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[inexplicable necro] How to make love in LARP?

TrippyHippy

New member
Banned
Re: How to make love in LARP?

Don't Hollywood actors use patches? ;)

Anyway, I think the 'fade to black' or 'find a room' ideas are probably the most logical.
 

hong

Big glowy smiley-thing
Re: How to make love in LARP?

Maybe they trade oranges like Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn in Charade.
No, they scuff each others' boots like Clint Eastwood and Lee van Cleef in _For a Few Dollars More_.
 

Reeta

Retired User
Re: How to make love in LARP?

How did you find out about the game? Was it related to another game you've been playing more comfortably? Was it a random posting you responded to?

What is your background as a larper and as a gamer in general? (You said you are a new larper. Some more detail would be good.)

How was the neck-sex explained? Did it just start happening? Was it part of the rules? Was it implied on your character sheet but not well documented? Was it mentioned as part of the pre-game speech? If it had been better documented, would that have helped you be more comfortable with the experience?

What was it about the experience that made you uncomfortable? Was it because you weren't sure what to do? You didn't know what the boundaries were? You didn't know this group of people well enough to feel comfortable touching them? You didn't know the game would have so much sexual content when you decided to participate? The person who started initiating it with you seemed like he was out to get his jollies? Was the game mechanic for expressing sexuality too intimate for your taste?

How was the sexual content related to the game? Was a major plot developed around alien seduction or mating rituals or reproductive rights or something? Was a subgroup of players expanding on a part of their characters that was intended to be more subtle? Was the game a thinly veiled excuse for forcing chicks to submit to being groped?.
Hi Rob,
To answer your questions here is a more detailed account of my experience. Hope this clears things up for you, and inspires other people to share their perspectives/ stories on this...

I was brought along to the game by a nordic friend who is a regular larper. The world our larp took place in was a medievil trading village on the outskirts of a major port. However crusaders from the city attacked and destroyed everything. Part of the 'sabotage' activities involved the rape of women villagers. Hence the simulation of sex with my neck. BTW - it was not massage it was what I imagine some of your have described in previous posts as 'brutal dryhumping' - actively moving one's neck in a thrusting motion with another. :eek:

Basically what happened was other couples started going off into the bushes to simulate the rape. I was one of the last left standing so followed suit. Nothing had been explained in the pre-game speech so I let my 'rapist' guide me through, he discussed what we were to do and then I just had to follow suit. I imagine if I had of been told beforehand however I probably wouldn't have gone through with the LARP, so in that instance I guess it helped the progression of the storyline - this sex surprise.

Hope this doesn't come off as prudish because I really am not, but maybe I might have been more comfortable with neck-f**king someone else had I had a little more LARP experience, and potentially knew the other character better? Plus I think it is important to point out there were a lot of young people at the event who from their OOC behaviour were pretty intent on getting to know one another...hence my curiosity as to the intention of the sexual content... to fulfill hidden fantasies or as you say submit to being groped?


I am curious though, for people who have IC relationships how does this effect OOC relationships, ie you hook up with someone at LARP but have a girlfriend waiting at home??:confused:
 

Nath

Registered User
Validated User
Re: How to make love in LARP?

thanks for the info Reeta.

It sounds like what the organisers should have done is include an explaination of this 'system' in the pre-game material / briefing, even if they didn't include why it might come up.

Many nordic larps include safe words (brake and hold being common) in case one player is uncomfortable - did the larp include anything like this?

Nath (in Sweden, going to a nordic larp tomorow)
 

RobMcDiarmid

P6: I know what I like
Re: How to make love in LARP?

It sounds like you have a lot of reasons to have felt uncomfortable, Reeta.

1. The mechanics for sex simulation weren't clearly published ahead of time (or if they were, your friend failed to point them out to you.) So even if you had been comfortable with all the other elements involved, you were still left trying to understand an unfamiliar game mechanic on game day, which adds discomfort to a scene.

