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[IWIW] Walkin' on Sailor Moon (thread 3 of a continuing series)

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Fade

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(catching up)

When I saw 'halation' I assumed it had something to do with turning things to salt. Possbily pillars of same.
 

Peter Svensson

Reads Too Many Comics
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They are all named after the seasons BTW. Aki means Autumn, Haru means Spring, and Natsu means summer. Though it's purely an in-joke, as PQ Angels is set in a world where Sailormoon is purely fictional. (A character is seen reading the manga in the first chapter.)
 

Davies

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They are all named after the seasons BTW. Aki means Autumn, Haru means Spring, and Natsu means summer. Though it's purely an in-joke, as PQ Angels is set in a world where Sailormoon is purely fictional. (A character is seen reading the manga in the first chapter.)
If there are Sailor V video games in a world where Sailor V exists, why can't there be Sailor Moon manga in a world where Sailor Moon exists?

Next you'll be telling me that there was never a Sherlock Holmes, that Watson's literary agent made him up.

Chris Davies.
 

Shadowjack

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A rundown on the four Sakurada Sisters, courtesy of my lovely and talented fiancee:

- Sakurada Haruna, much-put-upon middle school teacher and occasional monster target
- Sakurada Natsuna, Superintendent General of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department and Sailor V's Number One Fan
- Sakurada Fuyuna (The Cherry Project), ice-skater and ballerina, moved to America
- Sakurada Akina (PQ Angels), teacher at some other middle school where the magical girls can turn into cockroaches. No, really, I couldn't make this stuff up.
Imagine the family reunions. Natsuna and Fuyuna have the fancy jobs, and Haruna's all, "Well, at least I don't have cockroaches. Pass the antacid."

Cockroaches does raise an eyebrow, but then I remember that Kamen Rider does bug-like helmets, right? Never seen it, but seen some pictures. So bug sentai. Sure. Why not? Bugs. Spiders. Spiders?



…OH GOD. *scurries off to the Crossovers thread*
 

Shadowjack

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Sailor Moon R Episode #54: The Culture Fest is for Me?! Queen Rei Sings With Passion.

ANOTHER DAY AT THE SHRINE
Mako /in shrine maiden garb. "Step right up, ladies, step right up! Hikawa Shrine's amulets are so good—"
Mina /in shrine maiden garb. "How good are they?"
Mako: "They're so good, that no matter how many times my heart has been broken, I found a new boyfriend every single time! That's right! I'm not only the spokeswoman, I'm also a member!"
Mina: "And she's had a lot of bad break-ups, folks, so you know she's put them to the test! Come one, come all!"
Gramps: "…I'm not sure if I communicated the sales pitch clearly. The idea is that the amulets lead to relationships that don't break up."
Mina /is raking in the cash, hand over fist. "What wassat?"
Gramps /confuzzled. "…And yet they're buying them anyway?"
Mina: "One should never underestimate the ability of a woman to delude herself."
Mako: "I heard that!"
Mina: "Look, a decoy!"
Mako: "I won't fall for— Ooo! He's cute! Quick, gimme two, I'll be right back."
Mina: :p
Usagi /just happening by. "…Where's Rei?"
Ami /just happening by. "And when did you two become shrine maidens?"
Gramps: "Rei's heading her school's Cultural Festival Committee, so she's had no time, and these two have been good enough to help an old man out. Wouldn't you two lovely ladies care to join us?"
Usagi: "The uniforms are cool, but I could never memorize all those sutras."
Gramps: "…this is SHINTO."
Mina: "Oh, you failed catechism, too?"
Gramps: "THIS IS SHINTO."



REI'S SCHOOL
There's a huge sign announcing the '93 T&A Culture Festival.

Usagi /backs up, double-checks the sign.
Usagi: "…I like this school!"
Ami: "It's not an &, it's a •."
Usagi: "'T•A', as in Rein•Hagen?"
Ami: "I… don't know. Maybe it's actually 'T.A.'? Like, from the names of the founders?"
Usagi: "'TA'? 'TA Academy'? I is going to ta academy where I learns ta writing and ta maths from ta teachers. It's Engrish for 'teh'!"
Ami: "I am concentrating now on killing you with my mind. Do you feel anything?"
Usagi: "…Hunger?"
Ami: "Ah, so close."
Usagi: "And yet."



INSIDE THE SCHOOL
Rei is in full bossy mode.

