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[IWIW] Sailor Moon (Part 5!): R continues, Hideous Laughing Woman Strikes!

ANT Pogo

Yuki Approved
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Okay, that made me laugh so hard it terrified my cat.
 

Shay Guy

Registered User
Validated User
Very sorry, but I must throw my hat in with the Tutu crowd. I haven't seen Utena, and it has a stellar reputation, but I have a hard time imagining it being better or more enjoyable than Princess Tutu.

ANN lists some interesting credits for Ikuko Ito, creator of Princess Tutu, including a bunch of Sailor Moon stuff. (What I really notice now that I've seen these credits is that she did the character designs for both Tutu and Asatte no Houkou, another series I love to bits.)

Honestly theres only one solution to the Shadowjack IWIW dilemma.

Cloning.
Hey, that was my solution to the Naoki Urasawa manga dilemma! Though mine was more "duplicator." Cardboard chassis optional. :D

I am so sorry
(no I'm not)
Knives, is that you?

(Three days 'til Finest Hour, woo!)
 

Shadowjack

Cartoon Poet
RPGnet Member
Validated User
#81: Dark Gate Completed? A Grade School in Danger.

WE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED THIS BEFORE
Chibi-Usa's best friend at school is "Momo", an awesomely spunky girl who stood up for her on her first day at the new school when the class bully immediately started in on her. Momo chastised him with a rolled up magazine. Chibi-Usa and Momo have been fast friends ever since.



ANYWAY
Chibi-Usa's been sick in bed again. It's that time of year, after all.
Artemis: "I think the temperature's come down! Excellent."
Luna: "How you feeling, girl?"
Chibi-Usa: "…a lot better. I hope I can go back to school tomorrow."
Luna /never thought she'd hear those words from a Tsukino woman, and smiles.
Usagi /pokes her head in. "Hello, hello. Someone's looking strong enough to pull the ears off a gundark. Up to some visitors?" :D
Chibi-Usa: "Yay!"

In come Ami, Rei, Mako, and Mina, bearing pudding snacks. And also…

Momo /shy of the big kids. "Hello?"
Chibi-Usa /LEAPS from the bed, scattering cats in her wake. "MOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMO!"
Momo /RUNS to meet her halfway. "CHIBIUSACHIBIUSACHIBIUSA!"
Chibi-Usa /BIG HUG! "YAAAAAAAAAAY!"
Momo /BIG HUG! "YAAAAAAAAAAY!"
Usagi: :)

Chibi-Usa and Momo disappear into conversation of their own, catching up on time lost.

Rei: "¿I wonder why we've never heard of Momo before?"
Minako: "Oh, pish-tush! Do you tell your folks everything about us?"
Makoto: "I'm glad she's made friends; she seemed so lonely at first."
Ami: "…I still wonder why they're trying to kill a sweet kid like her…"

Awkward pause.

Usagi: "…Way to kill the mood, Ami."
Ami: "Sorry! I just… worry, that's all. We still don't know what they're really up to!"



A COLD WIND BLOWS IN JUBAN PARK
A Dark Henge is busily ticking away.

A pillar of stone forms into a bishonen wrestler, who proceeds to use the RAW POWER OF MANLY GRUNTING to leech all life from the local vegetation—and fuel the Dark Henge's growth.




MEANWHILE, AT JUBAN ELEMENTARY
A second Dark Henge also ticking away, under the smiling supervision of another bishonen wrestler, twin to the first.

Chiral, for that is his name: "Lady Esmeraude, good evening."
Esmeraude: "I see it's growing well. And Achiral?"
Achiral, for that is the other's name /steps, impossibly, out from behind his brother: "No problems at all, my lady."
Esmeraude: "Good."

Chiral has light skin and dark clothing; Achiral has dark skin and light clothing. Otherwise, they are twins.

