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[IWIW Sailor Moon] Thread 8: Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of Science?

Talitha the Little Girl

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Validated User
I eagerly await the write-up, if mainly because I have a really funny story to share. :D

Edit - Oh, what the heck. I've been waiting for months to share the story.

Okay, my inspiration comes from the toy machine Minako got all those little toys-figuries from, yeah? Keep that in mind... ;)

The Story of the Toy Machine (a family favorite)

Let's start with the setting. This took place eight years ago, when I was thirteen years old and my sister Taylor eleven years old. Now, we were living in Fresno, California, which has a fairly sizable Deaf (both my sister and I are Deaf) population and community for its location and size (despite being the 5th biggest city in California, it has no "big attractions" of any kind, so it's just downright impressive that Fresno managed to attract so many Deaf people in the first place). My mom was quite active in the community, and we all loved the annual Thursday Deaf Pizza Night (always at Round Table Pizzeria).

Back in the old days, Deaf Pizza Night were big - around fifty Deaf people would be there, not counting the hearing people (who have close ties to the Deaf community) - and so naturally our friends were there. Two of Taylor's friends are important to this story: Erika and Maria. Also, this particular Round Table had several arcade-style games and machines (including that toy machine, y'know, the kind with a claw that picks up toys and drop it into a shaft to be retrieved).

Now, that you have the setting in your mind, let us move on to the next part of the story. I was sitting at a long table with my mom and several other people; Mom, naturally, was happily chatting the night away. She's a very sociable and extroverted person.

A college-aged girl came running in, looking for Mom. "Lucinda!"

Mom turned around in her seat. "Yes?"

"Your daughter's stuck in the toy machine!"

Mom just stared at the girl blankly. "The toy machine's malfunctioning?"

"No, she's stuck in the toy machine!"

"Oh, you mean she wedged herself behind the toy machine?" Mom sighed - all of those who knew Taylor knows that this is very likely.

"No, Lucinda, your daughter is stuck inside the toy machine!"

At this, Mom looked like she had been punched in face; a spilt second later, she sprinted off to where the game and toy machines were situated.

Sure enough, right there at the toy machine, two tiny feet - all covered with scribbles in purple ink - were sticking out.

Scenarios ran through Mom's head: the firemen would have to come and break out Taylor; is Taylor okay? Is she scared? How could she communicate with other people when her sight are blocked; how much would it cost to commiserate for the damage, and why is Taylor stuck inside the toy machine, all the way up to her feet?

(What happened was that her two friends, Erika and Maria, had dared her to climb inside and sit with the toys. Even at eleven years old, Taylor was a very tiny girl, and extremely flexible to boot, being a gymnast for years; also being the daredevil she is, no way would she turn down the dare. What none of them knew were that there was a flap in the shaft to prevent toys from falling out. Taylor got stuck when she tried to pass this flap.)

Before Mom could panic, however - indeed, at the moment, the only thing she could do what everybody else were doing: roar in laughter - one very tall Deaf man, named Jim (he was nearly seven feet), stepped over and grabbed Taylor by her squirming, wiggling feet, and gave one mighty yank.

Taylor shot out smoothly (only her left ear was nicked); upon catching sight of the people laughing at her, she dashed away in embarrassment. However, we were all relieved that she emerged none worse for wear, and Taylor did recover from the embarrassment (eight years later, she now shares that story).

So there you are, readers, the story of the toy machine! :D
 
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sun_tzu

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I know there have already been countless posts expressing the same sort of thing but:

I am regretting not keeping up with this thread. Apparently I missed a lot of interesting stuff including some wonderful comics drawn by Shadowjack. I've almost caught up at this point. This thread has done a lot to feed into my growing Sailor Moon obsession. At this point I am going into the series as blind as Shadowjack is since I stopped watching the series regularly when S came out. I am partiaularly waiting for these threads to make it so Super S since I want to see if it is really as bad as the episodes I saw as a kid would lead me to believe.

It's also doing a lot of good in helping me understand the series for my upcoming Sailor Moon game (using the guardians of order rulebooks)
The whole thread(s) can be fun reading, but if you're looking for specific comics/episodes by ShadowJack, there's always the index...
 

