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[IWIW] Walkin' on Sailor Moon (thread 3 of a continuing series)

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Cartoon Poet
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Re: Sailor Moon Episode R #60: An Angel? A Devil? Mysterious Girl from the Sky.

On the other hand, the Black Moon ? Their first appearance is handled very differently from the manga. There, they were played like a B-movie alien invasion, secretly infiltrating everything while the world succumbs to paranoia from all the UFO sightings. This made them very creepy (especially considering some other aspects I can't talk about now).
Oh, fun!

So long as they aren't vulnerable to truck mounted sonic cannon… wait, what am I saying? I love that movie.

She's called Berthier. Which makes your faux-French accent for her all the funnier. :D
I laughed and laughed when I got to her name in the next episode. "I knew it! I knew it!" :D

By the way, we're back to the "stones" theme naming !

Rubeus doesn't need explaining. Koan, the youngest sister, apparently gets her name from Kermesite ("Koanko" in Japanese), while Berthier gets hers from Berthierite. We'll talk about the other two sisters a bit later, when they actually do something.
Aha! Interesting. Thank you.

QUOTE]And so, once again, the other Sailor soldiers are completely useless.

Get used to it.[/QUOTE]

Usagi: "And they call me useless!"

Note that, while the Rabbit knows both Usagi & Mamoru's name, as well as Usagi's possession of the Silver Crystal... She shows no indication of knowing that Usagi is Sailor Moon, so far.
Yes, I found that interesting. The secret identities remain secret!

Had to rewrite one of my lines of dialogue when I realized, too.

So far, so good. This arc's most annoying elements haven't shown up yet, and it's clear that the Rabbit is annoying because she's supposed to. (I'm not part of her haters, but this season clearly doesn't do her any favors...)
Yeah, she's basically working methodically down the list of How to Be an Irritating Child at this point, but it all depends on subsequent resolution.


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On the matter of Chibi-Usa:
As a general rule, I don't hate her. Oh, I don't like her much either, but I don't think she's a pox upon the show either.
But in her introductory episode? Mind-controlling Usagi's muggle relatives, drugging the senshi?
Yeah. Here, I hated her.


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By the way, if you've watched Buffy, note the obvious parallels between Usagi mk 2 and Dawn.


flying over a post-factual world
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I indeed have noticed, Q99.
Speaking of:
Usagi: "Right, and the one we all really hated was the one where all sorts of weird stuff is happening to one of the heroes, and even though the other heroes have all encountered really weird stuff before, for some reason this episode they decide that the other guy must be making it all up, and go out of their way to find 'innocent explanations' for the weirdness, or accuse him of playing pranks, and it takes all episode before they realize that, yes, the victim really was being attacked by gremlins or framed by the villain's illusion magic, or whatever?"
THIS, is in Buffy-speak called:
"to scully s.o.".:cool:
named, of course, after Gillian Hmmmmm Anderson´s character from the also 90s series "X-files"...

Strange figures look out upon the cityscape from magical portals, arranged about their chamber.
All have caste marks of a black crescent moon, facing downward.
Heh, "caste marks".
It is so appropriately named, I wonder how those were ever called before Exalted came out (which, when SM ran, was not)...

An acrobatic woman in light armor of red and gold: "Huh. Why, there cain't be more than ten million souls out thar."
A dark woman in elegant green: "And look at those tiny buildings, dahlink! Zey call zis a city?"
Rubeus: "They do."
Koan, a slender, prissy woman, clad in shades of purple: "Whatevew! What awe we waiting fow! Let's find the Silvew Cwystaw and destwoy it!"

A shy bondage bunny in sky blue: "Exactement! And remember, we have how-you-say deux goals here: the Silver Crystal, and the Rabbit."
Ok, so we have pepe-French, Elmar Fudd (fitting, she is hunting the Whabbit...), and the others ? I don´t actually get those too clearly...

We glimpse the outside of their craft—it looks like a giant crystal caltrop, and hangs in the sky like some dark omen of things to come.

Can you say "Landing Ship"?:D
Ah, the Gondola lovers...:p
The Kid /snotty. "I'm Usagi. What's your name? And why do you have my hairstyle?"
Usagi /double snotty. "I'm Usagi, and that's my hairstyle, and answer the question!"
It is trademarked !;)
The Kid: "You're Usagi? In that case…"
The Kid /summons the cat's head to her side…
The Kid /…and transforms it into an M1911 longslide chambered in .45 ACP, which she presses to Usagi's forehead.
Kid´s show ! Kid´s show! kid´s show...?
The Kid: "The Silver Crystal. Give it to me now."
This girl knows too much. So either the time monks (this being SM, maybe time nuns?) have stitched too obvious again, or there is more to it...

