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[IWIW] Sailor Moon, Part 2!

Shadowjack

Cartoon Poet
RPGnet Member
Validated User
Episode #39: Paired With A Monster?! Ice Queen Mako.

• COLD OPEN: Tsukino Residence.
Usagi, Minako, and the cats are watching figure skating on TV. Minako and Usagi are gushing about "Janelyn" and "Misha", who are both Olympic gold medalists and an item, and the cats keep eyeing Usagi and flinching, due to her unnerving habit of jumping up and down in enthusiastic glee.

Since the only Olympic gold medalist pairs skaters active in 1991 were Gordeeva and Grinkov (who had married earlier in the year), I surmise that the names have been changed to protect the innocent, and that this is footage from either the Soviet Nationals, or the beginning of G&G's first Stars on Ice tour.

Because, gosh, they wouldn't just make up some skaters, would they?

Usagi /stops bouncing for a moment. "Oops, sorry guys."
Luna /squashed. "…don' mention it…"
Artemis /squished. "This is sort of princess-y, right?"
Luna: "Yes, as a matter of fact. Figure skating was the most popular sport on the Moon."
Minako: "Was it really?"
Luna: "Sure."



• CUE: Daft Punk, "One More Time."
Flashback to our very first view of Lunarian civilization outside of the Royal Palace. From this brief shot of a crater ice-rink in action, we can see that:
1) They're all human, or close enough.
2) They're all women, which suggests either that ice rinks were gender-segregated, or that men did not skate.
3) A variety of hair styles, colors, and clothing are in evidence, mixing freely, suggesting a range of ethnicities and social groups, and relative freedom of social movement, at least on the rink.
4) You know we're gonna do it tonight. Hey! Just feelin'. Music's got me feeling the need. Come on, all right. We're gonna celebrate.



• BACK TO THE PRESENT-DAY:
Artemis /humming along.
Luna: "…and the most graceful skater of all was the Princess herself."
Usagi: "REALLY? WOW! I was awesome!"
Minako: "Emphasis on 'was.'" ;)
Usagi: "Oh, hush. Now you sound like Rei."



• LENG:
Kunzite is showing the court the figure skating, too.
Queen Beryl: "And you figure that this will lure out Sailor Moon."
Kunzite: "On my honor."
Mamoru: "Seriously, why don't you just, I don't know, attack her! I mean, I know where she—"
Kunzite: "Dude, just, just shut up! This would be going fine if it weren't for your butting in!"
Mamoru /GRRRR
Kunzite /GRRRR
Queen Beryl: "Let's try it Kunzite's way."



• AT AN ICE RINK: Practice is not going well.
Sergei and Katia have a nasty spat and say things that a married couple shouldn't say to each other.
Kunzite /appears. "Well, we can't have that! Let's give you happy people a new mission to worry about!"



• YUI IKARI MEMORIAL SKATING RINK:
Luna: "When did this get built?!"
Usagi: "Just recently! Gordeeva and Grinkov are gonna be coaching people here, to drum up interest in Stars on Ice."
Minako: "As if they need the help!"
Rei: "¿So why are we here, again?"
Ami: "Yeah, I've got a major exam tomorrow…"
Usagi: "Tell 'em, V!"
Minako: "We're all here because only groups of five girls or more get in free!"
Rei: "…¿Why?"
Usagi: "See! Isn't that suspicious?"
Minako: "Doesn't it just make you want to check it out and find out the truth?"
Makoto: "…Do you two have an opinion about this?"
Luna: "Girl, I'm not even trying at this point."
Artemis: "Minako and Usagi seem to amplify each other's energies somehow. I'm done in."
Ami: "I could distract Minako with another wordplay argument, if you like."
Usagi: "Enough! Command decision here! We're gonna go ice skating, right now!" /pushes everyone along.



