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[IWIW] Sailor Moon (Part 5!): R continues, Hideous Laughing Woman Strikes!


Registered User
Validated User
Re: Sailor Moon R Episode #86: Saphir Dies! Wiseman's Trap.

For that matter, we're getting towards the point where people might start inadvertently giving S-season spoilers. I've already thought of at least one thing that people might spoil without even realizing they're doing it, and I'm hoping we can avoid it.

Spoiler: Show
As far as I can remember, the Professor isn't called by any other name for a fair while into S. His real name isn't much of a spoiler, but it makes for a nice little detail when it's finally revealed.

So if possible, I hope everyone can just call him 'the Professor' until Shadowjack indicates otherwise...
Spoiler: Show
Screw that, i'm gonna call him dr weird


Registered User
Validated User
Re: Sailor Moon R Episode #86: Saphir Dies! Wiseman's Trap.

Speaking of the musicals, and of TV series music...
Spoiler: Show
Would someone please explain why "La Soldier" is associated with the musicals when it's the background music for the climactic battle of the R-series? (and is heard in the S-series too)
Spoiler: Show
Because it first appeared in the musicals (which began in Summer 1993, long before the finale to R, which aired at the beginning of March, 1994), and because it appears in every musical, generally as an encore. Even the version that appears in episode 88 is sung by the original musical cast. (So is the second version of Moonlight Densetsu, incidentally.) It's definitely a musical song first and an anime song second.


Making wizards funky again
Validated User
I rather liked Saphir. He had a quiet competence that I find appealing in a character. Never really evil, but born into an evil society, he has too much familial pride to let the others screw up operations, and so does what he can to help ensure success for the war, but is not so blinded by that pride as to fall for Wiseman's manipulations.

Had he actually been in charge of operations, the Scouts would have been in serious trouble... and if he had survived and reformed, he would have made a helluva ally for them, as well.


Retired User
... Usagi standing up under mental and physical attacks reminds me so much of Hal Jordan vs. Parallax...

Parallax: Give up.
Parallax: You failed once, you'll fail again.
Parallax: Lay down and die. You're weak. You're scared. Give up now. Give up.
Hal Jordan: I...
Parallax: Give up damn you.
Hal Jordan: I don't know how.


Retired User
You know, I never quite feel the tension at the end of R. It just doesn't come together for me, somehow. It's a good plot, I suppose, but it had a lot of threads that never got played out because they were introduced too late.

Ah, well, pass the popcorn and keep'em coming.


Cartoon Poet
RPGnet Member
Validated User
You know, I never quite feel the tension at the end of R. It just doesn't come together for me, somehow. It's a good plot, I suppose, but it had a lot of threads that never got played out because they were introduced too late.
Sadly, I must agree. It doesn't quite click. Almost, but not quite.

Ah, well, pass the popcorn and keep'em coming.
Stand by. :)

Aaron Peori

Retired User
I never saw the finale of R because I could safely dismiss the entire season from my fanfic writing needs.

On the other hand, I'm looking forward to S with baited breath.



Cartoon Poet
RPGnet Member
Validated User
R #88: The Final Battle Between Light and Darkness! Love Sworn to the Future.

Wiseman—no, correct that, DEATH PHANTOM: "…made glorious summer by this WHOAHOHOHOHOHOHOHO giggle snerk snort BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! …And Esmeraude thought she knew how to laugh! HA! Ah, the sweet smell of success. DEATH PHANTOM almost regrets having to destroy everything, since there'll be no one for him to gloat over. Final checks. Everything in order? EBC: Scintillating. Dark Henge: Tumescent. The Rabbit: Dreaming my dreams of darkness. The Sailors: All in one place, a nice easy target… Yes, yes. Excellent! ARISE BLACK STORMS!"

Artemis: "We're all gonna die."
Luna: "What happened to your stiff upper lip?"
Artemis: "I traded it in for two squeaky toys, and one of those circulating water bowls."
Luna: "…Should have held out for a ball of string."