Usagi's bedroom has been thoroughly ransacked.
Usagi: "…"
Usagi /storms downstairs.
Usagi: "SHINGO! You are dead meat!"
Dad /?
Shingo: "Whatever it is, I didn't do it!"
but a completely logical chain of thoughts !

Mom: "Oh, come on, there's photos right here in the family album. See? In all those pictures with you."
Mysterious !
...says a Japanese girl with blond hair...

Luna /significant glance, sidelong look, toss of head.
Ah, the voice of reason...
Sorcerer Wiseman: (via hologram) "The Silver Crystal, a stone that brings us much trouble, it is. As long as it exists, cannot destroy the Crystal Tokyo that we HATESSSSS SO MUCH, can we."
Ooh, and him0...
Rei: "¡Sorry, sorry! But seriously, I find nothing wrong with the picture."
Even more mysterious !
Rei: "¡Yes, yes, shoo! ¡Shoo! ¡Private conversation!"
'Gramps': "Well, if any of you ladies are interested in a private conversation later with someone with lots of life experience—"
Rei: "¡Out! ¡Shoo! ¡Thank you for the tea, yes! ¡Shoo! ¡Venga!" /slams door.
I cannot help, but I liked the animated hand movement of Rei here. very...elegant...?
Usagi: "—ninja."
Face it folks...Usaki was safed by her enormous hunger...*smiles*
Usagi: "? Crocodile tears!"
But in the Tsukino residence, Rabbit showed a really flawless application of puppy eyes usage...
The Kid /screams.
{A Lunar caste mark appears on the Kid's forehead and shines brilliantly.}
Usagi: "…Uh-oh."
Again. OTOH, I had some deja-vu to Avatar here, too...
Koan, the purple, has been engaged in the following brilliant plan: examining every single small child in the search area for a caste mark, one by one. At this point, she's collected a small crowd on the playground, and the yard duty is trying to wave her off.
You know what I loved and remembered most on this episode ?
All the little girls Koan looks at, are settled in front of her, while all the boys stand behind here, where her ridiculously short skirt is lifted up completely...:D

Usagi: "And who are you?!
Koan: "I'm heaw to kill the Wabbit!" /points at the Kid.
Usagi: "'Kill the Wabbit'?"
Koan: "Kill the Wabbit!"
Usagi: "'Kill the Wabbit'?"
Koan: "Kill the Wabbit!"
Usagi /rolleyes. "…'Kill the Wabbit'."
The Kid: "Don't let her get me!"
{Rei's manga shelf has been set on fire!}
Not the Mangas !:mad:
Usagi /jumps above the flames and onto the shrine wall.
Usagi /runs along the shrine wall.
Now that is some smart move !
Usagi: "BODY SLAM!"
That´s Body Slam of Love and Justice for you.:p

Mamoru: "…"
Usagi: "You okay? You just spaced out."
Mamoru: "…I just had one of my visions."
Usagi: "Uh-oh."
Mamoru: "A great city of crystal… something on a high spire… no, within the…"
Mamoru: "…It's gone now."
I said it once already, but it will all make sense in the end...;)
Rubeus, the redhead: "'Sailor Moon'? Never heard of her."
Rubeus: "Ho-hum, unexpected interference. Okay. We can work with that. At least we know we're in the right place."
Ah, Rubeus**. Despite anyone is thinking, he strucks me as a military leader character played right. Layed-back looking, but focussed on the Job.
Not an Aryan skirt-hunter, decadent Astrologer, metrosexual Crystallomancer and hes broody Dimansionologist, or a snob in some masking.
Not that there is anything wrong with that. Nothing, seriously...what ?

Now I am glad we are about back in the running.:)


Oh, and we are back in spoiler territory, too...

I see why there is so much hate, but she never struck me as that hatable. But it has been some time, maybe she is just not as annoying in my nostalgic memory...

**PS. that is
Spoiler: Show
Spoiler: Show
that much time must be...


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Gargoylewing said:
I cannot help, but I liked the animated hand movement of Rei here. very...elegant...?
Elegant, and perfectly communicates her frantic/dismissive "yes! I acknowledge your presence! now shoo! shoo!"

And, yes, it was a good touch on the kids at the park, that some boys immediately realized that this person is not dressed in a culturally-appropriate fashion. :p

Gargoylewing said:
Heh, "caste marks".
It is so appropriately named, I wonder how those were ever called before Exalted came out (which, when SM ran, was not)...
Possibly "caste marks", given their resemblance to customs in places like India. But I don't know for sure.

"Magical brand" perhaps.

Gargoylewing said:
Ok, so we have pepe-French, Elmar Fudd (fitting, she is hunting the Whabbit...), and the others ? I don´t actually get those too clearly...
Blue is how-you-say trés French, purple is a Fuddite, red is a Cowgirl, and green is Potsylvanian like Natasha Fatale.


