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[In Which I Watch] Sailor Moon

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Shadowjack

Cartoon Poet
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Episode #17: Is Usagi a Model? The Focus of the Monster Camera.

• RECAP:
"One thousand years ago, superstition and the sword ruled. It was a time of darkness, it was a world of fear, it was the age of Senshi. Girls by day, warriors by night, we were betrayed by the humans we had sworn to protect, frozen in stone by a magic spell for a thousand years. Now, here in– uh–"
"Tokyo."
"–Tokyo, ¡the spell is broken and we live again! ¡We are defenders of the night, we are SAILOR SENSHI!"



• LUNCH TIME!
Naru: "Observe these award-winning photographs, taken by one Kijin Shinokawa, a mere junior high student with raccoon-striped hair."
Usagi: "ZOMG Ami he goes to a school that's near to Rei's school!"
Ami: "…So?"
Usagi: "So let's go get his autograph!"
Ami: "I have cram school."
Usagi: "I bet you're just using that as an excuse."
Ami /pats Usagi on the arm. "Don't mind me, hon. Go run off and get the signature of a guy you never heard of until five minutes ago, and I'll settle for improving my mind."
Usagi: "I should never have taught you how to use sarcasm."
Ami: "Luna helped, too."



• CUT TO: A school that's near to Rei's school!
Reporter #1: "Raccoon Boy! Are these pictures merely awesome, or so awesome?"
Raccoon Boy: "Uh… I guess just merely awesome, because I'm bashful."
Usagi: "ZOMG it's– Rei?"
Rei: "Okay, seriously, since when were you an art photography groupie?"
Usagi: "Since about an hour ag– NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"
Raccoon Boy: "Golly, please don't fight."



• THAT EVENING: Beautiful Sunset Cliff
Raccoon Boy is beyond the safety rail, looking for that perfect shot. When suddenly! The cliff gives way, and he falls–
Nephrite /DARING LAST-MINUTE SAVE! Seriously, he should be an action hero or a danger agent or something. The pay has to be better.
Raccoon Boy: "Gosh, thanks!"
Nephrite /summons a demon to possess the camera, and hands it back to Raccoon Boy.
Nephrite /very serious. "It'd be a shame for such a promising photographer to fall to his death. I'm a big fan of yours. Keep up the good work."
Raccoon Boy /is strangely stirred.
Nephrite /thinks: "What does it say about me that I destroy or pervert the few things on this 'Earth' that I respect?"



• NEPHRITE'S EVIL MANSION
Wheel of Fate, turn, turn, turn, tell us the mortal that he will burn! And the victim of today's story is: Kijin Shinokawa, Tanuki Photographer!

Nephrite sez: "By photographing numerous young women, his energy level will increase!"

And how you doin'? ;)



• THAT NIGHT: Raccoon Boy polishes his lens.
Raccoon Boy: "I just want to take exploita– I mean, explosive pictures of young girls! MUAHAHAHA!"

He's getting bags under his eyes, he must be forgetting his energy drinks. And if you caught that reference, children, I applaud you.



• AND SO: Tsukino Residence.
Usagi: "Observe this advertisement for Raccoon Boy's latest photographic project: he needs amateur female models, as many as possible, and it's free! I MUST PARTICIPATE!"
Luna: "Yes, yes, and it's held at Ackbar's Perfectly Safe Hotel–"
Usagi: "WRONG! It's held at Jeff's Low Expectations Convention Center! So there!"
Luna: "Anyway. My mysterious backers have provided us with an equipment upgrade."
Usagi: "Why, it's a pocket-sized communications device with camera and text input functions, far in advance of Earthly technology! I never imagi— Okay, seriously, is this show that old? I mean, cameras, sure, but they had cell phones in '92, didn't they?"
Luna: "Not as we know them, no. Big bulky clumsy fuckers, and texting networks were only just beginning to be tested in Finland."
Usagi: "Finland? Well, we seem to be in Japan again this week, so I guess this is super-technology. For which the best possible use is to gossip with Ami!"
Luna: "Stop wasting our precious Lunar bandwidth!"
Usagi /dials. "Hey, Ami, watcha doin'?"
Ami /picks up. "Studying."
Usagi: "…"
Usagi /hangs up.
Luna: "Now call up Rei. I want to hear her heckle you."
Usagi: "What was Alexander Graham Bell thinking?"