Everything's powering up. We join the dramatic reunion already in progress:

Rei: "'¡Get her!' ¿That was your plan?"
Usagi: "I'm sorry, I just got so excited…" :eek:
Ami: "I like it. It's very scientific."
P.A.: "Dark Gate active in: 15 minutes."
Black Lady: "Soon, the Dark Gate will open, and Wiseman shall send the power of the Evil Black Crystal through to me. I will take in that power and smash this world and everything in it to pieces!" /BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Usagi: "…but you'll die too!"
Black Lady: "So? This world is already ULTIMATE MISERY AND SUFFERING. No one in this world loves me, so it can be blown to bits for all I care!"
Rei /mutters. "Oh, just start cutting yourself already… sorry, I don't mean that."
Usagi: "There are many who love you!"
Black Lady: "…You mean I might have made a mistake?"
Usagi: "Yes!"
Black Lady: "I'd rather admit to being unloved than to being imperfect." /MAD SPASM OF LAUGHING VIOLENCE

Everyone goes tumbling…

Usagi /tries to stand up.
Black Lady: "First I'll take care of you: the noisy one! SHUT UP FOREVER!" /BLAM!

Mamoru /collapses. "…we've got to stop meeting like this…"
Usagi: "Just buy me body armor for my birthday, okay?!"
Black Lady: "This is absurd!"
Usagi: "You're telling me! I pick up a pad of paper and he leaps in front of it to save me from paper cuts!"
Black Lady: "No, I mean — sacrificing himself for another! Heck, that's what you're all doing here! What is the damn point?!"

The Sailors confer briefly, then elect Usagi to speak for them.

Usagi: "It's natural for one to protect that which is precious to them—especially a friend. You are our very precious friend, loved by all, and so we wish to protect you to the utmost. So there it is, Chibi-Usa. We love you and want you to come home safe."
Black Lady /…starts to cry.
DEATH PHANTOM: "Black Lady! Lend not your ears to this drivel! The only truth is that all things are dark. …I guess I'd better recharge your batteries, here." /FOOOOOOSH EBC POWER!
Black Lady /is reenergized! "MUST. DESTROY. ALL."
Usagi: "Frell!"

Everyone is beaten down…

Usagi /look of eagles.
Mamoru /takes her hand. "I have a crazy idea. Let's end this trial here and now."
Usagi: "…a whole episode and a half early? Tux, you're crazy! I love you!"
Mamoru: :)
Usagi: "Hey, Black Lady! I'm going to save Chibi-Usa whether you want me to or not!"
Black Lady: "I won't lose to the Silver Crystal's pathetic powers!" /POURS IT ON
Usagi /THROWS IT RIGHT BACK. "I've put on many faces in this game, and wielded some mighty powers. But there's only one face that can help this child."
Mamoru /?

Sailor Moon's greatest disguise yet: a responsible adult! A devoted wife and loving mother of one darling girl! The beloved sovereign of billions! A beautiful woman in a flowing white dress, tailored to evoke angelic wings…

Black Lady: "…MOMMY?!"
Mamoru: "Holy shit, she's become NeoQueen Serenity!"
Serenity: "Small Lady, remember now when you were young…"

Serenity's caste mark flickers and pulses. Black Lady tries to ward it off, but hers resonates at the same frequency, and in a moment…

Okay, see, this one time, Momma and Daddy and I were walking in the rain? And I had my own 'brella for the first time! And I saw a froggy, and I wanted to look at the froggy but Momma said "YOU ARE GOING TO SLIP AND FALL" and then I DID and it hurt and I was all wet and Mommy said, "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR MOM," and "DON'T CRY" and I said "I HATE YOU!" and Daddy looked mean and he wouldn't help me up he said "YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO DO IT YOURSELF" and I said "I HATE YOU!"

