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[IWIW] Walkin' on Sailor Moon (thread 3 of a continuing series)

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zwilnik

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*Nod*

Not his best, but you should ALWAYS read more Pratchett. I'm rereading the Tiffany Aching books right now. Based on your own writing in this thread, I think you would really, really appreciate them. Especially "Wee Free Men". Tiffany Aching may be Pratchett's young adult series, but that doesn't stop it from being deep and side splittingly, hilariously funny. Tiffany actually reminds me more than a bit of your version of Ami. She doesn't have a goddamn princess wand, though. She's a witch. She's got a hat, a frying pan, and more than second thoughts.
A frying pan is a good substitute for a bopping wand.

Hmm... I deliberately stopped reading Discworld after 3-4 books to avoid the inevitable decline in a long series. That was 20 years ago. It would appear from all OM evidence that I was in error. DOH!
 

Evil Midnight Lurker

What Lurks at Midnight
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A frying pan is a good substitute for a bopping wand.

Hmm... I deliberately stopped reading Discworld after 3-4 books to avoid the inevitable decline in a long series. That was 20 years ago. It would appear from all OM evidence that I was in error. DOH!
Even after Terry's getting early-onset Alzheimers a couple of years ago, the books JUST KEEP GETTING BETTER. It's kinda scary.
 

Gargoylewing

flying over a post-factual world
Validated User
Finally had a chance to check those couple 'a videos there.

The one from the stage musical… …I'm afraid I don't like the costumes. But then I've never been one for that style of costuming anyway, so that's no loss.
Indeed it is.

1993 Gaiden Dark Kingdom Fukkatsu Hen

Well, as said, the costumes were...
well, they say it was so they can be percieved evenm from the last row...
Anyways, as it is the first one to you, and the only one you may see without getting spoilered.
Furthermore, next to it having good combats, I promise you the further ones will increase in costumes...so if you manage to overlook them this time...
Just know, to infuse you to it, one has to start at the first and foremost possibility.:D

As for the AMV: That's a pretty good one! He did some very intricate masking work there; I'm impressed.

This reminds me that A) I really need to pick up some Duran Duran, and B) I've never seen City Hunter. One of these days. (EDIT: And C, I really ought to upload those music videos I did last year.)
Really good one, isn´t it ?
Neither did I see it, but I heard of it, and that it should be a mature, well made one.
Sadly, it stems from the 70s, and I only saw 70s animes back when I was a child, so nothing like City Hunter...:eek:
 

David J Prokopetz

Social Justice Henchman
RPGnet Member
Validated User
Hmm... I deliberately stopped reading Discworld after 3-4 books to avoid the inevitable decline in a long series. That was 20 years ago. It would appear from all OM evidence that I was in error. DOH!
Discworld is unusual for a long-running series in that the earliest books are, in many ways, the weakest. Granted, many fans think the series peaked a while back, but it's generally agreed that the peak is a bit further along than book 4. :D
 

JohnBiles

Registered User
Validated User
A frying pan is a good substitute for a bopping wand.

Hmm... I deliberately stopped reading Discworld after 3-4 books to avoid the inevitable decline in a long series. That was 20 years ago. It would appear from all OM evidence that I was in error. DOH!
If you've only read the first four Discworld books, you haven't even really reached the good stuff. ^^;;

I did greatly enjoy the first two books, but those books are only really good for people who have read enough 30s-60s fantasy fiction and horror to appreciate the jokes.
 

Shadowjack

Cartoon Poet
RPGnet Member
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Let's see. If we take Sailor Moon's skillset to be reflective of Princess Serenity's own abilities, then the good princess not only wielded the power cosmic, but was adroit at-

a.) Wanging people in the head with a frisbee.

b.) Kicking people in the head.

c.) Long, drawn-out mission statements.

d.) Ignoring reality and substituting her own.

e.) Wanging people in the head with a fairy princess wand.

Huh. Well. The answer is obvious.
:D

Worth noting, however, that from some of Luna's comments and reactions, it's clear (to me, anyway) that Usagi is a bit different from her past incarnation, and not simply more exasperating.





Oh, and I am writing up the next episode right now, it's just taking a while 'cause of stuff, you know. ;)

That was a good episode! And a cliffhanger, wheeeee!
 

