[+? -? Who knows] But no, seriously, fuck Kender


advertise with rpgnet

L. Ron Paul

AKA L. Ron Gygax
#21
The problem I have with that is that kender can't maintain this "no sense of property" for very long. All that needs to happen is for a human to say to them, don't pick up anything I wear on my person or store in that house I live in. Because if you do we'll cut off a finger. The kender may never understand why things work this way, but after the the first pinkie he'll understand the need to abide by that rule just the same. Kender cannot maintain their silly behavior when they come in contact with other species/cultures.
It could be cool if Kender were more dedicated to trying to demonstrate their own understanding of property as opposed to stealing stuff a bunch in the name of (culture? genetics?).

Like if the Kender neighborhood of a big town was just a weird commune where everyone's tools and such were kept in a communal shed, all food and consumable goods dispensed from central depositories. I mean it'd be good for a Jack Donaghy inspired morality play.

Lemmon, that's why we need to take money from the middle class. How else would we pay the middle class?
 

Ettin

Your Problematic Fave
Staff member
Moderator
RPGnet Member
Validated User
#26
The problem I have with that is that kender can't maintain this "no sense of property" for very long. All that needs to happen is for a human to say to them, don't pick up anything I wear on my person or store in that house I live in. Because if you do we'll cut off a finger. The kender may never understand why things work this way, but after the the first pinkie he'll understand the need to abide by that rule just the same. Kender cannot maintain their silly behavior when they come in contact with other species/cultures.

Oh that was you? Because I've seen it around from time to time and I do like it a lot. :)
(⌐■_■)

I also wrote a blog post about why I hate kender two years ago which neatly explains my feelings on kender in just one and a half thousand words, but to summarise the part relevant to your post...

You know what really shits me? That kender apparently have no concept of property or whatever and that's why they like going spelunking in people's backpacks, but when asked about stolen goods they have they also give "perfectly reasonable explanations", aka straight-up lying about it. Also, they don't understand boundaries, privacy or how what they do is stealing, yet they understand the concept of thievery enough to hate thieves and flip their shit when you call them one.

Seriously fuck kender.
 

Sage Genesis

Two
RPGnet Member
Validated User
#27
It could be cool if Kender were more dedicated to trying to demonstrate their own understanding of property as opposed to stealing stuff a bunch in the name of (culture? genetics?).

Like if the Kender neighborhood of a big town was just a weird commune where everyone's tools and such were kept in a communal shed, all food and consumable goods dispensed from central depositories. I mean it'd be good for a Jack Donaghy inspired morality play.
Yeah I had a similar idea a while ago. The no sense of property can be done, sure. Basically you'd make commie halflings which has cool potential. The other races could claim they are all thieves because of their bad rep. The legal implications for mercantile operations alone are fascinating. Who do you talk to to sell items to the kender community as a whole? Or buy from? What if there's a dispute over what a deal means? If a human dies in kender lands, do his belongings pass on to his heir? Or do the kender get to keep it as freed up goods which now belong to the community?

I've devoted quite a bit of thought to it and find it a fascinating topic.

Which makes it all the sadder that kender are nothing like this. They're obnoxious little thief-child people.
 

L. Ron Paul

AKA L. Ron Gygax
#28
Yeah I had a similar idea a while ago. The no sense of property can be done, sure. Basically you'd make commie halflings which has cool potential. The other races could claim they are all thieves because of their bad rep. The legal implications for mercantile operations alone are fascinating. Who do you talk to to sell items to the kender community as a whole? Or buy from? What if there's a dispute over what a deal means? If a human dies in kender lands, do his belongings pass on to his heir? Or do the kender get to keep it as freed up goods which now belong to the community?

I've devoted quite a bit of thought to it and find it a fascinating topic.

Which makes it all the sadder that kender are nothing like this. They're obnoxious little thief-child people.
Communist-Halflings would definitely rate up there with cannibal halflings and dino-riding halflings. Someone should retrofit this into the next FR edition to continue the trend of halflings getting the most interesting racial writeup.
 

delguidance

Registered User
Validated User
#29
I like Kender because they aren't boring. The world is full of people droning on about their trite backstories, knights endlessly going over tedious tactics, druids contemplating the moss growing from their navels, and everything is so serious all the time. Kender are the last bulwark against rpg's turning into "I wait in line to fill out paperwork, and I keep waiting."

Kender remind DM's that while they've been looking up rules and describing their preciously conceived NPC's for the last 45 minutes there's a player at the far end of the table who has gotten bored. Bored players lead to the kinds of troublesome creativity Kender just embody.

Plus the no fear aspect is cool. Kender are the Deadpools of fantasy rpgs.
 
Top Bottom