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[IWIW] Sailor Moon, Part 2!

HeWhoSpeaksOfDarkness

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As far as I can tell, this has absolutely nothing to do with Sailor Moon, unless Beryl's plan somehow involves braindubbing the Earth.

Well its quite comon in fanfic for this to be Usagi or
Spoiler: Show
You know who
's plan, but I think that this is just sort of reflexive anti Utopian thinking.
 
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Kreuzritter

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on that note, when I looked up the OP's after shadowjack's description, i'm rather surprised at the well, apocalypic feel to them
 

Shadowjack

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on that note, when I looked up the OP's after shadowjack's description, i'm rather surprised at the well, apocalypic feel to them
Post-apoc, I feel, at least the second of the first-season intros. There's a nostalgic "the Classical Past has Fallen" kind of feel—we sweep past ancient pillars, glimpse castle ruins, and for a moment the water starts running again… but the titles end with us overlooking the ruins, and Princess Usagi backed against a cliff.
 

No-Brand Hero

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Post-apoc, I feel, at least the second of the first-season intros. There's a nostalgic "the Classical Past has Fallen" kind of feel—we sweep past ancient pillars, glimpse castle ruins, and for a moment the water starts running again… but the titles end with us overlooking the ruins, and Princess Usagi backed against a cliff.
And the original OP is just surreal :D
 

Shadowjack

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Episode #36: Usagi is Confused! Is Tuxedo Mask Evil?

• RECAP:
Fire!

Wait, there was no "Fire!" before? Holy moly, this isn't a recap, it's a cold open!



• COLD OPEN:
Fire!
Usagi tries to stop Endymion, but with a dashing smile, he disappears into the flames. The sad music rises…

…Usagi doesn't quite wake up.
Usagi: (mumbling in her sleep) "No more about this… I don't want these memories. I don't these responsibilities. I just want to be a normal kid…"
Luna /pats Usagi's head and purrs comfortingly.
Luna: "When she said she would do it, she didn't actually mean it. She was putting aside her own concerns, putting on a brave face for us, to bring us through a crisis moment… damn, she's grown more than I thought."
Usagi /whimpers in her sleep.
Luna /heart is breaking. "Ah, Usagi, I wish I could take some of the weight for you. But we're in Serious Town now, and I don't see many laughs ahead for either–"
Usagi /rolls over on her sleep, right onto Luna.
Luna /ACK!
Luna /squirm squirm.
Luna: "…"
Luna /turns to the camera. "Live from New York, it's SAILOR MOON!"

Da da, da da da, da da…



• ANOTHER DAY AT SCHOOL:
Naru: "ZOMG everyone, you've heard about the world-winning hairstylist Kariko Tokoyama?"
Bitchy Girl: "The one who's opening a new salon right downtown!"
Chubby Girl: "Totally! And get this: in celebration of the grand opening, the first day is free for everyone!"
Whats-Her-Name: "Squee! We should totally all go! Right, Usagi? Usagi?"
Usagi /in a blue funk. "…"
Naru: "You're not your usual chipper, bargain-hunting, glamor-seeking self."
Usagi: "Naru, have I ever mentioned how much I envy you?"
Naru: "What's to envy? I get kidnapped every month."
Usagi: "See? You've got an easy future planned out for you."
Naru: "…Okay, Usagi, is it that t–?"
Usagi: "It's a trap, you know."



• THE SHRINE, AFTER SCHOOL:
Luna: "Usagi's avoiding going to sleep, because when she finally does, she gets bad dreams, every single time. I'm worried she's been pushed past breaking point."
Ami /is sad.
Mako: "Any fresh intel on the Tux?"
Luna: "Nada."
Mako: "Just how bad is it with her?"
Luna: "Ami, remember how often she used to trip over her own feet?"
Artemis: "Did she now?"
Ami: "Yes…"
Luna: "Now she's started tripping while standing still."
Ami: "Jesus."
Rei /sitting apart. "I don't blame her one bit. The man she loves is in danger. I know exactly how she feels."
Mako: "It's rare to hear you show concern for Usagi…"
Rei: "…"
Mako /realizes she touched a raw nerve. "Sorry."
Artemis: "Look, we can agree that this is a bad situation, but we cannot afford to indulge her at this time. We simply have to keep up a stiff upper lip and forge ahead."
Luna: "Yeah, big fight, Sacred Mission… yeah."
Rei /is sad.
V: "Is… is there anyway I can help?"



