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[In Which I Watch] Sailor Moon

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Mr Teufel

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The reason why Shadowjack's threads are so successful is that he is a great storyteller.
 

Naxuul

Emo hair power!
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Come to think of it, she never wears them out of costume, does she? Rei dresses mostly traditionally compared to the others.
I believe later we find out that Rei's dream is to be a bigtime fashion designer(And in other episodes bigtime actress, bigtime singer etc). One could take it that her senshi outfit's more flashy and glamorous accessories is that part of herself coming out.

-Naxuul
 

Shadowjack

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The reason why Shadowjack's threads are so successful is that he is a great storyteller.
I try to be, thank you! And some day—some day!—I vow I shall have something published or otherwise distributed in commercial-type channels. By my sword, er, pen. Keyboard and tablet? Anyway, first that, then ZE VORLD!
 

PenguinZero

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Mizuno Ami translates roughly as "Friend of Water". The archaic Japanese term for Mercury is roughly "Water Star."

Hino Rei is close to "Spirit of Fire" and likewise also puns on Mars's name being "Fire Star"
Not just archaic, actually. The Western names for the planets are occasionally used in Japanese, but more commonly they use traditional kanji names for them. (There's even kanji names for the ones that weren't discovered until the modern era, though those are actually based on the Western names. For instance, Neptune is kaiousei the 'sea king star,' because Neptune was god of the sea.)

Also, the 'no' in the family names isn't actually the grammatical particle, though it was definitely chosen for the pun value. It's actually a kanji meaning 'field' or 'plains.'

Random trivia: Here's the names of the planets and their meanings.

水星 -- suisei -- 'water star' -- Mercury
金星 -- kinsei -- 'gold star' -- Venus
地球 -- chikyuu -- Earth
月 -- tsuki -- Moon
火星 -- kasei -- 'fire star' -- Mars
木星 -- mokusei -- 'wood star' -- Jupiter
土星 -- dosei -- 'earth/ground star' -- Saturn
天王星 -- tenousei -- 'heaven king star' -- Uranus
海王星 -- kaiousei -- 'sea king star' -- Neptune
冥王星 -- meiousei -- 'dark king star' -- Pluto (which of course hadn't yet been demoted when Sailor Moon was running)

The senshi introduced so far all have the first kanji of their planets' names in their last names, but mostly with alternate pronunciations -- 'mizu' instead of 'sui,' for instance, or 'hi' instead of 'ka.'
 

Shadowjack

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Random trivia: Here's the names of the planets and their meanings.

水星 -- suisei -- 'water star' -- Mercury
金星 -- kinsei -- 'gold star' -- Venus
地球 -- chikyuu -- Earth
月 -- tsuki -- Moon
火星 -- kasei -- 'fire star' -- Mars
木星 -- mokusei -- 'wood star' -- Jupiter
土星 -- dosei -- 'earth/ground star' -- Saturn
天王星 -- tenousei -- 'heaven king star' -- Uranus
海王星 -- kaiousei -- 'sea king star' -- Neptune
冥王星 -- meiousei -- 'dark king star' -- Pluto (which of course hadn't yet been demoted when Sailor Moon was running)

The senshi introduced so far all have the first kanji of their planets' names in their last names, but mostly with alternate pronunciations -- 'mizu' instead of 'sui,' for instance, or 'hi' instead of 'ka.'
Hmm, looks like the later-discovered planet names were adapted from the Western names—but not simply transliterated. Interesting. Ya learn somethin' new every day!
 

Shadowjack

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Episode 14: A Powerful New Enemy! Nephrite's Evil Crest.

• RECAP:
"My name is Usagi Tsukino and I have a magic cat. Together, we fight crime… with the able assistance of the smart and sweet Ami Mizuno, and the slightly quick-tempered psychic girl Rei Hino. Both are so dependable, I feel like I'll fall behind. But anyway, I just have to do my best!"
"¡HELL YEAH!" "W00t!"
"High-five! High-fives all around. Good? You like?"
"We like."



• LENG:
Nephrite, a redheaded Adonis: "Jadeite just stole energy at random, from the common masses. I shall steal energy from elite individuals at the height of their powers!"
Queen Beryl: "Sounds good t–"
Nephrite: "And I shall be guided by ASTROLOGY!"
Zoisite, ponytailed blond /appears. "Yes, because the horoscope is never wrong."
Nephrite /very serious. "Shut. Up."
Zoisite /LOL :) XOXOXOXO
{Zoisite has left the scene.}
Queen Beryl: "…"
Queen Beryl /shrugs.
Queen Beryl: "I leave this in your hands."



• AND SO:
A haunted mountain with a mansion in the center appears on the Overworld Map right next to the town. Of course no one notices.

The Overworld Map music has also changed.



• INSIDE THE HAUNTED MANSION:
You cannot deny that Nephrite has an impressive orrery.



• WHEEL OF PLANETS, turn, turn, turn! Tell us the victim that he will burn. And today's victim is: Tennis Player Rui.



