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[In Which I Watch] Sailor Moon

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Cartoon Poet
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Re: Episode #5: A Monster's Scent! Chanela Steals Love

They all did in the manga, though they only lasted a couple chapters before being ditched.
No surprise, really – why draw another thing that hides the character's face, when we the audience want to see their facial expressions? :)


of or relating to badgers
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mmmh, Ami Mizuno/Sailor Mercury

another great recap, Luna continues to suffer under her wayward charge but things are looking up!


Cartoon Poet
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EPISODE #9: Usagi's Misfortune! Watch Out for the Rushing Clocks.

"Excuse me, but, um… I don't want to speak out of turn, here."
"No, go right ahead, Ami."
"Well… I know I'm new, but… shouldn't I be mentioned in the recap by now? I mean, I am in the opening titles. I was just wondering, I don't—"
"No, no, it's fine, but I really don't know, I just read the script here. Maybe we got stuck with last week's?"

Queen Beryl: "WHAT? Now there's <i>two</i> of them?! …Of all the <i>nerve.</i> How dare they defend themselves!"
Jadeite: "My Lady, I have a cunning plan!"

• THAT DAY: Usagi takes Ami to the mall.
Ami: "Is it always this busy?"
Usagi: "Come on, you need to act more your age!"

Cue montage of the two laughing and enjoying themselves and generally having a good time.

Ami: "Gurren Lagann sunglasses! What do you think?"
Usagi: "They're you, they're totally you. Buy them. Buy them!

Ami: "Wait, you're scared of Big Bird?"
Usagi: "No, that would be silly. I'm scared of <i>Sesame Street</i> merchandise in general."

Ami: "What book did you get? …<i>Garfield: Really Fat Treasury #3</i>?"
Usagi: "He just gets funnier every year! What did you get? <i>The Ba—</i>, <i>The Baro—</i>"
Ami: "<i>The Baroque Cycle.</i>"
Usagi: "It's <i>a million billion pages long!</i> What is that, the entire history of the world?!"
Ami: "No, just the late 17th century."
Ami: "It's only three volumes."
Ami: "What?"

Usagi: "Oo, new store!"
Ami: "Ackbar's Discount Clocks."
Usagi: "Fancy expensive clocks and watches marked down with ridiculous bargains. I <i>have never</i> seen such a thing before in my entire life!"
Ami: "Nor have I."
Redhead proprietess in a classy dress: "Interested in a watch?"
Ami: "Thank you, I have one. Hey, that clock looks like Luna!"
Usagi: "It does!"
Redhead proprietess in a classy dress: "It's you, it's totally you. Buy it! Buy it!"
Usagi: "Maybe this will help me get to school on time oh <i>crap</i> I'm still broke." /sniffle.
Ami: "Don't cry, don't cry! I promise I'll come by every morning to pick you up!"
Usagi /hugs. "AMI I LOVE YOU"
Ami /blush.

Mom: "…so then I went shopping with Naru and Umino's mothers—"
Usagi: "Umino has parents?"
Mom: "I'm as surprised as you are, dear."
Usagi: "How's Naru's mom, by the way?"
Mom: "Oh, Berry's doing great, though she got in a major catfight with the lady at the clock shop."
Usagi: "Oh, you were there, too?"
Mom: "Yes, Naru's mom had heard about the place from an employee of hers. We got some great bargains. Including—" /dramatic reveal.
Usagi: "You got me the clock I wanted! Best Mom Ever!"

Luna: "In what way does that sneering <i>thing</i> look like me?"
Usagi: "See? Perfect match!"

All the Evil Clocks light up and cast a spell.
Luna /is immune. "I have a bad feeling about this."

Ami: "Hello? Is this the Tsukino Res—?"
Usagi's Dad: "LATE!"
Ami: "Oh, pardon me. Uh, are you Mrs. Tsu—
Usagi's Mom: "LATE!"
Usagi's Mom /twitching like a meth addict. "Usagi left an hour ago because she was LATE and now I gotta go do all the chores before the day ends because it's already seven in the morning where did the time go oh my god AAAAAAAAAAAAAA."
Ami: "Usagi left early. …Something is rotten in the State of Denmark."