Stagehand: "¡Give me one good reason why I should do it that way!"
Rei: "¡I'll give you five good reasons! One, two, three, four, FIVE."
Stagehand: "…¡Those are good reasons!" /scurries off.
Committee Member: "Er… Miss Hino?"
Rei: "¿Que? …¿This again? I thought I explained all this yesterday. You said you understood just fine then, ¿what's the problem now?"
Committee Member: "When you're not around, we don't know what to do."
Rei: "But I'm busy with the stage preps for— ¡Oh, muerte, don't cry! ¡All right! ¡All right! I'll wrap up and help you out in a moment. ¡¿Who left this equipment here?!"
Volunteer #1: "ZOMG she's so awesome."
Volunteer #2: "I know, ¿isn't she just?"
Rei: "¡You! ¡If you have time to lean, you have time to lift! ¡Shift that stuff, pronto!"
Volunteer #1: "¡She talked to me! She talked to me!"
Volunteer #2 /swoons.
Rei: "…There's such a thing as being too popular."
Rei /sits down. "¿Am I the only one here with any initiative? I'm so busy, I could even use the help of cats."
Usagi: "Hello!" /holds up Artemis and Luna.
Rei: "…¿Did you bring the cats all the way out to my school just to deliver that punchline?"
Usagi: "Yep!"
Rei: "…"
Usagi: "Because, after all, the secret to comedy is—"
Rei: "Hi, Ami."
Ami: "We also came to bring you a little something Mako whipped up."
Rei: "Oh, thank you. FOOD. Food is good. It's like nothing around here happens without me to push the button; I'm running ragged playing 'fetch and carry quest.' But first—"
Stagehand #2: "¿Miss Hino? We're ready now."
Ami: "Rehearsal?"
Rei: "My big number."



REHEARSAL…
…ends early when it transpires that the stagetechs aren't very clear on what proper mood lighting is.
Rei: "¡Ack! ¡My eyes! ¡No strobes! ¿What kind of show do you think this is?"
Lighting Tech: "¿Don't all concerts have strobes?"
Rei: "¡No!"
Pyro Tech: "They don't?!"
Rei: "¿What are you doing here, Harry?"
Pyro Tech: "Heh heh." /scurries away.
Rei: "…I can't take this on an empty stomach. Somebody shout lunch."
Somebody: "¡LUNCH!"
They disperse.



LUNCH
Usagi: "I liked your song! What little of it you got through…"
Rei: "¡Thank you! Written, composed, and arranged by yours truly, Miss Rei Hino."
Shadowjack /sighs and writes off an hour spent trying to think of what would be a funny song to replace Rei's with.
Ami: "…"
Usagi: "…"
Rei: "WHAT."
Usagi: "Not that there's anything wrong with this…"
Ami: "…but we get the impression that you think that this entire cultural festival exists to serve as set dressing for your song."
Rei: "Well of course. ¿Why else do you think I'd go to this headache?
Ami: "Aha! Gesamtkunstwerk writ large."
Luna: "Gesundheit."
Artemis: "Oh, thank goodness. This attack of civic responsibility was beginning to worry me."
Usagi: "Yep! There's the selfish ol' Rei we know and love!"
Rei /slow burn.



MEANWHILE, JUST OUTSIDE
Ali and En, sitting in a tree, P-L-O-T-T-N-G.

En: "Because there is no 'I' in our plots."
Ali: "Of course! Always together, are we."
En: "So: cultural festival! Lots of excited people, doing… whatever it is Earthlings do."
Ali: "Watch flowers die and shoot each other with lasers."
En: "Apparently!"
Ali: "Sounds delicious. Why, with this many people here—"
En: "—the whole area should be just exploding with energy!"
Pyro Tech: "Did somebody say 'exploding'?!" :D
Ali /?!
En /?!
BOOM!



A FEW NIGHTS LATER, AT THE SHRINE
Rei: "It's great you guys want to come to the show tomorrow, but Grandpa said he'd be coming, too. ¿Who'll watch the shrine?"
Mako: "Oh, don't worry about that, Yuichiro volunteered."
Rei: "…¿Who?"
Mina: "Yuichiro."
Rei: "Okay, that's a name. ¿Who is—?"
Mako: "Oh, come on, Rei, don't tell me you've forgotten one of the only two guys you've ever dated? Even I'm not that bad."
Rei: "¿What?"
Usagi: "Yuichiro. That guy with the raging crush on you, who joined the shrine, and got involved in that business with the Seven—?"
Rei: "Yeah, but that never happened, ¿remember? ¿So how could I remember?"
Usagi: "Right! Wait…"
Ami: "Uh-uh, Rei, not going to fly. Mina already used up that excuse. "
Mina: "…I said I was sorry." :eek:
Mako: "Yeah, you're stuck with Yuichiro for a little while, anyway."
Rei: "Frell."
Ami: "Like we'd buy it anyway, that a girl could completely forget an entire romance."
Rei: "You're one to talk, Principal Tanzarian."
Ami: "…"
Mina /Subject-Changing Prana. "So! Rei! You wrote that song yourself, did you?"
Ami: "Yes! It must have taken hours."
Rei: "Well…"