Jhiday

Unrepentant Froggie
RPGnet Member
Validated User
Worth noting, however, that from some of Luna's comments and reactions, it's clear (to me, anyway) that Usagi is a bit different from her past incarnation, and not simply more exasperating.
Darn, this is one of the reasons you just MUST watch the live-action series at some point (probably after season 3, for various reasons), as it explores this kind of idea pretty well.

Oh, and I am writing up the next episode right now, it's just taking a while 'cause of stuff, you know. ;)
I warned you : stuff happens. So much that they couldn't fit it in a single episode.

That was a good episode! And a cliffhanger, wheeeee!
Fun fact : when Sailor Moon first aired in France (back in 1993 or so), it became so ingrained into my routine that I managed not to miss a single episode after #20 (well, except that paparazzi one)... but somehow, I missed #59 and the resolution of that particular cliffhanger. It would only be years later that I would find out what happened next (through Hitoshi Doi's synopsis), and yet more years later until I actually watched the episode.

(After that, my watching of the series became very spotty. I never saw the end of R, and missed both most of the first half of S and its very end. Only saw the first few episodes of SuperS. And never saw Stars until two years ago in my full-series marathon.)
 

Shadowjack

Cartoon Poet
RPGnet Member
Validated User
Sailor Moon R #58: The Lovers' Hearts Disagree! The Angry Doom Tree.

COLD OPEN
Usagi: "Warm open, actually. It's a beautiful spring day."
Usagi: "A beautiful Saturday, I'm in the flush of youth, single, unattached, standing all alone here downtown, and have any boys asked me out? Nooooooooo."
Usagi: "I see you hiding behind that telephone pole, Seijuro Ginga! That's what in this country we call a 'hint.'"
Ali, as 'Seijuro': "…I was waiting for the right moment. I believe most things in life can be properly choreographed."
Usagi: "Oh, but you miss out on the fun of improv! 'Why, Mister Ginga! What a coincidence meeting you here!'"
Ali /steps out from behind the telephone pole. "…You knew I was following you, so why pretend…?"
Usagi: "Improvise. Improvise. It's fun!"
Ali /bows. "'Why, Miss Tsukino, indeed, one might call it a miracle, to find a person one knows in such a crowd.'"
Usagi: "There you go!"
Ali: "'Would you care to join me for lunch at this charming streetside—?' Er, eating place-of-business, er, place. What's the word?"
Usagi: "Café, and it is traditional for the boy to pay the bill on the first date."
Ali: "…is it now? …Wait, so this is a date?"
Usagi: "Well, just a lunch date, but sure. You wore me down."
Ali /pumps fist. "YES!"
Usagi: "Heh heh heh. Don't celebrate too soon, handsome, you haven't seen me eat."



MEANWHILE
Mamoru /checking the latest issue of Luna.
En, as 'Natsumi' /hiding behind a copy of Horses and Me.
En: "I don't understand humans at all. Apparently they have this entirely different third gender with four legs and hooves and…? How does that even work? I'm not sure I want to know. Their mates seem pleased, though. And I like the riding hats. Wait, he's putting the magazine down, now, here's my chance!"
En: "Mam—"
Mamoru: "Hey, Miss Natsumi! Nice to see you again! Are you playing any parts right now?"
En: "…That's a complicated question which I would love to discuss over any beverage you would care to imbibe!" /GLOM
Mamoru /?!



OF COURSE…
Usagi /packs it in.
Ali: "…it's a good thing I don't eat… much. Or this would cost a fortune."
Usagi: "What did you mean by—?" /suddenly notices something.
Usagi: "OMG you're Vision! Vision is sitting right behind me! Can I have an autograph? You're my favorite pop idol!"
Vision: "Sure, kid, here you go." /signs.
Mamoru /passing by. "Natsumi, seriously, could you leave my arm alone?"
En, as 'Natsumi': "Why so modest, darling?"
Usagi: "Mamoru?"
Mamoru: "The Bottomless Pit?"
Ali, as 'Seijuro': "Natsumi?"
En: "Seijuro?"

Awkward pause.

Usagi: "I—"
En: "What are you doing here with her? You said you were going to the library!"
Ali: What are you doing here with him?! You said you were going to a schoolfriend's house!"
Mamoru: "…"
Ali: "Is he really so attractive to you?"
Usagi: "…You get the feeling that we're right in the middle of something?"
En: "Is she?"
Mamoru: "Yeah. Let's just sneak away in separate directions, shall we?"
Ali: "I asked first!"
{Mamoru and Usagi have left the scene.}
En: "Don't change the subject, you bastard!"