Talitha the Little Girl

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Minako Aino's Grade School Adventures! :D
Haha! :D

Minako: "So, Usagi, did I ever tell you I once went inside a crane machine, just like this one?"
Usagi: ?
Artemis: "Wait a moment, miss, I don't recall anything of the sort."
Minako: "Oh, that happened when I was, like, ten or eleven, long before we met. Wanna hear the story?"
Usagi: /is slightly skeptical "Sure, go ahead. Oh, be sure to grab that Sailor Mars figurine right there."
Minako: "What, this one?"
Usagi: "Yeah, that's it!"
Minako: "So, what happened was, my parents took me to some social event at a pizza place, and there was an arcade near by."
Artemis: "Oh, now I recall hearing your father mention this. Isn't this the one where you -"
Minako: /grabs Artemis' mouth and holds it shut
Minako: "Lemme tell the story!"
Artemis: /glares
Luna: /heehaw!
Artemis: /it's not funny!
Minako: "Now, where was I? Oh yeah! So I went the arcade, and I was totally wiping the floor with a couple girls who sucked at video games. Ha! Anyways, then they saw a crane machine, and they dared me to climb inside and sit with the toys."
Usagi: "...wait. Climb inside? Didn't you say you were eleven years old?"
Minako: "Around ten or eleven, yeah. So, they were pointing at the little deposit box and told me to go in through it - I'm serious!"
Usagi: /is even more skeptical
Artemis: /is still muzzled by Minako's hand
Minako: "So, after I stretched a couple times, I fit my head and shoulders through it, and went up the shaft... there was this little flap in the shaft, did you know? To keep the toys from falling out of the machine. So, when I wiggled past it, I got stuck. My elbows got caught in a funny position after I got up to my armpits past the flap."
Usagi: /starting to giggle
Minako: /giggling as well "I'm dead serious! This really happened! So, I was totally stuck, and I can't see or hear anything... only my feet were still outside that little deposit box. I've taken off my shoes before I started climbing inside, because they were a bit too big and clunky, and I didn't want to lose them. I liked those shoes."
Usagi: /cracking up
Minako: "So, I couldn't do anything but squirm and wiggle my feet like crazy, hoping help will come in any form. I was thinking that they'll have to call the firemen to come and break the machine apart. How crazy is that? I'm serious, really, seriously, this did happened! So, I was inside the toy machine for probably about five minutes when I felt huge hands grab at my ankles. It scared me, so I began to kick and wiggle the best I could with my feet, as deep in the machine as I was. No luck, however, because the next thing I knew, the hands yanked on my feet really hard and I shot out of the toy machine!"
Usagi: /guffawing "Oh my gosh, did this really happened?"
Minako: "Yes! Ask Artemis, he overheard my dad telling the story!"
Artemis: "Mm-hmm!"
Minako: "Oh, whoops."
Minako: /removes hand from Artemis' muzzle
Artemis: "Thank you. Yes, as I was saying before, I recall hearing his father sharing the story with his friends."
Minako: /sigh "Years later, my parents still won't let me live that down."
Usagi: /unable to speak due to laughing so hard
Luna: /also giggling "That was a fantastic story! We must share it with the other Senshi!"
Minako: "Um... well..."
Minako: /sigh
Minako: "If you insist."
Minako: (Man, they'll never stop teasing me about that.)
Minako: "You know what the worst part was? It wasn't good enough to be in the news." :(
 
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Shadowjack

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Episode #109: A Time of Shock! True Identities Releaved to One Another!

Rei: "…¿'Releaved'?"
Usagi: "As a matter of fact, I am. All that tension, gone at last—"
Rei: /tsukkomi slap.
Usagi: "D'owie!"
Rei: "Not RELIEVED. It's supposed to be REVEALED. ¿How do you transpose two consonants on opposite ends of the word like that?"
Usagi: "Well, in Japanese, the V and L sounds are lery simivar, you know."
Rei: "…Good-bye."
Usagi: "Wait, come back, don't veale me!"



Meanwhile, Back in the Lab…
Eudial (via telephone): "Hey, Prof, I'm analyzing the Grail Data you gave us, and there's shadows of a human presence in there!"
The Professor: "Of course! The Grail contains a portion of the profile of its intended wielder, as a security feature."
Eudial (via telephone): "I see, so once we find the Grail, we then need to find someone who fits the profile closely enough to use it."
The Professor: "Precisely! And there's the rub, because if we find a user who shares our beliefs—"



The Professor: "—we shall institute A WORLD OF DARKNESS! Whereas, if the Grail is taken by someone opposed to us—"




The Professor: "—we shall be CRUSHED! Thus, it is IMPERATIVE that we take the POWER within our HANDS—" *crunch*
Eudial (via telephone): "…What was that noise?"
The Professor: /looks at crushed remains of his telephone handset. "…Er… nothing."
Eudial (via somewhat-damaged but still-functional telephone): "Anyway, just checking, but we're saying that the bright pastel butterfly future of 80s anime is the Bad End, right?"
The Professor: "Of course! Is there any question?"
Eudial (via telephone): "Well, speaking from prior experience, I'm not sure that turning world governance over to the Camarilla would be an improvement."
The Professor: "You simply lack VISION!" /flails dangling bits of phone about.
Eudial (via telephone): "That may be so, but my telephone isn't broken."
The Professor: "…um."
Eudial (via telephone): "That's okay, we'll just take it out of your paycheck."