• INSIDE: Millions of girls in figure skating outfits!
Luna: "Wow, this takes me back."
Ami: "We could transform in here right now, and no one would notice."
Artemis: "Where's Usagi?"
TRIP-CRASH!
Luna: "Over there."
Enter Gordeeva and Grinkov, elegantly.
All the girls: "ZOMG! It's G&G! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!1!!!!"
Makoto /!
Makoto: "He… he looks just like the boy who broke—"
Ami: "No, he can't. You said he looked just like Crane Game Joe, and Sergei Grinkov looks nothing like Crane Game Joe."
Makoto: "But the way he wears his hair! It's just the same!"
Ami /takes notes. "Okay, looks like Crane Game Joe, sounds like Motoki the Video Arcade Operator, hair like Sergei Grinkov…"



• FIRST LESSONS:
Completely at random, we swear, Katia picks Our Heroes to be the first group on the ice. Rei, Ami, and Minako dutifully stagger onto the ice.
Makoto: "Aren't you coming?"
Usagi /can barely stand up. "Don't worry, I was an expert in a past life."
Makoto: "Okay, see you on the ice."
Makoto /effortlessly glides around the rink.
Usagi /!
Usagi: "Jealousy powers activate! Let's go!"
Usagi /steps out onto the ice…
Usagi /triple Sasha!
Usagi /cries.
Rei: "I knew it."
Artemis: "Past life?"
Luna: "I think we've clearly established that not all skills and memories survived the transfer."
Artemis: "In the young lady's defense, I don't recall Princess Serenity ever playing Frisbee half so well."



• LET'S ALL WATCH MAKOTO:
Makoto /is getting into it.
Makoto /footwork segment.
Makoto /double flip.
Makoto /triple salchow.
Makoto /unsupported spiral.
Makoto /Biellman spin.

General applause.
Makoto /surprised herself!
Dick Button for ABC Sports: "A very impressive performance from this young amateur."
Peggy Fleming for ABC Sports: "I think we can expect great things from her in future competition."
Dick Button: "Did you see how straight she kept her back? Very nice."
Makoto /blushes.
Sergei and Katia /exchange significant evil glances.
Sergei /looks approvingly at Makoto.
Makoto /blushes even more.
Katia /glares at Sergei jealously.
Sergei /glances back questioningly.
Katia /turns away angrily.

Meanwhile, the other girls are trying to help Usagi stand. This project ends with all four lying flat on the ice.



• SHORTLY THEREAFTER, IN THE MASTER CONTROL CENTER: This is a well-equipped skating rink, with all the amenities. Katia is running a biometric scanning program, comparing skaters' forms and figures with known data about the Sailors. No matches so far.
Kunzite: (via visiscreen) "Come in, Katia!"
Katia: "Master Kunzite! All is proceeding as planned!"
Kunzite: (via visicreen) "Right, so, uh, watch your back, because that's usually when the Sailor Senshi show up. Kunzite out."
Katia: "Whatever."

The scan flags Usagi as a potential.
Katia /watches her for a bit, then makes a decision. "Sailor Moon is supposed to be clumsy, but this is ridiculous." /removes Usagi from the list.



• MEANWHILE: Rei is trying to hit on Sergei, but he has eyes only for Makoto. They glide across the ice, and I would totally make a Beauty and the Beast ballroom dancing riff here, but the film wouldn't be released until later in the month, and I take fidelity to the period seriously!

Makoto /blush blush blush.
Sergei: "Something isn't right, here; could this be Sailor Moon?"
Sergei /tries to do a lift…
Makoto /!
Sergei /and fumbles it.
Makoto: "Sorry! I know I'm heavy. Let's try it this way."
Makoto /tries to do a lift…
Sergei /!
Makoto /and succeeds!
Everyone else: "WHOA!"
Ami: "A reverse-gender pairs lift! No one does that!* Wow!"
*True, at the time! These days, however, there's a couple of pairs who make it part of their act.
Makoto and Sergei own the ice.

Suddenly!
Katia: (via P.A. system, so jealous the ice starts to melt) "Attention! Attention! Today's free lesson is over! Everyone get out!"
Everyone: "Awwwwww." :(
Makoto: "I guess I have to go. Thank you for—"
Sergei: "Wait. I won't let you go. You are the best partner for me in the world."
Makoto /BLISS



• OUTSIDE: The crowd departs, somewhat disappointed, but also excited.
Minako: "Mako was kept behind for a special lesson."
Rei: "Whoa. ¡Lucky girl! Did you see that guy's thighs?"
Ami: "Skater's build… Uh, where's Usagi?"
Rei: "God, she's such a turtle."

