Things you've seen in games that are so dumb, you should've beaten the GM senseless.

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Law Dog

I don't like you!
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#1
Setting: AD&D 2nd

Game Master: Friend of a marginal member of our gaming group, running for us the 1st time after being hyped up as a great DM.

We are invading the orc lair. In one room we find three wooden barrels full of clear liquid (open barrels at that).

GM informs us that there is a gold coins at the bottom of each. I sense some crap about to go down, so I cut the ear off of a dead orc in the room and drop it in the liquid. Nothing happens. Another player reaches into the liquid to get the coin. GM informs him it is acid and that his hand is disintegrated. The GM also informs us after some other idiocy that the other two barrels are full of water and wine.

WTF. Frickin Aqua Regia wouldn't even eat away a limb like this. I inform the GM that it's pretty stupid on all accounts and start going down a list why.

Who in there right mind would keep two drinking liquids next to the acid that seems to act as a sphere of annihilation? I can see what hilarity that could cause in the middle of the night when one of the orcs went get get a drink of water (or a nightcap) and mistakenly dipped his cup in the wrong barrel.

Acid has a tendency to give off fumes. It also loses it's potency if you just leave it out like that. 50 gallons of acid would probably be worth more in a typical D&D economy than everything else in the orc lair, expecially one that potent.

Why the hell didn't the ear disintegrate? Denis' character's hand sure melted away fast enough.

What was up with the coins in the bottom? Some sort of party game by the orcs? Dunking for gold, with the possibilty of putting your head in an acid bath?

Needless to say - we all thought the guy was a moron and didn't invite him back. He did however manage to steal one of the the player's copies of Deities and Demigods (Chtulhu edition). What a jerk.
 

SteveD

Platypus Rises
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#2
Sounds like standard fare for a Gygaxian dungeon, though. So maybe he was just playing to genre?

I GM a lot though, so I just have things so stupid I shouldve beaten the PLAYERS senseless.

Like the time in Ars Magica when they found a magical elven stream. Player one drinks, and finds himself miraculously healed. The PCs who weren't injured took mouthfuls of water but didn't swallow. They spent the rest of the day walking aroudn with the cheeks full of water, waiting for their next fight, so that, when injured, they could immediately swallow.

I should have had the elves fucking kill them for that. I mean the players.
 

TechnoGothic

New member
Banned
#3
Rifts : Rune Toothpick, nuff said.

Vampire the Masquerade : a NPC who carried, a shotgun, 2 m16s, 4 50 cal hand guns, a bowie knife, 6 hand grenades, 2 uzis, spare ammo for all these guns 4 spare clips/reloads per gun, a machete, boot knife, brass knuckles....All this not even making his trength coat bulge the least bit, and he had full stealth dice pools....and thats the just the least annoying/dumb thing the ST had in that game
 

Charlemagne20

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#4
Re: Things you've seen in games that are so dumb, you should've beaten the GM sensele

Going after Jason with Mulder and Scully...in a highlander game.

Oh yes and finding out two girlfriends in a row were his sister in a Star wars game.
 

Law Dog

I don't like you!
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#5
TechnoGothic said:
Vampire the Masquerade : a NPC who carried, a shotgun, 2 m16s, 4 50 cal hand guns, a bowie knife, 6 hand grenades, 2 uzis, spare ammo for all these guns 4 spare clips/reloads per gun, a machete, boot knife, brass knuckles....All this not even making his trength coat bulge the least bit, and he had full stealth dice pools....and thats the just the least annoying/dumb thing the ST had in that game
Heh, must be related to the Champions NPC hot dog cart vendor that whipped out a double barrel 12 gauge on the PC's on on a street corner in Denver.

Let's see - Ketchup, Mustard, Kraut, Double-Ought Buck :eek:
 

TygerTyger

Registered User
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#6
Re: Things you've seen in games that are so dumb, you should've beaten the GM sensele

Charlemagne20 said:
Oh yes and finding out two girlfriends in a row were his sister in a Star wars game.
Pfft. When that happened the second time, I would have just said, "Well, I guess all you can do is roll with it. So, sis, you wanna go to bed?"

That would probably end that trend in a hurry. One would hope, anyway.
 

Law Dog

I don't like you!
Validated User
#7
Re: Things you've seen in games that are so dumb, you should've beaten the GM sensele

TygerTyger said:
Pfft. When that happened the second time, I would have just said, "Well, I guess all you can do is roll with it. So, sis, you wanna go to bed?"

That would probably end that trend in a hurry. One would hope, anyway.

Aha. We have finally achieved Twincest.
 

Cthulhu's Advocate

Squamous Spokesman
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#8
Re: Things you've seen in games that are so dumb, you should've beaten the GM sensele

TechnoGothic said:
Vampire the Masquerade : a NPC who carried, a shotgun, 2 m16s, 4 50 cal hand guns, a bowie knife, 6 hand grenades, 2 uzis, spare ammo for all these guns 4 spare clips/reloads per gun, a machete, boot knife, brass knuckles....All this not even making his trength coat bulge the least bit, and he had full stealth dice pools....and thats the just the least annoying/dumb thing the ST had in that game
That's crazy.




Everyone knows the AK is superior to the M16. ;)

Speaking of Vampire my character was chaingunned to death in a graveyard by Shaft while on fire and being attacked by an army of zombies.

I also fought cyborgs and Transformers with Dracula. At least I wasn't shaved with a silver crowbar by a Malkavian named Captain Grandpa.

It was one of those games.
 

Arcane1

Gunzosha - In - Training
Validated User
#9
I could write and book.
  • The first time I played WT:A it was with a group I had never played with before, and none of us had played Werewolf before, includeing the ST. The pack consisted of two Metis who both had the deformity of have an extra set of fully funtional arms, that gave them a Strenght of 10 in Homid form, and a Galss Walker who had a Semi that ran on cold fustion as not to harm the enviroment. We spent the whole session killing loggers. Human loggers who just stood there in the grip of the Delerium(sp?). Some of them were killed by being thrown into orbit by our four armed packmates.
  • AD&D 2ed. So of course we are all playing Drow in Forgotten Realms. We had all just read The Crystal Shard and the group had gotten the FR boxed set, the Mezoberanzan boxed set, and anything elece Drow related. (We were all `5 or so give me a break ok?) This wasnt "kewl enuff" for one of the players (who to this day I beleive must have been blowing the GM, because not only did he get to play this guy, he got to play him or some version of him in every game we played for the rest of High School) he was Drizzt's half brother (so that ment Drizzt would come a running whenever he needed him to, even if we were in the Elemental Plane of Earth he would just know). Why only half brother, why cause his other half was dragon. He was also the Chosen of Mystara. Who had Spellfire. His class was Weaponsmaster. To this day I am still not shure what all the abilitys of that class was, but I do know that you got all the Thief abilitys (Move Silently, Hide in Shadows, Pick Locks, ect), had a better Thaco and had more attacks per round than a Figher with Weapon Specialty. Plus if you rolled 3 or more higher than what you needed to to hit something you killed it outright. No roll or anything, it just died.
 

Ace the hero

Waaaghboss in Training
Validated User
#10
Re: Things you've seen in games that are so dumb, you should've beaten the GM sensele

Cthulhu's Advocate said:
Speaking of Vampire my character was chaingunned to death in a graveyard by Shaft while on fire and being attacked by an army of zombies.
Your game sounds AWESOME! Much better than the Vampire games I've been in.
 
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