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[IWIW] Sailor Moon, Part 2!

Shadowjack

Cartoon Poet
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Validated User
Hey, I liked this episode! Mainly for the ludicrous "Sailormoon throws a tiara around with expert precision, like it's a frisbee, how can I get young girls to try out for a frisbee competition, I know! I'll brainwash a foreign lady into holding a seminar for young ladies that happens to include Frisbee!"

Logic? Who needs logic? It WORKED. (Well, as well as a Dark Kingdom plan ever does.)
I half-suspect Kunzite's evident boredom/stonedness as being due to his realizing that any plan set near Tokyo would work to get Sailor Moon involved.

Kunzite: "I'll just stand out here in a field and wait."
Suddenly, Usagi trips over Kunzite!
Kunzite: "See?"

I am also greatly amused by Usagi's champion-quality Ultimate skills. Here I thought the Tiara was a homing weapon. I didn't give her enough credit.
 

JohnBiles

Registered User
Validated User
Three, count'em, three!




I should issue score-cards to count my references, but I confess I lose track myself. I create in an intertextual haze of multimedia bricolage.
I cannot help but imagine Ami upgrading her Bubble Blast by turning it into the "INTERTEXTUAL HAZE OF MULTIMEDIA BRICOLAGE BLAST!", a huge cloud of memes, video clips. sound clips, quotes, etc, which leave her foes stumbling in a confused haze of trying to remember sources and interrelations of text.
 

HeWhoSpeaksOfDarkness

New member
Banned
I cannot help but imagine Ami upgrading her Bubble Blast by turning it into the "INTERTEXTUAL HAZE OF MULTIMEDIA BRICOLAGE BLAST!", a huge cloud of memes, video clips. sound clips, quotes, etc, which leave her foes stumbling in a confused haze of trying to remember sources and interrelations of text.
Damn that is cool.
 

Shadowjack

Cartoon Poet
RPGnet Member
Validated User
I cannot help but imagine Ami upgrading her Bubble Blast by turning it into the "INTERTEXTUAL HAZE OF MULTIMEDIA BRICOLAGE BLAST!", a huge cloud of memes, video clips. sound clips, quotes, etc, which leave her foes stumbling in a confused haze of trying to remember sources and interrelations of text.
Damn that is cool.
Yes, yes it is. :D And it's right up her alley, too.

The problem is that Usagi (and possibly some of the others) might get distracted by all the pretty colors.
 

Shadowjack

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Validated User
Episode #38: The Snow! The Mountains! Our Friendship! And Of Course, A Monster, Too.

• INTRO:
Usagi: "A girl's not supposed to let her hips get cold, you know!"
Shadowjack /spit-take.



• DAILY BRIEFING AT THE SHRINE:
Usagi: "Observe this flyer! The Moon Princess Ski Bunny Contest! Aptly named, no?"
Minako: "It's a trap!"
Usagi: "The Fourth Annual Moon Princess Ski Bunny Contest! No way this is an Ackbar routine!"
Rei: "¡Gimme that flyer!" /reads. "'…most beautiful and graceful lady skiers…' '…moonlight award ceremony…' '…scenic mountains…' It sounds sooooooo romantic."
Usagi: "ISN'T IT JUST! We should go. Say we can go. Come on, say, yes." /bats eyelashes.
Rei: "Uhhh…"
Makoto /looks at the others, nods. "We don't mind going, but won't Luna make a fuss?"
Ami: "Heh, she was the one who suggested our 'Teamwork Workshop' during the summer break."
Makoto: "Artemis, then."
Minako: "Eh, we'll just call it Alpine Warfare Training. No problem."
Usagi: "I'm shocked to hear you help us scheme!"
Minako: "Well… er… uh… thanks!"
Usagi: "Welcome to the team!" :D
Minako: :)
Ami: "If the two of us sell it, they're sure to buy it."
Rei: "Wait, it's short notice. ¿Do we have time to make hotel arrangements?"
Usagi: "All in favor of not letting Rei make the hotel arrangements?"
Ami: "But I liked the cosplayers!"
Yuichiro: "I could put you up with my folks… uh, that is, if I'm invited, too…"
Rei: "…"
Makoto: "Oh, just say yes, hon. It doesn't have to mean anything, wink wink, nudge nudge."
Rei: "Allllllll right."
Yuichiro: "YES!"
Ami and Minako get into a fight over some point of obscura. No one cares.