Suddenly! All the doors and windows on the Skating Rink slam shut, blast shutters roll down, and the laser defense system arms itself.

Ami: "I say, girls, do you think this might possibly have been a clever ruse on the part of the Dark Kingdom?"
Rei: "¡Damn it, V! Usagi's still in there…"
Minako: "Arrrrrrrgh, sorry! I keep forgetting that They can turn anyone into a monster, now."
Ami: "If you can't trust Soviet figure skaters to be themselves, who can you trust?"



• INSIDE THE MASTER CONTROL ROOM:
Katia /smashes the shit out of the computer room in a blind rage, then grabs the nearest blunt instrument and storms out.
Usagi /rubs nose, after having been hit in the face with the door.
Usagi: "What was her problem?"
Usagi /glances at the computer screens. Well, what's left of them.
Usagi /takes in the situation at a glance. "They've identified Sailor Jupiter! Oh snap!"



• OUT ON THE ICE:
Sergei: "You've had some experience."
Makoto /blushes. "Well, not that much."
Sergei: "Won't you tell me about it?"
Makoto: "…Here? Now?"
Sergei: "Well, yes. I can't coach your skating if I don't know what you've done before."
Makoto: "Oh. Skating. Ha-ha! Ha! Yes. Of course. Well, uh—"
Katia /raging storm. "SO! THIS is what you're up to! I'd rather kill you than give you up to an amateur like that!"
Katia /starts to power up to monster form.
Makoto: "A demon! Quick, get back, I'll—"
Sergei: "Katia, you know I'm only stringing her along to find Sailor Moon. That was the whole plan, remember?"
Makoto: "…"
Katia: "Oh, yeah. Sorry."
Sergei: "Put down the blunt instrument. No true figure skater would resort to such crude techniques!"
Katia: "You're right, darling, but I've come too far to stop now!" /finishes the transformation. "You, too, love!"
Sergei /also powers up to monster form.

HE! Looks like an evil vampire!
SHE! Looks like an evil robot!
TOGETHER: They skate!



• AND NOW…
Announcer: "And now, the team from the Dark Kingdom: Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov!"
Dick Button: "This is Gordeeva and Grinkov's first outing representing the Dark Kingdom, which historically has fielded a very poor skating team, with the exception of Zoisite, best known for his unusual short programs."
Peggy Fleming: "But Gordeeva and Grinkov seldom disappoint! Tonight, they skate to Giuseppe Verdi's 'Dies Irae', a program they used before in the Soviet Nationals last year."
G&G: "Now that you have seen us, we cannot let you return alive!"
Makoto /!
<< G&G use Combination Jump Attack! >>
Peggy Fleming: "That is a very difficult combination to pull off together like that; I'm glad to see that the rumors of trouble in training are untrue."
Dick Button: "It all comes together in competition. You can see the real joy they find in the rink, coming out in their faces."
Makoto /slams into the wall, her skating outfit slashed to tatters.
Makoto /pats herself down in shock. Despite having just been slashed across the face and chest several times, she is completely unbloodied!
Makoto: "Whoa! I hadn't realized just what this Senshi business does for a girl's skin!"



• STARKLY CORUSCANT TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE COUNTER:
Usagi into Sailor Moon: 35
Usagi into Princess Moon: 1
Usagi into Disguise Form: 8
Ami into Sailor Mercury: 10
Rei into Sailor Mars: 9
Mamoru into Tuxedo Mask: 2
Makoto into Sailor Jupiter: 3
Minako into Sailor Venus: 2



• TADA!
Usagi /bursts in, dramatically. "I am the Terror that Trips in the Night! I am the twisted ankle that forces you to single instead of tripling! I AM SAILOR MOON!"
G&G: "We have been waiting for you!"
Ice skating blades materialize on Usagi's boots, and she dives onto the ice!
Usagi /double Sasha!
Usagi: "Damn it! I can't skate worth beans, even when I'm transformed?!"
<< G&G use Death Spiral! >>
Usagi /!
Enter Tuxedo Mask, dramatically, on figure skates!
Mamoru /daring last-minute SAVE!