• TSUKINO RESIDENCE:
Usagi /stares into the mirror, listening to the star locket music box on repeat. Over and over and over and over and…
Usagi /imagines Mamoru scolding her. "Chin up, Twintails!"
Usagi: (mutters) "Jerk picked on me every chance he got. Why do I care? Because I do. Damn it. Why d–"
Usagi /jumps. "WHA-HEY! How'd you get in here?!"
V: "I invited myself in."
Usagi: "…"
V: "…"
Usagi: "…"
V: "I came to cheer you up."
Usagi: "Usually that's my job."
V: "Well, sometimes the plucky comedy relief needs a hand, no? Have you considered changing your hair?"
Usagi: (mutters) "What's wrong my hair?"
V: "Nothing, I think it's beautiful." /picks up hairbrush, moves close, and starts deliberately brushing Usagi's hair down, ignoring Usagi's protests.
Usagi: "…"
V /just keeps working.
Usagi: "Okay, actually that feels nice. You've got good hands…"
V: "I told you. Now, come on, look at this catalogue and pick a style you like."



• EXAMPLES FLASH ON SCREEN:
A) The appealingly mature and stylish bob cut (which is plain, but looks pretty good on her).
B) The slightly bold sauvage style (which makes her look like a spoiled rich doof).
C) The nice and modest look with long, straight hair (which is fine, but makes her look like V's sister).

But no option for the Plucky Girl Reporter or Punk Rockergirl styles? This poll is worthless!



• WELL, USAGI?
Usagi: "I dunno."
V: "Nothing can change a girl's mood like a new hairstyle."
Usagi: "This sudden yawning awareness of my own mortality is not going to go away because I went to a hair salon."
V: "It will if it's a really good hair salon. Trust me, best in the business. My treat."



• LENG: Where Kunzite is watching Mamoru in the Resurrectron 9000.
Queen Beryl /pointedly. "Ahem."
Kunzite: "Yes, milady?"
Queen Beryl: "I believe you have a mission: Find Sailor Moon, steal the MacGuffin. Remember?"
Kunzite: "I'm TRYING."
Queen Beryl /steel eyes flash, hands twitch like claws. "Time is short."
Kunzite: "Don't worry, Your Majesty, we've got her. Observe!" /he holds up a single strand of hair.
Queen Beryl /! "Is that…?"
Kunzite: "It is. A sample of Sailor Moon's hair, obtained during the previous battle."
Queen Beryl: "A good start. But choose your actions with care."
Kunzite: "Yes, milady."



• ACKBAR'S PERFECTLY SAFE HAIR SALON:
Usagi: "I'm leaving now."
V: "Calm down, Artemis and I checked the place out as soon as it went up. They haven't sucked a single soul in the entire time it's been here. And see? There's Tokoyama herself, right there, working calmly, instead of ranting maniacally with bags under her eyes. I honestly think this one is a legitimate free offer!"
Usagi /lets herself be convinced, because, hey, it is Sailor V, and she is trying to be nice. "…All right, all right."

Tokoyama Herself: "Welcome! My, you do have beautiful hair!"
Usagi: "And you're drawn in a slightly more realistic style than we are!"
Tokoyama: "Would you like to try that treatment?"
Usagi: "If it doesn't come with the scary sideburns, sure."
Tokoyama: "That can be arranged. Please, come this way…"
V /waves encouragingly.
Hairdresser #2: "Would you like to–?"
V: "Oh, I'm just here with a friend."
Hairdresser #2: "Well, at least give the new hair steamers a try? They're a new technique, gauranteed to blah blah blah-"
V: "Okay, okay. 'There's nothing freer than free,' as they say."



• BUT! This is no ordinary hair salon! In fact, it is a cleverly-disguised genetics laboratory—every woman here has their hair scanned for DNA to match the sample in Kunzite's possession.
Tokoyama: "What? You were expecting sympathetic magic?"
Usagi /face covered, hair soaking: "What did you say?"
Tokoyama: "Sorry, talking to myself. Bad habit."

Suddenly! The unit scanning V registers a positive!

Tokoyama /grabs V by the neck!
Usagi: "Er, hello? Are we done yet?"
The other hairdressers fill the room with knockout hairspray.
Tokoyama: "Don't you dare go to sleep!"
V: "ADRENALINE WILL DO THAT JUST FINE! What the HELL?!"
Tokoyama: "Your hair is the same as Sailor Moon's!"
V: "No, it's not! Mine is a shade lighter, and our bangs are different!"
Tokoyama: "Silence! DNA matching tells no lies! I'll cut your throat out with these scissors if you don't tell give me the MacGuffin!"
V: "But Sailor Moon has it, not me!"
Tokoyama: "Wrong answer!"



• MONSTER TIME!
Tokoyama summons her hairdressers to her side! They spin and spin and merge into a big red brawler demon…
Tokoyama: "And I'll form the head!"
…with spiky bad hair.
Usagi: "I KNEW IT! Somehow, I don't know how, but somehow, they turned her into a monster. All right, two can play at that game. Let's active!"