• MEANWHILE, AT CASTLEVANIA:
Kunzite: "They are a girly bunch. They are certain to come to this event. And then—WHAM!"
Mamoru: "That's your plan? 'They are girly—WHAM!' That's your plan?"
Kunzite /dramatic cloak maneuver. "What?"
Mamoru: "Look, the Dark Kingdom's plans have consistently failed so far because for the most part you lot consistently underestimate the Sailor Senshi, and overestimate your own abilities. Know your enemy, know thyself, and in this way shall you achieve victory."
Kunzite: "…And I thought it was charming when Zoisite did this to Nephrite."
Kunzite: "…"
Kunzite /dramatic cloak. "Begone! I alone shall handle Sailor Moon!"
Kunzite /looks sadly at the photo of him and Zoisite, posted over the grave.
Exit Mamoru, discreetly.



• VERMONT!
Usagi /sings. "Snow…"
Rei /sings. "Snow…"
Makoto /sings. "Snow…"
Minako /sings. "Snow…"
All /sing. "Snow!"
Usagi /sings. "It won't be long before we'll all be there with…"
Ami: "I almost feel guilty for ditching the cats."
Minako: "Don't worry, I left the heated table on."



• CUT TO: AINO RESIDENCE
Luna and Artemis are curled up on the heated table, as cats are wont to do.
Luna: "I almost feel guilty for letting them go off alone."
Luna and Artemis /ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ



• BACK TO: A HUGE MANSION.
All /!
Yuichiro: "Hmm. Looks like my folks aren't home. Must be at their vacation home in Switzerland. Welp, guess it's just us!"
Usagi: "Riiiiiiiiiight. Just forgot to mention it…"
Rei: "This is your family's house?"
Yuichiro: "One of them."
Rei: "When you turned up at the Shrine, I thought you were a drunken hobo!"
Yuichiro: "Yeah, there's a funny story about that– well, maybe not that funny. Anyway, I was–"
Makoto: "Save it for the après-ski! Let's hit the slopes!"



• AMI CAN SKI WHILE READING.
Usagi: "How…?"
Ami: "Mistress of Waters, remember, and what is snow but powdered water? Besides, I've read this book before."
Makoto: "Where's Rei?"
Rei and Yuichiro whooooooooosh in like pros. Rei looks particularly svelte and stylish.
Yuichiro: "Hey, why are you guys sticking to the bunny slopes? Rei and I are gonna try Mount Agony up there."
Usagi: "'Mount Agony'? :eek:"
Ami: "I'm good."
Makoto: "You two have fun." ;)
Minako: "Maybe later."
Usagi: "Likewise."
Yuichiro: "But I thought you wanted to get in on the contest, Usagi?"
Usagi /looks up at the mountain. "…I ain't that crazy."
Rei /preens. "Then I suppose I'll win the Moon Princess title by default."
Usagi: "ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT I'M IN! Uneasy lies the crown."



• BUT HIGH ATOP MOUNT AGONY:
Kunzite: "Endymion said not to underestimate her, so that's what we won't do. The best skier must be Sailor Moon. Let her get ahead of the pack, then nail her to the ice. Get it?"
Evil Ski Bunny: "Got it."
Kunzite: "Good."



• LADIES AND GENTLEMAN THANK YOU FOR COMING to the 4th Annual Moon Princess Ski Bunny Contest!
Usagi: "Oh. My. God. Emi Kawabata is here. Diann Roffe. Petra Kronberger! I am so fucking out of my depth. Why am I here?"
Rei /stretching exercises in tight ski pants.
Usagi: "…It's not a good reason, but it's a reason."
M.C.: "And now, our first champion, our chief instructor, Saeko Yamamoto!"
Evil Ski Bunny: "Whoever is the fastest and most graceful wins. Hit the lights!"

BLAM! The alpine course is illuminated for the night.

