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[IWIW] Walkin' on Sailor Moon (thread 3 of a continuing series)

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Q99

Genderpunk
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Re: Sailor Moon R Episode #52: Targeted Kindergarten Kids! Venus' [sic] Great Perform

Heh. "Just happening by! What's going on?"
Could one tell the difference between "Moon's transformed to fight a monster!" and "Moon's transformed because she got something stuck in a tree and wanted to tiara it down!" from their mysterious 'locate tranformed scout' sense? :)
 

Shadowjack

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Re: Sailor Moon R Episode #52: Targeted Kindergarten Kids! Venus' [sic] Great Perform

Could one tell the difference between "Moon's transformed to fight a monster!" and "Moon's transformed because she got something stuck in a tree and wanted to tiara it down!" from their mysterious 'locate tranformed scout' sense? :)
Rei probably could, come to think of it.

Rei: (via Gizmophone) "SAILOR MOON WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Usagi: "Nothing!"
 

Blazing Bat

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Re: Sailor Moon R Episode #52: Targeted Kindergarten Kids! Venus' [sic] Great Perform

Rei probably could, come to think of it.

Rei: (via Gizmophone) "SAILOR MOON WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Usagi: "Nothing!"
Tuxedo Mask also only shows up when she's in danger.
 

Peter Svensson

Reads Too Many Comics
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Re: Sailor Moon R Episode #52: Targeted Kindergarten Kids! Venus' [sic] Great Perform

Tuxedo Mask also only shows up when she's in danger.
But she's always transformed when she's in danger...

* +3 Blessed Throwing Rose strikes*
TM: Sailormoon! Do you need my help... signing autographs.... I'm uh... look over there!
 

Shadowjack

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Sailor Moon R Episode #53: Mamoru and Usagi's Babysitting Mayhem

LET'S NOT WASTE TIME
En: "You know… babies are full of strong, fresh energy."
Ali: "YES! We've sunk to this, folks! We're gonna endanger babies!"



PICK A CARD, ANY CARD!
Amaderasu… a blue-skinned dancer clad in the sun's colors.

Let us feel some pity for Amaterasu's younger sister, who wasn't cool enough to gain the worship of an entire nation, but instead must bother babies for a couple of renegade space-elves.



BY A TYPICAL COINCIDENCE
A young mother and her redheaded child, Manami, are departing the Juban Daycare Center.

Mom: "Say 'Bye-Bye' to the teacher, Manami!"
Manami: "plxtb."
Usagi /just happening by. "Awww! Kewt widdle babby."
Ami /also just happening by. "What's her name?"
Mom: "Manami, and actually—"

Suddenly! Out of a blazing second sun comes Amaderasu.

Amaderasu /unleashes squillions of blue filaments that touch everyone in the daycare center grounds and drain them dry.
Amaderasu: "MUAHAHAHA!"
{Amaderasu has left the scene.}
Ami /is not technically on the daycare center grounds, and so is just outside the radius of effect. "GREAT SCOTT! Another Cardian?!"
Usagi /ditto. "W-W-WHAT DO WE DO?!"
Mamoru /just happening by. "CALL AN AMBULANCE FOR CHRISSAKE!"
Ami: "Right! Duh! Gizmophone, where's the—?!" /scrabbles in her bag.



ELSEWHERE
Ali: "FUCK YEAH, kicking babies!"
En: "Let's do it AGAIN!"
Ali: "But we've gotta be careful. Don't know when those 'Sailors' will show up again to ruin our sick and twisted fun."
En: "I think for the next one we should snort cocaine off of the babies belly's, and then drain them of their energy."