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Possibly "caste marks", given their resemblance to customs in places like India. But I don't know for sure.

"Magical brand" perhaps.
I want to say "sigil" was used a lot.

I could be misremembering though... I pretty sure I used it, at least!


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Sailor Moon R Episode #61: Huge Shock for Usagi! Mamoru Declares a Break Up!

Another morning in that Tokyo District we know so well…

Mamoru /out for his morning run.
Usagi /motors past, looking obviously worried.
Mamoru: "Hey!"
Usagi /double-takes.
Mamoru: "I didn't know you—"
Mamoru /oof
Usagi: "I didn't know you jogged along here!"
Mamoru: "Every morning. Well, most mornings. I seem to be on the ground all of a sudden, with a large weight on top of me. Pick me up?"
Usagi: "Well, er, how about I help you stand up? Pick you up. Riiiiight."
Mamoru: "Once again, Fate has brought us together."
Usagi: "I'd say such dedication to athletics deserves a good morning ki—"
Luna: "WILL YOU TWO STOP ALREADY! It's too early in the morning for banter, and we have other problems!"
Mamoru: "Talking cat?!"
Luna: "Don't start with me!"
Mamoru: "Sorry, joking, sorry. We were never formally introduced, you know. Anyway, you said 'problems'?"
Usagi: "Oh, yeah. My future android clone has disappeared."
Mamoru: "…Is that good news or bad news?"
Usagi: "Well, she's sort of under my protection, so—"
Mamoru: "—Bad. Right. Let's get searching. Maybe that little playground?"
Usagi: "My thoughts exactly. Let's roll!"

The Kid /sits on a swing, overwhelmed by homesickness.
The Kid: "…I want my Mommy and Daddy…"
Usagi: "Chibi-Usa!"
Mamoru: "There you are!"
The Kid: "…"
Usagi: "Hey, what's wrong, kiddo? You left home without telling anyone, and we got all worried."
The Kid: "Leave me alone. You don't care."
Usagi: "Sure, I do. Even if you won't tell me the truth, you're still a kid in trouble. I don't want you to get hurt!"
The Kid: "…"
Mamoru: "May I try?"
Usagi: "You seem to be good with kids, sure."
Mamoru /big brother mode: ON. "Hey there, cute girl. Dry those tears, huh? Come on, I'll take you home, and we can have a big breakfast."
The Kid: "…oh… okay…"
Mamoru /picks up the kid. "Upsidaisy—"

{Mamoru has another vision. The crystal city, and within the upper spire—}

Mamoru: "…"
Usagi: "Uh, hello?"
Mamoru: "Nothing. Sorry. Flashback."
Luna /peers intently at the Kid. (talking to self) "…hmm. I wonder if—? Naaaaaah. I've been listening to Usagi too much."

Usagi: "How come Chibi-Usa gets a piggyback ride and not me?"
Mamoru: "Because you weigh, like, two-thirds my weight?"
Usagi: "You and your logic. Men!"
The Kid: "Stop calling me Chibi-Usa! My name is USAGI!"
Usagi: "MY name is Usagi, and I was here first! I outrank you!"
The Kid: "But my name is USAGI!"
Usagi: "You're riding on MY boyfriend, so I get to call you whatever I want!"
Mamoru /shakes head and smiles.
The Kid: "Nuh-uh! He's MY boyfriend!"
Usagi: "Is not!"
The Kid: "Is too!"
Mamoru: "So I'm your boyfriend now?"
The Kid: "Yeah!"
Usagi: "No!"
Mamoru: "And we're going to your house now?"
The Kid: "Yeah!"
Mamoru: "And is Luna your cat?"
The Kid: "Yeah!"
Mamoru: "And is this your nose?" /got your nose.
The Kid /!!!
The Kid /grabs face protectively.
Mamoru: "I'll give it back if you give me back."
The Kid /feels face, and thinks about it a moment. "…hey!"
Mamoru /:D
The Kid /is not giggling, really! "…but my name's still Usagi!"
Mamoru: "Well, we have to tell you two apart, and we can't call you 'Kid' all the time."
Usagi: "How about Chibi-Usa? Come on."
The Kid: "No!"
Usagi: "Pinky."
The Kid: "No!"
Usagi: "Usagi Junior."
The Kid: "No!"
Usagi: "Usagi Two, or U2, for short."
The Kid: "No!"
Usagi: "Usi."
The Kid: "No!"
Usagi: "Little Bunny Foo-Foo."
The Kid: "No!"
Usagi: "Yoko."
The Kid: "No!"
Usagi: "Princess Victoria Serena Dorotea Pippilena Banana Fanna Bo Bena the Third."
The Kid: "No!"
Usagi: "Sally."
Mamoru: "Sally?"
Usagi: "I'm running short of ideas here."
Mamoru: "Maybe we should have a poll."
The Kid: "No!"
Usagi: "Ms. Pink."
The Kid: "Why do have to be I Ms. Pink?"
Usagi: "Because you're a—"
Luna: "Ahem."
Usagi: "—classy little lady."
The Kid: "No!"
Mamoru /raised eye-brow. "When did you see that?"
Usagi: "Never you mind. Squiggles."
The Kid: "No!"
Usagi: "Death Spore von Pinkerton."
The Kid: "No!"
Usagi: "Üsagi*. With the asterisk."
The Kid: "No!"
Usagi: "I know! Honeybunny! Somehow, it sings to me."
Mamoru: "What do you think, Pumpkin?"
The Kid: "No!"
Usagi: "What about Yolanda?"
Usagi: "No! My name's Usagi!"
Usagi: "Fine! We'll call you Usagi from now on! Happy?"
Usagi: "No!"
Usagi: "Good!"
Usagi: "Fine!"
Usagi: "Great!"
Usagi: "…"
Usagi: "…"
Mamoru: "…"
Usagi: "…I'm confused now."
Usagi: "So am I."
Yolanda: "You can call me Yolanda if you like."
Mamoru: "I like! For the sake of sanity, I like!"
Usagi: "If you like it so much, why don't you marry it?"
Mamoru: "…Where'd THAT come from?"
Usagi: "Sorry, all this is giving me flashbacks to kindergarten."