THAT EVENING, ON THE 13th FLOOR
The Doom Tree is dying. Feet rustle through piles of ashen leaves, new-fallen and faded, and the dim light dims further to darkness.

En: "…This is because you're always chasing Tsukino!"
Ali: "You're in no position to criticize."

Uncomfortable silence.

En: "…This is BAD, Ali. I mean… if Audrey dies, we die. I'm not ready to die yet! Hell, Ali, I don't want to die ever!"
Ali: "I guess the only solution is to give Audrey more energy, En. Lots more."
En: "What worked before must work again, right? Right."
Ali: "…Right." /feels dissatisfied with that answer for some reason.



THIS SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY! AT THE JUBAN FAIRGROUNDS!
Advertisements for the SAILOR MOON show!
Usagi /chortles. "I'm famous."
Luna: "You don't get in free."
Usagi: "I know that. Secret identity, duh."
Luna: "And you're not getting any royalties for this one."
Usagi: "And who's fault is that?"
Luna: "I'm not your agent, I'm your coach!"

Meanwhile, inside…
Lady in a big-head Sailor Moon costume: "In the name of the Moon—"
A million screaming kids, and some older Sailor Moon fans: "—I will PUNISH you!"
Umino: "Ha! This is great."
Naru: "I never thought she'd become so famous. We can be proud of her!"
Umino: "Well, she is our hometown superhero, but seems a little silly to be proud of someone we don't actually know personally. Unless there's something you're not telling me, ha-ha!"
Naru /Subject-Changing Prana. "Say, did the sun suddenly go out, or is it just me?"
Umino /adjusts glasses and squints. "…There's some sort of multi-headed, multi-limbed woman floating above us on a lotus blossom."
Naru: "Frell!" /bolts for the closest door.
Usagi /suddenly opens the door just as Naru reaches it.
WHACK!
Usagi /?!
Naru: "Ow! Ma node!"
Yamandakka, for that is the lotus demon's name: "Good morning!" /throws lotus petals on everyone in the room.
Usagi /is not technically in the room yet.
Everybody in the room is instantly and heavily energy drained.
Usagi /WTF?!
Luna /!?
{Yamandakka has left the scene.}
Usagi /stares at Naru. "You have got to be kidding me! They got Naru again?!"
Luna: "She's even more unlucky than you are! You'd better call 119."



A COUPLE OF MINUTES LATER, ON THE 13th FLOOR
Yamandakka sings to herself as she sprinkles energy over the Doom Tree. Despite the light show, Audrey does not respond.

Ali: "It's not working. It's not working. Something's wrong. Something's different this time. …I hope it's not—"
En: "…What? What do you hope it's not?"
Ali: "…I've been starting to wonder… if… maybe this world isn't suitable for the Doom Tree."
En: "What?! Impossible! It's a lovely planet! And it's the Doom Tree. We come a million light years through interstellar space with no problems, but it doesn't like the soil pH? Impossible."
Ali: "Improbable. But in any case… well, what do we do now?"
En: "I…"
En /has no idea.
Ali /doesn't either.
Yamandakka /certainly doesn't.



MONDAY, SCHOOL
Ms. Haruna: "Umino, Osaka, and Ginga are absent?"
Usagi: "The first two are in the hospital, and Seijuro Ginga is also absent!"
Ms. Haruna: "Well, he's in another class, but that's still worrying. How'd you know about this?"
Usagi: "…I have my connections."



AFTER SCHOOL WITH TWO OF HER CONNECTIONS
Makoto: "Why do we have to go see them with you? Is this one of your schemes?"
Usagi: "Jeez, calm down. It's just one of those social things, you know? No scheme beyond 'making friends.' Besides, Makoto, I thought you liked the guy."
Makoto: "I'm so over him."
Ami: "How are Umino and Naru, by the way?"
Usagi: "They're out of the hospital, but they're going to be laid up for a while, since they still hadn't fully recovered from the last one."
Makoto: "And Naru's nose?"
Usagi: "…They set it, no problem, they said. And don't look at me like that, how was I to know she was running out at the same time I was coming in? She'll probably be safer at home then out in public, anyway."
Ami: "I know, we could probably find demons reliably just by following her around town. We really ought to conduct some tests on that when we have a little more time."
Usagi: "Er, if we get any."
Makoto: "…'Tests?'"
Ami: "By the way, did you notice? This Cardian seems to be behaving differently."
Usagi: "Well, the last one, sure, that was crazy, but this one pretty much did like the one that got you mad, didn't it? Pop in, grab all the kids, pop out?"
Ami: "Yes, but this soon after the last, and this publicly? It's like they're in a desperate hurry."
Usagi: "Well, you're the master analyst. But I didn't notice anything."
Ami: "…"
Usagi: "…Hey, their hotel building is called 'Odyssey.' What with the lotus monster, isn't that a wild coincidence? Will we meet a cyclops next, or a someone with wind powers?"
Ami /shakes head and smiles. "…I can never predict what you've read or not." :)
Usagi: "Actually, I only saw the Duck Tales episode." :eek:



13th FLOOR
Usagi: "Ding, dong! Bunny calling!"
Ali and En /answer the door in human form, wearing matching outfits.
Ali /thrilled. "Miss Tsukino!"
En /definitely not thrilled. "…"
Usagi: "Matching outfits? I know, your biorhythms are out of synch, and so you're entering a dance competition to make up for it!"
Ami: "Oh, random Evangelion reference, how I've missed you."
Makoto: "…Actually, I get the feeling we're interrupting a private moment." /iykwimaityd ;)
Ali: "Haha! Ha!"
Ali: "Ha!"
Ali: "Nonsense! What could make you think that?"
Ami: "It's not my place to judge, but you two do give off that vibe now and then."
Ali /glibly. "We lost our parents when we were young, so perhaps we seem closer together than most siblings."
Usagi: "Sure, that explanation seems plausible."
En: "Why are you people here? It's rude to just drop by unannounced!"
Makoto: "Hey, Usagi was worried about you guys! I oughtta knock your block off!"
Ami: "Down girl! Easy!"
Ali: "Well, why don't you come in and have a drink? Everyone's invited, of course."
En: "…BROTHER!"
Ali: "Sit down! Sit down!"



AND SO

IN THE KITCHEN:
Ali /is totally grooving on this "making coffee" business.
Ali /suddenly! "…What's this odd feeling?"



IN THE LIVING ROOM:
As we've noted before, Ali and En have swanky digs, but it doesn't make much impression on their guests. Makoto is pissed off, Ami feels out of place but is being polite, Usagi is casual and friendly as always, En is pissed off.

Usagi: "Say, why'd you cut school, anyway?"
En: "Why the fuck do you care?"
Usagi: "Because we're friends—"
En: "…we are?"
Usagi: "—and schoolmates. Everyone was kind of worried."
En: "Wait, back up. 'Friends?'"
Usagi: "'Is Natsumi hurt? Is she sick?' And so on. Right guys?"
Makoto: "…Yeah. Sure. Everyone."
Ami: "Almost everyone."
En: "…I really don't understand."
Ami: "And you don't want to drop behind in your studies, either, so—"
En: "Look, nothing that happens to me has anything to do with you people, so just fuck off!"
Makoto: "Usagi, if we don't go home now, I will probably start a fight. I don't want to go to juvie again, so can we please go?"
Usagi: "Say! What's in this room, with the cool Star Trek door and the blinking lights?"
En: "No!"
Ali /quickly deflects Usagi from the door. "Rec room. But it's a mess right now, you don't want to see that."
Usagi: "Well, you should ask Makoto for help! She's really great at cleaning! Right, Mako?"
Makoto /says nothing.
Ami: "…Thank you for the coffee." /walks with Makoto to the door.
Ali: "But it's not ready yet!"
En: "You're annoying us, please go." /shoves Usagi's bag into her hands.
Usagi: "…All right, next time then, maybe." /waves bye-bye!
Makoto: "…yes, we're annoying, while she chases Mamoru up and down the street, but do we say anything? nooooo, and when it's her time of the month she gets to play the queen bitch, but if I say anything, I'm the bad…"
Ami: "Good afternoon! Thank you!" /ushers Makoto onward…
Ali: "But—?"
Usagi: "Another time!"



AND SO THEY WALK AWAY
Ali /waves from the balcony.
En: "OH ISN'T THAT SWEET. SEEING THEM OFF. ALL COZY-LIKE."
Ali: "En… didn't you feel that just now?"
En: "…feel what?"
Ali: "Something nice and warm…"
En: "What, the sunset?"
Ali: "No, something inside. I don't know what, I've never felt this way before. But I guess I feel…"
En /?
Ali: "…kind of…"
Ali: "…"
Ali: "…good?"



