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So it looks like I am going to have a 'fun' Monday Night Game

Bruder_Wen

The Cunning Geek
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So my club has, in various forms, been running for for 35 years and I am the second longest member, having been a member (and the person who gave the club its name 'Seaxe & Sorcery') for 30 years in September. For the last few years I have also been the Tabletop Coordinator, which basically means that I run the day to day aspects of the club. We run games on a 12 week schedule and this block is due to end next Monday.

Well at the end of last week, literally as the other tables were clearing away, there was an incident. It wasn't at my table and I was only partially aware of it. Basically a character died, because the player did something stupid and the player did not react well.

The player is somewhere on the spectrum, not sure exactly where, at best he is like an excitable puppy. He always wants to be in the centre of the action, to the point where you have to remind him that his character is not actually in this scene and he can't participate. He also won't listen to advice in game or out of it and will rush into things without thinking (again in game and out). His constant need to be the centre of attention and tendency to derail games on a whim, means it is a bit of pain to game with him. When he gets frustrated or angry he can also be nasty, often making threats that he really can't carry through (he's about 5 foot five and if he's nine stone I'd be surprised).

The GM, is trans, a fact I only found out at the weekend. I am hoping that wasn't part of the issue.

The group were playing D&D and had come across an adamantine gate, which reflected back any damage done to it. The player, whose character was a monk, knew this but decided to flurry of blows on the gate. I suspect he thought he could do enough damage to destroy it before the damage could be reflected. What he managed was to enough damage to insta kill himself. To me this sounds a little harsh, but from other players he had 'got away with enough shit' already and the rest of the players see no issue with the call.

Now I have been told that GM wants to speak with me before the next session, by one of the other players. The GM is not happy at what happened. Now I have very few details on what happened, just what I wrote, and I am refraining from doing so until the GM talks to me. If necessary I will talk to the other players to get their opinion on the events. If the player is there I will also have to chat with him (I'm not sure he will be since this is the last game of this run) and if necessary kick from the club. It is not something I want to do, but I know a few members of the club will be secretly pleased if he does go.

I just wanted to GM my own game damnit!
 

Harlander

Almost determinedly non-useful
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Good luck, and props to you for putting in the work to keep the club rolling. I've never done it myself, but from the people I know I do, it can be pretty draining.
 

Bruder_Wen

The Cunning Geek
RPGnet Member
Validated User
It can be a bit of work finding GM's sometimes, in years past the pool of those willing to run a game has been slightly small. Not so bad these days, but some of the newer GMs have been a bit unreliable, which more than annoying. I have been forced to be slightly draconian about it, GMs not able to turn up on game night need to let me know by 4pm Monday and I have banned a couple of people from running future games due their flakeyness. Otherwise it isn't too bad. Far easier than when I was a main LARP ref for a game with about 70+ players (same club we run LARP events and table top), now that stopped being fun and turned into an unpaid job.

Actually there might be an issue next set of games as the player in question is due to run a game, though no one has signed up to play it yet, so it might pan out
 

Eyefink

New member
So, I've seen a few threads with this topic and wanted to register to respectfully respond to it. I'm of a couple minds when I read stories like that, because as the parent of teen 'on the spectrum' it hurts my heart to see the frustration people can experience and how it can lead to wanting people to be removed from a group, but I also know it takes a special kind of patience to deal with those behaviors and game night is many people's time to get away from stressful situations and unwind--it's not really fair for everyone to be put through the ringer to accommodate one person all the time.

But also, it's that kid's night to go be someone else and do something fantastical when their day-to-day life might be incredibly structured or within a special classroom, and to be honest for someone like that to be in social situations and using their imagination is pretty great--those are skills that the majority of the population take for granted but may not come easily for some, and can be the difference between being able to hold a job or not in the future.

Anyway, I know absolutely nothing about these scenarios, the specifics of personal life or how the group runs, but maybe in this instance would it be possible to canvass for GMs/players who are willing to adventure with people who have trouble in these social situations and have that as a standing group for people rotate in/out of? Looser rules, less harsh consequences, etc. It would keep more people playing while putting a gentle barrier between them and others trying to relax. I totally understand the large levels of frustration, so I hope I didn't offend anyone or ruffle feathers, just trying to offer some kind of advice without having to remove folks from game night. :)
 

Argent

Anywhere... just not here
Validated User
The GM, is trans, a fact I only found out at the weekend. I am hoping that wasn't part of the issue.
I have read this post back and forth, and I fail to see what this statement has to do with anything else in here.
 

