2: Finish the ritual!
Matthew: It's very... glowy.

Matthew raises a hand, and a bolt of white light streaks out of it and blasts Vampire 1 across the room.

Lucian screams and runs off.

Simon shakes his head, glowers at Matthew and follows.

The remaining vampires attempt to keep up the chant.


Buffy sways slightly as she stumbles into the bathroom and looks at her reflection, pulls down her lower eyelid, checks her tongue.

Buffy: If Dawn gave me the flu, I will -


Vampire 2: Feast on her heart!
Milli: You sure get cranky when you -

She dives past the vampire, grabs the crystal and rolls away. The light fades abruptly.

Milli: - have stuff like this happen to you.


Buffy stretches and rolls her head around.

Buffy: Musta just slept funny.

She shrugs, and reaches for her toothbrush.


Milli: Matthew, are we destroying -
Matthew: NO!
Milli: ... Okay then.

She holds it to her, like a rugby ball, as she parries another attack. She kicks the vampire back. Simon grabs it, pins it to the wall and stakes it.

Lucian looks around the door. Vampire 1 leaps out at him, roaring. He grabs a stake and throws it at him.

It bounces off his face.

Vampire 1: ... Ouch.

William tuts and beheads the vampire with his swordcane. Lucian stumbles backwards again.

Milli impales Vampire 2 with her sword, elbows him in the face, and then ducks as Natalie lines up and shoots him through the heart.

Matthew takes the stone from Milli, looks at it for a moment, and the glow fades out entirely.


Buffy wanders back to her room, whistling.


Charlotte: So, the vampires were trying to -

Charlotte's train of thought is interrupted as Helen runs up to the group in the Basement that night.

Helen: Guys! Did you hear about the break-in at the Mother Moon Emporium? They stole some kind -
Milli: We know.
Helen: We know?
Milli: We dealt.
Helen: We dealt?
Milli: Yeah.
Helen: ... You're good.

She smiles coyly at Simon.

William: We took away their shiny rock.
Matthew: Magic rock.
Lucian: So what do you do with that?
Matthew: It's been... defused now.
Lucian: And is that the thing that did the whoosh?

He gestures emphatically with his hand.

Matthew: Oh, ah... no. We may be more used to spectacular methods of vampire killing than you.
Lucian: (deadpan) You think so?
Natalie: Holy water is your friend.
Lucian: Helps if it breaks... Where can I buy a supersoaker?
William: Tried that. You can't keep the pressure high enough to be really effective without major retrofitting.
Lucian: ... Oh.

Natalie nods to the dancefloor as Lush's Olympia starts to play. Matthew looks confused. She takes his hand and leads him off.

Helen: Um...
Simon: Hm?

He looks at Milli and William. Milli nods. William shrugs. Simon nods and shrugs as well, and follows Helen out onto the floor.

Lavinia gestures towards the crowd. Thomas glances around for a moment, notes Natalie with a nod, then follows her.

William: So... dancing.
Milli: Yes, they are...
Charlotte: Isn't it cute...
Milli: Erm... I guess?

William nods, glancing down at his own leg. Charlotte looks at the table. Milli glances sidelong at them.

Milli: I'll, um, I'll get some more drinks in.

We follow her past the crowd dancing. Simon mostly tapping his feet and watching Helen, Matthew looking self-conscious as Natalie moves with the rhythm, Lavinia trying not to be seen watching her, Thomas perfectly happy to be...


Craig Oxbrow

Ah, y'know. This guy.
Validated User
The Watch House Season Five, Episode Six, follow-up

Next time, on The Watch House:

Matthew glaring at Natalie and Thomas.

Thomas looking at Natalie questioningly.

Natalie looking at Thomas, totally confused.

A man in a bright red costume, mask and cape leaping over a fence on a white charger.

The next episode of The Watch House is Secret Identity.


DVD Commentary

(As Simon steps up to the bar, Helen leans in, smiling brightly.)
Cat: No good can come of this.
Craig: You might think that. I couldn't possibly comment.

(Everyone looks at the screen.)
Cat: That's so going in the credits.
Lucy: And we'll be lit up by the glow from the screen...

(Matthew: What if she doesn't want to know? What if she does? Will you - can you - would you come along?
Natalie: Of course.)
Cat: Ooh...

(Owner: Clearly your friend is very angry.)
Craig: (deadpan) Wow! Such insight! She must be psychic!

(Milli takes out Jake's phone)
Lucy: So what else does Milli have of his?
Cat: Well, um... what is there?
Lucy: Jake's possessions... His guitar... his house in the countryside...
Craig: I assume the court gave the house to his family.
Cat: He didn't have a will?
Craig: He was twenty-one!
Stuart: Matthew has a will!
Lucy: Oh? What do I get?
Stuart: Nothing.
Lucy: Grrr!
Craig: So anyway, no. No will. You just kept all of his things... (pauses and laughs) You killed him and took his stuff!
Cat: Oh God!
Craig: And you've been posting on RPGnet a bit more too...

(Sunnydale, California)
Craig: Yes, the guys get to save Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Because, hey, they deserve it.
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