• STARKLY CORUSCANT TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE COUNTER:
Usagi into Sailor Moon: 32
Usagi into Princess Moon: 1
Usagi into Disguise Form: 8
Ami into Sailor Mercury: 10
Rei into Sailor Mars: 7
Mamoru into Tuxedo Mask: 1
Makoto into Sailor Jupiter: 3



• TADA!
Usagi: "HALT, SINNERS!"
Bad Hair Day Demon: "You can't be Sailor Moon, because I have Sailor Moon right here in my hot little hands!"
Usagi: "Contrary to what some prosecutors may claim, DNA matching is not 100% reliable! But I'll leave the details to Sailor Mercury. You! You bitch! You ruined my nice calming beauty retreat! SAILOR MOON DOES NOT FORGIVE!"
BHDD: "You were a fool to come here alone!"
Usagi: "Well, it wasn't the plan."
BHDD: "Yer gonna be like a slug in a heap of salt!"
Usagi: "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!"
V /passes out.
BHDD: "I has a hair-dryer gun!"
Usagi: "The fuck?"
BHDD: "Hair-dryer gun! Ha-ha!"
Usagi: "How many of you are in there? Is there someone else in there I could talk to?"
<< BHDD uses Hair-Dryer Gun! >>
<< Usagi dodges! >>



• SEVERAL MINUTES OF CARNAGE ENSUE. Usagi discovers that practically everything in here has been or can be weaponized. The demon burns stuff with the hair-dryer, Usagi throws exploding face powder, the demon cuts up the room with the scissor cannon, Usagi counters with nerve gas shampoo…

It's a good thing everyone else is slumped unconscious on the floor, safely out of the way.



• EVENTUALLY…
Usagi: "Gasp, pant, finally whittled her down. I forgot how hard it is to solo. Okay, then—"
< USAGI : TECH > REFRESH : B–
Suddenly! Enter Tuxedo Mask, dramatically, armed with +3 unholy throwing roses.
Usagi /!
Usagi: "You're alive! You're alive! You're alive! Thank God, you're alive!"
Usagi: "And you hit the wrong frelling target! HA! I oughtta throw a shoe at you."
Usagi: "Wait, the rose just turned black. Oh, no, you're undead now, aren't you?! You're now Lich-King of the Undead Tuxedo Mask, and you were aiming at me on purpose, to turn me into one of your thralls!"
Mamoru: "…I'm not what you think. I am Comman–"
Usagi: "If you go goth-y like a vampire, does that mean you'll stop wearing a tux? I don't think I could take you in fishnet. Well, maybe? Mmmm… no. No. Stick with the tux, it's goth enough."
Mamoru: "…I am Commander Endymion of the Dark Kingdom."
Usagi: "So that's a 'no, Sailor Moon, from now on I'll be wearing that awful grey uniform and jackboots soaked in the blood of the innocent.'"
Mamoru: "…Yes."
Usagi: "No! That's not true! That's impossible!"
Mamoru: "Search your feelings! You know it to be true!"
Usagi: "Ha! My feelings say you're wrong!"
Mamoru: "Gimme the MacGuffin!"
Usagi: "No!"
Mamoru: "Okay, then get her!"
BHDD: "I has CHAINSAW!"
Usagi: "Oh, cripes!" /flees.

V: (struggling for consciousness) "Must… signal… others…"



• STARKLY CORUSCANT TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE COUNTER:
Usagi into Sailor Moon: 32
Usagi into Princess Moon: 1
Usagi into Disguise Form: 8
Ami into Sailor Mercury: 10
Rei into Sailor Mars: 7
Mamoru into Tuxedo Mask: 1
Makoto into Sailor Jupiter: 3
Minako into Sailor Venus: 1



• LONG SHOT OF THE CITY AT NIGHT:
Progressing across the city in a meandering line: Explosions, secondary explosions, screams, power poles knocked over, car alarms…
Usagi /running. "I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!"
Mamoru /chasing. "I thought trying a dozen demons at once would hurry things, but I guess not."
BHDD /chasing. "Chainsaw!"
Usagi /looks back, trips on one of her heels.
Usagi: "Stupid genre tropes."
BHDD: "BWAHAHAHA!"
Ami: "FREEZE!"



• SUDDENLY! A spotlight!
Ami: "Ladies and gentlemen, behold the Mistress of C^3! Right where I said they'd be! Eh? Eh?"
< REI : DUAL-TECH > MAKOTO > PLASMACUT : BHDD >
BHDD is disarmed!
< AMI : TECH > BUBBLE1 : ALL ENEMIES >
BHDD is stunned! Tuxedo Mask is stunned!
V: "Okay, Sailor M–"
Usagi: "Already on it!"
< USAGI : TECH > REFRESH : BHDD >
<< BHDD reverts to A Pile of Confused Women! >>
Tokoyama and Hairdressers: "Wha' happen–?" /K.O.
<< Rei has levelled up! New technique mastered! >>
<< Makoto has levelled up! New technique mastered! >>
Mako: "Is it just me, or did that thing's song change?"
Usagi: "It's just you."