ONE FRANTIC AMBULANCE MONTAGE LATER: AZABU GENERAL HOSPITAL
Police Detective Not-Appearing-In-This-Film: "…and we'd like to thank you, kids, again for your help. These weird incidents don't get a lot of clear eye-witnesses."
Mamoru: "You're quite welcome, officer."
Detective 'Film: "First schoolkids, now this… if this keeps up, we're going to have to put guards at every maternity ward in the district. Without the Sailor Senshi helping out, I don't know what we'd do."
Ami: "I'm surprised to hear an officer of the law admit it!"
Detective 'Film: "I won't tell the Chief if you won't. Anyway, I'm worried about this kid."
Usagi: "They're going to be okay, aren't they?"
Detective 'Film: "Well, they've turned over an whole ICU to this incident, as you can see. But the doctors think, from the past incidents, that they'll make a full recovery—the babies in a week, give or take, and the adults in about three days."
Ami: "But Manami here looks fine!"
Usagi: "I bet it's because her mom collapsed on top of her, shielding her."
Detective 'Film: "Ah, so you know the kid's name! Good, we were trying to find friends or family—the father is out of the country on a business trip, and there are no close relatives. I'd take care of the kid myself, but I mostly live on cigarettes and bad memories, so—"
Mamoru /stands up to the challenge. "I will take care of the baby."
Detective 'Film: "You're a friend of the family?"
Mamoru: "…Sure."
Usagi: "Yes, he is. He totally is. We all are."
Detective 'Film: "Great! Saves me paperwork. Sign here… and here. Okay, see you in a couple of days, kid."
{Detective Not-Appearing-In-This-Film has left the scene.}

Manami /drops 'blug' and starts crying.
Ami: "Are you sure, Mamoru? Caring for a baby is hard work. They have emotions, but they can't adequately express them…"
Usagi /gives Manami back the pacifier. "Didn't you see Look Who's Talking?"
Manami /spits out pacifier.
Ami: "Yes, and I'm sorry I did. Some conceits simply aren't worth committing to celluloid, let alone making sequels. We shall talk no more of such things."
Usagi /gives Manami back the pacifier. "Speaking of the unnameable, how'd you know to call that monster a 'Cardien'?"
Manami /spits out pacifier.
Ami: "I overheard those elves arguing about it a couple of incidents ago, okay? Look, Mamoru—"
Mamoru: "I think I can handle—"
Usagi: "I'll help. Two make it easier than one, right? We can tag-team. And this little girl's gonna need all the help she can, won't you? Yes she will. Yes she will!"
Mamoru: "I… can't… adequately frame an objection to that."
Manami /spits out pacifier.
Usagi: "Then it's settled. Ami, you want in on this? Three heads are better than two."
Ami: "I think I'll pass. I don't want to get in your way." ;)
Usagi: "…What? Oh. Oh!" :eek: /honestly hadn't thought of that angle.



MAMORU'S PLACE
Usagi: "Nice digs."
Mamoru: "WHO'S A FUNNY GIRL? WHO'S A FUNNY GIRL?" :p
Usagi: "B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-rrp? Brrrp?" :p
Manami /finally stops crying. "Grklp!" :)
Mamoru: "Speaking of funny girls—"
Usagi: "Har har."
Mamoru /bouncing Manami on his knee. "I think I've got it under control here. You can go home now. I volunteered for this, after all, and I don't want to make trouble for you."
Usagi: "You know, if we take her to my place, my folks can help."
Mamoru: "Oh, have pity on your poor mother."
Usagi /grrrr. "…So, is this the first girl you've brought up here?"
Mamoru: "Don't listen to her, Manami, she's just jealous."
Usagi /sits very close to Mamoru. "Why would I be jealous? Isn't this cozy?" /lean.
Mamoru /glare. "What are you doing?"
Usagi /stands up again, quickly. "Sheeeeesh."

Manami /starts crying.
Usagi: "Uh-oh."
Mamoru: "Probably hungry. I'll—"
Usagi: "Baby formula, in the bag! Off to the kitchen! Usagi has got it under control!"