TUESDAY MORNING
The alarm goes off.
Luna /stretches. "Okay, Usagi, time to—"
Usagi is already gone.
Luna: "Again? What is she up to this time?"



13th FLOOR
Usagi: "Ding, dong!"
En, as 'Natsumi' /opens the door.
En: "…"
En: "What. The. Hell."
Usagi: "Just remember, you've driven me to do this."
En /?!
Ali, as 'Seijuro' /pokes his head out of the bathroom. "Honey, have you seen my toothbr—? Miss Tsukino! Hello!" /quick, to the wardrobe!
Usagi: "Don't bother! I'm only here for Natsumi!"
En: "What?"
Usagi: "I know, I know, some days you just want to sleep the day away or whatever, and going to school is the last thing you want to do. Believe me, I know. But, nope, as my name is Usagi Tsukino, I'm not gonna let you run away from it. Get your uniform and school things."
En: "Don't make me destroy you."
Ali /strides in all dressed, shaved, and shining. "Since you went to the trouble of coming over, how about some food? At least, the guy at the store said this is food…"
Usagi: "It is! And I don't mind if I do."
En /DEATH GAZE



COZY IN THE KITCHEN
En /considers the knives. "'Brother dear', why did you invite her in?"
Ali: "I really don't know."
En: "What?"
Ali: "I just sort of… felt like it."
En: "…Oh, great, now you're sick, too."



MEANWHILE, IN THE LIVING ROOM
Usagi fights a battle against herself, and is losing.
Usagi: "I want to know what's behind that electric door."
Usagi: "The button's right there. I could pop the door open, peek in, close it again, and no one would be the wiser."
Usagi: "It's none of my business."
Usagi: "They asked me not to look."
Usagi: "It's probably nothing."
Usagi: "Just a spare closet."
Usagi: "Or a computer room."
Usagi: "Or a home gymnasium."
Usagi: "Or it's something completely bizarre."
Usagi: "Aquariums filled with exotic beetles."
Usagi: "Five hundred pairs of socks, neatly categorized, each one with its own name."
Usagi: "A shrine to Badzt-Maru."
Usagi: "A secret sexatorium."
Usagi: "I have to stop thinking about it."
Usagi: "I am just going to sit here and ignore the door, and wait for Seijuro to bring out second breakfast, and meditate upon the Biblical story of Eve."
Usagi /sits down.

How long can trust Usagi Tsukino hold out?
How can she possibly resist the diabolical urge to open the door that could transform her opinion of the Ginga siblings forever?
Will her tortured mind give in to her uncontrollable desires?
Can she resist the temptation to press the button that, even now, beckons her even closer?
Will she succumb to the maddening urge to violate someone's privacy, at the mere push of a single button?
The beautiful, SHINY button.
The jolly CANDY-LIKE button.
Will she hold out, folks?
Can she hold out?


Usagi /leaps to her feet. "NO I CAN'T!!!"
Usagi /squeals and pushes the button.

Millions of tendrils reach out of the door and try to drag her into the light.



A MOMENT LATER
Ali /shuts the door. "Are you okay?"
Usagi: "…t…t…t…TREE!"
Ali: "Yes, it's a tree."
Usagi: "TREE!"
Ali: "Yes. A tree."
Usagi: "Seijuro!"
Ali: "Yes?"
Usagi: "What. the. fuck? I mean—TREE! You get what I'm asking? I mean."
Ali /glibly. "Oh, you see, I'm taking a correspondence course in astrobotany, and that includes some home experimentation. It's a perfectly normal if rare plant, and sometimes it reacts to body heat or scents and seems to reach out and grab things. It's perfectly safe."
Usagi /suspiciously. "It's not named 'Ackbar,' is it?"
Ali: "…no? 'Audrey.'"
Usagi /whew. "Okay. Sure. That explanation seems plausible."
En: "And now would you care to explain why you looked into a private room without permission?"
Usagi: "Because the so-called 'sin of Eve' is actually a core part of what makes us human—that striving curiosity about the world around us that drives us to imagine and explore."
En: "…Just… Just get out."
Usagi: "I'm going, I'm going."
Ali: "Sorry you had a rough time."
Usagi: "Sorry to cause trouble."