Serenity: "Let's pause this here. What did you think we were doing?"
Black Lady: "You let me stay hurt and cold ON PURPOSE. You wouldn't pick me up!"
Serenity: "That's true. But why did we do that?"
Black Lady: "Because you enjoyed it! See? You're both smiling right there."
Serenity: "But what kind of smile is it? Is it a cruel smile? Did we smile when you first got hurt?"
Black Lady: "…No."
Serenity: "The smile you see there—when have you seen us smile like that before?"
Black Lady: "…When I was learning something. When you wanted to see what I was going to do next."
Serenity: "And we smiled more when you did stand up, didn't we?"
Black Lady: "You did."
Serenity: "We wanted you to learn to find the strength to stand up on your own, because we cannot always be there to pick you up, though we wish we could be. We wanted you to grow up into a strong person, and learning to stand is one of the important first steps."
Black Lady: "You didn't want to see me hurt, but when I was, you wanted to see me learn to be stronger than the hurt."
Serenity: "Yes."
Black Lady: "You didn't hurt me at all. You were trying to help me, but I couldn't see it."
Serenity: "Because you were young and small and hadn't learned yet. But you're learning now, aren't you? And we're proud of you for that."
Black Lady: "…Mommy… Daddy…"

DEATH PHANTOM: "Poor little rabbit, starved for love, do not be confused by her clever words! TRUST NO ONE! A person is born alone, they die alone, and they spend most of the rest of the time suffering. You have always been alone."
Black Lady: "…I have always been alone…"
Serenity: "THAT'S NOT TRUE!"

Serenity, Tuxedo Mask, Black Lady, and DEATH PHANTOM float in a dark pocket-dimension of personal despair.

Serenity: "Small Lady, we must escape from this place! A person's mind and body can't survive here for long!"
Black Lady: "Oh, yeah? Then why aren't you two escaping?"
Serenity: "Because my life is of no consequence as long as you are safe! So I won't leave without you! Small Lady, everyone experiences hardship and sorrow; sometimes, you may even wish you could vanish out of loneliness. But even so, one must endure and live on, remembering the warmth people can share with one another."

Serenity uses the Silver Crystal to shine light upon Chibi-Usa's memories. Ice cream with Ami after study time! Jazzercise with Rei and her silly grandpa! Mako lunches! Being super nurses with Mina and scaring, I mean, helping everybody! Piggyback rides with Mamo! Even making huge messes, I mean, cooking in the kitchen with Usagi!

Serenity: "All those happy memories can't have been just illusions. (And even if they were, the feelings they inspired are still real!) YOU ARE NOT ALONE."

Serenity /takes Black Lady's hand.
Black Lady: "…it's so warm… Why do you go to such lengths for me?"
Serenity: "Because I love you, Chibi-Usa."
Mamoru /nods confirmation, and smiles.
Black Lady /smiles.
The Dark Moon caste mark fades…
Black Lady /hugs Serenity.

The Sailors gawk as Tuxedo Mask and Serenity descend from the heavens. Serenity returns to Sailor Moon, and little Chibi-Usa—restored!—is in her arms, asleep and smiling. HOORAY!

Usagi: "Are you okay?!"
Chibi-Usa: "…I'm okay. I understand now. Thank you." :)
Mamoru: "Are you okay?"
Usagi /wavering. "Huh? What? …Sorry, I blanked out there."
Chibi-Usa: "Well, you used the Silver Crystal a bunch."
Usagi: "Yeah. I'm okay. You okay?"
Mamoru: "I'm okay. You folks okay?"
Ami: "We're okay. I think we're all good."

Ami: "I just keep putting my boot in my mouth, don't I?"
Mamoru: "WHAT?!"
DEATH PHANTOM: "Remember me? I didn't want to disturb you, what with the kid and the tears of joy and all."
Usagi: "But we had fifteen minutes!"

DEATH PHANTOM waves his hands, and the Dark Henge begins flashing. With each flash, an ever-wider circle about it is sterilized of all life, leaving hollow shells of buildings…

The team is drowning under waves of black energy…

Mamoru: "At this rate, the Earth will become desolation!"
Usagi: "I will not permit it."

The team is now shielded from attack by brilliant white light!

Usagi /marches forward. "The thought that this Earth, so full of our memories, will no longer exist—the thought that everyone upon it will die—I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF IT!" /brandishes the Silver Crystal.
Ami: "But Sailor Moon, you can't use the Silver Crystal at full power in your condition! You've barely recovered from the last time, and the first time, you—"
Usagi: "We've been through this before. I'd prefer to live, but if my life can save others, then—"
DEATH PHANTOM: "I refuse to lose to some pigtailed goddess of sweetness and light!" /FOOOOOOOSH EBC POWER!