Esmeraude /monologing. "No more sneaking about. No more roundabout tactics. No more run and hide. That's not my style, not how I built the name of Esmeraude. That's why those efforts failed. Tonight, we shall use direct, clear, overwhelming FORCE. We shall show no mercy to anyone who stands in our way! We will reject them, annihilate them, friends, family, even the pet dog if necessary. And thus shall I succeed. You two—destroy the Sailors."
Chiral/Achiral: "Yes, my lady!" /they merge, somehow, and vanish together.
Esmeraude: "With this victory as a gift for my Prince, I shall bid good-bye to this stinking ash-heap of a world. WHOAHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"



THE NEXT DAY: A FOREBODING SKY
Chibi-Usa: "Oh no I'm LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!"
Luna: "I tried to wake you on time, but you wouldn't listen! Curse all Tsukino women! (Except Ikuko, who feeds me.)"

At the school gates, they hesitate. What's that noise?

Chibi-Usa: "…I don't know this playground game."
Luna: "It's not a game, it's a RIOT!" :eek:

EVERYONE on the school grounds is fighting everyone else in a blind furious rage, smashing with whatever comes to hand—fists, stones, broken furniture. Many children and at least one adult are already bleeding on the ground. There is the smell of smoke.

Chibi-Usa sees Momo face off against a kid much bigger than either of them…

Chibi-Usa /runs to save Momo.
Luna: "No. Stop. Don't. Wait." /sigh.
Momo /BOOT TO THE HEAD.
Big Kid /K.O.
Momo /BOOT TO MAKE SURE.
Chibi-Usa /Keanu. "Whoa."
Momo /sneers. "What are you looking at?! I hate you!" /KICKS CHIBI-USA'S BUTT and runs away, laughing.
Chibi-Usa /?!?!?!?!?!?!
Chibi-Usa: "You suck!" /gives chase.
Luna: "Wait! …What in the world is happening? …What's that darkling glow from the roof?"
Artemis /materializes beside her. "Obviously, Dark P—"
Luna: "TALKING CAT! TALKING CAT!"
Artemis: "…"
Luna: "You startled me! What are you doing here?!"
Artemis: "Went looking for Dark Power, found some. You?"



CHIBI-USA'S NO GOOD VERY BAD DAY
The interior of the school is worse than the outside. It seems that almost everything that could be destroyed by hand has been. Broken glass, torn papers, wood splinters and spilled liquids are everywhere. The lights are out. Somewhere, a fire alarm rings, unheeded. Muffled shouts and cries echo through the halls. A few bodies moan… and a few don't.

Almost immediately, Chibi-Usa finds Momo… and a teacher… and several other students. All of whom have armed themselves, and grin maliciously at Chibi-Usa in the dark and ruined classroom. Chibi-Usa wisely turns and runs moments before they attack.

Chibi-Usa hides in a science storeroom. The pack passes the door… she's safe for the moment.

Something rattles in the room.

Chibi-Usa /!!!!!!!
Luna (whispering): "It's us."
Chibi-Usa (whispering): "Don't DO that!"



SUDDENLY!
Momo bursts in, furiously!
Momo: "Heeeeeeeeeeeere's MOMO! Come out and plaaaaaaaay…"
Momo: "…"
Momo: "She's not in here." /closes the door and leaves.
Chibi-Usa /crawls out from under the desk. "…Help!"
Luna: "Artemis, get the girls. Chibi-Usa, come with me, and we'll escape—"
Chibi-Usa: "Luna, I'm so very scared, but I can't run away and leave Momo all sick and crazy like that. I want to help fight, somehow."
Luna: "…All right, we'll wait here for the team." (thinks) "Might be safer waiting, anyway…"



MINUTES LATER, AT THE MIDDLE SCHOOL
Artemis /submarine explosion BLUE MEANIES!
Usagi: "Jumpin' Jehosophat! Let's go, guys—"
Suddenly! Gizmophone call.
Minako: (via gizmophone) "Incident at Juban Park! Calling all Sailors!"
Makoto: "Frell! Two at once?!"
Usagi: "Can they do that?"
Ami: "Okay, we'll reinforce the park, you get Chibi-Usa to safety, then meet us there."
Usagi: "Right!"