RIPPLE DISSOLVE TO SONGWRITING MONTAGE
Rei spent days, possibly weeks. Hours in front of the keyboard, trying to get the melody right. Many sheets of paper thrown out—and she composes in traditional notation, too. Long walks, staying up at night, weeping frustration. It was clearly a lot of effort, that she can be justly proud of.



BACK TO THE PRESENT
Rei: "…oh, it's just a little thing I knocked out on a lunch break. A piece of cake. Nothing major."
Usagi: "…"
Rei: "…"
Usagi: "You're so awesome!"
Rei: "I know."
Artemis: "Is it okay for her to waste her time on this sort of thing?"
Luna: "A warrior should cultivate mind and body."



THE DAY OF THE FESTIVAL
Gramps /oh baby. "Thank God for 'girls only' schools! I knew there was a good reason to send Rei to this school! Many good reasons!"
Usagi: "Yes, and those reasons are yakitori, sweet bean buns, and green tea ice cream, from the food vendors! One side!"
Ami: "Someone roll up his tongue and rein in her enthusiasm. I can't do it, I'm going to check out the science club's reactor demonstration."
Mina: "Don't come back glowing."

Rapid festival montage, in which, among other things, we learn that Mina sucks at golf, and Ami and Rei are…



You know, I have no idea what that's supposed to be. I surmise some sort of couples personality test thing which is a fixture at Japanese carnivals. But whether they're revealed to be utterly incompatible or utterly compatible and whether with each other or with the guys in the foreground or what is beyond me.



BUT OVER THERE, BENEATH A DARKLING TREE
En, as 'Natsumi': "Muahahaha! Talk about a feast!"
Ali, as 'Seijuro': "Let's make our m—"
Some Girl #1: "There he is!"
Ali: "It wasn't me! You can't prove it!"
Some Girl #2: "You're right—he's the perfect man!"
En /!
Some Girl #3: "Quick, measure them!"
Ali /?
En /?

Ali and En are dragged apart and measured with enthusiasm and meticulous attention to detail.

Some Girl #3: "He's PERFECT!"
Some Girl #2: "So's she!"
Some Girl #1: "Right! Bring our 'aliens' along!"
Ali /oh shit
En: "It's a fair cop. But you won't find us easy to—"
Some Girl #1: "Oh, I should probably explain. We're the Fashion Design Club!"
Some Girl #2: "And we kind of waited to the last minute to find models—"
Some Girl #3: "—because for some reason we can never find volunteers…"
Some Girl #1: "This year's theme is 'Aliens From Outer Space.'"
Ali /blank but friendly confusion
En /i wish you were all dead, right now
Some Girl #3: "Oh my! They've got their model faces down perfectly—they're naturals!"



ELSEWHERE IN THE FESTIVAL
P.A.: "Attention! Attention! Now sh-showing in the main audi– the main theater. The STD awareness film will not be shown this week. Instead, we have a special musical performance. 'See the Queen of the Cultural Festival, our very own Rei Hino, bring you thrills and amazement and musical wonder.' Bring your friends, or bring your other friends. This one might actually be good, folks! Thank you."
Mako: "…'Queen'? Does Usagi have competition?" :)
Ami: "I understand it's genuine. From what I've been hearing around, they really wouldn't have gotten this thing off the ground without Rei."
Artemis: "Demonstrated leadership skills! Capital!"
Luna: "I wish someone around here would learn something from Rei's example."
Usagi /thinks…
Usagi /punches Luna in the arm. "¡Luna! ¡You're such a slowpoke! ¡And you have estupido hair!"
Mina: "ZOMG Rei!"
Luna: "…owie."



THE SHOW BEGINS
M.C.: "And now, our opening act—the annual Fashion Design Club's showing! A big hand please for this year's victims, I mean, volunteers."
Someone roughly shoves Ali and En on stage in indescribably hideous outfits. General applause and laughter.
Ali: "I fail to see what's funny about this outfit."
En: "…They're applauding, though."
Ali: "…Lots of energy in this crowd."
En /vamps a little. "You know, this is actually kind of fun. Try it?"
Ali /strikes pose. "Like this? Hey. They like that. How about this?"

Ali and En roll with it. Soon, they're posing and strutting and working the audience enthusiastically, through various strange outfits, and the crowd plays along.