Pause.

The Professor: "…Wait a minute, you're saying that I've been working for you all this time?"
Eudial (via telephone): "Hmm, this might explain why my checks haven't been clearing…"
The Professor: "This is all the fault of the SAILOR SENSHI!"



Study Session at the Shrine
Mako: "One hundred problems, twenty-three minutes! A new record!"
Usagi: /removes hachimaki and takes a bow. "Thank you! Thank you! I think I'm getting the hang of this—"
Ami: "Forgot to carry the three."
Usagi: "…"
Usagi: "WHY GOD?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!! I can't take this level of stress and suffering!!! I cannot possibly imagine anything worse than—"
Rei: "¿Excuse me? ¿How many of us in this room have died?"
Everyone: /raises their hands.
Rei: "¿More than once?"
Everyone: /hands stay up.
Rei: "¿How about had your soul removed?"
Mina: /takes her hand down.
Rei: "There has been at least 15 times more suffering among us than you are experiencing at this moment."
Usagi: "You're saying I should have some fucking perspective."
Ami: "In comparison to torturous death, studying is actually kind of— ow!"
Mako: "You asked me to, remember?"
Ami: "Yeah, yeah. Sorry."
Usagi: "Ami, when they asked me, 'Cake or Death?', I expect to receive cake, not whole-grain crackers with a heart-healthy spread."
Ami: "You'd eat them anyway though, wouldn't you?"
Usagi: "…yyyyeah. But I'd whine about it!"
Mako: "She's got you there."
Mina: "I've been doing the math, and I'm only getting 14 times more suffering. Where did I go wrong?"



Nearby Park, On the Way Home
Minako sits on a swing and mopes.

Mina: "Where did I go wrong?"
Artemis: "In relation to what?"
Mina: "The Daimons go after those of pure heart, correct?"
Artemis: /sees where this is going. "…Mina, for goodness' sake, you don't—"
Mina: "They've gone after everyone else, but I'M unscathed! What, I'm not PURE enough for them? I haven't even—"
Artemis: "Perhaps the scars of a veteran warrior and the wise compromises of maturity make one less—?"
Mina: /DEATH GLARE.
Artemis: "Er, yeah, I suppose that does make it sound like I'm saying you're a grim monster who's already sold her soul."
Mina: /DEATH GLARE.



Artemis: "Um… Perhaps your inconsistent characterization across seasons counts as— No, um. Your strength lies in being a generalist, not a specialist! You're a melding of archetypes. We don't know how they define 'pure'. Maybe they just haven't gotten around to you yet? Saving the best for last! Um…"
Mina: …sigh.



The Gym, the Next Day
After a long hiatus, Minako takes up again the noble volleyball. She spends several furious minutes performing forceful volleyball drills, until she wrecks the equipment and works herself into exhaustion.

Usagi: /crawls out from under a pile of volleyballs.
Usagi: /woozily. "Gosh, you're really frustrated, aren't you?"
Mina: "ZOMG did I hit you?!"
Usagi: "…clobbered by my own bodyguard…"
Mina: "Ack! Sorry! Sorry!"
Usagi: "It's all right! I'm okay! I'll regenerate!"
Mina: "Did the cats sic you on me? IT'S NOT LIKE I'M FRUSTRATED OR ANYTHING."



Usagi: /squeaks. "Well, okay, they did mention some concerns, but I was going to, anyway."
Mina: "…I can't stay mad at you, Princess. Let's go walkies."



Crown Arcade
Minako has declared war upon the crane machine.

Usagi: "So, you're the only one of us who hasn't been mugged for her soul yet, but the way these things go, it's only a matter of time."
Mina: "Can't talk. Concentrating."
Usagi: "The others don't know you the way I do, so I'm not surprised you're a bit nervous, but don't worry, you know we'll be right there to defend you."
Mina: "CAN'T TALK. CONCENTRATING."
Usagi: "…"
Mina: /mutters. "…if they don't realize I'm not pure-hearted, the enemy can't be all that formidable…"
Usagi: "Wait a minute, you don't WANT to be targeted, do you?"
Mina: /avoids eye contact.
Usagi: !
Usagi: /grabs Minako by the collar, spins her around face to face, and starts hammering her into the crane machine.
Usagi: "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, V?! Is this some stupid peer pressure thing?! Getting soul-sucked HURTS! It hurts worse than DYING! And you WANT to do it to prove some twisted point that you've invented in your mind?! If we were all thrown off a bridge, would you want to be thrown, too?! If you want to be pure, it's working, because you're being a pure IDIOT! DON'T BE LIKE THIS, MINAKO, HAVE SOME SENSE OF GODDAMN PROPORTION!!!"
Usagi: /releases Mina and gasps for breath.
Mina: /digs herself out from under the pile of plushies that the crane machine spat out during the hammering.
Mina: /can't quite believe Usagi did that.
Usagi: /neither can Usagi.