STARKLY CORUSCANT TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE COUNTER
Usagi into Sailor Moon: 43+28
Usagi into Princess Serenity: 1
Usagi into Disguise Form: 9
Ami into Sailor Mercury: 15+10
Rei into Sailor Mars: 13+9
Makoto into Sailor Jupiter: 8+9
Minako into Sailor Venus: 7+10
Mamoru into Tuxedo Mask: 2+1
Luna-P into Something-or-Other: 8



MEANWHILE, IN THE PARK
Minako: "HOW could anyone have missed THAT?!"

The Dark Henge is at least twenty meters high, and still growing…

Rei: "¡They've changed tactics on us! ¿Can they do that?"
Minako: "It's like the Battle of the Bulge or something."
Rei: "Well, whatever, let's destroy this thing."
Achiral /materializes. "I doubt you'll be able to handle it now it's this size."
Minako /instantly fires back. "We can handle quite a bit; we've had a lot of experience."
Achiral: "You've probably never experienced anything as big as this."
Minako: "Size isn't as important as how you use it."
Achiral: "I know a few tricks that may surprise you."
Minako: "Oh, we like surprises—"
Rei: "¿WILL YOU PLEASE STOP?"
Minako: "What? We're just talkin' about the Henge."
Achiral: "I can dig it."



THE SCHOOL
Artemis: "In just the past few minutes, the Henge here has doubled!"
Usagi: "We're in biiiiiiiiiiiiig trouble."
Artemis: "Twice as big, to be precise."
Usagi: "…where's Chibi-Usa hiding?"



THE PARK
<< Minako : Tech > LovelyChain : Achiral >>
< Achiral Grunty Stone Slab Defense! >>
<< Rei : Cast > BurnMandala : Achiral >>
< Stone Slab destroyed! >
< Achiral dodges! >
<< Ami : Cast > Water3 : Achiral >>
< Achiral dodges, barely! >
Minako: "Hello, when'd you get here?"
Makoto: "Just now."
Achiral: "Now that you're all here—this is for you." /hands Minako an envelope.
{Achiral has left the scene.}
Minako /opens the envelope. "…It's an engraved invitation." (reads) "'You are cordially invited to a formal magical showdown at Juban Elementary School, to be held at the earliest convenient time. Black tie. No need to RSVP.' The envelope also contains gift certificates for free shrivings at the place of worship of our choice." /tears up all the papers. "THAT JERK!"
Rei: "¡OH NOES that's Chibi-Usa's school!"
Ami: "…Yeah, we know. Usagi's handling it."
Rei: "…¿Was that meant to make me feel better?"
Makoto: "Sure, if you like."



THE SCHOOL
Usagi /LUNAR STEALTH ACTION.
Usagi /finds the proper room.
Usagi /removes cardboard box disguise. "…Chibi-Usa? Luna? Helloooooo…? They're gone?"
Artemis: "Uh-oh."
Skeleton: "Sailor Moon?"
Usagi /PANTS-WETTING TERROR.
Chibi-Usa /was behind the skeleton. "Sailor Moon!" /desperate hug.
Usagi /hugs back. "It's okay! It's okay! We're all okay. Luna, you here?"
Luna: "I'm here. I'm all right."
Usagi: "Artemis?"
Artemis: "I'm fine."
Usagi: "And Chibi-Usa's okay."
Chiral: "I'm fine, too."
Usagi: "Good."
Luna: "…"
Chibi-Usa: "…"
Usagi: "…"
Chiral /boogity-boogity-BOO!
Usagi: "Zoiks!"



RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
Usagi: "HE CAME THROUGH THE WALL! HE CAME THROUGH THE WALL!"
Chiral /steps out of the wall to pursue them. "You better get it up, or I'm gonna have to kill you!"
Usagi: "Go to hell!"
Chiral: "That's the spirit!"
Usagi: "I AM THE TERROR WHO—"
Chiral: "If you have time to say that nonsense, shouldn't you spend it praying to the Buddha?"
Usagi: "…Droids these days have no respect for tradition!"