Bruder_Wen

The Cunning Geek
RPGnet Member
Validated User
I have read this post back and forth, and I fail to see what this statement has to do with anything else in here.
I am hoping that the player didn't say something transphobic. I'm hoping he was just being sweary and aggressive. We have up to this point as a club managed to avoid a lot of toxic behaviour, something that as a long term member I am quite proud of. We have have always had female members, there are a number of LGB members and a couple of trans members, though mostly on the LARP side, and there's never been an issue. The closest we got was when a stupid kid was goaded into saying something which was anti Semetic, he was a Arsenal fan and he said how much he hated Tottenham, but used their fans nickname, which just happens to be also a slur, while sitting next a Jewish player. When we explained to him why that was unacceptable, he wasn't even aware the name was a Jewish slur....as I said he was a teen and definitely not the sharpest knife in the draw.

If he did say something transphobic then that's going to be an instant kicking out of the club, we cannot and will not accept that behaviour. Our constitution is crystal clear on that and every member is aware of that. I don't want to kick the player if I can help it, I'd much rather warn him about his behaviour.
 

Bruder_Wen

The Cunning Geek
RPGnet Member
Validated User
So, I've seen a few threads with this topic and wanted to register to respectfully respond to it. I'm of a couple minds when I read stories like that, because as the parent of teen 'on the spectrum' it hurts my heart to see the frustration people can experience and how it can lead to wanting people to be removed from a group, but I also know it takes a special kind of patience to deal with those behaviors and game night is many people's time to get away from stressful situations and unwind--it's not really fair for everyone to be put through the ringer to accommodate one person all the time.

But also, it's that kid's night to go be someone else and do something fantastical when their day-to-day life might be incredibly structured or within a special classroom, and to be honest for someone like that to be in social situations and using their imagination is pretty great--those are skills that the majority of the population take for granted but may not come easily for some, and can be the difference between being able to hold a job or not in the future.

Anyway, I know absolutely nothing about these scenarios, the specifics of personal life or how the group runs, but maybe in this instance would it be possible to canvass for GMs/players who are willing to adventure with people who have trouble in these social situations and have that as a standing group for people rotate in/out of? Looser rules, less harsh consequences, etc. It would keep more people playing while putting a gentle barrier between them and others trying to relax. I totally understand the large levels of frustration, so I hope I didn't offend anyone or ruffle feathers, just trying to offer some kind of advice without having to remove folks from game night. :)
I agree, a couple of the members of the club are teachers, actually they were at one time the player's teachers. He is by no means the only person on the spectrum and in one case we had to argue with parents of one member to keep them in the club, when they suggested we told the teenager (at the time) he wasn't welcome. Personally, I think roleplaying is a great way to help, it definitely helped the second kid, who is now one of the linchpin players in the LARP.

The player in question has been a member of the club for about 3 years and only joined after he left school. While I am not a fan of his, mostly because he seems to think that I am his unpaid taxi service, I don't want to kick him out if I can help it.
 

drrockso20

Registered User
Validated User
definitely a hard place to be in, though considering your seniority in the club it's not surprising that they went to you for help on this issue, as someone on the spectrum myself I'd say be lenient if it's apparent that it has more to due with his condition than anything else once you get all the facts, overall though I'd suggest only kicking him out of the club entirely if it's absolutely necessary, though it might not be a bad idea to maybe find some form of lesser punishment to make it more clear to him that some of his behaviors are detrimental to the group's overall fun
 

Bruder_Wen

The Cunning Geek
RPGnet Member
Validated User
definitely a hard place to be in, though considering your seniority in the club it's not surprising that they went to you for help on this issue, as someone on the spectrum myself I'd say be lenient if it's apparent that it has more to due with his condition than anything else once you get all the facts, overall though I'd suggest only kicking him out of the club entirely if it's absolutely necessary, though it might not be a bad idea to maybe find some form of lesser punishment to make it more clear to him that some of his behaviors are detrimental to the group's overall fun
Well them coming to me is my own fault, I wrote the constitution (if 10 bullet points can be called a constitution) and point 10 was that disagreements should be handled at a table level, but that if they wanted an independent ruling they should be escalated to me.

There's a reasonable chance I will have to wait to get his side of the story. It is the last week of this set of games, his character died this week, so I suspect he will skip the game. I will need to get his side before I can make a decision, which might mean doing it by messenger.

One thing that is confusing me is why the request came from another player and not the GM herself. She has my contact details, so that was not the issue and she does not normally come across as a shrinking violet. I am confident that the player who did make the request isn't stirring the pot, because that's not his style. Also, I was aware enough that tensions had risen, but I thought, at the time, not to levels that the GM couldn't handle. I assume things escalated after I left.
 

Bruder_Wen

The Cunning Geek
RPGnet Member
Validated User
Well that turned out to be a damp squib. It turns out that the GM was just upset that the player got upset and thus was argumentative. To be honest, I kind of expect an experienced GM to be able to handle an ansy player. It also turned out that the GM had decided to reverse the death, meaning the event which triggered the outburst had been nullified. Examples were given how previously the player had acted exactly how the player normally acts, basically doing something stupid which derailed the game and a suspicion that the player had cheated.

So, I had a quick chat with the player, told him a complaint had been made and to try and control his temper in the future.
 
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