[Let's Read] M1 Blizzard Pass

Koren n'Rhys

Got your mirrorshades?
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You guys are cracking me up. Worth the effort already!

23. You snatch a stool and face the fur curtain. The others do not notice what you are doing. Suddenly, the curtain moves, and an ugly little dog-faced beast enters, carrying a wineskin and a sword. Its jaw drops in surprise, exposing sharp little teeth. You may swing at it (AC 7). If you hit, go to entry 28. If you miss go to entry 29.
1d20=16
Suck stool, dog-face!

28. You smash the stool into the creature's head, and the surprised beast drops to the ground. Salamdros, Teromil, and Roderick stop arguing and stare at the creature. "It's a good thing the stranger has his wits about him," says Roderick, "or we'd all be dead by now." "Perhaps," says Salamdros, "but his actions do not prove his merit." "Are there any more of the beastly things?" asks Teromil. "This is the only one I saw," you answer, "but we must move on before others come. Search the room and let's leave." Go to entry 32.
32. You may claim the beast's sword. Teromil will use the stool as a club. Roderick overturns a table, then breaks one of the legs off to use as a club. Salamdros also breaks a leg off the table. Though you search the room thoroughly, you find nothing else of use except the lamp. You may leave by the exit near the cell (33), or by the exit on the far wall (79).
 

Numanoid

#rocksteadyrollhard
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Though you search the room thoroughly, you find nothing else of use except the lamp. You may leave by the exit near the cell (33), or by the exit on the far wall (79).
"Looks like I took your candle, Meepo. Punk-ass bitch."

Shady turns to his new crew.

"A'ight, seeing that I run this crew now, first order is give us a name. From now on, we be called Dungeon Mafia, aka D-Mob."

"Second order: If they anything I learn from the joint - other than the exchange rate of cigarettes to a cup of toilet wine - it's that they usually put the exit really far away from the cells. So we takin' the exit on the far wall. And if you roll up on any gnomes, brownies, or goddamn tommyknockers, you FUCK their SHIT UP"

"ROLL OUT, D-MOB!"

(exit on the far wall)
 

JoeNotCharles

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Yeah, looking at the map, the table's in front of that exit. Makes sense they'd put that somewhere they can use it for cover between the cells and the exit.

I hope these aren't Tucker's kobolds.
 

JamesCat

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Guys, I just want you all to remember that should we die here, none of you can use Slim Shady in your regular campaigns.
 

jerandall

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Guys, I just want you all to remember that should we die here, none of you can use Slim Shady in your regular campaigns.
LOL, for real. And now I'm dying to invite Eminem to play D&D.

= = =

I like how two guys break off table legs to use as clubs, but Teromil is going to use the entire stool as a club -- after seeing what Shady did with it, I guess?

Agree with consensus for the far wall exit.
 

Rich H

Owl Be Back!
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Agree with consensus for the far wall exit.
So do I... BUT, if we all agree that is the exit shouldn't we check the other one first? Within the Adventurer's T&Cs, I cite:

[quote="Adventurer's T&Cs - Dungeon Operating Procedure Paragraph 27.4]
27.4 If the adventuring party is in robust health then all egress points should be investigated and explored to maximise attainment of provisions 1* and 2*]
[/quote]

Provisions 1 and 2 are "Killing Monsters" and "Grabbing their Loot", respectively.

Mind you, there's no mention of 'Bros', 'Hoes', 'Punk ass bitches', or 'D Mobs' so maybe Slim is exempt from such terms and conditions as he "writes his own shit" and "don't follow no other's punk ass rulez".
 
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JoeNotCharles

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Generally in a CYOA if there's the option to look through a door to see what's there, it'll say so explicitly, and without that option it assumes that you're going to go through and keep going. So the rule needs to be modified with a sub-clause for this situation.
 

jerandall

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Yes, I think whichever exit we choose, we're leaving this area never to return.

(Unless one of the exits leads to a dead-end, but that seems unlikely; there aren't too many CYOAs that let you go to a dead end, then return to the original area, because the description of the original area would be out of date by the time you got back. Exception: mazes. Which suck in CYOAs yet always seem to be included anyway. Warlock of Firetop Mountain, I'm glaring in your direction!)
 

thirdkingdom

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I vote the exit near the cells. Even if it doesn't lead to freedom, it will hopefully lead to our gear.
 
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