2. A purposely uncomfortable game mechanic for sex had been chosen with the intent to make the sex simulation uncomfortable and awkward and thereby add to the sense that it was a rape act.

3. Rape, a potentially traumatic topic, was sprung on the players by surprise without providing for an "out" such as safe words or some other acceptable way to opt out of a scene. This isn't real life. It's a game. If someone doesn't want to be traumatized during their fun weekend out with their friends, they should be armed with the ability to avoid that (and I don't mean armed in-game, which can be overcome, I mean armed with immutable OOG methods to get out of an uncomfortable situation.)

4. At least some of the people seemed to be, in your opinion, using the scene to get their jollies. Which is especially scary in a rape scene.

Frankly, after all that, I'm surprised that you're still with us in the hobby and I applaud your forbearance. As I said before, a lot of people would have run screaming by this point.

No, that sort of thing isn't what happens all the time in larp, nor is it considered commonly acceptable internationally. I can't speak for nordic larps myself. Such a thing may be more common in that region. But that doesn't necessarily mean it's a good thing.

Before you complete your article, I would recommend writing a letter to the organizers of the game and explaining, in a helpful way, the many different things that went wrong and suggest reasonable solutions. And give them some reasonable time to respond. If they are reasonable people, I'm sure they would appreciate the chance to hear about the problems and correct them. And if they do take reasonable steps to mitigate the problem, you can mention that in your article, which gives the game organizers an opportunity to redeem themselves in the eyes of your readers.

And should you find yourself in a similarly uncomfortable situation in the future, where you feel like you are being dragged into an uncomfortable scene without the opportunity to opt out, remember that you can always opt out the hard way. Drop character. Walk away. Get yourself out of there. Larp is a game and you're there to have fun. If a scene is threatening to become traumatic and hurtful rather than fun, remove yourself from the scene. That doesn't make you a prude or a problematic player.

As for the question of how game sex relates to real life sex and out of game relationships - pretty much every possibility occurs. Larp tends to draw lots of players in their late teens and early twenties, when people are open to a lot of possibilities. So some people are in polyamorous relationships. Others are in more traditional relationships and sometimes get in trouble for the time they spend with their in-character girlfriend/boyfriend. Some people are dating larpers and others are dating non-larpers, so that can be another factor. Some people use in-game situations as an excuse to experiment with same-sex sexuality. Some people just appreciate the opportunity to interact with members of the opposite sex in a comfortable atmosphere where the game gives them something to talk about because they tend to be too socially awkward to do that otherwise. Others, apparently, play out rape fantasies. Just about everything happens.
 

Old Geezer

Active member
Banned
Re: How to make love in LARP?

Somebody made you feel sexually uncomfortable in a game by raping your character without previously discussing it.

That is totally unacceptable.

Clearly, there is only one thing to do.

(In unison, everybody: )

Kill them and take their stuff.

(Personally, I think a bodkin in his codpiece would have been an entirely appropriate response.)
 

The Wyzard

An overwhelming surplus of diggity
Staff member
Administrator
Moderator
RPGnet Member
Validated User
Re: How to make love in LARP?

Boffers.
 

The Wyzard

An overwhelming surplus of diggity
Staff member
Administrator
Moderator
RPGnet Member
Validated User
Re: How to make love in LARP?

Okay, I'm now picturing one person with a giant padded schlongsword and the other one with what looks like an enormous bagel-on-a-stick...
Is that unusual for you?
 

Ryan Paddy

big picturist
Validated User
Re: How to make love in LARP?

Fully agree with Rob here, although I find his criticism of the larp/larpers overly restrained.

I'm guessing that he, like me, is fuming over what you describe - especially his point 3. The situation you were put in sounds inappropriate in every aspect, and the people involved have a lot to answer for. Get their side of the story, but do not hesitate to publically string them up for this. It's entirely unacceptable, there is no good excuse for not warning of this sort of content in a larp. The organisers and/or the other players are totally at fault here. While you found it disturbing, some players in your position would have found it totally traumatic.

Hang 'em high. :mad:
 
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