Walking Home
Luna: "Usagi's got a pure love for Mamoru, true, but she also has a pure love for eating and sleeping, and a pure hate for studying, so if that's what they're calling a pure heart, than any idiot off the street qualifies."
Usagi: "Yeah! …HEY."
Artemis: "You're a complicated, interesting person, Mina! Isn't that better than letting them define 'purity', anyway?"
Mina: "Dude, everyone stop following me like I have a deathwish!"
Luna: "With all your killer glares, it's more like we're worried you're going to suddenly turn to supervillainy or something."
Mina: /suddenly serious. "Usagi. I have a favor to ask."
Usagi: /gulp.

Dramatic pause.

Mina: "Will you take half of the pile of plushies?"
Usagi: "What? No. Hell, no."
Mina: "It was your battering that made them come out!"
Usagi: "It was on your quarter! And don't try to change the subject!"
Mina: "All right, but I don't know what I'm going to do with all of these." /wanders off.
Usagi: "Maybe we should place her under deathwatch surveillance."
Luna: "I don't know. Mina's our rock; she'd never do anything too irrational."
Artemis: "Did you even read my reports, Luna?"



A Nearby Bookshop
Minako picks up a conveniently placed Guide to Pure Hearts, from Ackbar's Publishing Ltd.

Minako: "Hmm. It says here that a truly pure-hearted person focuses on one thing at a time. Well, hell, that describes Usagi to a T."
Minako's Brain: "Hey, wait a minute, Mina. You're going to use Usagi as a model for your behavior? Is that wise?"
Minako: "Usagi is the kindest, happiest, most balanced person I know. If the quality of one's relationships if the measure of success in life, she's also the most successful person I know. Why shouldn't I use her as a model?"
Minako's Brain: "I can't find a fault in that argument, but I just know there is one. Let's try a gut check."
Minako: "Fair enough. Whaddaya say, gut?"
Minako's Gut: "I think it sounds like fun! I'm hungry!"
Minako: "Then it's decided!"

Suddenly! Minako realizes that Haruka and Michiru are standing right across the aisle from her. They make eye contact. The two older girls note that Mina is talking to herself while reading a suspiciously-relevent book. A blown newspaper passes between them.

Mina: "HEY YOU!"
Haruka and Michiru: ?!
Mina: "So what do you think defines a pure hearted person?"
Haruka and Michiru: (Oh, crap, she knows!)
Haruka: "…Er… um… someone who… does things for the good of others?"
Michiru: /smiles and nods.
Mina: "RIGHT!"

At that precise moment, a blood drive truck passes by.

Mina: "DUTY CALLS!"

EXIT Mina, dramatically!

Haruka: "…I have the feeling I should have chosen my words more carefully."
Michiru: "At least it seems that she doesn't know—"
INTERRUPTING MINA!: "Oh, by the way, take these dolls, as tokens of my thanks!"

EXIT Mina, dramatically!

Michiru: "…Are we sure that wasn't Usagi with her hair down?"
Haruka: "Twin-Tails doesn't have that insane energy."



Meanwhile, Back in the Lab
Eudial (via telephone): "Look, I'll forgive you for the broken phone if you listen to my advice just this once."
The Professor: "Okay, shoot."
Eudial (via telephone): "All these theme monsters are cute, sure, but you just know the Sailors are gonna blow 'em away."
The Professor: "THEY HAVE NO APPRECIATION FOR ART!"
Eudial (via telephone): "Yes, they do, so why not base your monster on something related to the problem? You want to show them art? Gimme a monster that'll mess up the way the Sailors operate!"
The Professor: "Curse those Sailors! I hate them SO MUCH!"
Eudial (via telephone): "Yeah! That's the way, Prof! Go get 'em!"
The Professor: "Bwahahahahaha! I'll show them GENIUS!"
Eudial (via telephone): "And make this one capable of holding on a conversation for once! I keep feeling like I'm some dopey Pokémon trainer…"
The Professor: "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The Professor rages about the lab, and finally in a fit of maniacal frenzy, pries his own door off its hinges and tries to cram it into the converter. Finally, he just saws off the lock mechanism, hurls it in, and cranks up to full power.