• LATER THAT NIGHT: Another cycle of hideous domestic abuse while Mom makes dinner.
Shingo: "My dearest sister, this advertisement clearly requests ladies of good manner and bearing, therefore the reasons why you would not qualify should surely be self-evident."
Usagi: "Mother! I request your mediation in this disagreement."
Shingo: "I am afraid, my lovely daughter, that your brother's objections are entirely merited."
Usagi: "My finer qualities are terribly underappreciated in this household, and I shall now retreat to commiserate with a person who understands me like no one else!"



• SUBSEQUENTLY: The Video Arcade.
Motoki: "Don't give up before you start! The most important thing is to challenge yourself."
Usagi /purrs. "You're the only one who supports me, Motoki."
Mister Mysterious Dark Glasses: "I think he's right."
Usagi: "You're the only two who support me, Motoki and, er, what's-your-name?"
Mamoru /removes his dark glasses and waves! "You'll fail anyway, kid, but still, the important thing is to try."
Usagi: "GAH!"
Mamoru: "Besides, don't feel bad when he kicks you out. True beauty doesn't come from looks, it's what inside that counts! Heart and guts! A girl's gotta have guts! Huge guts!"
Usagi: "…Hey, really?"
Mamoru: "Sure. Of course, you don't have either, but…"
Usagi: "GAH! He tasks me! Why, oh, gods, why?"
Mamoru: "This photographer's probably a perv, anyway."
Usagi /exits in a huff.
Motoki: "The way you two fight, you'd think you were in love or something."
Mamoru: "Heh. Now that you say it, it sure sounds like it, doesn't it? Nonsense, of course."



• ANOTHER DAY:
Usagi is standing by the gate.
Lump lump lump lump.
Shingo /?
Lump lump lump lump.
Shingo /leans close.
Usagi: "…"
Lump lump lump lump.
Shingo: "Your motor's running."
Usagi /bestills her beating heart. "I'm just… hopeful, okay?"
Shingo: "Doom. Doom. Doom. Doom."
Usagi: "I am killing you with my mind."
Mailman: "Usagi Tsukino! Letter for Usagi Tsukino! Are you Usagi Tsukino? Letter for you!"
Usagi /reads.
Shingo: "…"
Usagi: "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! NO TIME FOR LOSERS!"



• THEREFORE: Usagi practices her posture and diction.
Usagi: "The rain in Spain stays mainly–"
Luna: "Please don't mention planes. Please."
Usagi: "DON'T SCREW ME UP! And don't forget, I have to practice singing, too!"
Luna: "I can think of three songs with appropriate titles, but which is funnier, the Cure, the Vapors, or Oingo Boingo?"
Usagi /ignoring her. "This dress is good, but I need a swimsuit, too… CRAP! My suit is all moth-eaten!"
Luna: "Yes. Obviously moths, it surely couldn't have been anything else that occasionally chews or even claws on things. Ahem."



• LATER THAT DAY: Jeff's Low Expectations Convention Center, with Cable and Pool.
Raccoon Boy /Spark Rant. "My genius must not be interrupted! You shall all obey by coming in specific order when called and at no other time!"
Luna: "I've got a bad feeling about this."
Usagi: "Artists tend to be a bit weird. Why, I heard of this cartoonist who–"
Luna: "Hello, ladies!"
Naru and Ms. Haruna: "What a coincidence seeing you here!"



• THE DRESSING ROOM:
Usagi practices her smile: :) :D ;) :cool: :p ^_^
Ms. Haruna and Naru keep nervously gauging their appearance against the other, which isn't wise of either of them given the difference in age. (Ms. Haruna looks pretty damn good, and Naru looks fourteen.)
Naru: "You did bring a swimsuit, right?"
Usagi: "Er, yeah… uh…"
Naru: "We're all girls here."
Usagi: "I'm nervous about the suit." /reveals.
Naru: "OMG the cutest ribbons SQUEE!"
Usagi /phew! "Ribbons. Fashion's universal accent and patch-job."
Naru and Ms. Haruna: "Okay! Let's go!" /dash out.
Luna /dash in. "Usagi! Bad guys!"
Usagi: "I roll to disbelieve."
Luna /cat nose bump, cat rub, cat paw. "The camera steals souls! Quick, call in the cavalry on your gizmophone. I lack opposable thumbs!"
Usagi /takes out the phone, then hesitates. "Since when?"
Luna /leaps up and hits the panic button, then steals part of Usagi's swimsuit and flees.
Usagi: "DIEEEEEEE!"