Usagi /gulp.

Evil Ski Bunny: "Ladies! Assume starting positions! …Ready! Set!"
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ and they're off!



• THE RACE!
Rei moves forward in the pack surprisingly quickly, smiling enthusiastically.
Usagi is last to start.

Usagi: "I forfeit! That mountain's too steep!"
Yuichiro: "It's not too steep."
Usagi: "It IS too steep."
Yuichiro: "If I truly thought it was too steep, I wouldn't do this."
Yuichiro /PUSH
Usagi: "Damn you to helllllllllllllllllllllll…"
Evil Ski Bunny /takes off after the pack. "That's where this course leads! Muahahahaha!"
Yuichiro /?

<< Evil Ski Bunny casts Moguls! >>
Rei: "I SENSE EVIL!"
Rei /with quick reflexes and supernatural senses, threads through the obstacle safely.
Usagi /with thick skin and blind luck, tumbles through the obstacle safely.
All the other women skiers go down.
Rei: "No way. No way is there a demon here, now."
Usagi /passes Rei at speed. "…llllllllllllllllllllllllllllp meeeeeeeeeeeeee…"
Rei: "Hey! Usagi isn't half bad! Good show, girl! But I won't be outdone!" :D
Rei /starts to catch up.
Evil Ski Bunny: "Got it narrowed down to two. Now we'll see how they handle this next trick!"
Muttley: "Heh heh heh."

Rei: "Usagi, slow down! It's dangerous!"
Usagi: "I'M TRYING TO! HELP ME, SOMEBODY!"
<< Evil Ski Bunny casts Avalanche! >>
Suddenly, a giant snowball is storming after the two skiers!
Rei /glances over her shoulder.
Rei /!
Rei: "Usagi, speed up! It's dangerous!"
Usagi: "MAKE UP YOUR MIND, REI!"

Yuichiro: "I heard an avalanche! MUST PROTECT TAIL!"



• TIME FOR EVIL SKI BUNNY TO TRANSFORM!
…You know what? I'll let Usagi describe her getup.
<< Evil Snow Bitch casts Glacial Movement! >>
Suddenly, the entire mountainside starts to move and fragment. Massive ice shelves shoot up from the ice and slip about.

Usagi /?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!???!!?!
Rei: "OH SNAP."
Yuichiro /dashing, heroic. "TO THE RESCUE!" /dives into the canyon. "Don't fear, Rei! I shall stop the avalanche with my supple body!"
WHAM!
Rei: "Did you hear something? …? Guess not." /shrugs.

Now the cliffs are smashing together!
Usagi: "I AM GOING TO DIE—"
Rei /dramatic last-minute SAVE!



• WHEN THE POWDER CLEARS…
Usagi is face-down in a drift, with Rei sprawled atop her protectively.
Usagi: "…yum."
Rei /slaps Usagi lightly. "Oh, stop it." /stands up, looks around.
Usagi /sits up, looks also. "Rei, we seem to be trapped in a hundred foot deep ice canyon."
Rei: "That's what I like about you, Usagi, always so aware of the world around you." /tries to climb out, yelps and falls.
Usagi: "Did you hurt your back when you tackled me?"
Rei: "rrrrRRRRRRrrrrrrr… no. Maybe. Doesn't matter." /tries to climb again, yelps and falls.
Usagi: "Look, let's think of another way out. Maybe if you transf–"
Rei: "¡Usagi, you become less of a woman if you give up so easily! ¡You must have willpower!" /tries to climb again, yelps and falls.
Usagi /catches Rei. "Sit down! Save your energy!"
Rei: "rrrrRRRRRrrrrrrrrrr… damn it all."

Hiatus.