Several minutes pass, with progressively worse noises coming from the kitchen. After the fire alarm goes off…

Mamoru: "Do you want help?"
Usagi: "No! No! I finally got it. Kitchens are not my friend. Here we go, hungry girl, drink up!" /appropriates Manami and applies bottle. "She's not drinking."
Mamoru: "Could be the milk is too hot."
Usagi /sucks on the bottle.
Mamoru: "Um…"
Usagi: "Tastes fine to me. If she won't eat… OMG SHE'S SICK! WE'VE SCREWED UP AND SHE'S GONNA DIE AND THE MOTHER WILL KILL US! SHE'S GOT THE POX THE PLAGUE THE—"
Mamoru: "Did you check the diaper?" /takes back Manami and checks. "Ayup. There are disposables in the—"
Usagi: "One side, chum!" /starts to work. "This is no job for a— BOY?!"
Mamoru: "What? Oh, hey, she's not a girl, he's a boy."
Usagi: "But Manami's a boy's name, isn't it?"
Mamoru: "Hey, I don't know from Japanese names. Maybe it's a family tradition, or one of those names that used to be another gender? And, a-one, a-two… one diaper changed, successfully."
Usagi: "…Annnnnd he's crying again."
Mamoru: "Try feeding him now."
Usagi /tries. "Hey. What do you know?"
Mamoru: "One hungry little camper."
Usagi: "You're pretty good at this. Do you have kids?"
Mamoru: "WHAT."
Usagi: "I mean— arrrrrrrgh. What I meant to say—"
Mamoru: "Let's change the subject."

A few minutes of goofing around with trying to teach the kid words, or teach it to walk, and arguing with each other over whether or not it's too early or the other is doing it wrong, finally ends with Usagi departing the apartment in a huff.



ONE HUFF LATER
Usagi: "THAT ARROGANT S.O.B.—ALWAYS GOT TO PUT IN HIS OAR! ARRRRRRRGH. Arrrrrrrrgh. Bleh."
Usagi /sits on a bridge and ponders. "…I wonder if we're fundamentally incompatible? Awwwww emotions suck."



MORNING THE NEXT DAY
Luna /wakes up. "Whoa. Usagi's already awake… and gone… on a Sunday." /checks ground for signs of frigid Hells. "Ground seems normal." /looks out window. "No aerial pork products." /checks pulse, temperature, and vision. "I seem to be in good health. …She must be up to something, I guess."

CUT TO:
Mamoru and Usagi on a shopping expedition for baby supplies, with Manami in the stroller.
Usagi /pushing. "Did we get enough?"
Mamoru /carrying. "It's only two days…"
En, as 'Natsumi' /spies them from around a corner. "ZOMG THEY'RE TOGETHER?! With a child already?! Jeez, Earthlings breed fast! Defeated by alien biology! BUT I SHALL HAVE MY REV—"
Mina /just happens by. "Whoa! Usagi's got a baby. When did you let him get you preggers? That was quick."
Usagi /UTTERLY APPALLED.
Mako /just happens by. "Whoa-ho! Ah, the tragedy of teen motherhood."
Usagi: "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP."
Ami /just happens by. "I know their joking is a little off-color, but such blushing, Usagi."
Mina: "Let's see, one-and-a-half days— divided by nine months— that means, you must have done it—"
Ami: "It, uh, doesn't work like that."
Mina: "It doesn't?"
Usagi: "SHUT UUUUUUP!"
Mamoru /is eyeing the three new girls nervously, wondering if they're also going to start fighting over him…
Ami /is serious business. "Usagi."
Usagi: "Yes?"
Ami: "We're meeting at Rei's place later—team business. You'll be able to—?"
Usagi: "I'll be there."
Mamoru /?
Usagi: "Ultimate Frisbee. League trials next month."
En /was eavesdropping on the entire conversation.



THE TEMPLE
Rei consults the flames, and summons up an image of the fiend—which Usagi and Ami confirm.

Rei: "I see a card… the tarot card, the Sun… which is associated with happiness and love in marriages or engagements."
Ami: (mutters) "Not in the traditional deck, it isn't."
Mako /shhhh.
Rei: "Reversed, it means trouble in the same."
Mina: "I wonder which applies to Mamoru and you!"
Usagi /blushing. "Come on! Our relationship hasn't gone that far yet!"
Mako: "Oh? 'Just friends' forever?"
Usagi: "Oh, jeez, I hope not."
Mako: "Well then?"
Usagi: "I think I liked it better when my crush was a secret from you guys."
Ami: "Wasn't that secret!"
Rei /is trying to concentrate thank you very much.
Usagi: "I think I'm going to go check on the baby…"
Rei: "¡SUCCESS!"
All /?
Rei: "I have now memorized this aura, and shall be able to track it at will, an it return."