Serenity stands, invincible, in the center of the blast.



DEATH PHANTOM: "With the Dark Gate opened, your Silver Crystal is powerless!"
Serenity: "I'll try anyway!"

Chibi-Usa /sobs. "It's all my fault! If only I hadn't taken the Silver Crystal—"
Mamoru: "Wait, you took the Silver Crystal?"
Chibi-Usa /sobs. "YES! And then it disappeared! And now you're all gonna die and there's nothing I can—"
Mamoru: "Because our Silver Crystal was hidden inside Sailor Moon, and only came out when she—"
Chibi-Usa's tears coalesce, glow, and harden… becoming the Silver Crystal.
Mamoru: "—when she cried most desperately for a life she loved to be saved. Ah, there we go."
Chibi-Usa: "…The power was inside me all along? The Silver Crystal does that normally?! …WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?!"
Serenity: "YOU DIDN'T ASK!"
Chibi-Usa: "…after killing the Wicked Witch, I'm coming for Glenda!" /Little Miss Badass stands up.

Mamoru: "You know what you're risking?"
Chibi-Usa: "Everyone else risked their lives for me!"
Mamoru: "Then I'll be with you."
Ami: "We will not fail."
Rei: "For Earth—"
Makoto: "—all people—"
Minako: "—and the future—"
Serenity: "AND CAKE!"
DEATH PHANTOM: "Oh, for goodness sake, now they're all ganging up on me? What else could go wrong? …I said that ironically, so I think I'm safe."
Chibi-Usa /powers up into Princess Chibi-Serenity.
DEATH PHANTOM: "Oh, Hell's bells and balls. TWO Silver Crystals? Now that's just overkill."

Several minutes of back-and-forth, energy at power levels too starkly incredible for the human mind to contemplate, swelling music, etc., and in the end, DEATH PHANTOM finally goes disintegrates, going, "NOOOOOOOO!", and the big flash of light engulfs everything.

Chibi-Usa: "…did we die?"
Usagi: "If we did, that wasn't a bad way to go, was it, saving everyone?"
Chibi-Usa: "Yeah." :)
Serenity: "Sigh. You're not dead, sillies. You're going to regain conscious in a few minutes and resume long, interesting lives."
Usagi: "I had a hunch. After all, it's worked out that way before."
Serenity: "Don't push your luck too hard, though. There are limits to the Silver Crystal's miracles."
Usagi: "I guessed that too."
Chibi-Usa: "Momma?"
Serenity: "Don't keep everyone waiting, girl!"

Still in the core of the Dark Crystal construct, which is now shattered and drifting about in its own inner pocket space…

Usagi: "…are we alive?"
Mamoru: "YES! THANK GOD!"
Usagi: "They're gonna need to install a revolving door out there… OMG CHIBI-USA?!"
Chibi-Usa: "…am I awake now?"
Usagi: "YES! THANK GOD!"
Mamoru: "Now that we've saved her and dealt with the villain, I have a very important question for you."
Usagi: "The answer is yes! of course! but not right away."
Mamoru: "…A different very important question for you."
Usagi: "Oh. Go ahead."
Mamoru: "How do we get home?"

The Dark Henge dwindles, dissolves, and finally vanishes, leaving no sign that it was there…

…except, of course, the damaged buildings and roads where it stood, and the utterly denuded and sterilized death zone surrounding ground zero.

Artemis: "But the Tokyo construction firms are pros! They'll have that mess cleaned up in no time! Incidentally, a period of rapid construction is a perfect time to put into effect that proposal I made for a secret base…"
Luna: "I'll think about it."