Some Days Later
Mamoru: "Let me get this straight: Minako wants to get attacked for having a pure heart, not as part of a calculated decoy operation, but instead to prove she's not 'impure', whatever that means."
Usagi: "Right."
Mamoru: "I'm so glad I'm not whatever age you guys are anymore. So she's picked blood drives as her pure obsession? How the heck did she pick that?"
Usagi: "God knows. She lies about her age to get in, forges a signature, hits multiple places in a day, every day… Mamoru, that's not healthy!"
Mamoru: "No kidding! …Are you sure this isn't some extended con game on her part?"
Usagi: "If it is, she's fooling even herself this time. She won't let us talk her out of it, and it's not like we can restrain her. Ami only owns one pair of cuffs, and Mina can pick them."
Mamoru: "Damn. Well, she's young and healthy, so she can recover… I think all you can do is make sure she eats well and rests, and be there to pick her up if she keels over."
Usagi: "…Yeah."
Mamoru: "What do you think, a vampire daimon in a nurse's outfit?"
Usagi: "You wish. Too appealing. It'll be a sapient blood bag with stand and phlebotomy needle."
Mamoru: "Or, no, an anthropomorphized ambulance! It'll spray blood on us."
Usagi: "I'll get tangled up in a pile of giant red blood cells. Ugh, they're going to be all sticky…"
Mamoru: "Hmm. It'll be tricky to come up with a speech about pure maiden's blood that doesn't sound creepy…"
Usagi: "I have faith in you."

Artemis: "What I want to know is does this latest idiocy of hers really count as 'pure'?"
Mako: "It better, or this is going to end in a bad place."
Rei: "Well, even if she's not running this as a decoy op, we should. Draw up a watch schedule, Ami."
Ami: "On it."



And So…
Usagi: "Here ya go, V, vitamin drinks and liver sandwiches."
Mina: "Thank you for enabling my poor decisions. Is it working?"
Usagi: "Well, Haruka and Michiru have been stalking you since Monday, so, maybe?"
Mina: "Which direction are they in? Should I wave?"
Usagi: "Maybe you should lie down, I think you're getting light-headed."
Mina: "Really? How can you tell?"



Suddenly!
Eudial drives by, and her dashboard PKE-meter jumps off the scale.

Eudial: "Aha! Hey, blondie!" /draws her Dark Star Suction Rifle.
Mina: /weeps tears of joy. "YES?"

BLAM!

Mina: /looks at her soul crystal, floating in front of her.
Mina: /giggles. "Lookit! Usagi, lookit! I got one!"
Usagi: "…Yes, dear, now put it back in, and—"
Mina: /giggles maniacally.
Usagi: "…"
Mina: /grabs the crystal and runs away. "…my precioussssss…"
Everyone else: :eek:
Luna: /facepaw.
Eudial: "IMPOSSIBLE!" /floors it and drives after Mina.
Usagi: "DAMMIT V!" /sprints after Eudial.
The Sailors: /charge after Usagi… and promptly trip over V's discarded energy drink bottles. "DAMMIT V!"



A Conveniently Deserted Parking Garage
Minako runs in and promptly collapses. Eudial drives in behind her and parks.

Minako: "…preciousssssss…" /thud.
Eudial: "…what the hell was that? It's like she was purely obsessed with having a soul crystal or something."
Eudial: /shrugs. "Oh, well! No time to find explanations, I've got Science! to do." /reaches for the soul crystal.
Usagi: /bursts in, dramatically. "HALT!"
Eudial: /reflexively slaps the Daimon beeper.
Eudial: "…Whoops, it's just some dumb kid. Oh, well."



Monster of the Week!
Doorknobder! With a dramatic, snarling entrance, she appears: a pale-skinned elf-eared Daimon in leather cutoffs and spiky-knee boots, and a variety of hardware pierced into a variety of places. In her left hand she bears a steel door as a shield; in her right hand, a tremendous Swiss Army knife, with every variety of opening tool known to humankind. Her teeth are filed, her smile impish, her stance confident.



Eudial: "Doorknobder! Go lock up!"
Doorknobder: "I WILL LOCK UP!"

Every single entrance to this room is sealed by a metal barrier, and we do mean every: from the doors and stairwells to the smallest ventilation grates. This leaves the concrete chamber with no hiding places and no way to retreat.

ENTER Haruka and Michiru, scrambling ignominiously to avoid getting squashed or trapped by the barrier on the entrance ramp as it closes.

Michiru: "…Ha ha! We are but simple passers-by. Pay us no heed, as we take our car and depart."
Eudial: /drily. "Y'know, if you didn't stick your nose into other people's business, you'd live longer."
Haruka and Usagi: /eye each other nervously, daring the other to go first.
Eudial: /goes to pick up Minako's Soul Crystal.
Usagi: "Awwwwwww, hell's bells. So much for secrecy. EVERYBODY GET A GOOD LOOK!"