BUT, AS ALI WAVES GOOD-BYE AGAIN
Ali: "There's that weird feeling again. What is this?"
En: "Ali! Ali! Get in here, quick!"



QUICK, ALI, TO THE DOOM ROOM!
Ali: "Great Scott, the Doom Tree has a bud! Maybe that last energy input finally did the tr—"
En: "No, it happened just now. Like, as I was looking in on it."
Ali: "…right now? When I was on the balcony, and—?"
En: "…!"
En: "It has something to do with Tsukino's energy."
Ali: "I don't know, I—"
En /rubs hands gleefully. "Oh, I will enjoy this. Yes. Let her come over again. We'll squeeze her dry."
Ali: "Hold on."
En: "Yeah, I thought you'd object."
Ali: "Not for the reason you're thinking. I've got a nasty hunch. Yamandakka!"
Yamandakka /was tripping out in the corner. "Hm?"
Ali: "Give energy to this new sprout."
Yamandakka /complies immediately, humming and singing to herself.

The new growth immediately, abruptly, definitely DIES.

En: "You killed it!"
Ali: "…"
Yamandakka /shrugs apologetically.
Doom Tree: "Nrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhh!"

En: "…That was new."
Ali: "That was just your imagination. Just the, er, air conditioning, making the branches groan."
En: "Ali. Serious question: What is the Doom Tree?"
Ali: "What? You know that. It's the tree our ancestors handed down to us so we could store the energy we need."
En: "Is that all?"
Ali: "It distills high quality energy fit for our consumption."
En: "Is that all?"
Ali: "What more could there be?"
En: "Well, when I actually stop to think about it, it seems like awfully little to do for such a large and complicated-looking organism. I mean, why not a Doom Shrub?"
Ali: "Well, there used to be more of us."
En: "And that's all our people ever did, and ever did with it? Stole energy, distilled it, consumed it, repeat?"
Ali: "…Yeah, that's all."
Ali: "I guess."
Ali: "Um."



LUNCH AT SCHOOL
Makoto: "You went there again?"
Ami /laughs. "You're something else, Usagi."
Usagi /laughs. "Well, I'm not ready yet to admit defeat! If I show up every morning, she's sure to give in eventually. Why are you staring at me?"
Ami: "There's something on your head."
Usagi: "Is it a bee? GET IT OFF! GET IF OFF!"
Makoto /seizes a stick…
Usagi /!
Makoto /and brushes whatever it is off of Usagi's hair.
Makoto /leans close. "It looks like a twig."
Usagi /leans closer. "I ran into a tree earlier today—"
The twig twitches.
Ami /leans closest. "…is it moving?"
The twig lunges for Ami's face.



TWO SECONDS LATER, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE QUAD
Makoto /pant gasp. "That was no human bee."
Usagi /gasp pant. "OMG ARE THERE ANY MORE IN MY HAIR?!"
Ami /pant gasp. "You're… you're clean."
Makoto: "Quick, call Rei so we can KILL IT WITH FIRE!"
Ami: "No! It's evidence. Someone needs to go collect it in a jar or something so we can bring it in for analysis."
Usagi: "…"
Makoto: "…"
Ami: "…"
Usagi: "I have a brilliant idea. Luna needs to collect it in a jar or something so we can bring it in for analysis."



EMERGENCY SESSION AT THE SHRINE
Luna: "Now Artemis will demonstrate for Rei and Minako."
Artemis /does not move.
Artemis: "Um… how?"
Luna: "Walk over to the jar and stick your leg in."
Artemis: "Terribly sorry, but I'm late for my insulin shot."
Luna: "You will almost certainly be okay."
Artemis: "And what will you do if you're wrong?"
Luna: "Apologize."
Artemis: "Great."

The moment Artemis gets close to the sample jar, the twig makes a lunge for him. Everyone jumps.

Minako: "…Looks like love at first sight to me."
Artemis: "I AM GOING TO SIT OVER THERE AND TAKE A BATH NOW."
Luna: "Now do you understand?"
Usagi /thinks carefully.
Usagi: "Not one bit."
Luna: "Frell."
Ami: "It steals lifeforce energy."
Makoto: "I can't believe it was stuck to your head and you didn't notice."
Rei: "Her least vulnerable spot."
Usagi: "Luckily. I fall over a lot."
Ami: "Is this some new Cardian?"
Artemis: "Luna and I gave it an exhaustive analysis, and—do you really want to know this?"
Minako: "Artemis, love, please stop trying to build up false drama when there's already real drama, or I will punt you."
Artemis /Chase-Cutting Charm. "This twig comes from the Doom Tree."