Usagi: "Hey, Mister Super-Villain, did you just save the wrong girl?"
Mamoru: "Do not misunderstand me. I just don't like their dragging innocent bystanders into this. After we deal with them, I'll be coming after you for the MacGuffin."
Usagi: "Hey, I'll take what I can get, when I can get it."
Announcer: "And now, representing Japan: Mamoru Chiba and Usagi Tsukino!"
Kunzite /zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Peggy Fleming: "It looks like they're doing a themed routine, based on the famous Tokyo superheroes!"
Dick Button: "This should be very interesting. Chiba has always been a fantastic competitor in the men's singles competition, but this is his first pairs event."
Peggy Fleming: "The same for Tsukino, who is the very definition of amateur. Although she is a national-level competitor in Ultimate Frisbee."
Dick Button /laughs good-naturedly, then is all business again. "However, it must be said that Japanese teams traditionally dominate in Combat Pairs."
Peggy Fleming: "Who can forget the famous Shiratori/Sanzenin vs. Saotome/Hibiki match?"
Dick Button: "Skating to 'Moonlight Densetsu.'"



• BATTLE IS JOINED!
G&G: "Master Endymion, we don't actually need your help, thank you."
Mamoru /is surrounded by idiots. "I'm not helping you, I'm fighting you."
Usagi: "Don't taunt the scary people with blade feet!"
<< G&G use Double Spin Kick! >>
Mamoru: "Jump!"
Usagi: "What?"
Mamoru /throws Usagi.
Usagi /!
Usagi /sticks the landing!
Peggy Fleming: "She two-footed it there, that will cost her on the technical."
Mamoru and Usagi /pairs spiral.
G&G /double Lutz, in pursuit.
Mamoru: "Jump! Higher!"
Usagi: "Easy for you to say!"
Dick Button: "This team is not synchronizing half so well as Gordeeva and—"
<< G&G lunge! >>
Usagi /triple toe-loop!
Dick Button: "—Did you see that?! A beautiful triple toe-loop, right over her opponents' heads! And the smile on her face." :)
Usagi: "LOOK MA! NO HANDS!" :D
<< G&G use Sit Spin Kick! >>
Usagi and Mamoru /slam into the wall.
Peggy Fleming: "Gordeeva and Grinkov clearly have the advantage here, but it's not over until—"
Makoto: "STOP TALKING! STOP TALKING! I just want to hear the music and watch the skating! If I want your commentary I'll ask for it!"

< MAKOTO : TECH > THUNDERGA : ALL FOES >
<< G&G are stunned! >>
<< ABC Sports team experiences technical difficulties! >>
Enter Sailors Mercury, Mars, and Venus, dramatically!
Enter Kunzite!
Kunzite: "I pity you, Endymion. In another time, we could have been friends, you and I." /flips a switch.

Suddenly! Freezing wind plasters everyone else to the ice, and frost starts forming on everything.

Kunzite: "This is my patented Icy Hell of Absolute Zero Temperature Device! And now, I shall leave you in this death-trap from which you cannot possibly escape, and return at a later time."
Usagi: "Do you expect us to talk?!"
{Kunzite has left the scene.}
Usagi: "No respect for tradition."
Mamoru /quietly uses the Compliant Rod to switch off the ice machine.
Usagi: "So, anyway…"
< USAGI : TECH > REFRESH : G&G >
Moon Healing Escalation!
<< G&G revert to their not-evil selves! >>
{Tuxedo Mask has left the scene.}
Usagi: "Now, hold still, Tux, this won't hurt a— Now how does he do that?"



• SCORES:
DRK
Technical Merit: 5.9 / 5.7 / 5.8 / 5.9 / 5.9 / 6.0 / 5.9 / 5.9 / 6.0 / 5.8
Presentation: 6.0 / 5.9 / 5.9 / 5.8 / 5.6 / 5.8 / 6.0 / 6.0 / 5.9 / 5.9
Battle Power: 5.8 / 5.7 / 5.2 / 6.0 / 5.3 / 5.4 / 5.3 / 5.5 / 5.9 / 5.7
Total: 138.9
JPN
Technical Merit: 5.1 / 5.5 / 5.5 / 5.7 / 5.9 / 5.8 / 5.4 / 5.7 / 5.3 / 5.5
Presentation: 6.0 / 4.9 / 5.9 / 5.9 / 5.7 / 5.8 / 5.9 / 5.2 / 5.2 / 5.5
Battle Power: 5.5 / 6.0 / 5.5 / 6.0 / 5.9 / 5.8 / 5.1 / 5.8 / 5.9 / 6.0
Total: 135.9