• AND THE CHASE LEADS TO: The Photo Shoot.
Raccoon Boy: "SMILE! I command you!"
FLASH!
Naru, Ms. Haruna, and Amateur Photo Model #1 and #2 VANISH!
Luna /hands Usagi back her missing piece. "Told you so!"
Usagi: "Wait, wait, wait, that was the special effect for Gyro Gearloose's Spring Cleaning Spray. They're really all safe somewhere else, right? Right?"
Luna: "No, their souls are suffering in HELL."
Usagi: "You're going down, you demon in Raccoon Boy's hair!"
Raccoon Boy: "Stealing souls is a legitimate form of self expression!"
Usagi: "No it isn't!"
Raccoon Boy /hits Usagi!
Usagi /!



• STARKLY CORUSCANT TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE COUNTER:
Usagi into Sailor Moon: 17
Usagi into Disguise Form: 6
Ami into Sailor Mercury: 6
Rei into Sailor Mars: 4



• FIGHT!
Usagi: "Wait, where was I hiding the brooch in this swimsuit?"
Raccoon Boy: "Wow, you're hot! Who are you?"
Usagi: "I AM SA– okay, wait, that's creepy, bud."
Usagi: "All right, Jezebel, COME OUT! The power of the Moon compels you!""

<< Raccoon Boy uses Shutter Bug attack! >>
Usagi /dodges, ducks, and weaves. "I'm trying not to hold this against you, but you're making it very difficult!"
< USAGI : TECH > S. KICK : TANUKIBOY >
Raccoon Boy is disarmed!
The camera falls into the water.

AND EXPLODES!
<< Demon is summoned! >>
Usagi: "Oh, duh, it was the camera. With that hair, I just assumed–"
<< Demon takes a picture of Raccoon Boy! Raccoon Boy disappears! >>
Luna: "Okay, looking at the giant shoulders, and the eyeball hand with extending glowing spines, I gotta say: she looks like an Angel in a swimsuit, and I don't mean Biblical."
Usagi: "Let's switch to Cowboy Bebop references for a while, okay?"
<< Demon uses Shutter Bug attack! >>
<< Usagi dodges! >>
Usagi: "You trust your eyes too much – you're not a chameleon!"
<< Demon uses Shutter Swarm attack! >>
<< Usagi fails to dodge! >>
<< Luna sacrifices herself! Luna disappears! >>
Demon /gives Usagi copies of the pictures.
Usagi /flings them back, weeping. "YOU SUCK!"

< AMI : TECH > BUBBLE1 : DEMON >
< REI : TECH > POWERSEAL : DEMON >
<< Demon takes a picture of the prayer strips! Prayer strips disappear! >>
<< Demon takes a picture of the fog! Fog disappears! >>
<< Demon takes a picture of Sailors Mars and Mercury! Mars and Mercury disappear!>>
Usagi /backs up, waaaaaay up. "So much for the cavalry. Oh Tuxedo Maaaaaaask?"
Demon: "Smile!"
Usagi /realizes she's standing right in front of a full-length mirror.
< USAGI : TECH > BLUESTEEL : SELF >
<< Demon uses Shutter Swarm attack! >>
SFX: Steve Austin jump!
<< Usagi dodges light. >>
<< Demon takes a picture of itself! Demon can't disappear! Demon can't not disappear! Fatal exception! >>
< USAGI : TECH > MOONTIARA : DEMON >
<< Demon is slain! Slowly, painfully, ON FIRE. >>
<< Usagi has levelled up! +1 INT gained. >>

Suddenly! Raccoon Boy, Luna, Sailors Mars and Mercury, Ms. Haruna, Naru, and a hundred other girls in swimsuits rematerialize. All in the same room.
Rei /blinks. "Shortest fight ever! We didn't even get a chance to leave the door…"
Ami: "Sailor Moon? Are you okay?"
Usagi: "I turned left!"