Mom: "Don't run off like that again! We were worried sick about you!"
Yolanda /scuffs feet. "…I'm sorry."
Dad: "Well, at least she's safe now. By the way, who's this young man? I don't believe we've met."
Mamoru /!
Usagi /!
Mamoru /snaps to attention. "Uh…"
Usagi: "Uh, er, this is my, um, friend, Mamoru Chiba."
Mamoru: "Pleased to make your acquaintance!"
Dad: "Oh, well, likewise, and thank you for helping us out, Chiba."
Mamoru: "Not a problem, sir!"
Shingo: "He's awfully good-looking to be stupid Usagi's boyfriend."
Usagi: "UH."
Mamoru: "UH."

Dad /heart-attack.
Mamoru /!
Dad /goes for his shotgun.
Mamoru /runs

Mom /pulls Usagi aside.
Mom: (whispers) "He's cute!"
Usagi /?
Mom: (whispers) "Bring him over for tea some time. When your Dad's out of range." ;)
Usagi: (whispers) "…Thanks, Mom."
Mom: (whispers) "Lucky girl."

Dad /remembers he doesn't have a shotgun.
Mom: "Don't you dare."
Shingo: "…Wow. You made Dad cry. Think I have a shot at that?"
Usagi: "I suspect if you bring a handsome man home sometime, yes."
Shingo: "…"
Usagi: "Mom is surprisingly cool, though."
Yolanda: "Um… can we have breakfast now?"

Dad: "…Who are you again?"
Mom: "…Are you lost, little girl? Where are your parents?"
Shingo: "Dude, check it. She has pink hair and red eyes."
Yolanda: "Oops."
Usagi: "…Oh, for goodness sake. As you hammered into me all yesterday, she's our lovely cousin Usagi from, er, wherever."
Dad: "What are you talking about Usagi?"
Mom: "Yes, dear, you don't have any cousins."
Shingo: "Yeah, don't be stupid!"
Usagi: "…I HATE YOU ALL."

Usagi into Second-Stage Sailor Moon: 9
Usagi into Sailor Moon: 43
Usagi into Princess Serenity: 1
Usagi into Disguise Form: 9
Ami into Sailor Mercury: 15
Rei into Sailor Mars: 13
Makoto into Sailor Jupiter: 8
Minako into Sailor Venus: 7
Mamoru into Tuxedo Mask: 2
Cat Head into Something-or-Other: 2

Yolanda has a spirally parasol!
Yolanda /spins the parasol. "Obey. Obey the Hypno-Parasol."
Mom: "Obey."
Dad: "Obey."
Shingo: "Obey."
Usagi: "ObeYOWW! Luna!"
Luna: "Hypnotism! Watch it!"
Usagi: "Oh? Oh!"
Yolanda: "I'm your lovely cousin Usagi from… uh…"
Mom: "Oh, yes, how could we forget?"
Dad: "Ha-ha! Senior moment, there."
Usagi: "So that's how you hypnotized everyone into accepting you, you little witch, you!"
Shingo: "Oh, Usagi, you on about the stupid mind-control joke again? Jeez, give it a rest!"
Mom: "Yes, dear, it's really not very funny, and in fact a bit insulting."
Yolanda: "Breakfast! Gimme breakfast! I'm the baby, gotta love me!"
Shingo: "Hey, has anyone noticed that her toy looks suspiciously like Luna?"
Luna /cat ignore
Usagi: "For certain definitions of the word 'like', yes. Say, Yolanda, you ever swirly-thinged me?"
Yolanda: "No!"
Usagi: "I'm not kidding around, you ever swirly-thinged me?"
Yolanda: "No!"