School opens an hour early and closes about half an hour later, because almost everyone is in an INCREDIBLE HURRY.
Miss Haruna: "You can all study by yourselves because it'll be faster than this because I have to hurry because I'm speed dating and it's far more important than standing here because I'm still in my twenties and unmarried and I have to—"
Umino: "That's right! We won't be kids for very much longer! How about we—?"
{Naru has left the scene.}
{Usagi has left the scene.}

• CUT TO: The city is in a ferment of activity.
Ami: "Now I understand the Gibson line."
Luna /just running up. "What line?"
Ami: "'It was like a deranged experiment in social Darwinism, designed by a bored researcher who kept one thumb permanently on the fast-forward button.'"
Luna: "I think it all has something to do with these clocks. Check this one out!"
Ami: "How are you carrying that?"
Luna: "It's strapped to my back."
Ami: "But how did you tie the—?"
Luna: "I mean, er… Here, use this compact supercomputer."
Ami: "Er… why, thank you! Now, let's see here—"
The Evil Clock's copy-protection system kicks in, and all the Evil Energy escapes, leaving the clock empty and inert.
Luna: "It <i>was</i> an evil spell! The whole city's been enchanted!"
Ami /looks so sad I just want to hug her.

The gentle peace of the pencil sketch and watercolor backgrounds is ruined by MASSIVE CAR ACCIDENTS!
Jadeite: "This is even easier than I thought! Stupid humans, rushing to your deaths…"
Jadeite: "Ramua! Paging Ramua!"
Redhead proprietress in classy dress reveals her true form: a glam rocker in her late 30s trying desperately to look in her early 20s.
Jadeite: "…"
Jadeite: "Your plan is working perfectly, so it's usually at this point that those 'sailor' persons show up. So watch your back."

• MEANWHILE: On the bus.
Ami: "No one picks up the phone at the school. Luna, I'm nervous about trying to do this alone."
Luna: "I know! Where the hell is Usagi?"
Usagi /steps off the wrecked bus.
Usagi: "The bus driver was crazy doesn't he know we're all LATE!"
Luna: "You've been cursed, dear."
Usagi: "To the clock shoppe!"

Usagi: "Come on! Come on! Get through the refootage! We haven't got <i>time</i> for this!"
Usagi into Sailor Moon: 9
Usagi into Disguise Form: 3
Ami into Sailor Mercury: 2

• ATTACK! attack! attack! with pesticide!
Luna: "Okay, we need to—"
Usagi: "Whichever way we go it's a trap! In through the front!"
Luna: "—come up with—"
Usagi /blasts the front door off with the Moon Tiara.
Luna: "—a plan of—"
Ami /excited! "Nothing ventured, nothing gained! Charge!"
Luna: "—attack."

The breach magically seals itself behind the two Sailors, leaving Luna outside.

Ami: (sotto voce) "…She's not here."
Demon: (off) "Come find me, children."
Usagi: "It is very weird in here."
Ami /puts on Gurren Lagann sunglasses and fires up her tricorder.
Usagi: "What's happening?"
Ami: "Well, in my humble opinion, we've become involved in Einstein's time-space continuum theory."
Usagi: "All right…"
Ami: "Relatively speaking, that is."

EASTER EGG: Read the English text that appears on Sailor Mercury's computer.

• MEANWHILE: On the Material Plane.
Enter Tuxedo Mask… steathily. "Huh. The clock shoppe is empty. Or IS IT?"

Ami: "The Demon's this way!" /runs "like a girl."
Usagi: "FASTER!" /runs like <i>mad.</i>
Demon: "I didn't expect you to show up so early!"
Ami /cold. "Dead or alive, you're coming with me."
Usagi /suddenly collapses. "Time energy… drained… can't… move…"

<< Demon uses Time Stop on Ami! Ami is paralyzed! >>
<< Demon uses Spear Flurry on Usagi! >>

Demon: "SUFFER! SUFFER!" /stabby stabby stab.

Tuxedo Mask, having nothing better to do, breaks the big clock.

Demon: "NO! All <i>my</i> energy!"
All the demon's spells collapse.
Ami: "Should have kept diversified back-up systems!"
Ami: "BUBBLE—wait for it—"
Demon: "Please, no!"
Ami: "—SPRAY!"

<b> < AMI : TECH > BUBBLE1 : DEMON > </b>
<< Demon is stunned! Protect break! >>
<< Demon is slain! >>
<< Usagi has levelled up! >>
<< Ami has levelled up! Peek technique mastered! >>

And the entire shop disappears.

• DENOUEMENT: The city recovering from its magically-induced rush.
Naru: "Usagi! We have to hurry — a cake shop is doing a speed eating contest!"
Usagi: "AWESOME!" /runs.
Usagi /trip CRASH.
Usagi /cries.
Luna: "Same as it ever was."
Ami: "That was fun! When's the next one?"
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David J Prokopetz

Social Justice Henchman
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Fun fact: Ami was originally intended to be a gag character with a completely useless "special attack". You can already see the tone of the series shifting, because it worked. :D
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