STARKLY CORUSCANT TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE COUNTER
  • Usagi into:
    • Sailor Moon: 43
    • Second Stage Sailor Moon: 30
    • Cosmic Class Sailor Moon: 14
    • Princess Serenity: 1
    • Disguise: 9
  • Ami into:
    • Sailor Mecury: 15
    • Second Stage Sailor Mercury: 15
  • Rei into:
    • Sailor Mars: 13
    • Second Stage Sailor Mars: 15
  • Makoto into:
    • Sailor Jupiter: 8
    • Second Stage Sailor Jupiter: 15
  • Minako into:
    • Sailor Venus: 7
    • Second Stage Sailor Venus: 16
  • Haruka into:
    • Sailor Uranus: 3
  • Michiru into:
    • Sailor Neptune: 3
  • Mamoru into:
    • Tuxedo Mask: 2
    • Second Stage Tuxedo Mask: 1
  • Chibi-Usa into:
    • Sailor Chibi-Moon: 2
  • Luna-P into something-or-other: 10



Battle is Joined!
Usagi: "In the name of the Moon, return that girl's soul at once, for I am SAILOR MOON!"
Haruka: "AHA! I knew it! I mean, uh, gosh, it's Sailor Moon! I had no idea!"
Michiru: "Haruka, how dare you look at another girl's transformation sequence!"
Eudial: /shrugs. "Doorknobder, kill her."
Doorknobder: "Bwuh?"
Eudial: "…Don't 'bwuh' me! Kill her!"
Doorknobder: "But—"
Eudial: "What 'but'? No 'but'! Kill! With the magic powers! Her! In the skirt! That's what attack powers are for, you twit!"
Doorknobder: "But I don't have any attack powers! I'm a door monster! I open and close, I don't… I mean… I'm designed to protect and assist not to, to—"
Eudial: "Gods above and below, did I ask for a daimon capable of making excuses?"
Doorknobder: /starting to weep a little. "Y-yes! You told the Professor you wanted a specialized daimon who could carry on a conversation! …Don't look at me like that, it's true!"
Eudial: "…Go over there and slam in her face or something, or I'm going to get ANGRY!"
Doorknobder: "Yes, Mistress."

Doorknobder attacks Usagi reluctantly!
Usagi is hit!
Usagi is hurt!
Usagi falls down!
Doorknobder experiences mild emotional discomfort!


Doorknobder: "Sorry! Sorry!"

Doorknobder attacks Usagi reluctantly!
Usagi is hit!
Usagi is hurt!
Doorknobder frets apologetically.


Eudial: "Right, let's get this crystal without any more distract—"

MICHIRU > THROW > PLUSHIE > EUDIAL
Eudial is hit!
Eudial is inconvenienced!
HARUKA > THROW > PLUSHIE > EUDIAL
Eudial is hit!
Eudial is inconvenienced!
SYNERGY EFFECT!
Eudial is hurt!


Eudial: "—ions. Oh, for the love of… Hey, Door-thingy! Kill these two first!"
Doorknobder: "…But she's a magical girl, and they only have plushies!"
Michiru: /brandishes plushies like nunchucks.
Eudial: "DANGEROUS plushies! Who is the mistress here?"
Doorknobder: "Okay, okay…" /leaves Usagi, and runs up to Michiru and Haruka.

In a dazzling display of martial arts hilarity, Michiru and Haruka defeat an animate door using nothing but fisticuffs and cheap plushies.

Doorknobder: /look, Raoul, STARS!
Michiru: "The door's not a problem, but I'm getting irritated with her trainer."
Eudial: "This is NOT Pokémon!"




STARKLY CORUSCANT TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE COUNTER
  • Usagi into:
    • Sailor Moon: 43
    • Second Stage Sailor Moon: 30
    • Cosmic Class Sailor Moon: 14
    • Princess Serenity: 1
    • Disguise: 9
  • Ami into:
    • Sailor Mecury: 15
    • Second Stage Sailor Mercury: 15
  • Rei into:
    • Sailor Mars: 13
    • Second Stage Sailor Mars: 15
  • Makoto into:
    • Sailor Jupiter: 8
    • Second Stage Sailor Jupiter: 15
  • Minako into:
    • Sailor Venus: 7
    • Second Stage Sailor Venus: 16
  • Haruka into:
    • Sailor Uranus: 4
  • Michiru into:
    • Sailor Neptune: 4
  • Mamoru into:
    • Tuxedo Mask: 2
    • Second Stage Tuxedo Mask: 1
  • Chibi-Usa into:
    • Sailor Chibi-Moon: 2
  • Luna-P into something-or-other: 10



Battle Resumes!
Usagi: "Well, it's about time!"
Haruka: "Yeah, I know, we'd all about figured it out by now, hadn't we?"
Eudial: "HOLY SHIT! You guys are Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune?! IMPOSSIBLE!"
Michiru: "Well, some of us had."