Shadowjack: "What?! No scene where the sailors meet their future selves? CHEATED!" /shakes fist.
Ami: "Oh, you were gonna slash it up anyway, weren't you? Get out of here, bub." /throws him out.
Mamoru: "How did we get home?"
Usagi: "Sailor teleport?"
Mamoru: "How did I get home?"
Usagi: "Hitched?"
Rei: "I guess this is good-bye, Chibi-Usa. For now, anyway."
Chibi-Usa: "Rei, tell me my love fortune some day, okay? Ami, I hope someday you can help me with my schoolwork again! Mako, thanks for all the yummy lunches! Mina, let's play together again!"
Minako: "Don't wet your bed anymore, okay?" ;)
Chibi-Usa /phhhhhhbbbbbt!!! :p
Makoto: "Say hello to our future selves! Tell 'em to do a better job, the slackers, making us do all the work!"
Chibi-Usa /looks at Usagi.
Usagi /looks back.
Mamoru: "Well, come on, dear. This is good-bye." :)
Usagi: "…"
Chibi-Usa: "…"
Usagi: "…"
Chibi-Usa: "…"
Usagi: "…"

Usagi: "Goodbye, Chibi-Usa…"
Mamoru: "We'll meet her again, in a thousand years."
Usagi: "…or sooner, I suppose, if we, er… um…"
Mamoru: "…um…"
Usagi: "…um."
Mamoru: "Heh."
Usagi: "We'll talk later."
Mamoru: "Good idea."

Chibi-Usa finds herself in a Crystal Tokyo untouched by the vicissitudes of warfare, green and shining and thriving. She is greeted by the four Sailors, King Endymion, and NeoQueen Serenity.

Small Lady /…curtsies.
Serenity: "A curtsy! My daughter curtsies? Who taught you to do that?!" :)
Small Lady: "You did." ;)
Serenity: "The last thing I would have done when I was fourteen was curtsy."
Small Lady: "That's what you taught me: Do the last thing they would expect."
Endymion: "Uh-oh, they taught her turn-of-the-millennium humor."
Serenity: "C'mere, you! Welcome home!" :D
Small Lady: "YAY MOMMY!"

Usagi: "And with all crises resolved, now we can sit back, relax, and enjoy—"
Mamoru: "There's one more episode, Usa-ko."
Usagi: "…I AM NO LONGER USA-KO. I am MOODY RABBIT, Guardian of Woe, for my cruel Existence is but Suffering and Pain."
Mamoru: "Suffering and pain, eh?"
Usagi: "Behold, as I cut myself with this safety knife! Unh! …Hmm. This might take some time."
Mamoru: "Speaking of time and guardians of woe, what the heck happened to Sailor Pluto?"
Usagi: "I guess Tuxedo Mickey finally came back for her. Badum-tish!"
Sailor Pluto /crosses Usagi off of her Life Day card list.

Peter Svensson

Reads Too Many Comics
Validated User
All those "moonbeams" now make total sense in retrospect. Chibiusa had the silver crystal inside of her and it was reacting to her emotional state. She's been blasting things left and right with the crystal all this time and didn't know it!


Cartoon Poet
RPGnet Member
Validated User
R Episode #89: Usagi and the Girls' Resolve! Prelude to a New Battle.

Minako: "Welcome to a rip-roaring special episode, for—"
Usagi: "It's a goddamn clips show advertising the next series."
Minako: "But there's new footage!"
Usagi: "Like, three seconds worth."
Mamoru: "I guess we should summarize it?"
Rei: "Okay, #1: two new Sailor Senshi, sitting in a tree."
Usagi: "K-I-S-S-I-N-G?"
Rei: "Well, not in this shot."
Usagi: "She tasks me."
Ami: "#2: A mad scientist with test-tube monsters! Innnnteresting."
Usagi: "You can tell he's a mad scientist because his glasses are super-reflective and he has an evil grin!"
Makoto: "#3: Slighty-furry lady monsters who attack Rei by baring their chests at her!"
Rei /laments. "¡DIOS! ¡My only weakness!"
Usagi: "Really?" /reaches for top button.
Rei: "No."
Usagi /snaps fingers. Curses! Foiled again…
Luna: "…And is that it?"
Artemis: "Why, no! We also replay a bunch of the best footage from the past two seasons. Well, we call it the best, anyway. Some of it's good stuff."
Luna: "Is it artfully edited to music?"
Artemis: "Nnnnnno."
Mamoru: "Reanimated in super-high quality?"
Artemis: "No."
Usagi: "Redubbed with hilarious new dialogue?"
Artemis: "Well, they dubbed a couple of amusing lines over it."
Luna: "So basically they tease you with a couple of seconds of new preview footage at the start of the episode and a little bit of commentary in the characters' voices, then trick you into sitting through an entire episode's worth of clips you've already seen to fill up the advertising time slot and fulfill their production contract, and they don't even finish off with some new footage or music or something, they just trail off at the end and ask you to watch the next show."
Artemis: "…Yes."
Luna: "Girls, I have a new mission for you: We're going to assassinate the entire Japanese marketing industry."
Usagi: "AWESOME."
Minako: "Are they soul-sucking demonic aliens?"
Luna: "They'd have to be."