Ami: "Say, aren't those Natsumi and Seijuro?"
Mina: "It is! BWAHAHAHA! Oh, wow. Flaunt it, baby, flaunt it!"
Mako: "Hey, he's kind of cute when he loosens up and drops that 'I'm so handsome and stately' pose."
Usagi: "You want to take him off my hands? Please?"

Ali: "…Say, weren't we here to do something?"
En: "Oh, crap, right. Gotta feed Audrey. Well, we've done a good job of prepping the crowd!"



THE MAIN ACT
Usagi: "Ooooooooh. I've got butterflies."
Ami: "You're not the one on stage."
Usagi: "…and?"

Enter Rei, dramatically, in the sort of awful frilly red skirt that, well, Japanese idol singers often wear. She does the whole idoru routine, with the perky intro, and the swirling music, and the crowd really does go wild for it. It seems Rei has many admirers.

Usagi: "WWWW0000000000000000000000000TTTTTTTT!!!!!!!"
Mina, Mako, and Ami: "…"
Artemis: "Aya! What awful singing."
Luna /kill me KILL ME



PICK A CARD, ANY CARD!
Seiren! A blue mermaid (orca-ish skin pattern) with purple tentacle hair.



ON STAGE
Rei: "I SENSE EVIL."
Siren /bursts in, magically.
Siren /swims through the air and scatters gold dust over the puzzled crowd.
Stagehand: "This wasn't in rehearsals—"
Artemis: "HARD COVER!"
Usagi, Mina, Mako, Ami, Luna, and Artemis /dive under their seats.
Everyone else is knocked out by the dust.
Gramps: "Hey, baby, wanna be a shrine maiden?"
Everyone else is knocked out by the dust.
Gramps /is down, too.
Rei: "You gonna fry, lady."
Siren: "Silence! You are in the presence of octopus royalty! A lowborn thug like you could never defeat me!"
Siren /strangles Rei with tentacle hair.
Usagi /:eek: "REI!"
Ami /restrains her. "Wait for it! Wait for it!"

Ali: "Let us leave the scene, as there is not possibly anything that could go wrong at this point.
En: "Or rather, nothing that we would care to risk ourselves to correct."
{Ali and En have left the scene.}



STARKLY CORUSCANT TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE COUNTER
Usagi into Second-Stage Sailor Moon: 4
Usagi into Sailor Moon: 43
Usagi into Princess Serenity: 1
Usagi into Disguise Form: 9
Ami into Sailor Mercury: 14
Rei into Sailor Mars: 11
Makoto into Sailor Jupiter: 6
Minako into Sailor Venus: 6
Mamoru into Tuxedo Mask: 2

A rare quadruple transform!



BATTLE IS JOINED!
Usagi: "WE HAVE ARRIVED! Right, go!"
Rei /is strangled
Siren: "Here! Over here!"

<< Makoto : Dual-Tech > Ami > WaterArc : Siren >>
< Siren is hurt! >
< Rei is free. >
Siren: "Muscle heads… hate 'em!"
<< Siren uses Tentacle Hair attack! >>
< Makoto is grappled! >
< Ami is grappled! >

<< Usagi : Item > FenixDown : Rei >>
< Rei is restored! >
Mina /moves to support Usagi… "Uh, Moon?"
Luna: "Look out!"
<< Siren uses Tentacle Hair attack! >>
< Minako is grappled! >
< Usagi is grappled! >

<< Energy drain commencing… >>
Mako: "Mercury! Get angry!"
Ami /is strangled
Mako /fffffffffffffffff
Mina /is strangled
Siren: "Havin' fun?"

Rei /gets to her feet.
Luna: "Don't even think about it, you're in no condition to—"



STARKLY CORUSCANT TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE COUNTER
Usagi into Second-Stage Sailor Moon: 4
Usagi into Sailor Moon: 43
Usagi into Princess Serenity: 1
Usagi into Disguise Form: 9
Ami into Sailor Mercury: 14
Rei into Sailor Mars: 12
Makoto into Sailor Jupiter: 6
Minako into Sailor Venus: 6
Mamoru into Tuxedo Mask: 2



REI'S TURN
Rei: "You ruined my concert! IN THE NAME OF MARS, I W—"
Rei /blacks out momentarily.
Luna /!!!
Rei /forces herself awake through sheer cussedness.
<< Rei : Cast > Fire2 : Siren >>
< Siren is hurt! >
< …and is also on fire! >
< Minako is free. >
< Makoto is free. >
< Usagi is free. >
< Ami is free. >
Siren: "Yaaooouch! Seafood soup!"
<< Siren says I Spit Upon You All! >>
< Fire extinguished! >
< Siren is healed! >
Rei: "…FRACK."
Usagi /tries to stand up and fight.
Usagi /…passes out.
Rei /!!!