HARUKA > ADVANCED RITUALISM > WORLD SHAKING > EUDIAL
Eudial dodges, barely!
Eudial's outfit is damaged.


Michiru: /checks Talisman. "So sorry—"
Usagi: "Don't you DARE!"
Michiru: "—not a Talisman."
Usagi: "Phew!"
Eudial: "Arrrgh! What more can go wrong today?!"

WHAM!

Eudial: "…"
Rei (on the other side of the barrier): "I say we just blast it."
Ami (on the other side of the barrier): "It costs nothing to be polite. Open up if you value your door!"
Eudial: "…You must be joking!"
Ami (on the other side of the barrier): "All right, we warned you! Okay, honey, full power, and don't worry about the spillover.."
Mako (on the other side of the barrier): ""Oh, goodie goodie goodie…"

The metal barrier starts to creak ominously…

Eudial: "Doorknobder! KILL 'EM ALL!"
Doorknobder: /gulps.
Doorknobder: /puts on a brave face.
Doorknobder: "YEEEEEARRRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHH!!!!" /CHARGES!
Michiru: /sticks out foot.
Doorknobder: /trip, crash.
Michiru: "Sailor Moon, now!"
Doorknobder: "W-wait! Shouldn't you get her first? I'm just programmed to help her! She's the real brains!"
Eudial: "You traitor!" /kicks her. Boo, hiss!
Usagi: "Oh, don't be like that, Eudial… I was going to do you anyway! Didn't your mom teach you not to slam doors?"
Doorknobder: "Oh thank you, thank you!"
Usagi: "…Another mouth to feed." /unlimbers her wand.
Eudial: /scrambles to grab a weapon from her car.



USAGI > ADVANCED RITUALISM > MOON SPIRAL HEART ATTACK > EUDIAL
Eudial fastdraws Witches Eudial Firebuster™!
Eudial fires Witches Eudial Firebuster™!
Usagi casts heart at Eudial.
Eudial casts napalm at Usagi.
Heart absorbs napalm!
Napalm deflects heart! The shot goes astray…
Doorknobder is hit!
Doorknobder is obliterated!


Doorknobder: "…lovely!" /dies.
Usagi: :eek:

All her steel barricades are dispelled and vanish. ENTER the other Sailors, quickly.

Rei: "So… ¿what did we miss?"
Eudial: "HAHA! Fear the power of my patented Witches Eudial FIREBUSTER™!"
Usagi: "Doorknobder! No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Rei: "…"
Eudial: "Hey. Pay attention to me. I'm the one with a Witches Eudial FIREBUSTER™!"
Usagi: "Do you really have to shout it's name out every time you use it?"
Eudial: "Of course I do!"
Usagi: "You killed Doorknobder, you bastard! We were going to have a little moé-punk door-bot to play with, and you killed her! …With my heart attack, technically, but…"
Eudial: "Yes! I killed her! And I'd do it again! Now, all of you, stand over there in a nice big group, or I'll blorp the crazy unconscious girl with my special formulation."
Ami: "You just want to do that so you can 'blorp' us. Tactically, we should stall by spreading out, forcing you consider us as individual threats, since you have nothing to gain by killing an innocent girl."
Eudial: "I suppose the answer to that depends on whether you think I'm mad enough to do it in front of you anyway for the lulz and die laughing."

Everyone, muttering, kind of shuffles into a group together.

Eudial: "Heehee! They think I'm crazy."
Makoto: /glances at the Two. "…Why are you here with us? I thought you didn't care. You could've run off."
Haruka: "Well, er, we're not that heartless."
Michiru: "Also, I know something she doesn't know."
Eudial: "What? What don't I know?"
Minako: "THAT I'M AWAKE! WOOHOO!" /whacks Eudial over the head with a plushie.