Dramatic pause.

The girls /look at each other.
Usagi: "…Is that supposed to mean anything to us?"
Luna: "Oh, for crying out— wait, you really mean that? You've never heard of the Doom Tree? None of you?"
Makoto: "Nope."
Rei: "No."
Minako: "Negativo."
Ami: "Never."
Usagi: "…I'm tempted to say, 'yes,' just to confuse everyone. But no."
Luna: "It's this legendary cosmic plant that drains energy… and that's all anyone knows definitively. But there are many dark rumors, stretching back millennia, through many civilizations and species."
Rei: "And after thousands of years, it suddenly turns up on Earth, in Natsumi Ginga's upscale apartment, and tries to eat Usagi."
Usagi: "…Well, Seijuro did say he was a botanist. Maybe h—"
Rei: "Usagi. ¡Come on!"
Usagi: "Well…"
Luna: "If there's a twig, there's a tree."
Minako: "I'm sorry, Usagi, I know you're trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, but it's pretty obvious the Gingas are now 'persons of interest' to our investigation."
Makoto: "Why mince words? Seijuro and Natsumi are Ali and En."
Usagi: "I don't believe it! Sure, they're both a bit odd, what with the elfin features, strange accents, and him playing flute using no tonal scale I recognize, and her clumsy attempt to make a pass at me last week, and their—"
Rei: "Wait. ¿What?"
Usagi: "—general lack of knowledge of, well, anything normal, and that they never eat in public, and… and…"
Usagi: "Frell."
Usagi: "Okay, so maybe they are space aliens… but they're too nice to be monsters!"



A FEW HOURS LATER
Usagi /is staking out the Gingas' apartment.
Luna /materializes behind her. "It's dangerous to go alone! Take this!"
Usagi /!
Luna: "Chinese take-out. It looked like you might miss supper."
Usagi: "Where'd you come from?!"
Luna: "I was staking you out."
Usagi: "Luna… I don't know that I can just kick in the door of people I know. No matter how weird they may seem."
Luna: "I know how you feel, dear heart, but in this case—"
Usagi: "I have to make sure! I'm sure there's an innocent explanation!" /stands up and—
Luna: "You're going to go back in there all alone? After what happened to you before?"
Usagi: "…Um! Maybe not."
Luna: "It's safer with back-up, isn't it?"
Usagi: "Yeah, you're right. Moonlight Knight would probably show up, but you can't talk a tree to death."

Mamoru /just happens by, bearing flowers. "Why, if it isn't the Cat Herder! You calling on Miss Natsumi, too?"
Usagi: "Mamoru? What are you— You're visiting her? Why? With flowers?"
Mamoru: "Why the tears, kid? She helped us out on the play, remember? I heard through the grapevine that she was sick and missing school, so…"
Usagi: "She's playing hooky. Hooky!"
Mamoru: "What, really?"
Usagi: "Hooky! Also, there's an energy-leeching Doom Tree in their apartment, and she pays it blind wriggling young strange obeisance, or something like that. I didn't see that part myself."
Mamoru: "A shubbawhatnow? Okay, now I know you're making up stories. See ya round!"
Usagi: "…Hey, Mamoru, wait up!"
Luna: "Hey! What are you—?"
Usagi: "What, you want him to go up there alone? Go get the others, just in case. If I'm right, you'll see I'm right. If you're right, we'll blast this thing wide open."



13th FLOOR AGAIN
Mamoru: "Knock, knock!" /hands flowers to En.
En, as 'Natsumi' /?
En: "…buh wah huh?"
Mamoru: "Flowers."
En: "Why?"
Mamoru: "I heard you were sick, and was worried. Anyone else'd do the same."
En: "…"
En: "…"
En /suddenly has a mysterious warm fuzzy feeling inside.
Usagi: (whispers) "Right, you did your duty, now you should run. I'm telling you. Remember the other monsters?"
Mamoru: (whispers) "What? I don't see anything."
En: "Oh, you're here again, Tsukino?"
En: "Well, since you're here…"
En: "…why don't you…"
En: "…come inside for a bit?"
En: (to self) "That was not what I meant to say. Why did I say that? Why do I feel weird?"
Ali, as 'Seijuro': "Oh, hey, Usagi! And what's-his-name. Hey, let me get you folks a little something. I think we still have the food items you missed out on last time."
Usagi /pumps fist. "YES!"
Ali: "Don't celebrate too soon, I'm not sure I bought the right things."