Rubeus, the redhead: "Yo! Berthier!"
Berthier, the blue /prances in. "Oui, mon cher? Oh, still planning ze destruction of Tokyo Crystal? But we have not yet located ze Crystal Argent or murdered la Lapin."
Rubeus /indicates the hologram display. "Ah, but I think I've located another weakness. These Crystal Points—" /makes them flash on screen. "—are Crystal Tokyo's barriers, of course. However, I believe I have located their corresponding locations in this time period."
Berthier: "…Then we can subvert them wiz our Dark Power, and weaken ze future of Tokyo!"
Rubeus: "As you say, exactement."
Berthier: "What do I do?"
Rubeus: "Here's the address, and I think it's right up your alley."
Berthier: "'Otafukuya Cosmetics and General Goods.' Tokyo Crystal shall fall!" /demure maniacal laughter.

{A city of crystal, and within the highest spire… Princess Serenity! And then all collapses in light and fire and blood.}
Mamoru /staggers and drops his textbooks.
Mamoru: "…So that's the future right now? So if I don't do something, Usagi will be—"
Mamoru /oof
Usagi: "Hello! Seems we both took the same path again, without knowing it."
Mamoru: "Uh, yeah. Uh."
Usagi: "I'm developing this theory that my life is like this twisted parody or metaphor for adult life. Like, I meet a guy, hate him, love him, get together with him, and then, boom! A child drops, literally, into the picture. Life on fast-forward."
Mamoru: "I'm breaking it off."
Usagi: "Haha! Funny. Single motherhood. Yeah. But seriously—"
Mamoru: "I don't love you anymore. Uh, and I need personal space. Have a nice life."

Rei: "¡¿He dumped you?¡ ¡¿Just like that?!"
Makoto: "What. The. Hell."
Minako: "It's probably just, like, you caught him in a bad mood, and he sucks at expressing himself when he's not wearing a cape."
Makoto: "Yeah. I mean, you transcend time and space and then he just walks off? What is he, dense?"
Ami: "Maybe he forced himself to say it for her sake, for some larger purpose."
Rei: "…If you say 'so Usagi is free to study for the entrance exams,' I will slap you."
Ami: "…"
Rei: "…"
Ami /leaps up. "Entrance exams!"
Rei /starts to stand up, Usagi restrains her.
Ami: "Or, you know, something even more important we can't imagine at the moment!"
Rei: "…Okay, she's got a point. And, Minako's on it, too. Mamoru gets tight-lipped at times, but he's got that old-fashioned sense of honor and duty. And it's obvious how he feels about you, ¡Dios!, I can tell just watching his eyes. He wouldn't just walk out. Try talking to him."
Usagi: "…thanks, Rei."

Yolanda is doing little kid homework on the floor, Mamoru is making small-talk with her.

Usagi: "Ding-dong!"
Mamoru /!
Usagi: "…"
Mamoru: "…What do you want?"
Usagi: "I wanted to apologize for this afternoon. You know I'm dense, so I didn't notice you were in a bad mood—"
Mamoru: "That's not it. I… just… don't… love you anymore." /is lying.
Usagi: "You're lying."
Mamoru: "…I might not be."
Usagi: "This is something greater than us, that's come over lifetimes, that's—"
Mamoru: "And don't I have a right to live my own life, without some past-life destiny following me? I—"
Usagi: "Your roses here in the hall need watering."
Mamoru: "…I haven't had time lately."
Yolanda /is watching this, quietly.
Usagi: "Why's she here?"
Mamoru: "I'm… not quite sure. She just walked in."
Usagi: "One walks in, one walks out… I'm sorry if I dragged you into anything you didn't want to— um—"
{Usagi has left the scene.}
Mamoru /slumps against the wall, on the verge of tears.
Yolanda /:(

Usagi walks home through the too-bright sun

not caring or noticing other people or where she's going or what's around her

until she comes to a telephone booth

and quietly steps inside

and quietly shuts the door

and quietly collapses to her knees and leans her head against the cold metal stand

and sobs and heaves in private.

"Mom, I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I can't bring him home next time… I can't… I… Mommy… "

Let's give that moment of pain a little space.

Screams, flashes of light, and then the shutters reopen.