STARKLY CORUSCANT TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE COUNTER
  • Usagi into:
    • Sailor Moon: 43
    • Second Stage Sailor Moon: 30
    • Cosmic Class Sailor Moon: 14
    • Princess Serenity: 1
    • Disguise: 9
  • Ami into:
    • Sailor Mecury: 15
    • Second Stage Sailor Mercury: 15
  • Rei into:
    • Sailor Mars: 13
    • Second Stage Sailor Mars: 15
  • Makoto into:
    • Sailor Jupiter: 8
    • Second Stage Sailor Jupiter: 15
  • Minako into:
    • Sailor Venus: 7
    • Second Stage Sailor Venus: 17
  • Haruka into:
    • Sailor Uranus: 4
  • Michiru into:
    • Sailor Neptune: 4
  • Mamoru into:
    • Tuxedo Mask: 2
    • Second Stage Tuxedo Mask: 1
  • Chibi-Usa into:
    • Sailor Chibi-Moon: 2
  • Luna-P into something-or-other: 10



Battle Resumes Again!
Eudial: "…IS EVERYONE IN HERE A SAILOR SCOUT?!"
Minako: "No, Eudial. You are the Sailors!"
Eudial: "But that doesn't make any— I don't— GAH! FUCK! DAMMIT SAILOR V!"
Rei: "I love watching it when it's not us."
Ami: "I'm spreading out now. I'm standing over here, out of the burst radius."
Michiru: "Me too."
Eudial: "I see it all now! You were faking the entire time, just to draw me into your trap! This was all one of your sneaky tricks, wasn't it, Sailor Venus?! "
Minako: "…"
Minako: "Yes. Yes, it was."

MINAKO > AGGRESS > LOVE-ME CHAIN > EUDIAL
Minako wallops Eudial with her lovely chain.
Eudial is disarmed!
The Witches Eudial Fire Buster™ is destroyed!


Minako: "Taste my sweet, sweet purity!" /hauls back for another chain lashing.
Usagi: "EVERYONE GET HER!"
Eudial: /dives into her car moments ahead of the mob.
Eudial: /shouts out the window. "BUT I SAW YOUR SECRET IDENTITIES!"

EXIT Eudial, desperately, with tires screaming.

Ami: "But I got your license number. Heh heh heh." /pockets notepad.



Aftermath
Haruka and Michiru: /immediately turn around to leave.
Usagi: "Wait wait wait wait wait. Wait. Now that our identities have been releaved to each other—"
Rei: "¿What? ¿Since when?"
Minako: helpfully. "Haruka is Uranus and Michiru is Neptune."
Ami: /slaps forehead.
Makoto: "Whoa!"
Usagi: "Anyway, since our paths keep crossing, how 'bout we do the rational thing and sit down and get on the same page regarding this whole Talisman business? Even if we can't team up, maybe we can lay out some boundaries 'n' stuff?"
Michiru: "Nah, we've gotta angst about it until at least next episode."
Usagi: "…Well, fine then! Be that way!"
Haruka: "And you can have your plushies back." /tosses them back.
Usagi: "They're not my plushies!"

EXIT Haruka and Michiru, angstily, in a swirl of rose petals.



Denouement
Haruka and Michiru watch the stars over the sea.

Haruka: "If we're not even going to talk to them, why did we bother helping them?"
Michiru: "Because it's COMPLICATED."



The other Sailors walk home.

Ami: "Was it really one of your sneaky tricks?"
Minako: "What? No, of course not. No one gets themselves shot intentionally. That would be crazy!"
Minako: "…Or very, very stupid."
Makoto: /friendly slap on back. "But it's a pure stupid."
Minako: "Oh, very evidently. So what was I like when I was soulless? I don't remember. I mean, my true obsession was releaved, right?"
Usagi: "Yes, and we discovered that deep down you're just as horrible as we'd always suspected."
Minako: "…What do you mean 'horrible'? What did I do?"
Rei: "I couldn't believe she'd do that, you know. I mean, I always wondered, but—"
Artemis: "You'd think she'd know better."
Makoto: "It was quite surprising."
Minako: "You're putting me on, I know. Come on, seriously, between friends, what did I do?"
Artemis: "She doesn't remember how she got into that carpark. Interesting."
Usagi: "It's a wonder she didn't hurt herself, considering what she did."
Ami: "I think it was the way she talked that was the most—"
Minako: "I'm sorry about all the other stuff. Tell me, what did I do-hoo-hoo-hoooooo?!" :(
Luna: "Don't worry, dear, it was pure you, all the way."



Meanwhile:
Mamoru: "Hey! What about my speech?"
 

Talitha the Little Girl

Registered User
Validated User
Re: Episode #109: A Time of Shock! True Identities Releaved to One Another!

Boy, what an episode!

Let's recap:

Eudial: discovers the identities of all (almost) Sailor Senshi.
The Professor: got a bill for a new telephone.
Sailor Senshi: the cat's out of the bag! They no longer have to pretend around each other!
Minako: got blasted, pure heart stolen, and she gets to act like Gollum! Also, got stuck inside a toy machine.
Yamandakka: lost a potential friend in Doorknobder, the poor thing. :(
 
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