A FEW MINUTES LATER, A COZY COFFEE CLATCH
Usagi /om nom nom.
Mamoru: "Uh… I guess you bought the right things."
Ali: "Excellent!"
En /is mentally gauging the distance between Usagi and the Doom Tree door.
Usagi /OM NOM NOM.
Mamoru: "Uh…*what a nice view you have, here!"
En: "Oh, yes, it's great on the balcony. Brother, why not show him?"
Ali: "Uh…*sure?" /leads Mamoru over to the balcony.
En: "MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Usagi /gulp. "That's bad for the lungs, you know."
En: "You want to see the secret room this time? 'Cause I'll show you."
Usagi: "…Why are you offering all of a sudden?"
En: "Don't worry, it'll be sleeping now."
Usagi: "I dunno…"
En: "You want to know."
Usagi: "I do want to know."
En: "There's nothing to worry about."
Usagi: "There's nothing to worry about?"
En: "Let's go see."
Usagi: "I have a bad feeling about this."
En /leads Usagi over to The Door and opens it.

DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. The door looms before Usagi.

Usagi: "…kinda dark in there, innit?"
En: "It'll get bright soon enough! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" /SHOVE
Usagi: "AAUGH!" /falls into the room.
En: "Yamandakka! GET HER!" /locks door
Usagi /is grabbed
En: "REVENGE! MUAHAHAHAHAH—"
Doom Tree: "FOR GODS' SAKES WILL YOU STOP IT ALREADY, PLEASE?! "
En: "—aha?"



SUDDENLY!
The building trembles! Roots and tendrils smash through the walls, crashing through the entire building. Screams and shouts of the occupants, weird moaning noises from the Doom Tree, rubble and dust and sparks and fire.

Mamoru /duck and cover! "What the hell is going on?!"
Ali /dodging rubble. "Don't ask me, I only live here! En, what's going on?!"
En: "TALKING TREE! TALKING TREE!"
Ali: "…"
Mamoru: "Where's—?"
Usagi: (somewhere up in the branches of the revealed Tree) "Now would be a really good time, Moonlight Knight! HEEEEELP!"
Mamoru: "Shit!"
Ali: "We've got to—"
Ali and Mamoru /leap aside as Yamandakka is flung in their direction.
Yamandakka /K.O.
Mamoru: "Hey, that's the monster that hit the Sailor Moon show on Sunday!"
Ali: "No time for that, damn it! We should—"



DOWN ON THE STREET BELOW
Ami: "Damn it, Usagi's still in there!"
Luna: "Right folks, you know what to do. Let's hit it."



STARKLY CORUSCANT TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE COUNTER
Usagi into Second-Stage Sailor Moon: 7
Usagi into Sailor Moon: 43
Usagi into Princess Serenity: 1
Usagi into Disguise Form: 9
Ami into Sailor Mercury: 15
Rei into Sailor Mars: 13
Makoto into Sailor Jupiter: 8
Minako into Sailor Venus: 7
Mamoru into Tuxedo Mask: 2



TO THE RESCUE!
Makoto: "Step aside, I'll handle this."
<< Makoto : Cast > Thunder2 : Root >>
< No effect. >
Rei: "Not so talented doorknockers after all…"
Makoto: "Since when are trees immune to lightning?!"
Luna: "It's no ordinary tree."
Minako: "We need to—"

Suddenly, a scream comes from above!
Two screams!
Two, two screams! *lightning and roll of thunder*

Majel Barrett: "To be continued."







COMMENTARY
The Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! guy died just last month. Jan Gabriel, his name was, and was apparently was active in promoting motorsport for decades. I only found out about it because I Googled the quote out of curiosity. The progenitor of a great meme has passed, and so we salute you.
 

Evil Midnight Lurker

What Lurks at Midnight
Validated User
...Wait, did Artemis and Luna really know rumors about the Tree? It's been so long I can't recall.

I am now seeing a John Kricfalusi version of Sailor Moon, and I cannot STOP seeing this blasphemous horror, and I blame you for this. :eek:
 
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