Paranoia Victims, Unite!


It's all in your head
Validated User
Creslin said:
I played it on a Con once...
Would this have been at a very early edition of Spellenspektakel?
Cause I played it a few times there... :)



Current game: In Nomine
crayne said:

Would this have been at a very early edition of Spellenspektakel?
Cause I played it a few times there... :)

It was last Spellenspektakel. But it could be, that the GM recycled his adventure.


NPC wakboth

Let's see... We were sent out of the Complex for some reason or another, and saw a brown quadruped. (A deer.) So, like any good troubleshooter, we decided it was trouble and shot at it. Everybody kept missing w. the lasers, but one of us had been issued a recoilless rifle & a box full of unsorted ammo. He grabs the first grenade and fires at the deer, about 200 m. away.

Yup, it was a one-kiloton peewee subtactical nuke...

Another time we were sent on a mission to clean some dirty toilets in an area where scrubbots weren't working properly. Did you know that when you mix extra-strong toilet disinfectant with bubbly cola and heat the resulting mixture with a laser, it explodes. The Computer had bots build an ice hockey stadium in the resulting cavern...


Retired User
I also ran this at a small con in the US, and have some fond memories of absurd deaths...

The best part was, I got the players to get up and act out the scenes (sans props), so try to visualize some of these things happening.

Funny Death #1: On the way to the briefing room, the Red-level troubleshooters run into a squad of Infrared citizens doing their morning constitutional jog through the halls. Doesn't sound threatening, right? Well, their Mandatory Fitness Leader was Green, and decided the paunchy PCs needed to jog. A lot.

Witness as players get up and jog laps around a ballroom where others are playing games or vending games. Marvel as one individual declares "I'm not going to do it", and is summarily trampled by the Infrareds as they jog past.

Funny Death(s) #2: In the field, the troubleshooters encounter what they think might be an unexploded nuke from the early days of Alpha Complex. Luckily(?) for them, R&D has given them a radiation-proof suit for the fellow who gets to try to handle it. The group didn't bother to open the package and check out the suit beforehand, so it took them a little while to figure out what I meant when I said it was five feet tall, thick quilted reflective fabric, with no eye or face holes, and only one arm sleeve, tilted up at an angle. When the Hygeine Officer deduced it was a giant man-sized oven mitt that had to be worn, he immediately volunteered the Team Leader to wear it.
The Team Leader, sadly, began to overheat in the well-insulated "suit", and had to ask the others to help him get out. They 'couldn't hear him', so he had to hop around shouting in a muffled voice until they decided to have mercy. However, pulling on the suit wouldn't help - it was on too tight. Hey, some nice sharp angled rocks! Those should catch it nicely and get our beloved Team Leader out!

Two of the team dragged the player of the Team Leader around by his ankles across the ballroom floor, yelling things like, "Can you breathe yet? It's almost off! Try that really sharp one there!" The Team Leader was lacerated and battered into incapacitation by his colleagues' help.

Funny Death #3: The Team Leader's incapacitation signalled the launch of his next clone. However, the erstwhile Medical Officer quickly tended to the body, and - miracle of miracles! - revived the former Team Leader. They could hear the Clone Insertion Round whistling in the air: what would they do? Two Team Leaders?

The problem was solved when the Clone Insertion Round landed on the first clone, squashing him flat. The door popped open, and the new Team Leader stepped out. His first words: "What's that sound?" The (real) death of the first Team Leader clone had triggered another Clone Insertion round, which landed on top of the first round, squashing it and the second clone into pulp.

The team decided to move the Team Leader out of the shell when they heard yet another whistling sound headed their way, and exterminated the last clone in a hail of laser fire just to avoid any kind of confusion.

Benjamin W. Fierce

needs food badly...
Validated User
Ah, now see, when I last played Paranoia, I was the one throwing the Thermonuclear Grenade. Into a crate of other such grenades. And it DID go off. I decided that, having destroyed roughly half of Alpha complex, that I had "won." I don't think anyone else agreed with me.



Let's just say that I still shudder whenever I hear the phrase "Rocket Boots". God, it's a miracle any of us got out of the briefing room...

Mikey Boy

A person
Validated User
I've played Paranoia twice.

First time, I managed to lose all 6 clones in one session. This happened in various ways, including having the experimental Heavy Laser overheat and explode, and being eaten by what to this day I suspect might have been A Real Honest-To-Computer evil mutant.

The most spectacular death was the 5th clone. Having accidentally managed to set off a small nuclear device that was about to wipe out the top half of a new high-profile housing block populated by several thousand of Alpha Complex' most prestigious citizens, he decided cowardice and treason were the better parts of valour. For the first and only time in his short lives, he triggered his mutant teleporting power.

Unfortunately, it misfired (bad dice roll, IIRC), and he appeared in the air 50 feet above the radio mast on top of the tower. He was impaled messily by the mast, and then vapourised by the blast :D

In the aftermath of this, the 6th clone was nominated for a commendation, for eliminating the largest known Evil Commie Mutant Conspiracy in the history of Alpha Complex :) .Unfortunately, due to a clerical error, the nomination form was sent to the Vacuum Decompression Testing Dept, and not the Commendations Office, and thus ended the short but eventful career of the Arth-R-ASCII brothers.

Second game I played, my character became leader of the group because he opened his mouth at the wrong time. Since he was a Romantic - the treasonous faction that is inspired by old Hollywood movies - he decided to start the mission with a spirits-rousing speech concocted of old war movie cliches. It was a marvellous oration, full of passion and power, and the hearts of his team swelled with courage and pride. And when he finished with the phrase, "By God, we'll make this Complex proud of us!" they gunned him down in unison. Because anyone who believes in God must be an Evil Traitor.

Ah, happy days...

Last edited:
Top Bottom