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Rules of etiquette for playing games? And has anybody enforced them?

Breogan

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Prompted by a not very fun match the other day. Not that it was a disaster with people insulting each other or anything, but really, it made me thinks that sometimes, and in some groups, I really get to play a nice, relaxing game of whatever, no matter if it is a complex or a simple game but the atmosphere at the table is easy, relaxed, fun and peaceful... and then there are days like that one. The guy with the neverending AP and the constant need of all the table to both pressure him and audit him because he also forgets to pay costs, etc. The interruptions of people both in the table and outside it to talk whatever bullshit and break the rhythm. The meta-game of crying and deflecting, a.k.a why do you this to me do it to this other guy.

Has anybody ever compiled a set of rules of etiquette for sitting and playing a game? And has anybody had any luck enforcing them? Or is just a question of just, well, you cant have that kind of experience with some people, either not play with them or endure it? Not that I'm blameless, I fall into it too when it starts happening but again, is just ... I really like it much better when the game goes mostly silently, without extraneous conversations, with the minimum chat for stuff IN the game in a calm tone, and then later we can talk and discuss it.
 

Dweller in Darkness

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If I ever found myself needing to have an actual written set of rules of etiquette for a gaming group, I would leave that gaming group. If people need social conventions written down like that, I just don't have the patience for it.
 

Breogan

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Thats also something I kinda though, that the reaction would be "screw this, you dont tell me how to play".

But really, not so much written but I'm half tempted to go to the table and say, why dont we try something different for today, something with less yelling :p
 

Eled the Worm Tamer

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Well really you are enforcing an expected social norm in terms of behavior at play whether you codify it or not. The differnce is only that a written one is more likly to have been thought about, but also by being set to have gaps or ommissions. Also that ifyou have issues reading social norms for what ever reason, an unspoken more organic set of norms has more potential to trip you up.
 

ranson

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I mean, I've rarely encountered it, but I have friends that know they have a problem player. She's great in pretty much every other situation, bit goes nuts with rules-lawyering anytime they break out a board game (which is frequently). They can't play complicated games with her, and she often ruins the fun of even simple ones; they tried to introduce Colt Express after playing it with us on vacation, she fought about it so much that it killed the game permanently for that group. If you haven't played, the base game of CE has rules that can be thoroughly explained in about two minutes, and completely understood with one or two rounds of play that maybe take the same amount of time.

With that situation, they've tried explaining the problem, but she doesn't see an issue. Not inviting her is a problem, because of a tight friend circle otherwise. So, I don't know. It's hard. I sympathize.
 

Dweller in Darkness

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Thats also something I kinda though, that the reaction would be "screw this, you dont tell me how to play".

But really, not so much written but I'm half tempted to go to the table and say, why dont we try something different for today, something with less yelling :p
It's less the, "screw this, you don't tell me how to play," and more, "if you actually have to write down, 'don't interrupt other players when they're talking,' then you have issues I simply don't have time for."
 

Breogan

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Oh, I got you Dweller, just that well, their probable reaction of "screw you" is part of why I would probably be more inclined to follow your point of view :p

Is not that much about individual players, but the group chemistry. Which makes it also interesting because it not always gets that bad, but most of the players are the same guys, so I've not identified exactly what makes a session go smooth and another go like 1 hour of listening to a screeching chalkboard. Hell, it may even be me and my mood swings...

I've found some things googling around, like




Some of them I've just skimmed, but well, from recognizing them to actually living them...
 

Gideon

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they tried to introduce Colt Express after playing it with us on vacation, she fought about it so much that it killed the game permanently for that group. If you haven't played, the base game of CE has rules that can be thoroughly explained in about two minutes, and completely understood with one or two rounds of play that maybe take the same amount of time.
In what way do you rules-lawyer that? (Haven't played the game)
 

Gideon

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The meta-game of crying and deflecting, a.k.a why do you this to me do it to this other guy.
I find this part of the fun with my games group. We all kinda do this, but it's all done with a knowing glint, and we often go back to dredging up games from several years ago to justify our behaviour. And ultimately it usually gets thrashed out in a way that the action is justified by the situation in the game. Not sure this is exactly what you mean, but of course, this can be done without any humour.

When I play with my family, my wife often ends up winning, because she does this with less 'knowing.' She is the only one who isn't really a gamer, and so she gets the benefit of the doubt and it's difficult to pick on her, so those games which often require 'policing the leader' she will often win. That would be less fun, but it's a family session, so that's a means to it's own end.
 
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Andrew Hackard

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I really like it much better when the game goes mostly silently, without extraneous conversations, with the minimum chat for stuff IN the game in a calm tone, and then later we can talk and discuss it.
You and I should never sit down at the same table. I don't like people to be focused on things other than the game ("PUT YOUR DAMN PHONE AWAY, D!" has been said, by me, more than once to one of my friends) but I also don't like a table that is too quiet. My group does a lot of table talking and it works for us. Your way isn't wrong, it just doesn't sit right with me.

Not inviting her is a problem, because of a tight friend circle otherwise.
Obligatory Geek Social Fallacies reference. Just because they do some things together doesn't mean they have to or even should do everything together. I have very good friends that I don't play games with because our styles don't mesh most of the time.
 
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