MAMORU'S PLACE
Mamoru is mixing baby formula with the precision of someone who's taken chemistry classes, and knows he doesn't know what he's doing. Meanwhile, Manami is having the best time in the world: emptying out a kleenex box, sheet by sheet. The animators display the same eye for the pastimes of little kids that they do for cats. For an encore, maybe he will eat a sheet of newspaper, or bang something against the floor loudly!

Knock knock.
Mamoru /shouts. "JUST COME RIGHT IN!"
En, as 'Natsumi': "Hello hello! I heard all about it, and decide to drop by to help you out. If there's anything I can do…"
Mamoru /uh-oh.
En /picks up baby.
Manami: :eek: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
En: "Eh-heh. Aren't you cute?"
Manami: "—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
En /am I holding him wrong? tries various angles.
Manami: "—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
En: :mad: "STOP CRYING."
Manami: "—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Mamoru: "Check the diaper!"

We're working our way methodically through the horrible baby hazards—Manami pisses right into En's face. Mamoru is nearly bowled over by En as she bolts for the bathroom. Eventually…

En /toweling off. "Right, um, Mamoru-sama! If you have anything else I can do. I can stay as long as you need me to." /picks up baby.
Mamoru: "Well—"
Manami /does it again.
En: "…"
Mamoru /trying to keep a straight face.
Usagi /walks in. "G'day, Mamoru, I—"
En /decides to escape while she still has some dignity remaining.
Usagi /?!
En /storms out past Usagi.
Usagi /stares at Mamoru.
Mamoru /suddenly feels guilty for some reason. Like he's broken a promise. He can't explain it, but it's there.

Usagi: "I… I guess it doesn't matter who takes care of the baby, huh?" /turns to go.
Mamoru /without thinking, runs forward, grabs her hand. "Wait! Wait!"
Usagi: "Lemme go!"
Mamoru: "No, let me explain, please, Natsumi had just walked in— I thought she was you—"
Usagi: "Lemme go!"
Mamoru /lets go. "Why are you so angry?!"
Usagi: "I don't like a guy who doesn't understand a girl's feelings!"
Mamoru: "So go bother a psychic!"
Usagi: "Bother—?! Y—" /suddenly stops and stares.
Usagi /points. "Look!"

Manami is standing up! They hold their breath…

Manami /takes one step.
Manami /takes another.
Manami /takes a few more steps…
Manami /…and plops himself down by the kleenex box.
Manami /resumes making a mess.

Usagi and Mamoru /dance with joy!
Ami /just happens by. "Knock knock! Door was open. …Did I catch you at a bad time?" :)
Usagi and Mamoru /er, um, blush, separate, retreat.
Mamoru: "He walked for the first time! Here, show auntie, um—"
Ami: "Ami."
Mamoru: "—Ami. Come on!"
Ami: "Usagi—Rei get signal."
Usagi: "Frell. Mamoru, sorry, but I gotta go."
Mamoru /?



ANOTHER DAYCARE NEARBY
Monster manifests, everyone stares in shock, monster cackles—

Suddenly! Rei flies in, dramatically.
Rei: "¡Freeze, sucker! ¡We are the terrors who trip in the night! ¡We are the badly-designed crib through whose sides the head of Injustice can get stuck! ¡We are the Sailor Senshi!"
Mako: "And you don't deserve to belong in this world, baby-botherer!"
<< Minako : Cast > Crescent : Amaderasu >>
< Miss. >
Mako: "You were supposed to say the next line."
Mina: "Sorry! Saw opening, got excited."