Berthier, with sun dress and parasol: "Droid Atsugessho?"
Droid, with green hair, outré miniskirt, weird hat, a gem in her forehead, electrical cable from her skull, you know, the usual: "Oui, madame."
Berthier: "A, how-you-say, awesome plan, non? Cosmetics advertised to turn any ugly duckling into a beautiful swan… for ze first few years. But over time, ze customer's face becomes more and more hideous… so she must buy more… and more… and she never gets better, and she never stops. Quelle horreur!"
Droid: "Sounds like fun times, madame."
Berthier: "Zis store will no longer function as a Crystal Point. From now on, it will be controlled by us. Continue here, as manager of zis store, until I or M. Rubeus recall you. Sell my special products to every customer. Do you understand?"
Droid: "Oui, madame."
Berthier: "Bon! Meanwhile, I shall handle ze advertising, starting with zese wonderful posters!" /enthusiastic hand gesture.
The wind catches the posters.
Berthier: "Oop! Catch zem!"
Droid: "Too late…"
The posters fly all over the district…
Berthier: "Well. I suppose it can bring no 'arm to us."

A young woman in a phonebooth, shed of tears, looks at but does not see a poster fall beside her.

After a time, her eyes focus. She can't stay there forever. There are friends, somewhere. Food would be good. And her mother would know what to do. Mom always knows.

She stands. She pushes open the door, squints as her eyes readjust to the light. Makes a vague effort to unwrinkle her dress and adjust her socks. They're always slipping, socks. She picks up the poster to throw it in the trash, but of course she reads it, first.

Otafukuya Cosmetics, under new management, storewide 50% off sale! Some items 90% off! Make yourself beautiful enough to win any man's heart. Designs by Berthier. Guaranteed Perfectly Safe.

She abruptly crumbles the poster in her hands. Starts to twist it. Then flattens it and reads it again.

An impulse she cannot name draws her toward the address.

She stands before the storefront. Customers walk in and out, chattering, smiling, laughing.

"New management? When did this happen?"
"I don't know, but did you see those bargains?"
"My God, did I! They're practically giving it away!"
"And have you seen that new line? It's amazing."
"No, I haven't."
"There's a new fragrance that's to die for, with this exotic name: A-something-ar."

With the setting sun at her back, Usagi steps through the door.

The bell rings.
Manager: "Good afternoon! How can we help your face today?"
Usagi: "…"
Manager: "Oh, my dear, your face is covered in tears! How awful. Let me help."
Usagi: "…"
Manager: "Here. First, Berthier's Balmy Cleanser. Then, skin lotion, silky lotion, pore scrub, after scrub, facial cream, blush, lipstick, eyeliner…"
Usagi: "…"
Manager: "Oh, and don't worry about cost, dearie. I can give you a special discount since you look so sad."
Usagi: "…"
Manager: "It was a man, wasn't it, dear? Oh, I understand completely. But if you just improve your appearance, with daily application of the proper compounds, he'll come running back in no time."
Usagi: "…"
Manager: "Men are all the same. Believe me, I know, dear."
Usagi: "…Not him."
Manager: "What was that, dear?"
Usagi: "YOU'RE WRONG!"
All the customers stare.

Usagi: "You don't know anything about him! Plastering some gunk on my face won't impress him! How could it impress anyone? What is appearance to the soul? This stuff is just a never-ending spiral that'll leave my life hollow and unfulfilled, isn't it? You're just trying to suck me in and spit me out to make your sale, aren't you?!"
Manager: "…"
Usagi: "…I'm sorry, I'm having a bad day. I'll leave now."
Manager /grabs Usagi's arm.
Usagi /stops.
Usagi /looks at the offending hand. "…let go."
Manager /nastily. "You don't think you can just walk in here, say things like that, and walk out, do you, little girl? You're putting on our makeup on if I have to kill you to do it."

Spoiler: Show

Usagi: "Heh."
Usagi: "Heh heh heh."
Manager /?
Usagi: "Oh YES. Perfect. Muahahaha! Heh. Ho ho ho! Woop! Chortle chuckle snort heh heh heh." :D
Customers started leaving…
Usagi: "G'bye, folks! You should probably leave the store now! 'Cause this is gonna get ugly!" :)
Manager: "What are you doing?"
Usagi: "G'bye, folks! G'bye! Store's closed! Gomenasai! Sorry! G'bye! So long!"
Usagi: "Boy, did you pick the wrong day to pull this! I almost feel sorry for you."

Manager: "…I don't know what you—"
Usagi and the Manager lock eyes across the counter.
Usagi: "There's no need for disguises between such as we."
Manager: "Oh-ho!" /with a fluorish, unmasks as the Droid.