• "KISS AND CRY" AREA:
Announcer: "And the winning team is Gordeeva and Grinkov, for the Dark Kingdom!"
Sergei: "The Dark what? Not the Soviet—?"
Katia: "Darling, kiss me!"
Sergei and Katia /reconciled.
Usagi /cries. "We was robbed! The ISU marks are rigged! Boo! Hiss!"



• DENOUEMENT: Out on the street, that evening.
Makoto and Ami are passing Makoto's pocketknife back and forth, taking turns stabbing themselves in the arm.
Usagi /?!?!
Ami: "No, it's okay, look. It's not causing any damage. Apparently, as Senshi we resist conventional weapons."
Usagi: "…Come to think of it, I haven't skinned my knees in ages."
Ami: "There you go."
Usagi: "And here I was worried Mako was trying to kill herself over losing what's-his-name—"
Makoto: "What? No, no, no! Come on. I wasn't that taken by him. Don't be silly. I'm not letting it bother me! I just have to find anoth—"
Makoto /suddenly drops the knife and stares openly at some guy in a hoodie wandering past.
Makoto: "He's gorgeous."
Rei /looks. "¿He is?"
Makoto: "The shape of his nose is just like that of the boy who—"
Everyone Else: "OH FOR GOD'S SAKE!"
Usagi: "Somebody get this girl laid already!"
 
Last edited:

Shadowjack

Cartoon Poet
RPGnet Member
Validated User
Hey, Shadowjack, you don't happen to watch figure skating at all, do you? Why, no, no, not a bit, why do you ask? :cool:
 

JohnBiles

Registered User
Validated User
Re: Episode #39: Paired With A Monster?! Ice Queen Mako.

Makoto: "He… he looks just like the boy who broke—"
Ami: "No, he can't. You said he looked just like Crane Game Joe, and Sergei Grinkov looks nothing like Crane Game Joe."
Makoto: "But the way he wears his hair! It's just the same!"
Ami /takes notes. "Okay, looks like Crane Game Joe, sounds like Motoki the Video Arcade Operator, hair like Sergei Grinkov…"
I smell a future cosplay session...
 

Aaron Peori

Retired User
The really damning thing about this arc is how despite the major changes in the status quo, they refuse to change the formula. Mamoru has been kidnapped and turned evil and they still have him swooping in for last minute saves of Sailor Moon.

-------------
Epsilon
 

Cruton

Retired User
Daft Punk, "One More Time."
That... pretty much sums it up.

1) They're all human, or close enough.
2) They're all women, which suggests either that ice rinks were gender-segregated, or that men did not skate.
3) A variety of hair styles, colors, and clothing are in evidence, mixing freely, suggesting a range of ethnicities and social groups, and relative freedom of social movement, at least on the rink.
4) You know we're gonna do it tonight. Hey! Just feelin'. Music's got me feeling the need. Come on, all right. We're gonna celebrate.
Thrills! Chills! Amazons from beyond the ionosphere!

Ami: "If you can't trust Soviet figure skaters to be themselves, who can you trust?"
Thank god it wasn't the women's volleyball team.

Sergei: "Put down the blunt instrument. No true figure skater would resort to such crude techniques!"
Hey, look, a Tanya Harding joke! I haven't seen one of those in ages.

HE! Looks like an evil vampire!
SHE! Looks like an evil robot!
TOGETHER: They skate!
I love Kamen Rider villains.

Makoto and Ami are passing Makoto's pocketknife back and forth, taking turns stabbing themselves in the arm.
That... also pretty much sums it up.

Hey, Shadowjack, you don't happen to watch figure skating at all, do you? Why, no, no, not a bit, why do you ask? :cool:
There's no shame in that. Except for the part where we laugh and point at you. There may be some shame in that part.
 
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