• THAT DAY AT SCHOOL: We're watching a tennis match.
Usagi: "I can do this exposition! The ponytailed girl that all the paparazzi are after is Rui Saionji, our school's star tennis player! Now, why do we care?"
Naru: "Because she and I practically grew up together, so we're like sisters to each other!"
Usagi: "Thank you, Naru!"
Naru: "Thank you, Usagi!"



• SUDDENLY:
Nephrite /is "too cool" to simply walk anywhere.
Nephrite /speeds up to the school in his red Ferrari Testarossa and bootleggers to a stop in the first available parking space.
Nephrite /is revealed, when the crowd parts, to be already standing and watching the game, very seriously.
Nephrite /forward flips over the chainlink fence without even taking his hands out of his pockets, because gates are for squares.

Rumor Mill: "Who is that gorgeous fashion model?"
Rumor Mill: "Supposedly he's a wealthy and eccentric entrepreneur."
Naru and Usagi /swoon.
Tennis Player #1: "Uh, dude! Game in progress!"
Nephrite: "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG." /takes Tennis Player #1's racket.
Nephrite /disarms Rui with a single return service, then shows her what she did wrong.
Rui: "Who are you?"
Nephrite /very serious. "Just a wealthy and eccentric tennis coach."
Rui: "But your name?"
Nephrite: "Masato…uh… Sanjoin."
Rui: "Hey, that's almost an anagram of my last name! Even in kana!"
Nephrite /invests tennis racket with demonic power. Everything goes black and white for a moment.
Nephrite /Subject Changing Prana. "Here's your racket back."
Rui /is possessed.
Nephrite: "Try what I showed you. Any volunteers?"
Rui Groupie #1: "Me! Pick me!"
Rui Groupie #2: "Hey, how'd you get in there?"
Tennis Player #1: "Why do we even bother to have a fence up?"
Rui /takes out Groupie #1 with a single shot, disintegrating the ball from the force. Another six inches to the left and that's not all it would have disintegrated.
Nephrite /disappeared while no one was looking at him.
Rui /takes out every tennis player in school, one after another.
Rui: "SUCH POWER."



• THAT NIGHT: Luna checks in at the video arcade.
Friend Computer: "Good evening, Troubleshooter! We have discovered the identity of the Enemy!"
Luna: "Wow, really?"
Friend Computer: "DID YOU DOUBT THE COMPUTER?"
Luna: "No! No, of course not, Friend Computer, I am merely so eager to fight Commie subversion that I don't know what I'm saying."
Friend Computer: "Good! Now then: the Enemy belongs to a Secret Society called the Dark Kingdom, and for reasons not available at your security clearance, they are attempting to accumulate human energy. Monitor and terminate! And Have a Nice Day!"



• PLANNING SESSION at the Shrine.
Rei: "¿Dark Kingdom? ¡Let's go there and take 'em!"
Phobos: "Yeah, let's do it!"
Deimos: "We have to find it first."
Ami: "We're not high enough level yet."
Luna: "I agree, you guys need to kill a lot more minibosses before you'll be ready."
Usagi: "Or we could play the tennis minigame! I know a really hunky coach…"
Rei: "Oh, ¿so you're leaving Tuxedo Mask to me?"
Usagi: "What? No. Hell, no. I'm willing to try polyandry."
Usagi: "What's that noise?"
Luna /grinding teeth. "I'm glad I have Ami and Rei. If Usagi was all I had, the Dark Kingdom would have drained the whole world by now."
Rei: "Maybe you made a mistake when you picked her."
Phobos: "Cat powers aren't infallible, you know."
Deimos: "You thought you were supposed to kill Ami instead of recruit her, so maybe instead of recruiting Usagi you were supposed to–"
Usagi: "YOU ALL SUCK."
Ami: "Come on, guys, she's not that incompetent!"
Usagi: "AMI YOU'RE MY ONLY TRUE FRIEND."
Ami: "I'm not sure I'd go that far."
Usagi: "Oh, go to your cram school."



• BACK TO THE TENNIS MATCH:
BLAM! Rui shatters another tennis racket, and crushes it beneath her tennis-shod heel.
Tennis Player #1 /cowers.
Rui: "All too easy. MUAHAHAHAHA."



• NARU'S PLACE:
Naru: "I have a desperate need for girltalk."
Usagi: "At your disposal!"
Naru: "I'm worried about Rui because she always so nice to me and would chase off bullies with a stick when they'd pull my pigtails and she was the model of good sportsmanship but now she's stomping on people's rackets and laughing evilly and when she looked at me and told me to go away my neck started hurting again and I'M SCARED."
Usagi /hugs.
Usagi /rolls up sleeves. "What we need to do is investigate! Don't worry, I'm kind of becoming an expert at this."



• METROPOLIS TENNIS CLUB:
Usagi: "I have a bad feeling about this."
Usagi: "But, hey! I'll get all the experience for this encounter. BWAHAHA!"
Naru /?