Usagi into Second-Stage Sailor Moon: 10
Usagi into Sailor Moon: 43
Usagi into Princess Serenity: 1
Usagi into Disguise Form: 9
Ami into Sailor Mercury: 15
Rei into Sailor Mars: 13
Makoto into Sailor Jupiter: 8
Minako into Sailor Venus: 7
Mamoru into Tuxedo Mask: 2
Cat Head into Something-or-Other: 2

Droid: "I see."
Usagi: "Your move."
Droid: "…"
Usagi: "…"
Droid: "…"
Usagi: "…"
Droid: "…"
Usagi: "…"
<< Luna claws Droid in the face! >>
< Droid falls down! >
< …knocking down several shelves! Cans and bottles roll everywhere… >
Usagi: "Luna?! When did you get here?!"
Luna: "I was scouting around out front, as usual. NO USING SUPERHEROICS AS STRESS RELIEF!"
Usagi: "Oh, but I really really want to, Luna."
Luna: "No! A Jedi is calm."
Droid /struggles free of the rubble pile. "You brat! I don't care who you are! Anyone who interferes in our glorious secret plan to destroy the future of the city of Tokyo must die!"
Luna: "…So, you have a secret plan to destroy the future of the city of Tokyo?"
Droid: "Oh. Oh! Um."
Droid: "…"
<< Droid throws Amnesia Dust! >>
< Usagi dodges! >
< Luna dodges! >
<< Droid fires Acid Face Cream! >>
< Usagi dodges! >
< Luna dodges! >
< Shot misses and hits magazine rack. Magazine rack melts! >
Usagi: "Now I'm extra glad I didn't buy any!"
Droid: "Shut up!"
<< Luna : Attack : Droid >>
< Droid parries… >
< …and ripostes! Luna is hit! >
< Luna is down! >
Usagi: "Dude!"

Enter Tuxedo Mask, dramatically, armed with +3 throwing roses!
Usagi: "I thought you didn't like me any more."
Mamoru: "Uh… Young girls have nice, smooth skin, and have no need of heavy makeup!"
Droid: "Nonsense! Oily skin, acne, and dry skin can all be handled with the proper treatments!"
Mamoru: "To the contrary! Except in exceptional circumstances, these are normal aspects of teenage development. To suggest they are not promotes unhealthy body image, and in any case most people look fine with little or no makeup!"
Droid: "You say that, but you haven't let me put together your color chart, yet! Wait until you see how badly coordinated you are!"
<< Droid calls Avon Monster. >>
< Mamoru dodges! >
<< Mamoru : Use > MonkeyRod : Self >>
<< Droid throws Acid Facial Cream! >>
< Mamoru parries… >
< …and ripostes! Droid is hit, right in the face! >
Droid: "AAAAAAAAAUUUUGHH!" /face melts.
Usagi: :eek: "EWWWW! She's got no face! There's just a blank space now! EWWW!" :eek:
Droid: "Wait! Wait! I have to put my face back together!"
Droid /pulls out makeup kit and mirror.
Droid /starts drawing a new left eye…
Usagi: "…"
Usagi /pulls out the Moon Scepter and strolls over…
<< Usagi : Cast > Halation : Droid >>
< Droid is destroyed! >
Droid: "No faiiirrrrrrrrrrrrr…" /disintegrates.

Usagi: "How'd you know so much about makeup?"
Mamoru: "Theater, remember?"
Usagi: "Oh, yeah."
Mamoru: "…Well, so long!"
Usagi /grabs him. "HOLD IT BUSTER. First you dump me, then you save me. Make up your mind!"
Mamoru: "Uh… the two things have nothing to do with each other. There are wheels within wheels and, uh, stuff."
Usagi: "…"
Usagi: "Okay. Okay. Okay. This is very hard for me to say…"
Usagi: "…because I love you and want you, damn it, I do…"
Usagi: "…but if you want to go, fine, go, but just please, for goodness sake, tell me why."
Mamoru: "…I—"
Usagi: "Really why. No lies."
Mamoru: "…I don't like girls."
Usagi: "Bullshit! Strike one."
Mamoru: "…I don't like younger girls."
Usagi: "Rei. Strike two."
Mamoru: "…I don't like weak girls."
Usagi: "…Craaaaaap."
Mamoru: "Goodbye."
Usagi: "Wait! I can level up! Wait!"
{Mamoru has left the scene.}

Luna: "Sailor Moon! I found the real store clerks tied up in the basement. Help me untie them, huh?"
Usagi: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH!!! Someone up there is just jerking me around, aren't they?! AAAAAAAUUUUGH!!!"
Luna: "…uh, is this a bad time? Because, like, they're tied up, and…"
Usagi: "GAAAH! ARRGH! ACK! DAMN IT!" /kicks a can across the street. It splits the brick where it hits.
Luna: "…I suppose I can give it a try by myself."
Usagi: "I'll just have to become stronger and win you back, then. I'll show you! I will survive!"