• AND NOW, A PAINFUL REUNION:
Rei: "Mamoru! You're alive! You're safe!"
V /J'ACCUSE! "No, he's not! He's a vampire from hell!"
Mamoru: "What?"
Rei: "No! That's not true! That's impossible!"
Usagi: "…"
Luna: "You owed me a question from way back, so here it is now: Why?"
Mamoru: "Roses have thorns; even a rose turns black when exposed to a wintery blast."
Ami: "You know, I like poetry, but I think this situation calls for straight answers: You gonna fight us?"
Mamoru: "I don't enjoy fighting women, but I will show no mercy."
Everyone else /!
Mamoru: "Hand over the MacGuffin."
Ami: "Come get some."

Queen Beryl: (via telepathy) "Endymion! Withdraw! Priority One!"

Mamoru: "…"
Mamoru: "It seems your time of death has been postponed."
Ami: "Don't you dare run out on–"
Mamoru: "Women's friendships are fleeting, like a fragile flower; they fall apart at the slightest breeze."
Rei and Usagi share a significant glance.
Exit Tuxedo Mask, through a black hole!
Mako: "Was that a threat, or a warning, or just a red herring?"



• THE CTHULHU CHAMBERS:
Mamoru: "Why did you order me to retreat?"
Cthulhu: "We cannot have you die."
Mamoru /?
Kunzite: "I'm glad to see my brainwashing was effective!"
Queen Beryl: "Yes, we're in desperate need of new talent."



• DENOUEMENT: The girls watch the hairdressers sweeping up and getting things back in order.
Usagi: "…I really don't want to see any more innocent people caught up in this. We have to end this as soon as possible."
Artemis: "That's the way! Good show! I'm glad to see you thinking more professiona–"
Usagi: "AND TUXEDO MASK IS STILL ALIVE! WOO-HOO! YES!" /end-zone dance.
Artemis: "GAH! I say! A little decorum, please!"
Luna: "Heh."
Mako: "You know, Rei, she's right. You can't keep moping forever. You need to move on." /puts hand on Rei's shoulder.
Ami /!
Rei: "Yes, I guess you're right."
Luna: "Glad to see you're feeling a little better, Usagi."
Usagi: "Of course I'm feeling better! Tuxedo Mask is obviously brainwashed. That's the way it always goes in superhero stories, right? Brainwashed, or an android double, or something. We'll just restore him with true love's kiss, and he'll be right as rain."
Luna: "True love's kiss from a princess?"
Usagi: "Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh crap. I'm not getting out of that princess thing, am I?"
Luna: "'Fraid not, milady."
Usagi: "Crud."
 

Peter Svensson

Reads Too Many Comics
Validated User
The Minako/Usagi hair plot is a loose adaptation of a bit from the manga where now that she's awakened as the Princess, her hair has grown to the ludicrous length that Princess Serenity kept hers.

And man, evil Endymion is cool. Likewise, Usagi's realization that hey, curing him is going to be easy peasy is just perfect for the series. I mean, it's not like she's got a magic gem powering up her magic wand that exorcises people or anything, right?
 

Shadowjack

Cartoon Poet
RPGnet Member
Validated User
The Minako/Usagi hair plot is a loose adaptation of a bit from the manga where now that she's awakened as the Princess, her hair has grown to the ludicrous length that Princess Serenity kept hers.
Heh. Bet that gives Mom a turn.

Speaking of which, we haven't seen the 'rents in a while. I hope they aren't tied up in the basement of the Jewelry Shopppe.

Likewise, Usagi's realization that hey, curing him is going to be easy peasy is just perfect for the series. I mean, it's not like she's got a magic gem powering up her magic wand that exorcises people or anything, right?
Gosh, no! Guess they'll just have to drive the demons out the old fashioned way…

Yeah. I liked that. Someone's been paying attention to the powers they have.
 

No-Brand Hero

Heroicus Genericus
Validated User
Re: Episode #36: Usagi is Confused! Is Tuxedo Mask Evil?

BHDD: "I has a hair-dryer gun!"
Usagi: "The fuck?"
BHDD: "Hair-dryer gun! Ha-ha!"
Usagi: "How many of you are in there? Is there someone else in there I could talk to?"
Much. Laughing. Sides. Hurt.
 

No-Brand Hero

Heroicus Genericus
Validated User
Re: Episode #36: Usagi is Confused! Is Tuxedo Mask Evil?

Oh, and since it's not really a spoiler anymore now that we know the whole Endymion thing and they don't actually bring it up at all in the anime:

This is the point where we understand that Beryl has basically just completed her "Earth's Greatest Heroes" collection by nabbing Mamoru. You see, the Shitennou used to be his bodyguards before she captured and brandwashed them...
 
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