Achiral /steps, impossibly, out from behind Chiral.
<< Achiral unleashes THE CRAW! >>
< Usagi dodges, easily! >
Usagi: "Whoa! Spiffy effects, dudes. I guess that means you're recurring adversaries, huh? I mean, it'd really suck to put years of effort into learning ultimate kung fu powers and then go down like a chump to a schoolgirl in less than fifteen minutes."
Achiral: "Good idea!" /waves his hand.
Momo /steps out of the shadows by Achiral, clutching a broom handle and grinning psychotically.
Chibi-Usa: "Momo, no! Snap out of it!"
Artemis: "She's corrupted by Dark Power, she can't hear or think other than what they want her too."
Chibi-Usa: :mad:
<< Chiral unleashes—
<< Ami : Cast > Bubble1 : All Foes >>
Chiral: "Frell!"

Makoto: "Mercury has this thing about kids getting hurt, so you should probably surrender soon."
Chiral /teleports away.
Ami: "…I'll accept that."
<< Momo attacks Usagi! >>
<< Usagi dodges, easily! >
<< Momo attacks Chibi-Usa! >>
<< Rei performs Daring Last-Moment SAVE! >>
< Rei is hit. Whop! …2 points damage. >
Rei /holds Momo at arm's length, unable to decide between amusement or pity.
Momo: "GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR." :mad: /keeps trying to kill Chibi-Usa.
Chibi-Usa: "Momo!"

Achiral /assumes Falling Mountain Stance.
Makoto /!
<< Makoto : Attack—
Chiral /teleports in, behind Makoto.
<< Chiral casts Dark Bolt on Makoto! >>
< Makoto is stunned! >
Chiral: "That takes care of the most dangerous one!"
Ami: "Hey!"
<< Achiral deploys Dark Box! >>
<< Usagi is hurt! Makoto is hurt! Minako is hurt! Rei is hurt! Ami is hurt! >>
<< Momo is hurt! >>
<< Chibi-Usa is hurt! >>

Chibi-Usa /hugs Momo.
Chibi-Usa's caste mark flares!



AS THE PILLAR OF LIGHT FADES
Chiral/Achiral: "The Rabbit?!"
< Momo has been restored! >
Momo: "…Wha' happen?"
<< Achiral casts Dark Bolt on Chibi-Usa! >>
Momo /?!
< Momo performs Daring Last-Moment SAVE! >>
<< Momo is hurt, badly! Momo is down! >>
Chibi-Usa /!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chibi-Usa /flashbacks to the Fall of Serenity's Tower, when Serenity leapt in front of a blast to save Chibi-Usa…



DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Chibi-Usa /lub dub
Chibi-Usa /Tetsuo. "WHOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Chibi-Usa /blows a hole in the Moon.



AT THAT PRECISE MOMENT, IN THE FUTURE
WAIT, HOW DOES THAT WORK, EXACTLY?
BEST NOT THINK ABOUT IT TOO HARD
AT THAT PRECISE MOMENT, IN THE FUTURE
Wiseman /?!
Prince Dimande /?!
Wiseman /hurries over to study the energy readings.
Wiseman: "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…"
Wiseman: "…If the Rabbit has such power… it would be a waste to kill her, heh heh heh."
Prince Dimande: "Sounds like you already have a plan."
Wiseman: "But of course, my lord…"
Saphir /eavesdropping. "…"



MEANWHILE, AT THE FUTURE SITE OF AN OLYMPIC STADIUM
The entire elementary school grounds have dissolved in light. Chiral and Achiral were flung far from ground zero…

Chiral /dizzy, dirty, dazed. "SUCH POWER!"
Achiral /ditto. "IMPOSSIBLE!"
Chibi-Usa /faints.
The light fades.
Usagi: "Whatever that was, it knocked the pigtails right out of her!"
Ami: "How'd she generate such power?!"
Minako: "Maybe she's a Vegan?"
Usagi: "No time for speculation! Mercury, Venus, look after her. Mars, Jupiter, you're with me."

They march over to what was the playground, to hunt for the twins.