Yolanda: "I don't want to be called Yolanda anymore. I want to be Chibi-Usa."
Usagi: "Okay, you are going to make up your mind, kid. Or I'll feed you to the scary people."
Chibi-Usa: "You wouldn't dare."
Usagi: "Don't you try to swirly-thing me."


Unrepentant Froggie
RPGnet Member
Validated User
Re: Sailor Moon R Episode #61: Huge Shock for Usagi! Mamoru Declares a Break Up!

Two other minor observations I forgot to include about the last episode :

1) Usagi and Mamoru have suddenly switched to cutesy forms of address for each other ("Mamo-chan" and "Usa-ko"). It's a bit jarring, and suggests that some time occurred since the last episode. Our heroines have switched to summer uniforms, so we're now presumably past June 1st.

2) Interestingly, Koan didn't use a monster of the day on her first mission. That's a big change of strategy from previous villains (though Zoicite did it sometimes). Not that it works out any better for her, though.

Anyway, on to episode #61. Caution, rant ahead.

Cat Head into Something-or-Other: 2
The thing is called Luna-P, and it's surprising how versatile it is. (It even made a perfect "Grampa Hino" disguise for Chibi-Usa last episode !) Is there anything it can't do ?

Berthier, the blue /prances in. "Oui, mon cher? Oh, still planning ze destruction of Tokyo Crystal? But we have not yet located ze Crystal Argent or murdered la Lapin."
Nice recap !

Which is a good time to digress about the Black Moon's other objective : corrupt key places of the present Tokyo so that Crystal Tokyo falls to their hands in the future. I quite like that plan : it's ingenious and is quite original compared to previous arcs. It allows for quite a few other "Crystal Point of the Week" episodes. It's almost a shame it's introduced in this episode, where it gets so little screentime it's almost an afterthought.

And we get our first new Monster of the Week, which are called Droids this time around. Not that they look much different than usual...

Which is a big deviation from the manga, where they looked like this (don't pay attention to the Rorschach thingie on top, it's not important). There, the Black Moon didn't bother with Crystal Points and proceeded to start replacing the whole population of Tokyo with Droids (in a particularly creepy case, using "spontaneous combustion" to get rid of the replacees' body). It's very creepy indeed.

Mamoru: "I don't love you anymore. Uh, and I need personal space. Have a nice life."
Oh, dear. From here on, the writing quality takes a sharp nosedive. Not across the board (Usagi's characterization is as sharp as ever, and I actually like the way they're depicting Chibi-Usa), but we'll be getting tons of stupid plot ideas from now on.

Case in point : this absurd subplot for Mamoru. He's getting visions of doom for Usagi in the future, and he decides to... break up with her ? By acting like a complete jerk ?

I mean, Usagi's reaction to it is very well written, and there's lots of nice touches in Mamoru's body language... But it's still Mamoru grabbing the idiot ball with all his strength and refusing to let go, all for the sake of cheap melodrama.

I even suspect that some of the Chibi-Usa-hate comes from this, as Mamoru decides to spend quite a lot of time with her while shunning Usagi. Which really isn't Chibi-Usa's fault. That's why I think her hatedom is misguided : she's not so much a bad character than she is introduced through a terribly-written season that gives her no favors.

Does anyone here actually like the anime Black Moon arc ? The fourth season gets a lot of flack for being terrible, but I suspect that the main reason R is rated higher is thanks to the Doomtree arc, which is really far superior in execution. (I found it interesting that the manga Black Moon arc doesn't bother with much of this nonsense, and turns up to be a much better version of the same story, despite its pacing problems.)

Ami /leaps up. "Entrance exams!"
Thank you Ami for your one-note characterization. Why did I use to like you, again ?

Usagi: "Boy, did you pick the wrong day to pull this! I almost feel sorry for you."
Wow, that was awesome. Thank you for getting the most out of this annoying subplot.

Droid: "Wait! Wait! I have to put my face back together!"
Droid /pulls out makeup kit and mirror.
Droid /starts drawing a new left eye…
I love this. She's having a lot of trouble at recreating anything looking like a normal eye... Which is sensible, given that she has no eyes anymore...

I think you've already got the gist of what I think about this episode : it's a terrible idea that the writers just about manage to sell through Usagi's reaction, at the price of removing the focus from the Black Moon. And they really could have used the help : their evil scheming fails to get any momentum, and Berthier remains Blandy McBland throughout. After a good start, this is starting to get ugly.

Next episode : more plot-induced stupidity.
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