Usagi: "I guess we've lost the contest, huh?"
Rei: "No shit."
Usagi: "Sorry."
Rei: "…"
Usagi: "…"
Rei: "…Sorry."
Usagi: "'s'okay."
Rei: "That musical locket you keep listening to—that was his, wasn't it?"
Usagi: "Yeah. It always make me feel better when I'm sad."
Rei /sits, sighs.
Usagi: "Sorry! I wasn't trying to show it off or anything. I didn't—"
Rei: "No, no, it's okay. I'm over him, mostly. I mean—he gave himself to save your life. ¿How can I compete with that?"
Usagi /tears up. "Rei…"
Rei /grabs Usagi. "¡SO IF YOU FUCK THINGS UP WITH HIM I'LL KNOCK YOUR BLOCK OFF!"
Usagi: "Aw, you do care." :)
Rei: "Sí, hermana. :) So don't you fuck it up. After we save him and you unbrainwash him, of course."
Usagi: "Then we all go beat the bad guys and live happily ever after."
Rei: "¿What could be simpler?"
Usagi: "Rei…"
Rei: "Yeah, yeah, I love you, too."
Usagi: "No, listen."
Rei: "¿What?"
Usagi: "Why didn't you just use Fire Soul to melt us out of here?"
Rei: "…"
Rei: "¡¿YOU COULDN'T HAVE MENTIONED THAT EARLIER?!"
Usagi: "I tried…"
Rei: "…Oh, yeah, so you did. Okay, MARS POW–"
Yuichiro /pops up from under the snow. "HUZZAH!"
Rei /!
Usagi /!
Yuichiro: "I'm here to rescue you!"
Rei: "I don't really need rescuing right–"
Yuichiro: "Quick! The tunnel won't last long! This way!"
Evil Snow Bitch: "NOT SO FAST!"

Usagi /man what
Rei /what is this I don't even
Yuichiro /wtf
Usagi: "I'm sorry, but is she— is she really—?"
Yuichiro: "She's wearing snowballs on her tits!"
Usagi: "Yes, thank you. I was trying to put words to it."
Rei: "With little carrots where her—"
Yuichiro: "And she's also wearing a snowball around her—"
Rei: "¡That's gotta be cold!"
Usagi: "And it's got a face drawn on it!"
Rei: "It's moving. She has an animated snowman face on her— her—"
Yuichiro: "Twat?"
Rei: "…Yes."
Usagi: "The goggles! They do nothing!"
Evil Snow Bitch: "ENOUGH OF THIS PRATTLE! Prepare to die, Sailor Moon!" /points at Rei.
Rei: "¿Me?"
Evil Snow Bitch: "You have displayed good looks, athletic ability, and grace. Who else could be the Princess?"
Rei /strikes pose. "Oh, you think so, too?" /preen preen.
Evil Snow Bitch: "My judgement is never wrong."
Yuichiro: "WHOA! You're Sailor Moon? Are you gonna transform now?"
Usagi: "Rei."
Rei: "Oh, yeah."
Usagi and Rei /karate chop Yuichiro in unison.
Yuichiro: "OW! My head!"
Usagi /?
Rei: "He's been training with Papi, remember."
<< Evil Snow Bitch casts Blizzar! >>
Yuichiro /jumps forward. "I SHALL PROTECT Y—"
Yuichiro is frozen solid! Yuichiro is down!
Rei: "Convenient!"
Usagi: "…At least pretend to be concerned for him."



• STARKLY CORUSCANT TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE COUNTER:
Usagi into Sailor Moon: 34
Usagi into Princess Moon: 1
Usagi into Disguise Form: 8
Ami into Sailor Mercury: 10
Rei into Sailor Mars: 9
Mamoru into Tuxedo Mask: 2
Makoto into Sailor Jupiter: 3
Minako into Sailor Venus: 2



• BATTLE IS JOINED!
Rei: "¡Oh, noes! ¡My darling Yuichiro has been frozen! ¡My hot Latin blood demands revenge!"
Usagi: "Better."
Evil Snow Bitch: "Two of you?! That wasn't in the briefing!"
Usagi: "Mars? Do me a favor. Melt that abominable outfit out of my sight."
Rei: "Righto, Moon. I'll make it quick, these skirts weren't meant for this weather."
Usagi: "Hey, you can make enough fire for us both!"
Rei: "Cute. Cute line."
<< Evil Snow Bitch casts Ice Spear! >>
Usagi dodges!
< REI : TECH > FIRE2 : EVILSNOW >
Evil Snow Bitch dodges!
Rei: "¡Frell!"