Chiral/Achiral /materialize from the earth behind the team.
Enter Tuxedo Mask, dramatically, armed with +3 blessed throwing roses.
Mamoru: "No time for speeches! Look out!"
Usagi /spins about and fires.
<< Usagi : Cast > Halation : All Foes >>
Chiral/Achiral /!
Chiral/Achiral /merge with the earth once more—
<< Makoto : Cast > SparkWave : Ground >>
< Sailor Jupiter's blast rips up the earth! Chiral is stunned! Achiral is stunned! >
Chiral and Achiral can't get away!
HALATION!
<< Chiral is eliminated! Achiral is eliminated! >>
<< Both Dark Henges shattered! >>
Usagi: "YES!"
Esmeraude: "NO NO NO!"



GRRRRARRRRGH!
Esmeraude /storms in. "DAMN YOU!"
Usagi: "Sorry we killed your boy toys."
Esmeraude: "They're not my—"
Esmeraude: "DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" /leaps to the attack—
Nokia ringtone.
Esmeraude: "Excuse me, I have to take this." /giant mobile phone. "Yes?"
Prince Dimande: (via timephone) "Our priorities have changed; your mission has been suspended. Return home for new orders."
Esmeraude: "But I was just about to kill the Sailors for you—"
Usagi /starts shouting. "Bullshit! She's lying to you! We're quite all right!"
Prince Dimande (via timephone) "I say again—"
Usagi /shouting. "She's not actually at work, she's at the store buying vodka and ice cream with her new boyfriend! She's cheating on you!"
Esmeraude: "Shut up! No, not you, my lord. …Nobody! The television!"
Usagi /shouting. "I'm not the television, she's cheating on you and said you're a dickhead! I'm really very sorry for you!"
Esmeraude: "CUT IT OUT—"
Prince Dimande (via timephone): "Return immediately! That's an order!" /hangs up
Esmeraude: "YES, my lord!" /drops phone. "OHHHHHH, YOU LITTLE SHITS! You think you've won!"
The Sailors look at each other, then look back.
Usagi: "Pretty much, yeah."
Esmeraude: "Well… er… you haven't! I'd totally kick your asses if I was being serious about it, but I've got more important things to do! So there!" /WHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
{Esmeraude has left the scene.}
Usagi: "Oh yeah? Well I'm never serious, so there!" /HAHAHA! "I don't like her."



AND SO…
An entire wing of the hospital has been turned over to patients from this incident. The team, along with Chibi-Usa and Mamoru, are visiting Momo, who has a head wound among other injuries.

Ami: "Oh, GAWD, here comes that police detective again, Minako, distract him with your Interpol card, anything, get rid of him."
Minako: "Will do!" /exits.
Chibi-Usa: "…Does it hurt much?"
Momo /very quiet. "Not much…" /tries to smile. "Look, we're the reverse of yesterday… you and me…" /tries to laugh.
Chibi-Usa /tries to smile.



DENOUEMENT
A city rooftop. Sunset.

Chibi-Usa: "…I'M GOING TO DO IT."
Usagi: "Do what?"
Chibi-Usa: "I'm going to go to the future and SAVE MY MOM!"
Usagi: "Okay, how?"
Chibi-Usa: "With this Key of Space-Time. I haven't gotten it to work before, but I think I can this time. Please, will you come with me and help me?"

CUE: Chrono Trigger theme.
Mamoru /steps forward instantly. "You have my mask."
Makoto: "And my lightning!"
Rei: "And my fire!"
Minako: "And my vuvuzela!"
Ami /slap!
Minako: "Ow! Hey, aren't you happy, Ami? You'll finally get to find out what the villains are really up to!"
Ami: "You're damn right, we will! And then we'll mess it all up for them!" :D
Minako: "Woo!" /high-five. :D
Luna: "As your adult supervision, I am duty bound to inform you that this plan is incredibly dangerous. (And I wish I'd thought of it first.)"
Artemis: "Indeed. Where—excuse me, when—you are going, there will be no easy roads for you to follow."
Usagi: "Roads?" /pulls out Gurren Lagaan sunglasses. "Where we're going we don't need—" /:cool: "—roads."
 
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