Ahh, Finaira, you are a lucky woman! I'm totally gay, but Levi's awesome.I'm the spouse in question, and I can tell you this: That was a stupid way for me to frame and handle the situation, and had plenty to do with me buying in to the "GM's girlfriend" trope.
You see: I can learn from my fuckups, and I do.
Finaira wants to give everyone else a chance to learn from those fuckups - both mine and those of others -and present how they shaped her views?
Then I advise folks to listen; I'd have learned more, faster, if I had listened better, sooner.
Actually, yes, it does tend to help. Not with everything, mind you. I still find that men don't notice that they are talking over women regardless of how many women there are.I have found these issues tend to fade away so long as you keep the group 1/2 girls or higher.
That doesn't seem to actually be the source of the trouble in Finiara's anecdotes. To further elaborate, I submit that if you think that one spouse should not be allowed to play in a game where the other is GMing, you have a problematic understanding of marital relationships, GMing, or both.If gaming with your husband is causing all sorts of interpersonal havoc, probably best to avoid gaming with your husband.
I think it's really easy to do--this stuff is pretty deeply ingrained in our culture. I've seen it happen and not happen; I've seen it sneak up on some people and be avoided by others with seeming effortlessness. I don't think the difference is that the former people (e.g., you) are immature or that the latter people are awesome.. . . and had plenty to do with me buying in to the "GM's girlfriend" trope.
Old Geezer is extremely wise.When somebody treats you badly in a game because you're female, the first thing to do is ask yourself if they have good stuff.
Agreed, although I think there are also other factors, that are more extrinsic to the hobby itself, that are present.I think these kinds of stories need to be shared so people will realize that there are still groups and barriers to women playing and there's a reason there aren't as many women in the hobby. And it has absolutely nothing to do with women not enjoying roleplaying.