SUDDENLY!
Enter Moonlight Knight, dramatically, armed with +3 blessed throwing roses.
Moonlight Knight: "In a corner of the soundless universe, there is a star that plays a beautiful melody. That star is this Earth. No matter who she is, the Moonlight Knight will not forgive anybody who tries to stop this beautiful music."
Rei /shakes head. "Tux, Tux, Tux… *sigh* I can't remember why I ever wanted to date you."
Moonlight Knight /extra gallant. "Sailor Mars—I want to listen to your beautiful singing voice one more time."
Rei: "Aw, yeah. That was the reason."

Moonlight Knight draws his blade and goes hand to hand with Siren, giving Rei time to bust out the potions and recharge herself and the others. However, in the fight, the podium is smashed—and with it Rei's sheet music. , the much-annotated hand-written originals. That she spent days sweating over and reworking again and again and pouring her soul into.

Rei /:mad: "…there are no WORDS."
<< Rei : Summon > Phoenix : Siren >>
<< Siren says I Spit Upon You All! >>
< Phoenix dodges water! >>
< Siren is hit! Weak to fire : shock effect! Siren is seriously hurt! >
Ami: "Sweet flare."
Artemis: "I expected it was about Rei's time!"
Mako: "If that's a preview of what I'm gonna get, I'm a happy camper."
Rei: "¡Okay, Sailor Moon, n—!"
Usagi: "—timing!"
Rei: "…"
Rei /sits down. Just sits down.

<< Usagi : Cast > Halation : Siren >>
<< Siren is eliminated! >>
Siren: "What an unlucky day! Adios!"
Usagi /BONG! BONG!
Rei: "…Do you have to—?"
Usagi: "Of course! It's part of the magic!"
Rei: "¿The legendary 'Mace of Healing', eh?"
Usagi: :D
Ami: "Hey, did Moonlight Knight say something before he left just now?"
Mina: "Oh, you know, 'if you don't keep the light in your hearts, your hearts will fail to light you', something like that."
<< Rei has levelled up! >>
<< Rei has connected to Phoenix! >>
<< Ami has levelled up! >>
<< New Dual-Tech opened! >>



AFTERMATH
Rei gives her concert, this time without interruptions. She changed the introduction—
Rei: "In a corner of the soundless universe, there is a star—"

Basic sweet J-pop love song, but she means every word.


DENOUEMENT
That night, around the bonfire…

Mako: "What are you doing?"
Ami: "I am preparing to toast a 'marsh melon.'"
Mina /snerk
Ami: "Say, where are the Bickersons?"
Mako: "Somewhere over there, I think. Strangely quiet, though."
Ami /snerk
Mina: "Filthy mind."

Usagi: "Hey."
Usagi: "Hey, Rei."
Rei: "Hm?"
Usagi: "I have to tell you, that was some singing tonight. Seriously. You were really wonderful up there. And with the presentation—concert quality, no kidding."
Rei /blushes. "Thank you."
Usagi: "I mean, wow. It's like, the way you were singing, it's like, I felt, I was the only one in the audience, you know? Like you were singing that song just for me."
Rei /blushes some more.
Rei /ahem. "Like I would ever. I mean, I completely forgot you were even there!"
Usagi: "Oh, THANKS! After I go to all the trouble of—"

Mako: "Ah, wait, no. I hear them now."
Mina: "Yep. That's our Dynamic Duo."
Ami: "Yep."
Mako: "Funny how Seijuro disappeared like that…"
Ami: "Might've been back stage still. Cut out before the fight started. What are you thinking?"
Mako: "Nothing. What do you want to do now?"
Ami: "I dunno. What do you want to do?"
Mako: "I dunno. What do you want to do?"
Beat.
Mina: (sings) "Row, row, row, your boat…"
Ami: (sings) "…gently down the stream…"
Mako: (sings) "…merrily merrily merrily merrily…"
The camera pulls back slowly above them…
 

PenguinZero

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I've heard that Rei's school is named after Thomas Aquinas, though I don't know if it's ever officially stated anywhere.
 

Evil Midnight Lurker

What Lurks at Midnight
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If you give a Cardian a fire, you keep her warm for a night.

If you set a Cardian on fire, you keep her warm for the rest of her life. :D

<< Rei : Cast > KAGAKU NINPO HINOTORI : SIREN >>
 
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