• NEPHRITE'S HAUNTED MANSION:
Nephrite /raises eyebrow in irritation.
Zoisite /appears via holographic projection. "Awwwwwww. It'd be a shame if Queen Beryl found out about this."
Nephrite /very serious. "It'd be a shame if Queen Beryl found out someone was stalking a coworker rather than looking for the MacGuffin like he was ordered to."
Zoisite: "It'd be a shame if– uh… You're recording this conversation, aren't you?" /hangs up.
Nephrite: "Besides, this failure means nothing. Countless beings possess energy on this Earth! COUNTLESS!"



• DENOUE–
Nephrite: "COUNTLESS!"



• DENOUEMENT:
Mom: "Oh, there's a tanuki on the telly!"
Raccoon Boy, on the TV: "I'm taking a sabbatical, because I got taught a valuable life lesson by a wonderful young woman."
Mom, Dad, Shingo: "I wonder who that could be?"
Upstairs, Usagi is asleep and dreaming of being a pretty princess.
 

Jhiday

Unrepentant Froggie
RPGnet Member
Validated User
Re: Episode #17: Is Usagi a Model? The Focus of the Monster Camera.

• RECAP:
"One thousand years ago, superstition and the sword ruled. It was a time of darkness, it was a world of fear, it was the age of Senshi. Girls by day, warriors by night, we were betrayed by the humans we had sworn to protect, frozen in stone by a magic spell for a thousand years. Now, here in– uh–"
"Tokyo."
"–Tokyo, ¡the spell is broken and we live again! ¡We are defenders of the night, we are SAILOR SENSHI!"
Gargoyles ?

By the way, this summary isn't that far from the actual backstory of our show.

And this recap is getting tediously repetitive, isn't it ? Thankfully, they get rid of it later...

Nephrite /DARING LAST-MINUTE SAVE! Seriously, he should be an action hero or a danger agent or something. The pay has to be better.
You are assuming Beryl would just let him quit.

Usagi: "Why, it's a pocket-sized communications device with camera and text input functions, far in advance of Earthly technology! I never imagi— Okay, seriously, is this show that old? I mean, cameras, sure, but they had cell phones in '92, didn't they?"
In the 2003 live-action series, they become novelty cellphones. They also replace the Disguise Vibrator Pen, with the camera feature allowing them to "copy" other people's clothes.

• LATER THAT DAY: Jeff's Low Expectations Convention Center, with Cable and Pool.
*groans at the terrible pun*
At least there aren't any dead people in the pool...

Naru and Ms. Haruna: "What a coincidence seeing you here!"
I had forgotten that Ms. Haruna was initially as often the Victim of the Week as Naru "Youma-Bait" Osaka.

Usagi: "Wait, where was I hiding the brooch in this swimsuit?"
A question best not answered, like where does Luna hide her gizmos before handing them to Usagi.


Anyway, another pretty boring Nephrite episode that actually feels like a recycled Jadeite episode. What was the point of his fancy astrology gimmick if he's going to just use the same tactics as his predecessor ?
(I do like Usagi using her brains for once.)


Okay, so, let's get this all straight (in a manner of speaking): Usagi is crushing on Rei, Motoki, and Tuxedo Mask; Rei's Grandpa chases anything on two legs, including Jadeite, but Jadeite prefers redheaded women; Thetis had an unrequited love for Jadeite; Ami is Rei's fallback date, but Rei is also chasing Mamoru to piss off Usagi, but it's backfiring because Usagi doesn't know that Tuxedo Mask is also Mamoru so she doesn't care; Mamoru has a sorta-kinda thing going with Motoki, and Usagi will be crushed when she figures out that Motoki doesn't like girls that way; Queen Beryl is married to Cthulhu; Zoisite is chasing Nephrite despite having been informed that his attentions are unwanted; and all this gives Luna reason to be grateful that she was fixed
I actually count three errors here, not two.
Spoiler: Show
1) Motoki does like girls that way : his on-off girlfriend Reika will show up later.
2) Queen Beryl's "great ruler" is actually female.
3) Luna certainly hasn't been fixed, as season 4 proves. And it was already made obvious in a later episode in season 1. Also, the second movie.


