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Gamer's etiqutte question

Ashikaider

seeker of things AWESOME
Here's the situation; most of a group agrees to play a game, but there's one guy who doesn't like the system. However, said guy expresses intent to show anyway.

Would you tell the guy not to show, or would you let him show up anyway?
 

Mr. Grieves

Retired User
Is he going to play even though he doesn't like it?
If he is, is he going to do it without constantly bitching about it?
If both answers are yes, then sure.
 

Law Dog

I don't like you!
Validated User
Why would you tell him not to come if he wants to? I've played in more than one game where I thought the system was crap (M&M comes to mind) where I still had fun playing.
 

tobygrandjean

Registered User
Validated User
Of course let him play.
Unless he reduces the fun quota of the group (through constant bitching) I don't see what the problem is.
 

Mike McCall

Registered User
Validated User
I have played in games where I was not a fan of the rules, and I have encouraged others to play in games of mine where they were dubious of the system.

It all comes down to: if you're there, you are expected to play, by the rules, and not complain overmuch (though the occasional sigh of frustration is allowed).
 

Ashikaider

seeker of things AWESOME
the situation is like this, said person has an irrational hatred hatred of 4e (IMO, he hasn't given it a fair chance), the rest of us like it, and would play if there were a game going on. Thus he's admitted would not play, but would show up just to socialise. Personally, I feel that leads to disruption and bad vibes at the table, thus my asking here.
 

Law Dog

I don't like you!
Validated User
Well, that changes up the question a bit.

I'll follow it up with a question of my own. How is he going to ever change his mind about the system unless he gets a chance to see it being played by his gaming friends who are having fun doing so?

My advice, have an NPC he can take over if he looks interested.
 

Nick the Nevermet

Concept Monger
Validated User
Nasty spot. Good luck handling it.

In your place, I'd let him go (though I'd ask why he thinks he'll have fun hanging out while others game), but call him on any antics early and often. Do so politely and kindly.

I"ve gamed with roomates, SOs, and other friends around where it worked out fine, but none of them demanded equal attention as the game for that period of time. I worry he may get the exact opposite of what he wants (inclusion).

Also, depending on what kind of irrational hatred he has, perhaps he can be sucked in, or given monsters to play during combat, etc.
 

doomfistmonk

Retired User
Yeah, you have to get it "on the record" between you and him ... is he coming to play and is he going to bring his best game even if he doesn't like the system. If he is just coming to socialize or if he is going to play reluctantly, then suggest he don't come. That's tricky, I realize. After all, he is part of the gaming group, which is also a social group. So, you don't want to totally ostracize him.

The other thing you might try is recruiting him to help you run the game. Could he play key NPC's or monsters for you? That way it would be hard for him to sabotage the game as a reluctant player.
 

Vinzent

Registered User
Validated User
Give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm a patient gm, but if he shows up and tries to sabotage the game, he's out of the game group. If he shows up and occasional mentions how his favorite system does it better, it's fine provided it's only occasionally.

That said, I've played in a lot of games where the system was one I didn't like. It never really mattered to me unless I was running it. He deserves the opportunity to play until he makes an asterix of himself.
 
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