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Dome Raid: Feedback Exchange

Willy Elektrix

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Validated User
Hello! I've been writing an RPG for about a year now. I'm nearing completion on a first draft and I wanted to get some more opinions. I've been working pretty much in isolation.

Here is a link to a PDF of my manuscript. This is not the complete manuscript. It is a document about the game's story and setting. It does not contain any rules. I'm looking for feedback on whether the setting as describes makes sense. I also want to know what other information a player or gamemaster would need to know. I've outlined a few more of my questions and concerns in the document's introduction.

The game is called Dome Raid. It's set in a post-human sci-fi world. Long after all the humans died, alien explorers find Earth and are fascinated with the ruins of human civilization. They terraform the planet and transform it into a living museum and theme park. They build domes themed after various regions and periods in Earth's mystery. Kingdome is based on medieval England. Dinodome is based on prehistoric Africa. Discodome is based on 1970s America. The aliens populate these domes with android reenactors and genetically modified plants and animals.

Everything is going great until a comet comes and wreaks havoc on Earth. Many of the domes are destroyed. The androids go insane. The plants and animals mutate. The PCs in Dome Raid are "dome raiders" enlisted by the megacorporation that controls Earth. They enter the domes to retrieve valuable artifacts, rescue hostages, and wage war against the hostile androids.

This document is 30,000 words long, so I realize that a lot of time is required to read it. That's why I am willing to read your manuscript in exchange. We can exchange work at whatever level you want. If you want to give my manuscript a quick skim, I'll be happy to do the same for you. If you want to read every word and give detailed feedback, I can do that as well. If you would like to set up some other exchange, I could be open to that as well.

Here is a link to my PDF manuscript. I look forward to hearing from you.
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