• ON THE COURT: A "cut-throat" game, aka "Australian doubles."
Rui has a serious case of Black Lagoon eyes. Two adult tennis players are on their knees before her, begging for mercy.
Rui: "STAND UP AND DIE LIKE MEN."
Tennis Player #2: "My arm, she broke my arm!"
Tennis Player #3: "I'm only an amateur! Please, in the name of God, I'll forfeit!"
Usagi /interposes herself.
Tennis Players /scarper.
Usagi: "You've won. Let it go."
Rui: "GET OUT OF MY WAY!"
Naru: "Rui! What's happened to you?!"
Rui /swings her racket with the force of a sonic boom. Usagi and Naru go flying.



• O HORRORS!
The fucking scariest bit of animation in the series to date. All seems to turn blood red, light and shadow twist inward upon each other. Rui screams in pain, her face a contorted mask of pain, her eyes roll up, and she collapses in a twitching heap. The dark energy swirling from her racket begins to coalesce, and then, terrifyingly, assumes the suggestion of a human form… and then abruptly is one.

Pause.

Usagi: "What the fuck is the point of making an awesome entrance like that, if you're going to ruin it by manifesting as a middle-aged retro-80s drag queen?!"
Tennis Demon: "Shut up!"
Naru: "Wait, is that a demon?"
Usagi: "The blast didn't knock you out? You're still conscious?"
Naru: "Why, is there something I'm not supposed to–?"
Usagi /karate chops Naru on the back of the head.
Naru /K.O.
Usagi: "Looks like it's time for action!"



• STARKLY CORUSCANT TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE COUNTER:
Usagi into Sailor Moon: 14
Usagi into Disguise Form: 5
Ami into Sailor Mercury: 4
Rei into Sailor Mars: 3



• FIGHT!
Usagi: "I am the terror that trips in the night, I am the rain that makes your tennis balls cold and wet and waterlogged and so unpleasant to handle that even the dog doesn't want them. I AM SAILOR MOON!"
<< Demon uses Lethal Magic Serve upon Usagi! >>
<< Usagi receives Tennis Ball status condition! >>
The attack encases Usagi in a giant tennis ball, her limbs and head exposed, inventing a new fetish.
Usagi: "Aw, hell no!"
The demon proceeds to bounce Usagi all around the court, into various uncomfortable positions.
Usagi: "guess"
Usagi: "I"
Usagi: "should"
Usagi: "have"
Usagi: "brought"
Usagi: "back"
Usagi: "up"




• BUT WAIT, WHO'S THIS?
Enter Tuxedo Mask, dramatically, armed with +3 blessed throwing roses.
Tennis Demon: "You want to end up a tennis ball like her?"
Tuxedo Mask: "It looks like fun."
Usagi: "I don't like you any more!"
Tuxedo Mask: "Why don't you try it yourself?"
Tennis Demon: "Bite me!"
Chair Umpire: "Code Violation!"



• BATTLE STAGE 2:
<< Demon attacks Tuxedo Mask! >>
<< Tuxedo Mask dodges! >>
Tuxedo Mask /disarms the Tennis Demon with the Compliant Rod.
Usagi is freed!
Usagi /applauds. "Nice rod!"
Tuxedo Mask: "Monkey King lent it to me. Fireballs."
Usagi: "Fireballs?"
<< Demon uses Fireballs! >>
<< Tuxedo Mask dodges! >>
<< Usagi dodges, barely! >>
<< Demon uses Fireballs! >>
<< Usagi dodges! >>
<< Demon uses Fireballs! >>
<< Usagi dodges! >>
<< Demon uses Fireballs! >>
<< Usagi dodges! >>
Usagi: "Help!"
Tuxedo Mask /swoops in and scoops up Usagi, just like Superman and Lois Lane.

{Tuxedo Mask is now a playable character.}
Usagi: "Awesome!"
<b>< ??????? : TECH > ROSE2 : DEMON ></b>
Tuxedo Mask /throws a rose in the demon's fucking face!
Tennis Demon is blinded!
<< Tuxedo Mask is out of energy! >>
Tuxedo Mask /collapses.
Tuxedo Mask: "Don't worry about me!"
Usagi: "Okay!"
<b>< USAGI : TECH > MOONTIARA : DEMON ></b>
<< Demon is slain! >>
<< Tuxedo Mask has levelled up! New technique mastered! >>
<< Usagi has levelled up! >>

{Rei, Ami, and Luna have arrived!}
Chair Umpire: "Game, set, match to Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask."
{Tuxedo Mask has left the party.}
Usagi: "Frell! What, only three characters at a time?"
Rei /takes in the wrecked and smoldering tennis court and clubhouse.
Rei: "Not bad."
Luna: "…hell, I don't like tennis anyway. We'll call this a job well done."
Ami /sulks.



• DENOUEMENT:
Naru: "Rui's all back to normal, and says she doesn't remember a thing."
Usagi: "A completely reasonable and acceptable excuse."
Rui: "Wanna play a little, Naru?" :)
Naru /giggles. "Sure, but go easy on me!"
Rui /serves.
Naru /smashes the ball directly into Usagi's head.
Usagi /K.O.
Naru: "Gosh, I don't remember a thing."
Chair Umpire: "Code Violation!"
 
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Unka Josh

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And here we hit the sub-or-dub moment-- what gender is Zoi, again?
 
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