Tuxedo Mask grabs the Ice Spear out of the Evil Snow Bitch's hand.
Evil Snow Bitch: "Hey!"
Rei and Usagi: "Yay, Tuxedo Mask!"
Tuxedo Mask /tosses it aside. "I'll handle this."
Evil Snow Bitch /bows and steps aside.
Tuxedo Mask: "En garde!"
<< Tuxedo Mask casts Death Rose! >>
Usagi dodges!
Rei dodges!
Usagi: "HEY!"
Rei: "MAMORU! TUXEDO MASK! Whatever. ¿Have you forgotten yourself so much?"
Tuxedo Mask /?
Rei: "(¡Quick, make puppy-dog eyes!)"
Usagi: "(What?)"
Rei: "(¡Puppy-dog eyes! He was always a sucker for that.)"
Rei /puppy-dog eyes. "¡Pleeeeeeease, Mamoru, remember! ¡Remember what you used to think of this girl! ¿Do it for me?"
Usagi /puppy-dog eyes. "¡Pleeeeeease don't hurt me! I only threw a shoe at you twice!"
Tuxedo Mask /staggers under the force of double puppy-dog eyes.

Suddenly! Evil Snow Bitch reappears!
<< Evil Snow Bitch uses Death From Above! >>
Tuxedo Mask /takes her out with a single shot.
Rei: "¡YES! ¡Go Mamoru!"
Evil Snow Bitch: "Dammit, Endymion!"
< USAGI : TECH > REFRESH : EVILSNOW >
Moon Healing Escalation!
<< Evil Snow Bitch reverts to Not-Evil Ski Bunny! >>
Usagi: "Now to get—"
Tuxedo Mask /is already out of range.
Usagi: "Frell."
Tuxedo Mask: "Uh… killing you now would be too easy! We will meet again."
{Tuxedo Mask has left the scene.}
Usagi: "Oh, Tux. Hold still just once, for me?"



• AFTERMATH:
Rei: "Yuichiro is such a hopeless idiot." /kisses him affectionately on the cheek.
Usagi: :)
Rei: "You didn't see me do that."
Usagi: "Since when were you attracted to hopeless idiots?"
Rei: "Sigh. Since always."
Usagi: "Hey, really?"
Rei: "¿Really what?"
Not-Evil Ski Bunny /wakes up. "Wha' happen–?"
Usagi: "Oh, go back to sleep."



• DENOUEMENT: Around a campfire, back near the Ski Lodge.
Yuichiro: "What did I miss when I was out?"
Rei: "Oh, just the Sailor Senshi showing up to save us."
Yuichiro: "I'm sorry I'm such a failure."
Usagi: "Yes, but you were an awe-inspiring failure! Right, Rei?"
Rei: "Well… kinda."
Yuichiro /blush.
Makoto: "DUDE! Where were you guys?! We were getting worried!"
Minako: "And does it have anything to do with all those screams and explosions and medevac helicopters earlier?"
Ami: "And does anyone care about the argument I was having with Minako?"
Rei: "Oh, you know, the usual happened. Usagi messed up stuff, I got us out of it."
Usagi: "No, no, no! There was frank talk, and heartwarming moments, and we reaffirmed our friendship with each other, remember?"
Rei: "…"
Usagi: "…"
Rei: "¡I scrunch you up and toss you away! ¡Like tissue!"
Usagi /cries.
Rei: "You hopeless idiot."
 

Peter Svensson

Reads Too Many Comics
Validated User
Mood Roses. Quite convenient. Usagi now just needs to look at his arsenal to tell his current alignment.
 

Unka Josh

Social Justice Chimera
RPGnet Member
Validated User
Re: Episode #38: The Snow! The Mountains! Our Friendship! And Of Course, A Monster, T

• BUT HIGH ATOP MOUNT AGONY:
Kunzite: "Endymion said not to underestimate her, so that's what we won't do. The best skier must be Sailor Moon. Let her get ahead of the pack, then nail her to the ice. Get it?"
Evil Ski Bunny: "Got it."
Kunzite: "Good."
Life could not better be.
 
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