Artemis: "So, Shadowjack, talk to us about this next clip."
Shadowjack: "Well, I try not to plan ahead too much, because naturally I don't know what's coming up next. But when I have a hunch of what sort of scenes will be coming, I can't help but think up a couple of lines while I'm, er, thinking about it."
Artemis: "So this is one of those scenes?"
Shadowjack: "Basically, yes. I figured there would probably be a brief meeting between the present-day Sailors and the future Sailors—a sort of 'good job, passing the torch' scene—and let my mind wander on how I could play with that. But they never even glimpsed each other in the show. So these two bits are basically just sketches of sketches, since there wasn't really anything there to hang it on. Non-canonical."
Artemis: "Even more non-"
Shadowjack: "Even more non-canonical than usual, yes." :D
Artemis: "Let's look at the clip."

Cue rough and scratchy test footage. Marker! *clap*

Sailor Moon, Tuxedo Mask, and the Four stand in a wing of the Crystal Palace, facing NeoQueen Serenity, King Endymion, and the future Four, for the very first time.

Awkward pause.

Minako /raised eyebrow?
Venus-2 /;)
Minako /:D
Usagi /?
Ami /looks thoughtfully at Jupiter-2 and Makoto.
Mercury-2 /laughs.
Usagi /catches it and blushes.
NeoQueen Serenity /starts to crack up…
Makoto: "I know what you're all thinking! And you're all sick!"
Minako /starts humming "Clone of My Own…"
Mars-2 /snaps fingers. "¡Oh, that's right! This was back before I and—"
Rei: "¡I don't want to know! ¡I don't want to know! Lalalalalalalala—"
NeoQueen Serenity /does crack up.

Another scene.
Ami: "I have to ask—"
Mercury-2: "I know." :D
Ami: "Are you reincarnations, or descendents, or are you actually—?"
Mercury-2: "You know how She swore never to let any of us be hurt or killed or lonely again?"
Ami: "Yes…"
Mercury-2: "She keeps Her promises."
Ami: :eek: "…that's actually a bit disturbing…"
Mercury-2: "Not really. I know, you're worrying if after a thousand years a person starts getting bored with life?"
Ami: "That was one thought…"
Mercury-2: "It's sour grapes. Think about it: every single day, all over the Galaxy, something new is happening. Something new to see or do or learn or talk to. A thousand years hasn't been nearly enough."
Ami: "…But… do you ever get tired of each other?"
Mercury-2: "Well, everyone has disagreements now and then. Mars and I once spent fifteen years… well. My fault, really. But… You know how good it feels to fall in love… and how much better it gets after you've been together for a while?"
Ami: "Yes."
Mercury-2: "It's a linear progression. Add a thousand years."
Ami: "…!"
Mercury-2: "You're just starting a very long and wonderful journey. Trust me: you won't regret it."
Ami: "Does Usagi, I mean, Serenity know what she's done?"
Mercury-2: "I think She finally figured it out, but we've agreed not to be the first to bring it up with Her; She'd get all flustered." ;)
Ami: "Heh. …Before we go, any advice on being a goddess?"
Mercury-2: "Just be yourself. That's how it works, after all…"
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