But yeah, the straight quota is pretty low in this show.
Spoiler: Show
- Makoto had that episode in season 3 where she was pursuing Haruka while knowing full well that she was female.
- Minako had a "special relationship" with Rei in the live-action series.



Anyway, I've now rewatched the first four episodes :
- I had forgotten how creepy that first Opening was. The most bizarre is that most of the surreal stuff never happens in this season (it feels more appropriate for season four). What's the deal with that blimp ?
- It took me some time to reajust to Kotono Mitsuishi's voice for Usagi. I guess I had grown used to Miyuu Sawai's voice. (It doesn't help that the most recent role I've heard Kotono Mitsuishi voice was of a part-time hooker with deep psychological issues in Paranoia Agent...)
- While I do admit that the background music is quite cheesy, I've grown to love most of those tunes. And there's some good ones in there (such as the Dark Kingdom tune playing when we first see the "diet" tubes in Episode 4, or the various jazzy Jadeite themes). On the other hand, some of the stock musical stings are quite painful.
- They used a happy version of the Locket Song for a random comedy shot in Episode 3 ? Those people have no soul...
- Wait, Jadeite wears red earrings ? Jadeite earrings, I presume, though it's not their most common colour.

Maybe it's an allusion to that infamous manga illustration
Spoiler: Show
that had him pairing up with Sailor Mars ?
 

Badgerish

of or relating to badgers
Validated User
There are too many awesome quotes to list here so I'll just use one
He's getting bags under his eyes, he must be forgetting his energy drinks. And if you caught that reference, children, I applaud you.
why can't I forget about this movie? that's right, because the gorram treasure ship, that's why. The gorram happy treasure ship made from
Spoiler: Show
shape-shifting Tanuki nutsack. yes, really.

I should watch more.
 
Last edited:

Cruton

Retired User
Re: Episode #17: Is Usagi a Model? The Focus of the Monster Camera.

He's getting bags under his eyes, he must be forgetting his energy drinks. And if you caught that reference, children, I applaud you.
See, I just thought this meant he had the Windows ME disk hidden somewhere.
 

Cruton

Retired User
Really? I could have sworn
Spoiler: Show
M. hits on a guy
at some point. Probably mixing in some fanfic as thats what I know best. Its sort of weird though how some deconstructions verge on fannon. I mean evil Pluto seems more common then not.
Spoiler: Show
I do remember there was an incredibly forward scene with her seducing a male Taki in the fifth series. It was after a concert they had played together and she asked him to undo the back of her dress. I think Haruka also got a few episodes she gets tender (just emotionally) with fellow racing affectionatos. Plus, I remember Michiru always had a habit of baiting Haruka's jealousy as a kind of foreplay. My impression was that Michiru was more confident and more curious in her sexuality and Haruka still felt a little weird about having an open girlfriend at the start of season 3.
 

Whitemage of DOOM

New member
Banned
Re: Episode #17: Is Usagi a Model? The Focus of the Monster Camera.

Nephrite: "Besides, this failure means nothing. Countless beings possess energy on this Earth! COUNTLESS!"
Which begs the question.
Why are you harvesting it from tokyo? You know the bloody senshi are there, go somewhere else.
 

ru

temporary avatar
RPGnet Member
Validated User
Re: Episode #17: Is Usagi a Model? The Focus of the Monster Camera.

Which begs the question.
Why are you harvesting it from tokyo? You know the bloody senshi are there, go somewhere else.
i wondered this too - but did come up with a fanwank justification for Nephrite at least: he's guided by the stars to astrologically significant people, so it's not all that implausible that they should be in the vicinity of - or even connected to - the Senshi, who apparently derive a similar sort of power.

the same argument doesn't work for Jadeite, though.
 

jcfiala

Code Monkey
Validated User
Re: Episode #17: Is Usagi a Model? The Focus of the Monster Camera.

Which begs the question.
Why are you harvesting it from tokyo? You know the bloody senshi are there, go somewhere else.
My handwavium explanation for that is that Tokyo is currently the easiest place to connect to from the Plateau of Leng - you could try connecting to, say, Shanghai, but the extra costs for the connection would overwhelm what you could collect.

Psychicly speaking, Tokyo, for the bad guys, is the psychic equivalent of a place that's close to the good schools and has a thriving job market.
 
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