Amaderasu /unleashes thousands of red force bubbles.
Amaderasu /the bubbles surround the children and childcare workers.
Amaderasu /pulls the bubbles into orbit around itself.
< Amaderasu has activated Baby Shield! >
Rei: "¿What the—? Buh… you… ¡Chinga tu madre!"
<< Amaderasu casts Heatstroke Cannon! >>
< Rei is down! >
< Minako is down! >
< Makoto is down! >
Enter Usagi and Ami.
Usagi /!
Ami /!!!



STARKLY CORUSCANT TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE COUNTER
Usagi into Second-Stage Sailor Moon: 3
Usagi into Sailor Moon: 43
Usagi into Princess Serenity: 1
Usagi into Disguise Form: 9
Ami into Sailor Mercury: 13
Rei into Sailor Mars: 11
Makoto into Sailor Jupiter: 5
Minako into Sailor Venus: 5
Mamoru into Tuxedo Mask: 2



BATTLE IS JOINED!
Ami: "YOU DAUGHTER OF—"
<< Amaderasu casts Heatstroke Cannon! >>
< Usagi saves! Takes half damage. >
< Ami saves! Takes half damage. >
<< Amaderasu casts Suction Filament! >>
Usagi /WTF
Ami: "…filaments… draining… our… strength…"

Suddenly! Enter Moonlight Knight, dramatically, armed with +3 blessed throwing roses.
Moonlight Knight /aims for the eyes, Boo.
Amaderasu: "ACK!"
Moonlight Knight /waves a rose, and dispells all magics in the area.
Moonlight Knight: "Sundays are supposed to be quiet times to spend quality time with our families… and I had more to say, but, really, attacking babies? I think you ladies know what to do."
Usagi: "That's ri—"
Ami: "BLOOD AND SOULS FOR MY LORD MERCURY!"
<< Ami : Cast > Ice Spray : Amaderasu >>
< Amaderasu is encased in ice! >>
Usagi: "Whoa! Mercury, you cast an attack spell! That's great!"
Ami: "FRAG THE BITCH BEFORE THE ICE MELTS, MOON!"
Usagi: "Right! Right! Get psyched, get psyched—"
<< Usagi : Cast > Halation : Amaderasu >>
< Amaderasu is eliminated! Hostages freed. >
Amaderasu: "CLEA—!"
Ami /stomps on the broken card and grinds it into dust with her booted heel.
<< Ami has levelled up! >>
<< Ami has mastered Ice Spray. >>
<< Usagi has levelled up! >>
Usagi: "Mercury! That was—" /runs over to hug.
Ami /still shaking with rage.
Usagi /decides to wait a minute.



AFTERMATH
The childcare workers have their work cut for them to calm down all the terrified kids.

Usagi: "I guess the Moonlight Knight is a decent guy after all. A million screaming kids can't be wrong! You okay?"
Ami /deep breath, let it all out. "Phew! Yeah. Whoa. Gotta sit down. That got my blood boiling."
Usagi: "I could tell!" :)
Ami: :eek:
Usagi: "Help me wake up the others?"
Ami: "Yeah, yeah, sure, sure."
Usagi: "I guess all you needed was to get angry enough!"
Ami: "…Maybe I am a little repressed…"



DENOUEMENT: OUTSIDE MAMORU'S PLACE
Manami's mom was released a day early. Mamoru and Usagi meet her at the door to hand over the sprat.

Manami's Mom: "Thank you so much! I don't even know your names!"
Mamoru: "Just doing our good deed for the day."
Usagi: "I only wish we could have done more."
Manami's Mom: "Time to say, 'Bye-bye', Manami!"
Manami: "MAMO! USAG'! BAH-BAH!"
Mamoru /!
Usagi /!
Manami's Mom: "Awwwwww. Very good!"
{Manami and Manami's Mom have left the scene.}
Mamoru: "…"
Usagi: "…"
Mamoru and Usagi /dance for joy.
 

Blazing Bat

Registered User
Validated User
Poor Ami, she gets her power up in someone else's focus episode...
By choice, really. I got the impression that she knew exactly what Mamoru and Usagi were getting themselves into, and was smart enough to not get involved, except for some hovering around to poke fun at them.
 
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